Thursday, November 05, 2009
I don't know what happened to me today. If it weren't for the name of our team, "JUST DO IT", I'd have been in big trouble diet wise. I started out in the wrong direction by lying to myself on Monday. And then I continued to lie to myself for the rest of the week:
This past Monday, we had a birthday breakfast for one of the secretaries. The cafeteria sent up a fruit platter, donuts and bagels, bacon, sausage, turkey sausage, scrambled eggs and scrambled egg whites. Whenever we've done this in the past, I always take the left over turkey sausage and put it in my little fridge by my desk and would reheat 3 of them every day of the week with my eggs. Well, this time I was going to be different I said to myself. I'll still store the sausages, but I'll eat only 1 instead of the 2 or 3 that I used to do (Lie #1). After all, 2 are a serving size and it's "TURKEY" sausage, so it's not so bad (Lie #2). You see, I avoided the donuts and bagels and bacon, so I felt I did the right thing anyway. (Lie #3)
What I was doing was setting myself up to go back into my former bad habits. I don't need to eat sausage every day, turkey or otherwise. The fat is still in there, albeit not as much as pork, and turkey sausage also has added cholesterol that I don't need. But, most of all, it was a shaved down version of a bad habit. I usually cook 2 egg whites at home in the morning and bring them to work, microwave them and have them with coffee and sometimes I add fresh fruit. The calories for 2 egg whites is like 56 calories....add the turkey sausage and I've added 130 calories.... Yes 130 because I ate 2, not 1. So now breakfast was nearly 200 calories, add the fruit and we're over 200.
Eating turkey sausage once a week is fine, but every day made me unconsciously start craving stuff from the old way of eating. Today being day 4 of this foolishness, it was a sort of trigger I guess. BUT, I held back and chomped on baby carrots. I always forget how satisfying they are until I force myself to eat them and wind up enjoying them. Ok, got away with it. So, I went to the fridge and threw out the remaining sausages. I had secret plans of bringing them home and freezing them and having them twice a month (lie #4). Who was I kidding. I toyed with the idea of throwing them out for about 15 minutes and all of a sudden, I thought "JUST DO IT!! Throw them out!!"
So I go home at 12:30 (I had an appt at my son's school for 1:30, so I took the afternoon off) and once home, I had a serving of Healthy Choice deli ham (only 60 calories) on an Arnold sandwich thin (only 100 calories). Ah, I was safe again. After the meeting, I went straight to Kohl's dept store for the 50% off sale and on the way out, I called my son at home and offered him Burger King which was right next to Kohls. I drove through Burger King and ordered his chicken fries and got myself a hamburger kids meal!!!!!! With a diet coke yet!!! Hah! Well, I told myself, the fries may not be too bad because they're small (Lie #5), and how many calories could there be in a tiny hamburger? (Lie # 6) I knew full well yesterday that this was not a diet meal, but today, I was starting to rationalize that I could still fit it in my day if I, now get this, skipped dinner. Like that may EVER happen!!! (I know there's another Lie in there somewhere, but I've lost count!)
Around 5:00 my son's math tutor came and while they were mathing away, I ate a piece of his candy. A small piece, one "fun size" almond joy. Couldn't be all that bad (Lie # 7) and then I had more "fun" with a mini sized milky way little nugget. I don't even LIKE Milky Way bars.
Then when she left, I made him ziti with butter, and I made too much. mmmmmm, how bad could pasta be, after all I AM doing my aerobics circuit training dvd tonight, I'll burn it off (Lie # 8). So I ate about 2 ounces of plain ziti but in the middle of it all, I had another JUST DO IT moment and threw it out.
Then.....THEN....I decided "Oh, I exercise every single day. My body needs a day off (Lie # 8, because of ALL the days when my body needs a break, TODAY WAS NOT THAT DAY!!!!).
So, I'm sitting at the computer emailing away and thinking "I should really exercise. But, I can always power walk tomorrow at lunch time and then do the circuit training at night. That will make up for it. No, I should do it. No, I don't think I will. Oh, heck JUST DO IT!" So I did. Then I sat down at my nutrition page and input every single morsel that I ate today and I got VERY LUCKY. The little ole hamburger was 310 calories and the small fries were 350. It really added up. BUT.....I get between 1200 and 1550 calories per day on my plan and usually hang out around 1200-1250 calories. For the first time ever, including the pieces of candy, I hit 1536 calories. I STILL MANAGED SOMEHOW TO STAY UNDER THE MAX of 1550 CALORIES.
So, I Just Plain Got Lucky. My eyes are now WIDE open that one little lie to myself could have reversed my entire 3 months of hard work and undone the satisfaction I have in the weight I've lost and the good habits I've gained. Were it not for this "JUST DO IT" team, the remaining 8 sausages would be half in the fridge at work and half in my freezer at home for the weekend, the ziti would be sticking to my hips like it used to and tomorrow morning I'd be lamenting about how I really should have exercised tonight. Instead, I got a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card" and got back on track before I completely fell off the tracks!!!
