STEPH-KNEE   78,395
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

Bad Case of The Birthday Blues...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

emoticon So first off I'm starting with a disclaimer. I have refrained from getting too personal in my blogs for sometime, because without fail, some random person will come and make some comment that will either rile me up, rub me the wrong way, or be just downright negative or hurtful. So with that said, if you don't have something nice to say, then get to steppin'. emoticon emoticon

On the flip side of that, anyone of my TRUE Spark Friends (you know who you are) have the liberty to say whatever they want. The know me, and I know whatever they may have to say comes from a good place and I am always happy to hear whatever that may be.

Okay, so I'm turning 27 (Feb 3).. now no one go all "that's not even old, get a life" on me, because that's pretty counter productive. I know I'm not old, and besides, we are only as old as we feel. And please don't think if you happen to be older than me that "If I'm worried about 27, I must think other people are ancient.", because I assure you that is not the case. I have friends in their 40's and I would never once have a glimmer of a thought that they were old.

This is a (mostly) irrational issue that I have. It pretty much started when I became 23. There is nothing special about the number 23, nor is there anything special about the number 27. I was happy to turn 21, I was fine with turning 22, but there was something about 23 that REALLY hit home that I am no longer a kid. You are definitely an adult, and then 24, 25, etc. really cemented in that fact.

The root of my Birthday Blues comes from the things that I am unhappy with in my life becoming front and center in my mind. There is something about "letting another year go by" without making changes, or falling into a rut so to speak.

In past years, these are the thoughts that I have had, and please, no harsh words on these things, I am letting you guys in to my deepest most feelings, so please handle them with care...
*You are the fattest you have ever been...
*You still live at home with your parents...
*You are not only single but you have nothing that even resembles a "love life"...
*You are going to end up an old maid...
*No one is ever going to love you...

Etc etc. I won't go on and on as a lot of the thoughts are similar, but you can understand the main idea. This isn't a daily thing, I am generally a pretty happy person, it is just something that comes with my birthday and the realization that I am another year older.

A large part of this stems from the fact that I really would like to be a mother SOMEDAY. I was explaining to a fellow Sparker how silly I felt, because I am in no way shape or form ready to be a wife and mother RIGHT NOW. I'm just not. I want that very badly to happen SOMEDAY but not right now. So it seems silly to kind of mourn the fact that I am not at that place in my life, when it's something I am not ready for.., So that is something I am working on figuring out and coming to terms with so that I can feel better. I think the best way to explain it is that I know there is a specific age window in which I would be able to become a mother, and with each year that passes the window gets smaller, and it scares me.

To get super dooper personal, I had made a decision a few years ago that if I am 40, and single with no potential to have a family, I would at that point adopt a child. I absolutely want to be a mother, and if I can't have my own child and have a family that I so desire, I think it would be quite fulfilling to adopt a child that does not have that family. You would think this would put my mind at ease a little, and at times it does, but it doesn't squash the desire that I have to have my own child someday.

I am doing my BEST to look at the positives, and the list that I use has significantly been cut down, and I am trying to focus on that, because...

*I am NOT the fattest I've ever been this year. In fact, I'm actually the smallest I have been in AT LEAST 5 years, and although I've been in a plateau and struggling lately, I have not given up.

*I do not live with my parents, I was blessed to buy a beautiful condo that I own a little over 3 years ago, and that has down wonders for my general happiness and sense of accomplishment.

*I have found a job that I love, that is going to be my career until the day I retire... unless there is some huge catastrophe that prevents this from happening.

*While I am still very single, I have gone on dates, and just put myself out there much more than I have in the past. I may not have found "the one" or had a boyfriend, but I have gone on dates and that is more than I can say for some of my previous years.

*I am working on myself from the inside out. I am trying to learn about myself and figure out the person I want to be, and I have come a long way in many areas.

So while I can sit here and tell you all these things, and be proud of certain accomplishments and logically know that despite getting a year older, I am much better off than I was in previous years, I still can't help and get a little case of the blues. With that said, I am doing my best not comfort myself with food, which has always been my "go to feel better thing", and while that is hit and miss, I am conscious of it and working at it.

I know this was long and boring, and unless you are my true Spark Friend I don't see many people wanting to read this, and that is okay. It was good for me to put it out there. I was so touched by the overwhelming support from my friends on my status that I thought I would explain myself for anyone who reached out to me and kind of asked what is wrong. I am so blessed to have such great Spark Friends, and you guys make me want to keep trying even when I don't feel like it, and I heart you all so much!

And I didn't forget about my week 2 check in, it's not 100% but I will post the good, bad and the ugly Tuesday night.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATVEGAN 1/25/2013 1:33AM

    Hi, Steff, from one of your truly ancient friends, though I don't feel like it. I remember when I was turning 30. I had two kids, but was not and had never been married. (That probably isn't the shocking confession it would have been when I was your age. I hated that I was turning 30. And it wasn't for just a few days, it was for months. I tried to deal with it, and just when I was doing better, my church started women's groups. They were called Baptist Women and Baptist Young Women. I'll let you guess which one 30-year-olds were in.
The good news is I have never dreaded my birthday again. I'm not sure I'm going to like being 70, which is approaching at a gallop, but it doesn't have me depressed. (Don't tell anyone I'm not really almost 50)
You have so much going for you. The fact that you are planning your life impresses me. Most of us in my youth just let life happen. A good job and a condo are amazing to me. I'm not going to try to "pull" you out of your funk. That will happen naturally. I appreciate what an encourager you are. And have a wonderful birthday.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THESHELBSTER 1/17/2013 9:02PM

    I love you so much. As a 40 year old woman you know I can relate. I found the love of my life though, as you know, and I hopw you don't have to wait tha long. I am sure you won't. But my point is, when you least expect it. BAM. You know what I have been through with men. Now I am happier than I ever have been. I have never seen soomeone your age who is so mature and has there sh*t so together, so I know it won't take you as long as it did me to find what you seek. But Greg was worth the wait for me. Your Prince will come. In them meantime you have so much to rejoice in, like you said. A great job, a great home. Great 40 year old friends... :) You are like a fine wine....getting better with age. Exciting things are in store for you in your life. I love you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERFREE 1/16/2013 8:19PM

    Oh my...23 was it for me too...I just felt different, actually 22 I really felt different...older maybe...But seriously 25 killed me. 26 I just ignored...and 27 is coming up soon and I have the exact same feelings about becoming a mother....I know right now I can't handle that...but at the same time....the days are flying by another year gone! I get it! I used to say I want to have kids by the time I'm 25 and now its moved to 30 and be dnoe having them by 35....But mr boyfriend like I was saying before....thinks that we should be together like 5 more years before proposing and then be married for a couple years before having kids...NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I get really angry when he talks about because I'm like you are a man you can wait to have kids til your 50 if you want! But I'm not waiting until I'm 35 or 40 and then maybe risk not being able to and then not be free from child rearing until I'm almost 60 jeeze. he obviously doesnt think about it like I do, like right now I don't have much money, I'm not doing what I want to do in my career, I'm not going the places I want to go. I'm living day to day doing the same If I don't have kids until I'm like 30 freaken 5! Then I will be 55 60 before they leave the house....and I don't want to have THAT be MY time to go live life how I would like...Id rather have kids as soon as possible and at least get em out of the house by the time I'm 50! lol Well good thing I didn't send this messege the day you were so blue hahaha because I am SUCH a downer! But at least you know that your not the only one!

