STEPH-KNEE   73,340
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Snap Out Of It!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

emoticon Warning: Tough love ahead! This is from myself to myself, this is just for my accountability and will probably have no interest for anyone else but if you are that bored you are more than welcome to read it ha ha! It might be a tad harsh in places, but it comes from a good place and I'm sturdy I can take it. emoticon



So apparently the last couple of reality checks fell on deaf ears. I see a lot of talk with no action. I keep hearing the following:

"I really need to stop eating like this... emoticon "

"I need to try harder to have better days."

"I am frustrated that I keep doing this, I'll do better tomorrow..."

Funny though, the thoughts are all there, even the action plans aren't too shabby, but then day in and day out you keep making poor choices. Why are you making these choices? I think it's a mixture of a few different reasons....

I think part of it is that you are so close to your goal weight (within 30 pounds) that you are getting nervous about getting to your goal and getting to maintenance. I also know that you plan on having a tummy tuck, and even though it is something you want it is also something super scary. I mean surgery, pain?! *SHRIEKS IN HORROR* I think sometimes you prolong this whole weight loss gig because of your future plans. Well knock it off! Don't worry about what you may or may not chose to do a year from now. Don't sabotage yourself just because you are afraid to reach your goals. I know you are afraid of what might change as you continue losing this weight. You have already lost a "best friend" because of your choices to lose weight, what else might you lose as you lose the rest of this weight? Your true friends and family will love you no matter what, so just remember the people that count will always be there for you. I know you worry that you don't know how to be a "normal sized" person, but I have a feeling it really isn't much different, other than the part where it's less physically exhausting because you don't have to lug around the extra weight. No matter what being "normal sized" might entail, I know you can figure it out!

I also know that "it's the Holidays" and that you absolutely love food. But is that an excuse? Not really. There are tons of people who love food and love the Holidays and enjoy them without gaining weight. There are even those Super Stars who lose weight during the holidays. Now I'm not going to lie to you, Holiday time does present extra obstacles, but with careful planning you could overcome it, you just simply chose not to.

I didn't want to go there, but today was the perfect example. You enjoyed lunch out with your Gammie and your Mom, you even shared some dessert with them. You indulged, but that really wasn't a huge deal. You could have easily been VERY careful the rest of the day and come out with a fairly decent day... but instead you used the idea that the day was already in the toilet, so why not just eat something super unhealthy for dinner too? In fact, I couldn't help but notice that you really let your healthy habits go out the window. You didn't weigh or track your food like you normally do. I have seen you use that food scale almost everyday for a year... so I know that you know how, again you CHOSE not to.

This weight loss journey is all about choices. Each day, each meal, each workout you chose to do or not is all based on your choices. No one can do this for you. You have support, you have the best Spark Friends in the world that continue to encourage you, but they can't do the work for you. They can't prepare your meals and slap unhealthy foods out of your hands... they can't come over and stand over you while you do your workout. They offer advice and support but you need to take that and do the work.

I feel like I shouldn't be having to tell you this right now... do you realize how awesome you are? You have lost 80 pounds! Not only have you lost the weight you have done it your way, on your own terms! How cool is that? You didn't follow any plans, you found a way that works for you and you put a lot of time and effort into it. You made some bad choices along the way but you made more good choices and that is what got you to where you are. So why do you continue to make bad choices? What is the benefit you are getting? I know you think the food is yummy, and I can imagine it tastes good... but does it make you feel good? I know it doesn't because you keep telling yourself you won't continue down this path, but you keep doing it. I know you aren't quitting but is being off track for an extended period of time just a stones throw away from quitting? It just might be! I have faith in you, and I know you will snap out of this, but I just really needed to express my concern for you right now. The pounds aren't piling themselves back on but it just looks like that is where you are headed, so if I could do anything to prevent it, I had to at least try! emoticon



Okay, I'm done talking to myself now. It might seem silly but it has helped me in the past, and all I know is I REALLY need the help right now. I will always fight for this, but I really need to start winning some of the battles. I have had months at a time where this was second nature to me and so easy, and I have had weeks where it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know if I can make it past this rough time that I will find my way back to where things come easily. I just need to do the work to get back to that happy place. :) emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORIVIOLA 4/12/2014 8:12AM

    Thank you for sharing this awesome blog.
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GRAMPIAN 2/2/2014 5:43AM

  A good dose of common sense! emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 1/11/2014 8:02PM

    Accepting your faults and downfall make it so much easier to move head Thanks for sharing and pointing out some of my own eaknesses and doubts

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SAMMI-SAM 12/16/2013 8:03PM

    emoticon

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CAROLINAKIWI 12/13/2013 4:56PM

    That is a conversation I should be having with myself - including " a whole can of whoop ass!" It just seems like I continue to sabotage myself. Hang in there! I will try to do the same.

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MRSRIGS1 12/9/2013 12:18PM

    emoticon

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KIN59VARA 12/7/2013 5:29PM

    I love your pictures.

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EFFRAYECHILDE 12/4/2013 12:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ADF1981 12/3/2013 7:42PM

    Awww! I know you've been having a rough time with it all. It does sound like part of the issue maybe that you are afraid of the future. Just remember what you said about taking it one day at a time. Like, you may want the tummy tuck but if it scares you just maybe say you will cross that bridge when you get there. It might not be as bad as you think and you may decide not to do the surgery.

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WWGAL2 11/29/2013 9:02AM

  i just stumbled across this blog and i am so glad i did.
i needed to hear all of this for myself. i felt like you were talking to me. we know what we need to do, but sometimes we are like a stubborn little child who just doesn't want to do it.
listen to what you told yourself because it was done in a spirit of love and concern. just do it.
and thanks for sharing.

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KIPPER15 11/28/2013 6:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 11/26/2013 5:22PM

    Once again you have delivered just what I needed to hear!

I am headed to my mom's tonight to help set up for Thanksgiving dinner and I was thinking I might just stop for a snack to tide me over until dinner at her place in a hour or so. Duh, I think I can last 1 hour without a snack that would be unhealthy and would most likely lead to a full scale binge later!

So I am having some fizzy water instead and packing up my food scale . I am determined to focus on everything that I can do to lose the 6 or 8 pounds that I have put back on in the last 2 months of poor choices. And I plan to ring in the new year feeling good about all of the smart choices I made in December. emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/26/2013 10:45:33 PM

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SUNNYBEACHGIRL 11/26/2013 10:01AM

    Sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself so you can continue the journey

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WENDYANNE61 11/26/2013 7:03AM

    Gosh - that really gave me a boot up the .....! Just what I needed to read while heading towards Christmas and all its dales and valleys! Hope you get to that happy place really soon!

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KAB7801 11/26/2013 6:42AM

    emoticon
But don't beat yourself up too bad!
One day at a time

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/25/2013 9:54PM

    emoticon m emoticon I had to have one of these discussions with myself about exercising. I was off track for months. Luckily I have gone back to the gym and pool but it was difficult. Tough love is not just for our children.

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GARVCO 11/25/2013 8:12PM

    Love what you had to say about choices...that is so right.

