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A Different Kind of Reflection on 2014...

Thursday, December 25, 2014


At the end of 2012 and 2013, I sat down and looked at all I had accomplished during the year in terms of weight loss. (I have lost a total of about 80 pounds since starting my journey, and kept it off). I figured out how much weight I lost that year, how well I was doing, maybe even how many miles I walked. But as everyone knows, 2014 has not been the greatest year for me in weight loss. Just for the record to reflect... I weighed 198 on Janaury 8, 2013 and December 24, 2014 I weighed 195.8. In the grand scheme of things, I guess that means I pretty much maintained my weight... the reason I am so frustrated with that number is I was as low as 181, gained some, then got back down to 184, then blew it all away and got way back up again. I am on the downswing again, and that is great, but when I look at what I "could have" accomplished in 2014, it can be a little saddening.

But the thing is, I am still here. March 20, 2015 will be 3 years on my weight loss journey, and I look forward to celebrating that milestone. Has that entire amount of time been dedicated to weight loss? Nope, if it had been my focus most of the time I'd be at goal by now. But I never once quit, I never once hid from Spark, and I was always accountable for any gains. In the past I would have hid until the scale got back down, but not on this journey. This journey is the real deal, with ups and downs and twists and turns... and I am sticking around through it all.

So instead of measuring my success or failure of 2014 in the pounds I failed to lose, I'm measuring 2014 in experiences! I have gone more places in 2014 than in the last 5 years combined!

I have...
emoticon Been to the Zoo 6 times... walking 4-6 miles each time.
emoticon I have been to Disneyland 7 times since getting my pass in September... walking on average 10 miles each time!
emoticon I went to Knott's Scary Farm 3 times and had a blast!
emoticon I went to Hollywood Horror Nights at Universal Studios!
emoticon I went to Medieval Times! (excuse the emoticon, slim pickings!)
emoticon Went to a Luke Bryan concert ALL ALONE. That was huge for me to go somewhere alone, and he was so dreamy!
emoticon I traveled to Florida, across the country, all alone. Another milestone for me to show that I am capable of doing so much, even if it is alone!

There is so much to be said about doing these things. It's not just that I was out having fun and living life, but that I was physically ABLE to do these things. Could I have gone to all these places 80 pounds heavier? I could, but there would have been limitations. I would not have fit into some of the rides, I would not have been able to do or see as much because I wouldn't have been able to walk as far. It would have been less enjoyable because I would have been huffing and puffing and hurting trying to walk around Disneyland. It would have been mentally exhausting wondering if people were mocking me because of my weight. I wouldn't have taken many photos or despised all the ones that were taken. But that person is gone... the girl in 2014 never once worried if someone was looking at her funny for being overweight, she was never huffing and puffing or despising her photos. Yes I am guilty of commenting here or there on an extra chin or puffy tummy, but it has not prevented me from sharing the photos and looking at how far I've come overall.

The fact that I could go to a crowded concert ALONE and not feel judged of self conscious was amazing, as was traveling across the country for the first time alone. I truly feel unstoppable in life, and now as we get ready for 2015, I am going to apply that feeling to my weight loss again.

I have shared with you all SO many different plans I've wanted to try, and none of them have panned out the way I wanted them to. I also come back with my tail between my legs to tell you that I quit. I wasn't going to share my plan that I will start this Friday, but I wanted the accountability. Plus I know this is a safe place and no one will judge me if I don't complete it. But I am really ready for this and I am going to give it my all and do my best to complete this plan!


My hope is to form some really great habits and to permanently eliminate a lot of sources of sugar. I am starting with that Friday and then the plan is to start a new workout regimen on January 5th. That doesn't mean I'll be sitting on my butt until then, daily walking will always be important for Sparky and myself... but the initial part of this detox is going to be a shock to my system, so I have to get past that "icky" part before I add in new exercise.

I am famous for planning and then not DOING. I really hope this time it is different, and that I do what I am setting out to do. The plan will work out well for me, or it won't, and if it doesn't I will move on to the next thing. Regardless of ANY plan I may try to do, I am always tracking my food and counting my calories. That is me and what works for me, so if something happens and I can no longer stick with this, I will simply go back to calorie counting. I always have a back up plan for the back up plan. ;)

I don't want to jinx myself, I can't say exactly what 2015 has in store for me... my hopes are that I hit my goal weight, learn to maintain, and have my tummy fixed in October 2015. Those are my hopes, and time will tell if that happens.

What I do know will happen is:
I am doing BLC 27 that starts mid January, and I am going to have a great round!
I will be frequenting Disneyland and the Zoo a lot and continuing to rack up the miles.
I am going to be happy and continue to take joy in the little things.

Speaking of little things my friend/coworker gave me the BEST Christmas present yesterday. We use lunchboxes to put our headsets in at work (I'm a dispatcher) and she got me this custom lunchbox. The best part is the picture inserts come out and you can buy more. So cool!



I hope everyone has an amazing Christmas (if you celebrate) and a fantastic New Year! emoticon


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSAN-FIT-N-FAB 12/26/2014 2:48PM

    emoticon on a year filled with experiences and fun times! Here's to a fabulous 2015!

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JERICHO1991 12/26/2014 1:17PM

    You have lots of 2014 victories to celebrate. Congratulations!

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WHIPPETWALKER 12/26/2014 12:54PM

  You never gave up. You never surrendered. You kept on working it. That's courage! Cheers!!!!!

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TINY67 12/26/2014 11:21AM

    emoticon emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 12/26/2014 11:16AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHIER-VICKI 12/26/2014 9:16AM

    You can do whatever you set your mind to do. emoticon emoticon

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TRYINGHARD54 12/26/2014 8:59AM

    keep up the good work... :-)

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MARYBETH4884 12/26/2014 8:26AM

    This was your year of the NSVs!!! Don't discount the importance of those victories! Good luck with your plans in the New Year! Remember we'll be here rooting you on!!! emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 12/26/2014 8:12AM

  I am back exactly where I was at the start of this year. Bummer. I could say the year was wasted but I'll say, instead, I maintained!

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TIMEHASCOME56 12/26/2014 7:32AM

    emoticon

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PENOWOK 12/26/2014 7:26AM

    You are in so much better shape that January 2013, Steph!! You really know how to burn those calories! I think you are doing a fantastic job! I tried to but "The Sugar Smart" diet twice from Amazon but the book never arrived either time, so I got refunds. Your book looks pretty good. I may try again. I did get "The Weight of Grace" book and will have to see if it's a fit for me. You and I...we're in the right place!

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KLMEIRING 12/26/2014 7:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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STEPBYSTEP1955 12/26/2014 6:46AM

    emoticon emoticon for sharing

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THROOPER62 12/26/2014 6:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 12/26/2014 6:03AM

    proud of you love.keep on keeping on.i wrote or thought something similar in the blog i posted about an hour ago on a NSV.like you i think NSV are the best emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 12/26/2014 4:58AM

  emoticon

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CLAIREINPARIS 12/26/2014 3:43AM

    Indeed, losing weight isn't all there is to this journey! You are enjoying life so much more now, and that is huge! Merry Christmas!

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ARTJAC 12/26/2014 12:44AM

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SUGAR0814 12/26/2014 12:12AM

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WORKNPROGRESS49 12/25/2014 9:58PM

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ICECUB 12/25/2014 8:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 12/25/2014 8:23PM

    emoticon

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SUBMOM2 12/25/2014 5:37PM

    Good for you for sticking with this. We can all get caught up in the could-haves and should-haves, but that's a waste of time and energy. Looking forward is the way to go! I hope the sugar detox goes well! Merry Christmas and best wishes for a healthy, happy 2015!!

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IDICEM 12/25/2014 5:02PM

  You've had a lot of accomplishments this year. 2015 will be even better!

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JCMSMILE 12/25/2014 4:11PM

    You are so AWESOME!! Thank you for always being real, ups & downs. I've thought about the "21 Day Sugar Detox" as well, so I hope goes swimmingly for you & gets you where you want to be . As Mr Grace always said on "Are You Being Served?" (70's British comedy) : " you've done very well"!!

