STEPH-KNEE   70,505
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My Last Blog Was One Giant Excuse...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Thanks to 3 lovely ladies for commenting on my last blog, I totally saw it for what it was. An excuse. I should not be allowed to blog when I am blah, tired, and cranky. ;) I talked about a deal I made with Gammie where if I felt like I wasn't "feeling" the whole weight loss thing, I would at the very least have to maintain the weight I had already lost. The good thing about that is I wouldn't be backsliding and have to relose the weight, but the very obvious bad part is delaying this process that is so important to me.

My deal thing was meant for much farther on in the process. If I got to 199 (which is a HUGE thing for me) and wanted to maintain that for a week or a month, I would be okay with it before pressing on. Or 190, or 180. But the real thing for me was my goal is 180, and while I may shoot for 170, the point was just to maintain it and find out if I indeed wanted to go any lower. That is what I meant for myself when I first thought this up. It was definitely not intended for me to lose 42 lbs, get in a funk and whip out this rule.

My amazing spark friends are what keep me going when I may not feel great. Right now it's a combination of being frustrated over my hurt finger and just being stressed in general. But this week will pass, and I will still force myself to go through the motions, and before I know it I will have my sparkle back and be glad I didn't waste a week of my journey maintaining when I have so far to go. So emoticon for all the love and support, it means a lot! :D

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 8/20/2012 8:28PM

    You are going to be rocking ONEderland before you know it. Keep your eyes on the prize and it is so gonna happen. I have complete and total faith in you. :0)

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JACOBSBELOVED 8/20/2012 7:32PM

    YAAAY! I'm glad you've decided to stick with it! Like I said in my comment on your last blog, I know we all get tired at some point in this process but how much stronger do we get when we push through? I wanted to be understanding but I also wanted you to stay strong.

We always talk about how much of this is in our heads, and it appears that it is still a challenge even after losing more than 40 lbs.

You have been such a big supporter to me (and apparently to so many other Sprklers!) and I would hate to see you start to slip. Your strength gives me strength. You know how often I've struggled with this and you have always been there to say, "Ok, well dust yourself off and let's go."

YOU CAN DO THIS! "Onederland" is so very, very close for you!

Not to mention I would love for you to keep losing weight so the food police at work keeps wondering what you're doing and how you're losing the weight. :)

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TRACY31502 8/20/2012 7:30PM

    Good for you!!! keep pushing on girl! I know it gets tough some times but YOU GOT THIS!!!!!

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KIMPY225 8/20/2012 12:51PM

    I know it is tough- keep going!

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SCARJOWANNABE 8/20/2012 11:31AM

    Just keep on Sparkin', we're all here for you and want you to succeed! You got this!

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ALICIALYNNE 8/20/2012 9:45AM

    Just saw your last blog, and am relieved that other Sparkers were available.
Even when you reach your goal weight and are maintaining that goal weight, you wont get to eat whatever you want. You will still have to track and weigh/measure yourself. Too many people hit their goal weights, think something like "ok, I've done it! I can loosen up now!" and end up gaining all (or more!) of it back.
Stay strong! You CAN and you WILL do this! For life!

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/20/2012 7:15AM

    I'm so proud of you! You are kicking serious behind and I am so proud that you are pushing forward.

Random thought, you know in physics we were taught about the Law of Motion: "Objects in motion stay in motion". Conversely, if we stop moving forward and stop it takes more force to get started again.


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LIBELULITA 8/20/2012 5:18AM

    I've only just seen this and your previous blog and I wanted to warn you about this "maintenence" mentality...even if it is meant for furthur on down the line. I am just learning the hard way. I had planned to "maintain" while on holiday in the UK , and what happens is that you keep pushing the boundies back and suddenly a "maintain day" turns into "I'll have one more maintain day then get back to losing tomorrow".....and suddenly (in my case) 7 weeks have gone by and you've gained back lots of pounds (35 pounds in my case).

I was reminded that eating healthily is not something we do until we reach our's for the rest of our lives which means allowing ourselves "maintenence days" where inevitably we eat junk is not what it's about.

