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Stabbing Salad is FUN!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Thanks buggirl19 for this image.

Stabbing salad has been my go to snack lately. Not that I thought of myself as stabbing it. But that is a good frustration release!!! I've just been eating salad 'cause I've had horrible stress munchies. And it is low calorie, time consuming, consumption. Crunching carrots is good too.

Push-ups are also my stress reliever. Full out, man-style, push-ups! I like to use my adrenaline to increase the most I've ever done before. Gives me a real sense of power, when I don't have control over seemingly anything.

I also do jumping jacks on the mini trampoline downstairs. Or I jog in place while Elmo's World is on for the kiddies. All good for stress relief.

I am feeling less stress over my money situation. And I am feeling good that I am doing the right stuff by not buying stuff. It is going to take a while to get back out of the hole. (slowly the hole will fill and I will see the light of day again). I am learning a lot. I am beginning to sense a thrill over saving (hoarding) money. I am also beginning to grasp the idea of the sheer sense of joy I will have when I pay for something outright without worry. Freedom is worth having. It is worth fighting for.

It's even worth it to give up some fatty, greasy, salty, crap-o-la. Just to gain a feeling of freedom from being able to walk into a store and put on (dare I say) a one digit size and KNOW it will fit. The freedom of running. The freedom of low blood pressure. The freedom of flexibility. The freedom of sexiness. The freedom of confidence!

Oh yes! Stabbing salad is F*U*N!!! And WORTH it!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUDRFLY31 4/28/2010 8:02PM

    You Go!! Nice insight. Very impressive with the unmodified push ups. I am up to 3 sets of 10. Talk about a stress reliever. FREEDOM!
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MBSKIT 4/28/2010 1:41PM

    I never thought as stabbing salad either BUT how that is one sure way to get rid of stress!
Sounds like you are doing great!

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CHUBBYPIE 4/28/2010 12:40PM

    You are so inspiring!!

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DIXIED88 4/28/2010 10:39AM

    HA! Thanks for the shout out!! I love knowing that I'm heard (and understood!). And I heard a little about the donkey story in the filling in the hole.

It is fun. We will make it to the end. Why...because we are WORTH IT! We can and we will...together!

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Oh and I don't do man pushups either! You are one strong woman!! I crank out the girl ones though!! My excuse is my bunion/toe. NO EXCUSES. I shall try a man one today!

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CAALAN23 4/28/2010 10:20AM

    You and Crystal abusing vegetables. It's sad really. ;) What did they ever do to you? LOL!

Good to know you have that light at the end of your tunnel. Keep that in sight and keep plugging away. I KNOW you will get there. :)

(Gracious, I don't know if I can even DO a full-man-style push up. Must attempt this at home tonight.)

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I was nobodies prize yesterday

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I wrote that fabulous blog all about being a prize of exquisite craftsmanship, and then...

KA-BLOOOEEEEEYYYY!

My day, my emotions, my reliance, all fell to pieces.

I ate enough sodium to fill the pacific Ocean!

I ate gooey cheese.

I had Ranch Dressing.

I felt like I was falling apart.

I yelled at my BF. (and still feel a little like doing it some more. I always take it out on the one I love.)

I did not exercise.

That was YESTERDAY!

Today. I still feel poopey. I still ate a bit too much for breakfast. I still feel like yelling at the WORLD!

But.

I did exercise.

And I do feel a little bit better.

If I make some good choices the rest of today, I should still be in my ranges.

So, what set me off?

Danged if I really know.

I'm pretty sure I can pin it on too much month at the end of my money.

Financial issues sure do send me into a "woe-is-me" capital P, Pittyfest. I dug a hole as big as the grand canyon in debt. I am digging myself out. It is HARD! It is degrading. It feels like I am doing what I can (no cable, no magazines, no extras, no using credit at any time for anything), yet I am getting NO WHERE.

It sure does suck the esteem right out of me. And, I have no one to blame but ME. Me Me ME! I got myself into this. I have to get myself out of it.

But sometimes, I want to leave my life. I want a do over. I want some fabulous person to leave me a HUGE chunk-0-money just cause I'm so damned cute. emoticon I mean, I am. Right?

Why did I do this to myself? Why did I believe that things would fill me? Why have I believed food would satisfy me/fill me? What would it be like to be financially free? To be physically fit? To be in control? To be happy in all circumstances?

