Thursday, July 11, 2013
As of this morning, I am 202.2! Unleash the 's and 's! So many milestones for me coming up. First off 202.2 is a milestone in itself, because I was 205 at age 18, and I am now 27. So this is the first time I've seen ANYTHING under 205 in 9 years. 202 on the nose will be 70 pounds lost! And of course everyone knows about the promiseland, ONEDERLAND is right around the corner! I know that when I see that number on the scale streamers aren't going to fall from the ceiling or anything extreme. I also know that only my closest family members will know, because I don't go around telling people at work my weight LOL, but it is so exciting! I look forward to taking a comparison pic and posting a blog and hoping that my dear Spark Friends (that's you guys ) will party with me!
I have wanted this for so long (years and years), and despite being stuck in a 10 pound range for over 6 months, I really feel like I have the momentum moving in the right direction, and it's onward to goal! I know there will be bumps in the road, nothing is ever perfect, but I just feel like there is no stopping me now. When a plateau comes, I'll hold on for dear life and keep pushing til I get past it. I am just so excited to think in 1-3 weeks I can celebrate Onederland! Hopefully it doesn't take the 3 weeks, but my body can be a fickle thing, and so I am prepared to have to hang on for a little longer if my body so decides! But when that time comes I hope you will all join me in a Celebration, the drinks will be on me!
Sunday, July 07, 2013
I just love my team, and I love our Captain. I swear I'm really not trying to butt here, but I just love this fit test thing. But the thing that is great is having us revisit it just 4 weeks later. At 6 weeks in, half way through the challenge it sometimes feels like you don't have time to really improve and get to where you need to be. But at just 4 weeks in, I still have 8 weeks to improve upon this, and that is super exciting!
As far as weight goals, I started the challenge at 211.6, and as of last weigh in I was 204.6... A 7 pound loss in 4 weeks, not too shabby. My overall goal was to get to 195, so 9.6 pounds to go with 8 weeks left and I really feel like I can do it if I push it! :)
1 Mile Walk: 19.37 --->18:50
Crunches: 50 ----> 75
Plank: 20 seconds ----> 20 seconds (Needs major work)
Wall Sit: 50 seconds ---> 70 secs
(Modified) Squats: 15 ----> 25
(Wall) Pushups: 25 ----> 40
(For Fun) Hula Hoop: 3 minutes -----> 3 minutes
Flexibility before & after (almost identical but still working on it.)
Friday, July 05, 2013
I have had Sparky since the end of January, and somehow I think if I had him a year ago, I'd be at goal right now. I am off 3-4 days a week and I walk him each day off. When I am at work on the weekends, his Memaw (my mom) or his boyfriend (my brother, technically his uncle but I just called him his boyfriend from the beginning so too late LOL... but Sparky loves him a lot) come over and take him for his walk. So he knows, without fail, that at some point the leash and harness are coming out and he is getting to go for his walk.
I live across the street from a park with a huge firework display. I was so worried how Sparky would react, but he did so good. We played and we had fun while the fireworks were going off, and then when it got to the finale he got a little nervous and we snuggled on the couch until it was over.
He did so good and I was so proud of him, because it was super loud! I had decided we weren't going for a walk, because even though we go at night, we'd have to wait til all the people cleared out and it just wasn't worth it to go that late. As I am sitting on the couch, 11:00 last night, he casually walks over to his leash, that is sitting on top of a box and he sniffs it. I swear it was like he was saying "the leash is still here, what's the problem?!"
That's all it took. Before I knew it I told him we would go for one, a short one, but that he deserved to go. So off we went, a short walk for us is now a mile, which funnily enough I used to struggle to finish. We went almost 2 miles and came back home and he was just so happy! I love my little Sparky, and it's just a huge perk that he will not let me be lazy. I can skimp on other forms of exercise, I can eat poorly, but he makes sure that no matter how well or horrible I am doing, that I at least get in our walks... and for the most part when that is happening, the other parts of the puzzle (eating, exercise etc.) all work together.
I am confident with Sparky around, I'll never be allowed to be lazy, and I'm okay with that!
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
One minute I have it all together, things are 's and 's, and then something happens that is outside of my control, and I go running towards food. This is a process and I am learning a lot about myself... but I am learning that when I am hurt, even after all this time, I turn to food to soothe myself. Knowing that is half the battle, and I fought it for over 24 hours before I gave in.
