STEPH-KNEE   73,340
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

"Have you lost weight?" and The Walk Of Shame...

Friday, May 25, 2012

I went to get my eyebrows done today because I have to attend a wedding on Sunday, and I haven't seen my "eyebrow lady" in a while and she said "wow, have you lost weight?" I said "a little, but not enough", which is true lol. She isn't one of those people that says that all the time, so maybe it was sincere. I hate people who say it to you whenever they see you (if they are one of the people you see once in a while)... "oh have you lost weight", it's almost like the only compliment they can think of to give an overweight person. So annoying. Anyways, I was happy about the comment from her, but then... DUN DUN DUN.

I was walking around Target doing my shopping, and I saw a girl that I went to middle school with. I immediately looked down and to the side, and spent the rest of the time dodging her. First of all she looks exactly the same, her hair is even the same, and skinny just like she was back then. Now of course, I was not skinny by any means in middle school, but I definitely have at least 100 plus pounds hanging off me now. The sad part is, I have a lot of things to be proud of. I know everyone has something that they aren't 100% thrilled with, but the weight made me terrified of her recognizing me. It's weird because in other aspects of my life I am very proud of what I have accomplished. At the age of 26 I own my own home, I have a great job that is a career that I plan to stay at until I retire, and I have great friends and family. But it was like the embarrassment of this weight trumps all that I guess. I know it shouldn't be that way, but I kind of feel like "you've accomplished this and that, but you are still fat but who cares."

I think it was just an eye opener that I have a long way to go with the weight loss, but it is something that I really want. Not even so I won't have to be afraid of running into people, but just so I can feel proud of all aspects of my life, including my weight loss.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THESHELBSTER 5/26/2012 10:21PM

    You have accomplished so much. Weight can come and go but character, attitude, skills, brains, these are all things that are lifetime characteristics for you. You have come far and above many people your age. You have lost weight and gained it like we all have. But it has made you only stronger. My best friend weighs about 130 lbs and she eats like a horse. She mowed down about 1200 calories worth of cookies right in front of me without blinking an eye. But you know what? She is not happy most of the time. That girl you saw could be miserable regardless of her hair and her skinny jeans. I am learning that happiness does not come from a number on the scale. I am proud of you and feel blessed to have you as a friend.

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    You sound exactly like me. I love my job and own my house, but I didn't have a strong bond with many people in high school. If she was just some chick the 2 minutes she saw you won't make an impact, she doesn't know about all the wonderful things you have done since the last time she saw you, and if she doesn't actually stop and talk to you she never will.

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GRACEMCC45 5/25/2012 11:11PM

    What a wonderful feeling from your eyebrow lady!

As for the chick from middle school, I have a few things to ask you:
1) Does she have any bearing in your life whatsoever?
2) Do you feel like you need her validation, although it appears you have not had any semblance of a relationship in many years?
3) How are your accomplishments/failures of any concern to her? Do they impact her life in any way?

If your answer to any of these questions is "no", then you can start to decide whose opinions and ideas you are going to let alter your behaviours. Hold your head up high, don't shy away! You have made amazing progress and deserve to sache through Target like the super amazing chicka you are!

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Weight Loss Vases and Cravings...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

So I'm way late on the weight loss vases, but better late than never right? To be quite honest with you I'm a pretty lazy person (it's a wonder I'm overweight huh? *giggles*;) ), so I did a trial run with vases I had around the house to see if I would actually continue to move the marbles. I know, how sad is that? But I wasn't sure if it was something I thought was great for the moment and would be over in a week. So I took the plunge today and actually bought some stickers and the vases. I already had the little purple and pink hearts which I love, today I get big clear ones to represent the 10 pound marks and and the beautiful huge pink one for goal. Whoever had the idea to get a special gem for your goal is a genius btw. :)

So there we have it, 22 pounds down from my highest, and 70 pounds to get to 180. I really think I'd feel great at 180, but I am also torn because I know this is still in the overweight BMI. I was watching Weight Of The Nation last night per a recommendation from a fellow sparkie, and physically seeing how being in that category can affect so many things health wise it really made me rethink it. For my height, the very highest end of the healthy BMI would be 160 pounds, but I just don't know if that is for me. I guess we'll see. I think I should focus on getting out of the 200's before I burden myself with such decisions. ;)

