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My Bucket List

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Noooo, I'm not planning on going anywhere soon, but there are some things I've been thinking about doing before I bite the dust someday. Most of you already know that I want to parachute or hang glide. (Some of you think that will expedite my journey to the Other Side, but, hey, at least I'll go in style!) So, I sat down earlier this evening and began typing out some things that sound interesting to me. Such as:

1) Learn Tae Kwon Do. I don't know what it is, but it's really fun to say.
2) Learn how to yodel. I've tried it before in the shower. Brian asked if I needed a Vicodin or some whiskey to dull the pain.
3) Go to Fudpuckers at Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I'll take pictures for Betsy and John of the sign!
4) See the Pyramids of Giza, Egypt.
5) Sneak one of my paintings into the Louvre in Paris, France. We'll see if they notice the Mona Lisa replaced by my painting of Marilyn Monroe! Then we'll see how much it costs to get bailed out of jail in Paris!
6) Go to the Mardi Gras in New Orleans and see what all the fuss is about with the beads!
7) Learn how to use a pogo stick.
8) Audition for Wipe-Out and Whacked-Out Sports! After I realize I can't use a pogo stick!
9) Learn how to do magic tricks so that I can keep Brian's attention for more than thirty seconds. SQUIRREL!
10) Learn to brew beer. OH, C'MON! My mother was a God-fearing woman, too, but she kept a mason jar of moonshine in her bathroom closet! She didn't drink it, but she was proud of her first canning session given to her by my grandmother!
11) Kiss Gerard Butler. B-U-T--L-E-R. Not D-E-P-A-R-D-E-I-U..........
12) Drive a Ferrari...just once. FAST.
13) Sleep in a castle. On second thought, no, there's probably spiders in there...
14) Fly IN a blimp instead of FEELING like one!
15) Learn how to belly dance...and NOT throw my back out of place.
16) Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.
17) Meet HARLEYBABETOBE, BKNOCK, CARTOONB, GEEMAWEST, DUTCHIEKIWI, CALIMAN1, and all 123 of my SparkFriends! Even if they're NOT Steelers fans!
18) Go on a cruise...with TOM Cruise. It's okay, Brian. You can come, too!
19) See the Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament in London. THEN see the Big Ben and the Terrible Towels in Heinz Field, Pittsburgh.
20) My ultimate Bucket List Wish is that everyone in my life know how much I appreciate them and love them. If that is all I accomplish, then I will be happy. That is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to me.

Have a great evening, guys.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKOFFWIN 9/16/2010 2:14PM

    Interesting and entertaining bucket list, Michelle. I especially liked the one about yodeling. Lol :o) "SQUIRREL!" was pretty funny too.

Don't know about Mr. Butler, but I have good information that the "Cruise Missile" is very slow to lift off and often a complete dud. And it's as short as he is... (I was pen pals with Nicole Kidman after the break up. She said that I was the the only reason she got through it.)

Oh, and LOVED the Mona Lisa as Harley Momma! Now that's art! Lol :o)

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DARLENEK04 9/15/2010 7:41PM

  Well, I have driven a Porche..................LOL........
borrowed it from a lawyer...did you know they go to 115 in 2nd?

Of course I would love to meet all my spark friends also.

I am a Steelers fan though...............


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TERRYT55 9/15/2010 5:31PM

    What a great list! I love it.....your picture of the Mona Lisa isn't bad either. emoticon

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    How fun:)

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PJSTIME 9/15/2010 7:19AM

    I love your list and the fun you must of had thinking about it. I would love to meet some more of my spark friends too. Maybe that is in our future. You want to yodel I want to learn to whistle.

Have a great day.

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LIZZYP609 9/15/2010 6:36AM

    I love the list!! I also wish to meet a lot of my spark friends! Who day!

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HICKOK-HALEY 9/15/2010 3:28AM

    When you get ready to cross the Golden Gate, let me know. I will drive up and join you!

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JHADZHIA 9/15/2010 12:15AM

    Fun! I would love to go to Mardi Gras some day too! Enjoy the dreaming! The martial art you want to learn would be a heck of a good workout, and fun too! Be like Bruce Lee, flying through the air with a big kick LOL!

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RJFERRARO315 9/15/2010 12:12AM

    emoticon I love your bucket list. You made me laugh. I really hope you get a chance to do these things especially meet your Spark Friends. Geemawest & I met back in April and it was AWESOME!

Good Luck!
Rebecca emoticon emoticon

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USFBULL 9/15/2010 12:06AM

    emoticon my list has just expanded, LOL emoticon

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BLAKBIRD 9/14/2010 11:54PM

    Here's a random thought, inspired by your current day "Lisa Mona".

Imagine the incredible machines and works of arts Leonardo Da Vinci would have created with Photoshop and a CAD machine.

Once you have imagined them, what's to stop you creating them.

I'd probably jump out of a perfectly good plane to see your works of art on display in the Louvre.