I'm not saying this is what would happen to you, I'm just saying "be careful" with this mentality.I'm suffering the consequences of it at the moment emoticon emoticon

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JESSICA_STULTZ 8/20/2012 12:52AM

    I went back and read your last blog as well since I must have missed it. Just got home from a busy day at the zoo. Glad to see you realized that you want to push on. This is why it is so important to be a Sparker! It can be easy to want to give up or let things slide.. but with the support of others (even ones you have never met) helps us to keep our goals and dreams in sight. It can be so easy to let things slide. I know you can AND WILL do this.. and one day you will look back and be proud that you had the perseverance to make it through. Whatever you do, don't give up. You definitely look good for 40 pounds down.. Think about how it makes you feel on the inside.. and how much happier and healthier you will be when you hit your goal. Plus it gives you the upside of showing your co-workers how kick butt you are!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMSOOZEEQ 8/19/2012 9:58PM

    I went back and read the other 2 comments on your other blog. I was in tears. Stephanie, we all care and what we are saying is from our hearts. Girl, you have been there for me on so many occasions. You may not have known just how much but let me tell you that your comments on my page and my blogs have helped keep me motivated. You tell me how much I motivate you or inspire you but you do the same for me. Take a look at that profile picture of yours!!! REALLY look at it! Umm are you looking at it??? That should give you a shove every day to keep pushing toward your goal no matter what it is.

How could I not care about someone who hates feet like me? lol I am always here for you Stephanie! I hope you know that. I want you to succeed just as much as I want to succeed!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CORTNEY-LEE 8/19/2012 9:32PM

    199 is just around the corner!


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Hurt Thumb, Blah Days & Deal I Made...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

So Thursday night I cut my thumb by...well... being an idiot. I have this tall vase that is about 3 feet. I bought some pebbles and potpourri to fill it with. I didn't put too many pebbles and I did it very carefully. As I was filling it with potpourri, the bottom broke out from under it. That would have been fine except I couldn't leave well enough alone. Add on the fact that I'm already pretty clumsy and this is clearly a recipe for disaster. I wanted to see if the bottom could still fit back together, and in case you were wondering it can. I thought I was holding it tight enough and when I went to turn it over it slipped and I now have a huge gash in my right thumb. Over an inch long and pretty deep. I didn't go to get stitches and my mom agreed it should heal on its own. I am not looking forward to yet another scar, mainly because it'll remind me of my stupidity LOL. Doh.

Before that on Thursday, I had a great day out with my friends. Grilled cheese and fries for dinner and later an ice cream sundae from Denny's. It was a planned in advance treat day, and I still managed about 1800 calories, maybe closer to 1900 because I had to guess on the grilled cheese. But I have just been feeling blah. I have no valid reasons for it. I think the thumb thing triggered some sort of stress or pitty response from me, and I wanted to go and eat even more crap Thursday night but I made myself go to bed instead. That was a small victory. I ate well yesterday and today but still the blahs continue.

So this deal I made with my Gammie, and I basically thought it up and she is holding me to it... is that whenever I feel blah and I feel like you know what, I don't want to work at this weight loss stuff RIGHT NOW, I am not in the mood... that whatever weight I am at at that very moment, I will have to at least work to maintain. So if I decide this week I'm just not doing this, that means I need to maintain my 230lbs that I am right now. I checked a maintenance calculator and that puts me at about 2282. The funny part is I saw that number and I thought "well I don't want to eat THAT much". LOL.

I fully intend to push past the blahs, and just keep moving forward, but it's good to know that if I decide to take a "vacation" from weight loss, that it's not a free pass to go around gorging myself and eating whatever I want. I will still have to track all of my food and work at maintaining my current weight. The best part is, if this happens I know it won't be more than a week, because I will have to be doing the parts that I don't always like (tracking and not eating EVERYTHING), so I know it'll quickly make me want to be back on to the losing side of this journey. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 8/20/2012 8:27PM

    From my own personal experience, even when I am trying to lose weight, I still have so many slips. So if I ever tried to just maintain my weight loss, and slipped I would worry that my slips were even greater. My advice to you is that if you have a bad day you just get back up on the horse again the next day but don't ever downgrade all your hardwork to simply "maintaining." Maintaining is not going to get you in that sexy Cinderella outfit. :D

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JACOBSBELOVED 8/20/2012 7:21PM

    Keep your eyes on the prize, Stephanie! You've mentioned before that once you lost 40 lbs, then you started slipping back into old habits. I hope this isn't the beginning of that happening again. I have conflicting emotions about you taking a one week break to just maintain your weight, but it's ultimately your decision (obviously). I would love to see you keep going strong but I know we all get tired at some point.

Hang in there, girl, and I can guarantee you that it will all be worth it.

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_MOBII_ 8/19/2012 10:12PM

    Don't give up! Push through it, you will be glad you did!