When will I know I am free?

One. Day. At. A. Time.

I am still a prize. I am cute. I will be free.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIMEFORVACATION 4/29/2010 9:25AM

    You will dig yourself out! You have nursing school and a larger income with benefits, sick and vacation pay to look forward to! I know you can do it. emoticon

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PEGETSMALLER 4/27/2010 10:58PM

    Remember you are changing your life. Be proud of that!

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CJKOMODO 4/27/2010 4:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIXIED88 4/27/2010 2:24PM

    Hugs, my adorable friend! If you find that person handing out chunks of money for being cute...can you send them my way? I'm sure I can bat my eyelashs in just the right way! emoticon

I don't have much advice b/c I'm right there in that hole with you. We've both stopped digging and that's something! Remember that old story about the donkey that fell down the well? They tried to bury him and after each shovel full of dirt he stepped up until he reached the top. One foot at a time... We'll make together! emoticon

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OWENZZOO 4/27/2010 1:01PM

    You are so not alone! But I have some encouragement for you. These are lyrics from one of my favoirte songs by Nicole C. Mullen. If you have not heard it and can listen online it is a great song and it has a beat!

Hang in there!

Baby Girl
By: Nicole C Mullen

Do you know your worth?
More than diamonds hidin’ on a shelf
Do you know who you are?
God has made you a shining star

I’ve got a little friend, her age is four plus ten
She calls me on the phone crying, crying every now and then
And she says, “My mama just wont listen, my daddy still is missin’
I don’t feel I am nothing of value or worth”

And I say, “Baby girl get a hold of yourself
Baby girl don’t yu know your wealth
You’re a diamond hidin’ on a shelf
Baby girl, baby girl”

“Baby girl don’t you know who you are
God has made you a shining star
Little light’s brighter than the dark
Baby girl, baby girl”

I call my sisters friend, I’m crying, crying and whining again
She lets me vent my heart before the healing starts
And I say, “My children just won’t listen, my paycheck still is missin’
And every little thing is working my nerve”

And she says, “Baby girl get a hold of yourself
Baby girl don’t you know your wealth
You’re a diamond hidin’ on a shelf
Baby girl, baby girl”

“Baby girl don’t you know who you are
God has made you a shining star
Little light’s stronger than the dark
Baby girl, baby girl”
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CHUBBYPIE 4/27/2010 12:00PM

    We are so freakin similar...its scary! I was a complete b*tch to my fiance yesterday for things he has no control over... But the guys are tough and they understand that sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Being cute helps too...but you know this

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BEACHY_KEEN 4/27/2010 11:55AM

    I can totally relate to the digging a hole for yourself thing. It looks like you're moving in the right direction.
You stopped digging! Way to go!
I'm sorry you're feeling poopy, and hope you feel better soon. emoticon

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CAALAN23 4/27/2010 11:50AM

    First off...yes...you are most certainly cute.

Now that the important thing has been dealt with, I know how you feel about the finances. DH is taking a 15% cut in pay starting this month through 2013. Owww. We have debt, credit cards, mortgage, and car note. It's scary to wonder if we can make it that long and still maintain what Boo is used to (mostly I mean keep up with swimming which ain't cheap.)

All I can say is do what you can and give the rest to God. Look for opportunities and have the courage to take them when they arrive.

You are not helpless, from what you've written you're doing a lot for your situation. Remind yourself of those victories, even if they seem to be little tiny dents in the big picture, it is better than not being active about it.

Huh. Sounds a lot like losing all this frakkin weight, don't it? You can do this.

You will know what it's like to be physically fit, because if you think back on your past blogs, you've done more in the last couple of weeks than a lot of people are even capable of.

You will be financially free because you are aware of your situation and have a passion to do so. I admire that, I hope I have the courage to do half of what you are doing if it comes to that for us.

Believe in yourself, chica, cause I sure do. Pluswhich, you know...you're very cute. ;)

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A prize of exquisite craftsmanship

Monday, April 26, 2010

I just told tsuzanne that she is just that. A prize of exquisite craftsmanship. Worthy of being so to only the man deserving of such a prize. I truly do believe that too.

But do I swallow that for me?

How many times have I compromised myself for less than? And why? Is that all I feel is out there for me? All I deserve?

