STEELKICKIN   28,911
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It's All In The Weeds.

Monday, August 13, 2012

The last few days have been beautiful chaos for me. I was able to get so much accomplished in my department at work and it gives me GREAT satisfaction to be part of such a hard-working team. Without them, I would not have been able to pull off the tasks assigned and call them a complete success. Not the type of person to just carry a clipboard and delegate these tasks between them, I got knee-deep in with them and, well, made myself stiff and sore!

Today I'm off. I miss it. A couple of my coworkers have already called me and updated me on the progress of my modular changes and have asked me key questions about moving forward in certain areas. I'm almost sorry that I am leaving now. And John, my pharmacy manager, called to remind me of coming in Friday morning for him. I had to giggle a little. As if.

Crazy man.

I indulged in a little of R & R this morning. I slept in, did a lazy stretch upon awakening and allowed the sun coming through the slats of my blind to warm my face. Then I smiled. Then I texted Bre. Then I got up with intentions of going to the recliner and busying myself with the remote control. Then I saw these.



Staring at them, I scratched my head. Then I promptly sneezed about four or five times. I am pretty sure they are weeds but my heart suddenly jerked with the realization that my husband picked them for me. (Uhhh-chooo.) I looked for him everywhere, but no Brian. (Uhhh-chooo.) Just as I was about to call his cell (Uhhh-chooo, uhhh-chooo) he walked in the door dirty, sweaty and out of breath.

"I'm up on the hill clearing out that brush...what are we eating today?"
"Uhhh..."
"You cookin'?"
"Chooooo!"
"Whatsa matter with you? Getting sick?"
"No. I just got a little dust up my nose. Did you pick the flowers for me????"

For the first time in a long time I saw him blush a little. Putting his hands on his hips to look "all manly" he did a quick nod and changed the subject.

"Well. Get dressed a little and do something with your bed head. Can't have you goin' in public like that. I've got a reputation to uphold here as having a gorgeous wife."
Smiling, I put my arms around his waist. "What's the occasion?"
"Nothing. Just a little proud of you, is all."

And with that he was back out the door.

I couldn't tell him they were just weeds.

They really aren't anyways. He made them into the some of the most beautiful flowers I've seen in awhile...

Wednesday I return to work to finish out my current position then Friday begins my new chapter. I am excited and, in the midst of the chaos, I am content. Do I dare say even a little peaceful? Perhaps chaos compliments my ever-churning mind? I don't know but I wish I could bottle it like I did the sands of the beach I turn to every now and then to remind me of God's gracefulness.

God bless you all today. (Uhhh-chooo!) You are loved! Thank you for all of your support and prayers. You have made a difference in my life!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 8/26/2012 2:12PM

    What a sweet gesture. Doesn't it just make your heart melt when they do something like this?!
Good luck with your new position and responsibilities. I know you'll be missed by your former co-workers.

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SCOTMAMA 8/15/2012 12:36PM

    He sounds like a keeper, and you have a beautiful marriage!

On the department store -- didn't I tell you they knew you could handle it!
And you not only handled it -- you Ace'd it! emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/15/2012 11:50AM

    Awwwww! Brian is a dear love. A typical man, he just wanted to surprise his beautiful lady and make her......smile! (Never dreaming they'd make her sneeze......hehe) He sure loves you .
Glad you are happy in your new position of work!
Have a super day, my friend! emoticon

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JADOMB 8/14/2012 3:53PM

    Crystal is correct. The horticultural definition of a weed is an unwanted plant. Therefore, if you find a rose in your impatients, it can be deemed a weed. Or, grass is growing in your plant bed, they are now, weeds.

And that weed actually is pretty. Good on him. Have a great day.

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AJDOVER1 8/13/2012 10:51PM

    Dang, he's sweet! Sounds like you're both blessed to have each other! Hope the rest of your day was just as special

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CARTOONB 8/13/2012 10:20PM

    Sometimes the men in our lives surprise us. So good that yours did...in a good way!

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GEEMAWEST 8/13/2012 9:50PM

    When my husband once asked me how you tell the difference between a weed and I flower I repeated to him something I read once - "one person's weeds are another person's flowers." Sounds like it's very true in this case.
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Comment edited on: 8/13/2012 9:51:02 PM

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REDDOGMOM 8/13/2012 8:14PM

    Awww. Glad to see you had an awesome day! I know you've been needing it.

