STEPH-KNEE   76,162
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STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

Pull Yourself Together Woman! (Letter To Self)

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Hey Crazy Lady,

You, yes you, crazy lady, what in the world are you doing? Who are you trying to fool? You were 2lbs away from the 40 pounds lost mark before vacation. Your goal was to at the very least maintain while you were on vacation for a week, and despite your slip ups you did that. But what was with this mess today?

You started off with good intentions. You had a 16 hour shift that you were dreading, and you came prepared with plenty of healthy food. You started off the day right with your turkey chili, but where did it all fall apart? Oh that's right, you said just one donut wouldn't hurt. You thought you would track it and move on. Next thing you know it was TWO donuts. All of a sudden you snapped and you ordered a tostada salad from El Pollo Loco, which you knew good and well was around 900 calories, but you just didn't care now did you? You were hungry after that and still had something else to eat.

I bet you said "eff this, I'm tired, I'm cranky, I have cramps and am pms'ing, and I am stuck here for 16 hours!" Okay fine, but what does that have to do with eating like a pig? You tracked the damage and you are looking at 2900 calories. That is two days worth of food in one day.

I know exactly what you are doing, you do this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. You have NEVER lost more than 40lbs in one weight loss attempt. NEVER. You are so close to the 40lb mark, you are feeling a little lighter, people are starting to notice, and you are thinking "hey I'm doing pretty good." Then all of a sudden BAM! You start thinking you don't need to watch what you eat as closely, or don't need to move as much, and you start backsliding. I think there is a part of you that is AFRAID to lose this weight, it is your wall, and you feel it protects you, but we will get to that another time.

If 40 lbs lost was your goal that would be another thing, but you are not even close! Your ultimate goal is 180 pounds, which is still 54 pounds away. Your shorter term goal is to get to Onederland, so what's the hold up? I also secretly know your goal weight of 180 is a little cushy, it's cushy because you are afraid of failure. I mean look, I know you haven't been under 200 since before you were 18, and 180 would be quite the accomplishment. You wouldn't look too shabby at it either, but I secretly know you would really rather aim for about 170. But we'll pretend I don't know that... for now.

For now, you need your eyes on the prize, and the prize is Onederland. I don't mean to kick you while your down, but someone needed to give you a wake up call, so here it is. I will at least say you did walk 1.6 miles today at work, so you get a little credit there, but the truth is if you don't pull yourself together, you can kiss Onederland goodbye. I know you look down at your stomachs everyday and wish they were gone, so don't give up on yourself, you can do it!

Much Love,
Your Inner Skinny Girl

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 8/11/2012 9:54PM

    I need to write one of these to myself. I keep sabotaging my own hard work and it is pissing me off.

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PIICHII 8/10/2012 11:45AM

    Wow I wish I could talk to myself like this. I need some advice to myself hahah

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JESSICA_STULTZ 8/9/2012 12:23PM

    I definitely know the feeling when you have lost the weight and start to slide because the weight lost is starting to show. My tracking is horrible lately.. but I still try to keep track at least a little. Don't get down on yourself.. You will reach your 40 pounds down.. and then your wonderland, 180, AND 170. Just gotta get your butt back on track asap! An "I can do it" attitude works wonders. Now is the time to challenge yourself to get past where you have gone in the past and show yourself that you can do anything including getting back to a happier, healthier you. Hope today goes a lot better for you. That time of month can be a killer some days!
emoticon emoticon

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ZELDABEE 8/9/2012 11:22AM

    Sorry I was late commenting, I def need to write one of these to myself - the last two days have been horribe...tuesday more so then yesterday but enough about me - I loved this!! We all have off days but the sooner we learn to accept those days we can move on rather then fall back into old habits. You doing wonderful and i can't wait to see those 40 pounds lost pictures!!!!

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GRACEMCC45 8/9/2012 6:42AM

    Wow!!! Powerful words!

2900 Calorie days happen, and you are doing an awesome, WONDERFUL thing with this blog!

It is the epitome of Track, Learn, Reflect, Move On. The key in not letting 1 binge day turn into a bad week or month.

