Wednesday, September 10, 2014
I GET BORED QUITE EASILY. BEING MARRIED TO THE MAN THAT I AM, THAT SHOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE AS HE IS TRULY UNIQUE UNTO HIMSELF. THANK THE LORD ABOVE THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE OF HIM BECAUSE THE WORLD COULDN'T TAKE TWO. AND I'M SURE, TO HIM, I MUST BE A FREAK OF NATURE AS WELL. NOT ONLY DO I HAVE THIS STRANGE BODY THAT DOESN'T LIKE ME MUCH; BUT I AM ALSO A NEAT FREAK! GOOD HEAVENS - I EVEN WASH THE VEGETABLES THAT I BUY AT THE STORE! HE THINKS THAT IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS.
HE HAS BEEN OFF WORK NOW FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AND MAKING ME BERSERK. MY KIDS DID THIS WHEN THEY WERE SMALL. SO I CAME UP WITH A "CHART" FOR THEM. IT WAS A DRY ERASE BOARD THAT I COULD CHANGE AT WILL. I TRIED TO USE SEASONAL THINGS FOR THEM. MAYBE ONE DAY WOULD SAY, "GO FOR A SWIM" OR ON ANOTHER DAY IT MAY BE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS "DON'T KILL YOUR SISTER - THE LAW FROWNS ON THAT."
I DIDN'T WANT TO REFER TO IT AS A CHORE CHART BUT WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN ADULT, IT'S HARDER TO COME UP WITH NEW THINGS TO TRY. OMW! (OH MY WORD)! IT WAS FAR WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. HE IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT IS NOT TERRIBLY HANDY AROUND THE HOUSE. SO ONE OF THE CHORES I GAVE HIM TO DO WAS TO SWEEP OUT THE GARAGE. EASY PEASY, RIGHT? WRONG! I PUT NAILS IN THE 2X4'S TO HANG OUR LADDER ON. SOMEHOW HE MANAGED TO KNOCK THIS OFF AND THROUGH OUR ONE AND ONLY GARAGE WINDOW! WE DO LIVE IN A 55 PLUS CONDO COMPLEX BUT ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN UNITS AS WELL AS THE GARAGES.
SO THAT RESULTED IN NOW SWEEPING UP BROKEN GLASS WITH A STORM COMING IN LAST NIGHT. REPLACE THE GLASS QUICKLY. SILLY GIRL! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. TAKING OUT THE WINDOW FRAME RESULTED IN A SLICE TO HIS HAND THAT REQUIRED 4 STITCHES. THEY KNOW US AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM ON A FIRST NAME BASIS. WHEN IT'S FOR HIM, THEY KNOW HE WAS TRYING TO DO A "CHORE" AGAIN.
SO TODAY, SINCE I KNEW I WOULD BE BUSY AND IT IS RAINING, I SIMPLY WROTE DOWN TO BACK THE CAR OUT IN THE RAIN. PUT ON A DISPOSABLE GLOVE OVER YOUR SORE HAND AND WIPE DOWN THE CAR WITH AN OLD TOWEL SO IT IS CLEAN WHEN WE GO TO HIS BROTHER'S TONIGHT. HE PUT THE GLOVE ON THE WRONG HAND! NOW HE IS COMPLAINING THAT I WAS MEAN TO MAKE HIS BAD HAND HURT!
I THINK I NEED TO TAKE A CLASS IN "REMEDIAL HUSBAND 101". THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING SIMPLE HE CAN DO OTHER THAN WATCH TV. IF THAT IS ALL HE CAN DO, I MAY HAVE TO BUY HIM HEAD PHONES TO PRESERVE BOTH OF OUR SANITY. BUT I SURE COULD USE THE HELP OF A STRONG GUY AROUND HERE. OK! I WILL SETTLE FOR A MIDDLE AGED SEMI-STRONG GUY. ALL RIGHT ALREADY! I'LL TAKE A SMALL BOY WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE. YIKES!
Sunday, August 24, 2014
I'm sure you have all had those times when things around you are changing so fast that you just can't seem to catch up. Well, that is the story of my life lately.