Beautiful weeds emoticon

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BKNOCK 8/13/2012 7:52PM

    How sweet! How is Brian feeling these days?

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NAOLEE 8/13/2012 4:38PM

    The intentions it is what count and your husband had a good intention. He did a work of art emoticon from something we think is not value. emoticon
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.

A garden is a complex of aesthetic and plastic intentions; and the plant is, to a landscape artist, not only a plant - rare, unusual, ordinary or doomed to disappearance - but it is also a color, a shape, a volume or an arabesque in itself. Roberto Burle Marx

A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them. Liberty Hyde Bailey
Your husband did it.
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EILEENXO 8/13/2012 3:10PM

    God bless you, for the sneezing and all. What a wonderfull husband. Continue to enjoy each day as it unfolds.

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CRYSTALZ1 8/13/2012 3:05PM

    By definition, a weed is any plant that grows where it is unwanted. Therefore, your enjoyment and want of this plant makes it not a weed:)

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A Quick Post...

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Everyone that knows me, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve. When God made me He didn't give me any filters in that area, at least I don't think so. I've tried to shush my inner wonderings, workings, questions about life. I've tried to be reserved and "normal," more times than I can count, but then I wake at 2 a.m. either giddy from excitement or reading His Word, trying to find answers or reassurances. I have learned that I cannot stop being who I am, no matter how hard I try, and there are times I really wonder if that is a blessing or a curse.

Am I a good person? Am I really? Am I capable of being a good mother, wife, friend, servant of God? And am I capable of doing this promotion that I received? I look back over the last few years and see where I have fallen short. And with that, I have seen people that I love so very much leave either by death or choice and it hurts to the very core of my soul. I am afraid. I am afraid of losing more loved ones. I am afraid of failing. Perhaps right now I am going through a period of self-doubt like everyone does at some point, yet I am incredibly hard on myself. I recognize that. I know who I am and why I do it but it doesn't make it any easier.

I miss Bre. I miss my youngest son who decided to make choices that were detrimental to his well-being and not contact home. I miss my brother who went Home to be with our Lord. I could go on but I won't. It doesn't serve any purpose but to make others feel bad or myself worse. I know that things happen for a reason but again...it doesn't make it any easier. Nor should it. God allows these things so it will make us stronger. Somehow. Someway. That is my purpose right now...to get to "somehow" and "someway."

I ask for your prayers right now so that I may get back to being your good SparkFriend. So that I may look in my mirror and feel worthy of that friendship. I want to be able to love without smothering, with peace and a gentle calmness. To be able to throw the doubts aside and trust. Trust, especially in myself, is not coming easy right now. Self-worth is also at stake.

Thank you for allowing me to express my concerns. For me, blogging is therapeutic and I never do it for pity or for a stroke to my ego. I do it because it helps me to sort out the good from the bad and MAYBE to just make sure I am normal. I don't know. But, I do know that I don't have to do it alone because I am never TRULY alone as long as I keep God by my side. Let me rephrase that...I am never truly alone as long as I recognize God is at my side, even if I can't "see" Him at the time. He never leaves. Never.

I wish you all a good day from the bottom of my heart. You truly mean very much to me and since joining this site I have felt like I have belonged to something greater than myself. You are all wonderful people and I am so very thankful for you, each and every one of you. You bring a brightness to my day that is immeasurable.

God bless you so much. You are loved. So very much.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEMAWEST 8/13/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/10/2012 9:24AM

    You sound so much like me. It's scary to lose the ones you love, even if they are just going "down the road a piece." I love that you feel you can confide in those of us here who care so deeply about you. I know you have a lot going on right now and it's hard. Remember, two rules: 1. breathe in 2. breathe out. The rest will come. I'll be praying for you my friend!

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CARTOONB 8/10/2012 12:11AM

    You're welcome! Tee hee. I'm glad you feel safe enough to blog. You write very well and I enjoy your posts.

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IMREITE 8/9/2012 9:45PM

    we all have doubt.,sometime we ignore it, cover it up lie about it or are brave like you and open up about it and ask for support. I tend to talk/babble to much to cover my fear and doubt.

I like your idea of praying about it instead.

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TRENTDREAMER 8/9/2012 9:37PM

    "Am I a good person? Am I really? Am I capable of being a good mother, wife, friend, servant of God? And am I capable of doing this promotion that I received? I look back over the last few years and see where I have fallen short. "
* What's God's take on all this?