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BETHIEBOOPS 8/19/2012 12:51PM

    Wait, this sounds like the first signs of giving up. No. You are NOT giving up.

Stephanie, girl, you need to grab a hold of yourself, stop sulking, and get back up. You wanted to lose more than 40 pounds right? You will not do that by "maintaining" and then forgetting about it and moving on. Maintaining before reaching goal weight, when not for a life changing reason, is just giving yourself an excuse to not hit 50 pounds down.

And girl- you want that 50 pounds sticker. You want to slide into 16s. You want to run and chase without gasping for air. You won't get that by "maintaining".

Girlie, this isn't a "bandwagon" This isn't a "diet" This isn't something that you get to press pause on. This is a life change. You need to change your life, and you don't get a vacation from life changes.

I'm sorry to be rough on you, but we all care about you and want you to succeed. So, fine take today to feel sorry for yourself, and tomorrow, you need to get up, and move forward. Don't you dare give up girl. You've worked too hard to stop now.


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COURTNEY055 8/19/2012 8:11AM

    I agree with her. Keep on pushing yourself and don't quit. it's too easy to fall into those kinda ruts. It's even harder to get out of them the longer u stay in them especially if u decide to maintain for a week. When I feel like I don't wanna do it, I think hard about my health and WHY I'm here..I walk, I journal, I'll even go get a protein snack or something if I'm hungry (which can be a trigger for not wanting to do this). Try to keep your eye on the prize. You can do it. Keep on the losing side. And like the lady above me said, you're here and we're ALL rooting for you! If u ever need to vent or whatever, look me up if u want. I haven't been on all that long, but I'm firmly committed to this for the sake my health and well being. I just can't quit. I'm 37 and not getting any younger. Do this..You're fabulous and u can do this too!


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IMSOOZEEQ 8/19/2012 5:23AM

    Oh please please please stick with this side of the journey. If you let yourself fall back, it will only be time that you could have been moving forward. No it isn't an easy road but don't let those thoughts get the best of you! You can do it!!!

we are all here to help you! You don't have to do it alone.


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I'll Eat Easy Mac If I Want...(annoying coworkers rant)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

So anyone who knows me knows that I work with a supremely nasty group of women. I go to great lengths to hide what I eat from them because it is the only way to survive here. If they know, not only will they food police you ("can you have that?"), they will not only try to feed you, but then if you give in an eat a cookie they will laugh about it for a week.

I love my job, I don't love the people but I love my job and it is my career, and I won't let a bunch of weenies ruin that for me.

So my cover has KIND OF been blown, the one guy saw me on spark counting calories, so I was pretty much toast. But I made it a point to tell him I wasn't on a diet and I eat whatever I want (because it's true).

So there is one girl at work, let's just call her Miss America, and I can not stand her. In fact she makes fun of me because she thinks I'm weird, well I assure you I'm not weird, I actually act weird and quiet because I don't want these people to talk to me. I'm not an idiot. ;) This sums it up perfectly:


Anyways, I play up my "weirdness" so that people don't even say hi to me. Yes, I work in a place where it's not uncommon for people to not address each other, crazy huh? It's like the Twilight Zone.

Anyways, Miss America saw me eating Easy Mac and a Tyson chicken patty. I would never proclaim these foods to be healthy, don't get me wrong. But a "typical" work day for me consisted of TWO fast food meals during a 12 hours shift, Burger King on the way to work, and then whatever they ordered for dinner. So if easy mac and a chicken nugget (all tracked btw) keep me away from fast food, then I would say I'm doing pretty good. She gave me a look, but we don't speak so that was that. Or so I thought.

HOURS later I hear her talking to the guy that caught me tracking calories months back and she says "there's one cookie left". Mind you he is on super strict diet, because he is dating the super strict diet chick from blogs past. He says he can't have that, but then all loud she said "what's healthier, the cookie or easy mac?" I'm no idiot, that's no coincidence, and he responded neither. I almost chimed in but I didn't want them to have the satisfaction that I even paid attention to what was said.

I will LOVE the day that someone asks me if I'm on a diet or asks if I should be eating that, because I'm so prepared. The best part is, I am playing this up. I let them see me eat the easy mac, or my lean pockets. But I cover up salad, or veggies so no one sees them. And you know what, when I get to 180 and people are asking me how I lost weight I will be able to say honestly that I ate whatever I want and less of it and that I pretty much stopped eating fast food. They don't need to know the tears and sweat and hard work that has gone into it. They don't deserve to know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEATHERFREE 8/21/2012 9:51PM

    love it!