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MSGRANNYMAE 11/25/2013 7:25PM

    emoticon

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SCUBAMUM 11/25/2013 6:47PM

    Exactly what I needed to hear right now! We can do this TOGETHER! Don't let me down, and I won't let you down - deal?
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IN102WIN 11/25/2013 6:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RENATA144 11/25/2013 6:34PM

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2ABBYNORMAL 11/25/2013 5:16PM

    Great blog!
How did you get in my head? lol
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TAYGRL 11/25/2013 5:10PM

    I find myself irresistibly drawn to your virtual "kicks in the pants". Please pardon me while I "borrow" them.

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KANOE10 11/25/2013 4:29PM

    You have developed your own eating plan and it worked. I know you will get through this rough patch and feel more motivated. Sometimes I tell myself not to be lazy and get to that gym. You can do it.
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MSROZZIE 11/25/2013 4:23PM

    emoticon emoticon Stay focused on your goals! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOD1962 11/25/2013 3:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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1DERLAND14 11/25/2013 3:10PM

    Great blog!! emoticon

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JRRING 11/25/2013 3:06PM

  emoticon

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DONNA91730 11/25/2013 2:26PM

    Nodded though every word. Have had the same talks with myself so many times. I'm finally doing what I need to do once I decided yes, this IS what I want. You will too.

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JENJENN7 11/25/2013 2:18PM

    Thanks for the lecture emoticon
You may have meant it for yourself only but it hits a spot!
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ROXYCARIN 11/25/2013 1:43PM

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KLONG8 11/25/2013 1:14PM

    How relatible was this blog? It was so on the money for me. Thanks for giving yourself a talking to and sharing it for those of us out here that are in the same space. Well done!

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 11/25/2013 1:12PM

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ANNABELLISABEL 11/25/2013 12:20PM

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who does things like this!

Good luck through the holidays!

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PGHP31CK 11/25/2013 11:35AM

    Love your blog! Thank you for sharing so honestly.

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SLIMMINGSHAY 11/25/2013 11:31AM

    Good luck. Don't lose sight of your goals


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PURPLEPEONY 11/25/2013 10:40AM

    I could`ve written this EXACT blog! I`ve lost almost 60lbs. but this past week I`ve been way off track...which is exactly what you said "just a stones throw away from quitting"
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JRTITTLE 11/25/2013 10:20AM

  Thanks for sharing and very well said! It was something I needed to hear!

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PERUSER918 11/25/2013 9:09AM

    Enjoyed your blog.

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IMAGINE46 11/25/2013 8:54AM

  emoticon emoticon

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2BSCOOBIE 11/25/2013 6:47AM

    I think I needed to hear this today! Thank you!!

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KONA509 11/25/2013 6:13AM

    Thank you--the head slap I needed this week!

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BEANIES_MOM 11/25/2013 6:02AM

    Awesome blog! I think that completing the weight loss part of this journey is about the scariest thing there is... I don't know what I will do when I get to my goal weight, but I know that it will be a whole new adventure and that scares the crap out of me lol. You are strong and awesome and capable, so don't ever forget it!

ps.
Thank you for the awesome welcome to Onderland!!! emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 11/25/2013 1:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ASCIESZKA 11/25/2013 1:21AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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BRENDA_G50 11/24/2013 10:04PM

    Are you sure this pep talk wasn't meant for us??? emoticon I'm asking that question because it really hit me up-beside-the-head like a concerned friend or mother would do when they wanted to get your attention..."for your own good".

All I can say is emoticon Thank you for posting this (even if it wasn't aimed at me personally). I really needed to hear this to get off my backside and get back to working on my program like I was a year ago. emoticon

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JAMER123 11/24/2013 9:31PM

    You could be talking about me! I have made it to 96# but not nearing my goal and will need a tummy tuck to rid myself of all the extra skin and adipose tissue!! To both of us and all the others progressing, even like the tortoise, keep up the great work!! We can all do it!!
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DIANNEMT 11/24/2013 6:41PM

    Print this out and keep it handy!! Great words to yourself!

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JSEATTLE 11/24/2013 6:20PM

  We all go through tough times. You are facing yours head-on. But don't be too hard on yourself either. This too will pass and you will be back on track soon.

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JUSGETTENBY42 11/24/2013 4:23PM

    emoticon

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The Epic Battle of Good Vs. Evil & 20 Month Sparkaversary...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013



When there were 49 days left in the year, I decided I would classify each day as good or bad based on my eating... I am now thinking I should rename the bad days evil days, just because it sounds more adorable! I also went ahead and marked 7, YES 7 "free days". This included Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve and 2 of my 7 days in Vegas. I hoped that by feeling like I had a lot of "freedom" coming up that I would really push it to work harder on the other days. Well... it hasn't quite started off like I hoped. My only goal was to have more good days than bad at the end of the year. It sounded simple enough... I originally wanted a streak, but I have been struggling lately so that sounded too overwhelming.

Here's a recap so far:

Day 1: emoticon
Day 2: emoticon
Day 3: emoticon
Day 4: emoticon
Day 5: emoticon
Day 6: emoticon
Day 7: emoticon

As you can see, it's neck and neck with evil slightly in the lead! Still plenty of time to turn it around. My biggest obstacle at the moment is not letting the most recent evil day turn into a cluster. If I can have one evil day for every 3 good days, I will hit my goal with flying colors. My goal is to have the evil days be just one at a time, and to get farther and farther apart. I am learning that there is always going to be bumps in the road, but they can be fewer and farther between.

Day 7 was just awful, in every sense of the word. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong! emoticon As I was telling my Dad about some of it, he sarcastically said "Yep, I get it, the world is out to get you" and I very seriously responded "Yes, you finally understand!" That is how it felt today. I have no excuses for reacting by eating... everyone has bad days, and most people don't need to turn to food just because they have had a stressful day. I am an emotional/stress eater and it is an on going thing I deal with. Sometimes I have it under control, and sometimes I lose to it, this was obviously a battle I lost. But all I can do is learn from it and move forward. Maybe I need to take my learning a little more seriously though LOL. ;)

I also looked into my records, and this is a rough time of year for me (as it is for MANY). I lost no weight last year from Halloween through the end of January. I maintained within a 5 pound range. I started losing again in February but hit another bump in the road in April. It amazes me how much time on this journey I have spent struggling, it doesn't feel like that long. I guess I have blocked out some of the bad times, and there were also a lot of good times to compensate for those bad ones. At the time I remember feeling like a failure, maintaining within 5 pounds instead of losing. I remember being frustrated and upset with myself... but now that I have a little perspective, I think that's pretty darn good. To maintain within a 5 pound range during the holidays and to never give up and to continue to push towards my goals. Now don't get it twisted, I am not saying that so if I maintain through the holidays this year I can say "oh that's okay"... I am really making an effort to lose during the holidays, but at least I know this is my weakest time of year, and I am realizing it is going to take even more work than it usually does. EEK!

emoticon So I am that totally obnoxious girl who keeps referencing how long I've been on my weight loss journey. emoticon It is not to be like "oh look at me, this is how long I've been doing this!" It's to remind me that this journey is different than all my previous weight loss attempts, and to see how long I have been doing this without giving up. I have had TONS of previous weight loss attempts, and none lasted more than 3 months. I have actually been on Spark People off and on since 2009, but it has been 20 consistent months on this journey and logging into Spark almost everyday. Each time I feel like throwing in the towel, I have to remind myself how long and how hard I've been working.I don't want to throw away all that time and work just because "I don't feel like it". So that is a huge NSV for me, to still be here and still fighting for what I want.. and boy has it been a fight lately! emoticon My other NSV was taking a picture of myself and actually liking it and choosing to post it as my profile picture. I remember the day of taking 29 pictures and not liking any of them. I would either not post any at all or I would find the one that wasn't "as bad" as the other. It was such a fresh breath of air to look at a picture I just took and not cringe at the results! So even though I have been having a rough time with my eating, and I am struggling, I can still say I am feeling pretty happy lately and life is pretty good! It's good to be reminded that our happiness should not be linked to our weight or that horrible scale!