And Cravings, are really testing my nerves, but I managed to satisfy a craving with not too many calories. Jack In The Box has a new Jr. Jack, which I added the cheese to, however I did not eat the bun or any sauce, just the patty, cheese, onion, pickle and tomato, along with their value fry. I've come a long way since a double cheeseburger, large fries, and tacos on the side etc etc. It's funny because the thing I was craving as far as the burger is concerned was the actual patty, so why throw all those calories away for the bun and sauces? So silly.

Hope everyone is having a great week! :D emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLHENDY1 5/24/2012 7:58AM

    I use them too! They really are a big motivator!! You're doing great! CONGRATS!!!

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CALLIKIA 5/23/2012 5:21PM

    I think I'd break my jars if I tried that right now (I'm back and forth on this stupid plateau and I can't imagine it'd feel good to move a marble and then move it back day in and day out...). Looks cool though, and I hope it keeps you motivated (and away from cravings! ;) )!

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DEBADEAU 5/23/2012 2:07PM

    I made those a few weeks ago, moved them once, stopped haha. Good thing I got the supplies @ the dollar store so I didn't feel so bad. I think it's because I bought the jars too big and they look weird. I Like yours!

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CHICAT63 5/23/2012 12:43PM

    Your jars are great !!!!! Every 10 pounds you will be closer to your goal. Excellent for your craving, you did GOOD !

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GRACEMCC45 5/23/2012 7:18AM

    Those jars are awesome! Wouldn't last an hour in my house with my kitties, but visual prompters are always an awesome choice!

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KAESEA78 5/23/2012 6:57AM

    I also have some goal jars like these and didn't do very good about moving them. I didn't get any special ones for goal though and maybe I should. I drew these goal meters (my profile pic). I really like them. Each one represents 10 pounds. I think you did awesome to realize the exact thing you were craving as opposed to saying you were craving Jack in the box in general. WAY TO GO!!!

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Finally Excited About #'s Not On The Scale

Monday, May 21, 2012

For me, weight loss has always been about one number, and one number only, the number on the dreaded scale. If it didn't move as fast as I felt it should, or heaven forbid went up a pound or 2, I would lose all motivation. But for the first time I see myself fascinated with other numbers. Like my spark points, my calorie and fat count on the nutrition tracker, and the fitness tracker. With the exception of the last couple weeks, I haven't exercised in an incredibly long time, 80% laziness and 20% fear.

I have arthritis in both my knees, and too much exercise or not even too much, it's more the intensity and what not can hurt my knees and they wind up getting inflamed, and this can last for months. The last time it happened I needed cortisone shots in each knee just to be able to walk, and that was over 6 weeks after it was inflamed. So for me high impact just isn't going to happen. On top of that, I fell in April of 2011, broke my ankle and my leg. I now have a plate in my leg, and two screws in my ankle. Definitely not fun, you can still feel a stiffness and my range of motion will never be the same. So there is a legit sense of fear of hurting myself further. But on the flip side of that there is still no excuse for me to sit around and do absolutely nothing. I was using the pool in the condo to help my knees when they were inflamed, but I'm not a big fan of being out in the pool alone, it's a self confidence/swimsuit issue at this point. If my brother comes over and goes with me then I'll do it, but haven't done that in a while. But I am loving getting back into my walking DVD's. I love Leslie Sansone. It is easy on my knees and I like the option of 1, 2, or 3 miles (for now) so I can work my way up. I am also loving my WII and my new WII games. So much fun.