"I miss Bre. I miss my youngest son who decided to make choices that were detrimental to his well-being and not contact home. I miss my brother who went Home to be with our Lord. "
* emoticon emoticon Really sorry to hear about your son and brother.


"I ask for your prayers right now so that I may get back to being your good SparkFriend. So that I may look in my mirror and feel worthy of that friendship. "
* I've never said this before ever in my life, but I think that this needs to be between you and God.

I don't know what to make of a situation that involves both a God who has made us in His image, redeemed us, sanctifies us and strengthens us and such a sense of needing to feel worthy of friendship.


" Let me rephrase that...I am never truly alone as long as I recognize God is at my side, even if I can't "see" Him at the time. He never leaves. Never."
* John 14:15-20.
Don't settle for Him just being at your side. God totally doesn't want you to.


"God bless you so much. You are loved. So very much. "
* Much love back at you!

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REDDOGMOM 8/9/2012 8:19PM

    I will keep you in my thoughts. emoticon

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JADOMB 8/9/2012 7:27PM

    Never fear my dear friend, God is always with you. It's just that worldly feeling that sometimes confuses us. We all have to go through it from time to time and it's tough, but totally controllable. As long as you lean on God, you always know you are on solid ground. May God continue to watch over you and to comfort you.

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KRITTERKEEPERS 8/9/2012 7:12PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BKNOCK 8/9/2012 5:48PM

    emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/9/2012 4:02PM

    My dear friend, you are so special. The doubts and fears you have are completely normal. God is always by your side, so be comforted. You are so very loved and appreciated. You are totally worthy of your promotion. So love and be loved in that knowledge that God gave you a loving heart and personality to match. emoticon

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IRP1114 8/9/2012 2:20PM

    To me you are completely normal with these thoughts. The people that don't think this way are the ones I do not understand. You are an awesome spark friend and an obviously amazing person. Keep thinking positive and you will continue to make it through any tough times that come your way.
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SCOTMAMA 8/9/2012 1:41PM

    First of all -- you are an individual; and a very interesting one, I'd say. Do not run yourself down. Emotions are good,you are a good-hearted, loving Christian lady who has had both good and bad in your life. It seems that in most families there is always one child who goes astray,sometimes it is drugs, sometimes alcohol, sometimes some other addiction. We can't keep them from doing what they want to do, the same way we can't control another person's life. That's why it is important for you to be the best person YOU can be, and try to let the rest of it go.

Look for the silver lining in every cloud -- it's what I try to do! emoticon

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KATRINAKAT23 8/9/2012 1:41PM

  I get your blog . We all go through times of doubt about ourselves. You seem to have a good handle on it and will come through it with flying colors. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/9/2012 1:41:52 PM

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Hizzle Chillin'!

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Well, it's on. Totally break-neck-speed on. I've done everything now that the pharmacy division wants done so now I wait. My manager told me this a.m. that John, the pharmacy manager, has aggravated the snot out of her to get me replaced a.s.a.p. so he can attain me. She seemed perturbed. Her explanation was that she was not in any hurry to lose me and he needed to back off or lose a finger or two.

Feels good to know that I'm valued enough that there could be bloodshed. Boosts my ego, sadly. I even asked if I could watch.

Last night I was a little down from missing Bre. It's only been a few days but her texts and phone calls were telling me that she was unusually homesick so I spontaneously jumped in my truck and made my way northeast. This is what was waiting for me...

She was at her hizzle. Chillin'. And why is "explosives" written on the grocery list above her whereabouts???


This must be her hizzle. Mental note: hizzle=picnic table behind her apartment. What a drama mama.


It was nice sitting outside talking to my girl. She seemed relaxed, content. We got caught up on the last few days. She is excited about the pool that they are putting in right behind her place even though I don't understand why. Like her momma, she is afraid of water. So I guess she thinks like I do. For what she is paying for rent it oughtta come with everything. Like spa, pool, gym, and Gerard Butler. I would travel up every single day for...the spa. Cough, cough.

And on top of all this great news, I am anxiously awaiting my trip south. I've even started packing although we aren't scheduled to leave until the end of September. We are only taking a carry-on, too, so I may be jumping the gun but Lord knows I need to get away. It's been a whirlwind of ups and downs lately and I need to replenish, rejuvenate, re-evaluate. The first think I'm going to do there is run full-speed in my bare feet to the edge of the ocean waves and take a deeeeeep breath. I swear, there I believe I can touch the face of God.