Report Inappropriate Comment
POISONGIRL999 1/16/2013 12:57PM

    Turning 27 was horrible for me. I can't explain it, and people did make fun of me for it. Like you, I know it's not that I'm old, but it's like reality hit home that I'm not really young and carefree anymore either. I don't know, 27 just sucked. 28 was better, I was over the hump by then. Happy early Birthday :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
RWILSON19 1/16/2013 12:45PM

  23 Was a real turning point for me. It went from being Im soo glad to have my highschool days behind me and move on to, OMG, I wish I could go back and do things differntly. I married at 24 and had my daughter at 25 and sometimes I wish I would have had the chance to live for me and work on me before jumping in to everything. I think thats the reason I have such a hard time fighing my weight. You are a wonderful persona and you will be a mother one day. I know it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAHUDSONCHEF 1/16/2013 11:21AM

    Steph, I know how you're feeling...I'm now only 4 months away from 45, and my "crisis" b-day was 44...when I realized that my child-bearing days were probably closed. My late hubby and I wanted children, but were never blessed with them. He died over 8 years ago, and I never expected to be alone this long. I expected to re-marry quickly, and raise children. Well, God's plans aren't always the same as our own, so here I sit.

I've been down a bit myself lately over all that, the holidays did it to me. But, I have victories in this past year to look back on, too. It's awesome that you can see all the strides forward you've made in this last year...means your head's in the right place. :)

Praying for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMSOOZEEQ 1/16/2013 12:02AM

    Well my friend, you have gotten some really awesome comments to this blog! You and I have already talked about this so I am just going to say....I heart you and you know that I am here for you anytime you need me. You know that. Birthday blues are so hard and I know I have had a few. Shoot, I remember spending my 30th birthday alone while my kids and hubby were out somewhere. No one told me happy birthday that day so I cried myself to sleep singing it to myself!

Yeah thanks for not calling me ancient! lol emoticon

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTLIKEALICE 1/15/2013 11:44PM

    I love this. Mostly because not only are you in touch with your feelings and recognize them, but you have the answers right there. You are amazingly self aware and that is very rare (I hear this a lot from my counselors so we are alike in this respect and it is a very awesome trait.) I have a lot of the same feelings even though I am on different sides of a lot of your issues. I HAVE a family, that I feel like I could provide for better had I waited and had a career instead of a job (I have an awesome job that pays decent but I wont stay in forever.) I wanted a family later in life, but got mine younger with someone who I battle with constantly. I believe with all my heart this is not something you will have to endue. Kudos to you for having stability in your life, drive, determination, and the sight to plan your future.. You will be secure and ready when you find the person whose DNA you wanna blend with to make a family. Someone who deserves your awesomeness. Keep on working on making yourself happy, and that someone is gonna come along and share in that joy. You rock, and I appreciate being able to be with you on this journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAN0415 1/15/2013 9:03PM

    Ok, please don't take this as negative, because I mean this with so much Loveand so much light:

Right after my divorce, I felt very low and someone said to me:
"You feel you have nothing, but do you know there are people in this world PRAYING, begging, asking for the things you do have?!"

It made me re-evaluate, although I didn't (and still don't) have everything I wanted, I do have more than some, and that made me feel blessed!

You are blessed too, to have friends and family and a job, and to be succeeding on this Healthy Lifestyle journey.

We are all also blessed to have you as a Spark Friend!

Wishing you all the best, and for an awesome Birthday!!!! Go out with your friends, have a blast-YOU DESERVE IT!!

-With much love,

Report Inappropriate Comment
WEBEZE 1/15/2013 8:55PM

    I have had birthdays like this as well. I did not marry until I was 27 and did not have my son until 3 days before I turned 31. I was unable to have any more children. Can't pinpoint which birthday was more a crisis than others since they all just piled up on me in a blur. For my hubby his crisis birthday was when he turned 25. To me it is not unusual to feel like this in your 20's.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PRINCESSAMY 1/15/2013 4:25PM

    I felt the same way you did. Then I turned 31.... that was the night I got pregnant. The last 3 years have been a changing experience. I look back and I am so grateful to have been through what I have been through. Its makes me a better mom, girlfriend, friend, daughter.

This too shall pass... you are going through it because one day in the future you will need the knowledge.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JACOBSBELOVED 1/15/2013 2:58PM

    First off, I love your disclaimer! You know one of the reasons why I made my page private is because of people like that. And so far, there is not one person who is just leaving a random stream of emoticons, which doesn't exactly show support and understanding. I'm glad all of your true friends are commenting and they all seem to care.

For me, 24 was THAT age. I was starting to realize that I will not be having my first child when I am 25, like I had planned in my head for several years. Money was still tight with hubby and me and he was gone for work a lot as well, but it was mostly because of my health. I know, in a sense, I did it to myself by not losing more weight by the time I was 25. However, it doesn't make it any easier to accept.

Like you said, I know logically that I am not even close to being old, but I feel like I could have done more with my life. I never did find my career like I thought I would have. I thought I would get started having children sooner. I thought we would have bought a house by now. I thought I would be healthier by now. I just wish I was more realistic and would allow room for missteps while I was spending years dreaming of all this when I was in college. I thought it would be a lot easier than it really is.

I do, however, see several of these things falling into place. I wanted them to happen sooner but now was apparently a better time. We will have our first home this summer, we have been talking baby quite a bit lately, hubby and I agreed that a part-time job for me is quite perfect, and losing weight slowly is not as bad as I thought it would be.

Your longing to be a mother really makes me sympathize with you. You know all I can talk about is having children and everything you said is so relatable. I always said, too, that if we couldn't have our own biological children then we would adopt. However, we would really love to have children that possess our physical traits.

I know you are generally a very happy and positive person and I can completely relate with the birthday blues! You're allowed to want more for yourself and having a bit of the birthday blues is understandable. You're not going to allow yourself to comfort eat and you are still looking at the postives in your life.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSICA_STULTZ 1/15/2013 1:42PM

    Girl.. Look at all this support you have! I haven't quite hit 27.. but I do feel some sort of blues on the things I have not yet accomplished. Let me just say.. The things that used to bug you, you have made HUGE steps to change. You are definitely not anywhere near the weight you used to be (and you are looking amazing!), you said you bought your own place (this is one of my blues.. I really want to settle down somewhere), you have found your perfect job, and you are putting yourself out there in the dating world. You have made so many changes that you should definitely be proud of. I know it isn't realistic to have no blues but I hope you can get past them soon because you are an amazing person that deserves to be happy!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATTACKFATCAT 1/15/2013 1:13PM

    It is perfectly OK to feel that way and I completely understand. It's more important that you acknowledge those feelings are real rather than just stuffing them makes it easier to combat them head on instead of ignoring them and turning to food instead.