Keep up the awesome work!! emoticon

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/9/2012 4:00AM

    I just want to give you a big hug. Are we possibly sisters? Girl, we need to claim back our power. Who controls who we are? We do! Not our fear. Not our insecurities. We gotta get our blinders on and focus on the path ahead of us. Here with you girl. This is week 3 of plateauing and it is absolutely killing me. We can do this!

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HEATHERFREE 8/8/2012 8:29PM

    Great letter! It is exactly what I would say to someone....so I need to say it to myself too!!! You can do this, me and you we are neck and neck and from the sounds of your "eat whatever" day and my several "eat whatever" days we NEED to slap the crap out of ourselves and keep on this!!!! P.S. where do you live?

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TYANDCARSMOM 8/8/2012 12:58PM

    That was an AWESOME blog!! I really connected with it & kinda made me say to myself... am I reading someone else's blog or is this my InnerSkinny Girl talking to me? I have been self sabotaging lately... and it needs to stop!!

Thanks for sharing,
Nicole

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WILDBEANERZ 8/8/2012 12:10PM

    Great blog! Such an open honest letter to yourself. emoticon

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PRIMATEP 8/8/2012 12:04PM

    "you are feeling a little lighter, people are starting to notice, and you are thinking "hey I'm doing pretty good." Then all of a sudden BAM! You start thinking you don't need to watch what you eat as closely, or don't need to move as much, and you start backsliding."

Thank you for writing all of this out! That is totally what happens to me. You are so strong for facing it and putting it out there - I think this is a perfect step toward getting it done.

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EMMAEKAY 8/8/2012 11:23AM

    Go, inner skinny girl! Kick fat girl OUT of the driver's seat and take control today!

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ADARKARA 8/8/2012 11:20AM

    Love this, great blog!

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WANNARUN22 8/8/2012 10:04AM

    WOW!!! Amazing letter to yourself! I have a certain spot that I usually kind of 'give up' at and then regain. This time is different and I know it can be different for you too! Just get your head in a good space again, and get back on track today!! Good luck!

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PUNKY100 8/8/2012 9:50AM

    Yep, I know exactly where this is coming from!! I was thinking the SAME thing last week, that my subconscious is telling me that I'm done, but I'm not!!!! And neither are you!!! I know you'll hit that 40 lb mark, and then it will be 50, and you'll be well on your way again. We all have bad days, and I'm glad you acknowledged it and are going to keep on working.

That's the hardest part, so good for you!!!!!

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CHICAT63 8/8/2012 9:31AM

    Great letter to one self !!!! emoticon emoticon you can and will get past the 40 pounds loss mark, I challenge you HA !

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COURTNEY055 8/8/2012 9:26AM

    Great Letter to inner self. I can relate to it! I lost and regained 14lbs. I think too cuz I was scared of what losing weight meant and that was maintaing the loss. I'm back on the losing side and I feel much more confident this time. best of luck to you! U can do it! emoticon

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IMSOOZEEQ 8/8/2012 7:51AM

    Hey girl you sound like me!!! lol I loved the letter! It is all very true stuff. Some times we have to get to this point before we get that AHA moment or we make that quality decision that we are going to do it and NOTHING is going to get in the way - not even ourselves!!

You can do it my friend!!!

Susan emoticon

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81MSMITH1 8/8/2012 6:58AM

    Great letter. It really resonated with me. emoticon

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PATTOMMC3 8/8/2012 6:32AM

    emoticon

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GHOSTFLAMES 8/8/2012 5:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Home From Vacay - The Good, Bad and The Ugly...

Friday, August 03, 2012

So I spent 8 days in Vegas with my Gammie. We had a lot of fun. I gambled and lost my a$$, but hey, it happens! ;) I came back to see all the comments wishing me well on my last blog... I was so gung-ho! But just being in Vegas comes with a lot of food temptations lol.

So did I do what I set out to do? I would say 50/50.

