STEPHLOKI   165,797
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STEPHLOKI's Recent Blog Entries

Frustration and Joy at the same weekend over the same things....

Monday, October 27, 2014

My good friends daughter is getting married. We had one of the traditional functions last weekend, where the grooms female relatives come to visit the bride & her female relatives. So I thought I's wear one of my dresses.

Well I had been wondering, that I am wearing trousers that i wore with 10kg less than now... now I know where the weight is: my arms, my tummy & generally my upper body...

I tried 2 dresses, gave up and put on a trouser & an Indian blouse. Driving to the venue of the function I had a long think and realized:
1. All my dresses are old - I deserve a new one....
2. I am fighting RA (stops me from exercising as much as I would love to)
3. I am not getting any younger and need to make new adjustments
4. I am fighting PCOS & perimenopause at the same time and my weight gains had been in monthly leaps - boof here is 5kg more for you and only 1 kg reduced after TOM..... LOL
5. I have been eating borderline high

But I had a victory: I have maintained weight in the last 4 months!!!!!

So I resolved I will buy myself a new dress. Admit that I am not just overweight in the BMI, but also in the mirror & the scale and focus on myself, instead of BF's need for a driver (when he gives out his car). BFs newly diagnosed Gout and his lack of willingness of telling me which of the allowed vegetables he wants to eat, I will cook what I want to eat and if he does not fit in the plan he can eat at home, after all his daughter in law does cook for him (he lives with his family, not with me).

So I went shopping yesterday for a dress for a wedding. First the big frustrations:
1. the first 4 shops had NOTHING I liked in my size....
2. I went to a more high-end shop and said now I will use their guidance. But most dresses looked short to me, or not my style.
3. The Lady pulled out dresses size 18 for me - what me a size 18??????

Then came the victory:
As expected the size 18 was way too big in the bust and one dress, the first one I tried and the one I like, was there in size 16. I put it on and it fit!. The other 2 were too tight in shoulder & arms respectively, even though they claimed to be size 18.....

Well I went home with a nice dress I like, and even the 2 attendants seemed to genuinely like it. I thought it was very expensive, but when I put it in Euros and compared with prices there, it was actually cheap. So I went home feeling pretty good about myself.

Now I just need to work on myself again. Even though 7 years into my SP journey I am at my heaviest ever, it could be worse, since I am battling a lot of issues.

But I need to get to a point again, where I don't hate what I see in the mirror and feel like a fat blob when buying clothes........

Just some pictures to cheer myself up:

1. Getting ready for work last Friday, that is a size M T-shirt


2. Yesterday in the new dress, sorry it is a bit dark. The dress is dark marine and the loose top that looks like a blouse is attached to the dress.

Just ignore the double chin for now...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBYFROMMT 10/30/2014 9:42AM

    Steph, you are BEAUTIFUL! I love these pictures! That dress is really nice! I hope it makes you feel as beautiful as you are!

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STEPHLOKI 10/29/2014 1:46AM

    Thanks Guys, I need this cheering on.
I thought accepting to not being able to run much any more was hard, well accepting a body that tends to blow up in 4kg increments is harder....

But it is helping me to celebrate the small victories, like maintaining for 4 months.......

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KENDRACARROLL 10/28/2014 4:13PM

    PCOS seems to make weight loss harder but not impossible. They're recommending eating clean and exercising, which is tough sometimes as you battle RA as well. Hang in there, do the best you can. Remember 80% food, 20% exercise. You can do this!

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JMAHNKEN 10/27/2014 5:32PM

    Yes, I agree, you look beautiful in what ever you wear! And the sexiest thing is a big smile! I didn't log all the stuff that I would normally log yesterday as I was just too busy, but I still ate healthy and got exercise. And today it showed as I lost 2 lbs. I am right there with you trying to put me first! I had been bouncing up and down too long too.

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DDOORN 10/27/2014 10:24AM

    Kudos to celebrating your maintenance and taking care of YOU! BF will speak up if he wants to take care of himself...right? :-)

Self-acceptance...one of my challenges as well...sigh...

Don

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NATPLUMMER 10/27/2014 10:03AM

    emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/27/2014 9:10AM

    I like your realistic outlook. We are not as young as we were, and our bodies are naturally going to reflect that, even if we don't gain weight. Continue to do the best you can with the hand you are dealt.
Congrats on the shopping trip - sounds like a real success. The size is just a number. How you feel in the dress is what matters.
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PICKIE98 10/27/2014 5:28AM

    I know you look beautiful,, with or without that dress.. Look at the great person smiling back at you in that mirror!!!!!!!!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 10/27/2014 2:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Something that motivated me this week

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I saw one of my beloved Aunty Acid posts on FB:

"Never use scales Ladies.... because scales don't measure sexy"

Wishing all of us a feeling sexy kind a weekend.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBYFROMMT 10/18/2014 6:13PM

    Wow, that is one smart Aunty!!!

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LAURIE5658 10/18/2014 9:37AM

    Love that!

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NATPLUMMER 10/18/2014 7:46AM

    emoticon

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ROX525 10/18/2014 6:42AM

    lol...Have a great weekend sexy!

