Thursday, September 16, 2010
It's pretty amazing what a few weeks of bad eating can do to your body. I went for broke, throwing good sense and what I knew was best for me to the wind while planning for Breanna's departure to college these last few weeks. Maybe I should say "MONTH" because I have been "sneaking" things for quite awhile now. I had several "duh" moments when I was just too tired to hike and my energy levels starting rolling in the ditch. Instead of pushing through or realizing that junk-in equals junk-out, I allowed myself to think, "I'm going back to the house, I'm not feeling well, maybe it's the Lupus affecting me and I need rest." Excuses, excuses, excuses. I gave myself a verbal beat-down yesterday, I cursed at the scale, I cursed at myself and allowed the "pity me!" monster to take me hostage. Not only did I gain ten pounds of FAT, I gained ten pounds of emotional loathing and a bad attitude.
Today I am still feeling pretty rotten physically. To put it mildly, I feel like I've been chewed up by a wood chipper...twice. My stomach burns, my head hurts and my bones and muscles feel like sludge. It is compounded by the fact that it is raining and this type of weather is rough for my auto-immune disorder. The verbal self-lashing has made me realize that I can be pretty cruel towards myself. I wouldn't be that mean with anyone else...so why was I so mean with ME?? Which takes me back to why I decided to abuse my body in the first place. Why did I slide down that slippery slope of temptation when I KNEW where it would lead? I know....we all do it. I know we are all capable of "back-sliding" and I wouldn't be angry at anyone else who lost their way. After all, we are only human, we are creatures of habit and sometimes we lose our way.
I snapped on my pedometer this morning and groaned. This is where my struggle now lies. Not only am I dealing with the burden of losing this weight, to make this body healthy again, I am dealing with this physical ill feeling. I am trying to find a way to push through it. I have this inner dialogue that continues to resonate in my mind that goes something like this:
"Get over it, Michelle. You screwed up. Now fix it."
"I'm too tired to fix it. There are so many more IMPORTANT things to be upset about, that are more important than my WEIGHT. And I'm just SOO tired!"
"Yeah? Well if you don't knock your crap off now, you're not going to be around to help resolve these situations that are going on in your life. Remember your promise to your brother!"
And it hit me last night...if something goes wrong with me, it affects everybody. Brian told me last night that if I didn't get busy and get healthy again, he was going to be mad. He said he didn't care about my weight, he just cared about my HEALTH. He EVEN said, "You could weigh 300 pounds and I would still love you, kiss you, think you were beautiful. But if you're sick and something happens to you, I'm going to be %$@&! Because this is in your control. WE NEED YOU. This is not a family without YOU." Then he reminded me what I told him after his heart attack when we almost lost him. He reminded me that he quit smoking, he started exercising and eating "rabbit food (salad)" for me. He told me the only way I was being selfish was by NOT trying.
It's going to take a few days for my body to push out the poisons I've been feeding it. I was up every hour on the hour last night running to the bathroom. The body is pretty unforgiving, especially after you have given it the things it's needed for awhile and you abruptly take them away. It rebels, big time. I've learned my lesson.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Noooo, I'm not planning on going anywhere soon, but there are some things I've been thinking about doing before I bite the dust someday. Most of you already know that I want to parachute or hang glide. (Some of you think that will expedite my journey to the Other Side, but, hey, at least I'll go in style!) So, I sat down earlier this evening and began typing out some things that sound interesting to me. Such as:
1) Learn Tae Kwon Do. I don't know what it is, but it's really fun to say.
2) Learn how to yodel. I've tried it before in the shower. Brian asked if I needed a Vicodin or some whiskey to dull the pain.
3) Go to Fudpuckers at Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I'll take pictures for Betsy and John of the sign!
4) See the Pyramids of Giza, Egypt.
5) Sneak one of my paintings into the Louvre in Paris, France. We'll see if they notice the Mona Lisa replaced by my painting of Marilyn Monroe! Then we'll see how much it costs to get bailed out of jail in Paris!
6) Go to the Mardi Gras in New Orleans and see what all the fuss is about with the beads!
7) Learn how to use a pogo stick.
8) Audition for Wipe-Out and Whacked-Out Sports! After I realize I can't use a pogo stick!
9) Learn how to do magic tricks so that I can keep Brian's attention for more than thirty seconds. SQUIRREL!
10) Learn to brew beer. OH, C'MON! My mother was a God-fearing woman, too, but she kept a mason jar of moonshine in her bathroom closet! She didn't drink it, but she was proud of her first canning session given to her by my grandmother!
11) Kiss Gerard Butler. B-U-T--L-E-R. Not D-E-P-A-R-D-E-I-U..........
12) Drive a Ferrari...just once. FAST.
13) Sleep in a castle. On second thought, no, there's probably spiders in there...
14) Fly IN a blimp instead of FEELING like one!
15) Learn how to belly dance...and NOT throw my back out of place.
16) Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.
17) Meet HARLEYBABETOBE, BKNOCK, CARTOONB, GEEMAWEST, DUTCHIEKIWI, CALIMAN1, and all 123 of my SparkFriends! Even if they're NOT Steelers fans!
18) Go on a cruise...with TOM Cruise. It's okay, Brian. You can come, too!
19) See the Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament in London. THEN see the Big Ben and the Terrible Towels in Heinz Field, Pittsburgh.
