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Belly Rubbing

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I have been so narcissistic this week. I keep stopping in front of the mirror and checking myself out! Especially my belly. I am finding myself more loving toward that big hunk of middle body. It's just getting so strong, so toned, so smaller(ish), so belly rubbingtastic. I do give it a little rub and tell it that I know it's been hurt and neglected--but I love it. I am doing it justice this week and beyond. I am working it's muscles, I am feeding it good nutrition, I am fitting it into more flattering clothes, and I am promising to keep doing this til the end of our days.

I haven't been to the library to get a belly dancing DVD, but I am going to see if I can request one to pick up on Saturday. I'm getting out my hula hoop and having a hooping good day today! (My cousin and her roommates were hula hoopers through college. They used to hold competitions in their apartment. After they all grew up and got married, one of them even video-ed herself hula hooping 9 months pregnant! That is where my love and awe of hula hooping started).

Have a belly rubbing, hula hooping kind of day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

USEANDLOSE 11/6/2009 5:34AM

    I love hula hooping! It's one of my favorite "play" exercises -it's pretty hard to spin a bright glittery hoop around your hips without giggling! I keep one behind the sofa so I can get a quick smile anytime I need one...tee hee... emoticon
I belly danced once - it was not pretty, but it was YEARS ago - maybe I'll try again...

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    The Wii Fit has a Hula Hoop game - I love it!! No real hula hoopsg involved, but let me tell you it sure feels like it!!! emoticon

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CAALAN23 11/5/2009 10:22AM

    Today is belly rubbingtastic! That's some serious body love! :D:D

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DIXIED88 11/5/2009 9:55AM

    Let me know how you like the belly dancing. I'm thinking I might follow your lead!

LOL at hula hooping. I did 10 minutes of advanced hula hoop on Wii Fit and my lower abs were screaming by the end. First time in forever that I knew they were there and awake. Very good pain. ;0)

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DREAMNSCHEME 11/5/2009 9:37AM

    What a great attitude!

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I feel the change/Friendship/self image

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

So, I've lost 16 pounds. I've moved my belts in a notch. I wore a pair of non-stretchy jeans all day yesterday (usually they choke my belly too much and I end up changing out of them). I have felt the soreness of my muscles. Muscles I didn't even know I had. But last night I really felt a difference in my body. I have lost 8 pounds in the last two weeks and have changed my workout routine within the last week. I swear, it's made a big difference. Anyway, last night was the first time in almost 2 weeks that I got to see my BF. We,, shall we say got intimate. And I could tell that I was thinner and stronger. I was a little freaked. It was such a great feeling! (um...that too-gutter minds, LOL) It's kind of strange to be with someone, and then change physically, and be with them again. It's like I'm becoming a new person. I do find myself reassuring my BF that I am not plotting to leave him when I am all svelte. He's the best guy I've ever dated. We can talk about anything freely. It's nice to be with someone that I feel so safe with and be SO myself with.

It has got me thinking. Have any of you struggled with relationships while losing weight? I have a best friend who seems quite content with her girth. She talks about her very obese sister all the time, and I think she feels good that she is not "that" fat, but doesn't what to change anything about herself. I worry about her stress. I just think that if she were to start a walking routine, she would feel so much better. But, I haven't been able to talk to her about it. Actually, she seems to have dropped of the face of the earth. I worry that she is feeling some resentment towards me. I will approach her about it--it just has to be done delicately.

I do have other friends who are incredibly supportive and motivating. It is occurring to me though, that I've always been the "heavy" friend to them. How can I change my own image of myself? How can I embrace the idea that I am just as attractive as any of them? I do believe that 'loving my body one part at a time' is helping to get me there. But somewhere along the lines I'm going to have to put it all together. I'm going to have to "own" the loss and become a 'skinny Jenn' (who ever that may be). Hmm....anyone got any advice here? Perhaps I'm putting the cart before the horse? Maybe this will all fall into place?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GONE2BEACH101 11/7/2009 8:20AM

    I am betting your best friend DOES struggle with being overweight but has no clue or more likely frightened that she can't lose, will not be able to enjoy the foods she has come to love and will feel hungry all the time, etc.

Maybe inviting her for short walks now and then?? She probably won't be able to go as far as can finish your walk later might help her.

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USEANDLOSE 11/6/2009 5:29AM

    Congratulations on your 16 pound loss - WooHoo! I've lost 16 also - and the crowd is a bit thinner here too (but then, so am I!). Those that are closest to me have been very supportive.
I've also made a new friend that is a fitness trainer (no, I don't hire her). She is a GREAT motivator when I need someone to push me - and she doesn't even know she's doing it. All I have to do is watch what how she lives. I doubt she's ever been overweight - but just being around her keeps me motivated!

