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Consistency: 55lbs down, 37 to go.

Sunday, October 28, 2012



So consistency is totally the key to me losing 55 pounds, and it will be the tool I continue to use to lose 37 more. I have been on Spark daily now for just over 7 months! That is the longest I have to stuck with any diet or lifestyle plan. 55 pounds is the most I've EVER lost during any weight loss attempt. 217 is the lowest weight I've seen in at least 5 years! emoticon I have bad days, I have noticed a trend of me having about 6 bad days a month. 6 sounds like a lot, it's almost a week, but it's amazing how if we hang in there and emoticon , we can just keep on going.

I am sort of tweaking some things right now, only just a bit. I now have a fitness goal of working out 5 days for sure, 6 if I'm up to it. I used to push myself so hard to meet these calories burned goals that were making me miserable. Why would I want to be miserable?

So the revamped plan is to burn 1320 calories per week. That number works out great for me.

My goals are now set to lose 1.4 pounds a week which has me at a max calorie range of 1720. Now that is some calories I can work with! I don't find myself eating extra just "because I can", but on those hungrier days I am happy to use them up.

With the Holidays coming and a vacation to my Grandma's house for 6 days out of my beautiful 24 day vacation (I can't freakin' wait you guys LOL emoticon), there is going to be some buffet eating (she lives in Vegas baby). There is going to be some indulging, but at the end of the day consistency is what matters. What we do the majority of the time is what can get us to where we want to go, or stop us dead in our tracks. It took me so long to learn this, but now that I did I'm holding on tight!

Consistency took me from 272ISH:


To 217 (photo shows 227 but close enough, new pictures at 60lbs down for sure):


^217

And I know it'll take me right down the road to Onederland!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBSZOO74 11/7/2012 9:18PM

    You are doing GREAT, Stephanie! emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 11/6/2012 9:13PM

    Boom! You got this thing in the bag!

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JECKIE 11/5/2012 8:19AM

    emoticon

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MUTANTQUEEN 10/31/2012 6:22PM

    Perfect! Doesn't it feel great to start to put the pieces together? Congratulations on your success!

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HEATHERFREE 10/30/2012 11:27PM

    LOVE IT!!! yes consistency is key.......if only I could consistently do the good things! lol I'm still going just very slowly, but I'm okay with that, because that number on the scale is still going down. I ahhh! just can't believe you are this close to onederland!!!! and NEVER goin back to the twos EVER!!! I can't wait til i get there!

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5KGRANNY 10/29/2012 6:16PM

    Good job Stephanie!! Only go through the buffet once---they can be killers. Have a great vacation.

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PRINCESSAMY 10/29/2012 3:34PM

    emoticon

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KAESEA78 10/29/2012 5:34AM

    Hey lady-this is awesome. You are also a very consistent spark friend and I truly need and appreciate that!!! You are so close to onederland and I am so proud of you! Thank you for always being there for us to lean on or to use you as a sounding board. I hope you enjoy your vaca!!!

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JESSICA_STULTZ 10/29/2012 2:02AM

    I always love the comparison pictures. So nice to be able to be able to recognize the changes that way. I look in the mirror and don't see significant changes in my stomach region.. but when I look at pictures and compare it is a big difference. Congrats on making it as far as you have, staying consistent, and making it past the rough parts in your journey. So glad to see you have not given up, even when you know you've had rough days. PS. I'm not sure there is one of us on this site that doesn't have a bad day every now and then. Just gotta keep pushing on and do what you do best, kick that weigh to the curb! (Which you have clearly been doing quite well!) 55 is a big number! You will hit that 37 more in no time.. and I will still be right here cheering you on!
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WEBEZE 10/28/2012 10:39PM

    emoticon Your are doing great. I don't worry so much any more about the day here or there that spikes. Looking at my weekly average gives me a better picture of how I am doing. Keep staying consistent and you will see onederland soon.
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EATVEGAN 10/28/2012 10:29PM

    With your attitude Onederland won't be far away. SP does a good job with their calorie in and out goals, but when it comes down to it, we each have to tweak things to fit us. You are so wise to be comfortable with that. Fifty-five lbs. Wow!! emoticon emoticon

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SRITHI97 10/28/2012 9:31PM

    You are doing Great!

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RALWINE 10/28/2012 9:04PM

    So proud of you!!! Can't wait to join you in Onederland, too. I will have to learn about this....Consistency...lol I don't do too badly, actually, but like you, I have my hungrier days. I usually have a couple and then I get back on track. When I look back, they weren't nearly as dramatic as they seemed at the time, either.