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THESHELBSTER 8/20/2012 8:20PM

    You are so amazing. I am so proud of you. I know all about the temptations that you have turned down at your job. You are so strong and so disciplined and there is NO WAY that your co-workers can not tell that you are losing weight. They are just jealous and hating on you. I always say "Let your haters be your motivators!"

I am so proud of you in so many ways, on a daily basis.

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ADZY86 8/19/2012 3:43PM

    Wow this made me really angry! I wish I could come into your workplace and give those 'unmentionables' what-for! Urggghhhh!
Good for you for staying strong. You are doing great...keep doing you.

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GEMINIGEM6 8/19/2012 12:08AM

    I love this blog. You are a rock star.

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_MOBII_ 8/18/2012 9:31PM

    I am at the 20 pound mark and people cannot understand when I tell them that I can eat what I want....and I can! Its what I CHOOSE to eat! Sometimes I choose to eat salad....sometimes its a hamburger instead of a turkeyburger!

People can be such jerks sometimes!
You just keep on keepin on!

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ATTACKFATCAT 8/17/2012 12:16AM

    People who act like that are generally so miserable in their own lives that they feel the need to make everyone else feel bad as well. There are some who also see others progress and seek to sabotage them whenever possible. Adults can be worse than teenagers. Don't let them get you down and you keep doing what works for you. emoticon

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BELIEVER104 8/16/2012 7:39PM

    Forget those haters!! You're doing exactly what's right for you! Sending you good vibes to deal with those nasties at work.

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HDHAWK 8/16/2012 5:34PM

    It really ticks me off that people care so much about what we eat. They need to mind their own business. Keep doing what works for you!

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DR8561 8/16/2012 12:35PM

    It amazes me that people think they have the right to act as food police. What you eat or don't eat is nobody' s business but your own. emoticon for not sinking to their level.

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MISSB8604 8/16/2012 12:33PM

    Girl, I couldn't be more proud of you. YOU ARE AMAZING.

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/16/2012 12:21PM

    Okay. I am convinced we work in the same office. I am on the third floor. Where are you, gorgeous? Where?

How do I put this delicately...

They can all suck it.


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LISAMG1220 8/15/2012 9:48PM

    What you are doing is hard work. You can work on your outer appearance , you will always be beautiful through and through. She can't fix how spiteful, hateful and and ugly she is on the inside. You shine sister and she will always be in your shadow!!!!

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    how mean! who cares what they think - you're doing so great :)

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CARMENB66 8/15/2012 8:15PM

    Wow, you poor thing, to have to work with people like this. I don't know if I could do it. You go girl!!! Keep up the great work and great attitude.

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SHRINK_U 8/15/2012 4:34PM

    Yuck--- so sorry you have to work with people like that. I love the picture with the quote :) My mother always taught us to keep our EYES AND EARS WIDE OPEN.. AND OUR MOUTHS SHUT when it came to work, school, or other organizations. You are doing a great job.. good for you for not letting THOSE kinds of people get to you!

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HAPPYERIN 8/15/2012 4:11PM

    Wow, those are your coworkers??? What kind of kindergarten crap is that??? I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like that -- clearly there is some bad stuff at play there.

I COMMEND you on many levels -- for keeping your head up and not letting them get to you, for putting up with it in the first place, for sticking to your game plan, and for not stooping to their level of awfulness. Let them be miserable, while you dance and cheer yourself on! I love your attitude, keep up the great work!

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EMMAEKAY 8/15/2012 1:57PM

    Would you let someone make you feel ashamed for filling your car up with 89 octane fuel instead of 91? Then why let them make you feel ashamed about providing a different kind of fuel to your body?

Miss America sounds like a nasty, insecure B*&^h. But that's HER problem. Report the teasing to HR immediately, but stop hiding and eating furtively - it's not worth the energy or emotions. It's okay to eat salad and chicken, or a hamburger and fries... They can be made just as healthy or unhealthy as you want, and it's no one else's business. Try not to put so much stock in other people's words. Your life is about YOU.

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PUNKY100 8/15/2012 12:05PM

    Haha omg I love this blog. That poster is exactly what I do as well. We're not quiet, we just choose who we want to talk to, and that happens to be NOT YOU. :-P

I have a great should take things in containers that are totally NOT what they are. You probably don't have any of that stuff around the house anymore, but if you have some old containers, put healthy foods that look like it in the containers of the things that are bad for you, and just eat straight out of it. They will be completely shocked and laugh about it for hours I bet. They will be so obsessed that they caught you 'cheating' and you can just sit there and laugh as you lose another 5 lbs.

