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STEPHANIE_JEAN's Recent Blog Entries

Actually had a productive day!

Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm in a happy mood because I actually got done with most of what is on my "to do" list, and I stayed within my exercise and calorie goals! This almost never happens, and it's Monday to boot!

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COSMIC_ENERGY 1/14/2008 10:32PM

    Whoo Hoo Steph--I'll take your kitty picture and you get a happier one. for your good day.

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Sabotage. I'm at war with myself.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I TOTALLY flugged up last night, got on the scale and I weigh one more pound than I did on Monday when I had my initial weigh-in. That's going from 225 down to 221, and then back up and further to 226.5. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF????

OK, time to evaluate what's going on. It just looks like a bunch of little tiny things, and I'm not sure why it got me out of control and upset. From yesterday's blog post it looked like my dear old husband was moody and unresponsive. He is going off to a union meeting all day today and I was nervous because I have to drive my daughter to a roller skating birthday party, we are going to a bowling party with church, and my daughter wants to go all over the neighborhood to sell GS cookies. I'm mainly worried because I have to drag my toddler everywhere with me, and he's extremely accident-prone. Yesterday I was supposed to buy the birthday present for my daughter's friend, and I had to fight with my daughter so that she would go with me, but I'm so annoyed; I mean, it's HER friend so she should help pick out the gift. In the meantime, my husband was cleaning out the basement. That in itself is a really nice thing, but it totally isolates me from him. My mother calls and tells me that family brunch on Sunday is going to be at an all-you-can-eat buffet at the restaurant located underneath the apartment where my grandmother died. I HATE all you can eat buffets because it's nearly impossible to count calories, but how do I tell my mom that I refuse to go to the restaurant where my mom is thinking about her mom and it means so much for her to go there? I felt totally out of control and I just said to myself "screw it" and I ate something that I couldn't figure out how to count calories on and then I basically gave myself permission to go on an all-out binge.

OK...I hear the baby waking up and I didn't start my exercise. Gotta go. I hope I get some exercise in!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHANIE_JEAN 1/14/2008 9:26PM

    Thank you for your suggestions! Although the rest of the weekend could be written off, I did have only one plate! I was happy about that. I had fruit salad for 1/4 of the plate, too. Could have been better, but definitely could have (and has been) worse!

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MAINEROCKS 1/12/2008 2:37PM

    Also, eat something healthy before you go to have something in your belly so that you don't eat too much just b/c you are starving. Focus on the conversation more than the food and just one trip up. You can do it!

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COSMIC_ENERGY 1/12/2008 11:14AM


A trick I learned one time when I had to go to a buffet was to walk the food line first and see all the choices. then Make a mental note of what you can eat and stay on your diet. Then here's the kicker. One plate only unless the other is for salad--oil and vinegar dressing only. the others are too dangerous to use too much.

Remember you aren't there to eat. You are there to be with your mom and remember your Grandma. We have to learn to eat in the real world don't we? You CAN do it.

The other part is all about emotions. I know the need to be with other people in order to be happy. Now that I'm alone, I'm trying to figure out how to change that. Not easy. Plus sounds like DD has you doing too much. It's a fine line to walk I know. Good Luck.

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Good day so far

Friday, January 11, 2008

I really was motivated to exercise a whole bunch and my eating seems under control today. Yesterday I flugged up but I only gained 6/10 of a pound, so I figure I needed to do damage control. My husband is in a rotten mood because his sabbatical proposal got rejected, and when he gets all aloof like this, I feel like eating comfort food and lots of it because I want to be loved, snuggled, etc. and he doesn't feel up to being affectionate. His aloof mood makes me feel vulnerable. And when I'm affectionate to him and try to comfort him when he's like this, he gets annoyed. So I'm reminding myself he's acting this way not at all because of me, and if I need kindness and affection, I can get that from myself by taking a shower, snuggling under a down comforter and taking a nap, reading a nice book, etc. I can get what I need today from me. I don't know why I feel I need other people to make me happy! I want to learn how to make myself happy...not let others make or break my day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYLOWE 7/12/2008 2:02AM

  I hear you sweetie! I think some of us are just more receptive to our loved ones emotions, and have a tendency to absorb them.
It's hard enough to not give in to emotional eating, and adding that sometimes, we take on emotions that aren't even ours...makes it all the more difficult.
Congratulations for not giving in, you can do it!

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A little more hopeful today

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I'm feeling more optimistic about getting back on track. I don't think I'll feel too good at all until I get below 220, though. There was a thread on the community board that asked if I let the scale rule me. The answer is definitely YES!!! But that's ok. Whenever I don't let the scale bother me, my weight goes up 20 pounds or more. So I'm going to continue to weigh myself everyday, fully knowing that there are fluctuations based on water retention, PMS, etc.

I got day 1 of my 12-week challenge done! Success!!! I want to keep this up for the whole challenge. I know some days will be better than others, but this is my focus for the next 12 weeks; everything else, housecleaning, etc. comes second (except for my kids).

I started at 225 on Monday, and this morning I weighed in at 221.6 Hope this will continue!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THEBESTANG 1/9/2008 12:53PM

  My trick with the scale is that I record my lowest weight in the past three so that I don't let those small upward fluctuations kill my motivation. For example, on Sunday I weighed in at 153, Monday 153 and Tuesday 150. So on Tuesday I recorded 150. If today I weighed 151, my lowest of the three days is still 150 so I do not change it. If it continues going up then my recorded weight goes up too. If I goes back down to 150 (or less!) within the next day or two then I leave it alone. Make sense?

I don't like the scale because it can make you obsess over little things but I am like you in that if I stray from it, so does my weight.

And I think you should feel great now even if you are not at 220 yet! You should feel great because you are not 225 anymore!

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Happy New Year!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

It's the start of the New year and I'm heavier than I have been for a year and a half! I'm so bummed. I'm trying to be positive; I joined a 12-week challenge, and I've set some pretty big daily challenges to get to where I want to be. But there are always obstacles....the one facing me now is Lydia's Brownie troop selling Girl Scout Cookies! Aack! Thin mints are my favorite and I usually buy too many anyway; now my daughter is selling them! Yuk. I will have to figure out a strategy. I think I'll buy a bunch and give them away to a food pantry.

Well, it's 73 degrees outside and it would be a sin if I didn't go for a walk so I'd better scoot.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MATCHBOX20GIRL 1/6/2008 11:09PM

    Hey, girl! So good to see your blogging in 2008 already. Keep up the good work. I just wanted to tell you that you're such an inspiration to me,and thanks for always commenting on my blog, or leaving a comment on my page, because they always cheer me up and lift me up! You're such a great friend! (((HUGS)))


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