I hope everyone has a fabulous day! And here's to making Day 8 a good day! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORIVIOLA 4/11/2014 10:05PM

    emoticon make it a good day!

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GRAMPIAN 1/31/2014 6:20AM

  You're doing well. emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 12/27/2013 11:56PM

    Love the blog and you will make it

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MCJULIEO 12/17/2013 1:22PM

    You are not paranoid if the world really IS out to get you!
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MRSRIGS1 12/7/2013 12:55PM

    I see you as a WINNER! You keep going and going and going cuz you CAN do it! emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 12/2/2013 12:02PM

    emoticon

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LADYSHERRY 11/27/2013 3:09PM

    what is NSV? Good blog emoticon

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KALEWINE 11/24/2013 7:33PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LEANMEAN2 11/24/2013 6:12AM

    Thanks for sharing. We all understand.

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DOLPHINLADY05 11/23/2013 9:18AM

    I really like your story... thanks for sharing!! I have finally learned, this time around, that sometimes those NSVs are the things that will continue to motivate me to keep moving forward with my weight loss journey. I hope you truly enjoy your holidays and that you continue to have awesome successes whether it's through more weight loss or NSVs.

Hugs,
Lori

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CICELY360 11/22/2013 8:26PM

  Good blog

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SUPERDAD55 11/22/2013 7:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I just love your humor, to use emoticon
and emoticon as a tracking tool is a very smart idea.
I love your humor, Keep the faith and emoticon
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JRRING 11/22/2013 4:54PM

  emoticon

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DRPEPPIE121 11/22/2013 3:41PM

    HUZZAH!!! What a good story.

It IS a journey. It is different for us all! I lost 60 pounds between 2005 and 2006...and I've gained (in about 3 years time) 45 of that back! Talk about UGH! It IS a journey...and we'll be doing this together on SP!

Keep it up! Do YOUR BEST. Make it a goal to get moving more during this season...so that way you have something to feel amazing about on the days that your eating might not be so grand. DO YOUR BEST.

YOU.
CAN.
DO.
IT.

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ALI_AFTER 11/22/2013 3:15PM

    You're still here! That is what counts, right?

Haha, I laughed at the evil vampire. What a perfect emoticon for an evil day - sucking away your motivation....;)

Anyway, great blog! You got this.

emoticon

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SLIMMINGSHAY 11/22/2013 2:57PM

    Love the NSV! Great job and kudos for not giving in! You can do it ! You're doing awesome.

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NEWTINK 11/22/2013 2:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 11/22/2013 12:53PM

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JRTITTLE 11/22/2013 10:50AM

  Happy anniversary! emoticon

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ANNABELLISABEL 11/22/2013 10:50AM

    Continuing on IS indeed the most important thing, I would not be where I am now if I had not given up time and time again. So this time will be different and with any luck I will still be on this journey 20 months from now. Thanks for being so honest. :)

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SPARKBJOK 11/22/2013 9:48AM

    You can do it!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 11/22/2013 1:49AM

    emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 11/22/2013 12:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 11/21/2013 11:51PM

  Thank goodness there is always a Day 8 ahead of us to give us promise of another NSV!

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HIMELISSA2007 11/21/2013 11:46PM

    I think i need to figure out these days for me and the pattern too. Youre an inspiration to us. Thank you.

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SUGAR0814 11/21/2013 11:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KITTYCAT64 11/21/2013 10:17PM

    I love your good and evil day.. I call mine perfect day. I have a list of things that if I accomplish,, I feel great. You keep going. You are the best and such an inspiration. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 11/21/2013 9:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I fully understand about being put on hold or as we call it, a plateau! I am on and off many times each yr and can still keep the losses going. Slow but steady or slow and sure gets us where we set our goal for. Hang in and keep up the good work!!


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CLAYARTIST 11/21/2013 9:52PM

  emoticon

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SUSIEMT 11/21/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon I think you are doing a great job. Keep it up and soon
the good days will outweigh those evil days!

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JMARIES51 11/21/2013 8:42PM

    emoticon emoticon Love your plan of the free days. That must make you feel an amount of freedom.

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SPARKLINGME176 11/21/2013 8:05PM

    Fabulous blog! Thanks!

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SCHADWE 11/21/2013 6:18PM

    emoticon We all have to work hard during the holidays, no matter what time of year they are.

But you have the power and the commitment. Keep it going and I know those positive days will outweigh the bad.

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PATRICIAANN46 11/21/2013 5:13PM

  You are doing a wonderful Job. Keep up your fantastic attitude and the good days will definitely outnumber the bad. I wish you the emoticon

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DIANNEMT 11/21/2013 5:05PM

    This is a rough time for ALL OF US! So--you are doing great!

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CORNERKICK 11/21/2013 2:27PM

  emoticon

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LCRUMLEY81 11/21/2013 2:23PM

  keep up the great outlook...its hard but so worth it

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ROCKYCPA 11/21/2013 2:19PM

    What a great way to track how you are doing - I am sure in the end the good will win over the evil. You can do it!

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NONNAOF2 11/21/2013 2:11PM

  You're not going through this journey alone, we all go through it each and every day, there will always be obstacles to over come, but you are doing great, just keep moving ahead! :-)

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MOVEITMARY 11/21/2013 12:53PM

    You have hit on the key - climbing back out of the hole when one "evil day" has turned into a string of them.

And that's why we are here on SP... sometimes we need a little help... and that's OK.
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SUPERSYLPH 11/21/2013 12:24PM

    emoticon

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NIKKIJ55 11/21/2013 11:52AM

    You are doing an awesome job and will be able to sustain it! emoticon

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TRUNKJUNK 11/21/2013 11:49AM

    Steph
I believe your good days will outweigh your bad days. I have faith in you

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LSIG14 11/21/2013 11:47AM

  I love the idea of using icons to graphically illustrate patterns although I hesitate to call them "evil days.' I guess I would call them great days and less successful days since I am really working on my negative self-talk! Thanks for sharing your countdown calendar - maybe I'll set one up on my fridge right now - with stickers!!!

