STEPH-KNEE   80,787
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STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

So uncomfortable, all the time! =/

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Before, I would only be uncomfortable in certain situations. Like I am always uncomfortable when I'm out (pretty much) because of the looks I get. Grocery store, out to eat, the mall, anywhere pretty much ha ha! But I've noticed that now that my weight is even higher then I'm *used to*, I am honestly uncomfortable all the time.

Even as I sit here. My *two stomachs* are in the way and I just hate it. When I roll over in bed in the middle of the night, it seems like such a production. Going up and down the few stairs in my house feels like a marathon. I am only 24, it shouldn't be like this.

I just can't believe I let it get this far. It's such a strange feeling to be at home, where I am supposed to feel good and safe and all of that, yet I still feel so uncomfortable. The two stomachs need to go. I want to lose enough weight that rolling over in bed is no longer an olympic event ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPH-KNEE 6/9/2010 8:20PM

    Thanks so much for the comments guys! I do have everything I need right here and front of me, now I just need to do it. I keep forgetting I have lost a few pounds already, so I can't say I don't know how. I do, I just need to quit being lazy. :D

Comment edited on: 6/9/2010 8:21:31 PM

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PIR8CHIK 6/9/2010 11:30AM

    This is VERY do-able! You've already taken the most important step! You're on Spark! AND you want to make a change! That's what you need! The right mindset!
Take it one day at a time and be patient. You are a work in progress and you must give your body time to make these adjustments and to change, but it's certainly worth the investment of your time & energy!
Before you know it you will look forward to going out and about and getting noticed for a completely different reasons!
emoticon emoticon

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WEIGHTING4BABY 6/9/2010 10:41AM

    Olympic event!
You can do it! you've lost weight already! One day at a time!

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CHICAT63 6/9/2010 9:14AM

    You can do it, you have access to all the tools here on Sparks, your Sparkfriends, etc. It's does take: determination and dedication to do this, we're here for ya !

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JUSTA123 6/9/2010 6:50AM

    You have all the tools You need right here, use them and you will be amazed at how great you begin to feel, even with a long way to go each day feels better then the last. emoticon

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TKDGIRL49 6/9/2010 6:19AM

    I hear ya! One day my father in law said in front of company.. " Oh look ! Nancy has two stomachs!".. of course I wanted to die right there.

In the beginning I thought my stomach would never go down.. but once I started doing the sparks, combined that with Tae-bo my tummy(s) started shrinking!

! How good it feels!

So dont despair, expect wonderful changes coming* emoticon emoticon

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FITKAT2010 6/9/2010 6:04AM

    Let this body issue be the fuel for the Spark of self-improvement. Do something about it kiddo and keep doing something about it. Don't wallow, take action NOW.

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Isn't It Ironic, Dontcha Think?

Thursday, June 03, 2010

I think it is at least a *little bit* ironic. So I am the first to say "I've ONLY lost 24 pounds." At this exact moment, it's more like 21 unfortunately... but I started this weight loss journey at my all time highest weight of 272. I got down to 248 and honestly couldn't really tell a difference. My work uniforms were no longer so tight that I could barely breathe LOL, but that was pretty much it.

So I've been totally slacking, no exercise, and not eating like I should. It's like I eat really healthy for 3 days, and then it goes to crap for 2-3 days. The thing I lack most is consistency. So the other day on the scale I was 252... and let me tell you... my work pants got tighter, and I just started to feel uncomfortable.

I find it so ironic that losing 24 pounds felt like pretty much nothing to me, yet gaining back just a few made all the difference in the world! It is definitely a good thing and an eye opener. It's a reminder that I don't want to go back to where I was... and it shows that even if it was "only" 24 pounds, it definitely helped and made me more comfortable in my own body.

Enough talk, I need to put up or shut up lol. I don't want to continue to live like this. I'm done-sies.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It took about 30 pounds (starting from 293) for me to need smaller pants. That was also the point where people started noticing I was getting thinner.

Your observation about your pants getting tighter with just a few pounds matches something I just stumbled on; I'm coming off two weeks of making "negative" progress to the tune of 5 lbs, and I swear my midsection is noticeably bigger than it was, even after losing the 5 lbs again. Is it possible that when we are losing steadily, we are losing from all areas, but when we put weight on quickly, it preferentially goes to our midsection? If so, that would be another reason to avoid the dreaded yo-yo effect.

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STEPH-KNEE 6/3/2010 7:11PM

    Thanks for the comments!

Miranda - I know whatcha mean. I hate that it's a uniform, because I want to buy these new shirts, they are polo shirts instead of button up and they are so much more comfortable.. but I keep saying I don't want to buy them to fit me now cause then they will be too big soon. But then sometimes I think it's just wishful thinking =/

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WEIGHTING4BABY 6/3/2010 7:25AM

    That happened to me too. I am still wearing the same work clothes I was wearing in Nov. I suspect I will still be wearing them until atleast 25-30 more lbs...