At one time I would say that I wasn't all that. I was mean, manipulative, selfish. I looked at myself through very narrow eyes.

But then I learned to look at the world around me. I learned the joy that only comes from being a giving person. The sense of self that only comes from being selfless. The fact that being on a pedestal only makes you a target. I also stopped waiting for life to happen. For changes to happen. I realized that all I have is right here, right now, and I had to make the most of it if I wanted to experience happiness, joy, love.

It's all there. Right now.

I make the most of everyday. (most of the time). I am a prize of exquisite craftsmanship. Not everyone may "get" that. That's okay. The ones that do are the ones that deserve to see it, that see it in themselves too. We are all unique. We all have talents. We all deserve to soar. And we should surround ourselves with others who feel the same way. Or, at the very least, we should try to help others soar. It's neat to see that. It makes me even more exquisite.

I believe. In me. In you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTMISHY 4/26/2010 12:43PM

    Beautiful. Right on. We all are prizes of exquisite craftmanship. And now we must BELIEVE it of ourselves. Thank you.

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MICHELEB609 4/26/2010 12:32PM

    Beautifully philosophical! Thank you for sharing such wonderful advice. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIFFANY_SUZANNE 4/26/2010 10:43AM

    Not only poetic but your words really touched me.

THANK YOU!!!! emoticon

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CAALAN23 4/26/2010 9:19AM

    Not just exquisite craftsmanship but unique, there's only one you! I believe in you, but better than that, friends like you make me believe in myself and I am grateful.

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BUDRFLY31 4/26/2010 9:14AM

    We can soar! Let's soar! I believe I can. I believe you can. See you in the sky!
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WALKNLOVE 4/26/2010 8:21AM

    Good blog! Thanks for sharing!

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KENDALL7261 4/26/2010 7:47AM

  Right here, right now, I believe! In you and me, thank you for the nice reminder.

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I WANT it!

Friday, April 23, 2010

I want a smooth belly!

I want thin, muscular legs!

I want arms that will stop traffic! )

I want a body that looks good in short shorts/dresses/shirts (nothing)!

I want to walk into any "normal sized" clothing store and KNOW I will fit into them without going a size up!

I want perky boobs!

I want the aches and pains caused by weight and inactivity to be gone! I want to replace them with the healthy ache of a good workout-followed by a feeling of great relaxation and triumph!

I want to be in control of what and when I eat!

I want to be in control of my emotions!

I want confidence to stream out of me!

I want a sharp mind and wit!

I want to cause heads to turn!

I want sexy hair!

I want a booty that makes all the boys cry!

I want to look GREAT coming and going!

I want everyone else to feel this sexy, confident, and in control too!

I WILL move more!

I WILL eat fruits, veggies, healthy fats, proteins, grains and dairy.

I WILL talk out my feelings.

I WILL be a better, smarter, physically appealing, version of myself in a matter of months!







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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICHELEB609 4/26/2010 12:39PM

    I'm going to print this and recite it every morning to remind myself how much I want these things too!! emoticon emoticon

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WEIGHTWAR 4/23/2010 2:57PM

    I'm Printing this and putting it up in my room! emoticon

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CAALAN23 4/23/2010 12:25PM

    I seriously doubt I will get the perky boobs, but I can fix that with a good bra. (Got one on now, and I must say, they are standing at attention, LOL!)

I do want those things! Let's go get 'em!

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BUTTERCUP76 4/23/2010 12:02PM

    I want it all too! (mostly the perky boobs!) LOL

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DLEE27 4/23/2010 11:54AM

    Awesome blog! I totally agree!!!
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DIXIED88 4/23/2010 11:40AM

    Let's do this!! Get it, girlie!!

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RUTHIEBEAR 4/23/2010 9:48AM

    Me too!

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CHUBBYPIE 4/23/2010 9:22AM

    You want it? You will get it!!! I know the drive you have and there is nothing in your way!!

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BUDRFLY31 4/23/2010 9:14AM

    I am almost at goal and gained a lot of these things you mentioned in your blog. However, I am not smarter, but I make smarter choices. And my boobs, not perky at all :( I nursed 3 children, lost a lot of weight and now they need a steel bra to keep them from drooping! Thankfully, my husband still cherishes them and I am proud of them nourishing life for 3 babies! Biggest thing above all other benefits to losing my weight. HEALTHY AND SELF CONFIDENT! (That's not to say I don't care about the rest, but I can live without it)

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MOMGABE 4/23/2010 8:25AM

    I want it TOO!!