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TRUNKJUNK 11/21/2013 11:47AM

    Steph
I believe your good days will outweigh your evil days. I have faith in you

emoticon emoticon

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LOOD1962 11/21/2013 11:46AM

    emoticon emoticon Have a emoticon day.

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TAYGRL 11/21/2013 11:46AM

    I think you have the best attitude EVah. It is very much like my own so I find myself reverberating your sentiments on a regular basis. Thanks for keeping it real!

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SDEHNKE 11/21/2013 11:35AM

    I don't look at this journey as having a beginning and an end. I think that's where I've fallen off the path before. I have to fight this fight for the rest of my life. I'm tired of losing 30, 40, or 50 pounds and putting it back on. I even lost 90 pounds once and was in tremendous shape and then gave up again. Here's to many more Spark Anniversaries! emoticon That means we haven't given up!

Suellen


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THOMS1 11/21/2013 11:30AM

    I think you are doing a great job. Keep it up and soon the good days will outweigh those so called evil days. emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 11/21/2013 11:25AM

    emoticon

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Back To Basics, Cute Boots & "Curvy Skinny Jeans"...

Sunday, November 17, 2013



It has been no secret that I have been struggling lately. It is amazing how time can fly when you are off track. I told my friend a couple days ago that I had been eating like a pig for about a week. Then I realized it was actually two weeks! emoticon *DOH* I have been off track food wise since Halloween and the time was just flying on by without me even realizing it! Things started going downhill when I started trying to make this harder than it is. Weight loss is hard enough on it's own, why was I making it even more complicated?

I am now almost 20 months in (it does me good to keep track of how long, so I remember not to give up and throw away all of that time), and my plan and way of doing things was just fine. Was it a fancy plan? No. Was it the healthiest plan? I am the first to say no, my food choices were not always top notch. emoticon But it worked for me, I stuck with it longer than I have ever stuck with a weight loss "program" in the past, and I have lost more weight than I ever have before. So why did I keep trying to change it?

It is so hard, seeing all these new plans, exercises, ways of eating... you just get so over run with all this new information you start to question everything. I am always wondering in the back of my mind if there is a better, quicker, faster way to get this weight off. Between you and me I am sure that there are "faster and quicker" ways... but are they really better? I am learning that the best plan is the one that I can do and that I can stick with. I am done listening to other people telling me I simply must "try their plan"... I know in most cases they are so excited with their results that they can't help but pass out that information to everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. I love learning about other peoples plans and what is working for them, but that doesn't mean I need to try their plan or make it my plan.

So I am getting back to basics, I am getting back to what worked for me and what keeps me sane in this long and sometimes tedious weight loss journey! I have identified my major problem these last 2 weeks and it is eating at the end of the night. My bed time is 5 or 6 am, and I have noticed that 2 - 4 am is the emoticon zone! That is when I want to eat, for the sake of eating. That is when the self saboteur senses I am at my weakest moment and I run to the kitchen and blow my hard days work in the matter of 20 minutes. How frustrating. That stops today. As of today, the kitchen is off limits as of 2 am. With my work schedule dinner is sometimes at 1 am, so this is perfect timing. Not only is the kitchen off limits at that time, but I will be either doing an exercise dvd or occupying my time somewhere far away from the kitchen so that I don't get tempted.

Not weighing in on the scale and not being a part of any weight loss challenges has really taken the stress out of this and I feel like I can just focus on me.

I also got some boots that I love and can actually walk in! Between being clumsy and having bad knees and a bad ankle, I have to be very choosy on the kind of shoes I get. I was able to walk in these with ease and they were actually pretty comfy!


These boots lead me to buy some new jeans, because most of mine flare out at the bottom and obviously I don't want those beauties covered up. The store had something called "curvy skinny jeans", I am pretty sure that makes no sense, but I didn't question it too much. I tried them on in a size 14 and I can pull them up I just can't zip or button as I am currently in a 16. I loved the jeans so much that I bought them in a 12 as well... that way I can remind myself that while getting into the size 14 is going to be exciting, it isn't my final destination. Since I am not weighing myself, trying these on periodically will be a great way to check out my progress. I look forward to posting a picture down the road when I can finally get into them! After being a size 24, 14 sounds too good to be true.

So back to basics, back to what works, no more nonsense and no more wasting time. If I want my weigh in on January 1st to still be in Onederland and not back in Twoterville, I need to get a grip!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIJ7 4/26/2014 1:02PM

    I love your optimism!

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GRAMPIAN 1/27/2014 6:14AM

  Good luck! emoticon

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MRSRIGS1 12/6/2013 12:37PM

    emoticon Love the boots!

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EFFRAYECHILDE 11/29/2013 2:36PM

    emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 11/23/2013 1:30PM

    CONGRATULATIONS ON FINDING YOUR WAY BACK FROM BINGEVILLE. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. YOU DESERVE THOSE SIZE 12'S. ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EJSELHORST 11/21/2013 8:42AM

    Great post! Love the boots! emoticon

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JRTITTLE 11/20/2013 7:54PM

  Super cute boots! And congrats on your journey so far!

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SUPERMODEL2BE 11/20/2013 2:05PM

    Thanks!

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JRRING 11/20/2013 10:18AM

  emoticon

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1DRWOMAN 11/19/2013 11:50PM

    love love love this blog! thank you for sharing! Love the boots and you are right...do what works for you and what you can do for life and still reach your goals! listen to your gut! xoxo

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ALI_AFTER 11/19/2013 11:35PM

    Great blog! You can do this, and can't wait to see a picture of you rocking those size 12s.

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CICELY360 11/19/2013 9:58PM

  Good blog

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KAB7801 11/19/2013 9:11PM

    I totally understand still trying to get on track!

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 11/19/2013 7:36PM

  emoticon

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BARB4HEALTH 11/19/2013 5:00PM

    Love the boots! Skinny, curvy jeans, full speed ahead!
emoticon on what you have done so far!

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HEYRED221 11/19/2013 3:35PM

    Great way to keep yourself motivated. emoticon

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LEWASKO 11/19/2013 2:37PM

    Great Blog!! You are so right! Do what what works for you! Nobody can tell you what that is, only YOU know! Great job for being so persistant, even when you have lapses it's so great that you still feel like you are IN IT to win it.

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MOTIVATIONFOUND 11/19/2013 12:24PM

    I have caught myself doing the same thing many times - hearing or reading about what has worked for someone else and thinking/wondering if XYZ plan would be "better" or faster or if I should just stick with what I know. I do believe that I should step out of my comfort zone from time to time, so depending on what it is, I'll sometimes give it a try, or try to incorporate it into what I'm already doing to try and kick things up a notch.

But really, the bottom line has never changed in what's effective for me. My "back to basics" are to log in to SP every day, track and log ALL my food/beverages (making sure to stay within range), exercise five days a week, blog regularly and stay in touch with SparkFriends. All of those things help me to succeed because I'm being accountable to myself as well as the to inspirational, motivational group of people I've found here...you definitely being one of them!! :)

Another great one! Thank you so much for sharing.