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WOOFERCOALBOY 12/25/2014 3:44PM

    Just the fact that you're still here is commendable.

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SLIMLEAF 12/25/2014 3:15PM

    It's Christmas Day and you've already made a definite plan and set yourself goals - dedicated or what?!! Well done, Steph!

Best wishes in the next stage of your weight-loss and healthy living journey.

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LOSINGIT26104 12/25/2014 2:17PM

    What a wonderful, uplifting blog once again, Steph. You always give us such an honest account of where you are at any given time. Good luck on Day 1 on Friday. You can do it just like everything else you put your mind to.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4RASCALS 12/25/2014 12:53PM

    You have lots to be proud about & I'm sure 2015 will be your best ever.

Merry Christmas & Healthy Happy New Year


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ZELLAZM 12/25/2014 12:40PM

    Your "NSVs" are awesome!

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AGINGFATTY 12/25/2014 11:58AM

    You are such an inspiration. Thank you for this blog and your honesty. It makes me want to get out and experience what the state of Tennessee has to offer. Good luck on the sugar detox. If you stick to it, you will eventually not crave it at all. Fruit is a great substitute.

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VEG954 12/25/2014 11:36AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon
You ARE a success story!

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CHICAT63 12/25/2014 11:00AM

    Love this blog and you my friend. You listed wonderful things that you have accomplished. Only look forward and not back, you can and will do this. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/25/2014 9:53AM

    Awesome! You SHOULD focus on all you've done this year. It's awesome. LOVE the lunchbox! How did I know a Disney picture would be on it! LOLOL

A joyous Christmas! See you tomorrow. Off to IL to be w/ my parents.

. . . . .. (. . . .
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.. . . ..|. .|. . . . . . . (
.. . . ..|. .|. . . . . . .(,)
.. . . ..|. .|. . . .. .. .-ﺜ-.
.. . . ..|. .|. . . . . ..|. .|
.. . . ..|. .|. . . . . ..|. .|
.. . . . [♫ ♫] . . . . .[♫ ♫] Have a blessed day!
(`..*.. ✿ ..*..) ((((hugs)))))

Merry Christmas


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HOLLYM48 12/25/2014 9:37AM

    I think you are simply amazing and just because you are close to the same number on the scale from the beginning to the end, just remember that it is truly only a number and that number does not define you.
The fact that you have done so much, gone to so many fun and wonderful places, really came out of your shell, these are so much more important than a number.
You will get to where you need to be eventually but life is not a race and you are enjoying the ride and that is really key to this whole weight loss thing.
Make 2015 the best year ever and if you lose or maintain the same weight, you are still ahead of the game because you are living your life as you should.
Have a great day and good luck with your new plan!
All the best to you.

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BBEAGAN 12/25/2014 9:34AM

    Wonderful celebration of major victories!

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BARBARAJ73 12/25/2014 8:29AM

    What an amazing array of adventures you've had this year... emoticon you are living joyfully emoticon and you keep going emoticon Hope you have an equally emoticon amazing 2015!

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ADARKARA 12/25/2014 7:57AM

    What a great present! And Sparky is soooo cute!!!!

I love that you recognized these goals. This is something I'm going to need to do in the upcoming year to keep myself on track. I think part of my problem this fall is that I don't have a set goal for weight anymore, so I need a new goal or two to keep me chipper!

And if you ever want to come out to Philly by yourself, you'll have a place to stay and someone to cook you delicious, healthy food! (Seriously, the door is open!)

Merry Christmas!

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JAZZII4 12/25/2014 6:19AM

    You have built a lot of self-confidence, this year. Good for you! May 2015, give you even more blessings! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SWEDE_SU 12/25/2014 5:25AM

    those are wonderful victories and accomplishments - you have come so far. you have a great plan for moving forward, and your spark friends will be here to cheer you on. if it works, great, and if not, you have a back up plan. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WEARINGTHIN 12/25/2014 4:32AM

    Now the thing to do is to just "Do It." When I was a in my late teens and early twenties, I would often go to my aunt and uncle's house and I would end up talking about what I wanted to do. They started to tell me, Don't talk about it. Do It!" This was before Nike came along and stole the "Do It" phrase. Somehow, somewhere along the line, I learned how to make things happen in my life, and there were a lot of things accomplished. So I say to you, "DO IT!" Glenn

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B-LYNN1ST 12/25/2014 3:17AM

    I love this blog. Now that's a way to celebrate your victories. It's not about the weight, it's about the "mental" weight we release, and you have released so much. I think you lost 25 pounds and gave yourself many reasons for loving and becoming MORE you instead of LESS. Thank you! I have to say thank you friend, because when people like you "share" the blessing in their lessons you bless another person to go forward with their plans. Rocky or Smooth...It's a lesson in our journey and we must "walk" it not "run" it but walk it to figure us out. Congrats!
emoticon

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Do You Run Towards The Good Or Away From The Bad?

Monday, December 22, 2014


So I was watching an awesome vlog from my girl Susan (IMSOOZEEQ) www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836195
... and she has a way of really making me think. I am much in the same boat as her, trying to figure out where to go from here... and how I want to go about it.

The thing that she said in this video that really got me thinking was this: What motivated her to lose the weight in 2012, may not be the same things that motivate her now.

She said it way better than I just did, but you get the drift. It reminded me of one of the many weight loss books I have read over the years. Again, I can't say it as well as the author, and I can't find it now... but they essentially said there are 2 kinds of motivation. The motivation to get away from something bad, or the motivation to go towards something good. Now in reality, we all want to get away from all the negatives of being overweight, and go towards all the perks of being a healthy size... but one motivation is stronger than the other.

When I thought about this, I realized I was always the person that wanted to get away from the bad. When I started this in 2012, I wanted to get rid of all the negatives that came from being obese. Including but not limited to:
Being unhealthy.
Having mobility issues (turning over in bed, going up the stairs, etc.)
Anxiety from social situations and people making fun of me and my weight.
Being a homebody and being afraid to "live life".
Being sad and feeling bad about myself.
Knee pain, back pain, etc.

Those were all things I wanted to get AWAY from. Now granted, getting away from those meant coming into happier territory, but at the time I couldn't see that far ahead. I just knew what I needed to get away from those things.

At this point in my journey I have conquered those things... because..

I am healthy (on paper), although still overweight.
I no longer care if anyone is being negative towards me, they aren't worth my time.
I have self confidence and I am very happy.
I can go upstairs with ease and walk 10 miles at Disneyland.
I am getting out of the house often and enjoying life.

So those things I was running away from are no longer an issue for me. So going back to what Susan was talking about, she said what motivated me BACK THEN may not be what does it for me now. I no longer have that desperation to stop feeling bad, because I mostly feel good. I say mostly because being in a funk and eating junk I surely don't feel good, but most of the time. emoticon

So that is what is missing... I need to focus now on where I am going. I can't forget about where I've come from and what I've learned, that is important... but I need to look forward to where I am going. So things I want to work towards and my new motivation if you will:
To get to 100 pounds lost.
Getting to my goal weight (whatever # that may be LOL)
Continuing to be healthy.
To REALLY do strength training and grow stronger.
To continue working on my insides and recognize how much I am changing both mentally and physically.
To get a tummy tuck (huge motivator for me).
To (maybe) wind up in a size 10-12 (just a number and not of high importance, but fun to think about).
To be that healthy person on that outside that I feel like I am (usually) on the inside.

There is light at the end of this tunnel. Doom and gloom is behind me, but if I allow myself to continue to slip I will be heading back towards those things I tried so desperately to get away from. So instead I'm going to look forward towards the emoticon and happier times, which just so happens to mean a lower weight as well. emoticon

emoticon I'd love to know what motivates all of you! Are you trying to get away from the negative/not-so-good or move towards the awesome stuff? If you have been on this journey for a while, has your motivation changed?