I've never paid much attention to my Spark Points, but all of a sudden I find myself obsessed. I have been on Spark for years, and at one point lost 40 pounds, but gained most of it back. I thought about clearing out the points and starting fresh, but I feel like my struggles and the back and forth is all a part of this journey. Now I find myself reading articles and all those little extra things to get the points. It's almost like a game in itself. Plus I'm trying to keep up my spark streak for walking 4 miles a week, and hope to up the mileage in the future. I think not being so obsessed with the scale is really helping me stay on track, because it's been hovering around 250 for a little while now. That would normally cause me to throw in the towel, but I can't ruin my streak now can I? ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBADEAU 5/22/2012 1:18PM

    Keep it up! Non scale victories are well... victorious!

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Keep up the GREAT work!!!

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People Thinking I'm Older Than I Am (Weight Related)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Well, just my coworkers lol. In the real world, I still always get carded for alcohol (I'm 26), I was at the movies with my friends to see are rated R movie and she is like 'are any of you over 21' thinking that some of us were not even 18. But when we get new people my age at work, and they ask something about how old I am or however it comes they always say "I thought you were older than me", in many cases I am the same age or a year or 2 younger. I honestly think it's directly related to my weight. I am sure I think a lot of things have to do with my weight that don't, but I really think this is the case. I should mention all of these people have been thin girls... I have a feeling it's kind of like well you are so fat I figured you were older to get up to that weight.

That's the only thing I can think of, since the rest of the world won't even let me get a drink without asking to see ID, so hopefully when I lose this weight, I come off my own age for once in my life. I can hope right? ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBADEAU 5/17/2012 12:12PM

    I think it has a lot to do with weight and the way you eat. When you start eating healthier your skin starts getting better and it all just rolls from there!

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STEPH-KNEE 5/17/2012 12:08AM

    That is awesome! I think this is another thing I can look forward to now, instead of just looking at being healthier (which is the most important) and looking and feeling better, but actually being able look my own age. You look phenominal btw. :D

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GRACEMCC45 5/16/2012 11:39PM

    You will be amazed at how much your weight will change your perceived age! On Facebook I have a lady I babysat for when I was 16 years old (I'm 24 now). When I was bigger I was always mistaken for 5-8 years older than my actual age. Her husband looked at my before/after pics and said I look younger now than I did then! I feel like I look more my age now. Being healthier (and not even about weight really) makes your skin, eyes, hair, everything look younger and more full of life!

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A Knife & Fork For Finger Foods, Who Knew?

Monday, May 14, 2012

Okay, so everyone probably knew ha ha. I've always been a little slow. ;) I totally understand the idea of eating slower, slowing down, eating off a smaller plate, chewing plenty and all of that. Do I always do that? No, not always. But I try and make an effort not to inhale my food like I used to. But never in a million years did I ever think about cutting up chicken nuggets. I mean how silly does that look? 1 or 2 bites tops, and that nugget is toast. I was so amazed today how it seemed like my food went on FOREVER. Instead of 6 chicken nuggets, I felt like I had about 50. I am now enjoying my frozen pizza the same way, and boy does it make a difference. I think I'm going to have adopt this for some of the foods I never would have thought about.

And I'm sure there are people cringing at the fact I am eating chicken nuggets and now a frozen pizza, but the fact of it is I work 12 hours on graveyard shift and frozen food is a way of life for me on my working days, but I promise you I'm well within my calories. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RCW0442EHS 5/15/2012 4:34PM

    I still eat a lot of frozen foods myself, you have to do what works for you and cooking fresh food isn't always possible especially with work. The fact that you're taking the time to track shows that you're not reckless with your diet so there really isn't a problem. Your idea of cutting up convenience foods like that is good. I would have never thought of that, it seems so weird at first but I can see how it would work. Keep up the good work and who cares how silly people think it looks.

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DEBADEAU 5/14/2012 8:05PM

    I'm HORRIFIED!! Just kidding ;) As long as you are under your calories and you are supplementing with fruit and veggies, you are FINE! Good idea with cutting up finger foods. I wolf my food down too.

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AMCLELLAN 5/14/2012 10:57AM

    As long as you stay within your calorie range I don't think it matters what you eat. Yesterday, for mother's day, my husband took me to Cold Stone and I made pizza for dinner, but I did stay within my calorie range so I don't care that may choices weren't the best they could have been. emoticon

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