Wednesday, June 18, 2014
OK! I HAVE HAD IT ALREADY! CAN I NOT CATCH A BREAK HERE TO SAVE MY SOUL? HERE I WAS ALL SET TO GO HOME AND THEY TOOK THE COLLAR OFF ME SO I COULD GET DRESSED EASIER. I WOULD HAVE TO PUT IT BACK ON, BUT STILL ..... I STRETCHED UP MY ARM TO PUT ON MY NEW SPORTS BRA AND I HEARD A CRUNCH AND SO DID THE NURSE. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO MOVE AND SAT ME ON THE BED AND PUSHED THE EMERGENCY CODE BLUE BUTTON. WONDERFUL! NOW WHAT?
I SWEAR I ONLY MOVED MY HEAD A FRACTION OF AN INCH AND A PIECE OF BONE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN CRACKED, SNAPPED OFF AND CRUNCHED IN MY NECK. DOCTORS ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE AND THIS POOR NURSE IS HOLDING MY HEAD STILL WHILE AND I AM COMPLETELY UNCLOTHED EXCEPT FOR A PAIR OF UNDIES. AWKWARD!
SO BACK DOWN TO C.A.T. SCAN ONLY TO FIND THAT I NOW OFFICIALLY HAVE A BROKEN NECK! WHAT? I CAN STILL MOVE ALL MY LIMBS. MY MOUTH WORKS WELL ENOUGH (I SURE TALK WELL AND OFTEN) SO NOW WHAT? THEY DECIDE TO STABILIZE MY NECK IN AN ARTHROSCOPIC PROCEDURE AND SEND ME HOME WITH THE COLLAR. OK - GO FOR IT. BUT FIRST I WANTED TO TAKE AS MUCH ADVANTAGE OF THIS AS I COULD. SO I DID A NUMBER ON POOR DH.
"YOU DO KNOW HONEY, I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO MUCH WHEN I GET HOME. I'M SURE YOU HAVE HAD SOMEONE COME IN AND CLEAN THE WHOLE PLACE AND PRACTICALLY STERILIZE MY BATHROOM AND BEDROOM. AND I KNOW THERE IS NO ROTTEN FOOD IN THE FRIDGE AND IT IS STOCKED WELL WITH ANYTHING I WILL NEED TO RECOVER AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE." I GOT A LITTLE HUMMING AND THROAT CLEARING WHICH BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT I COULD GO BLOW SMOKE IF I THOUGHT HE WOULD HIRE SOMEONE TO DO ALL THAT. SO I ADDED THAT I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO HURT HIM BY POSTING PICTURES ON FACEBOOK OF WHAT A SLOB HE IS. ALL HIS FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS WOULD SEE IT ..... LET ME TELL YOU, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH TERROR IN MY LIFE AS I SAW ON HIS FACE. "YOU, YOU WOULDN'T REALLY DO THAT ..." OH YEAH! BIG TIME!
SO I JUST GOT HOME TO A NICE CLEAN APARTMENT FULLY STOCKED WITH LOTS OF FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES AND HE EVEN GOT ME SOME NEW WAX FOR MY SCENSI BURNER THING. JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT, I PEEKED INTO HIS ROOM AND OMG! I THINK HE HID EVERYTHING THAT HE HAD STREWN ALL OVER THE CONDO, IN HIS ROOM AND HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIS BED TONIGHT.
I AM SO GLAD I DID NOT SETTLE WITH THAT INSURANCE COMPANY FROM THE DRIVER. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS MAY TAKE AWHILE TO HEAL AND IT IS EVEN AFFECTING MY VISION BUT THAT COULD STILL BE LEFT OVER FROM THE SURGERY.