First there was the accident. I got through it and have adjusted the best that I can. Yes, there will be some things that I just can't do any more. So what? Should I sit back and cry about it? Sounds pretty boring to me. Besides, I am way to hyper to just sit - period! But then we had another big change.
I have been dreading the day my husband retires. He is 72 and, up until 7/31/14, was still working full time. Since he managed his own business, he never planned to retire. His pace is very slow and he spends most of his time behind a desk. So why should he retire? He loves what he does - or did - and had no intention of ever leaving. But something weird and totally out of the blue happened. A rather new employee started buying up stock on the outside and enacted what is known as a "hostile takeover".
Holy Jupiter! Where did that come from? And his first job as the "new owner" was to fire dh!
Now I know I complain about him a lot. But this was just wrong on so many levels. In fact, any one 50 years old or more, was let go! HMMMMM ...... Do I smell discrimination here? He has owned that business for over 50 years and he walked in the door with everything that had been in his desk, in a box. He went to get the rest the next day and the locks had been changed! He couldn't even get into his own office!
To make a long story short, there is a class action lawsuit in process and I really can't say any more since we are all under a gag order. So where am I going with this?
I am a super organized, major type A, OCD person and proud of it. DH, as we all know, is the exact opposite. But the poor guy is like a duck out of water. He really doesn't have any guy friends - he worked 10 hours a day, ate, and then slept. Boring yes, but after 20 years of that, I was very accustomed to it. Now I find myself trying to come up with things for him to do where he can't cause too much damage.
He has no interest in learning how to cook. He refuses to spend the movie to go to a movie.
He plays no sports. What does he do? He watches FOX news 24/7. Yup! My quiet house (I never, ever, turn on day time TV) is now filled with the constant repetition of the same news stories and I am finding them to be very slanted in one direction. I want to pull my hair out and go running into the street screaming "pull out all of the cable lines - I can't take it any more".
But of course, that isn't going to happen.
So I now have this new "appendage" that follows me closer than my own shadow. I turn around and trip over him - several times a day. The sum total of the jobs that he has agreed to do for me is that he now empties the dishwasher. That's it!
I truly think he is going through a form of depression and definitely some shock. So I am really trying not to lose my temper with him. But today I decided to clean out our storage area. It is really a good size area - about 8 X 8 - and we also have a one car garage with lots of storage. The one and only thing in the entire storage room that I can claim as mine, was a box of good clothing that I have saved for a year just in case I re-gained the weight. That went to the local mission today. The only other item in there that we both use is our Christmas tree. EVERYTHING ELSE IN THERE IS HIS! And 95% of it is junk. I called him into the storage room and showed him everything. His reaction? "I know". Does he really need 3 huge boxes of 8 mm movies that his Grandmother took - none of which are labeled? How about the box ( and I weighed this one) that holds 31 pounds of maps from all over the USA.
He can't find his way across town but he may need these maps some day.
God help me! No one else will! I fear for my sanity. And now he has decided - since I am being so nice to him, that he MAY allow me to sleep in the same room with him again. You're kidding, right? WHERE? He rarely finds room to sleep in his own bed. It is piled with papers, boxes and dirty clothes.
Since this has gotten somewhat lengthy, I will depart. Please keep my mental well being in your prayers. Everything my body has gone through, I can handle. But I'm not sure I can survive his retirement.
Monday, August 04, 2014
YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING. LIFE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LET A PERSON BE. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE I KNOW HAS LIVES THAT ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING. YOU EITHER ADAPT OR LET IT GET THE BETTER OF YOU AND END UP A BITTER, NASTY PERSON. FAR TOO MANY TIMES I HAVE FALLEN INTO THAT CATEGORY. BUT RIGHT NOW, I HAVE TO PLAY NICE OR I WILL GO NUTS.
