Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Okay, I know this is really random, but my SIL called me earlier this evening and told me to come up and get some of her homegrown corn. She said there were sweet peppers, and homegrown green beans there, too. Before Brian could say, "Where do you THINK you're going?" I was out the door leaving skidmarks in my driveway. Burning rubber, I made the fourth mile journey to her house, salivating at the mouth and hitting every pothole in sight. OH, SHUT UP, I was hungry and I pitied the fool who got in my way.
Jumping from my car, I ferociously slapped my empty Walmart bag open and headed down to the pond where she was standing. A few quick hugs and "how-are-yous" were said and we were laughing our way to her fenced-in garden where the "stuff that dreams are made of" awaited. Mmmmm. First, though, there was the matter of opening her barbed-wire fence. (Many deers in this area...they'll eat YOU if you're not careful.) I don't know how, but as I was passing through, my hair got caught in it. As we stood there laughing, trying to unwind the tangled mess, my shoe sunk in a pit of mud and my foot came out. It successfully landed in another pit of mud. At least I think it was mud. It looked like mud. I wasn't going to smell it to find out.
Making our way through the maze of stalks, I got too close behind her and the leaves slapped me across the face, more than once. There was one particular hearty one, however, that hit me in the eye and dislocated my contact lens from the center of my pupil. I felt it slide underneath my eyelid and suction itself to the white part...not the best feeling. But as my eye grew red and the tears flowed, I became even more determined. She and I picked corn until our fingers hurt. We talked about Breanna's upcoming adventure, the persimmon tree that Steve loved, and the paintings that I had recently been doing. I promised her that I would do one of my brother's 1969 Plymouth Roadrunner so he could hang it in his garage.
It was a great time. I ended up spending more time there than what I had planned. I realized that I missed these times with her and privately promised myself to spend more time with her once Breanna spreads her wings and flies. And I had CORN. HOMEGROWN CORN! Getting it was difficult and a struggle but the pay-off was good! And I had sweet peppers and green beans, too. Cleaning up my foot and fixing my contact, I realized that life is kinda like that, too. You might get beat up a little along the way to a goal but the end result is good, especially when you do things with a pure heart. And that's the key...having a pure heart. Getting things any other way just wouldn't feel so good in the long run. Would it? There are no short-cuts in ANYTHING worth having, whether it be weight loss, our spirituality, our relationships or corn. Unless it's done right, it could leave a very weird taste in our mouths...and our souls.
Any of you wanna come over for dinner tomorrow?
Well, forget it. The corn is all mine. But I love you anyways!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It's really not hard to get side-tracked. It's not difficult to lose sight of your goal, not only with weight loss or the road to better health, but also with the other things in your life. I was talking with Breanna the other night about college life and how easy it will be to allow other things to get in the way of her studies. I was a college student once, I know. It takes discipline and a stern train of thought to keep one's eye on the prize. Plus, it takes determination and a hunger for that prize to get there. If we could only do this without the doubts and the obstacles that are sure to accompany our dreams, without that little voice that whispers in our hearts, "Are you man/woman enough to grab hold and not let go? It's too hard! Give up now!"
But without these obstacles, we wouldn't find our strengths or weaknesses. We wouldn't learn of the "stuff" that makes us who we are. Would we? If our goals were easy to grasp, easy to accomplish, we would not be made stronger in character. We would not learn patience or perseverance. We would merely become unappreciative of our efforts and grow tired of the challenges before us. That is why we must always push through the veil, push through the hard times, and see the shining soul that we ALL have inside of us.
We have choices in this life. Each and everyone of us. We could do what is EASIEST, go where where we are most COMFORTABLE, stay in our OWN LITTLE SPACE. We could stay stagnant and just BE. Or we could FIGHT for what we want. We could FIGHT to make things better. That goes with our health, our friendships, our marriages, our spirituality. If things are not going well, if we're not satisfied with where we are in life, we have CHOICES. Give in, give up, or work harder.
I choose to work harder. Many changes have occurred in my life in the last year and a half. My dear brother passed away, I was handed an unwelcome illness, my daughter lost a child and I have a grandson that I have not held in my arms. I have caught myself countless times feeling very sorry for myself. But I have fought to remain optimistic. I have failed at times, but I've FOUGHT. However, the last month or so, I've felt my soul grow harder. I've grown selfish. I've allowed myself to act out of character in a number of ways. Now that I recognize it, what am I going to do about it?
Fight and claw my way out, THAT'S what! I WILL find myself again. Breanna is leaving for college next Tuesday. I have prepared myself for the torrent of emotions that will be bombarding us both that day. However, I will not wallow in sadness nor I will I allow it to determine the path to my own personal future. I will be sad, most likely crying to you all in a blog, but I won't allow it to determine bad choices that will beget more bad choices. I will cry, get over it, and move on. I raised a good kid. God is her lighthouse. She has said this to me. So the question is, what am "I" going to do? What steps am "I" going to take to get on with MY life, the kind of life I want to live, the kind that I can be PROUD of?
