Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form saying there is ANYTHING wrong with daily weighing. I know many people that do it and are awesome and amazing and it is a great accountability tool, so I am not snubbing anyone who is a daily weigher.
When I started this journey in March 2012 at 262, I just wanted to lose weight. I can't lie to you, I wanted smaller cuter clothes, and to stop feeling like a beached whale when I'd roll over in bed. Being healthier was the least of my worries, exercising was the least of my worries, because as we all know, "diet" is 80ish% of weight loss, depending on who you ask, so who cares about exercise?
Was that the wrong mentality? Absolutely! But when you are 262 pounds, that number on the scale seems like the most important thing in the world, and as long as it's going down, who cares about anything else?
Now that I am well over a year into my journey and 60 pounds down, I am learning to focus more on the healthy part of this lifestyle. I want to go for my physical and have good blood work, I want to continue to NOT have any flare ups of arthritis in my knees. I WANT to eat better, and pay more attention to the kinds of foods I'm eating and make better choices.
And here is the biggest shocker, I want to exercise!
Walking Sparky is still counting as fitness minutes for me, tracked by my fitbit. We've been hitting 2 miles regularly and it feels great, but I am learning that I have more energy and can afford to add in something more than walking on my days off. I am working back to incorporate strength training and other forms of exercise. I have even changed my ticker to reflect fitness minutes instead of weight loss. That isn't a permanent thing, but the things I can control are my food and exercise, so I am focused on that. I will put my weigh ins for BLC on the side of my page though, no secrets here.
After losing 4 pounds last week, the scale didn't look like it was budging and I found myself getting discouraged. Not only was I a daily weigher, I was a twice a day weigher. I'd weigh before bed and when I woke up. I could basically guess my "morning weight" from my "night time weight". Needless to say I was obsessed. Most of the time it didn't bother me, I'd take the number, whatever it was and move on with my day. Lately it is making me crazy! So I put it in the closet and I am going to learn to break myself of this habit. I will weigh in June 5th for the start of BLC and will weigh each Wednesday after that. I can't lie and say I will NEVER step on the scale in between, but I am working on breaking this habit.
Here are some fun things the scale doesn't know:
: I can walk 2 miles with Sparky without feeling like I'm going to die or can't make it. I also don't get sore from walking anymore.
: I have been making AWESOME food choices that have included more veggies, less carbs, and much less starchy carbs.
: I have more energy than I ever had eating my processed diet food stuff.
: I sleep so much better, except when Sparky is outside trying to bark at Alvin. (The squirrel, but this was the closest thing LOL)
: Had to start wearing my belt at work again, because my pants are too dang big. Yes, I'm supposed to wear the belt, it's part of my uniform, but when I was 262 pounds I physically couldn't wear it, it was too small and it hurt.
: I'm happy! I've kicked to the curb some stupid boys, and now kicking the scale to the curb, I just feel happy, and free and like myself again, and that is a reward the scale could never give me.
I still mark the scale as a FORM of success, but I am learning it isn't the end all be all. If I do what I need to do this weight will come off, I will get to Onederland and I will get to my goal, and that in itself is super exciting!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I just have to admit it, my happiness and my Spark is at an all time high, and I am actually, well to be quite frank, OBNOXIOUS!
I am beyond 's and 's right now, and when I sweat I'm pretty sure glitter comes sprinkling out.
I think I struggled for so long that I forgot how good it felt to have this weight loss under control, finding the "sweet spot" again has been amazing! My jar has been receiving a lot of action since the big drought these last few months.
Part of this happiness came from forgiving myself. Any of you who have followed me and watched me moan and whine about being on a plateau and struggling know the last few months have been hard. Hitting 212 in October of last year only to plateau, then gain, then lose, then gain, then lose then maintain and then gain 10ish pounds March-April was just heart wrenching. There was a part of myself that kept reminding me that I had "wasted" 6 months because I was not losing weight. I should have been in Onederland, in fact I should have hit my goal of 180 in that amount of time. It was a devastating blow to feel like I just threw that time right in the garbage.
