10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
STILLWATERSSB's Recent Blog Entries

What's Wrong With Me?

Sunday, June 29, 2014

I don't even know how to put it into words. I have been having a huge internal struggle.

A year ago I retired from my position in the church. Since I dont want this to come across as slanderous, I won't insert details of what led up to that decision. Anyway, my retirement was not recognized by my church as I only had 17 yrs of service and was told 25 was required.

In my church we wear certain color epaulettes and hold a rank based on service years. I retired as a Major and wore red. In order to allow the new pastors time to get grounded, I did not attend for 2 months.

For a couple weeks upon my return I wore church clothes. The new pastors do not call me by rank and it really shouldn't matter to me. Instead of the normal attire, all winter I wore slacks, white shirt and a sweater. This gave me the appearance of being properly clad. Then, for the first time in almost a year, I wore the skirt and blouse with my red epaulette. One church member looked hard at it. Apparently I'm to be wearing blue. So, the next week I wore pants and sweater. Today, skirt and I chose to not wear epaulettes at all. Why is this so hard?

I was asked to preach today and had been looking forward to it. All week I couldn't get the sermon to work. I think I realized i would have to put the blue on. Again, it shouldn't matter. Saturday I panicked and finally told the pastor I wasn't ready. I couldn't do it. I feel I really let them down and God down. I don't know what is wrong with me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRIZM96 7/9/2014 12:40PM

    Shannon, I hate that I just now saw this. :-( I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with YOU. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. And Christie is so right, you can NEVER let God down. Especially not with your heart and soul in the right place.

You are amazing and have given a great chunk of your life to that church. I know how much it means to you. I hope you can find neutral ground there. It's hard, but you got this. My faith is in YOU!

Report Inappropriate Comment
2LABS2LOVE 7/2/2014 7:35PM

    First, it is impossible to ever let God down. We are the human ones, not God. Your struggles are making you stronger for something else...the unknown assignment that will eventually make sense. Perhaps, there is a more vulerable pastor that will find himself/herself without a church home or worse...a pulpit and you will be able to guide them through. You can't see the shore on the other side of this storm due to the gray skies and clouds...but God has His hand outstretched to you and you will carefully get your own time. Never ever think you can disappoint God or let Him down due to internal pain. He loves you Shannon and He sees the secret places and desires of your heart. Hold can make it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
V_IS_LOSIN 7/1/2014 9:09PM

    There is nothing wrong with you. I would feel the same way if it were me. Hope things get better.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    You were treated poorly and not in a manner that people in those positions should sleep well over either. You are trying to be comfortable in the environment you gave your entire life to and you SHOULD be proudly wearing and addressed by your correct rank Shannon. Of COURSE there is nothing wrong with you. It SHOULD matter! You gave your life to the SA and are a wonderful person with a heart of gold. They should ALL be ashamed of themselves.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 6/30/2014 6:28AM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Whoopie Pie Recipe

Friday, May 30, 2014

Where there's a recipe team reply button wouldn't work. Then, went back to team thread and my last post wouldn't let me edit and wouldn't allow a new post, so I came here!

Take any cake mix and add 1 C flour and add ingredients per recipe. Drop onto greased cookie sheet. 1 rounded tsp. Bake 8-10 min (temp according to box). Once cake cookies cool, add choice of frosting between 2 cookies like an oreo.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCFITZ2 5/30/2014 11:36PM

    Had a friend long ago who made them from scratch.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Kettle shops

Monday, May 26, 2014

Will this make me look fat?

Sorry due to mobile device you will have to cut/paste link.

Nitro's outfit is

Kettle is the beloved dog of Shannon (Stillwaterssb). She died at age 11 from joint cancer a week after her 11 th birthday, 2011.

Nitro is the sweet male lab who belonged to Christie (2labs2love). He passed away right before Christmas, 2013.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2LABS2LOVE 5/27/2014 7:21PM

    emoticon on the blog. You are right...only we know this blog took almost six (or seven ) hours!

Good job!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Kettle Goes to Prom Pt 3

Monday, May 26, 2014

Time to pose for pictures


My date Nitro

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2LABS2LOVE 5/27/2014 7:24PM

    emoticon I am so touched that you chose Nitro as Kettle's date. It brings happy tears to my eyes.

Yes, Kal, your beautiful Maggie looks like my Nitro. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANELAINE1956 5/27/2014 4:20PM

    Great pictures.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Nitro looks so much like my sweet Maggie.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Kettle Goes to the Prom Pt 2

Monday, May 26, 2014

Time to get ready!

All showered and flossed

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2LABS2LOVE 5/27/2014 7:23PM

    emoticon ohhhh! I want more! More kettle!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANELAINE1956 5/27/2014 4:19PM

    Hope you both had fun!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Last Page