Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Giving you new perspective! My awesome Spark Friend Marilyn (AMarilynH) had brought something to my attention. She asked me to take one of my before and after collages, and add a 3rd picture to it. The thing of it is, the 2nd and 3rd pictures are a year apart... but I am pretty much the exact same weight. But she asked me to do it because she said I look a lot smaller... I couldn't really understand how that would be possible, given that they were at the same weight.
So here are the 3 photos...
And here's a bigger version of the 2 photos that are a year apart...
I will say that part of it may be that I was wearing stretchy pants and in the newer ones wearing jeans... but I can actually see quite a difference in my face. My face has definitely slimmed down in the past year. So I weigh about the same, but I can do so much more. I also can't help but say that some of it has to be my loose skin, because I do have that on my tummy for sure... I am also hoping that somewhere along the way I've built some muscle (from all the walking) so just maybe that has helped.
The biggest change of course is the smile and I really feel like I have more confidence now. I am happier than ever and I think that shows through. I also have to say, after Universal last year, my knees were swollen and I was in pain for over a week. This time I am doing multiple trips to places where I am walking 7-10 miles and heading back the very next week to do it again. I could have never done that at this time last year, and for that I am grateful.
The scale is moving back down, and I plan to get to my goals, but big thanks to Marilyn for having me look at things in a new light. Instead of thinking "Gosh, I'm STILL where I was this time last year", I am looking at the positive and the facts that I've come a long way in the last year, even if the scale isn't so sure.
Monday, October 20, 2014
No, no big news, there are no life changing events going on. Nothing super awesome or super bad has happened, so I guess that's a good thing... although super awesome sounds like it could be fun... maybe someday! I was in quite a little rut with my eating, it was like I could have 2 or 3 good days and then have 3 or 4 bad days... I was just feeling so blah. Today is officially 2 years and 7 months on this journey. Through all the ups and downs, I have been here on Spark, and I have never hid any weight gain or struggles. But with all the ups and downs I really had to step back and try to refocus. It is really hard to constantly keep yourself upbeat on this battle. I know life isn't meant to be ALL 's and 's, but sometimes this journey can get boring, tedious and down right hard. I thought after all this time it would be a walk in the park, but some days I feel like it's harder now than it was when I started. That seems so backwards to me... I feel like it should only be easier, but sometimes I feel like it's so daunting and overwhelming.
Okay, so this post has just been me rambling, and it has come off way more negative than I wanted it to. With all of that "doom and gloom" stuff said, I reevaluated things and I have something new going on to get me going again. To get me excited about things... The reason I haven't shared the details is simple: I have posted soooooooo many ideas over the years that haven't quite panned out. I get excited about something, I share it with all of you, I do it for a little bit, then I either decide it isn't for me or not sustainable and I end up quitting. Not only do I feel that personal defeat but I also feel like I come back, embarrassed, with my tail between my legs letting you all know that I am no longer doing what I said I was going to do. I have done that countless times even just in the past few months, and that is why I have been keeping this underwraps. I am so excited about it now, but it has only been a few days and I guess part of me doesn't want to "jinx" myself. So at the very least , I wanted to have 2 solid weeks under my belt before I went ahead with sharing. I will say this, it's not something new or innovative that is going to knock your socks off... it is a very commercialized plan and in itself not that exciting LOL. But I just want to be able to say: "This is what I'm doing, I've been doing it for 2 weeks, and I've lost X pounds so far". Instead of saying "I'm going to TRY this..." and then posting 2 weeks later that I quit on day 3.
But I am still here, happy, enjoying life, having a great time, and I am hoping this is just what I needed to get things going in the right direction.
Here are my latest Knott's Scary Farm pics, proof that I'm out having a blast.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Has someone ever said something to you and you stopped and went "Wow, I never thought of it that way!" I have talked a lot about how we are so much harder on ourselves than we are on others, so it's no surprise some outside perspective can really make us see things in a different light.
When my uncle and I were on the way home from Disneyland we were talking about lots of stuff, weight loss, health related stuff. I told him that I was kind of annoyed with myself, because I weigh about the same as I did at this time last year. But I did say on the flip side of that, I've kept 80ish pounds off, so that is better than gaining some back. That is when he tossed me this little gem...