It sounds like you have thought a lot about your own feelings and why you feel that way. What I love is that you posted your negative thoughts AND the positive affirmations to show those negative thoughts just aren't true. Read those out loud a few times to yourself, stick them up on your mirror, whatever you need to do to see the positive ones. It will be hard to do at first, especially if you are in a negative mindset, but it DOES help with your brain's programming. When I do this and practice it, later on, if I have a negative thought like that, my mind is much less likely to dwell on it and will quickly move to positive affirmation.

You have goals in life, and even if you are working towards them, having a milestone like your birthday each year is a way to temporarily make you feel a bit down if you aren't quite where you expected to be. I think we all have experienced that at least at some point in our life. At 31, I am nowhere near where I thought I'd be at 21 or even 25. Some of it's bad, but a lot of it is good. The most important thing you can do is to learn to love yourself, heal any emotional wounds, and really figure out what you want out of life. This isn't just about losing's about becoming the person you want to be inside and out.

"No one loves you..." simply isn't true. YOU love you. WE love you. And the more you put yourself out there and let yourself shine, the more likely you'll be beating off the men with a baseball bat. The fantastic thing about that is that you'll have so much confidence in yourself and what you want, you will weed through the bad ones and find the right one for you. You won't settle, even if that means you have to be a little patient. That is a true test of a strong woman, which is what you are becoming right before our eyes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHIEBOOPS 1/15/2013 11:36AM

    Wow. I am in awe of the number of people who are on par with these feelings. I also had a hard year at 22. For some reason that was my year- suddenly realising that THIS is my life and I had planned on mentioning how I have no advice but that I can 100% relate and then I read all these wonderful comments of other people who ALSO feel the funnies around their birthdays.

I'm not sure we will ever feel satisfied with where we are in life. I'm blessed- I found my hubby at 18, married at 20, and am pregnant with my first at 24. I have "everything going" for me- or so they say. And I do. Like you, I am a generally happy person. I am very grateful for the blessings I have been given, and I don't want to sound like a spoiled child. But every year I suffer extreme guilt with the idea that I haven't done or accomplished enough for my age. It's my own sort of blues- and it can be so overwhelming. But I am convinced that there is a desire in my heart to not be content with where I am. To be thankful of where I am. To be content with what I have. But to be discontent in where I am. I am meant for so much more. You are meant for so much more.

I think you did a brilliant thing compiling your blessings list. I think you should continue along that vein too. But I think it's okay to be angsty and discontent IF IT INSPIRES CHANGE. For me, it comes to a point where I tell myself (as I'm telling you) "It's your call- you can be discontent in where you are, and change it or be sad and wallow in it. What do you want?" So dear friend, what do you want? Wallow if you choose- or make the changes you want to make (but were too afraid to specify outloud). The choice is yours.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WHOVIANGIRL23 1/15/2013 11:10AM

    I read it, not boring at all! It's nice to get a glimpse into peoples head! I've had many of those thoughts myself. It's hard to tell yourself to stop thinking them and focus on the positive, because sometimes, all your brain wants to do is focus on the negative.

Keep pushing forward. You are well on your way to success, and once you reach the finish line, you will look back and say WOW, look at all that I accomplished!

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, *hugs*

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADARKARA 1/15/2013 11:08AM

    You've come very far in your journey, and I think it's totally normal to have those sorts of feelings! I think people that say they don't think those things are liars. I didn't get married until I was 28, and I'm 31 going on 32 now and still don't have kids, so I wouldn't worry about that either. I am so not ready yet.

On adoption, I think that's a wonderful thing! (I am an adopted child.) My adoptive parents were older (38 when I was born) and I really appreciated their maturity level compared to some of my friends parents. There's nothing wrong with being an older parent!

I think you're doing great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMMAEKAY 1/15/2013 10:59AM

    It is so totally normal to have these kinds of introspective thoughts around any kind of anniversaries, and especially our birthdays. My birthday last year was my big "a-ha" moment, where I resolved to change my life and lose this weight. We think about things like this because our birthdays remind us of the passage of time - we begin to think that time is short, and that we must hurry along to the next goal.

That's just not true. You have time, Steph. You have all the time in the world to find yourself, to find a partner, to be a mother, to rock that career... Life is long! There is time.

I find that my biggest "birthday blues" come from comparing my life to the lives of my peers, instead of to my own life. My friends are married, own their homes, have had their first children, completed college, etc etc. I have done none of those things, but I still feel proud of myself because although my accomplishments are not the SAME as theirs, they are worth no less.

The same is true for you! You have accomplished a great deal, grown and changed - you have every right to be proud of yourself! You are living a wonderful life - try not to waste too much time getting down on yourself.


Report Inappropriate Comment
NORSEGODDESS34 1/15/2013 10:29AM

    I so, So, SO understand this. 27 was a REALLY difficult birthday for me too. In fact, I had a complete meltdown--it was large and super embarassing (think 2-year old tantrum.) I think it's kind of normal, and everyone has their "27". For some people it's 30, other's is 65. For me, 27 (like you) represented all of the things that I didn't have, instead of all of the things that I had already accomplished. You have a great list of things that you DO have, and that is awesome!! Just keep focusing on YOU, and all of the "wants" that you don't have yet, will come. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEMCC45 1/15/2013 9:51AM

    This wasn't long and boring at all!! I think the best birthday gift you should give yourself, is something related to each of your change in thinking - to show just how much progress you have made in this last amazing year of your life. Just something simple and small, for example:

1) No longer the fattest you have been, in fact smallest - well duh, go buy yourself something new to wear. This sounds crazy, but a fresh set of well fitting panties is an awesome reward, because nobody knows it but you! I spent a STUPID amount of time in La Senza (Canadian version of VS) when I got to my goal weight, and wearing those panties made me feel all brand new!

2) You own your own condo - hold the PHONE - JEALOUS! Go buy a little decoration or kitchen gadget. Even just a little one from Walmart for your bathroom. A new fresh bathmat or funky vase.

3) A job you love. Get yourself something for your desk, or because I know you love walking on your breaks, treat yourself to an iTunes card and get yourself some new music to walk to.

4) The dating life - Okay, this may be difficult to put a monetary reward, but maybe treat yourself to a date! A herbal tea and manicure date, or a walk in a nice park date! Love yourself first!

5) Working on yourself from the inside out. Well, that's just the key, isn't it? To all of this. Get yourself something that is so true to you and privately celebrated.