20) My ultimate Bucket List Wish is that everyone in my life know how much I appreciate them and love them. If that is all I accomplish, then I will be happy. That is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to me.
Have a great evening, guys.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
I was at the Dollar Store last night trying to find a cheap shower caddy for Breanna. The shower stalls at OU are small, close together and there isn't a place to set her many essentials (a.k.a. shampoo, conditioner, serum, body soap, body lotion, razors, shave cream and who-knows-what-else) as she is getting ready for her day. As I was debating between a lime green, purple or hot pink one, a "gentleman" came up to me and struck up a conversation. I pleasantly smiled and continued my business, silently wondering when he was going to LEAVE. Then he said, "Ya know, maybe you and I could grab a drink sometime." I didn't even look at him. The only thing I did was hold up my left hand and wiggle my ring finger. After apologizing, he hurried off; but I couldn't help but grin. I couldn't wait to get home and tell Brian that someone tried to pick me up at the DOLLAR STORE! It was kinda flattering, too. I mean, C'MON. It makes you feel good to know that you're not a big anatomical mess! My hard work has paid off!!
Brian didn't even bat an eye when I told him and asked, "Do they carry tarp?"
"YOU know what tarp is."
"Yeah, I KNOW what tarp is, but that's all you have to say??"
"About that guy in the store!"
"His pick-up line was lame."
"Okay...so you're judging him by his PICK-UP LINE. NICE."
I remember Brian's pick-up line. Twenty years ago, I was walking back to my apartment and this huge Ford Bronco with a four-inch lift kit and monster tires pulled up alongside me on the sidewalk. Over the roar of the engine he shouted, "HEY! DON'T YOU LIVE THREE APARTMENTS DOWN FROM ME??!"
"DON'T YOU LIVE THREE APARTMENTS...."
"I CAN'T HEEEAR YOU!"
Cutting the engine, he said, "Don't you live three doors DOWN from me?"
"Yeah...and your point is?"
"You need a ride back to your place?"
Looking over my shoulder, I could see my apartment door. Looking back at him, I saw him grinning and he said, "Or we could just go grab a pizza after while."
What a cute grin. I was soo smitten.
We ended up getting pizza that evening. And watching the movie "Ghost." Just as my eyes were tearing up when Patrick Swayze was going into The Light, Brian leaned over and planted one right on my lips.
"What are you doing?!?"
"I'm sorry. No, I'm not. I've been eyeing you for two months now. So, NO, I'm not sorry. And I want to kiss you again. And again. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I want to kiss you for many days to come."
Cue the cheesy grin. Cue the Cupid's arrow. And I've allowed him to kiss me...for many YEARS to come.
So, last night, as I watched Brian ransack the building for weed-eater string and holler at the cat for getting under his feet, I realized something; that's still the same guy who had to lift me up and put me in the passenger seat of his monster Bronco because I was too short. He's still the same guy who rushed home in the middle of his workday with a ring and TOLD me I was going to marry him. He's also the same guy who said he had been eyeing me for two months because he's had his eye on me for twenty years now.
So YEAH. The Dollar Store guy's pick-up line WAS pretty lame.
Brian knew he NEVER stood a chance.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
I have always been fascinated by the human body for as long as I can remember. I can recall being a small child, and even before I could read, sitting and pouring over my mother's medical journals looking at the pictures on each page. It is probably why I majored in Psychology and later on became a nurse. I just had to know what made us tick...and what I could do to keep on ticking! We all know by now how many calories we must burn to lose a pound of fat, how to ease the burn of a strained muscle and how to cut the unnecessary fat from our diets, but did you know that:
- The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. It is the only muscle in our body that is not attached at both ends. Also, every individual has a unique tongue print just like we have unique finger prints.
- The average human will eat on average 8 spiders while sleeping.
- The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
- The human brain weighs about 3 pounds. The human head weighs 8 pounds.
- You blink over 10,000,000 times a year. Women blink twice as many times as a man.
- When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop...even your heart. It's impossible to truly sneeze with your eyes open.
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and six days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
- Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza in a DAY.
- If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
- On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime. A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories. Maybe we should kiss more often?
- Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for the heart. Yet the surface area of the human lung is equal to that of a tennis court.
- The higher your IQ, the more you dream. And in color.
- The typical human body contains enough sulfur to kill all fleas on an average dog.
- We are born with 300 bones. Yet, by the time we reach adulthood, we have 206 bones. Babies are also born without knee caps.
- The average human body sheds around 600,000 particles of skin every hour; that is about 1.5 pounds a year. By age 70, you will have lost 105 pounds of skin. Ever wonder where it goes?
- The average adult's empty stomach has the volume of 1/5 of a cup. When stuffed with food the volume can reach a little over a gallon.
- During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools. And did you know that if your saliva cannot dissolve something, then you cannot taste it?
- The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are frogs, worms and potted plants.
- After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.
- Your body has enough iron in it to make a 3-inch long nail.
- The indentation in the middle of the area between the nose and the upper lip is called the philtrum. Didn't know it had a name, did ya?
- Facial hair grows faster than any other hair on the body. Pfff! Tell that to the hair on my legs!
- The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades. You get a new stomach lining every three to four days. If you didn't, it would digest itself.
- It takes 72 muscles to produce human speech.
I bet you didn't know you were that complicated, did you?
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