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYSYOKO 12/26/2014 11:40AM

  I honestly have not lost much weight but am soooo much healthier, toner, stronger. got rid of 3 prescriptions and work out every day doing something. when I first started zumba could barely complete 30 minutes now do hour classes
I just want to be able to still move in my 80's that's what motivates me emoticon

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DEEGIRL50 12/26/2014 9:59AM

    I was just sitting here thinking about New Years Resolutions and goals and dreams. I like your list. You've helped motivate me today. Thank you.
Dee emoticon

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WRITERWANNAB 12/26/2014 12:38AM

    emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/25/2014 5:58PM

    great blog! What motivates me is feeling my best, having energy and managing stress. I also love the feeling of accomplishment that comes from keeping an exercise streak going. A day with exercise is a good day. Keep up the great work!

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TIMEHASCOME56 12/25/2014 12:31PM

    emoticon

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VAINVT 12/25/2014 7:54AM

  You are on a wonderful part of your journey. Your mind and body have great things in store for you as you continue your weight loss, healthy eating, and strengthened body. Get ready for a fun ride!

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CHERYLHURT 12/25/2014 7:48AM

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EMMACORY 12/25/2014 7:48AM

    Great reflection and much food for thought. Thank you! Blessings on your day! emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/25/2014 7:08AM

    Well done - Keep pushing! emoticon

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JSTETSER 12/25/2014 6:16AM

    I have been there!

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PHILLIPS661 12/25/2014 12:06AM

    nice thoughts...merry xmas..happy new yr....rico emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 12/24/2014 9:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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1DAY-ATA-TIME 12/24/2014 5:36PM

    You said it!!! Well done, thanks

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ARAZA30 12/24/2014 3:26PM

    Great job! Stick to your own plan that works. Keep it up!

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AJB121299 12/24/2014 3:16PM

    a little of both

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MELLO63 12/24/2014 1:53PM

    I've lost about 25 pounds before I started on SP, and now I have about 7 more to lose - but my motivation is lessening. My workouts at the gym haven't been as frequent during the holiday season. I'm hoping I'll get back to being more serious about my fitness and health as a lifetime journey because I want to stay strong. Thanks, Steph, for the food for thought... emoticon

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 12/24/2014 1:48PM

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CAROLYNSUE17 12/24/2014 1:26PM

    I loved your blog, as I am 65, I am walking at Walt Disney World and Sea World here in Florida. I am only able to walk 3-4 miles at the parks but happy with that and all the fun rides and great animals at Sea World.

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JEANADOLL77 12/24/2014 12:34PM

    emoticon

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GYPSYHEART 12/24/2014 12:10PM

    Studies have shown that people do more to keep what they have than to gain what they do not have. It's called the fear of loss. So you have got me thinking on how to apply this to our weight loss journeys:

At the beginning we have nothing to "keep", nothing to fear "loosing", no benefits. After loosing a few pounds, however, we need to "keep" the benefits of the weight loss. This is what we should use as our motivation to continue loosing: being healthier, the smaller sized clothes, the increased energy etc. . We want to "keep" these. We don't want to "loose" these benefits.

The desire of "gain" : smaller clothes, lower number on the scale, anything down the road, is not as strong of a motivator as the desire to not loose the benefits already achieved.

So based on psychology we need to rethink our motivation to continue on our journey on the fear of loosing a benefit we already have, rather than on gaining a benefit not yet within our reach.

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ZELLAZM 12/24/2014 12:03PM

    Good thoughts, Steph...me, too, reevaluating my motivation. No "resolutions" as such for me, but the beginning of the New Year is a good time to reflect on these things. Thanks for putting this out there for us - it's an encouragement to so many as you can tell by the comments!
emoticon

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TZVI-R 12/24/2014 10:01AM

  Thanks...

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REBESANCON 12/24/2014 9:56AM

    As always, well said, and thank you!

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/24/2014 9:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAREN_BLUEJEANS 12/24/2014 7:48AM

    The first part of your blog could have been my words exactly. I had strong away-from motivation back in 2010, that I was desperate to lose weight. Even though I'm proud of having kept the weight off, I can't seem to motivate myself to continue to lose weight. The fire is out. Well, the desperation. My toward motivation isn't as compelling. And I've lost self-confidence. I hate to say I"m going to try again in 2015, because I know new years resolutions don't last more than a week or 2.

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1HOTFUDGEMAMA 12/24/2014 7:35AM

  Well said

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JUNETTA2002 12/24/2014 6:57AM

    emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 12/24/2014 4:43AM

    emoticon

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JSEATTLE 12/24/2014 1:54AM

  What motivates me is seeing my 85yr old Mom and 94yr old aunt age. I know what I need to do to keep it going because we live a long time in my family.

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BLUEJEAN99 12/24/2014 1:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 12/24/2014 12:50AM

    My health was my motivation at the beginning and is still my motivation. Great blog!

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LIVELYGIRL2 12/24/2014 12:16AM

  the big thing is to feel good and to stay healthy. I see so many when they get a certain age decline. Usually it's inactivity and eating whatever they want.

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HMBROWN1 12/23/2014 10:05PM

    How true! Your goals and motivation change over time. Best wishes and Merry Christmas!

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MARITIMER3 12/23/2014 9:25PM

    Interesting, Stephanie. I need some time to think this over

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JERICHO1991 12/23/2014 8:38PM

    I want to move towards better eating habits and healthier living.

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JIBBIE49 12/23/2014 8:05PM

    Merry Christmas emoticon

I have to agree with Dr. Phil that we are fat because we want to be. There is a "pay-off" in it for us, otherwise we'd change and avoid the pain it causes us. As Susan Jeffers PhD says "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

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NONNAOF2 12/23/2014 5:12PM

  You have a great mental outlook on things and I foresee 2015 being a really good year for you on your journey! :-)

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PEGGYO 12/23/2014 4:55PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 12/23/2014 1:11PM

    You have found a great motivation!! Going TOWARD what you want!!! You'll make it!!

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SUEARNOLD1 12/23/2014 11:37AM

    Steph you have so much insight.

Thanks for encouraging us to re-evaluate our motives.

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BOB5148 12/23/2014 11:33AM

  emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 12/23/2014 10:50AM

  emoticon I am definitely a mixture of both. I am running away from the bad and in many cases running toward the good. emoticon

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NEPTUNE1939 12/23/2014 10:39AM

    emoticon

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MCELLO58 12/23/2014 10:22AM

    Wonderful blog! I never thought about it in that way. I'm going to have to rethink why I'm doing this because things have changed. emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 12/23/2014 10:11AM

    emoticon

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PHHHISC 12/23/2014 9:57AM

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IDICEM 12/23/2014 9:29AM

  My overall motivation is to stay healthy as long as possible, and I motivate myself periodically with new challenges. Keep it up!

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TRUCKER72 12/23/2014 9:07AM

    thank you

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PENOWOK 12/23/2014 8:26AM

    Excellent blog!! You (and Susan and that book) have lots of us thinking and rethinking. Motivation? I can't afford new clothes if I put the weight back on! I lost 40 and have regained about 12. Gotta work on that!!

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PATTYKLAVER 12/23/2014 8:01AM

    You have reminded me again that I need to re-evaluate my desires to lose weight and get healthier. Sounds like a New Year's Resolution to me.

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I'm Caught In A Trap...

Friday, December 19, 2014



Or can I? I feel like I'm stuck in the Pit Of Despair... and that I've been there so long that I'm thinking about redecorating. emoticon That is definitely not the right attitude, I should be planning my escape, not deciding which blinds would brighten the place up... it's the pit of despair, nothing can make it pretty. emoticon It's amazing how things can snowball out of control, and get away from you so quickly.

I know in the last week, I have been sick (I've been exceptionally whiny about it too LOL), and then as of yesterday my poor dog Sparky started limping. I am watching him again today and trying to discourage him from jumping and going up and down the stairs but he doesn't listen. My mom says to give it another day or 2 and then I'm probably going to have to take him to the vet. He hates strangers so that is going to be pretty bad lol. So I am worrying about that... so it's been a crummy week... so what?

