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12 year old daughters can make me sooooo angry!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My child... I love her, yet, she can make me so angry! I feel I do my part as a parent. I remind her to do her chores, she acknowledges that I have reminded her--then she doesn't do them! This morning I discovered (as I was going downstairs to retrieve my new exercise ball that she stole from me yesterday--and I asked her 3 times to please bring it back upstairs) that she hasn't scooped the litter box for FOUR days! I have TWO cats! I found poop on the laundry room floor! YUCK! Not a great way to start a day.

I am so sick of having to remind her to do her chores--but now I am livid that she hasn't been doing them! She has very few things I ask her to do. Litter box everyday, put away the clean dishes from the dish washer when it has been run, put away the clean and folded clothes that are hers, and very occasionally I ask her to sweep, mop, vacuum, or wipe down the kitchen table. Seriously, she has had the job of litter scooper for at least 5 years now--Why is this not a habit with her???

I HATE being a single parent! I HATE being a disciplinarian! I know it has to be done. I just hate dealing with a sullen pre-teen and with my own feelings surrounding it. I hate being angry at her. I hate feeling disappointed by her. I hate feeling like she let me down. Then my mind wanders to what have I done wrong? Why can't my child just do this? Why does she do wrong? Am I failing her in some way? Why can't I do better?

Geeze, this really sucks. Parenting is HARD work. It does have it's rewards. And I know that if I've done it correctly my child will be a happy, healthy, independent woman. It's just that sometimes it's really difficult to tell if I am doing the right things to get her there.

I need a hug!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JURI62 10/14/2009 6:22PM

    emoticon I can so relate, not only do I have the daughter, I have a new son by marriage who at 19 has no clue how to pick up after himself...it is causing a lot of tension. Try to remember (and I will too..lol) "This too shall pass"

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KOLESLAW69 10/13/2009 7:25PM

    YOU'VE JUST BEEN HUGGED!!! The blog you wrote could be me except change the gender of the child. I can identify with you 100 %. My son has a much younger brother to pick on, though. I swear I will turn completely gray before long. Hang in there sweetie! It is a never ending battle. Some days I think he's making progress and then WHAM! The aliens come along with a remote control and change his channel! LOL
Karen

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BUTTERCUP76 10/13/2009 1:13PM

    WOW, I can so relate to this one. I as well have that same 12 year old (girl) child!!! It is hard, but also rewarding. You have done nothing wrong, she is just a typical 12 year old girl. I know it seems hard to deal with at times, I have it times 4! I have had numerous issues of laziness (that's what I call it) with my two older kids, they are at ages that they know better. I sometimes handle it well, and then there are times I look back at and realize I flew off the handle. I sometimes find myself apologizing, but I always follow it up with an explanation as to why they would had not been in front of the firing squad if they would had just done as they had been asked in the first place. So your feelings are completely normal. I put a tasks list on the front of the fridge and tell them if they have any expectations of having fun with friends this weekend than they need to do what is expected of them. Seeing it on paper everyday as a reminder I think helps.
So catch your breath, cause she's almost a teenager and the fun has just begun! LOL (Mine turns 13 in 12 days!)
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CAALAN23 10/13/2009 9:53AM

    I feel for you. I dread the next few years in regards to that. He's already horrible about remembering homework and getting him to clean his room is like asking him to do some monumental task.

My mother gave me some great advice about raising kids, especially regarding your feelings about doing better. She said it's not a matter of doing better but doing different. Every kid will respond differently to parenting and the hardest part is finding what clicks with them.

Hopefully, I'll remember that when mine hits his teens. *shivers*

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DIXIED88 10/13/2009 9:51AM

    emoticon Parenting is the hardest job in the world. But you are a great Mother and your daughter is just testing her limits. Just keep on keeping on! One day she will look back and be thankful you stayed on her and made her into a good woman.

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TIMEFORVACATION 10/13/2009 8:20AM

    Sorry, what a rough start. Pre-teen and teenage years are not the most fun. I think it'll only get worse for us. God help us.

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GABBIE00 10/13/2009 7:59AM

    oh it has just started.it gets worst before it gets better.good luck

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GRAMSIECAKES2 10/13/2009 7:50AM

    I feel for you. I know it has to be hard as a single parent!! I know our son is a single parent too. When they were home here visiting this summer our DGD is 18. When she went and stomped her feet and went into her room, our son had her come back and talk with him. He had her sit facing him with their knees touching. Then he told her to tell him why she was stomping her feet. It was all because she wanted to go to the show. He has a very good about talking with her and she telling him her feelings. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes out of a day to just listen to her. Or maybe even make a certain time of day maybe about 30 minutes that she can actually tell her about her day and you just listen...no comments from you at all...just be patient and listen....that might be all she wants...God bless...Merri

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New Bras and Panties

Monday, October 12, 2009

The body part I am loving this week is my tush! And, since my awesome BF gave me a healthy gift card to Lane Bryant--I got myself some new panties for my fabulous newly firm derriere! But, I also had to get bras to go with new panties... What's really cool about LB is that if they don't have your size in the store they will order it for you free shipping, but it comes to your door! And if the order is wrong, you can return it to the store--no need to ship it back!