SO I GUESS THE ONLY THING THAT I STILL DON'T HAVE IS PROSTATE TROUBLE. AND IF I GET THAT, TRUST ME, THREE WISE MEN WILL E COMING FROM THE EAST!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
I was so darn proud of myself. Instead of using a riding cart at the grocery store, I actually walked all the way through and pushed my own cart out to my car. I heard a car start up but saw no tail lights lit so I kept going to my car and BAM! My cart kept going and I was on the ground under some little tiny car. And wow - did my head ever hurt. But really, nothing else hurt all that much to think anything was broken.
Then this stupid person, realizing she had hit something, decided to pull forward again to see what it was. Some guy was screaming at her not to move the car, but she did anyhow. Now that one I felt. Turned out that the guy doing the yelling had been a medic in Afghanistan (thank you God). He told someone to call 911 and held my head like it was in a vice and kept telling me not to move.
You know how they say that weird stuff goes through your head in times of an emergency? OK! Weird stuff goes through my head all the time! But at that exact moment, I thought of two things. 1 - This guy is really cute and 2 - They darn well better not have broken the eggs I bought. I swear that's what I thought.
I could hear sirens and Mr. Cutie Pie asked me who he should call for me. I told him my smart phone was in my pocket. He had someone else get it out. For those of you that have smart phones, trust me on this one. Spend the extra $100.00 to get the "Lifeproof" case. My phone worked just fine and didn't have a scratch on it. The cases are not attractive, but very, very sturdy.
The rescue squad was there by then and I could hear the guys talking. This exact same thing had happened 2 months ago at another store in town within this same chain. Only that lady died. And again, it was someone over 90 driving. In this state, they are in the process of enacting laws saying everyone over 65 needs to take a behind the wheel test each time their license is renewed. Too bad it hadn't passed sooner.
If you have never had to wear one, those big rubber-type blocks that they put your head in and the big plastic cervical collar are not only tacky to look at ( not the least bit fashionable) but very sweaty and uncomfortable. At least I thought it was sweat but I guess I sweat red since that was what was running in my eyes. But I never lost consciousness.
The paramedic wanted to give my a little morphine but I told him I didn't need it. I think he thought I must have had a severe head injury. No - I just have a very high tolerance for pain.
And thank God I was alert enough to tell them that I could not have an MRI because I had too much metal in my upper chest and in my back and legs. So C.A.T. scan it was. The only areas of concern were my right side, head and hands. But there was so much swelling that it was difficult to tell if anything was broken without an MRI. So they decided to do a P.E.T. scan instead.
If you have never had one of these, they are very cool. They inject you with this radionuclide medication and you stand very still while this machine goes round and round you. I could see the images on a screen in front of me. Any areas of concern lit up like a Christmas tree. I remember dh having these with his cancer. That's how they found the three last fingers on my right hand were broken and the thumb on my left hand. Have you ever tried to pull up your undies with 4 splints on your hands? It is an adventure to behold. I have already sent a friend out to buy me some over-the head sports bras as there is no possible way to hook a bra with these silly splints.
Now! Here is where I was really blessed. The lady that was killed in the other parking lot, was hit by a Honda Pilot. That is a huge vehicle. What I got hit by was not much larger than a tonka toy. It was a brand new Ford Festiva. Didn't even have license plates on it yet. I think I could have fit it in my purse if I tried. The problem is, they ride very low to the ground. Not a good winter car for this part of the country. But when she backed over me the first time, my hair got caught on the clamp-ring that holds the muffler on. So when she pulled forward again; instant Indian. Not only am I 1/2 Indian by birth, but I had just been scalped.
Now I know this is cruel. But a police officer at the scene asked me if I wanted to press charges against this woman and I said yes. At that time, I had no idea what injuries I had or how much doctoring I would need. So I figured I would need a police report for insurance purposes. See? Not too bad thinking for road kill!
Dh didn't make it to the hospital until after 5 that night. I was at the store about 8 AM. I asked him where the heck he had been and in typical fashion for him he said, "I couldn't very well just close the store when I had customers there." So I told him I would punch him in the face if he didn't get on Spark and notify all of you of what was going on. When I think of it now, had I punched him (as if I really would); imagine how that would have hurt my broken fingers. But I think he is afraid of me since I am tougher than him. So he did bring out his laptop and post to all of you.