That doesn't give me a license to eat, it doesn't give me a license to stop caring about what is important to me. Even if I don't feel that way this week, or frankly the last month and a half, weight loss and becoming healthier is something that is typically a priority for me.

I think part of it is just a funk. Ask anyone who has been in the weight loss game for a long time (I'll hit the 3 year mark in March) and boy can you get burnt out. Especially when you take into account that this is a lifestyle change that doesn't end. I know it shouldn't feel like work, and maybe one day I will be in that happy place where it is just "who I am" and it doesn't take much thought for me to keep up with it... but that hasn't happened yet. 3 years is a long time but you know what else is a long time? Almost 26 years of being a fast food eating couch potato. Those habits are still ingrained in me, and the more healthy habits I made, the less and less I resorted to those old habits. But they are still there and they come back with a vengeance when I least expect it.

I know what to do, I know how to do it, I've done it... so what's the problem? That is what I am working on to get to the bottom of it. I can sit here all day long and talk about what I need to do, but until I actually do it I'm not getting anywhere. I wish planning burnt calories, if it did I'd be a size 2. emoticon

I was reminiscing with a good friend, and I figured out part of this funk has to do with burnout and missing that shiny/new feeling. 2012 was the year I started this and it was a great year, I believe it was the 1st year in which I lost the most weight, and everything was so exciting. That feeling is long gone and it is really hard to find that excitement again. So even though nothing will ever feel like that very 1st year, I am going to do my best to sprinkle some fairy dust on 2015 and hope that it can at least have a sparkly feel to it, even if it isn't a new one.

I'm caught in a trap, but I can start climbing out little by little. You have to crawl before you walk, walk before you run (Okay time out, I NEVER run... unless I'm chasing Pluto across Main St. ;), you catch my drift.

So with that said no more nonsense, I'm going to start crawling now, and hope to be up to a brisk walk soon. These are the action steps I have in mind, no more talking the talk, it's time to start walking the walk!

Step 1: No more fast food/candy/soda
emoticon I know you mean well, but don't lecture me on this one... I don't need to hear "You can make healthy choices while eating fast food" or "it's better to have one piece of candy or else you will think about it all the time or crave it" and that "giving these things up will only make me want it more". I am all about things in moderation, but I am here to tell you I will NOT eat one or two pieces of candy, I will eat 10 and then look for a donut. I will not eat a salad, I will eat a double cheeseburger and fries and something else.... and I will polish off a 2 liter in 2 days. So for me, eliminating these things and learning to live without them, at least for now is very important and that is why it's my 1st step.

Step 2: Tracking everything! I used to be a champion tracker but I've gotten lazy and I've also been in denial, I didn't want to see the damage I was doing. Well that jig is up because I am seeing the damage in my weight gain, so enough is enough.

Step 3: Stop looking for a better way! Every time I get in a funk, I start to google various diets, programs etc. I know good and well there is only one way to do this, calorie counting/restriction and exercise, but I am always convinced there is something better that is hiding. I feel this way when I am in a funk and I need to let it go. My way works, I just need to do my way. The best plan is one you can stick with!

Step 4: Get back to walking daily. My fitbit is having an issue where it won't sync, but a replacement is on it's way (thanks fitbit)... Hopefully my Sparky and I will both be healthy soon and can get back to our walks. I know he misses them terribly.

Step 5: Start building back up my confidence. The past month and a half has been bad, and 272 pound Stephanie is in the corner giggling saying "I knew you'd never be able to keep this weight off", I can't let her win and I have to prove her wrong. Each healthy day that goes by I will remember that I can do this... and do this I will!

I have bigger and more structured plans, but that is for the brisk walk phase. So right now I will focus on crawling out of this hideous pit, and getting back out into the world with the happy, healthy people! emoticon



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPINNER86 12/23/2014 3:03PM

  You can give your dog baby or regular buffered aspirin. Google dog and aspirin to find out how much depending on their weight. I use it all the time for my beagle mix. Good luck.

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 12/23/2014 2:52PM

  emoticon

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LISAN0415 12/23/2014 1:19AM

    No lecture here! I TOTALLY AGREE with you on number 1:

Here's the thing... as I get closer to my goal weight/ideal body weight...
it gets tricke to lose and maintain weight loss.. I know when I was 35 lbs heavier I lost weight just by eating under 1600 calories didn't matter what it was, but now if I eat a lot of sugar, even if I am only at 1200-1400 calories, my weight doesn't change.
Yes, everyone is different, but I think for many people Sugar, fried foods and things tend to cause our body to hold onto fat- especially in our midsection. I have noticed that since I gave up diet soda entirely and cut way back onmy sugar intake, that my abdomen is getting smaller... even when I don't see much movement in the scale.

I wish you all the best- you really are doing great! CAn you imagine if you could show pictures to yourself of the improvements you made to yourself before you began your journey! I think that all the time.

Lisa

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NVRSTOPLAUGHIN 12/22/2014 9:19PM

    i'm all about 2015 fairy dust....i feel like you and i are in the same pit!!! i've started crawling out this past month in preparation of the new year and a lot of important mindful goals!! it is not easy.....but nothing worth it is ever easy!!

We can crawl out together!! keep up the good efforts!!!

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SIMONEKP 12/22/2014 1:02PM

    Strong advocate of giving up things that I lose control with, only you know what's best for you.

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1DAY-ATA-TIME 12/22/2014 1:00PM

    Keep pushing, don't stop. Quitting is easy, I've done it hundreds of times in my life. but to put forth a good fight and win is on of the greatest feelings in the world.

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JEANADOLL77 12/22/2014 11:51AM

    emoticon

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GINGKO711 12/22/2014 2:14AM

    Winter is so difficult to get motivated enough to stick with a program!!

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SUEARNOLD1 12/21/2014 11:41PM

    Steph - - - - you know what to do so . . . . .DO IT!

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because . . . .

You are emoticon and emoticon

Have a very Merry Christmas! emoticon

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1STBUCKETITEM 12/21/2014 10:46PM

  As always, you are staying true to yourself. You know your limitations, you know your boundaries, you know your plan. Just do it! emoticon
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SEMAPHORE20 12/21/2014 9:25PM

    I love your honesty and your plan. Great job and I'm rooting for your success.
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REBESANCON 12/21/2014 7:02PM

    Love your honest, heart-felt blogs! When you DO make it to that "happy place where it is just 'who I am' and it doesn't take much thought for me to keep up with it," please post directions and a map, and I will meet you there LOL! emoticon

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 12/21/2014 6:37PM

    I know what you are talking about. I've been feeling it too. It's hard to break that vicious cycle, it's part of who you are. You take it one step at a time. Crawl before walking. Walk daily is my priority with my dog. Logging food into sp is another

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DAWNDMOORE40 12/21/2014 6:11PM

    emoticon It is a change that is forever, and there will be days where we feel like we can't exercise or we don't want to track our food, but then once we do it, we feel better! I have been on this ride for 5 years and it's been the best 5 years of my life! I feel stronger and able to do more things with my husband, my Son and my Grandchildren! There are many reasons why we can give up and not do it, but there are so many more wonderful reasons why we can! God bless you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1HOTFUDGEMAMA 12/21/2014 4:58PM

  Don't give up!

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KAWANEE 12/21/2014 3:21PM

    So many have been in your place and have struggled (and I failed in my own past experience. I kept off 117 pounds for around 3 years and spiraled out of control one Christmas as someone gave me a large tin of homemade chocolate candies and I decided just this one day I will eat all I want and go back to my regular diet the next day (which never came)...I was hooked by my cravings. I have found that if you do the thing you shouldn't do, it becomes easier and easier... and I proceeded to gain all 117 pounds back plus 15 pounds
Nine years have past but In the last 6 months I have lost 60 pounds and continue onward another 60 pounds. I am looking to others for inspiration as to how to keep this weight off for good.) I am praying for you (and all) who struggle to maintain the weight loss. The more we do the right things the easier they become to do, and the more we do the wrong things the easier they become to do.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey Steph-Knee....you are helping so many of us! Sending Love and Prayers emoticon

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HEATHERGOUGH23 12/21/2014 2:06PM

    I feel the exact same way. I don't want to track but I force myself. I've only went over calories once but that's by some miracle I don't even understand. The thought of working out makes me sigh. I'm only 10 minutes a day lately. It'll get better

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MOMMY445 12/21/2014 1:52PM

    i'm rooting for you,too!