You are doing so incredibly amazing Stephanie - it's normal to get a little weirded out at birthday time - but age ain't nothin' but a number. You as a person have more energy, life, and charisma now than you did a year ago, so screw what the calendar has to say. You are making the best of yourself, and that's all anyone can ask for!

Happy Birthday!!! (Ya know, in case I go into labour or something)

Here's a emoticon instead of a cake - but you do what you want emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIMELAG 1/15/2013 9:12AM

    I don't have anything particularly helpful or witty to say, but I couldn't just let this blog slide by. We all care about you! Birthdays can be a a real source of anxiety and stress, regardless of what age. Life is a work in progress and just think about how much you have changed and progressed the past few years! I think you are going to have an AMAZING year, and I can't wait to read all about it.


Report Inappropriate Comment
AMARILYNH 1/15/2013 7:49AM

    OMG - So let me tell you how I got here. I turned on my computer, came to SP, did my 'spin', checked my 'friend feed' and saw my friend Elizabeth had commented on your blog (and I see my friend Sharon has replied too). I was intrigued by the 'title' as my birthday is two days away and I decided to check it out. I smiled at your 'then get to steppin'. As soon as I saw you say you are 27 I knew I'd be responding so I read another paragraph then decided to go get my first cup of coffee before reading the rest and replying.

In the kitchen I was remembering my 25th birthday and how I was feeling that day. I was SO unhappy! I was in a bad marriage (had been since I was 20), knew I needed to do something about that (which was HARD since I'm the youngest of 9 children, none of my siblings had been divorced, and our religion really really frowned on divorce), and DESPERATELY wanted a baby!

So I come back with my coffee, sit back down to read - and see "I really would like to be a mother SOMEDAY." Holy cow!! OMG - you are ME! "I am working on myself from the inside out. I am trying to learn about myself and figure out the person I want to be, and I have come a long way in many areas."

That is exactly what I'd been doing before that birthday! Reading self help books, planning my future without my ex, working on getting up the nerve to leave him. But on that day I was thinking how I didn't have the nerve to leave, I might never have a child, life was passing me by, etc, etc.

What changed? Just a few days later I learned I was pregnant! When my baby girl was one year and one month old I left my ex - and TWO months later I met the love of my life. Talk about scary!! I was SO afraid of making another mistake and yet Phil seemed perfect.

And now? Well, my baby girl will be 40 in October, Phil and I have been happily married for 37 years (well happily for at least 36 of them - every marriage has hard times a few years in that you must work through) and I can truthfully tell you I've had an AWESOME life!! And I hope to have many, many more happy, fit years!!

I said all that to say this - there is HOPE! YOU have the ability to make your life into your dream life - you KNOW that - look at what you've done in the last few years!! When I'm feeling a bit down I love the serenity prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." My favorite part is "the courage to change the things I can" - I don't really like that there are things I cannot change LOL but I LOVE that there are many, many things that I can change to make my life better and happier.

As for opening your heart in blogs, if some insensitive person dares to criticize you just use your delete key - you don't need them in your life. Your feelings are your own - but sometimes in sharing them you can help others!! I only hope my words can help YOU - because you are a wonderful, special, unique person and you deserve the VERY BEST!! Happy birthday!!!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/15/2013 7:52:33 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
AELI2468 1/15/2013 6:34AM

    It is amazing that it is only 6:30am EST and you already have SOOO many great responses! I can't add anything great other than, 20's are a tough time as you really do transition to 'adult'! I overall, was much happier once I got to my 30's.

You really have accomplished so much and I am glad YOU were able to recognize it!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MOXIE26 1/15/2013 6:21AM

    I can really relate. Birthdays have long been a time to take account of my life and I'm always finding it lacking. But this year, I gave myself the birthday present of forgiveness and time. Yeah, I've made mistakes and things haven't gone the way I planned but I can and will do better. I will give myself time to take care of me.

I love the way you listed all the positives. You have accomplished a great deal! Heck, just the fact that you're a recent homeowner in this economy is an accomplishment! The rest will come. BTW, I didn't marry until I was 27 (almost 28) and had my daughters at 28 and 35. Life IS good!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIBELULITA 1/15/2013 5:59AM

    Let me say that your blog could have been written by me when I was your age. It felt like reading my diary. I used to cry ,wondering why what seemed to happen to other people and was so normal (ie,have a steady boyfriend, kids etc) never happened to me. What was so wrong with me that noone wanted my love when I had so much to give? I hadn't even been out on a date for 10 exaggeration. I knew that even though I was fat that I had a pretty face, a good sense of humour, was clever and cultured, but noone seemed interested in me at all.

At the age of 31 on the 1st Jan I decided that this was the year that I was going to forget all about men and give all the love I had to give to myself. I planned that before the year was out I'd have bought my own apartment instead of renting and that I would fill my life with things to fulfill me: travel, flamenco classes, whatever.

My friends now say that the more I did things for me and stopped people pleasing the more I started to glow and shine. I did buy my apartment that year in March, and when I went to the disco to celebrate it I met my partner of 11 years with who I have a beautiful little girl. He said that when he saw me he saw so much happiness and self-confidence that I seemed to have an aura around me and he was drawn to me like a moth to a lightbulb. He wasn't the only one like that that night or for a while afterwars. From having no attention from men I seemed to have it everywhere regardless of my weight and age.

What I think I am trying to say in a nutshell is that I totally undeerstand how you feel, but when you learn to accept yourself despite your percieved imperfections that you open yourself up to letting someone love you. If you think your amazing then someone else will find it easier to believe that too. Also, that true love doesn't have a time limit and could be just around the corner bringing you a child too. Whatever, with or without the love of another person, the journey starts with yourself, with self-love and self-acceptance.

I think in my ramblings this may not be very coherant, but I hope I haven given you hope whaich is what my intention was emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    God has put in women the desire to be mothers. Babies are sooooo cute. That's how we get hooked in. My oDD didn't get married till she was 35. We have had many discussions about it being a "married with kids" world.

The changes you have made are AMAZING!!!!!! Praying for you,

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAESEA78 1/15/2013 5:21AM

    I am sorry that you are feeling down, especially so close to your special day. I want you to know that I think you are just outright awesome. You always have such nice things to say and are so positive and helpful to everyone else. I think that those of us with low self-esteem are so hard on ourselves which actually make matters worse. Look at your list tho-those are AMAZING things that have changed for the better in your life. You are on your way-for real. Also, something to think about... 1st i think adoption is awesome!! I hope one day to be in a place, when my kiddos are a little older, to give a child that doesn't have one, a forever home. I hope when I say this it doesn't come out wrong and I think you know I mean well...With technology today, if having a biological child is really important to you, you can make that happen-even as a single person. I mean, if you are finacially able to adopt and threw the idea of one day doing that around even as a would-be single mommy, you could also throw around the idea of having a bio baby too. I know this isn't exactly what you are getting at but just something to think about.
I do believe, however, you are absolutely amazing and there is a guy out there for you to sweep you off your feet and you guys will be able to have some perfect littles, adopted and/or bio. I know they would grow up to be amazing people because they will have you as their mommy!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LRSILVER 1/15/2013 4:49AM

    You are making so many positive changes. You Will succeed. You have moved in ways to love yourself. Others are bound to love you too. Keep it up. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MERRY_XMAS 1/15/2013 4:25AM

    These are the thoughts of my bestie and myself when it comes to birthdays. But as you said, you are in a much better place now (regarding your life) and you have to remind it to yourself.