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TRUNKJUNK 11/19/2013 12:00PM

    Those are some pretty sharp looking boots. I bet when you put them on with your curvy skinny jeans and a nice colorful top you'll look emoticon


emoticon emoticon

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LPRUNWALK 11/19/2013 11:14AM

    Those are the best boots EVER. I can't tell you how much I love and want them. Beautiful. And you just know those oxymoronic curvy skinny jeans are going to look amazing when you can finally zip them up. Stay focused! You can do this!

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TRIXIETEXAS 11/19/2013 10:57AM

    You have the right mindset, you will reach your goal! Back to basics is good!

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JURORI 11/19/2013 9:30AM

    Everyone slips, it's what we do after we slip-up that's really important. It sounds to me like you'll be just fine. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

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SISSY_24 11/19/2013 8:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 11/19/2013 2:19AM

  emoticon

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WEEPINGANGEL74 11/19/2013 1:28AM

    You blogged about me!! Okay, I know you didn't but a lot of what you said could have been me and I so relate. Just moments ago, I was in the kitchen and had the munchies for no particular reason and i'm not hungry. Lucky for me there is no munchie food in my house anymore. You are doing great and have made such great progress, don't throw those 20 months of hard work and dedication away. You can get to your goals, you can do this!!

Okay.... where did you find those boots?!?! I have been looking for some like that for a couple years and can't find ones that fit my legs... Care to share? emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 11/19/2013 1:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JIBBIE49 11/19/2013 12:31AM

    Hugs

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JSEATTLE 11/18/2013 11:29PM

  Size 14 is definitely in your future! Reality can be harsh but you have it going! Keep it real and keep on going!

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KIM22211 11/18/2013 11:16PM

    because I am so flabalicious in my gut I am able to maneuver the flab in a way to get into a 10. They are snug but not so much that I can't be seen in public in them! But it is depressing that I have some really cute size 14 shorts that I am not going to be able to get any use out of them now. I refuse to go out and buy more 10's though because it is not my final destination! So I go around in clothes that are too big most of the time. When I get another 25 off, then I will look at getting some new hot clothes for the spring/summer! My kitchen is also closed off by 1am as I work nights

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SUPERDAD55 11/18/2013 11:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSGETTENBY42 11/18/2013 10:43PM

    emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 11/18/2013 10:24PM

    We have been on a parallel journey lately! I will join you with a commitment to getting back to basics as well. After 7 months of following my food plan , checking in here like clockwork and exercising consistently, suddenly I am playing games and I am not happy with the direction I am going either. Your blogs in the last week or so have motivated me to GET BACK IN THE GAME! Here's to a fresh start doing what we know works. I am a lot older than you but I have cute boots and skinny jeans to motivate me as well. LOL

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SCOUTMOM715 11/18/2013 10:00PM

    Love This blog & those boots!! You go girl!! emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 11/18/2013 9:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JENRAQTAY87 11/18/2013 9:56PM

    Yay! She's back!

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SNOWYOGA 11/18/2013 9:30PM

    emoticon

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PATRICIA441 11/18/2013 9:16PM

  Wow, lots of great feedback. As far as the late night eating or any time you want to eat out of normal time try this! Make a Big Red HALT sign the shape of a Stop Sign. Then think to yourself, H- am I really hungry,the have a 80 cal. yogurt or piece of sugarless gum, I will also brush my teeth with mint toothpaste, A- am I angry-write it down why get over it,food won't change it, L- anm I loney, call someone, visit a neighbor. T and I tired Try and lay back in achair listen to music and unwind, HALT! Hope this helps you out!! Keep pushing girlfriend. You can and will do this. emoticon

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JAMER123 11/18/2013 8:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon as you have and doing what works for you!! Great blog!!

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CHUBBY_MOM 11/18/2013 8:23PM

    You can do it!! emoticon I'm so jealous, loving your boots! emoticon

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MOTHEPRO 11/18/2013 5:10PM

    emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 11/18/2013 1:57PM

  I wish you the very emoticon emoticon

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SJKENT1 11/18/2013 1:51PM

    What a great day!!

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2ABBYNORMAL 11/18/2013 1:46PM

    I saw your blog on the e-mail Spark People Featured Member of the Week and decided to read it.
I'm happy I did.
My husband quotes sayings from Forrest Gump all the time and that saying is so true.
The boots are awesome. The block heels make them easy to walk in. I have had surgery on my back and that's the only heel for height that I can wear. I love them.
Great eye opener to keep to your original plans.
I can't wait to see you in those boots!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NONNAOF2 11/18/2013 1:39PM

  Your totally honest with yourself, so just move on and don't look back! I wish I could wear something with a heel to it, your boots look great and you'll get into those, skinny jeans, I just know you will!! :-)

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NEWTINK 11/18/2013 1:34PM

    emoticon

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INSPIREME99 11/18/2013 12:16PM

    Just love your blog. I could relate, needed the boost and definitely needed the smile. You are too cute. I think I'll just adopt you!! emoticon

The boots are great!!

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LCRUMLEY81 11/18/2013 11:31AM

  Fantastic blog

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LINDAK25 11/18/2013 10:20AM

    You are so right! Find what works for you and stick with it!
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CHRISGORGME 11/18/2013 10:01AM

    I'm glad you found your way back on track! I love the boots! Buying a 12 size jeans was a very good idea, that will keep you motivated!
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SHOAPIE 11/18/2013 9:58AM

    emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Doing What's Right For You & Getting Away From What's Wrong...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013



This weight loss stuff is hard enough without all the outside influences that we have. Do you live with someone who keeps junk in the house? Do you have that friend who won't stop bugging you to go out to dinner? Do you have Negative Nelly's telling you that you can't lose the weight and keep it off? We all have some negative force in our lives, and sometimes that force can be removed entirely, but many times it has to be dealt with on a daily basis.

That is what I am doing today, I am taking back my control of MY journey and I am no longer letting outside forces mess with my mojo. I have been a fan of the Biggest Loser Challenge here on Spark for a long time... I thought it was something I would always do but I was wrong. As I am struggling and trying hard to regain my footing, the thought of letting down a team with my gains was causing me even more stress, which meant even more eating and even more gaining. There are some personal reasons for me leaving mid round, things that were out of my control and the way some things were handled, but those are not to be shared on a public blog.

Another thing was my current war with the scale! I have been a daily weigher for most of my journey. I am the first to say I support daily weighers, and a lot of the time it had positive affects on me. So please, no lecturing on how you aren't supposed to weigh each day, many people do it successfully without issue and EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. But for me, there were the times in between that it would cause me more harm than good. Every couple of weeks if it wasn't doing what I wanted, I would get very down on myself. It was these phases back and forth, the love/hate relationship with the scale and it was making me crazy. emoticon I have put on a few pounds but that is not why I am at war with the scale. The problem was that I would have 2 good days and be hoping that the scale would start dropping. Well that isn't the case and it is going to take a lot more than 2 good days to get it rolling in the right direction. It was very discouraging. The Biggest Loser Challenge requires a weekly weigh in and with someone trying to get away from the scale that is added stress that is only holding me back.