So now, I am a lovely assortment of colors ranging fro green, yellow to black and a beautiful dark purple. I had a nurse take a picture of that purple because I think I would love to paint my bedroom that color. The picture, however, would not be appropriate to post as much of what all God gave me would be visible for all too see and trust me, it is not pretty.
I have to wear this stupid cervical collar until my head heals. My hair feels so grossly dirty but I can't wash it yet. They want to be sure the reattachment took. But they are sick of my complaining so I get to go home tomorrow. Yes i ache all over, but think about it. I could have very well been paralyzed from the neck down. I actually have an imprint of a tire right across the back of my neck and one super ugly hairdo. But I am thankful that I can feel the discomfort - it means I am still alive and kicking. OK! I am not kicking very high but I am kicking. And I get P.T. again that insurance will pay for. Fortunately, in this state insurance is mandatory and the driver does have some. Her insurance company has been in to see me three times offering a settlement. I told the hospital to bar them from my room. I have no idea what my bills will be yet or if there will be any lasting damaging.
I am not a litigious person. But I do expect that company to pay my Dr. and hospital bills and if I should need any extra equipment at home, they should pay for that too. I will be having a nursing service stop in three times a day since dh will not take off from work. And that is fine.
But I better not go home to a messy house. I cleaned it the day before I got hit. But he is known to spread junk everywhere in minutes if I am not there to yell at him. Neighbors have dropped off casseroles, bread, and other goodies. I told dh to freeze them all. We only have an 18 cubic foot fridge so he had to have another neighbor but some of the stuff in her freezer that she has in a second bedroom. She was smart and froze it all in individual serving containers. I owe her big time.
I did read his posts since I had to dictate most of it. But I can't believe he signed off with his title. What a guy. He did visit me twice while I was up there but only so he could get some free lunch and went right back to work. Thank God for my Kindle and smart phone. What did we ever do before these marvelous inventions?
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
I CAN'T SEE MUCH DIFFERENCE, BUT THAT IS DUE TO THE HANGING SKIN I HAVE. I COULD MAKE LUGGAGE FROM IT!
Tuesday, May 06, 2014
I, LIKE MANY OF YOU, HAVE MULTIPLE HEALTH ISSUES. AND I KNOW THAT MANY OF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THIS BLOG.
WE PAY OUR DRS. BIG AMERICAN DOLLARS TO SEE AFTER OUR HEALTH AND TO ADVISE US ON THE BEST WAYS TO HANDLE OUR VARIOUS ISSUES. BUT DON'T YOU SOMETIMES WONDER IF THEY EVEN HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEY'RE DOING?
I AM ON ANTI-REJECTION DRUGS AS I HAVE SOME BODY PARTS NOT MY OWN. I FELT ABSOLUTELY FINE - NOTHING AT ALL THAT I SAW WRONG. THE DR. SAID MY BODY WAS REJECTING AND THEY HAD TO CHANGE ALL MY MEDS. THAT'S 19 DIFFERENT DRUGS! CHANGE THEM ALL AT ONCE? ARE YOU NUTS? IF I HAVE A REACTION, HOW WILL THEY POSSIBLY KNOW WHICH DRUG CAUSED IT?
SO I, BEING THE LOUD MOUTH THAT I AM SAID, "ARE YOU NUTS, ETC?" I SUGGESTED CHANGING JUST THE ANTI-REJECTION DRUGS AND LEAVING THE REST ALONE. THEN IF THEY WANT TO CHANGE THE REST LATER, FINE. HE ASKED ME WHERE I GOT MY MEDICAL DEGREE. HOW RUDE! I TOLD HIM, "THE SAME PLACE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOURS - AT THE SCHOOL OF COMMON SENSE." HE DID NOT TAKE KINDLY TO THAT COMMENT.