As for the adoption, I think it's one of the most honorable and noble things to do. I don't judge the people who try to have a child with αrtificial insemination, but I think that they could focus all this effort into raising a child instead of trying to create it. I have thought of adopting a child, too, when it's the right time and if there is no man in my life.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!


Report Inappropriate Comment
SPSPSP1 1/15/2013 4:13AM

    So wonderful how far you've come and that you are staying proactive! Of course, we all have days where we're feeling the blues (esp around bdays) so just be gentle with yourself and continue listing all the goals you've met as well as all that you're grateful for. You are an inspiration!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Good day: Woohoo Jar, Reward for Onederland & New Shoes!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Today was just a good day. emoticon Walked 2 miles at the mall with bro to get some exercise in, I'm in range, made some delicious turkey meatballs, today is definitely a good one.

I don't know if you guys have seen this idea floating around, apparently it's on facebook, pinterest and all of that. But I saw that a fellow sparker BogusAnnie is making a Woohoo jar! She has a vlog on it if you want to check out the details, it's basically a jar where you write down good or happy things that happen throughout the year. Then at the end of the year you can open it and read through all the good things that have happened. Or, if you are feeling down and need a pick me up, looking through the jar and reading it could be very inspiring. I think it would be a great way to record those NSV's and just happy things in everyday life that we feel good about in the moment but forget about them shortly after. I got some cute paper and stickers from the store, and I decided to use this candle holder I had at home. I love pumpkins because it reminds me of Fall/Halloween/Cinderella which I love love love, so that seems perfect for a emoticon jar!

I decided my reward for getting to Onederland was an Ipod Touch 5... Target had a deal where if you bought it this week, you could get a $30 Target gift card. I couldn't pass this up so I got it today. It is at my brothers house and he has strict orders not to give it to me until I get to 199, and he means business! emoticon I really want it, and I don't have a fancy smart phone so this is going to be my coolest gadget yet. Plus I will use it at work when I walk my laps, woohoo.

Got some new work shoes that are great for walking, super excited about that. It doesn't take much to make me happy these days. emoticon

I hope everyone is having a nice week! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 1/14/2013 2:53PM

    Good Idea!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARSUB99 1/14/2013 10:32AM

    I love the woo hoo jar ! Thanks for sharing - - - and New Shoes !!! That's such a great treat - I got new shoes recently and they are amazing! Go walk off those pounds to Onederland! You will be there soon!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMMELINEE3 1/12/2013 9:26AM

    a whoohoo jar that is a good idea!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEMCC45 1/12/2013 4:55AM

    We are doing the Woohoo jar too!

I LOVE turkey meatballs - holy freaking yum, Brad made some this week - lovveeesss them

Love hearing your excited positivity in this blog, yeah! That ipod will be on you in no time!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTLIKEALICE 1/12/2013 3:43AM

    I have a jar. I already have a few things in it. I get to add that I got on the Silver Spies today! Totally stoked! Woot! Yay for you on your reward! You will have it in no time!!!!
Oh! And I hope you dont mind, I totally am stealing the tracking idea you have for weigh ins for BLC to put on my spark page. I've been trying to figure out where to put it, and I saw your format, and love it! If you do mind, send me a message and I wont do it! (Imitation is the highest form of flattery ;-) )

Report Inappropriate Comment
PUNKY100 1/11/2013 3:32PM

    A WooHoo jar is an awesome idea!!

I can't WAIT to get new will feel like a new walk altogether!

I hope you get your hands on that ipod soon, it would have been hard for me to give it up to my bro in the first place lol :-D

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAN0415 1/11/2013 11:38AM

    I love Cinderella too!
I have loads of proncess stuff, we are all princesses at heart, aren't we?

Love your reward system, you will have the IPOD Touch in your hand in no time!

Best wishes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KASTASTROPHY 1/11/2013 8:31AM

    I absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE your woohoo jar idea!!! I am so going to use that and think that that will be a great way to make it through this year!!!! And once you get your ipod touch you HAVE to put it's raining men on there for me!!!! =D There is nothing in life that that song can't fix!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    emoticon Keep your eye on the prize! You know where it is and you have the visual to keep you keeping on until it is YOURS! How great that you have your brother on your side and your spark and BLC friends too. What an awesome support system. You will be rockin' that pink iPod Touch SOON in ONEderland!

I have a January Jar and did a blog on it. I got the idea from another sparker who did one too. This idea in one form or the other is infectious for sure! Maybe we can have a party on 12/31 and open them "together" and celebrate a year FULL of FUN and magically memorable moments!

Bring it!

Comment edited on: 1/11/2013 7:22:48 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
COOKIE_AT_51 1/11/2013 7:04AM

    Great ideas about the jar ... I had heard of putting "good things" in it but I LOVE the idea of NSV's. emoticon
Spark on towards Onderland ... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LRSILVER 1/11/2013 6:55AM

    Great idea. I love it. You will be there before you knowit.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIBELULITA 1/11/2013 6:30AM

    I think the Woo Hoo Jar is a lovely ides. I'm going to make one too. And as for the rest.....keep your eye on the prize and that Ipod will be yours in no time emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMSOOZEEQ 1/11/2013 2:46AM

    emoticon I can see there emoticon & emoticon from here! I am so proud of you! I am also glad that your bro is going to support you in your quest to Onederland and the iPod.

emoticon it is just around the corner!


Report Inappropriate Comment
EDDYMEESE 1/11/2013 1:34AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
THESHELBSTER 1/11/2013 12:50AM

    Love this! All of it! Fantastic! ONEderland is just around the corner for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSICA_STULTZ 1/10/2013 11:36PM

    Sometimes it takes just a little bit more motivation to get to that certain goal. I'm excited for you to hit Onederland soon.. and I can bet you are overly excited now. Before I hit it, I felt like it wasn't such a huge deal.. but when I hit it, something just clicked and it felt like a HUGE achievement. Glad you could get your brother involved so there is no way you are getting it without achieving some goals!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERFREE 1/10/2013 6:15PM

    Awesome! Now I bet you will really push on to onederland because you already bought it and its just sitting there waiting for you!!!! lol Thats great you got new work/walking shoes, I have really been needing some, but will have to wait a couple paychecks.....and the woohoo jar is a great idea! I haven't heard of them but it sounds fantastic!! I'm starting one today! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JACOBSBELOVED 1/10/2013 3:27PM

    That pink ipod is super cute! It's nice that your brother is on board and is supporting you. I think you totally deserve a prize for reaching Onederland. It's a big deal!