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ROWDYRILEY 6/3/2010 6:41AM

    Another way to think of the 24 lost 9% of your body weight!!!! That's emoticon emoticon even! Maybe gaining those couple of pounds is just what you needed to help solidify that you don't want to go backwards ever again. emoticon

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WATRUMP 6/3/2010 6:11AM

    go to the store and take some pictures of things that weigh 24 pounds....20 pound bag of dog food.....five 5 pound bags of sugar....etc....24 pounds is amazed..woohoo

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So who has a WII Fit?

Monday, May 31, 2010

I honestly don't know much about them, but I keep hearing about people who just love them. So if you have one, do you like it? What kinda games did you get for it? I don't even have a WII, I mean I could buy a video game or two if I went through with it and got one. But if I did get a Wii, the wii fit is the primary focus. I'd have to save it for a big reward though, cause that is kind of a big purchase. But I thought I'd get some feedback on it first, and who better to ask then my fellow sparkers? :D

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEIGHTING4BABY 6/3/2010 7:22AM

    all i know is that I want

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STEPH-KNEE 6/3/2010 5:45AM

    Thank you all for your input!! I think this is something I want, but I kinda feel I need to "earn it" first. Maybe this will the jump I need to get going again on this weight loss. :)

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NEWNAC304 5/31/2010 1:41PM

    I have one a absolutely love it. It doesn't burn as many calories as doing a regular cardio workout, but it's fun and it does burn some calories.

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FITKAT2010 5/31/2010 7:50AM

    I purchased the Wii fit + and all the bells and whistles. This is the next thing on my fitness program Fun and fitness bundled together.

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DANIELWIFEY 5/31/2010 7:13AM

    We have one. We actually got the Wii a few years ago as a toy for my husband. I slowly built up a arsenal of exercise games (my favorite was My Fitness Coach 1...still a great game), but we got the Wii Fit Plus this month. I like it a lot. I have a strength training routine set up, and I like the free step option so I can step while watching TV. I don't think it's a substitute for other regular exercise---I still run 3x a week---but I think it's a good, and fun, supplement.

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HAPPYMAPY 5/31/2010 6:31AM

    We have the Wii Fit Plus with Balance Board. I love it (when I use it)...There's an obstacle course that really gets the heart rate going, obstacle courses/races that simulate a running race, biking race, and use a Segway on a beach, even a snowball fight!!!The bowling is fun, but it doesn't get the heart rate up and neither does the golf. But they are pretty neat games anyway!!

Good luck making your decision!!

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STRONGERLEANER 5/31/2010 12:58AM

    We have one but rarely use it. It's fun but I feel like the exercises have a lot of stopping and starting. My son loves it!

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ROXY415 5/31/2010 12:48AM

    We have one. we love it, the games we have are the WII FIT PLUS with Balance board, Bass pro shop fishing game, we have the game that came with it, i love the Bowling game and my friends have Rock Band for WII and Guitar Hero. This game system makes you use your body.

I LOVE IT!!! emoticon

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Beyond Done-sies (And TMI Alert)!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I just got back from 10 days visiting my Gammie (grandma) in Vegas. We had a blast. We went to a Carrie Underwood concert, and gambled, shopped, did puzzles, it was fun. I didn't hit one buffet while I was there... surprisingly I don't care for those too much LOL. I'd rather just have my burger and fries or whatever and call it a day. Needless to say I didn't bother sticking to any plan. We ate out a lot, almost to the point where nothing sounded good ha ha!

Here comes the TMI Alert though. So the squeemish (spelling?!) can turn away now ;) I felt sooooooooooooo icky. I had burgers, and chicken and french fries.. it was all pretty much fast food. What is funny is, the reason I am so overweight to begin with is because I constantly ate fast food. So I don't know how this was any different. But my stomach hurt and I had the worst gas ever. (Told ya, TMI ;) It was out of control. Luckily it was just my grandma, so she doesn't care, but it was ridiculous.

On top of that, I had some hardcore realizations while I was there. I always joke with my Gammie (who is overweight herself) that Vegas is the only place I feel skinny. I live in LA, and although it depends on where you go, you typically see nothing but skinny people. So I always end up sticking out like a sore thumb. Well if you are on the Vegas Strip, it is a lot of those skinny stick people. But my Gammie and I go to the casino by her house, and that is where the "locals" go. I would never make fun of another persons weight, so please don't think I mean it like that... but that is why I have said in the past it makes me feel skinny. But the reality of it was, seeing all these people who outweighed me by at least 100 pounds, I was terrified. I felt bad for them knowing they are going through the struggle that I am. But it was also an eye opener for me. If I throw in the towel now at around 250ish.. (started this journey at 272) I will be right up there at 300 pounds and beyond. It just scares me because I crumble easily. I have known people over 300 pounds who have fought their way back and lost amazing amounts of weight, and continue to do so. But I worry about that if that were *me*, I would never find that strength to change. I have a horrible time even now being 250. I always go back to when I was 200 for so long, and if I had tackled it then I wouldn't be in the position I am in now.

