Monday, January 14, 2008
I'm in a happy mood because I actually got done with most of what is on my "to do" list, and I stayed within my exercise and calorie goals! This almost never happens, and it's Monday to boot!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
I TOTALLY flugged up last night, got on the scale and I weigh one more pound than I did on Monday when I had my initial weigh-in. That's going from 225 down to 221, and then back up and further to 226.5. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF????
OK, time to evaluate what's going on. It just looks like a bunch of little tiny things, and I'm not sure why it got me out of control and upset. From yesterday's blog post it looked like my dear old husband was moody and unresponsive. He is going off to a union meeting all day today and I was nervous because I have to drive my daughter to a roller skating birthday party, we are going to a bowling party with church, and my daughter wants to go all over the neighborhood to sell GS cookies. I'm mainly worried because I have to drag my toddler everywhere with me, and he's extremely accident-prone. Yesterday I was supposed to buy the birthday present for my daughter's friend, and I had to fight with my daughter so that she would go with me, but I'm so annoyed; I mean, it's HER friend so she should help pick out the gift. In the meantime, my husband was cleaning out the basement. That in itself is a really nice thing, but it totally isolates me from him. My mother calls and tells me that family brunch on Sunday is going to be at an all-you-can-eat buffet at the restaurant located underneath the apartment where my grandmother died. I HATE all you can eat buffets because it's nearly impossible to count calories, but how do I tell my mom that I refuse to go to the restaurant where my mom is thinking about her mom and it means so much for her to go there? I felt totally out of control and I just said to myself "screw it" and I ate something that I couldn't figure out how to count calories on and then I basically gave myself permission to go on an all-out binge.
OK...I hear the baby waking up and I didn't start my exercise. Gotta go. I hope I get some exercise in!!!!
Friday, January 11, 2008
I really was motivated to exercise a whole bunch and my eating seems under control today. Yesterday I flugged up but I only gained 6/10 of a pound, so I figure I needed to do damage control. My husband is in a rotten mood because his sabbatical proposal got rejected, and when he gets all aloof like this, I feel like eating comfort food and lots of it because I want to be loved, snuggled, etc. and he doesn't feel up to being affectionate. His aloof mood makes me feel vulnerable. And when I'm affectionate to him and try to comfort him when he's like this, he gets annoyed. So I'm reminding myself he's acting this way not at all because of me, and if I need kindness and affection, I can get that from myself by taking a shower, snuggling under a down comforter and taking a nap, reading a nice book, etc. I can get what I need today from me. I don't know why I feel I need other people to make me happy! I want to learn how to make myself happy...not let others make or break my day.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
I'm feeling more optimistic about getting back on track. I don't think I'll feel too good at all until I get below 220, though. There was a thread on the community board that asked if I let the scale rule me. The answer is definitely YES!!! But that's ok. Whenever I don't let the scale bother me, my weight goes up 20 pounds or more. So I'm going to continue to weigh myself everyday, fully knowing that there are fluctuations based on water retention, PMS, etc.
I got day 1 of my 12-week challenge done! Success!!! I want to keep this up for the whole challenge. I know some days will be better than others, but this is my focus for the next 12 weeks; everything else, housecleaning, etc. comes second (except for my kids).
I started at 225 on Monday, and this morning I weighed in at 221.6 Hope this will continue!
Sunday, January 06, 2008
It's the start of the New year and I'm heavier than I have been for a year and a half! I'm so bummed. I'm trying to be positive; I joined a 12-week challenge, and I've set some pretty big daily challenges to get to where I want to be. But there are always obstacles....the one facing me now is Lydia's Brownie troop selling Girl Scout Cookies! Aack! Thin mints are my favorite and I usually buy too many anyway; now my daughter is selling them! Yuk. I will have to figure out a strategy. I think I'll buy a bunch and give them away to a food pantry.
Well, it's 73 degrees outside and it would be a sin if I didn't go for a walk so I'd better scoot.
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