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OPHELIE 12/21/2014 1:31PM

    You have got a great plan!!!

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DINAOREILLY 12/21/2014 12:08PM

    Gosh that could me you were writing about. I am I such a funk and feeling so lost and abandoned. Hope seems to be sorely absent. Thank you for your honesty and candor. Hugs.

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GYPSYHEART 12/21/2014 11:54AM

    Lots of great replies ad suggestions. Changing up your exercise program is crucial. Your body gets used to certain ways of working and plateaus. How about going to youtube and searching for different exercise routines? I've found lots of Zumba Gold for seniors videos (the ones for Seniors are great for beginning exercisers too) I started doing only 3 minutes every 3rd day due to being sore 48 hours later. That's right, sore from only 3 minutes of moving my body. LOL!

How about bike riding. I am semi-handicapped and found a bike made with a very low step through so I can get my bad leg and hip through it. I've ridden it an entire 1/4 mile 3 times so far. That's right, only 1/4 mile. My goal is 5 miles by July.

So...if I had to start at only 3 minutes of aerobics and 1/4 mile of bike riding you can start small too with a different exercise besides walking. Oh BTW I am now doing 20 minutes of exercise every 2 to 3 days....up from the 3 minutes.

The recent winner of DWTS Alphonso Ribiera (sp?) did a dance on "Fresh Prince of Belaire" named for his character," The Carlton". I've found several versions of this on Youtube too. I'm doing a little bit of this dance every few days as my exercise. It totally cracks me up and makes the exercise fun. Look for something that is fun.....you too may be doing "The Carlton" soon. emoticon

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WHITNEYLD 12/21/2014 11:25AM

    i am the same way. Currently on my death bed from flu and bronchitis and just ate my first real meal last night and it was not healthy! You can do it

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CAROLYNSUE17 12/21/2014 11:06AM

    I am with you, once I have something off plan I am in a freefall and binge. I am just doing this, not perfectly but with an honest heart.

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RACHELMC80 12/21/2014 11:05AM

    Hugs! You can do it!

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SHARONSIZE8 12/21/2014 10:46AM

    Ugh! You sound just like me! I could have written this myself. I added you a s a friend so we can encourage each other. emoticon

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TRIM180 12/21/2014 9:50AM

    emoticon I have tried both ways and elimination works for me. Mind over matter. It took time but will power begins at the grocery store. I walk around with a bag a Cheetos in my cart and just before check-out switch to carrot sticks and feel proud! Yes, I put the bag of Cheetos back in the right place and not throw it on top the produce. I consider this exercise. Many tricks to the trade of losing weight...your 5 steps are very creative! You have done it once and can do it again!

Comment edited on: 12/21/2014 9:54:10 AM

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HUGS2015 12/21/2014 8:41AM

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MADLILA 12/21/2014 8:24AM

    emoticon

emoticon

Been there, have tshirt, water bottle , and the hat! And I still visit there too often myself.

Try a totally different fitness activity. I walk, but when the blues hit, changing up helps. Go play frisbee with a 10 yr old a few minutes, take a free yoga class, something out of your normal comfort zone. Simple yoga is now in my comfort zone, it helps me keep the blues away!

Hugs!

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CROD1211 12/21/2014 8:12AM

  Im going through the same trap and feel i cant get out, but I can and so can you!!! We just have to remember what we want and what it takes to get there, but our 'no bs' shades on, and sweat our way to skinny. Good luck, you got this!!!

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ICEWYNDE 12/21/2014 8:05AM

    Stephanie,
Don't hate yourself for what you are, love yourself for what you can become. I know that you will be AWESOME!
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ARAZA30 12/21/2014 8:03AM

    It's never gets easy. You want results, you have to work for it. Do what you need to do to succeed. Goodluck on your journey. It will be worth it.

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AMYG5025 12/21/2014 7:56AM

    it sounds like you have some really good insights into yourself and what works for you. It is hard to do the right thing even with that knowledge though! Hang in there and just take things one step at a time!

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LLIESE 12/21/2014 7:55AM

    emoticon You speak for so many of us about the awful downward spiral of the sugar/salt junk food! You CAN get on the right track again!

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HEALTHY42MORROW 12/21/2014 7:25AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 12/21/2014 5:10AM

  Your determination will get you there in the end. emoticon

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ALIIDA 12/21/2014 3:25AM

    I'm sure you have the right attitude to get out of your funk. I bet a lot of us are or have been in the same place. I am now. One tactic I'm trying to use is telling myself, "Yes, it's boring and hard work, but a lot of life is like that. The rewards will come."

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WONDERWISH1 12/21/2014 2:45AM

    I feel the same. 2011/first of '12 was the best for me too weight wise. I also feel eliminating junk food works best. I went years without soda for example and never craved it. Just as if it didn't exist...

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BLUEJEAN99 12/21/2014 1:50AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MALAMI518 12/21/2014 12:28AM

    Someone posted a photo on Facebook the other day that said, "I'm really sick and tired of food having calories." I think that about sums it up sometimes. It's hard work always making the right choices (or even making the wrong ones...just being aware of the choices). It's hard work to say no when you want to say yes. It's hard work to get started on exercise. It's just so hard sometimes. It's also overwhelming to realize that this is life. Forever. It's all too easy to allow yourself to disconnect from the choices and to separate cause and effect in your head. Sometimes you just need some time off, but then you're eventually forced to realize that time off = weight gain. There is no way around it. I get it. I really do.

I like that your plan is to start off slowly and consistently instead of plunging headfirst into something completely different. I love that you are trusting yourself and what you know works for you. It can be so hard to get started again, but I know that you can do it! And that momentum will build.

I'm right here behind you if you need anything! I know that you can do this!

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JSEATTLE 12/20/2014 11:48PM

  You said it all. You know what to do and what works for you. And you know to NEVER GIVE UP!

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ROCKYCPA 12/20/2014 10:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PENOWOK 12/20/2014 10:32PM

    I'm with you...if I have 1 piece of candy (or cookie, etc.) it'd be 10. I've been trying to be satisfied with trail mix...not a good mix for me with the m&m's. So that's not working. My best bet is to say just say NO! Not today. It makes a difference! So there you have it! We are all in this together!

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NONNAOF2 12/20/2014 10:17PM

  Once you get that ball rolling at full speed ahead, the enthusiasm will kick in for you!! You have a great plan ahead of you! Keep up the positive side of becoming healthy!! You can do it!! :-)

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HMBROWN1 12/20/2014 8:58PM

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SPARKYFLOWER 12/20/2014 7:42PM

    Loved your Blog emoticon

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SHERYLP461 12/20/2014 7:13PM

    I think when that shiny new feeling wears off we need to give ourself something new.even if it is riding a bike instead of walking, trying new things in your menue. The planning makes it work!

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PHHHISC 12/20/2014 4:42PM

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GOLDENRODFARM 12/20/2014 4:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
great plan!

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DIANNEMT 12/20/2014 3:53PM

    Your plan is great.

I know what you mean about "this is it--for the rest of my life??" I would LOVE to indulge more than I do--I LOVE pizza and fried chicken and stuff--but I REALLY LOVE being in shape and fitting in size 10. But I "want" the foods that I can only have in moderation.....and this is how it will always be--till I know that the bus will hit me tomorrow and I'll be dead! LOL It is hard--but you WILL do it!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 12/20/2014 3:48PM

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

It's Always SOMETHING, & A New Goal...