Keep Sparkling! Oh, and tell all about Adam Levine!

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LRSILVER 10/28/2012 5:31PM

    emoticon job.. emoticon you are doing emoticon
emoticon . emoticon

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TIMELAG 10/28/2012 3:22PM

    emoticon

Consistency is key!

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THESHELBSTER 10/28/2012 3:18PM

    Love this. You are amazing. So proud of you and love you lots.

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GEMINIGEM6 10/28/2012 3:11PM

    Girl you got this thing down to a science with the numbers! You are def going to reach your goal. I have no doubt about it! And look how great you look! What a difference! I can't wait to post pics like that myself again. Sigh. Lol. And you're right, it is def consistency that leads to the breakthrough!

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BKWERM 10/28/2012 2:12PM

    Congratulations! You are doing emoticon

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SHRINK_U 10/28/2012 12:31PM

    You are definitely on the road to ONEderland! woohoo!!!! You have done an amazing job with consistency. Look what you have done in 7 months... how exciting it is to think where you will be a year from now. Yay!!

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LUV4CHOCOLATE 10/28/2012 12:29PM

    Keep going, you are doing GREAT!

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SONIA260 10/28/2012 11:55AM

    awesome stuff!!!!!

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FITMAY 10/28/2012 11:50AM

    Totally emoticonjust emoticon you can reach your ultimate goal!
May

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FATTOFIT56 10/28/2012 11:30AM

    emoticon
I am glad I read your blog. ts so motivational. emoticon on your weight los

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GLASSART43 10/28/2012 9:59AM

    Keep up the good work!
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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 10/28/2012 9:57AM

    You are so right. Consistency is key. Congrats!

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_KATHY_ 10/28/2012 9:37AM

    That's where it's at. Living your life and having fun and being consistent with what you eat and your exercise. Great job!

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CANES4EVER63 10/28/2012 8:44AM

    WOO! Keep up the amazing work!!

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TACONES 10/28/2012 8:21AM

    Great job. emoticon

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WELLNESSME09 10/28/2012 7:24AM

    You did it! good for you!
You are a great inpiration!! emoticon

Keep up the good work! emoticon

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KITT52 10/28/2012 7:08AM

    great job...just keep pushing for the best...you deserve it....
this is a long and winding road but you can do it.....it will make such a change in your life....

I have been with Spark People over 6 year, lost 200+ pounds and have kept it off for nearly 3 years now....

and your right I did it by being consistent, not perfect but consistent....


Have a healthy week

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CHICAT63 10/28/2012 6:53AM

    Woohoo you are doing awesome, because you are !!!!! emoticon For me planning is the key.

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AELI2468 10/28/2012 6:47AM

    That is amazing progress in 7 months. You should be so proud of yourself!
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MARI-SERV 10/28/2012 5:57AM

    I am impressed !! Excellent job emoticon

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RIDLEYRIDER 10/28/2012 5:51AM

  Keep up the great work!!! emoticon

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GRACEMCC45 10/28/2012 5:32AM

    Whoop whoop! Look at ya go!

I love your attitude here - You are doing amazing girl!!!

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TCANNO 10/28/2012 5:22AM

    Well done
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CARPENTERGAL 10/28/2012 5:20AM

    Way to go awesome job on staying consistent... it really does seem so hard at times. I am working on that right now though I havent been tooo horrible LOL. Your going to hit that magical world of Oneder land soon i know you will... keep up the great work YOU CAN DO IT!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLC MidRound Challenge/2 lbs a week is hard LOL.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I am 6 weeks into the BLC 20, and the challenge is to look at what we've done so far and see how we are going to do things moving forward. I started the challenge at 227 and as of Wednesdays weigh in I am 217.4. My goal for this challenge was to lose 18 pounds during the 12 weeks. So I am still on target to reach my goal.

However this Wednesday I had decided that I would push super hard and go for 2 pounds this week. Well that's how this is going:



So we all know that 2 pounds a week means 1000 calorie deficit per day, sounds easy enough, right? WRONG. So my range was maxed out at 1550 and I tried to up my calories burned to 2800, which for me is quite a bit more than usual. Plus I added calorie cycling in the mix because I was going to dinner Friday and would need the extra calories. In theory this was a great plan.

Reality was that instead of the allotted 2000 I had for Friday, I went on an eating spree ending the day at 2900. I'm ending Saturday at 1850. But I was telling myself I needed to eat around 1200 for the next 3 days to "make up" for that horrible day. That was also a FAIL! As you can see, my 1850 was nowhere near 1200 and I have done this in the past. It leads me into a restrict/binge/restrict/binge cycle. Obviously, that is no good!