"Keeping off the weight is the hard part. Anyone can lose weight, but most people can't KEEP the weight off. Even if you had to lose 5 pounds a year for the next few years all while keeping off the rest of the weight, you would be doing awesome!"
Okay okay, now before you have a panic attack, I know that none of us want to lose 5 pounds in a year. Heck, some of us want to lose more than that in a month... but looking at the bigger picture it was a valuable lesson. I feel like this 80 pounds is my shadow... it's following me around just in case I decide I miss it. If I go back to eating like I did before and being a couch potato, that weight would be glad to attach itself to my backside in the blink of an eye. So while I'm working on getting rid of the last 30ish pounds, I am also working on keeping those other 80 pounds far enough behind me that they can't jump on!
With that said, I am really working to lose the last 30 pounds in the next 6 or so months... But I have to remind myself that the bigger picture is keep the weight off. Everyone can be good for a week and lose 2-5 pounds... in fact I often joke I've lost 4,000 pounds, it was just the same 5 pounds a bunch of times! Keeping it off and getting healthier and feeling better is really where the magic happens! So just remember to look at the big picture and be proud of what you've accomplished, no matter how big or small that achievement may feel... because not everyone can do what you are doing, and being here trying to get healthier is an achievement in itself!!
Friday, October 10, 2014
Okay, okay... so since September I've now been to Disneyland 3 times, Knott's Scary Farm once and Universal Hollywood Horror Nights once... I know that no one really cares. Okay, well actually you are all incredibly sweet and supportive people that always give me the KINDEST words... but I guess I can't help but share my joy and excitement, even if it's old news. Every time I have gone to one of these events, I have declared it was "the best day ever"... and to be honest with you, I can't think of very many "best days ever" I had when I was obese. Now don't get me wrong, there were lots of happy times. I am sure there were great and even amazing days... I went to Disneyland 5 years ago, and do you know what I remember? Being tired, achy and getting a blister. Were there fun times at Disneyland that day? There must've been, but the memory 5 years later is of all the bad outweighing the good. They were overshadowed by my weight issue and the physical and mental toll that it took on me.
But with that weight lifted... literally, I have been so free and so comfortable with who I am. I am still overweight? You betcha! But I just got my annual blood work back and I am healthy as a horse! Cholesterol is great, in fact my "good cholesterol" is outstanding which makes my overall ratio great. My A1C and fasting glucose are GREAT and that is important considering diabetes runs in my immediate family. Does that mean I don't want to lose the rest of this unhealthy weight just because I am considered healthy on paper? Not at all. I want to achieve my goals and work on being the best version of myself that I can possibly be! That also means being the happiest I could possibly be!
So here's some photographic evidence of that happiness... and evidence to document the newest Best Day Ever! (Until next Friday when we go back to Knott's Scary Farm!)
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
In an attempt to get this last 30ish pounds off, I started researching various "plans"... I thought what can I do and follow to get the last 30 pounds off? Then I had a light bulb moment. I lost 80+ pounds from calorie counting/portion control and exercise... why should the last 30 pounds be any different? Granted they will be harder to get off, and they might involve cutting calories a little bit more and exercising harder... but I need to just tinker with it, I don't need a huge overhaul!
Not only that, but I am well aware this is a lifestyle change, and my maintenance is going to consist of staying active and continuously monitoring my food intake through portion control and calorie counting. So if that is the path I chose, why in the world would I want to second guess it now?
But what I DO need is a ROUTINE! I've been saying this FOREVER! But I need a routine! So that is where the trial & error comes in! I have created a plan to do for the next 30 days. The great thing is, it's pretty simple. All it consists of is
*How many calories I should aim for
*How much exercise I will be doing (example: cardio video, 20 minutes)
*How much cleaning I should be doing
*Factoring in work or any other things I may be doing that day
I am not going to workout when I walk 9 miles at Disneyland on Thursday... so I need the planned to be customized to my actual days... as not all Thursdays will be the same!
Having the option of doing a cardio video and not locking it down to which one will give me some freedom to do what I want, and decide at the last minute which one sounds fun. I need some structure but also some freedom. The best part is, no matter what happens, I'm going to learn what works and what doesn't work and I can continue to tweak the routine until I find something that I just do. Something that is a part of who I am. I know I can do this, I just need to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk!
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