I use the term binge loosely, and it seems everyone has different definitions of what constitutes a binge. I have heard stories of binging that are nothing like what I do... but what I do I consider it a binge. It is a conscious thing for me and it always involves fast food. It isn't a fridge full of food or anything, but it is still a large amount of food, always high in calories. The one that happened just an hour ago consisted of Chili cheese fries, jalapeno poppers and chicken nuggets. Definitely too much food for one meal, and too many calories for the day. Add on top of that I had already eaten my calories for the day and was not hungry when I did this, and that just spells out disaster.
I have been feeling hurt over something personal, but turning to food was never the answer and I knew that... but low and behold I did it anyways. I know that I am not perfect by any means, and "stuff happens", but this isn't something that happens to everyone. People who don't struggle with their weight and even those that do don't find themselves at the drive thru ordering a large amount of food when they aren't hungry because they are upset. It isn't one of those things that "everyone does" and that makes me really look into why I do it.
Sitting here now, I am still upset over the original issue, the food was so greasy that my stomach hurts, and I am disappointed in myself. I knew this would happen, and I did it anyways. I have spent some time journaling and that has helped, but I need to help myself BEFORE I binge next time, not after the damage is done.
I am prepared to move forward, and not beat myself up for it. From my past experiences, I know that beating myself up will lead to even more binges, and that is the last thing I need to do. I need to work on getting stronger a day at a time. I tracked my dreaded sticker that indicates a day I eat over 3,000 calories, and I am making it my goal for that to be the ONLY cupcake sticker in July. In June I only had one cupcake sticker and that wasn't for a binge, it was because I went to the buffet in Vegas and I just assumed it was a cupcake sticker kind of day lol. I was doing so well, and I can't afford another week or two off track.
I honestly can't believe how much I let outside forces (i.e. boys ) have such an effect on me to the point where all I know to do is turn to food. I have come a long way, in that I never get a random feeling to binge or eat that way. It used to be a regular thing. It went from everyday that was my dinner, to a few times a month wanting to eat that way, and now it seems to just be an emotional response to something bad. I have at least gotten to a point where these encounters are few and far between, and if I continue to be accountable and continue to grow as a person, I can only hope they get even fewer and farther between.
This is just accountability for me... sometimes you guys tell me the nicest things that I'm such an inspiration or am doing so well and it is the sweetest thing... but I am also human and I fall and I like for people to see the good and the bad of things so that they know we all slip sometimes... we just have to remember to keep getting back up.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
As everyone knows, it's been flippin hot, especially in Vegas. It was 116 most days, which was fine because the only time spent outside was to get to and from the car. The bad news was that it NEVER cooled off. I was planning to walk Sparky at midnight even, but it was still 100 degrees! Sparky said, "it's too flipin hot, let's skip it!"
I am not making excuses, I could have done other exercises, but I can't lie to you... I enjoyed just relaxing! It was a relatively short trip, I got there Tuesday night and left Saturday night. I had the buffet on Wednesday as planned, but we also went out to dinner on Friday as well which wasn't planned. So my eating wasn't the best, but there was something so great about just having 3 days to relax and enjoy myself.
The biggest eye opener for me was that my "overeating" while on vacation was similar to how the 272-pound-Stephanie would eat on a normal day. My tummy actually hurt after the day at the buffet, and I didn't even stuff myself to the brim like I could have. It was a great eye opener just to see how different my life is now, and I have no desire to go back to my old ways!
^Sparky and Gammie were winners!
Instead of focusing on the fact I overate and didn't get to walk Sparky, let's focus on the good stuff.
I was on track for 6 weeks without a slip up prior to vacation. The old me would have said "you are going on vacation in a week, might as well wait to start your DIET when you come back from vacation." A week long vacation could easily turn into 2 months of me not pursuing my weight loss goals, not this time.
I am back on track the FIRST day of coming back. No easing back into this, because it isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle, and things that were okay for me on vacation are not okay now.
I am only up 2 pounds, and I know this will come right off! I spent a week in Vegas with my Gammie in the past and come back home up 7-9 pounds, so this is a huge victory for me.
My Gammie gave me a couple compliments, and they were so out of the blue that they meant that much more. One was "You don't realize how small you are getting!" And the other was about how I have a waist line. I have to admit, when you are still 200 pounds, you don't feel small. As far as I've come, I am still a big girl and sometimes I really have to remind myself that I am in a much better place... I do hope as I get closer to my goals that the little voice that stays "you are still big" eventually goes away. I'm working on it though. :)
All in all, I am happy about how I handled my vacation, and how I handled the days leading up to and after it. I have come a long way in accepting this is a lifestyle and I have learned to find balance between splurging and enjoying life, and getting healthier!
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