But I have since gotten on track and gained some serious perspective. Even when things got hard, I never stopped coming to Spark people. I never lied about any weight gains, no matter how big or small. I NEVER let my weight get higher than a gain of 10 pounds, and once that happened it was my true wake up call to get moving in the right direction. The old me would have just ate her way all the way back up to a new all time high weight, but not the new me.
So I feel great because not only am I back on track, but I can now say the last 6 months were NOT wasted because I learned:
: It's easy to slip back into old habits, and that one week of an "I don't care attitude" can turn into an entire month.
: Weight can come back on sooooooooo much faster than it takes to lose it, and we can easily lose ground.
: I've learned that I know how to maintain my weight within a 5 pound range, that knowledge is going to help me SO much when it's time for maintenance.
: My support from my spark friends and logging onto this site daily is a very important part of my success.
: I've also learned that any time spent not regaining all the weight I lost is still a huge success! The scale going down is the obvious success, but the scale not going back up is a success in it's own right!
So yes, my happiness is obnoxious right now, and I don't care who knows it. When you go from down in the pit of despair to the sweet spot, all you want to do is celebrate!
My name is Stephanie, I'm sickeningly happy, I'm headed to Onederland and I don't care who knows it!
Whether you are in the pit of despair trying to climb out, in your sweet spot, or somewhere in between, don't give up! Keep your eye on the prize! If I can do this, I promise you ANYONE can do this!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Prior to starting my journey 3/20/12 at 262 pounds, I was eating upwards of 3,000 calories a day, many of those on fast food. So when I started to make changes, just by not eating as much fast food, eating less calories, the weight seemed to drop off. The things I were eating were not healthy by any means, but because the calories were far less, the weight was coming off, and I didn't seem to care.
But here I am, a little over a year later, around 215ish (back down from 222 just 3 weeks ago, ) and still eating those same things, even if the calories are in range it just wasn't cutting it anymore. On May 3rd, after coming across tips from my BLC teammates, I took a long hard look at my carbs. Now, my carbs where within my Spark range, but I was averaging 200 carbs per day. It was in range, so I didn't think it was an issue. Some of my teammates had started following 100g a day and seeing great results, I figured what could it hurt?
I wasn't going to do anything extreme, I wasn't going to cut ridiculously far back on carbs, but I thought I would give it a shot. I did some research on my own, and started being more conscious of my food choices and my carbs. The "bad foods" that I was eating were extremely high in carbs, so by being conscious of this alone, I immediately started choosing healthier foods. It wasn't intentional, but it just happened. I could easily defend my easy mac before because it was "only" 220 calories, even though deep down I always knew the foods I chose were not ideal. But with looking at carbs, I could not allow myself to "waste" 30-something carbs on one little container of easy mac. I haven't done away with everything, but instead of eating 3-4 items containing 30 carbs or more, I allow myself ONE a day.
I also started eating eggs and turkey sausage for breakfast, not only do I LOVE IT but it keeps me full for hours. I had always hated eating breakfast because I felt so hungry only 1-2 hours later, but not with the protein! My protein is at an all time high (still in range), I am feeling fuller than I ever have and all while staying in a lower calorie range. I was previously eating 1700 and still wanting more food. Now some days I find myself eating 1300 and full.
I am feeling good, and just over a week later this is all the things I'm experiencing:
Weight is coming off, my pants are fitting better, my digestive system is running much more smoothly.
I find myself eating so many more veggies, and actually enjoying eating them. Carrots in hummus or tzatziki? YUM-O!
I'm not craving carbs, fast food, or any other tempting foods. I often craved fast food, or some fluffy form of carbs like pasta or breads, and that craving is not there.
I have more energy!
More energy means longer walks for Sparky!
It is still just a few days in, but I love hula hooping and I LOVE the calories it burns and how high it gets my heart rate!
I am so glad to be back on track, I am so glad to have this sense of control again. When I was off track for about a month, I felt sluggish, icky, sad, but I forgot how great it felt to be on track and feeling fabulous! This little tiny "change" in my journey by paying more attention to carbs is helping me so much, and I've been saying this since Halloween, but I really think I'm going to get to Onederland in the not so distant future... for real-sies this time!