I am really impressed at your restraint not to b**ch slap her...although I'm sure if one of you ever left, and you saw her in a parking lot... ;-)

Anywho, if having that easy mac and chicken patty keeps you away from the fast food, that's awesome!!! (And now I'm totally hungry for mac and cheese lol) I hope she eats all the cookies mwahahaha emoticon

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ALICIALYNNE 8/15/2012 11:46AM

    Well, you can (WILL!) lose the weight; she's always going to be a jerk.

As the poster above me noted; haters are gonna hate.

Just keep making these healthy changes! You're doing great!

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JACOBSBELOVED 8/15/2012 2:42AM

    Seriously?? Adults still act like they're in high school?? I'm SO glad you didn't say anything when she made her snide comment. Acting like you didn't hear her was the best way to give her absolutely no satisfaction. I LOVE that you're eating the Easy Mac and stuff in front of people and hiding the fruits and veggies!!!!!! The fact that it looks like you're not even trying and yet you're losing all this weight is probably driving her CRAZY and I love it!!! I probably don't love it as much as you're loving it, but YOU'RE AMAZING!!!

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STORMKITTY67 8/14/2012 9:21PM

    What a doggone shame you have to work with a-holes like this. I'm glad you have a good attitude and are able to not let them get to you, as easy as it would be. Someone earlier said it perfecty, you are losing weight (40 lbs so far) but they will always be jerks.

Keep your head up. emoticon

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ZELDABEE 8/14/2012 11:57AM

    this is why some people confuse me, if I'm being honest I think that she is wierd because who has the time to be mad about what other people are eating? I don't get why people feel the need to be mean and I know that people say it's because they are insecure - but and I think i've said this before that just seems like a cope out, I've struggled with self esteem and body image my entire life but I dont feel the need to bring other poeple down. Not that I'm the queen of nice or anything but I don't feel the need to spend my time judging other people, when it comes down to it we all have a choice - she is chooses to be the way she is and what she does is a reflection of who she is as a person not you. :) your awesome

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KEZRARAYNE 8/14/2012 10:56AM

    it's unfortunate you feel and are treated that way. Living in shadows like that...don't you feel it contributes to self esteem issues? I know it would for me. Kudos to having a plan and y'know what? Some day you WILL reach your goal weight and when you don't have to say anything in repsonse. You earned COMPLIMENTs, not abuse like that. :D Keep sparkin'!

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MAHGRET 8/14/2012 10:51AM

    Well, you can get thinner and healthy, but she will still be mean. keep up the good work and do it for YOU, not what anyone else thinks.

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GATEAUX981 8/14/2012 9:43AM

    WOW, what an unfortunate group of people you have been forced to see everyday! Good for you for not letting people like that get to you, you would think that since we are OUT of elementary school, that cliques and immature popularity contests would be a thing of the past, but apparently, that isn't the case. Good on you for being the bigger person. These people must have very low self esteems and self worth if they feel the need to pick on you. Congratulations on your weight loss, focus on yourself and don't let negative people steal your joy! emoticon

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OLIVIANIGHT 8/14/2012 6:03AM

    Man, you're brave. If I had to work with people like that I would have left long ago. emoticon

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/14/2012 2:28AM

    What a cow! I don't know how you survive in that harsh environment.

What she said is more a reflection on her than on you- secure, well adjusted people don't say junk like that. I'm sorry she was so mean.

I think about this a lot actually, and I think people will make fun of others no matter their size. I look at my friends who are thin, and they are made fun of for their hair/ears/style/intelligence and I have friends who are fat who are made fun of for dieting/eating/style/intelligence etc. My 13 year old sister was called fat at school and it was a really big deal for her. She is 5'5" and weighs maybe 120 pounds.

Which brings me to my point: Haters gonna hate.

It's something every well-adjusted secure person will have to learn to deal with. It's not because we're fat that we are mocked, it's because we are human. I heard once that people throw rocks at things that shine. And there is truth to that: Insecure people will say or do anything to bring down those around them to feel or look superior.

This is a lesson I'm learning. People aren't just mean to me because I am fat- so getting thin won't shut them up. People are mean because people have problems that they don't know the answer to. They don't like themselves, they can't make right with their past, they carry burdens too immense to bear, so they do anything they can to make it look like they have everything together- even (and especially) putting others down/abuse etc.