SO HE CHANGED JUST THE ANTI-REJECTION DRUGS. OH. MY. GOSH! THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE 8 WEEKS TO REACH A FULL THERAPEUTIC DOSE. BY WEEK THREE, I WAS SHAKING, SWEATING (I MEAN BIG TIME) I HAD NO APPETITE WHATSOEVER (WHICH CAN BE A GOOD THING) AND WAS SNAPPING AT EVERYONE AROUND ME. I COULDN'T EVEN WRITE MY OWN NAME, I COULDN'T HOLD A WATER GLASS OR COFFEE CUP WITHOUT TWO HANDS.
WHEN I CALLED THE DR. ( AND COULDN'T EVEN DIAL MY OWN SMART PHONE AS I HIT 3 NUMBERS AT ONCE AND HAD TO USE A PENCIL ERASER TO DIAL) HE TELLS ME THESE ARE NORMAL SIDE EFFECTS OF THESE TWO DRUGS. WELL! PHOOEY ON THAT! I TOLD HIM I WANTED OFF RIGHT NOW. HE SAID I HAD TO WAIT THE FULL 8 WEEKS TO SEE IF THE SIDE EFFECTS WENT AWAY. THEY DID NOT AND ONLY GOT WORSE. I STARTED TWITCHING WHEN SITTING IN A CHAIR WATCHING TV. DH TOLD ME TO GET OFF THAT STUFF NOW.
SO I CALLED ANOTHER OF MY DRS. AND ASKED HOW I GO ABOUT GOING OFF THIS DRUG WITHOUT HAVING A REACTION. AND HE TOLD ME BUT ADVISED ME TO TELL THE PRESCRIBING DR. THAT I WAS DOING IT AND TO BE FIRM ABOUT IT SO I COULD GO BACK ON WHAT I HAD BEFORE. SO I CALLED DR. CRABBY PANTS AND TOLD HIM I WAS GOING OFF THAT DRUG AND WANTED HIS ADVICE ON THE SAFEST WAY TO DO IT AND GET BACK ON MY OTHER REGIMENT.
HE TOLD ME I WOULD DIE. BALONEY SAUSAGE! THIS NEW DRUG IS JUST SUPER EXPENSIVE AND I THINK HE WANTED TO HAVE A GUINEA PIG TO TRY IT ON. SO I AM NOW IN THE PROCESS OF GOING OFF THIS DRUG. MY VISION BLURS, I CAN'T DRIVE, AND I LOOK LIKE I AM HAVING SOME SORT OF ATTACK WITH THESE SHAKES. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME IF I AM OK. I JUST SMILE AND SAY, "I DRANK TOO MUCH LAST NIGHT". AND SO IT GOES.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW SOME PEOPLE JUST SEEM TO ALWAYS BE GETTING INTO TROUBLE OR HAVING WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM? OTHERS LEAD A CALM AND ORDINARY LIFE. I FALL INTO THE FIRST GROUP. IF IT IS WERID AND IT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO SOMEONE, IT WILL BE ME.
WHEN I LEARNED TO DRIVE, IT WAS ON AN ARMY TRUCK KNOWN AS A "DEUCE AND A HALF". THAT IS A BIG, BIG TRUCK. THE SERGEANT TOOK ME OUT INTO THIS HUGE FIELD. IT WAS TOTALLY EMPTY WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ONE TREE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. I LEARNED TURNS AND BACKING AND SHIFTING THAT BIG DEVIL AND YUP! YOU GUESSED IT - ONE TREE AND I HIT IT! AND WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
"WRITE A BOOK" EVERYONE TOLD ME. SO I DID. " IT WILL GET PUBLISHED AND WE WILL ALL BUY IT." SO IT DID. I DONE TOL' THEM AND TOL' THEM, "I CAN'T TRAVEL - MY HEALTH IS TOO POOR". "WE'LL SEND YOU A NURSE AND YOU CAN FLY MEDICAL CLASS". LIKE A DORK I SAID OK -" WE'LL GIVE IT A TRY BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO MAKE
APPEARANCES ANYWHERE AND I WILL ONLY DO LOCAL BOOK SIGNINGS." IS A BOOK GOING TO SELL LIKE THAT? PROBABLY NOT. BUT WHO KNOWS. SO I GET ON THE FLIGHT.