So my plan for the next 6 weeks of BLC (and beyond) is to have my calorie range set for 1.5 pounds a week. I have been losing between 1.2 and 1.5 pounds a week anyways, and I am pleased with the progress. As long as I am headed towards Onederland, then I am happy. This journey is all about trial and error and most importantly learning from our mistakes. So just like I am the first to toot my own horn after something good, I also want to the first to step up and say "something is not right here". So I'm just going to keep on pushing, right into Onederland. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 10/28/2012 3:21PM

    You will be in ONEderland in no time! Keep rocking girl! you are doing awesome in the BLC-20 challenge.

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EATVEGAN 10/26/2012 11:55PM

    It's so tempting when we aren't losing quite as fast as we'd like to mess with the program that has been successful for us. I've always been a good dieter, so I was tempted to eat less and lose faster. Thankfully, I realized that that was a good way to fail by becoming hungry and feeling deprived. This is eating for a lifetime, so there is no hurry. It's not like we get to go back to old habits when we reach goal. So I figure, relax and enjoy all the NSVs along the way. They are coming faster and faster.

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MYHUBBYISMYHERO 10/25/2012 3:42PM

    Stephanie,
Keep your goals in mind and stop beating yourself up. You can do this.
Sharon

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DAOCCHICA 10/24/2012 12:27AM

    Awesome way to look at things! I have been doing horrible during this blc.. except for the first week (kinda like the real biggest loser show lol). Sounds like you are really working hard to reach your goals though, and I think trial and error is the best way anyways! At leas you are tracking calories.. I am not .. although I am being very mindful about what I eat and portion sizes, etc. You are doing awesome!!! Keep at it!!

btw love the kitty fail/facepalm pics lol

Comment edited on: 10/24/2012 12:28:28 AM

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GEMINIGEM6 10/23/2012 10:31PM

    I am just so proud of you! Your attitude is so great!!! I need a lil of that for myself. And OMG I love the kitty facepalm! Lmao! You are on your way and you are going to be in Onederland before you know it!

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IMSOOZEEQ 10/23/2012 2:55AM

    Love love love the pics! Face palm! lol priceless! You are doing so well and I know I don't have to go into a long drawn out comment here as we have been discussing this in detail already. I am so proud of you and I am glad that you are pushing forward toward Onederland! I have the confetti ready to go!!!

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PRINCESSAMY 10/22/2012 2:34PM

    emoticon That is all you can do!!!

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WEBEZE 10/21/2012 10:48PM

    Learning from out bumps in the road makes us stronger. I have been averaging 1 pound a week. Been stuck the last 2 weeks with only 1/2 pound per week, but as I have learned along the way I will have weeks where I hit 2 pounds and then it ends up averaging out to my steady pace of 1 per week.
Slow and steady will keep us heading in the right direction.
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LAHUDSONCHEF 10/21/2012 9:26PM

    Good job on not succumbing to old patterns! emoticon

I couldn't push myself to the 2lbs/week level, either. Just not happening with this body! But, 1-1.5lbs/week is working very well, and it's a rate I'm really happy with.

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EMMAEKAY 10/21/2012 2:21PM

    Great job recognizing that unhealthy cycle! You're doing awesome - keep going!

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JECKIE 10/21/2012 2:12PM

    SO proud of you! I think the key to this whole weight loss chaos is to recognize what works FOR YOU and adjust accordingly. You're rocking this challenge, making the adjustments needed, and continuing to be successful. I love it!

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GRACEMCC45 10/21/2012 1:34PM

    It's all about the learning curve. Better to find a middle range that is going to work for you than to get into the restrict/binge cycle.

Keep up the great work!

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LRSILVER 10/21/2012 9:57AM

    Good for you. 1 1/2 pounds is a more reasonable goal. Keep up the great work!!


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BETHIEBOOPS 10/21/2012 9:09AM

    Way to listen to your needs! What works for one person, won't for another and it's really awesome that you figured it out so fast. You go girl!

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SONIA260 10/21/2012 8:26AM

    you are sooooo freaking close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it awesome just knowing that you are totally committed, cause you didn't throw in the towel!!!! Trial and error is soooo important, and seems you have it down!!!

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Sometimes you have to stop & say, "I'M AWESOME!"

Friday, October 19, 2012

This is totally just a tooting my own horn kind of blog, so if that's not your thing, turn away now! emoticon

My weekly weigh in is on Wednesdays because I'm part of BLC 20. I weighed in twice at 217.4 which I thought was great. Later on, even though I hadn't had any food or anything, I was 218. I was a little miffed and didn't really trust my scale at that point. But I had already recorded everything, and I thought no normal person would have gotten on it a 3rd time 30 minutes later, so I moved on.