The Good:
emoticon: I brought my George Foreman Grill & food scale with me.
emoticon: I counted my calories and stayed in range 4 out of 8 days.
emoticon: We made yummy "taco salads" by putting in some lean ground beef and crushing up a few Dorritos (that is the taco part), so yummy and low in calories. We had that a lot.
emoticon: Got a bit of walking in, not a TON, but some is better than nothing. :)

The Bad:
emoticon: Original plan was one trip to the buffet with the free food coupon, and one trip to the Cafe to split something with the other free food coupon. We ended up buffeting twice in lieu of going to the cafe.
emoticon: We did go to Applebees, but I didn't end up ordering off the 550 and under menu. My Applebees closed down and I haven't been in years. This may sound like an excuse and anyone who wants to think it is is actually fine with me. ;) It was 14 dollars for some sirloin thing that I was going to pick, it wasn't something I wanted or something I would pick just because... but it was the only thing off that menu that basically didn't have shrimp (I don't eat seafood). They currently had a promotion 2 for $20. Essentially for 7 dollars more, my grandma and I both ate and had an appetizer. I knew the spinach dip was over 800 calories, so we got onion rings as an appetizer instead and I got chicken strips & fries. Only bright side was I didn't eat it all, normally I'd inhale it. That ended up being my only meal for the day, not intentionally but I was stuffed the rest of the day.

The Ugly:
emoticon: It happened yesterday. It was just a bad day, plus I'm PMS'ing. I pull into the stupid gas station, and as I am pulling up to the pump I notice this dumba$$ driving away with the gas pump attached to her car. Just as I am saying it to my grandma, it flies like a sling shot and hits my car. I get out, she gets out, I had to keep my dumba$$ comment to myself. She didn't even really say sorry she said "I can't believe I forgot that", I said nothing she said "Did it hit your car", I said "yeah." I thought it hit farther back and was checking and I couldn't see any damage. Mind you my car isn't in perfect condition, but it's an 06 so it isn't a dented up piece of crap either. I was just so mad and I didn't see anything. So she leaves and that is when I see the freakin dent in my drivers door. Let's just say I'm still angry talking about it now. It's not huge, maybe 2 inches but it just sent me into a why me spiral. Why was I at THAT gas station at that EXACT moment? More importantly why didn't I see it BEFORE I said I didn't see anything and she drove off? So. ANNOYED. I try to convince myself it isn't something big enough that I would get fixed, but now every time I get in the car I stare at the dent.

I didn't even get gas, I was in beeyotch mode. Drove home, sat for a while. Then left Grandma, went to get gas and told her I was going to Del Taco. Ladies and gents it was stress eating at it's finest. I got a big fat chicken taco combo (two tacos)... shared the fries with Grandma. I also got a spicy jack quesadilla and those new potato popper things (whatever that is). I couldn't eat it all at once (like I used to) but just saved the rest for later and ate it. I knew what I was doing when I was doing it, and have already had my pitty party about it. It just reminds me this is an on going struggle and will continue to be an uphill battle for the rest of my life.


So there you have it, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of my trip. In comparison it could have been so much worse. 8 days in Vegas would normally be 10-12 meals out. I left here at about 234, my night time weight (I couldn't resist) is 237... so I either maintained or gained about 1lb but to me that is a success. I can come back weighing 5 pounds more very easily. So my 40 pounds down (232) still has to wait, but it will come soon, I just know it. :D

I missed Spark and everyone on it. I also learned this is a very important key to my success!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEATHERFREE 8/6/2012 1:12PM

    Dude you did fantastic!! I wouldn't be able to do that well! And next time I'm coming to vegas too! I need to get out of this hick town for a few days...ha. Just so you know I'm still here, I am still doing this and I will have a new vlog up or maybe two telling about all the crap thats been going on.

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JESSICA_STULTZ 8/6/2012 12:06AM

    Sometimes gains happen.. Just gotta get back on track and show your body whose boss. ;-) I know the emotional eating all too well. I've been doing a lot better with it lately though. Hope you can find some way to get around it. It is soo hard to beat emotional eating.. and I'm not sure it can ever fully be done. Sucks that you had to get a dent in your car.. but maybe it can be a memory of visiting your grandma for now.. until it gets fixed. It'll probably be something you laugh about later in life. Was it a good trip overall though?

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/4/2012 12:55AM

    Oh my goodness! I missed you on Spark! But it sounds like your vacay was AWESOME! You did a GREAT job! emoticon

I'm sorry to hear about your car. I am glad to hear that no one was hurt though, if that had hit your windshield, or a person, it would have been so much worse.

Are you finding it difficult to get back into the swing of things now that you are home?

