Tuesday, March 02, 2010
So , I set a goal to be able to do 5 full-on, real, man-like, push-ups by the end of the month.
I DID IT!!!
Now, can I add 4 or 5 more to it by the end of March? I sure am gonna try!
Monday, March 01, 2010
Today, my baby was born, thirteen years ago. The 1997 Flood of Cincinnati. 25 hours of labor. 9 months of nurturing. 13 years of total love!
She is the BOMB! She loves art, creativity, writing, drawing... She is such a creative thinker that she often blows me away with her ideas and blank statements. She will go far in life!
We have so much fun together. We can joke and laugh at the stupidest things. I hope that we will always have that. It feels so final to me that she is no longer a kid. I know she's still young, but not a "kid". My little girl no longer exists. She is now a young lady. All hormones and emotions.
I hate knowing that she will be hurt. By boys, teachers, life. But I pray that the joys outnumber the pains. That she copes with it all with a positive attitude and a laugh at the ready. That she knows that I will always have love for her in my heart, no matter what happens. I also pray that she use the brains God gave her and not make too many bad choices. And, certainly not, any irreversible choices.
I'm not sure what the magic formula for raising a "trouble" free child looks like. But I hope love, discipline, care, respect, and more love are all a part of it. I hope I have built her self esteem to places it can sore. I hope I teach her that risk is worth some pain. That change is good. And that doing the right thing is always the right answer, even when it is hard to do. Truth will set you free.
I wish her a long life filled with joy, blessings, and love.
Friday, February 26, 2010
(I posted this on the Spark readers forum, but wanted to have it here too)
My 28 days was supposed to be about a reset. I've been on Sparkpeople for over a year and have lost, gained, lost again. I wanted to kick my hiney by following the 28 day challenge.
Several things have happened.
1. I found the book to be very thought provoking. Several topics I glanced over on-line, smacked me in the face in hand holding form.
2. The first topic of Ah-Ha moment was that of concrete goal setting. I really struggled to make them solid and measurable. I didn't feel comfortable at all. I wanted vague. I found that small goals are better for me than long term. At least for now...
3. Topic #2 was rewards. I have never followed through on rewarding myself in the past. I did this time. It felt really good. I have to keep this up!
4. I really failed at tracking during this 28 days. I was blindsided with an emotional challenge that I found myself focusing on far more than tracking. I have managed to maintain my 25 pound loss, but still have 35 pounds to go to my goal. I feel good about my emotional work. I feel like I had one of those "Biggest Loser" breakthroughs that really needed to happen. I just know the weight will start coming off soon.
5. I have made some steps outside of my comfort zone. ie. tomorrow I will be meeting one of my Spark buddies. She lives 3 hours away and is driving to me so we can have a "girly" day. This is soooo not like me. Yet, I find myself so incredibly excited. I haven't made a new friend in a long time. I love it!
6. I have other really good friends on here. I feel accountable and loved. This is BIG! My upbringing made me fearful of being accountable because there was no "safe place" to fall. Here, there is. the Spark community has been nothing but positive to me. You can't find many communities that you can say that about.
7. Finally--I had an idea that I would lose 2 pounds a week during this 28 days. That didn't happen. But I feel I was a success and that doing this was a success. Things didn't go as planned and I managed to not freak out. Not quit. Not run away. I found the strength to keep going. To make new challenges. To hold myself accountable. To be kind and loving to myself while I struggled. To be encouraging to others by looking beyond myself. To find new ways to measure success!
Thanks Spark! I love what this site, the book, the community have done and continue to do for me and everyone else.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
When you were a little baby, God outfitted you with some perfectly made fat pads. They were all over your body. They were there to protect you: From crawling over rough terrain; Being bounced on some big knees, From falling when you learned to walk. As you grew more confident in your bi-pedal habits, you lost that fabulous layer of fat.
When you were a young girl, your Mom said you'd never be a ballerina because you do not have the body for it. You found yourself hurt by this.
When you started blossoming, as girls do, some mean boys teased your body and pointed out how asymmetrical it looked.
After your "first love" dumped you for someone "more endowed"; you were really hurt and began your first unhealthy relationship with food. You lost a ton of weight. You started to get noticed by young men. You felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable. You began phase two of unhealthy relationship with food. You gained weight.
Eventually, you let love into your life again. But the damage had been done. You believed that no one could love your flawed body. Your flawed self. You never really let your husband "in". The relationship was doomed before it began. It ended.
You stopped believing anyone else was going to save you. You stared to realize that the fat you put on your body was not protecting you--but hurting you--from the inside out. You started working on this problem. You started to get healthy. Your mind. Your spirit. Your emotions.
You started to feel less vulnerable and wanted to get the fat of your body. You started working on that. You felt even better. You let someone new into your life.
You freaked. You gained back some weight. But you didn't run! You fought for yourself. You got back on the right path--and you brought him with you! You are so much healthier now.
You realized your Mom wasn't really saying your body was ugly or wrong--you later learned she was stressed and the family didn't have the money to pay for lessons, nor did your Mom have the energy to drive you around.
You are still friends with every single one of those boys who teased you. You realized that in "boy world" they were teasing you because they actually liked you. Today, they are all fine examples of loving men to their wives. You'd like to think that you had a hand at that gentile manliness they express. You grew up with those boys. You taught them a whole lot about girls and they taught you a whole lot about boys. I know I learned how a lady is to be treated, ironically enough, from them (they are old school gentlemen who bring flowers on dates, open doors, offer a hand, and walk a girl to her door at night--I loved being "in the know" of their dating lives).
You healed your relationship with your ex-husband. And you know that you were never meant to be together in the first place. You feel the same about that "first love" too.
Lately you've unearthed a whole new can of beans. But you are doing beautifully handling your emotions. You are not perfect, but you never fully give up anymore either.
You GET IT! You are moving in the right direction. You are lighter. You are love.
Thanks for being you.
All my love,
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
For 10 minutes a day I can:
make a healthy meal/snack
write a blog
paint my nails
tell myself I am worth it
do a Quick Fire challenge
ask for help
balance a check book
pick up some clutter
and so on and so on...
Just 10 minutes a day can transform my life.
Get An Email Alert Each Time STOPTHECRAVING Posts