In the meantime, don't waste a second gettingstarted on number 17 and I recommend in Alphabetic order by SP member name - emoticon

emoticon blog emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 9/14/2010 11:35PM

    I am actually watching Wipe Out right now. I was ragging DH about it, asking him what he found so funny. The next thing I knew I was laughing out loud. I must say, and don't take this personally, but I think I would laugh even louder if I was watching you.

I'm with Dutchie, let's go to Amsterdam! Woo Hoo!!

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FLEMIDG 9/14/2010 11:23PM

    Awesome blog, Michelle. I hope you get to accomplish at least some of the things on your list. Have a wonderful week.

Lots of love.


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CARTOONB 9/14/2010 11:23PM

    8) I LOVE Wipe-Out! That show is totally up your alley!
9) Oh..shiny squirrel, even better!
11) Had to show DD the difference between Butler and Depardeiu...she agrees, but thinks they are both old (she's wrong! LOL)
17) I completely support this one!!

Right back at you for #20!!

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/14/2010 11:12PM

    I love your list .I did parachute when I was in the military ,all pilots have to once may I share my thought after I jumped "Why would anyone voluntarily jump from a plane unless it was going down in flames?" I jumped on the lone prairie and since I was much lighter back in those days they didn't calculate the drift right and I ended up in the one tree for miles !!!!!Meeting my Sparkfriends is so on my bucket list too!!! I bet between Dutcie and I we could lengthen your list ! Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament are on my mousepad ,my Mum was a Londoner!!!

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MUSIC66 9/14/2010 11:04PM

    sound great .would love to meet you too.

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THEMIGHTYLEX 9/14/2010 10:59PM

    Great Bucket List
it might be time to create one of my own. The trick to getting the painting inside is to wrap the canvas around yourself inside a large coat. Placing it over the Mona Lisa very quickly and running full speed out of the museum while an accomplice records the whole event will give you years of enjoyment... once the Parisians release you.

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LMB-ESQ 9/14/2010 10:57PM

    Michelle Da Vinci. Love your Mona Lisa! Or maybe we should call her Lisa Mona, since you seem to have turned her all on her side! I think if you mess with the real thing, there won't be enough money to bail you out. Yodeling? Where's my earplugs? I want to drive a Ferrari too! Faster than you! You can keep Gerard Butler. And Gerard Depardieu. And Tom Cruise too. I'll take Johnny Depp emoticon

My nephew tried to ride his bike across the Golden Gate bridge. He said he almost got blown off the side. Bring your umbrella and maybe you can fly like Mary Poppins. emoticon Oh, and wear a warm coat!

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GRACIE4ONE 9/14/2010 10:57PM

    I love the way you write! Awesome and humorous!

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DUTCHIEKIWI 9/14/2010 10:56PM

    AWESOME! I love it. Done a couple of those, but wouldn't it be totally awesome if we could walk the golden gate bridge with a huge group of spark friends!!!!!????!!!

Some of your choices will be on my list too, for sure!!


I'm missing a few naughty ones that I KNOW you will want to do...
I'll just have to convince you... ;0)

How about a holiday to Amsterdam? It's gotta be in there... Non??



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    emoticonYOU, my friend, have the wonderful gift of making everyone SMILE! emoticon

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HLTHYETER 9/14/2010 10:51PM

    Neat blog--including some good chuckles!

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SURVIVOR20J 9/14/2010 10:46PM


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SURVIVOR20J 9/14/2010 10:45PM


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MORGANLAFEE 9/14/2010 10:44PM

    Very humerous but thoughtful too. Thanks for sharing.

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DEE107 9/14/2010 10:42PM

    Thanks for sharing Hugs and sounds like a lot of fun ...

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For Betsy

Thursday, September 09, 2010

I thought she could use a laugh today. So, from one redneck to the other, here ya go, sweetie pie.


"Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree."

"Don't worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag."

"That boy is about as sharp as a cue ball."

"That boy is a few fries short of a Happy Meal."

"He's ridin' a gravy train on biscuit wheels."

"That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter."

"I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a 5 gallon bucket of porcupines than to...."

"It's as easy as herdin' chickens!"

"She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish."

"I'm busier than a stump full of ants!"

"That's slicker than snot on a doorknob!"

"No, that's slicker than snot on a goat's glass eye!"

"He's a nice guy but I don't think he has enough chlorine in his gene pool..."


"Bard" - verb. Past tense of the infinitive 'to borrow.' Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck.

"Jawjuh" - noun. A state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh just bard my pickup truck.

"Munts" - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and I ain't herd from him in munts!"

"Ranch"- noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of the pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

"All"- noun. A petroleum based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

"Far" - noun. A conflaguration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."


Have a good day, girlie. Big ole redneck hugs from me. ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

K8NJKSMOM 9/17/2010 2:52PM

    Thank you for my laugh of the day!!! Loved them!