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GRACEMCC45 8/3/2012 3:17PM

    All around success, by far! Stress eating happens! You did great! emoticon

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ZELDABEE 8/3/2012 11:04AM

    I saw a lot more woo-woos then frowning faces! You did amazing on vacation and I totally get why you were upset, maybe heather is right - we all need punching bags to work out our frusrations.

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CHICAT63 8/3/2012 10:05AM

    OMG I have forgotten to put back my gas cap but the pump itself. I am sorry about your car and well, we can understand you being upset. Hey you did great while being in Vegas, Your weight is most likely from the sodium content of your stress eating episode - that's all it was it. Today is a new day, it's even a new month. emoticon emoticon

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PUNKY100 8/3/2012 8:31AM

    Oh my god, what a stupid lady!!! How do you FORGET to take it out of your car unless you're doing a ditch and dash and don't plan on paying for your gas?!?!?! That's just stupidity at it's finest. Don't get me wrong, I have left the little door to my gas tank open before, but it wasn't attached to the thing!!!

And the way I see it, there are 4 successes and only 3 bad things. That means you went 4/7, over 50%, which I consider an overall success! Sounds like you had a great time (too bad we can't say the same for your car...) and I'm excited for you to see 240 very soon!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMCLELLAN 8/3/2012 8:06AM

    Even with the Bad and the Ugly you still managed some good. That is better than nothing. You will hit your goal. Sorry about the car though. emoticon
emoticon welcome back!!!! emoticon

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JURORI 8/3/2012 8:04AM

    I'm glad to hear you had some good to go with the bad, sorry to hear about your car. Dents can be fixed, however awful it was that that happened, and you're still coming to Spark, so any potential gain over the weekend can also be resolved if you choose to take care of it- which it looks like you are! :) Roll with the punches and come up stronger. WELCOME BACK!

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MSNOMOREFLUFFY 8/3/2012 5:04AM

    emoticon Sounds like a roller coaster. It's good that you're back safe.

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Leaving for vacation, and looking forward to 40lbs down...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Tomorrow night I am leaving to spend a week at my Gammie's house... the best part is she lives in Vegas Baby! I go see her a lot, even more so now that she lives alone. We always have so much fun but the trip always revolves around food. Gammie is not to blame for this at all, it's all me. I just get into an "I'm on vacation, and I can eat whatever I want and I don't care" mode. That wouldn't be such an issue if I didn't go see her upwards of 4 times a year lol.

Last time we did okay, it was more towards the beginning of me "getting serious" about this, and I wasn't quite serious yet. This time I have big plans for our week. Day 1 we are going to the store so we can get the majority of our food there. I am also bringing my little George Foreman Grill with me. She is super supportive of me trying to lose weight, especially since she struggles with weight herself.

I am counting calories the entire week, except for one planned treat day and it's our free trip to the buffet. I actually don't stuff myself as full as you would imagine, and we usually wind up having that be just about our only meal, because who really wants to eat after they've been to the buffet? ;) Other than that we have one free dinner at the cafe (the casino is always sending her freebie's) and we are already prepared to split some sort of sandwich and fries and bring an appetizer or something home with us. Our third and finally outing (in terms of food) is when we go to spend the day at the mall. There is an Applebee's nearby and I am so excited to get something off their 550 and under menu.

The sad part is I will have no internet access, so no spark for a week. That bums me out, but I plan to keep a log of my food and put it in when I get back. We are also going to the mall by her house a few times so that I can get my walking in, in a nice air conditioned environment. I am not looking forward to the 107 degree heat, that is for sure.

When I get back (or shortly after), I am hoping to finally hit the 40 lbs lost mark. I am 2lbs away but it isn't going to happen before I leave. I am actually excited to take a 40 lbs down pic thanks to my spark friend BETHIEBOOPS... she gave me the push to do it and I found a shirt that I have in a pic at pretty much my highest weight, so I hope to be doing that when I get back.

I hope you all have a great week! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASTASTROPHY 8/1/2012 1:50PM

    HAVE AN AMAZING VACATION BUT HURRY HOME BECAUSE I MISS YOU!!!!

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BETHIEBOOPS 7/27/2012 11:41AM

    I am so glad you are going to take the pic! You will TOTALLY see a difference! Have a GREAT vacay staying on plan. REmember- it's a lifestyle!

So proud of you! Can't wait to hear back when you get back!