Don't use their meanness as motivation. It's so negative! Stick to your loving positive statements to keep as motivation. You can only be responsible for ensuring you (and I guess your children eventually) are healthy, secure, well adjusted adults. Focusing on the junk they say will only poison your mind and make you sad. Sad=Bad.

Wow this turned into another essay. It's funny how our lives parallel sometimes - Sorry friend.

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JESSICA_STULTZ 8/14/2012 1:13AM

    Sometimes people get so focused on what is wrong with others that they fail to take a look at themselves. No matter what you eat, you are making big steps to a healthier you and that is what is important. I hate when people think they are so much better then everyone else.. which clearly this other person thinks that way. It just makes them look bad in the long run. I can't wait til you hit your goals and can strut your stuff in front of them. That'll show them! Haha.

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40lbs Lost... A Gift & A Curse...

Friday, August 10, 2012

So I've been talking a lot lately about the 40lb curse that I have. I have never made it past 40 lbs lost in any of my weight loss attempts. So while I am celebrating the 40 lbs lost mark, I am also keeping my focus on moving forward to the 50 lb mark.

I did not expect to wake up and be able to take this picture today. It is my weigh day, but between the rough day on Tuesday and my TOM I did not expect it, so I am really excited.

I do not have an official picture of me at 272, so the closest I have is this one where I was "around" my highest weight. The plaid shirt in the picture, I had to wear as an "over shirt" because I could only snap the bottom 2 closed and if I moved slightly they popped unbuttoned. Now I can button it all the way and I look forward to seeing the shirt get looser and looser. I have no idea what jeans I was wearing in the picture, but I have gone from a 24 to a 20 and the 20's are a little loose, so yay. :)

I can definitely tell in my chins area, and the fact that I can button up the shirt is great. It's still hard for me to be all confident and adorable in pics when I still feel I have so far to go, but I'll be glad I took this photo to look back on in the future. :D

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEMINIGEM6 8/19/2012 12:04AM

    Girl you can def see the difference! You're doing great! Congrats! I'm with you. I have made it to the 40lb mark before too and nothing more. I have since gained that weight back and am now having to start over at a higher weight than I was back then. But I, like you, am determined to make it past the 40lb mark. :)

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GINNJEN1974 8/15/2012 8:09AM

    Yes you will be glad. I need to step it up and take some pics myself. Good for you that you are seeing all the changes taking place.

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JESSICA_STULTZ 8/14/2012 1:08AM

    Woo hoo! Definitely a change in that 40 pounds. I feel you on trying to hit that 50 down. I've been working on it these last couple weeks. Only about 2 pounds away and I was at the same weight as last week on Sunday. So frustrating. Keep pushing and you will hit that 50, then 180, then 170. You can do it!

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DIXIEDOLL87 8/13/2012 3:49PM

    Go you! You look great!

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EMMAEKAY 8/13/2012 2:12PM

    You are BEAUTIFUL!

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ZELDABEE 8/13/2012 1:59PM

    you look amazing! I can't even tell you how proud I am to have you as a spark friend!!!

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KASTASTROPHY 8/13/2012 6:49AM

    Damnnnnnnnn!!! Girrrrllllllllllll!!!!! Let me get yo number! HIt me up with dem digits cuzzz you so fly!!

but seriously!!! LOOK AT THAT!!! that is TONS of progress!!!!

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SCARJOWANNABE 8/11/2012 10:37PM

    I'm really happy for you, congrats!

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THESHELBSTER 8/11/2012 9:51PM

    You look amazing. I am so proud of you. I heart you so much!

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HEATHERFREE 8/11/2012 9:30PM

    YESSSSSS!!! awesome!! I can tell a big difference, but next time I want a bigger smile!!!!! hahaha good job hun you rule!

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SHEPIL 8/11/2012 8:00PM

    emoticon Great job. Thanks for sharing your journey.

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BELIEVER104 8/11/2012 4:24PM

    Congrats on your success so far!! Blow that 40 lbs curse out of the water!! Keep up the great work :)

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LENHARDT 8/11/2012 3:46PM

    You look great. Nice job! I have a feeling that you'll definitely make it past the 40 lbs this time. emoticon emoticon

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SHORTTOOTH1 8/11/2012 2:01PM

    Awesome job! Keep up the great work

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AMCLELLAN 8/11/2012 1:02PM

    Awesome, you are looking great!

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    I can see a big difference! You can make it past 40, just keep going strong! I never believed I'd lose 121lbs, but it's possible!!