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DBFBILLY 9/11/2010 9:40PM

    Too funny and so true emoticon

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DONGR8NCHARNC 9/11/2010 12:12AM

    Too funny- enough said!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 9/10/2010 10:35AM

    "That boy is a few fries short of a Happy Meal."

- i us3 "a few wrestlerz sh0rt of a battle r0yal" or "a few corn kernels short of a c0b"

sam3 idea tho.

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/10/2010 1:00AM

    LOL! And I thought I was a linguist shows you can always learn something new!!!

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JUNIAATROME 9/10/2010 12:37AM

    Now that's what I call an instructive blog. And I'm a polyglot now. Well earned points. LOL

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CARTOONB 9/9/2010 9:18PM

    Those are redneck words snd sayings?? Oops. emoticon

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NANALD 9/9/2010 9:07PM

    Thanks for the great laugh! emoticon

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MUSIC66 9/9/2010 7:28PM

    awsome lol.

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GEEMAWEST 9/9/2010 7:20PM

    You forgot the word "Tarrs" as in - we put 4 new snow tarrs on the truck.


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    Sure glad that I finally got invited to the party. I'm tired and in pain and this really cheered me up!

I was rather surprised that you posted your motorcycle picture though! LOL

Thanks again for all the chuckles!
You made my day once again.

I guess if I said you need to explain them to me now, it would be too late, LOL

Have a SPlendid day! emoticon

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FLEMIDG 9/9/2010 4:45PM

    Thanks for making me smile. I love your blogs.

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    Now, that was great!!!! emoticon

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DARLENEK04 9/9/2010 4:21PM

  All ya'll (plural) know what my favorite is:

The sign, signed Owner

Thanks Michelle for the giggles.


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CALIMAN1 9/9/2010 3:21PM

    oh the depths we will sink for 3 points...........I think I'll blog about this!!!!!!!!!!!


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JILLWILSON2102 9/9/2010 3:05PM

    and my favorite "he's about as bright as a 10-watt bulb" funny emoticon

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BKNOCK 9/9/2010 2:50PM

    Do you know what John is going to say about this one!!

Thanks for cracking me up twice in one day! I really needed that!

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BIKERBABE2BE 9/9/2010 2:31PM


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PJSTIME 9/9/2010 1:56PM

    Love em all. emoticon

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DOLPHINFAN1334 9/9/2010 1:32PM


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The Ultimate Pick-up Line

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

I was at the Dollar Store last night trying to find a cheap shower caddy for Breanna. The shower stalls at OU are small, close together and there isn't a place to set her many essentials (a.k.a. shampoo, conditioner, serum, body soap, body lotion, razors, shave cream and who-knows-what-else) as she is getting ready for her day. As I was debating between a lime green, purple or hot pink one, a "gentleman" came up to me and struck up a conversation. I pleasantly smiled and continued my business, silently wondering when he was going to LEAVE. Then he said, "Ya know, maybe you and I could grab a drink sometime." I didn't even look at him. The only thing I did was hold up my left hand and wiggle my ring finger. After apologizing, he hurried off; but I couldn't help but grin. I couldn't wait to get home and tell Brian that someone tried to pick me up at the DOLLAR STORE! It was kinda flattering, too. I mean, C'MON. It makes you feel good to know that you're not a big anatomical mess! My hard work has paid off!!

Brian didn't even bat an eye when I told him and asked, "Do they carry tarp?"
"YOU know what tarp is."
"Yeah, I KNOW what tarp is, but that's all you have to say??"
"About WHAT?"
"About that guy in the store!"
"His pick-up line was lame."
" you're judging him by his PICK-UP LINE. NICE."

I remember Brian's pick-up line. Twenty years ago, I was walking back to my apartment and this huge Ford Bronco with a four-inch lift kit and monster tires pulled up alongside me on the sidewalk. Over the roar of the engine he shouted, "HEY! DON'T YOU LIVE THREE APARTMENTS DOWN FROM ME??!"
"DON'T YOU...."
Cutting the engine, he said, "Don't you live three doors DOWN from me?"
"Yeah...and your point is?"
"You need a ride back to your place?"
Looking over my shoulder, I could see my apartment door. Looking back at him, I saw him grinning and he said, "Or we could just go grab a pizza after while."

What a cute grin. I was soo smitten.

We ended up getting pizza that evening. And watching the movie "Ghost." Just as my eyes were tearing up when Patrick Swayze was going into The Light, Brian leaned over and planted one right on my lips.
"What are you doing?!?"
"I'm sorry. No, I'm not. I've been eyeing you for two months now. So, NO, I'm not sorry. And I want to kiss you again. And again. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I want to kiss you for many days to come."
"Yeah. Okay."
Cue the cheesy grin. Cue the Cupid's arrow. And I've allowed him to kiss me...for many YEARS to come.

So, last night, as I watched Brian ransack the building for weed-eater string and holler at the cat for getting under his feet, I realized something; that's still the same guy who had to lift me up and put me in the passenger seat of his monster Bronco because I was too short. He's still the same guy who rushed home in the middle of his workday with a ring and TOLD me I was going to marry him. He's also the same guy who said he had been eyeing me for two months because he's had his eye on me for twenty years now.