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HEATHERFREE 7/26/2012 10:43PM

    thanks for the comment on my blog, and I freaken am SO proud of you for having your vacation eating all planned! And walking planned too! Ugh I wish I was doing as good as you, you are totally rocking it!!!!

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JUSTLIKEALICE 7/25/2012 11:57PM

    You can do it!

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GRACEMCC45 7/25/2012 11:05PM

    Yay!! You are going to have a fantastic time! Can't WAIT to see the pics. 40lbs is AMAZING, you are awesome!

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IMSOOZEEQ 7/25/2012 10:40PM

    Have a great trip! Leave that weight in Vegas! What ever happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas! lol

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CARLA393 7/25/2012 10:02PM

    Have fun on your trip! Can't wait to see your results when you're back!

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SWALSH329 7/25/2012 2:43PM

    I've never been to Vegas, I'd like to go though. I hope you have fun! :D

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DUMBBELLE84 7/25/2012 2:30PM

  I wish I had relatives in Vegas! Hope you have a fantastic time and can't wait to see those pics.

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ZELDABEE 7/25/2012 11:01AM

    Have fun on your vacation! I will miss you!

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CLHENDY1 7/25/2012 9:24AM

    Hope you have a really fun trip!!!

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MSNOMOREFLUFFY 7/25/2012 7:18AM

    Have a fabulous time!

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/25/2012 6:40AM

    I hope you have a great time : )

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JESSICA_STULTZ 7/25/2012 1:39AM

    Woo hoo! You can do it! Keep focused.. and more importantly enjoy your trip!

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JACOBSBELOVED 7/25/2012 1:34AM

    Vegas is the place to be, now isn't it? ;)

I totally have faith in you that you will still be losing weight and watching what you're eating while you're at Gammie's! I'm sure it makes all the difference too that she is so supportive. There's nothing worse than spending time, especially a week, with someone who is either unsupportive or tries to sabbotage what you're working towards. You'll probably even teach each other a few new tricks, which is always fun.

Have fun on vacation! Can't wait to see how you did and those 40 lbs lost pictures!

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Got off my butt, and I'm just doing it...

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Every time I have started a weight loss journey, I have sat down with a notebook and wrote pages about how "this time I have to do it". I have done this at least 6 times since I was 18 and I am 26 now. In fact it's probably closer to 10 or 15 times. I would then look back at what I wrote the year before, almost identical. Then I would talk about how much weight I have gained and how out of control I have gotten. Next would come the crazy dates and calculations... you know what I'm talking about, we've all done it. "If I can lose 2 pounds a week, I can lose 80 pounds in X amount of time"... and then "OMG, if I can lose 2.5 pounds a week" and on and on. Then of course I'd get to if I only lose 1 pound a week, it'll take fooooooooorever and is not even worth it. Then the calculations of how many calories can I burn and how I should eat 1200 calories etc etc.

I realized last night that this was the first time I didn't sit there and do that. Would I really like to lose the 36 pounds to get into Onderland by the end of the year? You but I would LOVE that, but I'm not obsessed with it. When I lose "only a pound", I celebrate it now that I am one step closer to where I need to be.

Like Nike and Lacey and a lot of people have said on here, JUST DO IT. That is finally what I am doing. I am not thinking about it, I am just doing it. I don't think about IF I want to exercise or not, I just do it. I always bring my food to work and never leave it to chance just to order whatever I want when they go out to get food.

I will admit I get on the scale a little too frequently and am working on that, but I think my state of mind is FINALLY in a good place, and I am really working hard to get that to continue.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! :D emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARSUB99 7/22/2012 1:49PM

    Good for you. Just get up and move. Just eat one healthy meal. One step one activity one thing at a time and you will get to wonderland.

I think it's like quitting smoking - at some point you just decide to do it and you do it.

Take it as it comes. Keep making more healthy choices more often than bad choices and the weight will come off - you'll tone up and you will be thrilled with yourself.

You can do this!!!!!!!! emoticon

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BETHIEBOOPS 7/22/2012 1:30AM

    I don't know how I missed this blog when you posted it! I LOVE your attitude! Just Do It. Wise words- it takes the "strategy" and "planning" out of the procrastination. Sometimes I get a little wrapped up in it - I had a "plan" to be under 100 kgs for my DR appointment in Sept, but it was totally unrealistic. The difference is, that I now I dont start over because I missed a goal. I just keep plodding on.