I like the Woohoo! Jar idea as well. I've seen it on Pinterest quite a bit and I think it's a really good tool to have!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITFRIT 1/10/2013 2:33PM

    WTG!!!! Love the idea, might have to steal it like many others are as well I am sure. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WEBEZE 1/10/2013 2:30PM

    I need a wohoo jar. Awesome reward for hitting onederland. You will be there soon. Your walking shoes look almost like mine. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SARI_GIRL 1/10/2013 2:25PM

    Joy is radiating from this blog, love your positive attitude!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WHOVIANGIRL23 1/10/2013 11:38AM

    I just have to say YAY TARGET because I work there.

Secondly, I bet you'll be in Onederland in no time. And it's SUCH an amazing feeling when you get there! I think the Ipod is a really good reward for yourself. I also like the idea of a emoticon jar. Keep it up, you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHIEBOOPS 1/10/2013 11:37AM

    Yeah! Way to go!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAHUDSONCHEF 1/10/2013 10:58AM

    Steph, I love the idea of the woohoo jar! It won't be long now before you're playing with that new iPod!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KJELLYBEAN15 1/10/2013 10:52AM

    What a great idea that WooHoo jar is. I think it would be very rewarding and motivating, especially when you begin to start doubting why you are here. Hope you have a good day.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SKINNIESOMEDAY 1/10/2013 10:35AM

    I had heard of the woo hoo jar but I'm liking the ipod 5 for reaching onederland ! that's one of my goals for this year also !! Congrats on the rewards and for reaching for your goals..... YOU are worth it !!


Report Inappropriate Comment
ATTACKFATCAT 1/10/2013 10:04AM

    I really like the Woo Hoo Jar idea and actually hadn't seen it before. Definitely setting one up myself as well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DUMBBELLE84 1/10/2013 9:58AM

  That jar is such a great idea, I think I'll have to make one too. Thanks for sharing that! Is so great that you have your reward picked out. Just a bit of extra motivation! I'm not far from a few big achievements myself, so I need to think of something as well.
Hope your day stays emoticon & emoticon !

Report Inappropriate Comment
KITKAT717 1/10/2013 8:07AM

    You go girl!! Good luck to you!! you can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MERRY_XMAS 1/10/2013 5:22AM

    You totally deserve it!
Well done!

Report Inappropriate Comment
A-STRONGER-ME 1/10/2013 5:08AM

    Work hard - get there soon!!

While the rewards are absolutely fantastic - I am loving the idea of the Woo Hoo Jar. Thanks for sharing!

And good luck - oh wait a minute - you don't need luck when you are working so hard!! You go girl!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

January Check In #1

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

So this year is not quite off to the start I was hoping for. It is definitely a work in progress with me revamping my whole exercise routine and adding strength training. I think I just thought I was a robot, and could turn it "on" just like that. Going from almost no strength training to 5 days a week is a process and I'm realizing I have to build up to it. I'm not going to change my goals, but you will see a lot of my goals aren't 5/5 or 7/7. I am definitely a work in progress but I don't want to lose sight of the goals I set, but I am learning to take it one step at a time.

Yesterday I was sick, and am still sick today but I am feeling 10 times better and I think this cold is on it's way out! emoticon Then on top of that, my weight is fluctuating big time emoticon and it's not adorable. As any of you know I have been struggling with gaining and losing the same 5 or so pounds and feeling like my body refuses to go under 212. But I'm not going to go into that because I have beat that to death in previous blogs and I don't want the focus to be solely on the scale. But I have accepted what's done is done and I am just continuing to move forward.

In other news though I am so looking forward to the start of BLC 21. emoticon My captain even reminded me that I need to stop getting caught up on the few pounds I've gained and just push forward. I can't keep moping about these newly "found" pounds, but I can work to get rid of them. emoticon

emoticon So here is the recap for January 2 - January 8th. emoticon

emoticon Track water and get a minimum of 8 glasses. 7/7 days. emoticon

emoticon Strength Training: 2/5 days (This is one that needs a lot of work)

emoticon Cardio: 5/7 days (Two "rest days" but include walking) This would have been 6 out of 7 before the blasted cold. Oh well. That's life lol.

emoticon 1000 Monthly Fitness Minutes: 246/1000
(This goal was added after I realized I have not had a 1000 minute fitness month since October, eek!)

emoticon Track Food: 7/7 days emoticon

emoticon Stay In Range: 4/7 days (This is going to be my number one focus for the following week to get to 7/7!)

emoticon Blog once per week: This is it, so emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBELULITA 1/10/2013 10:58AM

    I think you're doing really well, and building your way back up with baby steps is the only realsitic way to achieve what you want without giving up first emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARSUB99 1/9/2013 8:05PM

    Hey Girl! Here's what my Mr. Fitness tells me about strength training. One day upper body next day lower body - alternate like this if you are doing 5 times a week or you will fatigue out. Make sure you take in lots of lean protein.... it's really good to do a protein shake within 30 minutes of finishing your workout.
Keep up the cardio as many days as you like - and here's the one I learned this week after being stuck for 2 months in the same 5 lb range..... switch up the fitness routine every 4 - 5 weeks to keep from getting stuck - you have to change it up - rev up reps or sets etc.... I switched my routine last week and dropped 3 lbs. Still eating in the same range - all I did different was switched the workout.
Try it! See if it works for you..... you need a break! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I'm sorry you didn't get the start that you were hoping for, but knowing you, you're going to keep pushing. :)

I'm so excited for you to be starting another BLC! I feel like it was a really positive experience for you the first time, and I feel like you will be getting double support with your new teammates. Not to mention, it's always exciting to start something new and it may just be the thing to give you that extra motivation.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAN0415 1/9/2013 1:58PM

    The trainers at my gym recommend for women strength trainming 3 times a week, and then cardio as many days a week as you like.

The research shows you need to give your muscles 1 day of rest between sessions, ESPECIALLY when you start, because muscles tear and need time to repair.
I hope that helps.

The biggest thing you can do to get past that number is load up on veggies these next 7 days, and stay withing your calorie range- the night before, plan out what you will eat the next day and make sure it's within your calorie range.
Best wishes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATTACKFATCAT 1/9/2013 12:25PM

    Strength training is a tough thing to start out with 5 days a week. Instead of just tossing it aside entirely, you just reset your expectations. That's great! I think you have some good goals for the week and not a bad start to the year even if it's not what you had planned. emoticon

With the scale bouncing around, maybe it's time to just focus on those healthy habit goals you've got set for the next few weeks. At some point you'll bust through that 212 mark!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KMM1123 1/9/2013 1:11AM

    Your "not quite the start you were hoping for" has me walking away hanging my head in shame.

It looks like you're doing awesome! Keep up the good work!