So YEAH. The Dollar Store guy's pick-up line WAS pretty lame.

Brian knew he NEVER stood a chance.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DBFBILLY 9/11/2010 9:33PM

    That is an awesome story..Sounds like you found your prince emoticon I want to hold out for someone specialtoo...What few times i've dated, i've come to realize i'd rather be alone, until the special one comes along..I'm not going to settle anymore..I'm happy for you emoticon

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CARTOONB 9/8/2010 10:54PM

    Awwww! (You and Brian) Suh-weet! (Getting hit on!) Of course! (Not being an anatomical mess)

So....have you been married for 20 years? What day is your anniversary? I have been married for 20 years. Another creepy coincidence?


Comment edited on: 9/8/2010 11:00:32 PM

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MOMFAN 9/8/2010 10:49PM

    What a great memory. A guy this week was hitting on me in the library. Only problem was I didn't realize it until he said, "I hope I am not hitting on a married woman?" Told him sorry I was, I am not wearing a ring because we lost the diamond over a year ago. I was just clueless! So my family gets a laugh about their clueless mom.

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GEEMAWEST 9/8/2010 10:33PM

    Cute, very, very cute. You, Brian and the story.

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BLAKBIRD 9/8/2010 10:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JILLWILSON2102 9/8/2010 9:28PM

    What a wonderful love story - you are one lucky couple! emoticon

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BKNOCK 9/8/2010 7:12PM

    Wow, first you have people attacking you in Walmart and now you have men picking you up in the Dollar Tree. Is it safe for you to go out alone? LOL!

Great blog as usual!


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DARLENEK04 9/8/2010 4:45PM

  Great blog Michelle....Brian is a keeper, forever and ever...

But then, I knew you still had "it".....ha I'm your Momma
and I know these

Hugs Baby,

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CALIMAN1 9/8/2010 3:42PM

    ok, so tell me, if the guy had tarp under one arm, THEN issued the pick up line....would that have made Brian go through the roof????

It's all in the tarp....I know that if a guy approaches my wife without tarp, not an issue...but when the tarp guys come, I get all emoticon

I liked all the stories in this blog...and doggone it, your work has paid off and Mr Dollar Tree guy definitely noticed....your Brian pizza big truck story was also very special. I think others are right, you are a lucky lady with the one.

Now go tell him I said so....and, no, it's not tarp under my arm....he can put away the evil eyes!!!!!! emoticon

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    WOW hell he is a keeper. That is such a sweet story. He does so love you and the fact that he doesn't feel insecure is awesome.

OHHH and BTW you didn't have to tell everyone that I tried to pick you up at the Dollar store. That was the best pick up line I could think of at the time, all my other ones never worked! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/8/2010 3:15:38 PM

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FLEMIDG 9/8/2010 2:54PM

    Michelle, that was a great blog. It is fun to know that what we are doing is working. You are a lovely woman on the inside and outside, so I could see someone coming on to you. Maybe Brian experienced just a little bit of jealousy when you told him. I love the story about your romance. You seem to have been made for each other. You are both so lucky to have each other.
God bless you both.


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DAWNO64 9/8/2010 2:15PM

    That's one of the sweetest stories I've ever heard...he was definitely smitten with you, and not willing to give up!

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TEENY2BEE 9/8/2010 2:05PM


Thats so SWEET!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BADASSBLONDIE 9/8/2010 12:15PM

    This post made me feel all warm and fuzzy. :-D Also, I used to drive a 94 Ford Bronco, so that makes me happy.

Comment edited on: 9/8/2010 12:30:42 PM

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BWCAGRL 9/8/2010 12:07PM

    What a great story and a great perspective! Thanks for sharing! I used to work every Sunday so my hubby would take the kids to church. I knew it was going to happen and finally, a woman approached him and started talking about how tough it was to raise children as a single parent, and would he like to go out sometime to swap stories!
Unfortunately for her, after the shock wore off his face my husband laughed out loud and told her he was happily married. He told me about it and I said, "See, I'm not the only one who thinks you're hot!" Sometimes we all need a little reminding that we're desirable.
And, it's great to know that taking care of ourselves has so many benefits!
Keep Sparking!

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HAPPY_AS_IS 9/8/2010 12:02PM

    You sound like one lucky gal!!

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PJSTIME 9/8/2010 12:02PM

    That had to be a great ego boost. And a nice love story about you and Brian. Ahhh True love is great. We sometimes just have to remember those swet memories.

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    Cute story!
So, that was ME in the Dollar Store,
and you told everybody that you shot me down, LOL

Can't blame the guy,
could you?

Keep those home fires burning for another twenty years.
Bre' could use another little sister! LMAO

Thanks for putting yet another smile on our faces!