Thanks, gang! Thanks for being there! So glad to be part of this team!!!!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
After waiting several weeks for it, this morning I got on the scale and it tipped down 1/2 a pound to 169.5 !!!!! I did it, I broke into the 160's!!
THERE'S NO STOPPING ME NOW!! I can almost TASTE the 150's!
Without the encouragement of everyone here at SparkPeople, I don't think I would have had the resolve to keep it going. I've read so many blogs and either recognized myself in them or was reminded that what I was whining about was just that....whining, because so many others had really serious troubles and mine were just little excuses to not want to do it anymore. These other people gave me the perspective I needed to do a reality check and be honest with myself. Whenever I felt like that, I posted something on a message board and Boom, within MINUTES, comments came flying in that immediately changed my mind.
Posting onto other peoples blogs and message boards reinforced my will and stamina to make it. If I can offer advice, then I can take my own advice as well, or sometimes even recognize the fact that I actually have made a positive change in my life and hadn't realized that I dropped one bad habit and picked up a good one. Sometimes we don't realize how far we've come and are actually becoming successful because we are constantly in the battle and don't take the time to see that we've won a couple of those battles. Posting comments on the blogs and message boards helps us to step back for a moment and get a look at ourselves and how far we've come.
Joining the "Just Do It" team changed everything. Now, I always tell myself "Just do it". I'll be sitting on the couch at 9:30 at night and know I didn't exercise yet and be flipping it back and forth in my mind for a while when I finally say to myself "Oh, what the heck, just do it." and while I'm exercising, I'm happy and proud of myself for doing it. Once the exercise cd is over, I think immediately how fast that went and now I'm heading towards a better place because of it. And the best part of it was that I did it, I did it, I did it. The former me would have lamented the next morning "I should have done it."
For the first time in YEARS, I can actually feel myself walking inside of my pants. Does that make sense? When I walk, my leg is actually moving inside the pant leg because there's so much room in there now! I think I need a new size, but I'm going to wait until my very old friend, "the 150's", is back in town. But, oh what a feeling for the tightness of the clothes to be gone!
Do I sound excited? Huh huh huh? Well.......YEAH, I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 26, 2009
I am just a 1/2 pound away from "breaking a number" on the scale & entering the 160's for the first time in years.
Friday night, my husband and I were volunteer chaperones at our son's middle school "REC night" (dance, game room, etc.) along with about 15 other parents. I was situated at the entrance at the table that registers the kids and takes their admission money and my husband was situated all the way down the hallway to make sure the kids don't wander out of the area towards the classrooms. He told me when we got home that at one point, he looked down the hallway and was wondering who "the new person was" that was standing by the registration table and then he realized it was me!!!!! Wow, that was HUGE for me.
The next day at home, my husband and my 11 year old son were sitting on the sofa watching TV. I held my back and walked over to my husband and said "Feel this right here". He put his hand on my back and I said "NO FAT!!!" I actually felt the back of my ribcage without that chubby layer of flab!! As we giggled about it, my son said "Face it, Mom. You look fabulous"
I'm so psyched that this time around I'm going to make it. I think the difference this time around is my own determination to make it happen. We have to really want to do it. No matter what avenue we try, if we don't really want to do it 100%, it is not going to work for us. Sparkpeople was the way for me and even when I don't get results on the scale, I don't care because I FEEL better, whether it be more energy, the lack of that layer of chubs on my back, my husband of 23 years not recognizing my profile, my son's compliment, or the 2 less pills my cardiologist told me I no longer need to take.
If I keep with it faithfully, the scale will eventually catch up with me. I'm just miles ahead of it, that's all!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Ok, so initially with 40 pounds to lose, I figured it wouldn't show right away, probably after 10 or 15 pounds. And I was right. When I lost 15 pounds, it really didn't show much. Something "looked different" to others, but nobody was guessing that I lost weight. Then I hit the half way mark (I'm 1/2 pound shy of 20 pounds lost) and still nobody has said a thing.
I jokingly said to my husband "Wow, how bad is it when you lose 20 pounds and it still doesn't show?" I mean it didn't bother me any because I FEEL thinner even though I don't LOOK much thinner. I walk around the house feeling like I'm this really thin person, until I pass a mirror and know that I'm not "quite" there yet. LOL. But, don't get me wrong, I'm not down about it AT ALL, I'm positive about it and I'm excited about it. I'm not even the least bit tempted to give up. Just "setting up" my story here.
I have some heart problems and today I had a regular appt. for a blood test to check the levels of certain medicines in my body. And guess what? I was taken off of 2 pills a week and it was directly related to my weight loss. He told me that since I've lost 20 pounds, the amount of the coumadin I'm currently taking is too high and I should knock off 2 of them a week. Because of my heart condition, I will never be medicine free, but to take 2 less pills a week because I don't have the body fat to warrant it??? Does it get any better than that today?
I'd much rather have my weight loss show this way than anyone saying "Hey, have you lost weight recently?" I mean, that day will certainly come once I've taken off the full 40 pounds. THIS is the day that counted.
GO SPARKPEOPLE.COM!! And thanks your constant support and for posting your own blogs as well. I learn so much from so many of you.
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