This morning it told me 216! I got on again, 216. Then tried two more times, 216.2, okay what's the deal. My batteries shouldn't be old, and my scale is fairly accurate for the most part. It never changes numbers like that. When I went to the doctor in September my scale was within like 2 pounds of the doctors scale, then add on for the extra clothes.

So for piece of mind, I went into Target, and yes, I'm a rebel, but I snuck in a weigh in on a scale. The thing is if my scale was "that far off", I was going to go ahead and buy a new one. I weighed myself at home, fully clothed and after dinner 218.8 at home and 219 at Target. Close enough for me!

Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that we are awesome, and not "downplay" success because of a faulty scale or batteries or this or that. emoticon I am literally just SO excited. Oh, and don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware it is probably a fluctuation, and I ONLY record my official weight on Wednesdays for weigh in. But just to see that the scale has the potential to keep moving down is a victory to me. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 10/28/2012 3:51PM

    Yep. You ARE awesome!

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GEMINIGEM6 10/23/2012 10:29PM

    That ROCKS! Yay!! Congrats! And yes you are AWESOME!

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PRINCESSAMY 10/22/2012 2:50PM

    emoticon

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SHRINK_U 10/21/2012 12:30PM

    You sure are awesome! No doubt about it :) You are!

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HEATHERFREE 10/20/2012 7:52PM

    You are doing so awesome!!! It WAS for realsies this time!!!! I am fallin behind again, just got my wisdom teeth out, had to have em surgically done, and ohhh my does it hurt! You rule! I'm still working on getting vlogs going again.....someday soon i hope!

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TEENY_BIKINI 10/20/2012 12:30PM

    Heck yeah!! You are AWESOME! Toot that horn, rock star!

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EATVEGAN 10/20/2012 12:54AM

    Love your victory pic! You rock, Miss Awesome. Happy for you that the scale is moving. Hate it when it gets stuck.

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AMCLELLAN 10/19/2012 12:54PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ADARKARA 10/19/2012 10:00AM

    emoticon You ARE awesome!!!

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MAHGRET 10/19/2012 10:00AM

    I'm awesome too.
(that was hard for me, but thanks for the inspiration!)

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ANDREAG89 10/19/2012 9:47AM

    Oh sister, I am RIGHT THERE with you!!!! It's like you have to do a double-take when the number is lower than you expect. Then you step off the scale, do a happy dance. Step back on the scale, calculate how much you lost from the week before, and do another happy dance. Then you think "So what I'll do TOMORROW is..." so you can continue. It just really jazzes you up, doesn't it?!?!

And yes, you ARE emoticon !!!

Comment edited on: 10/19/2012 9:47:46 AM

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PUNKY100 10/19/2012 9:29AM

    Yes you are!!!! Just believe it and accept it, because it's reflecting all of your hard work!!! :-D

I always weigh myself 2-3 times in a row on Thursday mornings because I want to make sure I'm not straddling it across 2 different bathroom tiles (it actually affects it in my parents' bathroom) but I always log it, whether it's up or down. I figure it will always figure itself out, but if it goes REALLY wacky, that's when I change the batteries (I'm talking like 5-10 lbs).

Just believe you are awesome!!! :-D emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SONIA260 10/19/2012 9:22AM

    hahaha....love it! And yes, you are awesome!

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LRSILVER 10/19/2012 6:17AM

    You are amazing. Keep it up!

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CHICAT63 10/19/2012 5:06AM

    Oh yeah love this !!!! and the pic *lol* emoticon

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BETHIEBOOPS 10/19/2012 3:57AM

    You ARE amazing! GO YOU! I've had similar experiences on my Saturday weigh day, and they weren't fluctuation. Losing weight isn't an exact science- it doesn't all appear on the scale at the same time- so TOOT away!! Proud of you!

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GRACEMCC45 10/19/2012 3:47AM

    Yeah yeah!! Owned it!

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KAESEA78 10/19/2012 3:08AM

    I only tell you are awesome because you are!!!

