STEPHLOKI   171,559
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putting yourself down

Sunday, June 30, 2013

yep I am one of those, who tend to think badly of themselves. Like when I stand in front of a mirror I often think of myself as the fat & ugly cow....
Well this morning I was waering my running tights and getting ready for a run and I saw my stomach is getting smaller, hanging less over the waisband... Yeah!!!!
Here is one story how I surprised myself:
When I went to Nursing School I never thought I would manage and pass the final exams, I thought I am not good enough to get there. Well 3 years later I was one of the good scorers in the final exam. Not among the top, since on the written & oral exam I "only" had a B & a B+, but in the practicals I had an A! Who? Me? The one who is not good enough to become a Nurse?

Tehrefore I think, even now when I think I can not pass the PMP exam, I will still succeed. So let's focus and keep saying "Yes I can"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHLOKI 7/1/2013 10:55AM

    Thanks Guys. Studying going well so far. Scored 61.3% today in a trial. Need some 10% more, but I think that is doable......Have 6 more days to prepare

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IFDEEVARUNS2 7/1/2013 10:25AM

    It does make a huge difference to have a positive outlook. You know you can do it, so own it! emoticon
Isn't it great to see results????? Yay!!!!! emoticon

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LOVINGAFRICA 7/1/2013 6:20AM

    This is a lesson I am also currently learning:
Hang on, there is an Earful coming your way!

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LOVINGAFRICA 7/1/2013 6:15AM

    Why on earth are you so nasty to STEPH! She is my friend and I will not tolerate it!!

Would you EVER think that of somebody else? Then why yourself?

We have to learn to love our bodies and ourselves before we can get off this weight yo yo roller coaster.

(Some scientists think that auto immune disease is fuelled by negative self talk and self hatred. Why risk that?)

So tell yourself each day, I am an amazing caring person, who does amazing things. I can run, even when others would have stopped and taken a seat on the couch for keeps. I care deeply about people and things in my life. My employers are lucky to have me. I add great value to every project. I am beautiful, and strong and wise. In the unlikely event where I may fall short on ability, I can access the all sufficiency of Jesus in me.

(I have never met you, but I can tell all that from here) Now open your eyes and see it for yourself.

I can tell from your blog that you are starting to get glimpses of this truth.

I think fixing this is your true journey

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OUTDOORGIRL70 6/30/2013 9:35PM


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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 6/30/2013 7:43PM


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SCHUBERTR1 6/30/2013 7:02PM

  Our thoughts are not necessarily truths.

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NATPLUMMER 6/30/2013 4:37PM

    I think you will do great on the PMP exam!!

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61INCHGAL 6/30/2013 3:17PM

    It is funny how I say the most appalling things to myself and I would never say those horrible and mean things to another woman.

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and have so much cellulite from years and years of binge eating that if I did not know otherwise, I would have thought it was a skin disease. I can not even trace a quarter of an inch without a bump, lump or ripple.

I am glad you are kicking that thinking to the curb. emoticon

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LNSYLVSDOGS 6/30/2013 2:28PM

    I am SO guilty of doing the same thing with myself. Plus, it is especially difficult to simply accept a compliment. My first instinct is to say something (kind of like an excuse of why I don't deserve the compliment.) I am not trying to be irritating. It is just the first thing that comes out of my mouth. emoticon

Oh, if we could only see ourselves the way our friends see us!

Good job with the exams!!! emoticon

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Exam Fear

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I have never enjoyed doing exams, they just freak me out.....
Now I have this major online exam coming up, PMP in less than 2 weeks. I am slowly getting butterflies in my stomach and feel like I need to go to the loo all the time. Yeah, it is exam fear alright..... Happens every time.
Only this time I am "preparing" for an exam without havign time to. Pressure at work is so high, I am totally mentally exhausted in the evenings. Weekends there are all the things I didn;t do during the week, waiting for me.
I am relly having a hard time focussing. But I do study early mornings, when not in the gym & today I want to continue listening to the PMP audio book over lunch time.
Next week I have taken leave to prepare myself for the exam. I want to go to the gym most days, maybe have a massage to relax and then study about 6 hours each day.
Need to cram those formulas for the costing..... The rest is more learning how to answer the questions and how to use my experience for answers.

I know I can do it, but the fear is always there. Hope I don't have any other exam any time soon......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHLOKI 6/26/2013 1:21AM

    Thanks everyone.
Diamondarcadia, unfortunately this is not one of those exams you can cram. You can only pass that exam when you have both:
1. Studied the book
2. Have practical Project Management Experience
Problem is that I have hardly any experience in the cost management bit, since we don't practise it in accordance with PMI at the moment. This will be the enxt thing I will tackle at work in a couple of months, once oru work on scope & time has been successful.

I think so too. Right now I feel like I am loosing the grip

I will definitely exercise every day a bit next week. I always do when preparing for an exam

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WILEE323 6/25/2013 12:17PM

    It has been proven that exercise before study can help you focus and retain knowledge better! Plus it will help relax you too!!

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NATPLUMMER 6/25/2013 10:36AM


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LOVINGAFRICA 6/25/2013 8:18AM

    Don't be scared, Lucy is right!
Bless you! Get some Vit B Complex before your time off.

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    I am totally calm when it comes to exams fortunately but I have superb short term memory and just need to review a little before a test and bam... an A but it comes with a price of never retaining anything lol I hope you do well... breathe and get plenty of rest. Best of luck.

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NYARAMULA 6/25/2013 1:47AM

    emoticon . You will be fine. I'm think most of the fear right now is because of the fact that you are feeling you haven't had time to study. After next week, I bet you will be feeling more relaxed and ready to face those exams. All the best.