I sound like an add for Lane Bryant. I just thought it was cool. they never seem to have my size bra in the color I want.

Now I must go do my wii fit workout. Don't you dare stop me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTTERCUP76 10/13/2009 1:16PM

    My your upcoming days be filled with comfort and warmth! LOL
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CAALAN23 10/12/2009 11:08PM

    WooHOO for new undies!

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Point of failure/Natural Wuss/Just DO!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I liked this article:

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness
_articles.asp?id=290


I don't always "go the distance" or push myself to "the point of failure". I'm a natural wuss! But I am working to overcome this natural tendency. I have been pushing myself to walk farther and harder/faster. I've joined the Wii Fit Challenge team and now I am doing more of the exercises on a more advanced level. I try really hard to do 15 reps instead of 12. I do find myself collapsing at the end. But guess what? I can do it! And I feel GREAT for doing it!

Now if I could just remember all that BEFORE I do the workout (sometimes my get up and go--goes!) Sometimes I find it really hard to just do. But, that will now be my challenge this week--JUST DO!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAALAN23 10/11/2009 8:07PM

    There are some exercises that I can't even do 12 reps of. Push ups being one of them. I'm working up to that by doing the bench exercises to exhaustion first. JUST DO is a good plan. :)

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Control

Friday, October 09, 2009

I swipped this from dailyspark blog about healthy eating habits (Thanks JAPETE05)
10/8/2009
2:12:48 PM

"I agree that eating, sleeping and exercise are the best ways to combat stress. And afterall that's what we have the most control over anyway!"

So many times we allow excuses to rule our lives. We try to trick ourselves into believing that it is the excuses that prevent us from doing our healthy stuff. But we control allowing that to happen. We are always the ones in control of what we do or don't do. Life is filled with obstacles that we don't have control over, but how many times do we find ourselves sitting on the couch munching away at crap because the day was just too bad? We made the choice to sit and eat; rather than move. There are always better choices. And, which makes us feel better? A workout or a sit out? Rest is important, when following exercise. The best things for us may take some work--but in the long run we'll be so much happier for doing the work--and taking ownership of the control!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTTERCUP76 10/9/2009 11:36AM

    This was always a problem for me to, it was excuse after excuse. It I opened up my eyes 15 weeks ago and said that enough was enough and I was done making excuses. I wanted to loose weight and feel better. And here I am at today's weigh-in 30 pounds lighter! When I stepped on that scale and looked at that number I started to cry, I can't believe what I have accomplished! Thanks to you and all me other spark friends for your support and motivation and giving me that kick in the butt when I needed it!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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It's my Birthday!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Thirty nine years have gone by. This body has seen a lot. I was thin as a kid. Thought I was not in High School (but in retrospect-I was. Just not stick thin). I went on a week long backpacking trip to the Smokey Mountains when I was in college. Good times! Then I became a community theater junkie. I partied all the time. Started to put on weight. Got married. Put on a little more weight. Had a child, little more weight. And I have continued to slowly put on a few pounds since then.

The past two weeks (getting back on track) has taught me that i can do this. I want to do this. I will be on track to steadily lose pounds; and that this time next year I will be proud to say I weigh less than I did the year before! I love the way I am feeling. I feel stronger. I have more energy. I am less moody (if I get enough fat into my diet). I am getting thinner. My mind is stronger too. I am glad to have faced my inner critic; and know that I will continue to do so. I also know that I can and will ask for help when needed.

Most of all, I am glad to have support from family, friends, and on-line folks. I am glad that I am not alone. I am glad that I am!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIMEFORVACATION 10/13/2009 8:26AM

    Happy belated birthday to you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMONTOYA 10/8/2009 12:55PM

    Have a wonderful B-day and keep coming down.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BUTTERCUP76 10/8/2009 11:42AM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYSONG50 10/8/2009 10:56AM

    Happy Birthday!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VEGAN46 10/8/2009 10:30AM

    HA PPY BIRTHDAY LADY!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRAYDANCRUNLOVE 10/8/2009 10:22AM

    Happy birthday to you! emoticon

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DIXIED88 10/8/2009 10:17AM

    Have a wonderful birthday! emoticon Enjoy yourself in moderation. emoticon

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KIMBERLEY145 10/8/2009 9:57AM

    Have a great day! emoticon

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HOPEFULLYLIGHT 10/8/2009 9:49AM

    Happy Birthday!! emoticon

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HOPEFULLYLIGHT 10/8/2009 9:49AM

    Happy Birthday!! emoticon

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RAINMOM54 10/8/2009 9:47AM

    ~*Happy Birthday TooOOOoOOo You!!!! ~*sMiLe*~

It's My Baby son B day Today Too He's 32.....


God Bless you Have A GrEaT Day!!! emoticon



~*Patty*~

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