Monday, April 26, 2010
It's not even what you think, I got caught by the food police while eating healthy food. If you saw my other BLOG, I had a friend who wanted me to go on a super strict, no processed food, no sodium diet. I have already told her that I am no longer on the diet, so she would get off my back. It is true, I am off the diet, because as we all know diets don't work anyways. But I have been eating a lot of the foods that she suggested for her "diet". She caught me eating the food, and she got all excited again.
Mind you, I just want her to leave me alone LOL. She is like 'what are you eating there?' I tried to say quickly that I had previously told her that I wasn't able to do it *strict*, and she didn't say much.
Later she cornered me, and she was asking me if I was going to do the diet. I told her no... I said I told her I couldn't do it strict, and made a joke about it being too hard. She is my friend (believe it or not) lol, and so the conversation wasn't vicious. But she just went back to the 'if you aren't gonna do it strict, why do it all.' I told her I didn't mind counting calories and what not (I wanted to saying eating healthy, but she doesn't listen anyways), and she is like that is not gonna work blah blah blah. I just laughed. I said 'it may not work AS FAST as your diet, but it definitely works...' and I just got out of the conversation. I was done-sies.
^That was all yesterday.
So then today she sees me with a diet coke, and she was like 'is that a diet coke you are drinking? naughty girl haha!!' I just responded with 'I told you I wasn't doing your diet silly.' I just sort of scurried away after that.
She has a short attention span, so another week or so and she will hopefully have forgotten all about it;)
In other news I stepped on the scale this morning to reveal a 249.2, which is the lowest I've been in at least two years!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I will never truly understand why we tend to be so much harder on ourselves. I have lost 20 pounds in about 6 months, and instead of being proud I am disappointed. I know my body, and I know if I were consistent, I would have lost at least double that in the last 6 months. I constantly tell myself I have ONLY lost 20 pounds. But what is funny is, if anyone else told me they lost 20 pounds (even 5 or 10 for that matter), I am super happy for them, super excited, and super proud. The fact that anyone can take the proper steps and drop any form of weight is a great accomplishment. But when it comes to myself, I always am harsh, and think of how I could have done more, and could have done better. I am working on that.
I hovered around 260 for about a year. I go through these *phases* where I try and lose weight, then I give up, gain more, and go throught he 'I don't care phase.' No mind you, even in the I don't care phase, I am still miserable about my weight... but I don't take any action I against. I just go with the flow. Well my I don't care phase lasted about a year. A year of no exercise, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I stayed at 260 that entire year. I was never thrilled with the number, but I got so used to seeing it I didn't think about it.
One day in probably September I got on the scale and saw a number of 272, I was mortified! I wasn't mortified so much at the fact I had gained the 12 pounds, but the fact that I was now 28 pounds away from 300 was a total shock to me. I started honestly *trying* to lose weight in November, and I have slacked off and on throughout this entire journey. I am trying to pick up and get moving and trying to be consistent and form this healthy lifestyle we all want.
I finally realized today, that I may have *only* lost 20 pounds so far, and still have 70-100 to go, but I could still be 272 today. Even worse, I could be 300 today if I didn't take any action and kept down the path I was on. So I am *finally* proud to say I am glad I have lost 20 pounds, and I can't wait for the next 20, and the 20 after that;)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I hate them with a passion LOL. The problem with me is I am far too open. I have come a long way and have gotten better at trying to keep my big mouth shut. The problem is, I end up announcing my plans to people, and then when I break them, I get lectured. Now, I do totally suck for breaking plans... but I still haven't thrown in the towel for this weight loss journey. This is probably the longest I've gone without throwing in the towel. I'm at about 6 months now, and while I am disappointed I've only lost about 20 pounds (at my weight it should have been a lot more), I am proud that I haven't thrown in the towel. About this time I would just say forget it, and start reverting back to old ways.
My friend I mentioned previously, who lectured me on being strict, eating pretty much 0 sodium and no processed food is still on my back. I just want her to leave me alone, so I just told her I was so over it. The truth? I am not going to do it strict, but I did like the idea of eating 5-6 small meals, I did like the fact I'm supposed to have a protein, good carb and veggies. I did like trying to eat lower sodium foods... and I have just prepared (and am still preparing) red potatoes, hardboiled eggs (for breakfast) and veggies for the week. But I am not even going to bring it up, because even if she sees me eating those things I know she will say "You aren't going to do it strict, so what's the point?" She will never understand that just getting me to eat 5-6 small meals is a break through in itself.
Did I go out to dinner tonight? Yes. Did I splurge? Yes. I'm about to go to the food tracker and access the damage LOL, but the difference is that I am going to log the food... the "old me" would have just said don't worry about it, what's done is done. But I do want to see where I stand... I am now to a point where I want to *own* what I've done. I want to see it, learn from it, and do better.
So food police, leave me alone... I don't need a lecture, I don't need you to ask if I *should* be eating that... don't worry about me. I have come a long way... maybe not in *actual weight loss*, but in building and shaping a new *me*!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I started *this* weight loss journey at 272. I say *this* weight loss journey because there have been countless others. My body stayed at 255 for what seemed like ever. I finally got as low as 250.4 before bouncing back up to the 255 range. It was very frustrating, and time consuming, but this morning I got on the scale to reveal 249.8! I know I'm just *barely* under 250, but this is a huge motivator for me to keep going! Hopefully soon enough I will be posting about how I am 239.8 :) Oh and I'm still on TOM, so I'm hoping for the best.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
So my friend told me about this "diet" she does and you drop a lot of weight really quickly. Basically the guidelines were *no* processed foods, almost no sodium, eating small meals etc. She said 100 ounces of water, and she told me 2839028 times 'It's only gonna work if you do it strict, if you cheat even a little bit you may as well not do it!' She drove me crazy. She brainwashed me into thinking it was all or nothing.
I told her I didn't do it strict strict and she made a joke about the time she wasted telling me about it. What she doesn't understand is, I used a lot of her guidelines. I made boneless skinless chicken breast with Mrs. Dash marinade, so no salt... I ate whole wheat rice or red potatoes as my carb, and lots of veggies. I had small meals, etc.
However: It was Dispatcher's Week Celebration at work, luckily I only worked 3 of those days. 1 day we had pizza... I had two slices, one day we were given money to buy dinner and I had IHOP, which I had chicken strips and fries (very bad, I know;) and the third day was nachos.
Did I follow her diet *strict*? No, however I *am* 3 pounds down, and currently on my TOM which I typically gain 5 pounds during it. So I wanted to say to her 'I may not have done it your way, but I still lost some weight, and I was able to eat some yummy stuff.' But I figured it's easier just to let her think I've failed, I don't like having food police on my trail (I work with her btw). What she doesn't know is the food I ate today and yesterday was exactly what was on her strict diet ha ha. I don't mind eating healthy, but if I have to live off of this stuff, I'd never make it.
So I'm doing it my way, and tough noogies for her ;)
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