With that, I have decided to give my scale to my brother to take home with him, and I am going to TRY (I can't make any promises emoticon) not to weigh in until January 1st. emoticon This does not mean that I am burying my head in the sand to avoid seeing any possibility of a gain... it is to reprogram my mind. To remember that the scale is not everything! To avoid getting on the scale sometimes 3 times a day and stressing myself out. To pay attention to how my clothes fit. When I was a size 24 I could gain a massive amount of weight without my clothes feeling different. Now with my pants I gain around 7 pounds and I can feel how snug they are. It's great to be able to FEEL what is going on without needing the scale to let me know. It is also going to be a time of focusing on ACTIONS and not weight.

My challenge to myself, is to use the 49 days left in this year to my advantage and to have more good days than bad days. I have assigned "free days" to the following days. Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve & 2 days of my week long Vegas vacation. That comes out to 7 days which is actually a large portion of 49 days. My hope is that by seeing I have a full week to indulge over the course of 49 days, that I will try that much harder on the regular days so that I can come out on top! More good days than bad days is all I am looking for. I wanted a streak, I wanted perfection, but this is about progress not perfection. So goodbye BLC, goodbye scale, goodbye stresses associated with the scale.. and hello good food habits, positive vibes, and lots of exercise! emoticon

So at the end of the day, do what is best for YOU. If someone doesn't have your best interest at heart or is negative... leave them behind. If you can't do that make sure that you stand up for yourself, and never lose sight of what is important for you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 11/24/2013 10:49AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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5KGRANNY 11/22/2013 2:50PM

    Stephanie you have come such a long way!!! emoticon I'm glad you are true to yourself and putting your journey before the stresses others put on you.

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CERTHIA 11/19/2013 2:56AM

    emoticon emoticon
Great plan; good food habits, positive vibes, and lots of exercise! Count me in! I've been slacking lately, I've been in a somewhat dark place, so it's time to get back on track.

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SCOUTMOM715 11/18/2013 9:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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IMAGINE46 11/18/2013 8:56AM

  I know exactly how you feel. Glad you are back on track. emoticon

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JRRING 11/16/2013 11:20AM

  emoticon

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SUEPERWOMAN 11/16/2013 8:39AM

 
Thank you for this!

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WALKIN4JEANIE 11/16/2013 7:31AM

    Well said!

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PLUGINALONG 11/16/2013 7:15AM

    Thanks for sharing a very insightful blog. I, too, need to step back for the scales. So, between all of us Sparkers, we can do it. Keep encouraging each other and we will get there. Happy Day to you.

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SUZIPAM1 11/16/2013 6:17AM

    so true

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KITTYCAT64 11/15/2013 9:57PM

    You are doing great. I am sorry for your struggle with the scale. Been there, done that. But you don't have to be perfect. You just have to show up. Hugs, Cathy

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WORKNPROGRESS49 11/15/2013 8:12PM

    emoticon

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JAYDEE1211 11/15/2013 5:12PM

    We certainly have to find what works for each of us. I too have lost a bit of weight and I still have people telling me how I could do it better. My journey is to reclaim health and movement to become more mindful and present in my life. You have to take advice for what it is and go your own way. Best wishes.

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N2LAW1 11/15/2013 4:02PM

    WELL SAID....HIGH FIVE TO YOU!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RENATA144 11/15/2013 3:51PM

  Absolutely true. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRUDIP1 11/15/2013 3:41PM

    Thank you! Excellent blog. Much helpful info in there. Must read again, and again in a little while. Lots to think about, and lots to implement. You will do great!

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MLEHTO 11/15/2013 3:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRLTAZ 11/15/2013 2:21PM

    You have a plan. Best of luck which you will not need if you follow through. emoticon I hope to see that progress in Jan for you. TC

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ROXYCARIN 11/15/2013 1:58PM

  I agree

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 11/15/2013 1:16PM

  emoticon

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SUZIPAM1 11/15/2013 1:13PM

    well done

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DKSRN626 11/15/2013 12:22PM

    emoticon emoticon
I needed this blog today! I think you have found the true essence of life. We all need to take control and respondsibility of our own lives. Different programs, challenges and websites, while being great resource, encouragement, and support, are only guidelines and only work if they work for you. Kudos fto you for taking control and making sparkpeople your own. I am just starting to really delve into the sparkpeople website and using it more and find I am really liking its setup. Thanks again for this blog!

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THOMS1 11/15/2013 12:14PM

    Good blog and I too need it today! Have a good weekend and stick to your guns. emoticon

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JESSWAHOO 11/15/2013 12:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MELAFYAIYAI 11/15/2013 12:12PM

    Thank you! So many of us needed to hear this message today! emoticon

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ANNROW0354 11/15/2013 12:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ADPITHERESA 11/15/2013 12:00PM

    I read this post today and it was exactly what I needed to hear after a week of frustrating setbacks and weight gain! Then I went and read your story- you are amazing! Best of luck with the latest scale challenge. I hope you find it liberating!

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REBIRTHDIVA 11/15/2013 11:37AM

    emoticon emoticon I had to take my power back from my scale, too. The stress was keeping me stuck.

Much success to you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHKIRK 11/15/2013 11:31AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMAGINE46 11/15/2013 9:35AM

  emoticon emoticon

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 11/15/2013 8:53AM

    I enjoyed your blog. Love your attitude and resolve. You are an inspiration!

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KANOE10 11/15/2013 7:40AM

    emoticon Good luck on your new healthy goal until Jan, You can do it. I am glad you are taking care of yourself and making choices that are right for you.

emoticon

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IRISH421 11/15/2013 7:30AM

    All I can say is "WOW!" What an awesome blog! 'WOW'! This really gave me some things to think about. I have been trying to get back on the Spark and this has really given me something to think about. WOW emoticon

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SUNNYBEACHGIRL 11/14/2013 11:16PM

    Hope that you are having a good day today.

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EILEEN828 11/14/2013 10:59PM

    New angles to try can always be positive. It will work or it will show you what doesn't. I hope it works for you the way you want it too. All I know for sure is that the path is not a straight one on this journey. It takes all kinds of tricks to work for all kinds of people. The best thing about this is that you are not stuck in rut and are still looking for answers that help you. Onward my friend!

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SNOWYOGA 11/14/2013 10:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMINGSHAY 11/14/2013 9:46PM

    Very well said! Thanks for that! Awesome blog and great points about that awful scale! LOL

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FLMOMX2 11/14/2013 9:19PM

    STEPH-KNEE this is a great blog!! emoticon emoticon emoticon You are an awesome woman. This spoke to me as I've struggled this year with my weight.

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CAROLJ35 11/14/2013 8:59PM

    I needed to read this. One challenge team dropped me because I didn't get my weight recorded at the right time - and that was due to internet prroblems. When they started a new challenge, I was not allowed back on the team I preferred and had been on for some time.
That sure squelched my enthusiasm!
I'll do it on my own.

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THEVOW2013 11/14/2013 8:43PM

    its normal girly.........zig zag weight loss journey, I swear I have lost and gained 60 lbs while ridding my beautiful frame of 130 lbs. no lecture here but a tip....focus on another goal like tracking emoticon your food daily or exercising x amount of times and measure your success that way for a while the scale will move

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DEBSZOO74 11/14/2013 8:20PM

    emoticon

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LIVINHEALTHY9 11/14/2013 7:56PM

    Stay strong and fight on!