I HAVE HAD ALL THESE MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES AFTER BEING RUN OVER BY A CAR. DH DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH WHINING ABOUT IT. HE JUST TRASHED THE HOUSE - WHICH IS PAR FOR THE COURSE WITH HIM. I USED TO JUST FOLLOW BEHIND LIKE A PUPPY AND CLEAN IT UP. BUT, WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR NECK LIKE I DID, YOU FIND YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. WHETHER OR NOT I WILL EVER BE THE SAME REMAINS TO BE SEEN. BUT I HAVE FOUND THAT YOUR CENTER OF GRAVITY CHANGES WHEN YOU CAN'T BEND OVER WITHOUT BENDING YOUR NECK. I TIP OVER VERY EASILY. DH THINKS THIS IS A RIOT AND IS CONSTANTLY LEAVING THINGS IN MY PATH. STINKER!
BUT NOW, HE HAS HIS OWN ISSUES.
WITH NO WARNING AT ALL, LAST THURSDAY, HE WAS TOLD THAT HE WILL NO LONGER BE NEEDED AT HIS JOB. NO SEVERANCE PAY, NO REASON - JUST OUT AND TURN IN YOUR KEYS. WHAT THE HECK? SO HERE HE COMES HOME WITH A WHOLE PICK-UP TRUCK FULL OF YET MORE JUNK TO PUT IN HIS ROOM! YIKES! HE HAS A FULL BED AND CAN ONLY SLEEP ON A THIRD OF IT BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THE ROOM THERE IS. AND NOW HE HAS YET MORE STUFF?
I SUGGESTED GETTING SOME SHELVING FOR THE GARAGE AND STORING THE WORTHWHILE STUFF OUT THERE. AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH WITH 7 COMPUTERS IN THE HOUSE, HE NOW BROUGHT HOME 4 MORE! HIS ROOM LOOKS LIKE MISSION CONTROL. I THINK HE COULD LAND THE SPACE SHUTTLE WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENT HE HAS IN THAT ROOM. AND THAT ZIP LINE THAT I ONCE TALKED ABOUT? WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I MAY JUST HAVE TO DO IT. BUT WITH MY NECK NOT OPERATING LIKE IT SHOULD, I WOULD PROBABLY CRASH INTO THE WALL AND BREAK MY FACE TO MATCH MY BROKEN NECK!
MY BIGGEST ISSUE IS THAT THE POOR GUY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF SO HE FOLLOWS ME AROUND ALL DAY. I HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME NOT TRIPPING OVER THINGS AND THEN I TURN AROUND AND STEP ON HIM. HE PLAYS NO SPORTS AND DOESN'T ENJOY WATCHING THEM ON TV. SO WHAT HAS HE BEEN DOING INSTEAD OF CLEANING THE JUNK OUT OF HIS ROOM? HE HAS BEEN LISTENING TO MY OLD TAPES FROM BACK WHEN I HAD MY BAND. OMG! WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2014! THAT WAS MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WILD. I SANG THOSE SONGS SO MUCH THAT I AM SICK OF THEM. AH WELL! WE ALL HAVE ADJUSTMENTS TO MAKE.
I ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD INTENDED TO DO WHEN HE RETIRED. HIS ANSWER? "I NEVER PLANNED TO RETIRE - I THOUGHT I'D DIE ON THE JOB." WOW! NOW THAT'S DEDICATION.
Monday, July 21, 2014
I HAVE A NEW UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR. SHE SEEMS TO BE A VERY NICE PERSON, BUT SHE HAD ALL WOOD FLOORS PUT IN HER PLACE BEFORE SHE MOVED IN. ALTHOUGH SHE IS OF NORMAL SIZE, SHE WALKS LIKE AN ELEPHANT. DH AND I HAVE TAKEN TO CALLING HER "BIGFOOT".
ORDINARILY, THIS WOULD NOT BE A BIG PROBLEM - WE WOULD GET USED TO THE SOUND OF HER LOUD WALKING AND JUST LIVE WITH IT. BUT! EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, SHE HAS HER GRANDKIDS FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND AND NOW SHE HAS THEM FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER. THESE KIDS RUN FROM ONE END OF THE CONDO TO THE OTHER - NON STOP - ALL DAY. WHEN THEY ARE NOT RUNNING, THEY ARE JUMPING OFF THE COUCH TO SEE WHO CAN JUMP THE FARTHEST. WHEN THEY GO OUT ON THE BALCONY, THEY HANG OVER THE RAILING TO SEE WHO CAN GET DOWN THE FARTHEST. THIS IS FROM THE 4TH FLOOR. SHOULD ONE OF THEM FALL, THERE WOULD BE CERTAIN INJURY, IF NOT DEATH.
