Tuesday, June 04, 2013
I had a status update about this yesterday, and got some good feedback, and just wondering if there are any others of you out there that can relate to this one.
A coworker and I had kind of talked about how much weight I lost a couple weeks ago, and yada yada blah blah. Cut to 2 weeks later, and she is on some wazoo diet. I don't care how anyone decides to go about getting healthier, that's not my place to say anything... but the crazy part is... she is trying to help me... um WTF?!
Now, I know what you are thinking, help is nice, etc etc. But time out. She weighs more than me and has just started on a self proclaimed "diet". She knows I've lost 60 pounds, and that I've been at it a while. But she proceeds to tell me (in a bragging tone, as I eat my El Pollo Loco I got at work, all tracked and dandy btw), about these smoothies she is making for breakfast. Then later she tells me "Oh, you really must go on this site Skinnytaste.com", and I cut her off right there and said "It's a great site, I had her jalapeno popper chicken, it's great, you should try it." AKA, you can't tell me anything I don't already know.
I don't share what I know, I don't share my plan, so I understand she has no way of knowing what I know about and what I don't... but just like I am not giving unsolicited advice to her about her "diet", I don't need it in return. I told her that I kind of go through phases where I cook a lot, and then there are times where I rely more on frozen foods because I get lazy but I still plan everything and it helps me. She laughed and she understood I think as she said "I go through phases too, I'm on the upswing right now." To which I just said "I am on the downswing, 14 months in and losing the same 5ish pounds for 5 months can take it's toll on you."
Her enthusiasm is overwhelming, and I am not hating on her for that, I think it's great. I too was once 's and 's about everything too. You woke up and the was shining and the birds were chirping and you saw yourself in the mirror and you said, "You are awesome, you got this"... but that doesn't last forever.
I just was not overly excited about the fact that she felt the need to help me, when she knows I've lost 60 pounds, weigh less than her, and now knows I'm over 14 months into this. Although once I got that zinger in of how long I was doing it, she quickly got quiet. But I had the last laugh as I ate my perfectly portioned and tracked ice cream and she chewed on her celery. I guess that my friends is the difference between some "diet" and a healthy lifestyle full of things in moderation.
Friday, May 31, 2013
My brother and I used to joke I was Monica
Seriously, who am I? I know putting down the fork when you are full is what most normal people usually do... but between you and me, you don't get up 272 pounds only eating when you are truly hungry, and stopping when you are full.
I also used to eat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast. So by the time my body told me I was full, I was already way beyond the full point.
My uncle and I went to the Casino yesterday to see his ladies, Celtic Woman lol. We had a blast. My schedule was thrown off as I was only able to get an hours sleep before we left, but we had a blast. We had El Pollo Loco for lunch, I usually get a kids meal pollo bowl but I didn't see it on the menu, so I said eh, I'll get a regular sized one and a loco salad. I ate the loco salad and about half of the bowl before I said I'm full. And I never took another bite. My uncle was amazed, he's used to seeing me put away good amounts of food. He even joked "what's happened to you?!" LOL.
I remember going out with my friend at age 19 and saying "I'm so full" as I was STILL eating she finally said "then why don't you stop eating?" Oh, that makes sense! I was just a food lover and I loved to eat so that never occurred to me in the past.
Dinner time rolled around and they had this thing called an "Animal Style Potato". Think In N Out animal style sauce on a huge potato with hamburger meat and onions. I was also looking at the chicken salad sandwich and my uncle said well I'll get the sandwich you can have half and I'll have half the potato. Okay good plan. NOT! The result: I ate half the potato and the pickle off his plate, I was full and done. He ate most of his sandwich and some of the potato. It was delicious but I didn't stuff myself.
Ladies and Gentleman, I am a changed person, inside and out! I have been on this journey just over 14 months, I have lost 60ish pounds, but this entire month of May I have finally felt like I "got this".
In the month of May:
: I have not eaten any fast food on my own for giggles. I had El Pollo Loco once at work, Chipotle once at work cuz I forgot my food at home, and obviously out with my uncle. But never drove thru on my own for no reason.
: Have not binged.
: Have not even eaten 2000 calories when before I would regularly have 3000+ calories 5-7 times a month.
: I have over 1400 fitness minutes or something crazy, NEVER had that before.
: I do not feel like this is work. I know I'm working my butt off cuz I'm getting the job done, but this feels like LIFE, not a diet, not a plan, not work, just regular old life, and it feels amazing!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form saying there is ANYTHING wrong with daily weighing. I know many people that do it and are awesome and amazing and it is a great accountability tool, so I am not snubbing anyone who is a daily weigher.
When I started this journey in March 2012 at 262, I just wanted to lose weight. I can't lie to you, I wanted smaller cuter clothes, and to stop feeling like a beached whale when I'd roll over in bed. Being healthier was the least of my worries, exercising was the least of my worries, because as we all know, "diet" is 80ish% of weight loss, depending on who you ask, so who cares about exercise?