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    Congrats on staying on track and your weight loss!! It's funny, how the crowd windels down as you continue to move forward. I remember how it was when I started exercising on a regular basis here at work and everyone wanted to jump on the band wagon. Now, when I look around for support at a time when I am waining, that wagon doesn't look so safe to some. I remind myself, that I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for me and push myself a little harder and just get out there and do it.

I'm lucky that my husband supports my weight loss and is my best supporter. He pushes me to get back on track everytime I faulter and helps remind me that we're in this together every day.

But I have also learned that I am my own best friend, as well as my SPARK Friends too - and even though we may not "hang out" with each other we are still our greatest support system and won't trade this for the world.

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DIXIED88 11/4/2009 2:30PM

    WOOHOO!! Ride 'em cowgirl!! emoticon

I struggle with the friend thing a bunch. Most of my close friends are larger than me or my size when I started. They tease and tempt me at times but they also compliement and give me their smaller clothes. I have had the rude comments like Buttercup's friend as well. But I've started saying "I want to be there to see my grandkids and he's only 2. I've got to live for quite a while." I say it with the conviction I feel inside and most of the time (if they are good friends), they get it. That's also when I get the "I'm so proud of you".

I'm right there with you on seeing myself as other may though. I really think the body part love has helped more than anything else I've done. I'm looking foeward to becoming the strong healthy Crystal (that just happens to be thin as a side effect!).

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CAALAN23 11/4/2009 12:22PM

    Ooo, I've always loved realizations and epiphanies, especially intimate ones! *waggles eyebrows*

I tried to make a health pact with my family the last time I lost weight. The fact that they blew it off so completely was one of the reasons I ended up giving up. It is very hurtful for them to downplay or criticize what your are accomplishing.

Just remember that is does come from fear and resentment. All I can say is reassure them that the love in your heart will not shrink with your shirt size and maybe they will be more open to your changes. Maybe even to the point of wanting to join you.

As for owning your new size, I've got bupkis, cause I'm kind of that way myself. Let me know what others give you on that, LOL!

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BUTTERCUP76 11/4/2009 12:08PM

    As to advice on the "not so skinny friends", I have a hard time with this too. My best friend is bigger she's probably a size 20 pants and she is not very encouraging when it comes to my weight loss. Just last night she said to me (with a little bit of an attitude) So how much weight are you gonna loose? and What are you gonna do when you loose the weight? and You can't diet forever!
I really wanted to scream at her, instead I just said I plan to loose 18 to 20 pounds more. and when I get there I will just have to maintain it. Then I told her I really don't feel like I am on a diet. Her response to that was, As long as you are counting calories it's a diet.
At that point I just had to blow her off and move on to something else cause her non-support was really making me upset.
So I really can't help except for to say, we (your spark friends) will always be there to support you in every way. I am so thankful for my spark friends! So a big THANK YOU to you!

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HARVESTMOM 11/4/2009 10:45AM

    congrats on your weight loss - that is fantastic!

and no, i don't think you are putting the cart before the horse - i've been there before - in my late 20's i lost 40 pounds - kept them off for 10 years before having children and now trying to lose them again. one thing that losing and gaining it back has taught me is that i don't think i ever really believed that i was 135 pounds - when i look back on the clothes i wore then i think - wow, i never thought of myself as the fit, trim person i really was.

so this time around i am taking stock along the way. i take pictures of my progress and celebrate the little milestones - i throw out the bigger clothes and wear clothes that fit me now - i'm hoping that i'll slowly get adjusted to the smaller me along the way and have a better true body image when i reach my goal....

i think it's great that you are thinking of these things now ! and great job on the weight loss - i know how much work it is!

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PATRISNA 11/4/2009 9:57AM

    Congratulations on your weight loss.That is wonderful. I hope your BF is supportive. I also hope your other friends support you and give you cheers as you succeed.

I am seeing a new me also. My husband is very supportive. He and I are doing this together. I think he wonders about my using the SP site. He is not using SP.

There are a lot of people who do not get the support they need. When we started the nutrition classes the room was full. The second class all the men except my husband had dropped out. A lot of the women say their partners and family are not supportive.

Best wishes to you emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/4/2009 9:58:20 AM

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Fantasy Outfit and reality outfit

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Okay, so ...In my head I dream about wearing a particular outfit when I am skinny. This is probably not a common fantasy outfit. It's a little boring. But I want to be the woman in my dream. I want to fit into a skinny pair of dark jeans; have a black belt upon my thin waist; killer black boots upon my feet; and have a crisp white t-shirt TUCKED IN. I don't know why this is my fantasy--but it is.