Well, I can cling tighter to my husband. Pray harder. Read the Word of God each and every day. Surround myself with my dearest friends. And give the devil a swift kick in the bum each and every time he comes knocking on my door. I'm not down for the count. I am determined to be better, to be stronger. I am determined to conquer the remnant of a woman I've become and come out with my guns blazing. There's a new chapter of me ready to be written...
and I am the author.
What's in YOUR next chapter? God bless you all.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I saw this on Barb's blog so I thought I would steal from her. OH, DON'T JUDGE ME! She stole it it from everyone else!
1) Available or Married?
Married. Not to Gerard Butler as previously planned, but to a guy that has a heart of gold so it's all good. He wishes he were married to Melanie Griffith. But that's a whole different blog in itself.
"Ghost Hunters of the South" by Alan Brown.
3) Cake or Pie?
OY! BOTH! Cheesecake and Pecan pie are my top two poisons, followed closely by carrot cake. And Red Velvet. And then there's the Rocky Road Ice Cream....
4) Drink of Choice?
If I had a CHOICE, it would be Mountain Dew. But since I've learned that it's basically arsenic in a can, I drink water and green tea.
5) Essential Item?
My fake eyelashes. Breanna repeatedly stomped on one the other day because she thought it was a bug on the floor.
6) Favorite Color?
GREEN. Loooove green!
7) Game to Play or Watch?
Oh, geez, let me think about that for a minute...um, maybe, shoot...could it be the Pittsburgh Steelers? The best games are the ones against the Cincinnati Bengals and watching Brian flip when the Steelers score against them! I get to do my smarty-pants dance!
A little teeny-tiny hick town in Southern Ohio. Where the bumper stickers and sleeveless shirts roam free.
Riding my Harley and watching "Whacked Out Sports."
Aggravating the snot out of Brian, Breanna and driving my SparkFriends nuts with my blogs.
Two very grown step-kids (28 and 27), one grown 21 year-old son, and a daughter that just turned 18 today. Wow, I'm old!
12) Life is Incomplete Without...?
Chocolate Mousse. I'm just sayin'....
13) Music Group or Singer?
Queen, HIM, Sent By Ravens, Mika, ShineDown, Rob Thomas and Credence Clearwater Revival.
14) Number of Siblings?
Two older sisters and three older brothers (RIP, Steve, I miss you so much...).
15) Oranges or Apples?
BOTH are good to hurl at Brian when he gets smart with me.
Sitting in the passenger seat of a moving car, dirt on the floor, and I don't like my feet coming out of the covers in bed!
17) Favorite Quote?
"If you rest, you rust." ~ Helen Hayes.
18) Reason to Smile?
Jesus loves me. Brian loves me. My kids (I think!) love me. What better reason is there than THAT? Oh, and Gerard Butler is HOT!
Fall. Definitely fall because it's not too hot and not too cold and I get to wear my chaps on the motorcycle!
Yep. Two. One is a heart with me and Brian's name in the middle and the other is a butterfly. Can't and won't say where.
21) Unknown Fact About Me?
I don't think there's anything about me that you guys don't already know. I guess one thing might be that I'm insecure. I'm afraid of people not liking me. I'm afraid of losing the people I love.
22) Veggie I Love?
OH, heck YEAH! BROCCOLI! Mmmmm!
23) Worst Habit?
24) X-Rays I've Had?
Geesh, everywhere, everything, at least three times over. I glow in the freakin' dark.
25) Favorite Food?
Anything that isn't nailed down. (And Nutter Butters!)
Capricorn, just like Barb. And we're BOTH PERFECTIONISTS, can you believe THAT?! LOL!
Have a great day, guys!
Monday, August 16, 2010
If I had a nickel for every time I hated what I saw on the scale I'd be able to afford lipo. Scratch that...I'd be able to buy my own private island in the Bahamas and not give a crap WHAT I looked like to anybody. I am very ticked off. Oh, I have no one to blame but my own self. I seem to have made it a habit to drown my jitters and nerves in at least one sinful snack a day and for that I should be duly whipped. And as I say "whipped" I'm thinking of that white fluffy stuff that I like to drown my cherry pies in as I speak. My bad! My TOTAL bad!