I'm thankful for my life. Thankful for my beautiful daughter, my dear friends, my family. I may not have the best of luck all the time but I'm learning what REALLY matters. I'm learning, too, to take opportunities by the horns. So, I guess that means looking forward with hope and faith. Not trepidation. It's difficult at times, yes. Life has handed us all some sour grapes and a giant lemon here or there. But it pays to wait for the good days and they will surely come. Within them are blessings to carry us during the bad days...

Okay. Gotta get ready for work. Then tonight I'm going to get home and relax. Or should I say, in the words of my daughter, get chillin' in my hizzle? Either way...

God bless you all today. You are loved.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDDOGMOM 8/9/2012 8:16PM

    Come hang out on the back deck. We'll install a hizzle just for you. You can listen to the creek, watch fireflies and just relax.

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AJDOVER1 8/8/2012 9:12AM

    Maybe it's good that explosives aren't such an automatic purchase -- she still has to remind herself to buy them....

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3016DEBRA 8/8/2012 8:46AM

  Loved this blog! emoticon

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USFBULL 8/8/2012 12:32AM

    Now I know what a Hizzle is, I was so not connecting the synapse gap. I have to agree with Cartoon about watching the bloodshed, and how cool of a triage explanation would that be, LOL At least they would have the medication for treatment..... I digress ....
sorry back with you, thanks for the blog and guess that little mustard seed has grown a bit. Woohoo! emoticon emoticon

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CARTOONB 8/8/2012 12:08AM

    You would be weird (okay weirder) if you didn't want to watch the bloodshed at work! LOL!

How else would you remember to get explosives if you don't put them on the grocery list? emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/7/2012 6:38PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JADOMB 8/7/2012 6:30PM

    Good news all the way around. Keep the faith. and keep chillin' in the hizzle.

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IRP1114 8/7/2012 5:28PM

    Lol I was wondering why that was the title ;-)! Glad you got a chance to spend some time with her. Way to stay positive. I agree with the way you are looking at things right now. It always seems that the more we go through in life the more we appreciate all the little things and all the real important things in life.



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SLS-NY2IN 8/7/2012 5:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BKNOCK 8/7/2012 4:27PM

    Glad you got to see Bre! I am at my hizzle chillin too! Having a great time in your state!

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SHARON10002 8/7/2012 4:10PM

    It's emoticon that you are in such high demand! That always makes us feel good about ourselves. We rarely get complimented or noted for our hard work. I would have been the same way - wanting a ringside seat to watch the battle! emoticon Let the fun begin!

Love the picture of your daughter. Is that your son or her BF next to her?
Where are you going on your vacation? Ocean can't be all bad . . .

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KATRINAKAT23 8/7/2012 4:09PM

  Your daughter is very lucky to have a mother like you. I would of loved to have a mother that loved me that much.

Your up coming holiday sounds divine. You will surely have a blast. I look forward to hearing all about it.

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CALIMAN1 8/7/2012 4:07PM

    Wonderful blog as always...congrats on the pharm division change..I think it will be awesome for YOU and for THEM...they are getting a fabulous lady. They will be better simply by adding you to their team. The rest is icing....

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Photo Blog

Sunday, August 05, 2012

I've been super windy the last few days so I think today I'll just share some pictures of my beautiful grandbabies. It's hard to believe how much they've grown!

This is Ayanna...


This is ReaAnne. Both of these pics were taken this morning at Vacation Bible School. (ReaAnne is most like me. Note the tattoo on her upper right arm and missing teeth from brawling. That's m' girl!)






This is the BABY...Jaycee Brielle. She has grown like a weed and already knows how to use her Mom's iPhone.
















This pic was taken last fall of me and my girls. My hair really didn't stand a chance that day...


Neither did my toes...


Just last week at Myrtle Beach...my son Bobby and ReaAnne.


Ayanna swims like Grandma...


Get out, Ayanna! Ronnie just peed in the pool!!!!!!


Dressed up for a night on the town with the girls...


Heavens, I could go on and on. I have hundreds upon hundreds of pics of my little angels. For now, have a great day, Sparkies. I will share more later on. God bless and will see you soon.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDDOGMOM 8/9/2012 8:18PM

    I want one! They're precious!