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AMARILYNH 11/14/2013 6:45PM

    Stephanie, I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience with the BLC Challenge. I'm going to ask you not to give up on BLC - for many of us it is a POSITIVE experience that enhances our weight loss journey.

There is a visual picture I got from someone here on SP that I MUST do a blog on because it is SO VERY RELATIVE to our journey!! It shows one arrow going straight and true from a bigger number to a smaller number. Then it has one that goes up and down and sideways - but it still stays on a downward trajectory. THAT is how most of our weight loss journeys are!! Is it what we want? NO!! We WANT that other arrow. But this is real life and in real life stuff happens!!

That is where you are on your journey! You haven't failed at all - you got a little off track. You know what? You can eat and exercise PERFECTLY for a week and have a gain on the scale. And when that happens, THAT is when you need a team of friends supporting you and loving you and encouraging you. And if it happens three weeks in a row? Then you need that support even more!!

Two of my very favorite quotes (I'm sure you've heard them from me) come from Winston Churchill: "Never, never, NEVER give up!" and Babe Ruth: "Its hard to beat a person who never gives up!"

That's YOU baby - you are NEVER giving up!! You WILL succeed!! And when you reach your next goal, be it 5 pounds or 10 pounds or whatever, we will all be RIGHT HERE cheering you on!! Because you have touched our lives with your honesty as you shared your journey with us!! You ROCK!!!! Hugs, Marilyn emoticon emoticon

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JILLIANISREADY 11/14/2013 6:40PM

    I loved that blog. I totally understand -- I been gaining but yet losing inches (but of course didn't keep track at first.. so i started this week -- better late then never)
I love that you set aside free days.. setting yourself so you can hold yourself accountable and not fail or get discouraged!! GOOD for you.

Keep up the good work and we need to take control of our OWN journey. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIBBYG7 11/14/2013 6:00PM

    You're beautiful --- inside and out!!!
Well done!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOTUSBURGER 11/14/2013 3:46PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADF1981 11/14/2013 3:42PM

    Good for you for standing up for yourself and doing what you feel is right in your journey! Sounds like leaving the group and saying goodbye to the scale for a while is a good plan. I weigh twice a week and if I splurge I will skip a weigh in or two to give myself time to bounce back. I've done the daily weigh ins before and it messed with my feelings. It's hard for me to not weigh sometimes, but I notice I am happier the less I step on the scale and also find it easier to go longer avoiding the scale too. Hang in there and keep going! Thanks for sharing.

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HAPPYSMILE14 11/14/2013 2:32PM

  Thank you so much for your advice!! I have been through very many negative experiences due to my massive weight gain and it is often hard for me to even have positive thoughts re: waking up every day.
I shed tears reading the bad experiences you endured but your advice really makes me feel hopeful. Thank you for truly brightening my day!!

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MOLLIEJEAN2 11/14/2013 12:46PM

    emoticon , I agree with you about this weight lose journey is for you not for others. What works for one doesn't always work for others. I know you can do this and believe that you will find your way back to where you want to be. emoticon

I'm finding it hard to keep up with the BLC myself since I have been sick for a week now and it doesn't seem to make much of a difference to the team.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEREMC 11/14/2013 12:42PM

  your blogs always hit me right were I am living. I also sometimes weigh multiple times a day but recently have been only weighing once a week. I also have experienced the new ability to feel when I have gained a little in my new smaller clothes. I know you can do this and that jan 1 will be a great day for you. emoticon emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Know When You're Kidding Yourself!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013



The most important thing for me in my weight loss journey isn't about what foods I do and do not eat, it's not about how much exercise I get in... it's not even about that willpower thing everyone always fusses about... nope! What is the most important to me is being honest with myself and being aware of when things aren't going so well.

You see, I didn't get up 272 pounds without some ignorance... because you know, ignorance is bliss right? I couldn't possibly be "that big" right? When I would see a picture of myself I would always be shocked... well maybe it's just a bad angle right? Well of course that is so wrong, but when you have put on that much weight and are overwhelmed, sometimes you just bury your head in the sand and you let it go.

I even lost 40 pounds 3 or 4 times, only to gain it back. This happened by lying to myself. "Oh it's okay, you ONLY gained 10 pounds back, you will be okay." Each time I proceeded to gain back the entire 40 and it brought friends too!

I found myself slipping into this when I had my 6-awful-eat-whatever-you-want-weeks a few months back. I kept lying to myself and trying to trick myself and build up that beautiful ignorance bubble again. I kept telling myself "You aren't giving up"... when all I was doing was eating like my 272 pound self and not exercising... but I kept insisting that I was still trying... even though I wasn't! I kept telling myself "You aren't going to gain the weight back, you got this." But I kept doing all the habits that got me to my highest weight! The first 5 pounds came on and I kept saying to myself and my mother "It's ONLY 5 pounds, it will come right back off!" Well okay, that's true, it WILL indeed come back off, IF you do the WORK. I seemed to forget that detail as it spiraled into 10 pounds. I told my mom "it's only 10 pounds, it'll come back off" and she ever so politely said "yeah that's what you keep saying." At that exact moment it didn't register, not until the 10 pounds became 11 and something inside me snapped. 11 pounds could easily turn into 40. Not in a matter of days, but over a few months I could be back to square one. That is when I realized I was kidding myself. Saying that I wasn't giving up and saying that I wasn't going to gain the weight back didn't do anything for my waistline or the scale. Excuses don't burn calories unfortunately... and I was just spiraling out of control.

I got that under control, lost that 11 pounds and moved forward. Until Halloween. I have been struggling since Halloween... each day I get up and declare "This day is going to be a good day!" Sometimes it was, I have had good days here and there, but some days ended with me crashing and burning. I found myself trying to build up that ignorance bubble again!



The excuses were flying all over! "The holidays are coming up, they are rough for everyone!" "It's totally normal to gain weight during the holidays, you won't be the only one!" "Maybe you can just worry about maintaining and start losing again at the beginning of the year!" The list went on and on. I kept eating like I did before I started this journey and was trying to find a way to justify it. But finally that little bubble popped and I remembered it is not okay. It is okay if I want to gain back my 80 pounds and reach an all time high weight... but it is not okay for the new healthy body that I want to have!

I took a long hard look at some of my "before" pics. Sometimes, when you have a lot of weight to lose... you still feel fat even though you've lost a lot of weight. Around 190ish is where I stand right now, and I am by no means small... but I am also nowhere near how I was at 272 pounds. It's the craziest thing because some days I feel small... and other days I feel like I have so far to go and I haven't made much progress. Allowing myself to take a long hard look at those pictures really helped snap me out of it. Not only was I much larger, you could tell I was physically uncomfortable and I often looked unhappy even though I was with great friends at the time. I may not have been an unhappy person, but I was never a happy person when the camera was out... and that is a sad thing. I don't wish for those days to come back, which means I can't live my life that way. So the ignorance bubble is popped, holiday time is not an excuse to eat everything and pack on the pounds, and I am dusting myself off and moving forward. I start off each day with the best intentions, some days I win, and some days I lose, but as long as I keep trying, and keep being honest with myself, I will get through this. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BANNERMAN 6/18/2014 12:11AM

  Thanks for sharing.