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JESSICA_STULTZ 10/19/2012 2:00AM

    One thing I consider is if I move my scale at all or even the way we are standing on the scale each time we step on may set it off by a few ounces. Either way.. Any weight loss is better than none or a gain! Go you! I am with you on specific weigh in days.. Believe me.. I'd love to change my weight today.. but then Sunday is my weigh in and I'd be discouraged if I changed it midweek and then it went up or something. Well maybe not discouraged.. but it still sucks when you don't see it going down. Sundays only is when I track.. I weigh in first thing in the morning after I pee, before I've eaten/drank anything, and just in my underwear.. Maybe too much info but I figure that by doing it that way.. I don't ever have any variables like 'Well these clothes are heavier/I ate this/I drank that to have to consider." So glad to see you are doing so well and getting well past that dreaded 40 pound mark that we both had issues with. In that alone we should be proud!
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WEBEZE 10/19/2012 1:40AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUSIESHINES 10/19/2012 1:06AM

    You are emoticon !

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Are YOU Going To Make This Time Different? I Sure Am...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I'm going to take a guess that most of us on here have had quite a few weight loss attempts in the past, and in the long run those attempts have failed. What are you doing to make this time different?

I was just checking out this chart that Spark offers on it's report, and it's quite depressing.


October of 2010 I weighed in at 264 pounds, and as the chart shows I struggled. I got down to around 247 there for a minute. Then where it dips down really low is when I had a broken leg and I wasn't eating very much. I got down to 228, in July of 2011, woohoo! But then you can see the increase after that. Once I was "better" and was able to stuff myself full of fast food, that is exactly what I did. Watching that cute little chart climb back up to even new highs is just so heart breaking. All the way up to 262 in March of this year, and then I started my steady decline and that is the way I plan to keep this chart moving.

This time is different for me because:
emoticon: I am not on a PLAN. I am eating whatever I want and tracking everything. This behavior will continue to some extent forever. May I get to a point where I can start to "eyeball" 1/2 a cup of something accurately, maybe I will. But there will always be some form of tracking and monitoring my intake. For now that includes precise measurements.

emoticon: I will not slip back into my everyday fast food habit. It is now a rare treat, but not a way of life.

emoticon: I realize I have to exercise forever, not until. I used to think "I can't wait to get to XXX weight so that I can stop exercising." How silly is that. Now I tell myself "I can't wait to lose XX more pounds because my exercises will become easier.

emoticon: I no longer let one bad day, or even a bad week derail me. Luckily I haven't had a bad WEEK while starting this in March, but that may very well happen. But I now realize that one week of poor choices do not undo months of hard work.

emoticon: This is the first time I can SEE myself reaching Onederland, and going on to goal. This is the first time the plan I am using to lose weight will be the same as my maintenance plan. MAINTENANCE?! I never once thought about that on any previous attempt, this time is different.

emoticon: I have successful and amazing Spark friends who not only support me, but dazzle me with THEIR successes. It really keeps me motivated to keep on trucking.

So that is why this time is different for me. I am not going to eat better and exercise "until" I get to goal, this is the way of life and something I am learning to embrace. Sometimes I embrace it kicking and screaming, but 9 times out of 10, I get the job done. In fact, I'm currently not feeling emoticon's and emoticon's about this whole thing, which is the reason for this blog. A friendly reminder to myself if you will. emoticon

If you are up to it, I'd love to hear why this time is different for YOU! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTJULZ 10/19/2012 12:18AM

    Congratulations on getting that chart moving steadily in the right direction. You will succeed!

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IMSOOZEEQ 10/18/2012 11:42PM

    You are such a star! I needed to read this today. I have been struggling with my attitude about my journey and I was almost at the point of saying meh, who cares any more. I have kept up with the streak (kicking and screaming) and I have been eating okay but I just don't feel the motivation. Thank you for this blog because it has given me some things to remember and think about.

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PRINCESSAMY 10/16/2012 2:22PM

    emoticon

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KIBAISREADY 10/14/2012 9:57PM

    WHAT AN AWESOME BLOG! LOVE THE ATTITUDE IT ONE OF THE KEY ELEMENTS IN THIS JOURNEY. REALIZING THAT ONE WILL HAVE TO DO THIS FOR OUR LIFETIME IS KEY. KEEPING IT MOVING GIRL AND WISHING YOU CONTINUED SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.

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HDHAWK 10/14/2012 9:53PM

    Your chart is moving in the right direction! Way to go!

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TEENY_BIKINI 10/14/2012 9:28PM

    Oh, I just love it when you're feisty. Go get 'em, Tiger.