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MM11113 10/18/2014 6:11AM

    made me laugh out loud

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Golf - great fun & great frustration

Monday, October 13, 2014

Yesterday was one of those days. I felt like the greatest Idiot on the golf course. I took many air shots and topped many of the balls. Did I mention "head up"????? Need some weight around my head to keep it down....

I was even asked my Caddy whether I am too stupid for this game. I just felt like I forgot everything I ever learned.
But luckily I did count my points. I am not handicapped yet (golfer's will understand this), but I counted assuming I am playing of a handicap of 36. And in the end here it was:

I actually had scored 9 points! For me, who is still an infant where it comes to golf, this is a good score! I know this is far from any score professionals and those guys who have played for years will score, but for me it was a personal best!

Looking back I am glad I counted, otherwise I would have gone home simply frustrated. But the score made me look at all my shots not just the bad ones. Here is what I found:

1. I had one-patted on one hole on quite a distance - a pat to be proud of
2. 80% of my Tee shots were very good
3. When I hit the ball well on the fairway it did go straight & distance was also ok, for someone my level
4. I did have fun
5. The other Lady I played with, has been playing for 3 years and has much more time to practice than me, she hits the ball further than me on the fairway, but our Tee shots are similar and she also did lots of blunders

Lesson learned:
Don't focus on the negatives, focus on the positive factors.

Now if I could just learn to do that in regards to my weight loss, instead of beating myself over the head for gaining weight...
Hey I might not have lost weight, but against all odds (health problems, not conducive to weight loss) I have maintained since July!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBYFROMMT 10/13/2014 6:06PM

    Great! Just maintaining is good! As far as the golf, would you like to feel like a pro? Just play with me! (I don't golf, tried, but was using right handed clubs and I'm left handed. Didn't stick with it)

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ROCKYCPA 10/13/2014 11:07AM

    As long as you are not gaining, then things are going well. Keep at it and you will succeed at both losing your weight and golf!

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GERIKRAGH 10/13/2014 10:23AM

    Good analogy.

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NATPLUMMER 10/13/2014 9:40AM

    emoticon

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ZELLAZM 10/13/2014 5:05AM

    Maintaining is a good thing! Enjoyed reading about your golf adventure. I somehow never got around to learning to play although I lived in a part of Florida that is loaded with golf courses!

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Senior Golfing Society Annual Dinner

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Yesterday it was time again for the Senior Golfing Society annual dinner. That is the one event in the year where they all come with their wives, all dolled up to have a dinner and some serious fun at the prestigious Muthaiga Country Club.

As usual it was lots of fun. This was now the 4th time that BF took me along.

By now I know a lot of them quite well, since I have come along to a lot of their golf weekends. After the dinner (great food), there is always dancing.

Since I knew there would be lots of excellent food, I prepared by having a light lunch of fruit salad with yogurt & nuts for lunch and only small snacks. I still went over, but damage was less than I feared. We also danced for quite a while, which burned off a few calories. Now I will try to be careful today and move as much as possible over the weekend.

Also my friends have gotten used to me not drinking much, so no one tries to insist any more. I did have 1 G & T and I think I should avoid that in future when there is a big buffet

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBYFROMMT 10/11/2014 2:56PM

    What fun! I understand it's hard to stay in calorie range at events like that, but you need to balance what you need with socializing with friends. A fine line I know.
But you knew what to do! Great blog Steph, thanks!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 10/11/2014 11:07AM

    Great to hear from you.

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NATPLUMMER 10/11/2014 10:21AM

    emoticon

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Westgate Terror Attack - 1 year later

Saturday, September 27, 2014

The anniversary has come & gone. I think it was good I was not in Kenya last weekend, since I think I would have watched too many things on TV about it.

Overall I am very happy that I have recovered well from the trauma. When I watch the things they are showing on FB & TV I am sad about the attack, the many severely injured & traumatized people but it doesn't hurt me any more. I feel now panic.

It is a sad day in the history of Kenya, but it also pulled people together. It was one of the few times it didn't matter which color or tribe you are, all were affected equal, but also all stood together to help. Maybe it has helped pull people together in this country.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZELLAZM 10/4/2014 6:31AM

    Glad to hear that you and your friends are healing...

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KENDRACARROLL 9/30/2014 7:53PM

    Glad you're doing well.

And, ah, that's what politicians do…
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STEPHLOKI 9/29/2014 5:03AM

    Thanks every one. Had a long chat with my friend who had been in the thick of it. She is doing well. Her daughter had a belated reaction, but is undergoing treatment. Also Helga still gets VERY upset when people elaborate on the stupid rumors that still make the rounds. Like that there were only 4 terrorists, yet on the video you could see at least 5 and from the people who where there and saw them, we have records of 4 different groups of 2 each at the same time.
Or that the terrorists were among the first to leave, yet the videos show them praying inside at night and 3 days later the aide people who fed the soldiers were being shot at. Not sure why certain politicians here insist on changing facts. Maybe then they don't have to deal with it.

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NATPLUMMER 9/27/2014 12:08PM

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LAURIE5658 9/27/2014 9:41AM

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POETICJUSTUS 9/27/2014 3:42AM

    Blessings to you and yours' from Austin ,Texas. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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