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KASTASTROPHY 7/21/2012 10:56AM

    this is why i'm throwing out my scale!!!! because i get focused on the number on the scale and try to find "cheats" when I KNOW what is going to work.. get up and go! just move! so i'm focusing on exercise instead of my scale!!! We will get there when we get there!!!! And ever step we take is a step in the right path!!! =D

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IMSOOZEEQ 7/18/2012 8:58PM

    Yep I can totally relate to all those calculations. Been there done that SO many times! Not doing it this time either!! New mindset!

We got this my friend! We got this!

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JULESM83 7/17/2012 10:32PM

    I can totally relate to everything you are saying. It's as if you read my mind! It can be difficult to not get focused on the length of time and such! I like your motto: Just do it!! emoticon

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JESSICA_STULTZ 7/17/2012 4:32PM

    I have a love hate relationship with my scale.. I love to get on it to see if I have went down.. but I got kind of obsessive of checking it every day, sometimes multiple times. Now I weigh myself maybe once or twice a week. Glad you are not stuck on that certain number to lose each week. I will admit I have goals to lose 1.5-2 pounds a week.. but I don't get down on it if I don't. I have a goal of being around my goal weight by middle of next year. If I stuck to the numbers of 1.5-2 pounds I could be around my goal weight by around march or april. I am not stuck on certain numbers per say. I will stop when I feel healthy and happy.. and by stop I mean weight loss. I plan on living the healthy lifestyle forever! Celebrate every bit of weight loss but don't get down on yourself when it stalls. Do what makes you happiest! :)

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ZELDABEE 7/16/2012 9:36AM

    YAY! I am so totally with you on this. It took me a long time to realize that my weight loss jouney was not and is not a race. I always though that my life wouldn't start until I reached my goal weight - then I could start living. My what I've come to discover (a little late but nevertheless) is that my life was slipping though my fingers. Regardless of our weight we need to start living now and just do it! I am so happy that I found you guys, your so amazing and I'm learning so much!

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CORNERKICK 7/16/2012 2:54AM

  Good luck to you...You can do it!

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HEATHERFREE 7/16/2012 1:28AM

    YES you got it right, Ive been working on that too just saying hey I AM doing it, not doing the calculations, and stressing over every little part and trying to "plan" what I should do because that NEVER EVER WORKS! Im really glad you didn't do all that this time, because you are doing great!

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KATHYGOULDSMITH 7/16/2012 12:44AM

    Like several others have said, I could have written this. Only I am 46 yrs old and I have done it over and over again. I just need to do it. I am in a bad place for the last few days and I have been "off the wagon" so to speak. Not really eating like crap, but not being as picky as I should be. I needed to read this right now. thank you!

KG

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THESHELBSTER 7/15/2012 10:57PM

    You are amazing. You are my hero in so many ways. I think you are a heaping dish of pure awesome sauce and I am proud of you every single day.

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JLJOYNT 7/15/2012 10:31PM

    I could have wrote this myself. I've done the same thing more times than I care to count only to find myself almost back to my highest weight ever. I didn't do it this time. I'm just taking it one day at a time and I'll be happy with whatever progress I make. Tomorrow will be week 1 weigh in!!!

Best of luck to you!

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NEPTUNE1939 7/15/2012 10:27PM

    I got acquainted with Tom Venuto's e-book "Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle". I learned more about nutrition from that author than any other source. Learning to eat healthy along with cardio exercises and strength training is the best way to keep our enemy "fat" from destroying our bodies and shortening our lives.

Forget about concentrating on pounds lost; it is better to measure fat loss with a good set of fat calipers and more rewarding to see your body shrinking to a comfortable size. Weight alone fluctuates and can be misleading causing doubt in plan.

I've learned that eating healthy takes work at first but when you see the results of "fat" fading you will eventually forget about consuming food that is harmful. God bless your progress, Earl

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SLUNDQUIS 7/15/2012 10:22PM

    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you excited to do it.

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CORTNEY-LEE 7/15/2012 10:22PM

    you have a great attitude.

you will do this.

you will be successful

you are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve to be the happiest and healthiest you can be.

