Saturday, May 28, 2011
Such a random question, I know. About a month ago, I fell down the stairs at my house (because I am just one of the most clumsy people EVER)... and ended up breaking my leg and my ankle. I had to have surgery and now have a plate with pins on the outside of my left leg... and two screws in my ankle, and only one will be removed. I'm still recovering, can't walk on it and won't be able to for quite some time still. I have been pretty miserable, and am worried about recovery. I made the mistake of googling some people who have the screws and pins and stuff, and a lot of them were complaining of lots of pain, even a year or two after. The doctor assured me that out of maybe 100 people who have these things, maybe 2 or 3 have a problem. He also said the people that are doing FINE probably aren't on the internet writing about it. I hope he is right.
I have never even broken a bone, so to have a break this extreme is super frustrating for me. I hate not being able to do things, especially go to work. But now I am just complaining ha ha, I was just curious to see if anyone here had anything similar and what there experience was.
Friday, February 18, 2011
so it's not going to leave all on it's own either! Ha ha. I really believe (and sincerely hope) that I am actually getting *it* this time. I've been doing my best to form new eating habits, to find new, healthy foods that I enjoy. I've been doing my best to avoid fast food, and on the occasions I have something, I do it based on calories/fat instead of my cravings. I'm the Queen of excuses... "I work 12 hours a day, and have to commute, and I need to sleep and blah blah blah, I don't have time to exercise"... what a bunch of bologna. There are people doing amazing on their weight loss journeys, who have FAR MORE to do and FAR MORE responsibilities than I do.
On the one MTV show "I Used To Be Fat" the guy tells the trainer: "I don't have time..." the trainer says "but you have time to play video games", and he goes "You're right, I have the time, I don't have the DESIRE." It was so spot on. I didn't have the desire, I wanted to lose weight of course, but I didn't have the desire to keep me going and doing what I need to do. This weight didn't magically appear... it came from me eating fast food and not exercising over and over again everyday. So it is going to take me eating right and exercising over and over again to get it off. I have been so tired this week, but have stuck to walking my 2 miles when I get home... other people are doing this... and hopefully I will be on my way to joining them. :D
I do think I need to put the scale away, because it really messes with my mind. When the weight doesn't go down, I think "Why do I bother?" But I need to just trust that I am doing things right this time, and trust that in time the weight will start coming off. I'm going to try my best to put the scale in the closet and not weigh til the end of the month (which I know isn't THAT far away... but that would be a HUGE thing for me LOL).
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Okay, so I absolutely love love love my job, (the job itself). I'm a dispatcher, I love it, I'm good at it, the deputies heart me and I heart them... I take pride in being able to help them with everyday stuff, but more importantly I enjoy being able to provide them help in the time of an emergency. BUT I CAN NOT STAND 99% OF MY COWORKERS! Oy!! They are the biggest, most nosey group of back stabbers I've ever met. Luckily the way my job is designed, I can sit here, do my stuff and more or less keep to myself. Thank goodness for that!
I work 12 hour days, so I'm eating lunch and dinner at work. They go get fast food everyday (as we aren't allowed to leave on our lunch breaks, so one or two people take orders and go and get food), and it is hard enough for me to pass that up (especially today when they went to In N Out *drools*). I have been trying desperately this week to get back into the swing of things, I'm on about day 4... I had been eating lean cuisines or what not and gone undetected.
BUT today *sighs*, I made whole wheat spaghetti, peas and ground chicken for today and tomorrow. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers told me about her super strict lose a buncha weight really fast diet a long time ago, that only works if you're super strict... so she says. Her diet wasn't anything special or exhilarating, it was eating 6 times a day, having a protein, good carb and veggies. Okay, um, isn't that kinda how we are supposed to eat anyways? But I never lasted on her super strict crazy diet, and she knew that and after that she left me alone. But today I was caught red handed, with my ground chicken, whole wheat pasta and peas... and she stopped me in my tracks. She said "what do you have there?", I replied "food", she said "hmmmm, it looks like REAAALLLY good diet food, is it?" I said "nooooo it's just food..." This particular coworker and I actually have a decent relationship, so it's not even that. It's just like, why do you even have to ask. It's just food. I hate food police, and I know a lot of things say you should tell people about your weight loss, because support helps or it helps keep you accountable, but I'm sorry... these women are vicious and I don't need them watching what I eat. LOL.
So anyways, I'm just ranting, the scale isn't budging, I'm trying, and people are nosey... that is all LOL ;)
Sunday, January 02, 2011
I just watched it's first episode on MTV.com, and while I did enjoy watching the show, the girl on it lost 90 pounds in 111 days. Insanity!! She was doing intense exercise with a trainer everyday. Just thought it was a bit over the top I guess. She was just 18 years old, but I noticed it seemed the skin on her stomach was able to keep up and go back to where it should be. Just wondered if anyone here had seen the show, and if so what they thought of it.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
On the downside, I don't have some incredible weight loss story. No awesome before and after pictures to show all that I've accomplished. But I do feel that I've learned a lot this year, and I am determined to make 2011 my year!
I've learned that...
*For me to be successful, I need to be on Spark. I need to log my food, there is no way around it for me.
*I need to lose weight for me, on my own terms, and it doesn't matter how anyone else feels about it.
*I need to make myself a priority in my life, and if that means rearranging life so that I can be number 1, then it must be done.
*I can not hide from food (temptation). It will always be around, and it is up to me and only me to make the best of it.
*I feel so much better when I'm exercising regularly, and I need it to become a way of life.
*I will NEVER be happy (body-wise) at an unhealthy weight. I despise getting winded so easily, I hate how my clothes fit, and I hate how sluggish I feel. I will not settle for this unhealthy body I am living in.
I have had a lot of ups and downs in 2010 (as does anyone), and I honestly feel there were more downs than anything. I do wish I handled them better, and had *more to show* for this year.
BUT, this time last year I weighed 272 (my highest weight EVER), and I am currently hovering around 258. While this is no great accomplishment, I know for a fact if I had not found Spark and at least attempted to become healthier throughout the year, I would be much higher than 272. To know I avoided hitting or getting even closer to the 300 pound mark is an accomplishment for me in a roundabout way.
Hopefully next year at this time I will have learned even more and weigh even less! :D
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