Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My child... I love her, yet, she can make me so angry! I feel I do my part as a parent. I remind her to do her chores, she acknowledges that I have reminded her--then she doesn't do them! This morning I discovered (as I was going downstairs to retrieve my new exercise ball that she stole from me yesterday--and I asked her 3 times to please bring it back upstairs) that she hasn't scooped the litter box for FOUR days! I have TWO cats! I found poop on the laundry room floor! YUCK! Not a great way to start a day.
I am so sick of having to remind her to do her chores--but now I am livid that she hasn't been doing them! She has very few things I ask her to do. Litter box everyday, put away the clean dishes from the dish washer when it has been run, put away the clean and folded clothes that are hers, and very occasionally I ask her to sweep, mop, vacuum, or wipe down the kitchen table. Seriously, she has had the job of litter scooper for at least 5 years now--Why is this not a habit with her???
I HATE being a single parent! I HATE being a disciplinarian! I know it has to be done. I just hate dealing with a sullen pre-teen and with my own feelings surrounding it. I hate being angry at her. I hate feeling disappointed by her. I hate feeling like she let me down. Then my mind wanders to what have I done wrong? Why can't my child just do this? Why does she do wrong? Am I failing her in some way? Why can't I do better?
Geeze, this really sucks. Parenting is HARD work. It does have it's rewards. And I know that if I've done it correctly my child will be a happy, healthy, independent woman. It's just that sometimes it's really difficult to tell if I am doing the right things to get her there.
I need a hug!