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I stole this/Balloon and Kites

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Ten Commandments of Permanent Fat Removal

1. Thou shalt honor and believe in thyself.

2. Thou shalt move thy booty. Move it and move it some more.

3. Thou shalt never go hungry again. Eat small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day.

4. Thou shalt stock the fridge with the right stuff - the fruits and vegetables of the earth, the melba toast of men who walked before us.

5. Thou shalt honestly write it down. If you bite it, you must write it.

6. Thou shalt weigh and measure thyself and thy food.

7. Thou shalt drink enough Holy Water to frighten Noah and map out all the restrooms in thy village.

8. Thou shalt not deny thyself a treat or two now and then.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's plate.

10. Thou shalt not eat out of misery, boredom, anxiety ... but should they over-indulge, forgive thyself immediately.

All Is Forgiven, Move On!

I ripped this right off INKMANSWIFE 's page. She said she stole it too, but I don't know who/where from.

I like it. It's pretty simple, accurate, good.


BALLOONS and KITES

I've been thinking about BUGGIRL19's blog about the balloon string for two days now. If you haven't read it--go--read. I'll wait.

Great. Nice to have you back. emoticon

Now, I've been trying to figure out; what is my string? What am I not seeing that is causing my stubborn weight to not just fly away? I love that a "little kid" knew enough to not just stand there yelling at the balloon to "go". He knew enough to turn his gaze in another direction. ( I wish I could italicize "in another direction")

I know that my gaze needs to be turned inward. Although I do believe that stuff in my outer world inhibits my winning the battle (ice cream in the freezer, chocolate in the candy dish, a big comfy couch and a nice inviting book to read--but look at commandment #8, it's all good). The real trouble always comes to an inner gaze thing.

I just have trouble navigating around in here.

It's dark in here.

I keep forgetting my flashlight.

I get scared.

I get stuck.

My voice has trouble articulating what is going on in here.

I get frustrated.

I shut down.

NO ENTRY!

I eat. I get lazy. I seek that comfy couch and chocolate and ice cream to keep from remembering the flashlight. (food coma surely makes me foggy)

Now, some of you may not be big believers in a higher power, but I am, so bare with...

I believe living in darkness is death on earth. And sometimes, we need a little help illuminating the inner workings.

This requires a bit of bravery. You have to ask!

I ask for prayers from others. I also ask God to help me travel to the darkest places. See, I don't want to go there alone. And well, He wants to be there with me.

I also find some really prepared friends. You know, the ones who never leave home without a flashlight in tow. The ones who love truth. The ones who speak truth in love to me. The ones who know me so well they have super natural powers and can see through the walls (or, can see the strings I am stepping on). The ones who want me to soar!

I'm going to take a twist on the string/balloon analogy. I think my issues are like a balloon tied to a stuck string.

But I am like a kite.

I can only soar when someone is holding my string.

Someone who knows what they are doing. Someone who can get me to the right angle, under the right wind gust, and never let me go. Who knows what kind of tail (stuff) I need in what type of weather and helps me unload/let go of any extra stuff weighing me down.

But, letting go of the kite string means sure failure.

We need a tether to soar!

Now, go find a GREAT person, power, etc to hold your kite string!

ps. Thanks Spark friends for holding mine!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIXIED88 4/22/2010 10:45AM

    Love the way you took my blog and ran (err...flew?) with it! You are one gorgous kite and I just love to watch you soar. I might even have a flashlight you can borrow too! I can't walk with you in the inner you, but I can sure hold your string and tug you in the right direction!

#2 made me get a song stuck in my head:

I Like To Move It Move It
I Like To Move It Move It
I Like To Move It Move It
Ya Like To (MOVE IT!)


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CAALAN23 4/22/2010 9:26AM

    I love flying kites! Literally and figuratively!

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BUDRFLY31 4/22/2010 8:35AM

    I think we need a group (SP members) to hold many kite strings together, and the kites need to have hands to hold other kite strings. Our skies should be filled with groups of kites holding groups of kites, holding more groups of kites as far as the imagination can imagine. Now I am getting whacky! Thanks for the imagery. It is now imprinted in my brain and can be taken out whenever I want/need it.

Happy Earth Day!
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