Sunday, September 23, 2012
A challenge for the Biggest Loser Competition I'm in, so don't mind me. ;)
*Define The Number*
My goal weight is 180. There was a lot of thought into considering that goal, it wasn't a number I pulled out of the sky. I have not been under 200 pounds since before I was 18. So for me, a super tiny number didn't seem realistic, especially with my starting weight of 272. I felt and still feel that 180 is a place where I could be very happy and comfortable with my weight. I have recently thought about going to 170, but I figured I could decide when I get to my goal. I need a goal I can reach and feel like it is attainable. In the past I would make such lofty goals and I would never get there, but this time it isn't going to happen. The idea of hitting my goal and Onederland specifically will really make me feel like I have accomplished something great. To be able to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see will be huge for me.
For right now the short term goal is to get in a pair of size 18 jeans that I had purchased. I am currently in a size 20, down from a 24, and I just might be able to squeeze into those babies by the end of BLC 20.
Non scale Victories: I have had quiet a few, off the top of my head my ring that I am now able to wear after years of not being able to, fitting into clothes from 5 years ago that I couldn't fit into, going from a size 24 to a 20. Beating my fast food addiction, which was truly an addiction.
Friday, September 21, 2012
I have been on Spark off and on since 2009. I had to let go of a lot of success/failure, and the past is the past. So this journey that I am on started on March 20th of 2012. I started the journey at 262 pounds. Not my highest weight of 272, but pretty close to it. Since March 20th, I have gotten down to 222 (as of this morning, that isn't getting officially tracked until Wednesday though, so we will see what happens and I can celebrate a total of 50 pounds down for the first time ever). 40 pounds in 6 months I feel is a respectable amount. It isn't some mind blowing amount of weight for that time frame, but I am proud just the same. Slow and steady wins the race.
So this time is outstanding because...
I have NEVER gone more than 4 months without quitting. Currently 6 Months in, I have already blown that out of the water!
I have NEVER gotten to the 50 pound lost mark EVER. 40 pounds lost, 42 maybe even 44 pounds lost, but never the 50 mark. I should be celebrating that by next Wednesday.
I have NEVER truly believed that I would get to my goal weight in the past, but this time I KNOW I'm going to get there. I can picture myself at that weight, I feel like it is so close that I can almost touch it, despite it being about 42ish pounds away.
I have NEVER thought about how I was going to maintain in the past. This time, I am already thinking of what I will do to maintain and it's basically the same thing I am doing to lose the weight. This makes me happy.
NSV of the day:
Wearing the beautiful ring my mom got me at least 7 Christmases ago. It finally fits again and I'm a happy girl.
For the select lovely ladies requesting more info on my status about the boy... it is still too soon to tell. I don't want to get all gushy on here just to write back in a week that my heart was stomped on are anything, but here is the overview.
*I met this boy 4 years ago, we went on one date and never went out again. However we have kept in contact and have been chatting/texting buddies 4 years later.
*He has been trying to hang out with me for 2 years, but I just wouldn't go. It was nothing to do with him, it was strictly me and my self consciousness. With that said, I will explain to you all WHY that was, under one condition. I do not want any lecturing about this issue. I don't want to hear "self esteem and self confidence has to come from within you, and it has nothing to do with weight" or "if you don't love yourself, how can anyone else love you." Those comments will be deleted on the spot, and you will see why...
Here is what it was. He was once very overweight and he isn't anymore but he is very understanding of my weight "issue". When I met him 4 years ago, I was probably like 210ish. These last 2 years, when he was trying to hang out with me I was anywhere from 250-272. I mentioned to him I had gained a LOT of weight since he last saw me, and he said he didn't care. In fact, I know he didn't care, but I held myself back because I just felt so defeated and couldn't bare the thought of facing him at an even higher weight. I said I don't need the lecturing, because I have been working a LOT on my self confidence, self esteem and my life in general. I am a different person than I was the last 2 years and while it is still a work in progress, I am doing a lot better in all those areas. I am doing my best to understand that I am a pretty groovy chick, weight issues or not... but 2 years ago I was not able to separate weight from self worth. I still have my moments, but I have come leaps and bounds in separating those two things. So that was why I really don't need to hear it LOL.
That said, getting back down in the 220's, but MORE IMPORTANT than the number on the scale was me working on my self and my self confidence, I felt that I could see him and put my best foot forward.
So needless to say I hung out with him last Wednesday and Thursday and we had a lot of fun. I have not seen him this week and I'm a little bummed, but we each work 12 hour shifts, and on top of it we are currently exact opposites. I am working 5pm to 5am and he is working 430 am to 5pm. So it's definitely not ideal. I also have set days off and he doesn't and he works a lot of over time. We also don't live super close, we live maybe 35ish miles apart and if it's a time where there is traffic it can take a very long time to get over there. His job is very physically exhausting and he is not a good texter. He's just not and he hasn't been a very good texter in the past. But he is definitely making an effort and we aren't in contact everyday yet, but he is getting better.
I just don't want to get my hopes up, because it's a weird situation. It's hard because I feel like I've known him so long, and while it's partially true, it's still a very different situation because we only truly hung out that once many years ago, so it's still "new" in that regards.
Anyways, I am really opening up here and putting myself out there, and hopefully this won't have to be followed up with a blog where I get my heart clobbered. *Fingers crossed*
Friday, September 14, 2012
First off, I know I am BLC this, and BLC that. But this one if for points and I gotta do it and represent the Sassy Sheriff's.
I'm going to cross enemy lines to give a thank you and a shout out to my girl Susan from the Mighty Mocha Hunters. Her blog of goals blew me away. She taught me that goals need to be specific and something I can measure to show that I did or did not measure up. I can't simply say I'm going to eat LESS or exercise more, I need numbers, so thanks Susan for showing me how it's done!
Goals for 12 week BLC 20:
*Lose 18 pounds. That is fine and good, but how am I going to get there?
*By eating no more than 1550 calories each day. If weight loss stalls like it has in the past, I may try calorie cycling, but I am going to hope that it doesn't come to that. I have been in range eating 1650ish, and that has gradually been slipping to 1700. That is not okay. 1550, end of story.
*The Sheriff's roll with 360 fitness minutes a week. That threw me for a loop for a second, but it can VERY easily be done. So my goal is 360 minutes per week, no excuses.
Ideal breakdown of exercise minutes:
Sat, Sun, Mon = workdays. 45 minutes walking = 2 miles.
Mon,Wed,Fri = TNT - 20 minutes.
Tue = 30 minutes of cardio.
Wed, Th, Fri = 45 minutes cardio.
*Water! Water! Water!
This was a habit, a great habit that was like second nature to me for the last 4 months at least. I don't know what is up all of a sudden, but it's not happening as easily. So you know what that means, time to TRACK/MEASURE the water again. Yep, a little annoying but gotta do what I gotta do.
Over these 12 weeks, I want to, scratch that, I WILL push myself to the limits, for myself and for my team. I WILL get back to doing the things that got me to where I am, but with an extra KICK to it. This challenge is just what I needed, and I am happy to be a part of it. This challenge may very well be the tool that gets me SUPER close to Onederland, and that is something I am so excited about!
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