Wednesday, December 17, 2014


I am going to tell you why so many weight loss journeys fail. They either never make it past the first week, or they make it to a certain point (3 months, 30 pounds lost, etc.) before life throws the person an unexpected curve ball and everything gets destroyed! I'm just gonna call it like I see it: This crap is hard! There, I said it! emoticon On the surface it sounds easy... and anyone who just tells you to "eat less and move more" clearly hasn't been severely overweight or had an issue with food. The mental part of this process is sooooo much harder than the physical, and no one takes the time to explain that to you.

The thing is, there is no perfect time to lose the weight. We always want it to be something... "Well I have to start on Monday, no one starts a diet on a Wednesday", or "I will wait until the 1st of the month", and of course the BIG one is coming "I will start January 1st, new year, new me!"

We also want to start our plan AROUND everything else. "I can't do it before XX holiday" or "I am going to dinner for Luke's birthday on Friday, so I'll have to start the following Monday."

If this sounds like you, rest assured I am not mocking you... in fact, I was you. emoticon Before I restarted this in March of 2012... every time I wanted to start, something would happen. I would have too many dinners out coming up, or a trip to Vegas and I'd have to wait 2 months to start. Then I'd start for a month, maybe 3 months at most and something would happen... I'd go on vacation, I'd get sick, life would throw me some curve ball and I would lose my footing and throw it all away. But that perfect time doesn't exist. Life is full of surprises, good and bad... and conditions are not always going to be perfect for weight loss.

We aren't always going to be on track, we aren't always going to be in our calories or get in that workout, but how we react to these bumps in the road are either going to make us or break us. Remember that all these amazing people that we all look up to so much because they lost XXX amount of weight and kept it off are human too. They slip up, they overeat from time to time, they skip a workout or gain back 5-10 pounds... but they never quit. They always get back to this because it's a healthy lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle doesn't wait til January 1st, or a Monday, it happens NOW.

Now with that said, if YOUR plan is to get things rolling on January 1st, that's okay, YOU have to know what works for YOU... but at least promise me one thing? You'll do your best to keep the damage minimal between now and then. You don't want to start January 1st 5-10 pounds heavier than you are now, I know you don't because I am living that already and it's not fun. emoticon emoticon

I have been sick now for 4 days and I am so exhausted. My healthy eating went out the window and the exercise plan I wanted to start has to wait... it frustrates me, but that is LIFE. It just goes to remind me there will always be an excuse not to do this, and I have to do my best not to let those things stand in my way.

emoticon In other news, I'm trying to refocus on a goal that I was within 10 pounds of, but slipped up and went the other direction. I was very close to hitting the 100 pounds lost mark, and that is the most exciting goal I've had to reach since landing in Onederland. I have a long way to go now, thanks to my eating LOL. 24 pounds to hit my 100 pounds lost mark and 27 pound to hit the 160's for the first time. But you know, first I need to get back into the 180's, then land in the 170's for the first time... baby steps. But sometimes thinking ahead excites me. So I bought that shirt to wear to Disneyland to meet Cinderella, it is a little snug, but it might just be the perfect shirt to wear for my 100 pounds lost mark. I don't have many "before" photos because I often didn't let people take photos of me, especially not full body shots.... so the one of me and Cinderella from years is ago is the main one I go off of. So I am thinking that will be a nice motivator and a nice thing to look forward to. My luck, the day I go Cinderella won't be there but I always have my annual pass to try again.

I am looking for opinions and ideas on this... I was thinking do I just go and let the picture speak for itself... or do I maybe print out my before photo and we could hold that too... I was thinking that might be weird, but I'm weird and I am not afraid of being looked at funny... but I thought if I did that I could write with a marker on the back of it 100 lbs lost and we could take one of me holding it with her and then flip it over to have that, and then of course take one regular pic. I know they work at Disneyland so they HAVE to be nice to me, I'm just not sure if I want to do something like that or if I just want to take my pic and be quiet about the reasons behind it lol. I am open to opinions and suggestions, even if it's "Don't say anything, you'll look crazy!!" emoticon

Edit: Davis_6311 pointed out that you probably won't really be able to see the photo, that is so true! I am thinking maybe I could just tell her, or even show her the old photo on my ipod so she knows what I'm doing, and maybe she could make a 1 with her hand and I could make two 00's with mine so it reads 100... that might be neat...and of course take a regular picture too! :) Good thing this will be months down the line so I have plenty of time to decide! *giggles*

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WRITERWANNAB 12/23/2014 12:19AM

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CICELY360 12/22/2014 9:34PM

  good blog

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CORNERKICK 12/20/2014 1:32AM

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WOOFERCOALBOY 12/19/2014 2:46PM

    baby steps, baby steps!

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MCJULIEO 12/19/2014 2:22PM

    Great goal! Disney should certainly accommodate you!

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 12/19/2014 8:35AM

    So.....I guess I should read your blogs in the order that you wrote them, not backwards.
You had the pretty top idea anyway. Yes, great idea. How 'bout you take your pic with Cinderella and you hold a bag that you have printed on it the amount of your weight loss. You wouldn't really want to lug around a bag with 5 lb. or 10 lb. or whatever...
But you could have the number written on the paper bag as if it holds that amount of weight. The bag you hold could get bigger and bigger and when you hold it you could act like it is heavier and heavier.

Could you wear a necklace that has a charm of the glass slipper as a symbol of your goal/process? If you wore it all the time, you could physically touch this as a way of 'holding on" to your goal.

Do you think it would be helpful to remember that a lot of hard work, tedium, careful planning and amazing execution of detail goes into making the magic of Disneyland and being a Disney character/fantasy? It seems effortless and all fun and games, but it is really a mind boggling commitment of time and energy to make the experience happen. Just a thought...I have only been there (the one in Florida) twice in my life and you go there so often.

emoticon There is no starting or stopping of being the special person that you are.



Comment edited on: 12/19/2014 8:39:30 AM

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JSEATTLE 12/19/2014 2:20AM

  You know what motivates you! I love your Disneyland adventures. Love the shirt! Cinderella will be so jealous!

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BLUEJEAN99 12/18/2014 11:59PM

    Do the same pose without holding the picture? Whatever you decide you have accomplished a lot!!!!!

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LIVELYGIRL2 12/18/2014 10:41PM

  you should have a before and after picture, and if you decide... Cinderella might let you wear her crown. I think it would be cute, since you love Disneyland. Whatever you do, we will cheer you. Keep it up!!, even if you have retrace a few steps or pounds.

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WORKNPROGRESS49 12/18/2014 8:31PM

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DEBSZOO74 12/18/2014 8:09PM

    You're going to rock that shirt and it's going to be an amazing picture however you decide to take it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMONEKP 12/18/2014 7:47PM

    I love that you love Disney so much. I say print out the picture and take it with you, just print it large enough so maybe an 11x8 or 14x11 should work.

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NONNAOF2 12/18/2014 7:02PM

  I hope that you are feeling well soon! I like your idea, stick to it!

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LCRUMLEY81 12/18/2014 5:36PM

  A wonderful idea

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PATRICIAANN46 12/18/2014 3:00PM

  emoticon for the excellent advice. It means so much more coming from someone who has lived it...........
And...........I like YOUR idea of telling your story to Cinderella and then taking the picture with your hands forming 100.
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TIMEHASCOME56 12/18/2014 1:59PM

    True emoticon emoticon

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SRWYLIE 12/18/2014 1:27PM

    You're doing great! Thanks for being an inspiration to me!

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DIANNEMT 12/18/2014 12:07PM

    A wonderful idea!! Enjoy planning how to do it!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/18/2014 11:57AM

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ROCKYCPA 12/18/2014 11:41AM

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BOB5148 12/18/2014 11:40AM

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NEPTUNE1939 12/18/2014 10:48AM

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CHERYLHURT 12/18/2014 10:00AM

  Fabulous!