Report Inappropriate Comment
IMSOOZEEQ 1/9/2013 1:00AM

    Okay so we have already discussed all this so I am not going to beat a dead horse! lol I just have to say that I am glad that you are seeing the things that need to change and you are trying to make those changes. I also am glad that you looked back and saw that you needed to get back to exercising more. I will be ready to cheer when you hit that 1000 minutes for January!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERFREE 1/9/2013 12:47AM

    You are doing good, and I bet next week you will get up to your 1000 fitness minutes and stay in your calorie range! Thanks so much for the comment on my page, I did do a vlog when I got back from the Dr. but I wasn't able to upload it earlier so its uploading now! I am determined to make January end well! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSICA_STULTZ 1/9/2013 12:33AM

    Keep up the hard work.. Whether or not it's all 5/5 or 7/7.. I'd say you are doing pretty dang good so far!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRISSA1669 1/8/2013 9:22PM

    Setting the goal is half the battle...........whether we are on point 100% or not, at least when we have goals, there is something to strive toward!! So keep it moving forward, no reason to look back anyway, can't change the past. Good job incorporating the strength training, I am sure you'll be really happy with the results once it's gotten going regularly, but it is hard to get new stuff going and keep it going at'll do it...I can relate about the losing/gaining same 5 pounds...happens to me all the time but I'll keep pushing forward as well!! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment

Finding Positive In The Negatives...

Sunday, January 06, 2013

So my physical part of my weight loss journey has definitely stalled quite a bit. I believe there are several things contributing to that at the moment. Some of those things include a change in birth control, my body plateauing, etc. But I also contribute it to me slacking off a bit, I need to push harder and I think I am finally ready to really pump it up and make this my number one focus again. I have been 212-216 since Halloween, and that is definitely not how I wanted this to go. I wanted to be in Onederland by now or at least right on the cusp, but all I can do is move forward.

But while the physical part of my journey has stalled, my emotional/mental journey never stops. I never stop trying to understand my emotions and what leads me to emotionally eat at times when I know it's counterproductive to my journey. I am learning a lot about myself, and I have definitely changed as a person. I have definitely changed for the better and I am much kinder to myself. I am no longer putting myself down (with the exception of an occasional "oh god, you are so bloated your pants are tight" comment here or there), and I feel SO much better. My outside has changed, sure, but the changes on my inside are the true gift.

With that said I have been doing my best to find positives in the things that seem negative, but I am also not trying to sugar coat anything and make things seem emoticon's and emoticon's when they are actually emoticon & emoticon. I am finding that is a very delicate balance between trying not to beat yourself up for something, but also not sugar coating it to tell yourself that it's "no big deal". I don't want to sweep things under the rug, I want to face them head on, even if sometimes it gets difficult.

The fact that I have been within the same range since Halloween time is not okay with me. I wanted to be farther along in my journey, I am not content at 215ish pounds, and I refuse to settle for something I am not comfortable with. But on the other hand, the "old me" would have thrown in the towel at this point because I feel stuck. The old me would have gained anywhere from 10-25 pounds in the last 2ish months and would not be even attempting to try. So that is a positive. emoticon Another positive is that I now have some pretty excellent practice for maintenance. emoticon When I get to 180 (or possibly 170) I want a 5 pound range that is going to be my maintenance range and my weight loss journey is going to be the same as it is now, the only adjustment is getting to eat slightly more calories because I won't have to account for a deficit. So the fact that I did that for over 2 months and over the holidays at that shows me that I have definitely learned something about maintenance even if I didn't mean to. I am looking at the positives but while still pushing myself to reach my goals. I am finding it is so easy to get comfortable with where we are at when we've lost a decent amount of weight. It is a scary thought but just because I am happier and feeling better doesn't mean I am done pushing towards my goals.

So with that said, I am glad I have learned something about maintenance even if it wasn't planned, but now I want to push on to my goals so that I can get to my maintenance weight and put that knowledge to good use! Plus I have plenty of awesome Spark friends waiting for me in Onederland, I think I've kept them waiting long enough, so I promise to do my best to get there as soon as possible! Play time is over, and I need to remember to keep my eye on the emoticon!

I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend and that they are starting off 2013 on the right foot! I had a bit of a stumble, but I'm feeling much more sturdy now! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKINNIESOMEDAY 1/10/2013 10:43AM

    Great blog and I totally understand every emotion you were talking about and have been through them all ! This weight loss thing is a journey ! It truly is and there's more to the mental part sometimes than most normal weight people will EVER understand !
I know one thing someone told me to help with plateus's is calorie cycling .....where you eat at the low end of your calorie range one day and the high end the next day also with carbs. High carbs one day and low carbs next...... I'lve found it to helpme in the past ... it s very restrictive and you do really have to plan but It does shake your body up and get it moving !!


Report Inappropriate Comment
PRINCESSAMY 1/7/2013 12:20PM

    I know exactly how you feel! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I really enjoyed your blog and identified with your feelings. I was doing well until December and then stalled. Actually, I regained 5 lbs over Christmas. But, hey, in the past I would normally gain 10 lbs during Nov-Dec and keep it on, so even this small gain is progress. And I did keep tracking most days. As you said, even these experiences contribute to our learning and growing healthier, which is the end goal, after all. Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMCLELLAN 1/7/2013 9:16AM

    You can do this!!! I have been feeling the same way lately. I too had to stop and rethink things to get myself back into weight loss mode.

I kept having this problem of not losing and figured maybe it was the mind set of just thinking about the 90lbs I lost in 2012. So I printed out my graph and taped it to the wall in the room my elliptical is in. That way I can always see what I did, but now can think of this last 40lbs as a new journey, not as an extension of last year. It is hard to explain what I had to put through my mind, but it worked and now I'm off and losing again.

You will too, you will reach your goals.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERFREE 1/7/2013 3:37AM

    Sounds like you are doing great! you see what you have learned and it will pay off! I love the little Positive, patient and persistent thing at the end. I def need to do those three things and all will be better! I too can tell that this time is different just purely for the fact of just going up and down a few pounds during the holidays and that's it, because in the past it would be SO bad. I like how you ALWAYS add the (maybe 170 or possibly 170) after 180 lol You know you want the 170 and you will get it! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHIEBOOPS 1/7/2013 2:41AM

    I just adore everything you've said here. Way to be brave and face things head on. It's not the easy thing to do- that's for sure! I'm proud of you for your objective approach to this sucky plateau- I don't hear any "I'm not losing because I'm too lazy" or "I can't lose because of my new birth control". There aren't any excuses here!

Two things:

1. Personally, I gave my hormonal BC a 6 month trial period. If it didn't work out, I tried something else. Don't be afraid to go back to your Dr and try something different. There are options!

2. What is your go forward plan to beat the plateau? While you may have become lax about your diet- and accidentally taking in more or less calories than you thought, you might also need a change. Sometimes getting stricter on your diet is counterproductive. So just watch and go and evaluate :)

We're all on your side- whether in Onederland or not! I'm especially excited for your onederland announcement since we were so insyc before :) But there is no pressure, only love!