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Mindful eating

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

When I analyse where I slip up it boils down to 2 simple issues:
1. When I eat mindlessly and give in to cravings
2. When I am out with friends and drink alcohol.

There is a simple lesson to learn from both:
Stay away from the alcohol, since it has lots of empty calories, unless you are sure you can get away with only 1 glass of wine, and pay attention to what you eat.
Make sure you have healthy snacks in the office and carry your daily food items from home.

When that doesn't work, make sure you go to eat somewhere, where there are healthy choices. This is important, since here in Kenya, you will get no info on calories and end up overeating, if not careful. If BF & I meet for lunch we often share 1 smoked Salmon Bagel. We realized even 1/2 portion is filling and it is enough to push me through the afternoon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 6/18/2013 12:57PM

    I do #1 all the time.

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LOVINGAFRICA 6/18/2013 2:51AM

    My problem is not alcohol. It is food!

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EOWYN2424 6/18/2013 2:36AM

    I just love bailey's and milk! but I force myself to stick to just one drink!

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Amazing Day in Nairobi National Park

Monday, June 03, 2013

Just want to share my amazing day in the Nairobi National Park. This is a wildlife game reserve within the boundaries of a Mega City.
We do game counts every 2 months from the Friends of Nairobi National Park (FoNNaP) and they are a lot of fun.

Basically you are allocated a piece of the park and count animals you see at the same time as everybody else. I love it if I am allocated a piece on the other side, since you will drive through the whole park and get a chance to see a lot.

This was one special morning! We went in at 6am at the crack of dawn as always.

First thing we saw with in 3-4 km was a big fat Rhino walking right in front of us on the road - usually you only get to see them from a distance.
UNfortunately my camera developed a problem, so most pictures where very bad, I will only share the Best!

500m after the Rhino, right after the next bend we saw a big male lion, who was very love sick according to the sounds he made.

We had to follow him for a while, before he moved over enough for us to pass. Sorry about the poor picture.

less than 1 km away we got to one of the sign-posts and see what we found:

Then when we got to another dwam a few km down the road I saw 2 Rhino getting at each other with their horns. so we tried to get a bit closer for a better look. Turned out they were again right on the side road we choose. As we got closer they stopped quarreling and decided to walk on.

So we followed and voila, right behind the next bedn in the road we found a group of 7, including the 2 we had seen. This is a rare sight!

We had a few other sightings of Rhino & Lions and of course lots of other animals. Once you finish counting in your part you can stay in the park for the rest of the day and we always take advantage of that. We carry a picnic and just have a good time driving around or going for little walks in the few areas where you are allowed out of the car.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ORANGEKIWI1 6/11/2013 4:18PM

    Wow Steph, One to never ever forget, especially loved the big cats on the sign posts!

How totally inspiring for you (and us now!)



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OWL_20 6/9/2013 6:08AM

    emoticon Would love to see these animals in their natural habitat!

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EOSTAR_45 6/8/2013 10:49AM

    Wow, sounds like a great day. I went to the park in May when I was home for 3 months. Had a great time. We didn't see any rhinos :-( but still it was nice. It had been a while since I had visited the park.

Have a great weekend
~ Cathy

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RONNIEHUEY 6/6/2013 6:07PM

    Wow! You are so lucky to be a counter.We have to count Bald Eagles at a local lake.They are rare in Southern Calif.

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IGSBETH 6/4/2013 2:21PM

    Wow, thanks for sharing!

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JUNEPA 6/4/2013 1:35AM

    Awesome way to spend a day !!

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NATPLUMMER 6/3/2013 11:03AM


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JACKIE542 6/3/2013 10:20AM

    Very exciting!! emoticon

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STEPHLOKI 6/3/2013 10:13AM


here poaching has also gone up to alarming rates, that's why yesterday was so special. Last week about 4 rhinos were killed for their horns in different game parks. So far Nairobi National Park has not been affected. The Wildlife Service has increased the patrols and we saw lots of the Rhino guards all over the park patrolling.

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LOVINGAFRICA 6/3/2013 10:04AM

    How great is that! Our rhino are being pouched at an amazing and unheard of rate at the moment. SA is losing the battle to save the rhino.
Bless you!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 6/3/2013 9:16AM


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SLIMMERJESSE 6/3/2013 9:02AM


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IFDEEVARUNS2 6/3/2013 9:00AM

    What an experience! Thanks for sharing.

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YMWONG22 6/3/2013 3:51AM

  That must be quite an encounter. To be able to see so many animals in their habitat up close. Thank you for sharing your amazing experience and the pictures you took.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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It's official - another pound down

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Yep, I have lost another pound. I weighed 2 days in s row with the same result.

So let's keep focused

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EOSTAR_45 5/31/2013 10:31AM


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DDOORN 5/31/2013 10:11AM

    Excellent! Job well done!


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LOVINGAFRICA 5/31/2013 7:04AM

    Haha, love how you double checked!
Good Job!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 5/30/2013 12:45PM


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KENDRACARROLL 5/30/2013 11:20AM

    Super! Weiter so. Keep the focus!!

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NATPLUMMER 5/30/2013 11:01AM


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SLIMMERJESSE 5/30/2013 9:31AM


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IFDEEVARUNS2 5/30/2013 9:29AM


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ELRIDDICK 5/30/2013 6:57AM

  Thanks for sharing

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LAURIE5658 5/30/2013 6:56AM

    So happy for you, Steph!

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RAPUNZEL53 5/30/2013 6:53AM


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