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JIBBIE49 12/18/2014 9:41AM

    Hugs

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FORZACHANDMATT 12/18/2014 9:13AM

    Great blog

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STEVIEBEE569 12/18/2014 8:30AM

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SHERYLP461 12/18/2014 8:26AM

    So sorry you have been sick. I am wishing you a speedy recovery!

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HMBROWN1 12/18/2014 8:10AM

    Can't wait to see! Keep us updated!

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IDLETYME 12/18/2014 8:03AM

    Best wishes on your goal! Feel better soon! emoticon

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MALAMI518 12/18/2014 7:51AM

    Great goal! I love the enthusiasm and the fact that you are starting NOW and not waiting for that mythical perfect time. I spent so many years waiting until Monday or the first of the month or some other time to start. I also love your idea to celebrate 100 pounds lost. That's quite an accomplishment!

emoticon

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PENOWOK 12/18/2014 7:07AM

    You have the most fun ideas!! I think you should go for it!! Disneyland should GIVE you a free pass when you hit 100 down! THAT would be worth working for!!

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JEANNEBUM2 12/18/2014 6:46AM

  You are so funny! I'm still laughing about you 'hitting rock bottom early' from your last blog. I'll have to remember that one for myself when I get there. (and I'll get there!)

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TRYINGHARD54 12/18/2014 5:53AM

    this was a great blog.. time after time I have made excuses for myself.
hope you feel better soon.. have a great day

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THROOPER62 12/18/2014 5:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 12/18/2014 5:16AM

  You have a plan and a goal. emoticon

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1STBUCKETITEM 12/18/2014 4:43AM

  emoticon goal.... now it's time to go for it, and don't look back! You're right, the time to start is now, don't wait 'til the 1st. Do what you can starting today and make it your new lifestyle. Enjoy every small victory along the way! emoticon

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SWEDE_SU 12/18/2014 4:00AM

    great blog - deserves a popular blog award. you make so much sense, it is so true that people look for the "perfect time". i love the idea of your shirt and the photo with cinderella - excellent goal to work towards. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESSHAILE 12/18/2014 3:30AM

    Yep Yep. It's always something. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. I love the photo idea - and I like the fingers representing 100. Can't wait to see it.

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ARTJAC 12/18/2014 1:40AM

    emoticon

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SUGAR0814 12/17/2014 11:23PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WALNUTT1961 12/17/2014 10:49PM

    I agree - IT IS SO HARD! I have felt like just maintaining because my clothes fit now and I am comfortable in my skin for once. BUT, for my health, I need to lose more weight and it would be fun to shop for new clothes! HA!
You need to do something with Cinderella when you get to the 100 pounds lost!

Feel better. emoticon

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ICECUB 12/17/2014 8:03PM

    emoticon it is so so so hard. feel better soon.

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MARITIMER3 12/17/2014 5:54PM

    You're SO right. It isn't easy and there's no perfect time.

I like the 100 idea with hands too.

Hugs, Gail

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GINA180847 12/17/2014 5:52PM

    emoticon

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VEG954 12/17/2014 5:25PM

  emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEMT 12/17/2014 5:14PM

    Stephanie! I am just so proud of you! I nearly cried reading this post! I mean you have learned so much! Like me from time to time we both put it into action! If only we were perfect! Wouldn't we be boring! Keep up the good job Stephanie and get over this illness! Any way you decide to take the picture with Cinderella will be wonderful!

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AHTRAP 12/17/2014 4:58PM

    WHEN you make it to your goal, you should not only go visit Cinderella at Disney, you should also take a picture of yourself in a cinderella gown. And then start working on your Ariel pose :)

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MARMAERT 12/17/2014 2:01PM

    Steph - don't know if you're on FaceBook, but if you are, we have an SP group called "Pink Pirates". We were in the BLC, then began a different group with teams, then just on FB. we have challenges, goal-setting, and lots of chatter! consider joining us - we are all on SP and have teams we're on here, too.
That said, I really like a website called "Full Plate Healthy". These people know our lifestyles - they've been there, too! They designed their program to work with real meals - even pizza, fast foods, or restaurants, and also your own cooking or going to someone's home. I have lost weight on this program and there are no foods to buy, just use reall food. They really help me every day!

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ANNABELLISABEL 12/17/2014 1:43PM

    No one ever starts anything on a Tuesday, which is exactly what I did 63 pounds ago, I totally had no idea this would be the one that stuck.

I love the idea of the hands thing with Cinderella! I think telling her and having her do that would be really cool.

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BARBARAJ73 12/17/2014 1:17PM

    emoticon the t-shirt and what it symbolizes... go for it !!!!!!!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Hitting Rock Bottom At The PERFECT Time!

Sunday, December 14, 2014


I have done it again, hit rock bottom... but this time is different! In the past, hitting rock bottom came after regaining all the weight I had lost, and then MORE. It was admitting I was at an all time high weight, and realizing I needed to do something about it. I lost 40 pounds 3 times in my life, only to gain them back and then some. When I started in March of 2012, I decided this was going to be the final time losing this weight, and that rings true today. But a couple days ago, I felt like I hit rock bottom.

I have gained back about 12 pounds, 15 from my lowest, I felt heavy, defeated, crushed, sluggish and just all around ICKY! Normally there is nothing positive about hitting rock bottom, but I actually was quite excited when I really thought about it. You see, this time, rock bottom came early! It didn't wait for me to regain all my weight... in fact I still have close to 80 pounds off. That in itself is a miracle. I realized that it was a blessing that this is happening now, and not when I gain back 80 more pounds. I have to say, I think I am a strong person, but I also feel like I would not be strong enough to lose all of this weight again. If something happened, and I was forced to start again from 272 pounds, I really don't think I could do it. I think that is why this is happening now. I know that I can't let it get that far out of control, because I don't think I can bounce back from it. 10 or 15 pounds? No big thing, I will get it off again... but I can't say the same about 50-80 pounds.

When I made it into Onederland, I vowed that I would never leave again. With the exception of a fluctuation or 2, I never had an "official weigh in" that landed me back in Twoterville. I refuse to go back, and I am ready to turn this around. Today is my first day back on track, and funnily enough I think I am sick. My throat hurts, and boy am I tired, so I am resting but I am also eating well.

I had a few people suggest I just wait until January 1st with everyone else, but I can do some serious damage between now and then. I already have 15 pounds to lose to get back to where I was in August, and I don't want to add another 10 to that total. The last month or so I kept feeling like I needed to get back on track, and it was true, I did need to, but I didn't want to. But today, I feel like I want to. I want to get the weight back off, I want to continue to get healthier and I want to feel better! I want to go back to Disneyland in January feeling good and like I can conquer the world! The less weight I have on me to slow me down the better... stalking Pluto is a lot of work. emoticon

So I have never been so happy to hit rock bottom, because it isn't under the usual circumstances. Here is to turning this around before it gets to a point where it overwhelms me to fix it! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OPHELIE 12/24/2014 6:15PM

    Love your attitude!

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TERRIJ7 12/23/2014 10:15AM

    You have the right attitude about starting now!

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DREAMINGOFNEWME 12/22/2014 2:28AM

    Totally understand. Hugs

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PORTIAWILLIS 12/21/2014 8:01PM

    Thanks for sharing your story.

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RINGLETS888 12/21/2014 11:38AM

    you got this!

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WHITNEYLD 12/21/2014 12:34AM

    That's great!

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WRITERWANNAB 12/20/2014 2:49PM

    Here's to always hitting "rock bottom" early! emoticon

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SASSYTHING52 12/19/2014 9:03PM

    thanks for sharing

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WOOFERCOALBOY 12/19/2014 3:02PM

    Congratulations on hitting rock bottom sooner!

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MCJULIEO 12/19/2014 2:19PM

    Excellent points! VERY emulatable!

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HYATTI1 12/19/2014 12:57PM

    emoticon

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2DAWN4 12/18/2014 11:45PM

    Some parts of your story could have been written by me! I too have slipped! Way way way way way more than you bt I too am back on track! Like you, friends have encouraged me to wait until the new year but I feel like if I wait, I might not have the same drive as I do know!