I HAVE SPOKEN TO HER 5 TIMES ABOUT THE NOISE. IT DIDN'T HELP. SHE SAYS THERE IS NOTHING FOR THE KIDS TO DO IF THEY JUST SIT AROUND. HOW ABOUT BOARD GAMES OR A NICE KIDS MOVIE ON TV OR IN THE DVD PLAYER OR VCR? SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THEM. SHE IS SOME OFF THE WALL RELIGION THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN TV.
AFTER GETTING NO RESULTS FROM HER, I SPOKE TO MANAGEMENT - 3 TIMES. THEY IN TURN, TALKED TO HER. STILL THE NOISE CONTINUES. SO I LOOKED UP THE CHARTER IN OUR CONDO BY-LAWS AND FOUND THAT WE HAVE A "NUISANCE ORDINANCE". THIS IS A 55+ CONDO COMMUNITY. MANY OTHER PEOPLE KEEP THEIR GRANDKIDS BUT NONE OF THEM ARE AS DISRUPTIVE AS THESE 4 ARE. WHY? THEY TAKE THEM OUT TO PLAY OR TO THE PARK DOWN THE STREET. SOME EVEN HAVE A SMALL POOL FOR THEM TO SPLASH IN. NO ONE IS DISTURBED BY THESE OTHER KIDS.
SO I WENT TO THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS FOR THE CONDO. THEY TOO TALKED TO HER AND INFORMED HER THAT SHE CAN ACTUALLY BE FINED FOR VIOLATING THE NOISE ORDINANCE. BY THIS TIME, SHE WAS REALLY HATING ME. SHE SPENT A SMALL FORTUNE TO REMODEL THAT CONDO AND DOESN'T SEE WHY SHE CAN'T DO AS SHE PLEASES IN IT. SO I SUGGESTED THAT, PERHAPS, SHE COULD GO TO THE HOME OF ONE OR THE OTHER OF THE KIDS AND HAVE THEM ALL OVER THERE UNTIL THEIR PARENTS CAME HOME FROM WORK. THE PARENTS DIDN'T LIKE THAT IDEA BECAUSE THEY FELT THE KIDS WOULD MAKE TOO BIG A MESS. TOUGH! SO MUCH FOR ARBITRATION! BUT THEN I CAME UP WITH A PLAN.
I DECIDED TO "KILL HER WITH KINDNESS". NOTHING ELSE I DID SEEMED TO WORK. SO I WENT SHOPPING OVER THE WEEKEND AND GOT ALL KINDS OF SMALL THINGS THAT THE KIDS COULD DO - A CHECKER BOARD, A GAME OF CHUTES AND LADDERS, AN UNO GAME, DOMINOS, COLORING BOOKS WITH THE CRAYONS THAT WON'T MARK UP FLOORS OR TABLES. I GOT EVERY SMALL THING I COULD THINK OF AND THEN TOOK THEM UP TO HER. I ALSO ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO TAKE HER TO THE LIBRARY TO GET A LIBRARY CARD SO SHE COULD PICK OUT BOOKS AND READ TO THE KIDS. I ASKED HER TO LET THE KIDS HAVE ONLY ONE NEW THING EACH DAY SO THEY WOULDN'T GET EASILY BORED. THEN I TOOK HER TO LUNCH.