So needless to say, I am done-sies. I can't go on living like this. I was shocked that I didn't really enjoy the food I was eating. At one point I was sick of the fast food and just wanted a frozen burrito lol. I felt like I had eaten everything, jack in the box, carls jr, in n out, del taco... and I realized it was just food. Did it taste good? Sure. But the gross feeling I got after and the fact it honestly hurt my stomach made me realize it's just not worth it. Not to mention that the $$$ really adds up when you are eating out all the time.

I am going back to see my Gammie in the first week of November for sure... I might go sooner depending on a lot of things... but I want to lose some more weight before I go back there. I'm not gonna sit here and make all these goals because I have been really crappy about following them. For right now I just want to focus starting to track my food, and starting up the exercise again. Then I will go from there. But this trip really made me realize that no food is worth feeling the way I feel right now... and that if I don't do something now, I will be up over 300 pounds in no time at all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLSAUNDE1 5/29/2010 7:56AM

    Good for you! Great blog. emoticon

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CHICAT63 5/27/2010 2:16PM

    Great realization isn't it? Myself the other day let myself eat something fried, whoa I was gassy and felt sick. Woohoo for being done, you can do this !!!!! Next time you visit your Grandma I am sure there will be less of you. emoticon

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WEIGHTING4BABY 5/27/2010 6:55AM

    I've been saying it for a couple of days long as the TREND is downward we're good!!:)

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EVILKLOWN 5/27/2010 6:42AM

    Looks like you and I started at about the same weight. The day I found Spark I started using the nutrition tracker to manage calories. Today is my 490th day. Good luck to you!

I had a daughter like you ... with the fast food/gas issue. Poor kid. Once we put two and two together she wasn't allowed anywhere NEAR the chicken mcnuggets on car trips.

Comment edited on: 5/27/2010 6:43:21 AM

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EARTHNUT 5/27/2010 2:36AM

    Yeah, I gave up burgers when I became a vegetarian many years ago, and the few times I've had them since, they just tasted nasty to me! I like the occasional french fries, but I can't imagine eating fast food every day, it would make me feel so bloated and sick! Funny how your tastes can change so dramatically!

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I have decided I refuse to settle...

Friday, May 14, 2010

First off, a side note... I honestly want to say thank you to anyone who has ever commented on my spark page or spark blogs. It truly means a lot to see a comment. I've noticed quite a few people mentioning they never get respones to their stuff... and so I am EXTRA thankful to those who take the time to comment! :D

I decided just the other day that I refuse to settle for being the fat girl. Now I know that may sound silly that I *just* decided this the other day. I have been trying to lose weight for a very long time, so isn't that the same thing? Honestly... in my mind I have this fear that no matter how much I lose I will always *feel* like the fat girl. Now I must say, I could care less what other people think of me or my weight. Even the skinniest people in the world have someone who thinks thhey are fat... so that part doesn't phase me. I just worry that even at 150 I will still *feel* like the fat girl, and that scares me.

Lately I have been thinking that I *might* feel really good at 180. I don't want to settle for that weight, but I haven't been under 200 pounds for at least 5 years. Just getting under 200 is going to be a huge accomplishment for me if I can pull it off. If I feel great at 180, then yay, that's amazing. But I decided the other day I will not settle for feeling like the fat girl. So my weight loss goal up until this point has been 150. Then it was get to 180 and see what happens and try and go for more. At this point my new weight loss goal is "the number that appears on the scale when I am feeling great about myself." I want to feel great about the way I look, I want to feel good on the inside, and I want to be able to do normal activities without getting totally out of breath. I don't want to worry about finding clothes that fit, and I don't want to worry about "will I fit in that booth?", "will I fit on that roller coaster?" So that is my new weight loss goal. I know in my heart that it'll fall somewhere between 150-180... but I will know it when I get there.

I haven't been doing great by any means lately, but I fully refuse to settle for being the fat girl for the rest of my life. So I am hoping this is the beginning of a new attitude and way of thinking. :D

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALITTLERUSTY 5/20/2010 9:50PM

    I agree on the small goals. I'm setting small goals for myself. I'm doing 10% of my starting weight as my first goal, and I'll set another goal after that. Even if you broke it into 10% increments of what you are aiming to lose - it will be easier. I've made it well past 5% of my starting weight, but when I got there, I thought to myself "Okay, you've done it, now do it one more time and you'll be at 10%" To me it makes things easier at least.

You can do it. It just takes time and effort.

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CHICAT63 5/14/2010 9:06AM

    Small steps and goals are the best, if not you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just myself I realized I was not going to attain losing 100 pounds in one year I started this journey in July of last year and in early May my weight loss was 55 pounds. At times you need to refocus and renergize, slowly but surely. Have a good time in Vegas by the way, take care. emoticon

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JOCHEBED1 5/14/2010 3:53AM

    its a good way to look at your circumstances :D Just set small goals...5 lbs, 10lbs etc then when you reach it...set your goals again. I have been trying to lose like 15-20 lbs for a long time and havent had success. Well, i started before the hoildays then after i had a hard time picking back aside from just walking with my exercise. But now i am motivated again and i am exercising at least every other day or more so more results hopefully. My encouragement would be to not give up even in the lulls. Always have your mind set that you will do it even if takes a few years. Some progress is better than none! God bless you! :D

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