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JRDIAMOND4 9/8/2010 12:00PM

    OMG, Michelle, I had the same thing happen to me at Wal-Mart. Billy was standing at the end of the isle and I had walked back to get something and this guy came walking fast toward me and said I found you. I have been watching you, You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. I don't know what my reaction was cuz I was speechless. He ask are you married and all I could do was show him my ring finger and he said figures, but I just had to tell you, You are beautiful and walked away. When my legs would finally move, I ran to Billy and punched him told him to never leave me again. He probably had the same look on his face when I hit him as I did when the guy approached me. I told Billy as we were checking out the story. No comment, he just laughed.

As he started the truck. He said "Whew, taking you shopping is exhausting, loading the groceries and having to beat the guys off you."
lol I just grinned all the way home. hehehe

I love your blog. Isn't it so awesome that our hubbies still make our hearts go pitter patter.


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THAMLEY 9/8/2010 11:58AM

    I'm surprised that doesn't happen to you all the time--you are gorgeous ya know. So sweet though, just what we need to keep us on track, and keep Brian on his toes!

Your love story sounds much like my own. He'd been "eyeing" me at the local A&P store for a couple of months before he got nerve to ask me out. Then it took me a few weeks to agree(incredibly shy)! That blond hair and bright blue eyes, I wanted to run off with him immediately. He told me we would be married on the very first date(I laughed at him). Here we are 32 yrs later--barely been apart more than a day since.

Here's to being smitten; but pick-up attempts always welcome--it gives us that nice little glow. When we've worked hard for it, we deserve it, as long as we don't reciprocate the offer.

Keep on being beautiful!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 9/8/2010 11:48AM

    Sweet story.... and a nice ego boost! Congrats! I haven't had a pick up line for awhile. And you're right, Brian knew the lame guy in the dollar store was no threat to him LOL

Oh, and apropos of nothing, I asked my son if he wanted something like a little bucket or a basket or something to carry his stuff to the shower. He looked at me like *I* was lame. "Mom," he said, "I have soap and shampoo. What do I need a basket for? Do you think I'm a *girl* or something?" emoticon

Boys.... **sigh**

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    Gosh, girl! You make me smile, then go in for the kill and make me tear up?! emoticon emoticon

That was awesome! emoticon

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QUIKSYLVER 9/8/2010 11:39AM

    Awww, cute story!

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BIKERBABE2BE 9/8/2010 11:35AM

    Aw...true love! This is wonderful and you and Brian have a wonderful thing going.

Congrats on the fact that someone tried to pick you up. That always boost the ego...even if he is lame!

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Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I have always been fascinated by the human body for as long as I can remember. I can recall being a small child, and even before I could read, sitting and pouring over my mother's medical journals looking at the pictures on each page. It is probably why I majored in Psychology and later on became a nurse. I just had to know what made us tick...and what I could do to keep on ticking! We all know by now how many calories we must burn to lose a pound of fat, how to ease the burn of a strained muscle and how to cut the unnecessary fat from our diets, but did you know that:

- The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. It is the only muscle in our body that is not attached at both ends. Also, every individual has a unique tongue print just like we have unique finger prints.
- The average human will eat on average 8 spiders while sleeping.
- The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
- The human brain weighs about 3 pounds. The human head weighs 8 pounds.
- You blink over 10,000,000 times a year. Women blink twice as many times as a man.
- When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop...even your heart. It's impossible to truly sneeze with your eyes open.
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and six days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
- Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza in a DAY.
- If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
- On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime. A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories. Maybe we should kiss more often?
- Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for the heart. Yet the surface area of the human lung is equal to that of a tennis court.
- The higher your IQ, the more you dream. And in color.
- The typical human body contains enough sulfur to kill all fleas on an average dog.
- We are born with 300 bones. Yet, by the time we reach adulthood, we have 206 bones. Babies are also born without knee caps.
- The average human body sheds around 600,000 particles of skin every hour; that is about 1.5 pounds a year. By age 70, you will have lost 105 pounds of skin. Ever wonder where it goes?
- The average adult's empty stomach has the volume of 1/5 of a cup. When stuffed with food the volume can reach a little over a gallon.
- During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools. And did you know that if your saliva cannot dissolve something, then you cannot taste it?
- The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are frogs, worms and potted plants.
- After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.
- Your body has enough iron in it to make a 3-inch long nail.
- The indentation in the middle of the area between the nose and the upper lip is called the philtrum. Didn't know it had a name, did ya?
- Facial hair grows faster than any other hair on the body. Pfff! Tell that to the hair on my legs!
- The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades. You get a new stomach lining every three to four days. If you didn't, it would digest itself.
- It takes 72 muscles to produce human speech.

I bet you didn't know you were that complicated, did you?

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JUNIAATROME 9/9/2010 3:12AM

    I think I know when I ate one of the 8 mendatory spiders per life...

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TRENTDREAMER 9/8/2010 9:04AM

    "The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime. "

* g33z + i thought grlz/women just used it on their lipz. im going to l00k @ my female frendz v3ry differently now. emoticon lol

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FLEMIDG 9/7/2010 11:49PM

    Love those blogs, Michelle. Where did you get all this weird information?

