Monday, October 27, 2014
My good friends daughter is getting married. We had one of the traditional functions last weekend, where the grooms female relatives come to visit the bride & her female relatives. So I thought I's wear one of my dresses.
Well I had been wondering, that I am wearing trousers that i wore with 10kg less than now... now I know where the weight is: my arms, my tummy & generally my upper body...
I tried 2 dresses, gave up and put on a trouser & an Indian blouse. Driving to the venue of the function I had a long think and realized:
1. All my dresses are old - I deserve a new one....
2. I am fighting RA (stops me from exercising as much as I would love to)
3. I am not getting any younger and need to make new adjustments
4. I am fighting PCOS & perimenopause at the same time and my weight gains had been in monthly leaps - boof here is 5kg more for you and only 1 kg reduced after TOM..... LOL
5. I have been eating borderline high
But I had a victory: I have maintained weight in the last 4 months!!!!!
So I resolved I will buy myself a new dress. Admit that I am not just overweight in the BMI, but also in the mirror & the scale and focus on myself, instead of BF's need for a driver (when he gives out his car). BFs newly diagnosed Gout and his lack of willingness of telling me which of the allowed vegetables he wants to eat, I will cook what I want to eat and if he does not fit in the plan he can eat at home, after all his daughter in law does cook for him (he lives with his family, not with me).
So I went shopping yesterday for a dress for a wedding. First the big frustrations:
1. the first 4 shops had NOTHING I liked in my size....
2. I went to a more high-end shop and said now I will use their guidance. But most dresses looked short to me, or not my style.
3. The Lady pulled out dresses size 18 for me - what me a size 18??????
Then came the victory:
As expected the size 18 was way too big in the bust and one dress, the first one I tried and the one I like, was there in size 16. I put it on and it fit!. The other 2 were too tight in shoulder & arms respectively, even though they claimed to be size 18.....
Well I went home with a nice dress I like, and even the 2 attendants seemed to genuinely like it. I thought it was very expensive, but when I put it in Euros and compared with prices there, it was actually cheap. So I went home feeling pretty good about myself.
Now I just need to work on myself again. Even though 7 years into my SP journey I am at my heaviest ever, it could be worse, since I am battling a lot of issues.
But I need to get to a point again, where I don't hate what I see in the mirror and feel like a fat blob when buying clothes........
Just some pictures to cheer myself up:
1. Getting ready for work last Friday, that is a size M T-shirt
2. Yesterday in the new dress, sorry it is a bit dark. The dress is dark marine and the loose top that looks like a blouse is attached to the dress.
Just ignore the double chin for now...
Saturday, October 18, 2014
I saw one of my beloved Aunty Acid posts on FB:
"Never use scales Ladies.... because scales don't measure sexy"
Wishing all of us a feeling sexy kind a weekend.....
Monday, October 13, 2014
Yesterday was one of those days. I felt like the greatest Idiot on the golf course. I took many air shots and topped many of the balls. Did I mention "head up"????? Need some weight around my head to keep it down....
I was even asked my Caddy whether I am too stupid for this game. I just felt like I forgot everything I ever learned.
But luckily I did count my points. I am not handicapped yet (golfer's will understand this), but I counted assuming I am playing of a handicap of 36. And in the end here it was:
I actually had scored 9 points! For me, who is still an infant where it comes to golf, this is a good score! I know this is far from any score professionals and those guys who have played for years will score, but for me it was a personal best!
Looking back I am glad I counted, otherwise I would have gone home simply frustrated. But the score made me look at all my shots not just the bad ones. Here is what I found:
1. I had one-patted on one hole on quite a distance - a pat to be proud of
2. 80% of my Tee shots were very good
3. When I hit the ball well on the fairway it did go straight & distance was also ok, for someone my level
4. I did have fun
5. The other Lady I played with, has been playing for 3 years and has much more time to practice than me, she hits the ball further than me on the fairway, but our Tee shots are similar and she also did lots of blunders
Don't focus on the negatives, focus on the positive factors.
Now if I could just learn to do that in regards to my weight loss, instead of beating myself over the head for gaining weight...
Hey I might not have lost weight, but against all odds (health problems, not conducive to weight loss) I have maintained since July!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
The anniversary has come & gone. I think it was good I was not in Kenya last weekend, since I think I would have watched too many things on TV about it.
Overall I am very happy that I have recovered well from the trauma. When I watch the things they are showing on FB & TV I am sad about the attack, the many severely injured & traumatized people but it doesn't hurt me any more. I feel now panic.
It is a sad day in the history of Kenya, but it also pulled people together. It was one of the few times it didn't matter which color or tribe you are, all were affected equal, but also all stood together to help. Maybe it has helped pull people together in this country.
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