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GEMINIGEM6 10/14/2012 8:45PM

    Hey Stephanie! I love this! Your attitude is SO great....even though I know you don't feel that way all the time. None of us do! For me the reason why this time is different is is b/c of my health. It's not just about looking cute or for men or for any reason like that. It's b/c I really see how big of a role eating well and exercise play into your health. Even if a person is not overweight it plays a part. But for those of us who have struggled with extra weight, we make the issue worse than it has to be. It sucks. I can't explain why some ppl eat like crap and don't exercise and remain slim and some overweight ppl eat horribly and never have major health issues, but I am one who does have health issues. So that is my answer. I want to live....and I want to live longer. :)

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HEATHERFREE 10/13/2012 10:21PM

    Great blog! This time is different for me, because I have NEVER stuck to TRYING for this long, I have had bad weeks...heck even bad months this go around but I have never stopped trying and knowing that I am continuing this journey. It will be a year in December and Ive gone up and down but I have still kept my goal in sight and I have never done that before. I don't care how long it take or how slow the pounds come off I'm GOING to be thinner every year until I hit my last goal!

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AMARILYNH 10/13/2012 4:01PM

    Wow - I sure wish I'd joined SP back in 2008 when I just started losing! The graph is awesome, as is your attitude!!

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TIMELAG 10/13/2012 11:46AM

    Amen, sister!! You have it exactly right! I am so with you. You spoke everything that is going on in my mind right now as well. We will do this! See ya on the Sheriffs chat!

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IRONBLOSSOM 10/12/2012 12:59PM

    Very inspiring! I'm glad you've got your chart moving in the right direction!

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/12/2012 10:28AM

    You have so many valuable and insightful ideas and plans here. It really helped me and my motivation to read what you are saying. emoticon emoticon

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AMCLELLAN 10/12/2012 8:15AM

    emoticon Amazing Blog!!

This time is different for me because I have my reason right in front of me. My son! I know I need to do this for him. Not some future I am imagining, but the future I am creating.

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LRSILVER 10/12/2012 6:49AM

    You have the right mindset, and I know you will succeed!
Keep it up.


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WEBEZE 10/12/2012 2:07AM

    Love your Blog. Your mind set has changed, so this time will be different.

For me this time is different because I am not eating foods I don't like just to lose weight. Healthy choices are for foods I enjoy and can eat for a life time. I still can eat out and enjoy life by just being more careful of my choices and watching my portion sizes. I love to bake and still enjoy the treats guilt free because I know I am going to track everything and at the end of the week it will all balance out because of the healthy choices I have made that allow me a little extra once in awhile.

This time is also different because I am not starving myself to lose weight. Lower calories and more exercise only gets you so far. I would always drop my calories too low and it wouldn't matter if I ran around the planet I couldn't lose. My body was saying feed me or I won't let go of anything. So now I eat more and the weight is just dropping off.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JACOBSBELOVED 10/12/2012 12:44AM

    I am so freakin' proud of you, girl!!!

I can't tell you how many times we have said this but THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT!

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LAHUDSONCHEF 10/12/2012 12:39AM

    You said it, "I am not on a PLAN. I am eating whatever I want and tracking everything. This behavior will continue to some extent forever. " My FB cover image says, "It's not a Diet, It's not a Phase, It's a permanent Lifestyle Change."

That's why this time is different. I'm purposely putting myself in situations to have to deal with all types of foods, and stretching myself to make wise choices when faced with options that wouldn't be on anyone's "weight loss plan". But, that's life, and I am training myself to take on LIFE, so that I can live, be social (instead of the inherent anti-social-ness of dieting), and still be healthy. It's new habits, a new "relationship to food", a new outlook, and a new drive. I really don't want to go down the diabetic, high blood pressure, hypothyroid route of many in my family. Hopefully, I am changing in time to derail those tendencies.

And now, back to my glass of Chardonnay... emoticon

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DUMBBELLE84 10/12/2012 12:13AM

    You just wait, missy. My version of this blog will come in 9 pounds... I've already been thinking about it. ;)

Isn't it nice to just know that you'll be successful?! With every day that you wake up renewing your commitment to yourself, with every healthy choice you make, every time you exercise... you know this is your new life, and you're loving it!

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My Mental Health Day

Sunday, October 07, 2012

So first I gotta address the hypocrite status, because I'm fully aware that a little over a week ago I said I was stepping back from the blogs. So anyone that wants to throw rotten tomatoes, the floor is yours. emoticon emoticon

This is just for my select handful of Spark Friends that have asked how I was doing and stuff... and it makes me warm and fuzzy that you guys care about how I am doing.



So yesterday was just a terrible terrible day. I know the point of this blog was to share things with my Spark buddies, but to be honest there are some things I just have no desire to discuss. So let's just say it was a rough day, and I was at work. I am also on my TOM and the cramps are horrible. I am now starting birth control in hopes that it is going to help my cramps and all things associated with that girlie time. So fingers crossed for that one.