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CATNCAG 5/2/2014 5:06PM

    emoticon Very inspirational! It's funny when I see pictures of myself I too think, "Am I really that big?" emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LORIVIOLA 4/7/2014 8:46AM

    thanks for the great blog
i have put on a few pounds— i need to go pop my ignorance bubble too!

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GRAMPIAN 1/22/2014 4:17PM

  Good luck! emoticon

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MAYBER 12/26/2013 12:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LETHANIA 12/4/2013 11:41PM

    I GOTTA TELL YOU unagi made my day! LOL

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MRSRIGS1 12/2/2013 6:29PM

    I have been there....lying to myself. Thank you for sharing and I'm rooting for you! emoticon

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JAIMESIZED 12/1/2013 10:50PM

    I absolutely fell in love with this blog because you reminded me of myself. I also have recently popped the ignorance bubble. So proud of you! :)

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G33K10V3 11/18/2013 8:56AM

    I am rooting for you BIG TIME over here!! I totally understand everything you have written especially the part about still feeling big after I've lost almost 80 pounds now and it is because I AM still big!! emoticon
Just woooosaaaaah and every little decision you make that is a good decision will all add up and you KNOW you can do it!!!
emoticon emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 11/17/2013 9:22PM

    AWESOME BLOG. IT IS GREAT THAT YOU REALIZED BEFORE YOU WERE TOO FAR OUT OF CONTROL AND HAD A LONG WAY TO GET BACK TO HEALTHY. CONGRATULATIONS. KEEP PUSHING AND ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.



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BABYSTEPS123 11/17/2013 12:51PM

    Thank goodness for popping bubbles and renewed and clear perspective! Hang in there! You can get back on even footing as you make those good choices! Rooting for you!

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FRABBIT 11/16/2013 11:39PM

  Great blog! Keep up the good work.

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MOTIVATIONFOUND 11/16/2013 11:20AM

    Boy have I been there - in the ignorance bubble. It can be challenging, difficult and even painful to pop it, but it's 100% worth it.

Like you said, as long as you're honest with yourself, you can do this!

Great blog.

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TRUDIP1 11/15/2013 3:48PM

    Keep good records, not just of the weight, but of the emotional journey too. You can write a book at the end of your journey, you are good with words!

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WHITEANGEL4 11/15/2013 10:23AM

    Great, honest and to the point

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AMYSYOKO 11/15/2013 9:41AM

  thank you, I really needed to hear this, especially at this time of the year with all the holidaze coming up

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JUSGETTENBY42 11/15/2013 7:23AM

    emoticon

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ROSEHIP:-) 11/15/2013 12:19AM

    emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 11/14/2013 11:27PM

  I agree

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EILEEN828 11/14/2013 10:49PM

    Being honest is not easy, in fact it can be brutal. That is it's plus and minus. The goal for the holidays is to make it a normal day. Shame on the retailers for making it a season that is full throttle at all times. ti does begin to erode your good intentions and normal habits. Try your best to shrink it back from a season to a day. It's better for your pocket book as well.

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BRENDAGAIL9 11/14/2013 10:43PM

    emoticon

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LAURANCE 11/14/2013 9:03PM

  Oooohhhh, thank you for reminding me to be honest!
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HEALTHYSLIM2 11/14/2013 4:50PM

    Oh boy - a great blog!!! And I love your UNAGI!!
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The first step in the right direction is always clearly seeing where we are. From there, we are able to make good ("the right") choices.
Best of luck with the consistency and remember you're not alone! That this is something SO MANY (dare I say ALL of us?) struggle with, holidays or no holidays!!!!
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You've come so far, and I see more SUCCESS just around the corner from you, too!
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CHICAMIMI 11/14/2013 3:43PM

    I can totally relate to this post and the feelings that can come about when mindless behavior takes over. I think it is so great that you are aware of it and working on it -
emoticon

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40PUDDLEJUMPER 11/14/2013 1:45PM

    emoticon

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EFFECT25 11/14/2013 1:15PM

    I am so gonna put it in my facebook profile!! hahaha

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SJKENT1 11/14/2013 12:48PM

    Popping the bubble for me too.

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HELEN_BRU 11/14/2013 12:24PM

    Wow! You have a lot of support here. I am with you 100%. It's so important not to give in and make excuses. Holidays are excuses to go off course. Just don't do it!

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DAISYBELL6 11/14/2013 12:02PM

    I am in exactly the same place you are right now! Even the numbers are the same. You have helped pop my bubble!

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THEIS58 11/14/2013 11:53AM

    Thanks

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SPARKBJOK 11/14/2013 11:45AM

    Definitely agree!

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BROOKLYN_BORN 11/14/2013 11:25AM

    Ah yes, the excuses we make. We overestimate our exercise and underestimate our portion size. We avoid the scale so we don't get bad news.

When we have family members who enable our excuses, it's even harder to stop making them. "You don't want to be a size 0, do you?" You're strong and healthy, your weight doesn't matter, you can CARRY it"

Why would I want to carry it? Without honesty, we can never be successful.

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LISA_FRAME 11/14/2013 10:51AM

  emoticon

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LUCYTMCM 11/14/2013 10:43AM

  Thanks! I needed that.


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LUCYTMCM 11/14/2013 10:41AM

  Thanks ! I needed that !


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ISABELLE31 11/14/2013 10:27AM

    emoticon

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JDFAN448HS 11/14/2013 10:01AM

    emoticon emoticon who hasn't been there. Thanks for bringing
this today. I needed the wake up call. Cheers, C emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/14/2013 10:02:09 AM

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GINGERGAL12 11/14/2013 9:57AM

  emoticon emoticon

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SHANTRA7 11/14/2013 9:42AM

    I'm rooting for you.

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 11/14/2013 9:15AM

    emoticon

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INGMARIE 11/14/2013 8:54AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JRRING 11/14/2013 8:41AM

  emoticon

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DNRAE1 11/14/2013 8:04AM

    Oh my, I've been in that bubble for 6 months now and have gained back the weight I lost……..aargh! Thank you so much for your blog! I needed a good look at reality, so thank you again.

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AGIGS22 11/14/2013 7:36AM

    thank you for sharing this and for the reminder that we're all human, not perfect, and that this is a journey that requires honesty!

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MOXYCAT 11/14/2013 7:29AM

  one meal at a time -- one day at a time --- ---- emoticon

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HAPPYMENOW58 11/14/2013 7:23AM

    Well said! Keep going! You've got this!

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CHERYLHURT 11/14/2013 7:12AM

  emoticon

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OLGA18 11/14/2013 6:53AM

  This all just rings so true for me. Thank you for sharing it!

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PENOWOK 11/14/2013 6:51AM

    We are counting on you!! You CAN get this going again!!

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NEWTINK 11/14/2013 6:19AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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