Keep up he great work! You can do it! We sparkers have got your back!

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KNEEMAKER 12/18/2014 9:08PM

  I have slipped too! Thanks for sharing Steph-Knee! I recognize it is time to start pushing this old car back up hill. With that said, let's just keep on keeping on!

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LADYDARYA 12/18/2014 5:39PM

    emoticon

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KATHIE24H 12/18/2014 3:08PM

  i agree. Waiting till Jan 1 could mean 5 more pounds. I just boxed up all the food gifts that have arrived (beautiful stuff) and took them to the nurses room at my moms nursing home.

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ACHIEVECHI 12/18/2014 9:21AM

    Great blog! This is the perfect time to be reading this with all the holiday "festivity" that surrounds us. I will keep it in mind.
Happy Holidays to you!

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LEANMEAN2 12/18/2014 7:39AM

    Thanks for sharing. Good one.

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BIKE2015 12/18/2014 12:10AM

  There is really nothing magical about the date "January 1st"! I'm not waiting either. Too much to do between now and then!

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ANAVBTOVIAS 12/17/2014 9:19PM

  Congrats! I am also just starting right now in the middle of December. Everyone tells me.to start in January but there is no time like the present. Good luck!

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AHTRAP 12/17/2014 4:53PM

    Is that a pie under the car?

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WHYNOTJ1 12/17/2014 3:43PM

    Awesome blog!

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SHORTSTORY2 12/17/2014 12:00PM

    Don't wait until January! If you have the motivation run with it. This is a rough time of year to try and lose weight, but you can do it!
I looked at myself in the mirror the end of November and said enough!!! I am more determined than ever to get my weight down! I decided to do a chocolate free December since that is my number one trigger food. It's amazing, but I haven't even wanted chocolate so far!!! I decided no more eating when I'm not hungry. I eat a good breakfast and usually don't do lunch unless I feel hungry and then a small lunch. In the afternoon I have an apple and some peanut butter which was suggested by another Spark member. Works for me ; ) So far I have lost 2 pounds in two weeks which isn't much, but any loss is a loss ; ) Good luck to you. Sounds like you have a good attitude about it and a plan. Have a good Christmas.

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GORDON66 12/17/2014 9:48AM

  I like your honesty. I, too, have recently gained weight, and it's emotionally and physically crushing. Unlike you, I tend to retreat. Kudos to you!

Leslie

XXXOOOXXX

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PUGLOVER1999 12/17/2014 1:08AM

    Now, that is PROGRESS!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Life is not perfect; we are not perfect; our weight-loss graphs are not going to be a vertical line!

I am so proud of you!

Also, emoticon for writing this blog! I really needed it! I have been so determined this time around and have been making slow progress (the BEST kind for me) but the past couple of weeks have been filled with sick people; changed schedules and sleep deprivation for me. Consequently, I have not exercised as regularly nor have I remained within my calorie limit (to put it mildly) and you know what that means! I have been thinking along the same lines as you, but have been too tired to do it clearly. You did it for me.

THANK YOU AGAIN!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MALAMI518 12/16/2014 11:15PM

    emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/16/2014 8:20PM

    so true! Let's finish December strong! It will make going into January that much easier, continuing on the right path. I think that you are right to keep pushing forward. I'm pushing forward too!

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EDDYMEESE 12/16/2014 7:35PM

    Great job! I agree with you about NOT waiting for January 1...we can do some serious damage as tempting as it may be!

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1HOTFUDGEMAMA 12/16/2014 6:54PM

  Keep pushing!

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SIMONEKP 12/16/2014 6:24PM

    I agree that now is the time!

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SJS963 12/16/2014 3:59PM

    Thank you! I can't tell you how much this post meant to me. You CAN do this!

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FMBURSON 12/16/2014 3:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLONDBIKEGIRL 12/16/2014 2:50PM

    I'd say you see this as a lifestyle these days. Congrats on your commitment to yourself. I made a deal with my body about five years ago to truly respect and care for it. Amazing how that ripples out to every part of life. Why wait? TODAY is it!

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NONNAOF2 12/16/2014 2:22PM

  One needs inner determination to continue on in getting the weight off. I yo-yo'd so many times over the years and at back the age of 67 I knew that I had to get serious. I am diabetic, so seeing my brother, who is also diabetic, go through major health problems and being on dialysiswas a major motivator for me, so I decided that I really needed to get serious if I wanted to be there for two of my three adult children with special needs. I'm so proud of you that you were able to catch yourself, you decided that it was a wake up call. I lost 100 lbs. many years go, only to gain it all back, I did not have the awareness that you have when it started creeping up on me, so I eventually just gave up! You are a strong person and to keep the weight off of you that you have so far, you are amazing! You are wise to start now in working towards losing the re-gained weight and knowing that 10 lbs. can be a fast gain during this time of the year! Keep up the good work and stay on track, you are most certainly capable of doing it and are worth the effort!! :-)

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WANTSRECOVERY 12/16/2014 2:22PM

    emoticon

Thank you!

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 12/16/2014 2:18PM

    Good for you. I've been there too only it was 25 pounds. I never want to see 278 again ever. Keep tracking. You can do it.

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BOWKAY 12/16/2014 1:54PM

    Good for you for starting now. Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. You can do this! emoticon

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REBESANCON 12/16/2014 1:03PM

    Awesome - good job turning it around now! You've come so far! You can do it!

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THIS2WILPASS 12/16/2014 12:14PM

    Congratulations on your Progress....it's a beautiful thing to wake up, know you're close to hitting bottom and pick yourself up before you get hurt.....good on you.....no.....Great on You.....I can feel the confidence building in you.....and it's a remarkable thing that gains momentum and spreads...I'm feeling it growing in me as I type....thanks much....smiles, K emoticon

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SUSIEMT 12/16/2014 11:36AM

    I like how you said you were happy to hit rock bottom. When I gain 5 lbs back that is how I feel. Well maybe not exactly but close.. I think about having to lose more or all of the weight I have lost and that makes me feel so awful!!! I know I could not do it again, however, I can lose those 5 extra lbs to get back to goal. Stephanie I would love love love for you not to go through this but as they say you need to work through this to get to the other side! The pride in your accomplishment will feel like no other! It will help push you further. You know those small streaks. Keep pushing Stephanie! You can do this!

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BEINGERIN 12/16/2014 11:27AM

    Wow, look at all this support and encouragement...so many people on your side. You will do great things.

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1DAY-ATA-TIME 12/16/2014 10:04AM

    Been There Done That. I appreciate your encouraging words. Thanks

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WALNUTT1961 12/16/2014 9:47AM

    Way to go, girl! I needed this motivation too! I decided the same thing. I can do a lot of damage by Jan. 1st. Start now!

emoticon emoticon

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GLUCOZA 12/16/2014 9:34AM

    I hit my rock bottom today, got to 183 from 170. It feels scary! I don't want to gain weight again! What is your plan for today? emoticon

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ARAZA30 12/16/2014 9:05AM

    That's a great attitude to have. Way to go!

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DOTFROMAZ 12/16/2014 9:01AM

    so true!! & I agree I think it's essential not to have the "Wait until New Year's" mentality. That's why I'm visiting Spark People again.

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QUAIL75 12/16/2014 8:56AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NIMIRRA137 12/16/2014 7:54AM

    Well said! I feel like we're right about the same place. I got on the scale today and was hoping for a lower number and was shocked when it was as high as it was! I haven't been this high in over a year. How is it possible to gain 12 pounds in 2.5 months!?

I'm going to focus on getting back on track TODAY. As you said, so much damage can happen between now and January 1st. We can do this!

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SEDONACAT 12/16/2014 7:34AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HIDDENMIZARY 12/16/2014 6:09AM

    I'm glad you can see when you hit rock bottom and adjusted for it

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JUNEAU2010 12/15/2014 11:14PM

    I love this blog! Great energy and attitude! Three cheers for you!

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