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/7/2010 11:41PM

    I can go one better than just weird when my daughter was in primary school the Sting song "An englishman in NewYork " was popular and I was cheerfully singing along and one of her friends queried the "I'm a legal alien " part and I said "I'm an alien too" meaning married to a soldier coming originally from another country and this child went home and asked her Mum what planet I came from ???Is that weird enough??

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BLAKBIRD 9/7/2010 11:01PM


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CARTOONB 9/7/2010 10:41PM

    Unfortunately, I had heard the spider thing before. Blech! emoticon

You wanna take my toungue print? LOL!

Thanks for the interesting facts....whether I wanted to know them or not! LOL!

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JILLWILSON2102 9/7/2010 9:27PM

    I think I like being weird! emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 9/7/2010 7:16PM

    God made us all amazing and unique!

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LMB-ESQ 9/7/2010 5:53PM

    HEHE emoticon

I like the one about the atomic bomb. Does that mean I should eat more beans? emoticon

I don't dream much, but I do dream in color. Am I in trouble for law school? emoticon

And after eating too much, ALL my senses are less sharp... usually cuz I'm asleep! emoticon

Funny and interesting! Thanks for sharing!

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    emoticon yep right I'm weird!

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DREMARGRL 9/7/2010 3:57PM

    Kewwwl! Interesting. There were a few on that list I'd never read before. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice night. XO MaryAnn emoticon

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USFBULL 9/7/2010 3:34PM


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STEVENGO2 9/7/2010 3:26PM

    Sometimes I dream in color and some times I dream in black in white, so I assume that makes me somewhat intelligent! Where did you pick up all these interesting facts?

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NANALD 9/7/2010 3:03PM

    emoticon You must have had to look a while to find this! YOu are right...we are weird and this just begins to touch the surface of how weird we are! Thanks for sharing!

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VRADAA 9/7/2010 3:01PM

    Good grief! Some of that info I didn't need to know!! LOL!

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SWEETYKINS012 9/7/2010 1:15PM

    hehehe!!! i had read some of these before.... i dream in color. momma-little, you peed your pants because your muscles relaxed and quit working when you sneezed!!!! hehehe!!!!

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    OK, girlie, explain why sometimes I pee my pants when I sneeze really hard! LOL!! It didn't stop my bladder! Thanks for your blog. It was just the ticket! emoticon

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LIQUID11 9/7/2010 12:43PM

Interesting info, to think about…

And who that funny little fellow might be?
He Rocks!! Definitely an Important addition on my Motivational Collage/ Desktop Wallpaper LOL


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    You got the title of this blog RIGHT!

But we already knew that YOU were weird. Had to say it BEFORE you said it about me, LOL

Some awesome info there

Did you tell Bre' all that after she left? She's probably at Macy's looking for a RIUG for her mother's tongue, LMAO

Thanks for brightening up my day, now I can get to work and work WITH a smile on my silly face and no one will know what I'm smilin' about!

I did!

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PJSTIME 9/7/2010 12:24PM

    What a fun blog filled with all this info. My DH must always eat too much he nevers seems to be able to hear me. emoticon

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GEEMAWEST 9/7/2010 12:08PM

    WOW! Too much information before I've had my second cup of coffee.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BIKERBABE2BE 9/7/2010 11:53AM

    According to your stats I am super smart...I dream in color and lots of it....also I agree on the facial hair...I have some that grow three-four inches an hour (especially on my chin)!

Thanks for the fun facts. Have a wonderful Tuesday!

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BKNOCK 9/7/2010 11:49AM

    Gotta say, this was a pretty interesting blog! Now why is John mentioning my name again? Let's see how he gets his next 3 points!

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DARLENEK04 9/7/2010 11:44AM


As far as the scream/yell theory for heating coffee, after
much deep thought and introspection thinking on this......

I decided I will just use the microwave as it is much faster.
And the winning thought here is that it is also much quieter.

Thanks for the great blog....

PS: I read this spider thing years ago, so I sleep with a
surgical mask on, just in case spiders attack me in my sleep.
Are we weird, or what???

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PIA2000 9/7/2010 11:30AM

    I thought everyone dreamt in colour!!! However, I dont usually remember my dreams , colourful though they are! SO does this mean I am only smart some of the time ? :P

Either way - I enjoyed reading this one ! Thanks ! :)

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CALIMAN1 9/7/2010 11:26AM

    Hmmm, I see you are beginning to fall under that rarest of conditions...what is that thing called????? I can't think of it. I think Betsy might know though!!!!! emoticon

Aside from this, I will always enjoy any reading that talks about spider munching and enough gas to rival that of an atomic bomb....what is better than that???

Hope u are well my friend...emjoy this beautiful Tuesday....say that like Cary Grant would and it sounds so much better....why is that? Or maybe like that, who is it you like, Geraldo Rivera????? Gerard Depardieu???????