IT HAS BEEN AMAZINGLY QUIET UP THERE. OCCASIONALLY ONE OF THE KIDS WILL STILL JUMP OFF THE FURNITURE, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, SHE HAS THEM EITHER BAREFOOT OR IN THEIR SOCKS RATHER THAN THE CLUNKY SHOES. SHE HAS TAKEN THEM TO THE PARK DOWN THE STREET (WHICH SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAS THERE) AND BY THE TIME THEY GET BACK, THEY ARE TIRED; EAT SOME LUNCH AND TAKE A NAP. I GUESS YOU REALLY DO ATTRACT MORE BEES WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH VINEGAR.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
OK! I HAVE HAD IT ALREADY! CAN I NOT CATCH A BREAK HERE TO SAVE MY SOUL? HERE I WAS ALL SET TO GO HOME AND THEY TOOK THE COLLAR OFF ME SO I COULD GET DRESSED EASIER. I WOULD HAVE TO PUT IT BACK ON, BUT STILL ..... I STRETCHED UP MY ARM TO PUT ON MY NEW SPORTS BRA AND I HEARD A CRUNCH AND SO DID THE NURSE. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO MOVE AND SAT ME ON THE BED AND PUSHED THE EMERGENCY CODE BLUE BUTTON. WONDERFUL! NOW WHAT?
I SWEAR I ONLY MOVED MY HEAD A FRACTION OF AN INCH AND A PIECE OF BONE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN CRACKED, SNAPPED OFF AND CRUNCHED IN MY NECK. DOCTORS ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE AND THIS POOR NURSE IS HOLDING MY HEAD STILL WHILE AND I AM COMPLETELY UNCLOTHED EXCEPT FOR A PAIR OF UNDIES. AWKWARD!
SO BACK DOWN TO C.A.T. SCAN ONLY TO FIND THAT I NOW OFFICIALLY HAVE A BROKEN NECK! WHAT? I CAN STILL MOVE ALL MY LIMBS. MY MOUTH WORKS WELL ENOUGH (I SURE TALK WELL AND OFTEN) SO NOW WHAT? THEY DECIDE TO STABILIZE MY NECK IN AN ARTHROSCOPIC PROCEDURE AND SEND ME HOME WITH THE COLLAR. OK - GO FOR IT. BUT FIRST I WANTED TO TAKE AS MUCH ADVANTAGE OF THIS AS I COULD. SO I DID A NUMBER ON POOR DH.
"YOU DO KNOW HONEY, I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO MUCH WHEN I GET HOME. I'M SURE YOU HAVE HAD SOMEONE COME IN AND CLEAN THE WHOLE PLACE AND PRACTICALLY STERILIZE MY BATHROOM AND BEDROOM. AND I KNOW THERE IS NO ROTTEN FOOD IN THE FRIDGE AND IT IS STOCKED WELL WITH ANYTHING I WILL NEED TO RECOVER AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE." I GOT A LITTLE HUMMING AND THROAT CLEARING WHICH BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT I COULD GO BLOW SMOKE IF I THOUGHT HE WOULD HIRE SOMEONE TO DO ALL THAT. SO I ADDED THAT I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO HURT HIM BY POSTING PICTURES ON FACEBOOK OF WHAT A SLOB HE IS. ALL HIS FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS WOULD SEE IT ..... LET ME TELL YOU, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH TERROR IN MY LIFE AS I SAW ON HIS FACE. "YOU, YOU WOULDN'T REALLY DO THAT ..." OH YEAH! BIG TIME!
SO I JUST GOT HOME TO A NICE CLEAN APARTMENT FULLY STOCKED WITH LOTS OF FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES AND HE EVEN GOT ME SOME NEW WAX FOR MY SCENSI BURNER THING. JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT, I PEEKED INTO HIS ROOM AND OMG! I THINK HE HID EVERYTHING THAT HE HAD STREWN ALL OVER THE CONDO, IN HIS ROOM AND HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIS BED TONIGHT.
I AM SO GLAD I DID NOT SETTLE WITH THAT INSURANCE COMPANY FROM THE DRIVER. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS MAY TAKE AWHILE TO HEAL AND IT IS EVEN AFFECTING MY VISION BUT THAT COULD STILL BE LEFT OVER FROM THE SURGERY.
SO I GUESS THE ONLY THING THAT I STILL DON'T HAVE IS PROSTATE TROUBLE. AND IF I GET THAT, TRUST ME, THREE WISE MEN WILL E COMING FROM THE EAST!
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