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MAHGRET 8/11/2012 9:10AM

    Congrats and keep up the good work! i love the before and after photos, you can see such a difference.

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ADARKARA 8/11/2012 7:30AM

    Look at how baggy those jeans are, way to go!!!

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CHICAT63 8/11/2012 7:24AM

    How awesome is that 40 pounds lost Woohoo !!!! Now forward to 50 you can do it. emoticon

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CORNERKICK 8/11/2012 2:19AM

  Good for you...Keep it up!

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JACOBSBELOVED 8/11/2012 1:52AM

    So exciting!!!! Keep it up! Continue to find new ways to stay motivated! You are getting so incredibly close to your goal! Here's to you on your way to the 220's!

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/11/2012 1:46AM

    I'm going to teach you a secret my Mom taught me as a kid.

So: here it goes. Turn that picture upside down.

Crazy? Yes.

Now you can look at the photo with fresh eyes. (At least this is how I look at pictures of myself. It keeps me from nitpicking about my unlovely parts)

Look at the curves of your body- Sweetie- where did your upper belly go? And your legs? You gotta put those beauties in a skirt! And your face and neck shrunk! I see a HUGE difference in your legs and in your curves too. Have a look at how loose and baggy those jeans are around your legs-

I totally get that you don't want to start thinking that this is "enough". But Stephanie, you body will just keep getting smaller. With all the habits and changes you've made, you have paved the road to a smaller body- you just gotta keep trucking.

But when you get small, (notice I said WHEN!) your body image will not magically get better. If you were 135 pounds you would still find nitpicky things about your body you didn't like. Babe- you have got to start loving yourself and the vessel that is holding you. Your body is beautiful for all the awesome things it does (didn't your body take you to Disneyland? Wasn't it your body that challenged fear and did something hardcore? Your legs that lugged 270 odd pounds everywhere you needed to be? That's one powerful body!)

When I look at this picture I see weeks of hardwork, dedication and determination of a lady so beautiful she cannot yet see it herself. Just like Cinderella, you my dear are rising from the ashes to live the life you dreamed.

You should be SO VERY proud of yourself. I know I am!

AND PS: OMGOSH CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Meet you at 50 pounds? We're neck and neck :)

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83MARTHA 8/11/2012 12:51AM

    I just went through what you are going through. I had been to 225 lbs 3 times before. I was very discouraged when I got to that point again. But this time with the encouragement of sparkpeople I fought through it. It took me a month to lose weight again. Now I have lost another 6 lbs in the last 2 weeks. Don't give up regardless how discouraging it is.Good Luck!

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SANDERSON83 8/10/2012 11:37PM

    Rock it girl!

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PUNKY100 8/10/2012 11:14PM

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Welcome to the club!!!!!! :-D

I'm so excited!!!! :-D

I can't wait until we get to 50 lost, it's going to be awesome, and I know we'll both get there!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOSINGITNOW11 8/10/2012 10:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRACEMCC45 8/10/2012 10:18PM

    You are definitely looking great!!! Now, stop seeing 40lbs as where you've always stopped before. It is just a number. Not a milestone, a curse, a tombstone, or a stop sign. It happens to fall somewhere between 35 and 45, and that's it. It's a number, and you have many more to reach!

I know you can do it!!

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IMSOOZEEQ 8/10/2012 8:44PM

    emoticonI see a big difference. When you are struggling, look back at that picture! That should snap you right out of it. You are emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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BY-HIS-GRACE 8/10/2012 8:37PM

    You're amazing! I can't wait to lose 40... I seem to be in a slight slump.
so excited to see you with the shirt closed!! Way to go.

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Bouncing Back & Unconventional Motivation. ;)

Friday, August 10, 2012

So since my "Pull Yourself Together" Blog, I have done exactly that, and it is mostly because of all the great comments I received. There is no way I could continue the downhill spiral when #1. I knew that I was self sabotaging. #2. I had so much love and support from so many sparkers!

I have had two great days food-wise, I am still super crampy and not feeling that great so the exercise hasn't happened in it's usual form. I did however put on my heart rate monitor, and clean the kitchen while dancing to burn 500 calories, so I'll take it where I can get it.

Now on to what some might call unconventional motivation. I love Cinderella, and it has been a long running joke with a fellow overweight friend that I would love to be slutty Cinderella for Halloween one year. She wants to be Snow White. Basically it was just a pipe dream and something I never intended to follow through on.