I had the HUGEST frozen yogurt from Yogurtland yesterday that was essentially my dinner. Bad, bad Stephanie. The worst part was, I didn't even care! Nope. Not one bit. I had oreos, reese's, cheesecake bites on top of it. I didn't track it and I didn't care. It scared me a little but I couldn't be bothered.

I am having some issues with the boy, they are not huge issues and we actually were just texting and things seem to be okay, but let's just say I am definitely going to walk around with my heart a lot more guarded in terms of this boy. I still can not 100% say what his intentions and stuff are, so that is a process. So that was bothering me in addition to the super personal stuff that I am not comfortable sharing. I'm not trying to be a tease by mentioning that again, I just want people to know that it's not like one tiny problem I'm blowing out of proportion. I've got some crap going on for sure LOL.

So I fully intended to stay in my pj's all day today, which NSV time. I found a fuzzy pair of jammie pants that I couldn't wear for a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile, they are just an extra large. Of course they stretch like crazy, but THEY FIT. With my "bottom stomach" and "butt" being the largest part around, I can very easily need 1x or 2x stretchy things to get them to fit. So I am happy about that, they are so comfy!

I am going to watch some movies and I'm not going to lie, I'm going to have a good cry. I cried myself to sleep this morning (don't be alarmed) and it helped, so if I have to let any more out I will.

But here's the bad part. I fully woke up today thinking I was going to binge. In fact, I was going to binge and I didn't care about it. I wanted to drive to the one place, get a grilled cheese, patty melt, and chili cheese fries. I was going to eat the grilled cheese and half the fries for lunch and the rest for dinner.

I would love to sit here and tell you all that I woke up this morning and said to myself, "Stephanie, you are better than that! You are not going to harm your body, you are going to do what's right and you are going to fight for this weight loss you want so badly!" That did not happen. I was already thinking about what my order would be, but then I decided to peek ever so slightly at the scale. I saw....

218.6!!! I was 220.2 just last Wednesday. Could it be a fluctuation? Probably. Could that mean by this weigh in Wednesday that I'm back to 220.2, it could happen. But that made me not want to binge. Any port in a storm as my Gammie always says. So instead I am going to make a patty melt at home, and track all my calories.

I have an exercise streak with my girl Susan... 30 minutes of exercise a day and I think today will be day 16. I don't know if I can do it. I really don't, I am really struggling today, but we will see what happens.

So that is what is going on with me... I know that doesn't go into the juicy tidbits, but I just can't do it right now, but I heart everyone who has reached out to me and checked on me and you all keep me going even when I don't really want to. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 10/16/2012 2:48PM

    Everyone has days like that. I would like something is wrong if you didn't.

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HEATHERFREE 10/10/2012 11:00PM

    VERY awesome, I don't know what all is happening with you since you wont give it up! But as far as the weightloss you are doing so flipping amazing!!! and really I'm not lieing when I say your journey and your progress is sometimes the ONLY reason I
ve kept hanging on. Zeldabee and Kassie too but sometimes your it kid! lol I think its because we both have similar things going on, we arent married no kids and have similar meal plans. well anywho your doing good, and for TOM nuva ring birth control is AMAZING for reducing the crazy moods and best of all cramps, I just havent had the money to keep on it. But believe me the last few Toms have made me want to get back on it.

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JESSICA_STULTZ 10/9/2012 9:29AM

    Glad you decided to stay home and track. Sometimes it's the little things that make big differences. I am sure you saved calories AND money by not going out to eat. I hope you can turn today around and make it a better one. We don't blame you for not wanting to share everything. It happens to us all. Haha. I wish there was a way to magically break the habit of emotional eating.. or even eating extra or for no reason. It would make this weight loss journey so much easier. Doesn't it feel good to almost be to One-derland? I am so excited to reach that. Made it hard to swallow that I was up 2 pounds this week. Ugh. Why are there so many delicious foods?? Anyways.. I just thought I'd let you know that you got this! You can make it past this obstacle just as you have made it past all the obstacles this far. One thing I've been told is that the struggles are what makes the accomplishment so great. Once you hit your goals you can look back and say "Look at all the crap I went through and I STILL hit my goals." You are stronger than you know!