Okay, I'm not only blaming myself for the four pounds, I'm going to blame the market, too, for selling it, for putting it at eye-level next to the coconut cream pies. I will blame the stock boy who saw me coming and hurried to make sure it was well-stocked by the time my squeaky cart made it over there. Then I'm going to blame the management for putting it on sale for forty cents off regular price. The mail man is getting it, too, for putting the coupons in my mailbox so I could take an additional twenty cents off. Then Brian is getting "nailed" for saying he needed nail clippers. Why? Because if he didn't say he needed nail clippers, I wouldn't have put the coupon in my purse, drove to the store next to where nail clippers were sold and by the whipped cream. Or the pie. Or the chocolate milk. These people are all on my list today and somebody is gonna pay!
....maybe I need to do some self-reflection. Right? I mean, I AM the one who put spoon to mouth, who allowed my old ways of self-medicating with food win over my spirit. I've been really ticked off at a "friend" lately, I'm nervous over Bre's departure and I've been having a lot of self-doubts about myself. WAIT! The OLD me did this kind of thing. The old me thought, "Oh, whatever. Let me eat. Who cares! I'm not trying to win any contests!" I knew something was up when the "muffin tops" returned above my jeans. While contemplating how they got there, I was inwardly wondering if there was any carrot cake left. It was then I recognized puffy Michelle and the old train of thought so I asked myself, "What's eating ME?"
Okay, the stock boy, managers, the post man and Brian are safe...for the time-being. I am on my way to slam the scale against the wall, throw out the crap that birthed these muffins on my sides and meditate. First things first, forgive myself. Then forgive the friend. THEN, if things go well, dig deep in this pile of rubble and find the real me who conquered the old me at one time and make peace. Do I REALLY want to have to lie down on the bed, suck my gut in and use a fork to pry the zipper up on jeans again? No. That could be dangerous for anybody, let alone ME. I need to get with it. I need to pray. I need to LOVE ME.
Today is the day to start over.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Oh, for Pete's sake, we're all a bunch of whiney babies in the Williams' Household! First off is me. I'm still sulking over the inevitable departure of my baby in a few weeks for college. OH STOP CRINGING, I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Okay, that's a lie because I know I will be filling pages of blogs about how much I miss her once she's gone and pasting baby pictures of her everywhere. Last night she made me swear not to post any of those and actually took the photo albums and HID them. AS IF!!! BUT SHE MISSED ONE!! BWAH-HA-HA! See later blog post in a few days of Breanna when she was baby. She made the Gerber baby look like Cujo!
Yesterday was Brian's birthday. You'd think that he would be happy having a few friends over, celebrating this wonderful 50th milestone. Right? You'd think we had given him nursing home pamphlets. I guess it didn't help when Shane gave him a package of Depends and a box of Efferdent. The cake was good, though. Brian said it was dry as a bone. He also said our "rears" were grass on OUR next birthdays. He could actually make the sequel to "Grumpy Old Men" hilarious. We told him that. He didn't find the humor in that statement at ALL.
They are paving our road today. It is 101 degrees and the humidity will smother you in 1.2 seconds flat. I walked outside just a little bit ago to look at their progress and the tar smell is overwhelming. In my hurry to get back inside, I stepped on a slug in my bare feet. It had been cooked to the wooden slats. Hopping on one foot, grabbing hold of the grill, I heard one of the workers holler, "Sucks, don't it, lady! HAR! HAR!" Smiling, I turned, pointed to the air-conditioner in the window, and waved. Suck THAT, dude. And to think I was going to bring them a pitcher of water! (Which I did, though. This heat is brutal and I'm not cruel by any means.)
OH! And I had to call a little while ago and make an appointment for Breanna to get her meningitis and hepatitis B vaccines. They won't let her in college without them. I told her that I was also going to check to see if she needed a tetanus booster and she said I was evil. I told her that it was for her well-being. She said I should do it with her. Laughing, I said, no. She failed to find the humor in that, too. (Like father, like daughter, I guess.) She is now in her room playing sick under her covers. Poor thing. I'll be sure to remind her later when we have to go get them done.
Ah, but we will make it. We may be whineys but we are together and a family. That's all that matters. A sobering event happened last night as we were preparing for bed...a young man that my daughter knew got into some trouble. His friends and he were arrested for arson. They are over 18 so it is automatic jail time for all of them. Gone is his fall departure for college in a few weeks. Like I told Brian and Breanna, we may have our times, we may pout, we may whine, but there are always others out there who have it worse. Why this young man, who was always a good kid, did what he did is beyond our comprehension but I do know he doesn't exactly have a concrete support system at home. For that, we are to be saddened. I don't condone his actions but I try to always look at the heart. I think he was going along for the ride, wanting acceptance from these people. He was wanting acceptance from ANYBODY, acceptance he most likely does not get from his family.
We accept one another here in this house. If whining is the worst we do, then we definitely have it made! Just something for us ALL to think about today. We should be happy with what we have because it could always be worse, ya KNOW?
Have a great Wednesday, guys. I love you all.
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