Friday, May 03, 2013
I bought a regular ol kids size hula hoop from Target. I had NO idea it was necessarily kid sized, but I have seen so many people on here, MOSTMOM1 and others who have had amazing success with the hula hoops. Well a little research proved that I pretty much stood NO chance of being able to do it with that particular hoop. It was too small for my height and my rather large middle. My very tall and skinny brother could do it, but me, well not so much. I ordered a 42 inch adult hoop off amazon and I look forward to it coming. I don't mind putting in time and effort to learn something, but I definitely needed the right equipment to even have a chance.
On the food front I am doing okay and I am feeling so much more in control. Thank goodness. I also had a tip from some friends to pay closer attention to my carbs, and I think that is a tool that is going to help me tremendously. I am not getting crazy and going super low carbs, or following Atkins or anything, but I am paying closer attention to it and it's helping! What it is doing for me personally, is it is pushing me away from the convenience foods that we all know are bad for me anyways. For example, a lean pocket at 280 calories isn't so bad on that account, but it has almost 40 carbs. *SHRIEKS IN HORROR* So at the very least, I may not be following a "low carb diet", BUT I am in a backhanded way being forced to make better choices. I am feeling better, I am eating more food before, eating less calories and feeling satisfied. This has only been a couple days of doing this, but I haven't found a reason that I would want to stop just yet. :)
I had a few status updates about it, but last year my A1C test was in the high range for a possibility of pre diabetes. I weighed in at 224 in September. When I left there I vowed to myself I'd be coming back September 2013 possibly at 180 or at the very least in Onederland. Well that was a good plan, until I stalled and regained 10 pounds. So here I sit, around 217, in the beginning of May. I have decided for myself that I will schedule my physical for the beginning of October, and that I will dedicate the next 5 months to losing weight. Let's be honest, my goal for the past year has been to lose weight... I'm not losing weight "for the physical", it's not like wanting to do it to look good for a wedding or whatever (there is nothing wrong with that btw), but I am tricking myself into getting motivated by this. I do not want to be lectured by the doctor, she wants to sign me up for a prediabetes class if my number hasn't gone down. While that isn't a big deal, I already know, I've researched, I know all about the white floury carbs and all the things they want to tell me. I need to get the job done, and the A1C is not a number that can drop over night... so while I may not see a huge drop this year, at least I can take comfort in knowing I'm working towards something.
If I can lose 6 pounds a month I can be about 190 when I see the doctor, and at least I would be proud to walk in and show that I have been making progress. So let's get this show on the road!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Now, I say some, because I should have done this prior to eating 2 of the 3 servings! But better late than never. Macaroni salad, for whatever reason is a trigger food of mine. I know this, and I RARELY buy it because I know what will happen. They have the huge tub, and the very small tub, which I would think is maybe 2 servings, but it's 3, with 330 calories PER SERVING. I could easily eat the whole thing. I had been doing so good, and it was on sale at the store I tricked myself into thinking I could handle eating one serving at a time, in moderation. Boy was I wrong.
I had less than a serving earlier today with my sandwich, and even tonight when I wasn't hungry reached for it. Put it all in my tracker and it blew my already iffy day to 2400 calories. I was still eating it thinking OH WELL, the day is ruined. Then I stopped, mid chew and I said there is still SOME right here, it isn't gone yet.
I took out a plate, put it on the food scale, weighed it, almost 1 whole serving remained. I threw it face down in the trash, and turned on the trash compactor and practically skipped out of the kitchen! I went right back to my tracker and throwing away what didn't look like much saved me about 300 calories! That is more calories than I burned on my walk with Sparky. I feel like a million bucks, I'd feel like 2 million if I stopped even sooner, but it is an amazing feeling to see that food has no control over me.
I simply can not handle buying that. I eat everything else in moderation, even things I really, really, like, but I don't have issues with any of those things, it's just the macaroni salad, so as of today, for real-sies this time, macaroni salad and I are no longer frienemies... We are done-sies.
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