Best of luck my friend



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Trying To Lose Weight On The Downlow (Food Police)

Monday, July 09, 2012

Here are two old blogs that reference a little bit of what I was dealing with in 2010 at my workplace:


www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3164396


www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3142153


So this girl that has to comment when I eat healthy and how "if you don't do a super strict diet it's not going to work" (the one extreme diet included no sodium etc etc)...she is something else, that's for sure. Believe it or not I actually get along with her fairly well, which says a lot about the *actual* beyotches I work with lol. ;)

Anyways, her stupid boyfriend caught me tracking on spark the other day and my cover was blown! I always have updates about all the crap that people eat here and try and feed me... but if they know you are trying to lose weight, they will tie you down and force feed you cupcakes, I swear lol. These people seriously are not right in the head.

Anyways, so her stupid boyfriend blew my cover, and she just told me that it was great I was doing good or whatever.

UNTIL TODAY!

Dun Dun Dun! In her passive aggressive almost too sweet tone she said "do you want me to teach you my ways?" I played dumb "about what?" in the same sweet passive aggressive tone. She said "about food" and maintaining the tone I said "nooooo..." she responded with a "really?!" *cue whiny tone* and I knew exactly what she needed to hear to back off from me...

"I'm just not sturdy. I know your way is the best (insert internal eye roll), and that it really does work, but I'm just not sturdy." She seemed to understand that and left me with an "If you ever want to know or advice I am here"... then she knew I've been walking so she said how she walked 3 miles today... mind you I outweigh this chick by at least 60 pounds, probably more like 70... and said it was hard for her but it'll get easier. I just told her that was great, because it is great. I left out the part where my fat a$$ walked 4 miles the other day, booyah suck it! I was so tempted to tell her I was doing "just fine on my own" but it is not worth it. This place is a strange place, and not a good atmosphere in general. Don't get me wrong, I have a handful of actual friends at work who keep me sane, but the rest... don't even get me started.

So I continue on my road of doing it my way, on the downlow, not flaunting anything, hiding my food scale, and not tracking spark freely where others can see. Please don't confuse this with not being proud of what I am doing and please do not lecture me on how sharing our goals is helpful and I shouldn't have to do these things because you don't know what it's like in this shark tank. ;) In my actual life with my actual friends they know about my goals and my steps to become healthier, so it's not like I'm keeping it to myself entirely... it's just the sharks that don't need to smell the blood in the water. ;)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEBEZE 8/14/2012 1:40AM

    Co-workers can be so mean. Where I work they had a pizza party at lunch which I did not attend since I am watching my sodium and I got 3 phone calls about the food being upstairs and where was I, and a visit from my manager wanting to know why I didn't attend. When I explained I was watching my sodium his response was "It wasn't just pizza there was wings too". Really, wings are high in sodium also. I felt like I was being nagged to death when it was my lunch time to do with what I liked. Hold Strong and Steady to your Course you will leave them all in the dust. emoticon

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LAHUDSONCHEF 8/14/2012 1:25AM

    I actually have a co-worker who has tried to get me to take her diet pills. No thank you...I have better things to do than die of a heart attack from being hyped up on those things. Slow and steady wins the race. The things I'm doing now, I want to be things that I will incorporate into my lifestyle, not just to lose weight, but to live healthy for whatever time God gives me. And I blow raspberries at the food police...if I want a Sonic Blast, then I'll have one, if I've left room for it, or if I've planned for it.

Enjoying your posts...

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CORTNEY-LEE 7/15/2012 10:27PM

    sooo... what is her way exactly? Not eat anything at all and when she feels like she is going to pass out she eats a cube of cheese? (paraphrase from The Devil Wears Prada)

Seriously, I know what you mean. My co-workers are really great about everything, and have even gone as far as to buy healthy snacks that we can all enjoy.

Of course there are times when there is pizza, KFC, chips, cookies... whatever, but they totally respect my dietary restrictions and don't even offer. I guess they figure if I want it I will help myself.

It is much nicer that way

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TEMPESTKITTEN 7/12/2012 11:35PM

  I won't lecture you. Next time she starts kvetching and chirping .. throw cupcakes at her and her super crazy boring diet addled brain will snap, she will stuff them in her cheeks chipmunk style and ninja up a tree to savor them and out of your hair til she wants more cupcakes.