Reality outfit is a dress that I bought many moons ago. I was young. Not married. No kid. This dress is so awesome--it's practically the only "skinny" clothes I still have laying around. The rest have long been given away in fat frustration and hopelessness. But that dress--it still holds some hope. When I bought it, I was loving the 20's and the 60's. The dress is a nice mesh of 20's flapper girl meets 60's twisting queen. It is black. It is actually not a flapper style. It is more a Brenda Walsh (90210) goes to Homecoming style. It is short, scoop necked, but loaded with the 20's/60's fringe! I LOVE me some fringe! At the time I was probably a 36 C, 135, and a size 10/12. The dress was a size 9-10. I figured it was not meant to be--but my friend encouraged me to try it on. After all it was massively on sale! I went ahead and reluctantly tried it on. Well, reserved, little 'ol me actually screamed in the dressing room. Big whoops could be heard through out the store! Holy Cow Patties! It fit like it had been sewn for ME!!! I loved that dress. I wore that dress with such energy. I wanted to be swept off mt feet in that dress. I wanted to be a great dancer in that dress. I wanted to be wined and dined in that dress. Alas, that never happened. No guy fell in love with me in that dress, dancing skills do not suddenly appear because of a dress, none of my suitors at that time had any money to wine nor dine. But, I still have that dress. I still hold hope. I know it's a long shot, but I would love to be able to wear that dress again. And twist the night away with my happy self.

I'm stepping closer to that goal. My waist is down another 2 inches and my hips are down 1 more. I lost 5 pounds this week. I am a little reluctant to do a happy dance about that because I think it has to do with the high blood pressure pills I started taking. They have a salt removing aspect that I think has flushed water put of my system. But I also changed my exercise routine this past week. I guess time will tell...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY_DYNAMITE 11/4/2009 11:57AM

    *wolf whistle*

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BUTTERCUP76 11/4/2009 11:44AM

    I love the confidence that you have in the comment below. Because I KNOW you will do it!

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SUZY6281 11/3/2009 2:52PM

    Congratulations on the 5 pound loss!!!


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STOPTHECRAVING 11/3/2009 11:01AM

    Okay, okay okay.


emoticon emoticon emoticon

I will win the Biggest Loser Contest! I will keep up the GREAT WORK!
I am encouraged by this loss!!!!

Thanks for all your ENCOURAGEMENT! Keep it coming!

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DIXIED88 11/3/2009 10:40AM

    OOoooh! I have this mental image of you in the dress dancing your heart out and being swept off your feet by some rich prince. emoticon Can't wait to see you in it....and you will be in it!

WOOHOO for healthy choices taking off poundage!

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CAALAN23 11/3/2009 10:08AM

    WooHOO for awesome goal clothes, new or old! Sounds like an incredible dress; something to strive for!

FANTASTIC on the 5 lb loss! Who cares if it was from the meds if it stays gone! Just another healthy choice you made! Find you some fringe, and do that happy dance, chica!

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DEBINNY 11/3/2009 8:17AM

    The dress sounds fabulous! It feels great to fit into skinny favorites. Once again, you've inspired me. Thanks.

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LINDACHRISTIE 11/3/2009 7:52AM

    You can do this.

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    Keep the Faith! You are doing great!

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PASTORJEFF2 11/3/2009 7:32AM

    Be encouraged, yes the 5 pound loss may be decieving but some of it is real weight loss and that is progress. Fix your eyes on small steps and before you know it that dress will not only fit but will be to big for you and you will just have to find another. You can do it!!!

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Jelly Belly

Monday, November 02, 2009

I do solemnly swear that I, Jenn Snyder, will do my best to love my belly this week!

First, I must say that I have never had a "flat" tummy. I have always had what I have affectionately called "the pooch". Even pre-baby I had a pooch. It is the area where I have the most excess. It has scars from gallbladder surgery, stretch marks from birthing a baby, and stretch marks from the a fore mentioned excess. I have an "innie" which, with such excess, has become more of a bottomless pit.

I find it interesting that the belly is the most sensitive area (ie. ticklish). This is probably due to survival, as the belly is the most vulnerable area on the body. Nothing protects it. It is the area on my body I least enjoy having touched. I reflexively pull in when someone tries to touch my waste/belly.