Was that the wrong mentality? Absolutely! But when you are 262 pounds, that number on the scale seems like the most important thing in the world, and as long as it's going down, who cares about anything else?
Now that I am well over a year into my journey and 60 pounds down, I am learning to focus more on the healthy part of this lifestyle. I want to go for my physical and have good blood work, I want to continue to NOT have any flare ups of arthritis in my knees. I WANT to eat better, and pay more attention to the kinds of foods I'm eating and make better choices.
And here is the biggest shocker, I want to exercise!
Walking Sparky is still counting as fitness minutes for me, tracked by my fitbit. We've been hitting 2 miles regularly and it feels great, but I am learning that I have more energy and can afford to add in something more than walking on my days off. I am working back to incorporate strength training and other forms of exercise. I have even changed my ticker to reflect fitness minutes instead of weight loss. That isn't a permanent thing, but the things I can control are my food and exercise, so I am focused on that. I will put my weigh ins for BLC on the side of my page though, no secrets here.
After losing 4 pounds last week, the scale didn't look like it was budging and I found myself getting discouraged. Not only was I a daily weigher, I was a twice a day weigher. I'd weigh before bed and when I woke up. I could basically guess my "morning weight" from my "night time weight". Needless to say I was obsessed. Most of the time it didn't bother me, I'd take the number, whatever it was and move on with my day. Lately it is making me crazy! So I put it in the closet and I am going to learn to break myself of this habit. I will weigh in June 5th for the start of BLC and will weigh each Wednesday after that. I can't lie and say I will NEVER step on the scale in between, but I am working on breaking this habit.
Here are some fun things the scale doesn't know:
: I can walk 2 miles with Sparky without feeling like I'm going to die or can't make it. I also don't get sore from walking anymore.
: I have been making AWESOME food choices that have included more veggies, less carbs, and much less starchy carbs.
: I have more energy than I ever had eating my processed diet food stuff.
: I sleep so much better, except when Sparky is outside trying to bark at Alvin. (The squirrel, but this was the closest thing LOL)
: Had to start wearing my belt at work again, because my pants are too dang big. Yes, I'm supposed to wear the belt, it's part of my uniform, but when I was 262 pounds I physically couldn't wear it, it was too small and it hurt.
: I'm happy! I've kicked to the curb some stupid boys, and now kicking the scale to the curb, I just feel happy, and free and like myself again, and that is a reward the scale could never give me.
I still mark the scale as a FORM of success, but I am learning it isn't the end all be all. If I do what I need to do this weight will come off, I will get to Onederland and I will get to my goal, and that in itself is super exciting!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I just have to admit it, my happiness and my Spark is at an all time high, and I am actually, well to be quite frank, OBNOXIOUS!
I am beyond 's and 's right now, and when I sweat I'm pretty sure glitter comes sprinkling out.
I think I struggled for so long that I forgot how good it felt to have this weight loss under control, finding the "sweet spot" again has been amazing! My jar has been receiving a lot of action since the big drought these last few months.
Part of this happiness came from forgiving myself. Any of you who have followed me and watched me moan and whine about being on a plateau and struggling know the last few months have been hard. Hitting 212 in October of last year only to plateau, then gain, then lose, then gain, then lose then maintain and then gain 10ish pounds March-April was just heart wrenching. There was a part of myself that kept reminding me that I had "wasted" 6 months because I was not losing weight. I should have been in Onederland, in fact I should have hit my goal of 180 in that amount of time. It was a devastating blow to feel like I just threw that time right in the garbage.
But I have since gotten on track and gained some serious perspective. Even when things got hard, I never stopped coming to Spark people. I never lied about any weight gains, no matter how big or small. I NEVER let my weight get higher than a gain of 10 pounds, and once that happened it was my true wake up call to get moving in the right direction. The old me would have just ate her way all the way back up to a new all time high weight, but not the new me.
So I feel great because not only am I back on track, but I can now say the last 6 months were NOT wasted because I learned:
: It's easy to slip back into old habits, and that one week of an "I don't care attitude" can turn into an entire month.
: Weight can come back on sooooooooo much faster than it takes to lose it, and we can easily lose ground.
: I've learned that I know how to maintain my weight within a 5 pound range, that knowledge is going to help me SO much when it's time for maintenance.
: My support from my spark friends and logging onto this site daily is a very important part of my success.
: I've also learned that any time spent not regaining all the weight I lost is still a huge success! The scale going down is the obvious success, but the scale not going back up is a success in it's own right!
So yes, my happiness is obnoxious right now, and I don't care who knows it. When you go from down in the pit of despair to the sweet spot, all you want to do is celebrate!
My name is Stephanie, I'm sickeningly happy, I'm headed to Onederland and I don't care who knows it!
Whether you are in the pit of despair trying to climb out, in your sweet spot, or somewhere in between, don't give up! Keep your eye on the prize! If I can do this, I promise you ANYONE can do this!
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