You can go this girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSICA_STULTZ 1/6/2013 11:19PM

    When I start to stall, my mom always tells me that I just need to keep at it and before you know it, the pounds will just fall off. Sometimes hard when it seems you have been stuck at the same weight for awhile. One of your best qualities is your persistence. I'm proud of you for not giving in. Sometimes it seems like giving up would just be easier.. but it definitely just makes things more frustrating for ourselves.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DUMBBELLE84 1/6/2013 9:23PM

  I am sooo glad you are treating yourself better... you deserve to be! And I think it really makes a difference in our success. I am also very excited for you to reach onederland. It will be here before you know it, and then 210-215 will be a distant memory... just like 272!!


Report Inappropriate Comment

    I'm glad you're not settling for things you don't really want. You want to push yourself more and get to that place you want to be in, and you are willing to do what it takes to get there.

It's really hard to push through the plateaus that your body gets stuck on. It seems like you've faced a couple of plateaus before and you've gotten past every single one of them. I have no doubt in my mind that you will blow right through this one. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment

"2013, the year of Stephanie!" (Just Kidding!)

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

The title of my blog is a "Friends" reference, I love that show!

I have never been one to get caught up in all the New Year Resolutions and stuff, but this year I am just beyond excited! I want 2013 to be my goal year (180 and then possibly on to 170), but I am not going to be getting all crazy about it. All I know is that I will weigh less at the beginning of 2014 than I do right now, and that in itself makes me happy.

I have filled out my planner for the month of January with exercises specific to the day, and a very specific treat day plan in place and I am just ready for January! BLC 21 starts on the 16th and that is an added bonus that I am very much looking forward to!

So as I've mentioned many times, trying to make a goal of losing a certain amount of weight in a month is not the right kind of goal for me. So I am going to make my January goals measureable and attainable. Here goes...

January Goals
emoticon: Blog once a week with a progress report. For BLC, my weeks are going to run Wednesday-Tuesday so every Tuesday I will blog about the progress for the week. My weigh in will not be until Wednesday morning, so my blog won't contain that information. I will weigh in and change my ticker accordingly on Wednesdays, but I don't want the focus of my blog to be how much weight I did or didn't lose. I want it to be about the measureable goals. emoticon

emoticon: Track water intake! I am a Spark Points Ho, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I have been known to "track 8 glasses of water" each day just to get those 5 points. Shame on me! So I will be working on earning those points like a nice girl. ;) emoticon

emoticon: Strength training! I have hardly done any strength training throughout my journey. *GASPS* That is not good, not good at all. It has been very hit and miss. My plan in place for January is to do strength training for the upper body Mon, Wed, and Fri, and legs/lower body strength training Tue and Thu. emoticon

emoticon: Cardio! That one comes a lot more easier to me than some of the others. I have specific cardio plans for the month. Saturday and Sundays are considered my "rest days" but I still intend to walk leisurely at work and get some laps in to prevent me from being almost sedentary at work on those days. emoticon

emoticon: Track food! That one is easy peasy for me. I have been tracking religiously for over 9 months, so that is a no brainer. I have capped off my own personal range at 1700 with an understanding that I can go up to 1800. So focusing on staying in range is also the goal. emoticon

I am ready for this New Year. I am under no illusion that the year will be spotless, but I am prepared for the bumps in the road that come along with this journey, and I feel like I will be able to handle it. I hope everyone is as excited as I am and is ready to get some serious work done in 2013! emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THETURTLEBEAR 1/3/2013 11:21AM

    Smart goals. I like the way you think!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETHIEBOOPS 1/3/2013 10:43AM

    LOVE friends!! Great plan too- you got this!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMSOOZEEQ 1/2/2013 9:29PM

    Well I am not surprised by this blog (because I got the preview before) but I am so impressed with the way you have thought everything through. I am glad you are making your plan right for you and that you are focusing on what you need to focus on and not focusing on the things that can be a stumbling block! You are going to see some great successes this year and I am so glad to be along for the ride!!!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAN0415 1/2/2013 8:31PM

    Those are great goals, and if you goal is to track your food daily, then the weight loss will come!

I wish you the best of luck!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERFREE 1/2/2013 3:42PM

    yes AWESOME you are!!! Sounds like some great goals to me! Simple, yet will be what gets you to where you want to be! To me 2013 is the year of SIMPLE! lol When its simple...there is less stress, less derailing, less crazy, and plain old win/lose, right/wrong. We do what we planned or we don't, but we keep going and learn what works and what doesn't. Heres to 2013!
I think its awesome that you are going to be incorporating more workouts this year, and emoticon NICE....on the water tracking! lol Spark points ho is right! emoticon Also I am SO excited for the weekly progress reports, but you have been doing good with blog lately :) lots n lots of em!!! LOVE IT

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRUNKJUNK 1/2/2013 2:23PM

    Steph what an awesome obtainable plan. I agree this is the year of Stephanie. Best wishes is all of your weight loss endeavors.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PRINCESSAMY 1/2/2013 2:22PM

    I love that you have a detail outline on how you will lose the weight! Congrats on a wonderful blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSICA_STULTZ 1/2/2013 1:47PM

    I'd say you definitely have attainable goals! Wish I could set specific days for specific things.. but I never know what is going on. Hoping the best for you this year! One thing I know.. is you are going to ROCK this year. I have a feeling you will easily hit goal plus some this year.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DUMBBELLE84 1/2/2013 11:38AM

  This all sounds great, Stephanie! Looking forward to reading your updates. I know you will do well this year!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIMELAG 1/2/2013 10:24AM

    Great plan. I love that you are taking the focus off the scale. The scale will take care of itself when you do all the other things you mentioned! Keep up the great work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMCLELLAN 1/2/2013 8:34AM

    Sounds like you have a great plan! You can do it!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Sounds like specific, attainable goals. You can rock this year.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LRSILVER 1/2/2013 4:54AM

    Great plan for a new svelte you. Make it happen

Report Inappropriate Comment
STRI23 1/2/2013 3:51AM

    Loved this post. I think it's very smart of you to not focus on the scale every month. Every time I make a plan I've tried to "schedule out" my weight loss and up disappointed because the scale doesn't always budge like I want it to. I think I'm going to take your lead and focus on my daily goals instead of lbs lost. It'll be hard not to obsess over the scale, but hopefully I'll get over it. Thanks for being my inspiration today. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Your enthusiasm is contagious and I love it!!!! You are definitely starting this year off right!

As always, I look forward to reading your blogs about your progress!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WEBEZE 1/2/2013 1:46AM

    Love your goals for the year. I too am not big on New Years resolutions, but I did set some goals for myself this year. I really like that your goals are measurable and not scale related. You are focusing on healthy behaviors which will mean so much more than what the scale states. Keeping your focus on these will give you an awesome year.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 Last Page