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KAILYNSTAR 9/7/2010 11:24AM

    I did know some of that but I didn't know about the higher the IQ the more you dream and in colour. That means that I must be smart. I like that. I have always dreamed in colour and never understood people telling me that all people dream in black and white. This clears everything up.

I love blogs like this.

Have a great day!

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Go Ahead, Make My Day

Saturday, September 04, 2010

I was at Walmart last night and they are remodeling the store. They have the snack cakes by the bras and underwear and the shoes next to the vaccuum cleaners. I really hope this is only temporary. Or it could be a good thing! If you're thinking about buying the snack cakes, maybe it will make you think how you're going to look a few days later IN that bra. Maybe it's a psychological tool that Walmart is using to help us get fit. The shoes next to the vaccuum cleaners could be a subtle reminder for us to get moving. No? Anyhooo, it sure was a pain in the bum trying to find the coffee filters. They were over in Aisle Four next to the Depends. Even THAT seems fitting in my warped eccentric little mind.

I was pushing the cart over to the produce when one of the wheels got stuck on something on the floor and it discontinued turning. I pulled it backwards, tried again to push it forward; alas, it got hung up again. It was impossible to be inconspicuous because each time I tried it would scream, "Buh-GGGRRRRRRRRR!" An older lady who was next to me gave me a dirty look and slammed her fish sticks into her cart, sighing heavily before squeaking away.

I didn't like her. I didn't like her at all.

And don't ask me HOW THIS happened, but as I was about to leave the aisle, this little kid, about seven years, careened his body into my cart. He was running at break-neck speed and ended up halfway into it, screaming, "OW! MOMMY! MOMMMMMEEEEE!" Quickly looking around for any witnesses, I helped him get back on his feet and said, "You shouldn't be running, little one, you could get hurt!" Rubbing his eyes, he screeched, "I DID get hurt, lady!" Apologizing, as I patted his back, he jerked viciously away from me. Laughing, he said, "I"m going to tell my MOM that you hit me!" and ran off. I hurriedly ran the other direction and got lost in the maze of the mismatched aisles. I watched my back the entire time I was there. I didn't like that kid either.

When I finally got home I texted Breanna and told her how much I missed her. I said, "You should have been with me at Walmart!" She said, "Walmart? WHO needs Walmart! There's a MACY'S here! AND an Elder-Beermans! And I GOT A JOB!!" Yep! She's a working girl now! She is taking on 20 hours a week at the dining hall on campus. It's enough to get her some pocket change and to supplement what we give her. She seemed so.....GROWN UP. I asked her if she needed anything and she replied, "No, Mom, I'm doing fine." WHAT?! Huh?! Hmmm, unlike the little boy who needed HIS mother because he got beat up a little bit, she was facing life head on. She didn't need to scream, "OW! Mom!" She was doing....fine.

Isn't that what I wanted to hear? Did I WANT her to say, "I need you! Can you come?" A small part of me wanted an excuse to go and "HELP" her with something, with anything. But, no, Mom, she is doing fine. NOW whatchya gonna do?

Well, I know ONE thing. I'm "steering" clear of Walmart for awhile. Just until they get the mess, carts, old ladies and the little narks cleaned up. And I will be happy that my little girl is taking the bull by the horns and going for it. Looks like the tables have turned and she's setting the example for me now, huh?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 9/7/2010 11:30AM

    The morale of the story is ... quit drinking coffee or you'll end up wearing Depends and have to shop at Walmart and be abused by little brats.

It's so sad when our children go out on their own and don't need us but we still need them. Sounds like mom just needed a hug and for someone to tell her that it's going to be okay.

Mamma bird, your baby is spreading her wings and is going to fly. No worry ... she's knows where the nest is.


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TRENTDREAMER 9/6/2010 8:12AM

    "There's a MACY'S here! AND an Elder-Beermans! And I GOT A JOB!!" Yep! She's a working girl now! She is taking on 20 hours a week at the dining hall on campus. It's enough to get her some pocket change and to supplement what we give her. She seemed so.....GROWN UP."

* 2 kool!!1 cngrts 2 bre-bre on the job. u should b3 proud as i know u r.

i didnt know i wuz supposed 2 dress up 2 go to walmart. now i know why the people at the $ stores look @ me funny when i wear a suit and tie. lol

Comment edited on: 9/6/2010 8:12:35 AM

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    Too friggin' funny!

I was expecting you to have run over a M&M with that cart wheel and I was waiting to see if you'd eat it or not, LOL

Glad Bre' got a job and glad she's getting away from that WallyWorld mentality!

I wish you could see me LMAO

In fact

ROTF too

Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend and know that you did a GREAT job as a mom!

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BKNOCK 9/5/2010 8:11AM

    I love your blogs Michelle! I probably would not have been nice to the kid! I probably would have said something like Where is your mother? You should not be running through this store like that! But then again his mother probably wouldn't care!