I have had my brave moments with my belly. The kids I watch don't care how big it is and often tickle me or ask to see my bellybutton. I also went through a phase of doing belly bumps like Jack and Karen from Will and Grace. I even sported a bikini while tanning in the privacy of my back yard while in high school.

I hold this weight like a weight. It's like it is waiting. It needs me to make some tough emotional correlations before it will become acceptably smaller. Last night I had my first break through. I was hopelessly awake at 3am and found myself thinking about my Dad. He passed away when I was 18 suddenly of a brain anyerisum (I can't figure out the correct spelling of this word). He was a short in stature, hold your weight in your belly, emotional time bomb kind of guy. I favor him in my weight distribution and stature. I just got on blood pressure medication, just like he was on. I have had my emotional time bomb moments. I worked a lot of stuff out in therapy. I'm proud that I finally did the right thing for myself medically. I am proud that I am finally leading a healthy life. But I still found myself thinking about him last night. And, I found myself unbelievably hungry. I thought about going and getting a snack-but stopped myself. A random thought came to me. I wasn't hungry for food. I was hungry for the love of a father. Almost as quickly as the thought entered my head, my hunger pangs went away. I am a believer. I prayed at that moment and thanked God for being the unconditional father I need. I prayed that He help me shed the weight and help me work through the problems I am holding on to.

I think I'll give belly dancing a try this week. Hula hooping. Buddah belly rubbing. Gently and tenderly being patient for my love to grow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTTERCUP76 11/2/2009 2:46PM

    Way to go realizing what you really craved, NOT food!
This makes me so proud of you!

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DIXIED88 11/2/2009 10:31AM

    Love this blog! Way to work through an emotional moment without reaching for munchies.

I've always wanted to try belly dancing. Just haven't actually done it. Heard it's the best for losing "baby belly".


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CAALAN23 11/2/2009 9:07AM

    Great job on realizing one of your emotional triggers. Take care of yourself this week, sometimes realizing those things can be so draining too.

I often ask myself if I would trade that belly of mine for what it gave me, and I'd have to say it's a resounding NO!

Ooooo, Buddah belly rubbin', I'm in! LOL!

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    It's good that you are cognoscente enough of your issues to correlate your emotions and your emotional eating to better curb your appetite.

Keep up the good fight. Faith is a strong motivator.

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Warning! Whiner!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I'm sick. Head cold with horrible cough. I always try to be in total denial of these things. I simply can't be sick. Then it gets to the point where I must admit defeat. Crawl under the covers on the couch. Eat Lipton Chicken Noodle soup. Watch terrible amounts of crappy tv. And feel pity for my poor sick self. I am gonna go take a nap now. Will someone please tell me not to worry about my exercise, calories and sodium for one day? Thanks. Hugs, Jenn

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTTERCUP76 11/2/2009 2:41PM

    Hope your feeling better!

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TTLEELEE 11/1/2009 8:53PM

    Rest, drink lots of liquids and do not worry. Take care of your health so that you can get good and healthy!! emoticon

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LIMELITESHINES 10/31/2009 8:40PM

    You'll be ok with taking a few rest days to let your body heal. Then you can come back stronger and ready to take more challenges. It can be just as good for your mental health as well as your physical health to take those few days to heal. And worry not about the chicken soup. It's good for you. That sodium will help you get the liquids you need to flush out all the bad stuff! Then, when you're back to it . . . that sodium will go away. So don't you worry. :)

Feel better soon!


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MOMMA_BEAR_69 10/31/2009 7:41PM

    Take care of yourself...the chicken soup will make you feel better. Just take care of yourself and tomorrow the rest will fall back into place. Feel better real soon.
Blessings and hugs,

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COLEENCOLE 10/31/2009 7:08PM

    You may be high on the sodium, but you will be way low on the cals with that soup. Maybe you can lose weight while sick despite not w/o. emoticon

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BUSYMOM22 10/31/2009 6:37PM

    Take good care of yourself! :)

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DIXIED88 10/31/2009 4:52PM

    It's comfort Jenn time. I order you to eat soup, lay around, maybe take a hot bath, and completely ignore that voice that tells you to feel guilty about it. Being sick is horrible. Don't forget your vitamins!!


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CAALAN23 10/31/2009 2:53PM

    Don't worry about any of that, just feel better. Take care of yourself!


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LADYM_04 10/31/2009 2:26PM

  Being sick is no fun! Whether you have a million things to do for the day or just one main goal being sick always gets in the way. I bet it is time for you to have a day off and take care of yourself. Maybe it's your body's way of saying don't forget about you. I hope that you feel better soon. Take care and get some rest!!

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