Thursday, July 11, 2013
Today, I am once again so very grateful for SparkPeople. I am becoming my intended self in this world, and that journey is helped along by the work I get to do here.
I posted on one of my Spark Spa team threads that I am grateful for food addiction because it has set me on a path to further awareness. Spark is the ONLY reason that I can be grateful for this thing I used to hate.
On Spark, I beat food addiction, instead of it beating me. There are no real words to describe this liberation. So I love...and I pay it forward, in response.
That's it...and that's all. And all is well :-)
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
I am grateful to have learned how to live a PRESENT life. For me personally, the past and the future are non-existent entities that at various times in my life have held me back from my becoming my INTENDED self. I realized it was ONLY because I gave them play in my mind, that they held such sway over me. So I chucked them :-). For me this works. Generally, I have very little use for anything other than this present moment, as the present moment is the only moment that EVER , ACTUALLY exists in reality. However, when it is HELPFUL, I am willing to review other spaces of time, whether they be moments which have passed, or those yet-to-come moments, for which some preparation might be wise.
One such space of time is the last three months I have spent recovering on SparkPeople. In looking back from April 10th until today, I am AMAZED and HUMBLED at the changes in my life and in my self. The transformation and metamorphosis I have experienced fills me with gratitude and humility. And the LOVE....THE LOVE...for those of you who have walked this road with me...changing yourselves, sharing your journey, helping me as I helped you...is OVERWHELMING. The POWER of what we can do FOR and WITH one another when we are transparent, supportive and generous is EARTH-SHATTERING!
Forget our bodies for a moment, if you will. If you are even remotely like me (as I know you are...we REALLY are all the same in this world ;-), the changes in your mind, in your soul, in your relationships are ENORMOUS!!! Really...when I consider THAT...who gives a fu** WHAT some dirty, white box on the bathroom floor says?!?! WE ARE HEALING, WE ARE LIVING, WE ARE CONNECTING to something so much GREATER than ourselves. SOMETHING SO VERY SPECIAL is happening here...something which has so VERY LITTLE to do with the weight of our physical form.
My main man Lao-Tzu says 'hope is as hollow as fear' because in engaging either, you are avoiding what 'IS', and I like that idiom. But if I did HOPE for one thing today, on the three month anniversary of this AMAZING RIDE I said yes to on 4-10-13, it is this...
MAY EACH OF YOU KNOW HOW VERY SPECIAL and IMPORTANT THIS PLACE IS and HOW INTEGRAL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE TO ITS SUCCESS!!!! Our attitudes and our words are so very MIGHTY. I bring the best I have of both of those here every day and I thank those of you who do the same, from the very bottom of my full and healing heart!
I love Spark! And I love YOU too :-) Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Three months down...a lifetime to go.... ;-)~~~~~
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Today, as I prepare for sleep, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
I am grateful for Spark and for every, single one of you who holds my hand and walks this road with me :-).
I am grateful for the changes in my life, in my home and on my body :-)
I am grateful for the two hairy boys...lol...asleep in the room next door, and all of the love and connection they share with me :-).
I am grateful, right this moment, to know what is REAL :-).
Monday, July 08, 2013
I cracked up when I typed the title. You 'Seinfeld' fans will know why...lol :-).
I am, indeed, shrinking. But so are a few other things of note. I figured I'd give them equal airtime, as they are SIGNIFICANTLY more important than the down-sizing of my physique.
My WILL is shrinking. What I want is no longer bigger than what is best for me. I may want half of a chocolate cake, but that 'want' is tiny, compared to my desire to recover from food addiction.
My NEED TO CONTROL is shrinking. My desire to have things go my way is so much smaller than my new willingness to simply accept and surrender. This is HUGE for me, as that one inability paralyzed me on so many levels. I have so much PEACE when I have faith in the Universe, and allow things to go their way. The exhausting fight that used to fill my mind when I thought I knew better than you and god and everyone, was a spiritual cancer which ate me alive.
My PERSONA is shrinking...lolol. Funny to have to type that, but it's the truth. I have, since childhood, been referred to as a 'charismatic personality'. I have a sharp mind, a quick wit and an infectious smile. But being this obese made all of that even LARGER. I was never the shy, self-conscious fat girl. I was always the larger than life personality EVERYONE focused on when I entered the room. And that persona was something of a burden, as it set the bar for so many things at a certain height..one at which I was not always completely comfortable. Becoming smaller makes me feel smaller. This is a RELIEF in so many ways. I can simply BE...end of sentence. I no longer feel like I have to be ANYTHING after that word BE :-). This is the most surprising development, and my most favorite.
I could not be more grateful for all the things that are becoming smaller for me here on Spark.
So there it is...SHRINKAGE. And I wasn't even in the pool.... ;-)~~~~~~
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Just another SUPER SPARKly day in the SPARKisphere :-).
What a gift to be living FREE of the insanity that surrounds compulsive thought and eating.
My belly is sated. My mind is empty. My HEART is full.
I am grateful :-).
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