Sounds like a great day in Walmart! That is why I shop early am before all the crazies come out!

Have a great day!

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SUGARPUNK52 9/5/2010 2:09AM

  Thanks for the laughs! I think you'll have a LONG wait for Wal-Mart to clean it up though.Good luck.

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MUSIC66 9/5/2010 12:26AM

    great blog.

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/5/2010 12:13AM

    I personally think on trips to Walmart we should be equipped with full body Armour or perhaps better still a cloaking device so we can go round pinching little rotters that dare to say things like that kid did to someone trying to help them!!! I loved the blog and you must be so proud of Bre !

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DONGR8NCHARNC 9/5/2010 12:07AM

    As usual you made me smile. I may have to avoid "Wally World" myself. Having an only daughter, I know how it feels to see her take wings and fly; though they must. The adventures of the Williams household never let me down!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLEMIDG 9/4/2010 11:49PM

    Michelle, thanks for another wonderful story of your life. I so enjoy reading your blogs. I can totally sympathize with you. Wal Mart is crazy these days with all the kids shopping for back-to-school stuff. You can't even walk up and down the aisles without people standing there and chatting with one another, and no one seems to have any manners. They will bang into you and just give you a dirty look and keep right on walking. I'm so glad Breanne is doing so well. l know you miss her, but just look at her, she's alone in a strange place and doing well on her own. She even got herself a job. You must be so proud of her. I know you miss her, but things will get easier for you soon.
Take care of yourself. Lots and lots of love goes out to you.

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DUTCHIEKIWI 9/4/2010 11:12PM

    Hahahaha, I see myself in you like you would not beleiev, but I'm with Barb... bring it on, get your mum...
you may be big but I'm not scared....!!!

And the old lady... i might have made a little comment or remark...
I'm a badass at the moment, not sure why...
I think it's these sparkfriends winding me up, now I need an outlet...

old ladies at the supermarket will do LOL


BTW, good going for Bre, show your momma what you're made of! :0)

Comment edited on: 9/4/2010 11:18:58 PM

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    I absolutely LOVED your blog and your wonderful sense of HUMOR!!!! Bratty kid! Batty woman! Indeed!

I am so proud of your daughter! You have raised her well!!!!

It's late and I gotta get off my daughter's computer, so have a great weekend! *hugs*

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GEEMAWEST 9/4/2010 9:53PM

    You just have to quit picking on innocent little children and little old ladies. You're going to get a reputation. Oh wait, you already have one. Never mind.

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THAMLEY 9/4/2010 9:49PM

    What a brave soul you are. I don't do Walmart. I go when I'm forced-- maybe about twice a year. It's like a three ring circus to me. Too many loud, rude, obnoxious folks--have you seen "the people of walmart" on the net? It's a totally accurate depiction!

I don't think there's a thing to worry about with Breanna--she's gonna make you very proud!

Hope your Holiday weekend is fabulous--be healthy, have fun!
emoticon Tammy

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CARTOONB 9/4/2010 9:42PM

    I would have stayed there and let the kid go get his mom. Bring it! LOL!

LOVE the newspaper article at the end! LOL!!

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WILLOWWINDS 9/4/2010 4:59PM

    I use to HATE Walmart. Always so crowded. Of course the one near me isn't a super one. Only retail stuff.

I am proud of you with the bratty child. I think I would have told him to take me to your Mom and told her off.
You deserve an award for sure.

Hmm... I am cranky today. Sorry.

I am sorry your missing Breanna so. On the good side technology at least will make it easier to keep in touch.


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DARLENEK04 9/4/2010 3:53PM

  Oh my poorpoor darlin'............after having worked for walmart for
22 years, now you know why I am nuts......remodels.................

I have gone thru the kid episode too....only when his mother asked
me to watch where I was going with my cart, I politely told her if
she could control her bratty child he would not have run in to my cart,
therefore, she needed to watch where she was going..............needless
to say, the look in my eye must have given her pause for thought, since
she grabbed the little snot and actually apologized.

Walmart is always interesting to go to when you feel in the need for
playing it was the "world famous" lets us teens
walk sidebyside and block this whole

I am a pro at this game myself. So when I barrelled my cart right thru
the middle of them they moved. It was that or I could have run over them
at which time my "oh mah goodness" are ya'll okay???? would have poured
all over them.............see, in alabama they don't know if you are carrying or
not so they rather don't know what to do when one stands ones ground......
BR>Have a great week, and be glad you raised a good youngin'....she would
never do some of the stuff I have observed at the local walmarts....yay for
her having a MACYS...I love that store..if they had groceries my life would
be perfect. HA

Take care now,

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PJSTIME 9/4/2010 3:48PM

    Walmart was not where you were supposed to be today or at least it doesn't sound like it.

Mom your daughter is growing into a responsible young lady be proud. You raised her to be that way.

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SWISHSTARNAN 9/4/2010 3:20PM

  What a time! Blogging/journaling is a great way to vent - I hope it worked for you!

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