Two years ago, I bought this outfit on clearance in the largest size they had, which is an extra large. I looked it up and that runs about a 14/16. I am currently in a 20, and let me tell you this thing does not even fit over my hips at this point. It has been in the closet ever since and I've never paid much attention to it until today.

The thing of it is, I do not want to go out in public in it. It is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I would love to be able to wear it and take a photo of me in it. That photo may very well NEVER see the light of day, but it would be something for me to have and to know that I "did it". (Kassie, sound familiar? I could totally relate to what you were saying the other day! ;))

I have now hung this costume in my room on the wall. If I had company or something I would take it down and not want to explain myself, but it is now something I am going to look at everyday. On my fridge I put a Cinderella magnet which is my less dramatic reminder each and every time I go to the fridge.

The costume is reversible and turns into Snow White, two slutty pics for the price of one, who could resist? I am under no illusion that I would look like the woman in these photos, but this is just a fun non scale related goal for me and something to look forward to. I have really been lacking in motivation and I am grabbing it anywhere I can.

In other news I am one pound away from the 40lb lost mark, and I am chomping at the bit to take 40 lb lost photos. There might not be a huge difference when I see the photos, but it is something to look forward to nonetheless. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASTASTROPHY 8/13/2012 6:48AM

    i love it!!!!! I can't wait to see your slutty outfit right alongside mine!!!!
leg-warmers this is going to be part of my outfit! not sure if i'll go with these colors but i plan on keeping these in my closet lol!!!!

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THESHELBSTER 8/11/2012 9:57PM

    You are totally gonna be rocking that outfit before you know it. Great goal and totally achievable.

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JACOBSBELOVED 8/11/2012 1:47AM

    You have your slutty Cinderella costume up and I have a baby onesie up. It hangs up in my room over my dresser. I too take it down if a repairman comes over or if I know friends or family will be in my master bedroom. It reminds me that when I lose the weight, my husband and I then can try to have a baby. We've never tried because I would just be crushed if something went wrong because of my weight. It really is a good reminder of what our goals are and new visuals always help me as well. Go ahead and take those pictures when it fits! You do it for you!

Keep it up, girl! You are AWESOME!

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CHICAT63 8/10/2012 1:28PM

    You'd be surprised at the fit of those costumes, my daughter has bought a sexy Minnie Mouse costume it's an XL. I had a Disney Themed Wedding to go to and it did fit me ! The dress was way too short but I wore one of my spandex workout leggings just past the knee with the ears and everything. Can't wait to see the photos !!!!

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PRINCESSAA12 8/10/2012 12:06PM

    The dress is awesome! I would have gotten it too! Good motivation! Keep it up.

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PUNKY100 8/10/2012 11:39AM

    Hahahaha maybe someday I should post my halloween photo from when I was in college...I was I think like an 18-20-22 somewhere around there, and I had this corset thing from Lane Bryant that I wore and went as a 'hooker'. It was very entertaining LOL I would love to be able to wear one of those and actually go to a party in it and show it off. How amazing would that be!!! :-D

I can't wait to see the 40 lbs lost photos!!!!! There will definitely be some difference, you just have to get them side by side! :-D

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/10/2012 11:34AM

    AWESOME! I've always wanted to fit in a one size fits all costume. Apparently one size is a size 12 or smaller :) Lately, I've been dreaming of taking sexy pics for my hubby and I bet a costume like this would be a fun way to make him smile ha!

I'm so proud of you and CAN'T WAIT to see your 40 pounds down photos. They are so liberating!

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HEATHERFREE 8/10/2012 11:33AM

    woohoo! I pound away from the 40 pounds lost...awesome I'm just trying to get up to thirty! Ive lost 24 now and this week has not been good, so hopefully I can pull it together! I really liked the cinderella magnet idea to remind you outside of your bedroom.

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ADARKARA 8/10/2012 9:52AM

    I love this idea! I would love someday to be able to have boudoir photos taken for my husband. =)

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AMCLELLAN 8/10/2012 9:00AM

    I think that is a cool goal. I mean, we each have our own little things that keep up going. My husband and I have a running joke that some day I will get one of the out fits that they show in the porn store windows that we pass every day. You will wear that outfit, and you will rock it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HIDDENRUNES 8/10/2012 8:57AM

    I totally get it! I have a dream of one of those little german barmaid costumes...Would never ever wear in public but it would be awesome to slip into that and feel like I look good. Maybe I should buy one and hang it up like you! Nice idea on the cinderella magnet too. Good luck!

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