I used to be a food nazi to myself until I realized it was the lowest form of living. emoticon

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VICKYMARIEC 7/12/2012 1:25PM

    LOL...i love it! You know your environment so you are handling it the way you know fit. Keep going strong and eventually...hopefully...they'll shut up all together.

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CHICAT63 7/12/2012 1:10PM

    LOL Booyah, you can do this even with those people at work....inserting major eye roll and whatever talk to the hand !

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ZELDABEE 7/10/2012 9:43PM

    i totally understand, there are still certain people I dont want to talk to about my new healthy habits because they will try and force feed me their advice, because they know better then me. The thing is we know our bodies, we know what works and what doesn't and while it's awesome to home someone in your corner, rooting you on and to offer advice if asked -we are the ones that are changing and we have to take our own path.

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HEATHERFREE 7/10/2012 1:11PM

    pshahaha BOOYAH SUCK IT! I laughed sooo hard when I read that lol On one of my blogs I was gonna put those exact words but was like no....ppl will probably be like this chick is weird and un lady like haha. Glad I'm not the only one! Someone commented and said that every workplace has those kind of people......and I just thought about it...that is the ONE thing they don't do to me! They all know I'm changing my eating habits, and they talk me down when I want a soda, or some other snack I def should not have. And the bakery girl flat out yells at me if I go for a donut, which I do quite often, But by the time she tells me all the reasons why I shouldnt do it Im like yeah! It will pass! So I'm really thankful for that ONE thing that they are good for.....anything else work related..not so much haha

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IMSOOZEEQ 7/9/2012 3:29PM

    LOL I loved this. I was rollin' my eyes outwardly for you. I was thinkin'....OH HECK NO!!!! I hate it when people start gettin' all up in your koolaid and they don't know the flavor!

You Go girl! You got this!



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MSNOMOREFLUFFY 7/9/2012 2:23PM

    Hang in there. Haters are gonna hate.

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HEATHERHUNTER 7/9/2012 2:08PM

    I've got people like that. Only they live with me.

I loved this blog, and I think you dealt with mrs. Pushy-pants just beautifully.

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BETHIEBOOPS 7/9/2012 12:54PM

    Agreed! Spark is my tool for weightloss. It will lose it's magic if someone in "real life" found my account.

Good on you for sticking to your guns. People usually have good intentions, but still can be hurtful!

All that to say, I get it girl! Keep your chin up :) You are doing awesome!


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KATHYGOULDSMITH 7/9/2012 7:22AM

    I like to call them "food Nazis", "diet divas" or "Im better than you bullies". Every workplace has them!! emoticon It's not easy though and I am so happy that you have a found a way to deal with it while maintaining a sense of humor! More power to ya!


KG
PS. You totally made me laugh! I love that!

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KAESEA78 7/9/2012 1:38AM

    I completely know what you mean. There are certain people that I can't/don't tell because I don't want to hear what they have to say. For me, a few are because when I say that I am slowly, but consistently, losing-want to tell me what I am doing wrong and how to "miraculously" lose more, faster. The bigger portion of people that I am not sharing my journey with are the ones whom I feel I have told over and over again that "I am dieting and 'this time' I am going to be successful" and really, just don't want to look like a pathetic "non-loser"(lol) loser again!!! I want to be like BAM, look what I did when, this time, I succeed!

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JESSICA_STULTZ 7/9/2012 12:52AM

    Specific people in my life know that I use SP for tracking everything and I leave it at that.. I like having SP being my "secret life" where I share my successes and vent without feeling like I have to not say something because someone might be offended. I think it's easiest for me to have my SP world and home life separate. I still share my accomplishments and everything with others and will recommend SP to anyone who wants a good shot at losing weight but I like it the way it is. I feel like some people would half stalk me if they knew I used SP for blogging and they would bring me down. Nobody is gonna bring me down! :) Use SP as you like to.. and don't feel like you have to tell anyone exactly what you use to help you lose weight. I usually just tell people that I keep track of what I eat and I eat healthy and exercise and leave it at that. Hope you are seeing progress towards your goals!

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SCARJOWANNABE 7/9/2012 12:14AM

    Stay strong! I feel the same way with my work, I always hide SparkPeople whenever they are around. I don't want them to ask questions and make a big deal about it. emoticon

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