WELL MOST OF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. FORTUNATELY FOR ME, I REMEMBER LITTLE OF IT. BUT WHEN YOU PLAN AN OVERNIGHT TRIP AND THE PLANE HAS TO LAND SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR YOU, YOUR LUGGAGE DOES NOT GO WITH YOU. SO I END UP IN A HOSPITAL IN MINNEAPOLIS WITH NOTHING BUT MY PURSE. NO CLEAN UNDIES, NO TOOTHBRUSH - NOT EVEN A COMB. AND DH CAN'T EVEN BRING THE STUFF TO ME BECAUSE I AM MANY HOURS AWAY.
I FIGURED I WOULD BE THERE OVERNIGHT AT THE MOST. WRONG! DORK AGAIN! I ENDED UP BEING THERE A LONG, LONG TIME. THEY WILL GIVE YOU A COMB AND TOOTHBRUSH AND ADD $100.00 TO YOUR BILL. BUT YOU GET NO CLEAN UNDIES, SOCKS - NOTHING! AND I WAS SO BORED WITHOUT MY KINDLE THAT I TOOK TO WALKING THE HALLS WITH ALL GOD GAVE ME HANGING OUT THE BACK OF MY GOWN.
I WAS NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE OUT OF BED BUT I HAD TO FIND SOMETHING TO READ. I REALIZED I AM WORSE THAN A JUNKY WHEN IT COMES TO BOOKS. SURE, THEY HAD A TV BUT THERE IS NOTHING BUT JUNK ON THERE DURING THE DAY. I NEEDED MY BOOK FIX.
SO I TOOK TO SNEAKING AROUND AT NIGHT TO TRY TO FIND SOMETHING - ANYTHING TO READ. I FIND A DARKENED TV-TYPE FAMILY ROOM AT 2 AM AND SEE OLD MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS, AND ONE PAPERBACK BOOK. UTOPIA! I STRUCK THE MOTHER-LOAD!
AND THEN I THINK - HOW AM I GOING TO GET THIS STUFF BACK TO MY ROOM UNDER MY HOSPITAL GOWN? MIND YOU, I HAVE NOTHING ON UNDER IT AT ALL. BUT I DO HAVE THIS LITTLE SHELF OF HANGING SKIN FROM WHERE MY STOMACH USED TO BE. SO I THINK MAYBE I CAN STUFF SOME STUFF UNDER THERE AND THEN JUST HOLD MY STOMACH, LIKE I HAVE A PAIN OR SOMETHING, AND BEAT FEET BACK TO MY ROOM; WHEN I HEAR BEHIND ME "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
IT IS A SECURITY GUARD AND I HAVE MY GOWN LIFTED AND AM STUFFING STUFF UNDER IT. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT ALL THAT GUY SAW. I TOLD HIM I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO READ. HE TURNED ON THE LIGHT AND I SHOWED HIM THE MAGAZINES AND BOOK. I FELT LIKE ONE OF THE LITTLE KIDS IN "OLIVER" ASKING "MAY I TAKE ONE MORE SIR?" ALL HE LET ME TAKE WAS THE BOOK AND ESCORTED ME BACK TO MY ROOM.
I HAVE FELT LIKE A DORK MORE TIMES IN MY LIFE THAN I CARE TO RECALL. BUT I THINK THAT ENTIRE TRIP WILL GO DOWN IN MY MEMORY AS THE DORKIEST OF THEM ALL.
Get An Email Alert Each Time STITCH4EVER Posts