Monday, September 23, 2013
I have believed for many years that there is no such thing as 'the whole wide world'. There is a space in which the 'idea' of the whole wide world unfolds, and that space is in the six, short inches that sit between our ears. Now, I have proof.
I have lived in my home for five years. Over the last two of those years, circumstances beyond my control have conspired to make me leave that home. So in my mind...I did. I gave it up willingly in my head. The last few months have at every turn, reinforced that concept, with my mother's financial downturn in July, being the last nail in the coffin of our immanent homelessness. I LEFT MY HOME IN MY MIND, to make the ACTUAL leaving much easier when it finally occurred.
And lo and behold...leaving our home was NOT the final outcome. Providence saw and knew and conspired to turn the craziest of events in our favor, and place me back in a position to not only be able to stay in our home, but to be able to take over my mother's financial obligations as well. For two years, I have been 'homeless' in my head. And in less than one week's time, my home has been 'returned' to me.
During this experience, I learned a few VALUABLE lessons I thought might be helpful to someone else. Here they are...
Nothing is EVER as it appears, except as it appears through the filter of my MIND. There REALLY is no whole, wide world. There is only my PERCEPTION of people, places and things.
That idea of homelessness ALL could have been avoided, had I not felt the need to 'protect' myself from the 'inevitable'. I was NEVER homeless. We were NEVER leaving. And yet, I have lived two years in my mind like I was and we were.
I only get to know the smallest, teeniest, tiniest part of the grand scene of life...and ANYTHING is always on the agenda! WE NEVER KNOW WHAT'S AROUND THE CORNER, no matter how things may APPEAR where we stand.
Acceptance and surrender WORK! Because had I actually been slated to lose my home, I still have never had more peace in my life, than by simply allowing events to take their natural course. In fact..forcing my DESIRES and WILL upon this situation could have DESTROYED the circumstances that actually turned it all back around and placed me where I am today.
I am GRATEFUL beyond words and beyond measure. For my home. For these lessons. For this entire experience...
If you find any of this useful, take what you need and leave the rest :-).
Thursday, September 19, 2013
This is ALMOST impossible...except that it happened. I saw the THIRD double rainbow this morning from my garden, in as many days. It HAS been raining like CRAZY here in my neck of the woods...but this is just too weird.
PLUS...there was one of those HUGE, bright-yellow full moons in the yard today, just about an hour before my rainbows appeared. Those moons are rare and MAGICAL TO ME when I see them.
Something's up...lolol. I don't know what, but I walked Smokey in tears this morning because...
Yesterday I was offered a full time job with my current employer. The bosses had said they would find hours for me when I decided to close the store, but one of the nurses at my company gave her notice yesterday, and I was asked if I wanted the job...40 hours weekly...beginning October 1st. WEIRD?!?!?! RIGHT?!?!
I cannot explain the details, but at 5am this morning I had an epiphany about our house situation. Something happened a couple of weeks ago, which I thought sounded CRAZY at the time, but I now realize that it has the potential to reverse the whole short sale situation we're in. I just didn't put two and two together until this morning...lolol. But we may have a chance to keep our home. I have some phone calls to make tomorrow morning. We shall see what happens :-).
I wonder if there's just ONE MORE double rainbow on the horizon for the morning...lololol ;-)~~~
I've been working like crazy and have not been on SPARK as much as usual, but I am fine...I love you all...and I miss you all!!!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Today, once again, I am ever so grateful for Presence. It is such a gift to me...to have the option and the ability to just be...here...now...in this moment.
All of the judgment, attachment and expectation that surrounds projection into another time VANISHES in the instant I remind myself that IN THIS MOMENT...there is not a SINGLE issue or concern :-).
This keeps me sane and abstinent today. Not that food would or could fix anything...but the inability and unwillingness to simply stay in this moment FEEDS the desire to eat compulsively in my experience. And right now...I have none of that...despite the circumstances surrounding me! I am SO GRATEFUL for this gift.
Right now...I am safe. Right now...I have a home. Right now I have a fullness faith in the way things are and a gratitude for the same. This is a balm unto my soul.
I could not be more at peace in this moment...lolol...really...not one ounce more. What a miracle!
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