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GEMINIGEM6 10/8/2012 9:26PM

    I swear I can relate to this SO much. I too have things that are just TOO personal to share and peeps have no idea just how much I'm dealing with on a daily basis. I really try to take it a day at a time...sometimes a moment at a time. It's hard. I just cried today. All I can say is what my mom always tells me 'this too shall pass'. I know that may not help a lot but it helps me sometimes. I hope the girlie stuff gets straightened out as welll as I also go through THAT as well. I think you're my long lost sister. Lol. And I hope 'the boy' situation reveals itself soon enough. It's always best to take those things slowly and really get to know the person. I really have learned that lesson the hard way one too many times unfortunately. I'm here for you girl. Inbox me if you ever wanna talk! :) And thanks so much for the comment on my vid blog again. So sweet. :) emoticon

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GRACEMCC45 10/8/2012 9:26PM

    You are doing awesome, woo hoo!!!

And you can squeeze me anytime you like emoticon

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_MOBII_ 10/8/2012 8:13PM

    Sometimes its the little nudges that yell the loudest 'Look at me!'
So happy to see that you 'decided to peek at the scale' Congratulations on the 1.6 pounds!
And glad to see that your fuzzy jammies turned out to be a NSV as well!
emoticon

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BETHIEBOOPS 10/8/2012 10:22AM

    Look at those good choices you made! You are so awesome. And YAY for NSV! It won't be long until you're wearing a normal boring L or even M to bed! Can you imagine?!

I'm sorry to hear that things are tough right now. I totally get keeping certain things private- this is the internet afterall. But I really hope they pass quickly, and that your ship rights itself so you can keep plowing forward.

We're all on yourside! And just a private message away from a rant if you need :)

*hugs*

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MERRY_XMAS 10/8/2012 4:26AM

    It was nice to hear from you!
emoticon for making the right choices!!!

emoticon emoticon

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DUMBBELLE84 10/8/2012 1:29AM

    Hey, beautiful. Whatever is going on, just know that we support and care about you. So glad to hear that you're scale actually helped you today. Take care of yourself. Times get tough, but it'll pass. xoxo


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EATVEGAN 10/8/2012 1:19AM

    Congratulations, girl. You got past it and made some good choices. That sounds great in my book. I'm sorry you are going through distressing times. But even though we sometimes think we will feel better if we just EAT, when we've finished (and the food only lasts about 15 minutes) we are left with the regret to add to the distress we were already feeling. Don't beat yourself up about the yogurt. Instead congratulate yourself on the good steps you took today. emoticon

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IMSOOZEEQ 10/8/2012 12:07AM

    Okay so where do I start? I have to be honest that I feel bad that I wasn't around the last few days to be a support for you. Okay so the emoticon although the situation could have been different, I am glad you stepped on it and it stopped you from damaging all the hard work you have put in. Obviously, there is something going on to bring you to this place. I am sorry that you are having some issues. You know I am here! Okay so the last few days I haven't been but I was logging in and I sure would ALWAYS read your emails!

You had some great positives that you listed there and I really hope that you paid close attention to them. Getting into the pjs! emoticon Seeing 218.6 on the scale! emoticon Like can you see what I see? You are getting SO close to Onederland! It has to be like someone cooking in the kitchen and waking up to the smell of coffee or bacon. Okay sorry for the food reference but I know you know what I mean! It is SO SO SO close! Cooking your patty melt at home instead of going out, HUGE! That is emoticon You made the decision to track all your calories! That is another HUGE one! As are as the streak, I know you can do it. I have had a few days of just having to push and talk to myself the whole way through it. Now that being said, you know that I am NOT going to judge you if you have to begin again. I still emoticon ya! I will still be here to support you. You know I got you!

Hey girl, I know about the need for a mental health day. I am glad that you recognized the need for one and that you took it. Getting a hold of it now is better than trying to run after it as it snowballs. You are facing it now and that is great!!

Much love emoticon emoticon



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JACOBSBELOVED 10/7/2012 11:26PM

    I'm glad you blogged. I really think this helped you out a lot and you needed to put your problems out there, even if some of them were a bit vague. You know what was unspoken and I think it still helped to mention it, even if you didn't go into details. We have to keep some things to ourselves every now and then. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep some things private. :)

218?! Like you said, it may be a fluctuation but what if it wasn't?? We'll see on Wednesday. That got me really excited!!

We all go through difficult times when it comes to eating, especially if we know it has the possibility to make us feel better emotionally. I know this isn't the beginning of a downward spiral or anything, especially since you prevented youself from going out and getting something to eat. You made your patty melt at home, which is always going to be better for you than getting it at a restaurant. I'm glad you peeked at the scale, too, even if it wasn't a weigh-in day. I think it did a lot of good for you.

I hope whatever it is you're going through gets better soon. I don't want you to hurt. :(

Keep us updated with everything (if you can/want)!

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