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GEEMAWEST 8/7/2012 11:51PM

    I can't believe how much they've grown. They're beautiful, just like Grandma.

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SHARON10002 8/7/2012 4:17PM

    What cute pictures! Love the little Birthday Princess dress, and what more can I say about those green toenails! I'm a little more than one month out from our first grand-baby. . . . can't wait!
Do you live close enough to get to see them frequently?

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3016DEBRA 8/6/2012 8:52PM

  Grandbabies are the BEST!!! Just enjoy every precious moment as I know you do! emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/6/2012 6:17PM

    Pretty girls! emoticon emoticon

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LOLAINSC 8/6/2012 3:13PM

    Thanks for sharing those pictures just to warm our little hearts...not like you are bananas crazy about those baby girls or anything.
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Comment edited on: 8/6/2012 3:15:56 PM

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JADOMB 8/6/2012 2:25PM

    Bless their little pee picking hearts.

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MARATHONDAD 8/6/2012 8:35AM

    very cute pictures

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STEVENGO2 8/6/2012 12:27AM

    Soo cute! Thanks for sharing these pictures! You have awesome looking grandchildren!

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CARTOONB 8/5/2012 9:45PM

    One of these days, you'll be proud of those grand kids! Cuties!

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BKNOCK 8/5/2012 8:43PM

    They have gotten so big! So cute!

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KICK-SS 8/5/2012 8:16PM

    I had to chuckle at your Granddaughter using Mom's phone. This morning, I was at the grocery store and there was a little girl in the seat on the grocery cart, just about that age and she had Mom's phone and Mom was shopping and the little one was just a jabbering away on the phone (to no one, I'm sure) But it was soooo cute!!



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MAKINANIMPACT 8/5/2012 8:09PM

    Your granddaughter's are so very cute! Have a great week!


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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/5/2012 7:25PM

    Oh how I enjoyed your pictures. Such beautiful girls! I'm so jealous. I want blue and green toes!

TY for sharing!!!

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IRP1114 8/5/2012 7:00PM

    Aww :-) very cute! You must be so proud to have such beautiful granddaughters.

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Aren't You Glad We Didn't Drive?

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Florida.

I'm getting excited about the thought. There are times I think I can still smell the salty oceanic air from last year. I have to admit, sometimes I sneak into my closet and open up the water bottle that I stuffed sand into last year. I pour a little on my hand and feel the granules on my palms and even sniff it with a starry-eyed smile. So many beautiful memories there with my two sisters and niece. (Some a little blurry from the watermelon my sister laced with an alcoholic beverage. It tasted a little tangy but as the younger sister and more gullible, I believed them when they said Florida watermelons were SUPPOSED to taste like that and the more you eat, you can hear the ocean.)

There are going to be differences this year, though. Instead of driving, we are flying. Amen to that. (I loooove flying.) Again, as the younger sister, last year I was the one nominated to sit in the back between the mountainous suitcases, picnic basket, coolers and trash bags full of empty pop cans and Little Debbie wrappers. I was so buried, there was a time we went through the drive-thru to get something to eat and they forgot me. They told me they would get me the next time around. Breakfast. ("Here, Michelle, eat this Slim Jim. It should still be good.") When I protested I could not find my seat belt before peeling out onto the interstate, they said, "Suck it up. You're not going anywhere." and I had to agree. Kinda hard to fly through the windshield when the niece you picked up in Alabama has squeezed you into a two-inch slit between her suitcases and the door jam. (The window still has my nostril prints on it.)

I learned that I could not sleep in the back seat either. First of all, there was no way to lie down. I found a semi-comfortable spot between the shoe bags and cosmetic cases, making a conscious effort to relax my neck muscles. Just as I started to doze off, my sister slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting a driver who cut us off. My head flew forward into the back of the front seat. I don't know how or why but one of my false eyelashes twisted off and went up my left nostril. Between the chaos of choice words from Marie and the flying middle finger of Becky, the GPS Lady kept saying, "Turn left. Turn left. Turn left." To which we all screamed, "OH SHUT UP!!!" My eyes barely blinked the next fifty miles. It felt like I had received an I.V. of twenty cups of coffee and someone or something had sprayed caffeine directly into my eyes.

The leg cramps were horrible. The country music was getting twangy-er by the hour. I had begun to see images in the backs of my sisters' heads like you do when you lie on the grass and look for animals in the clouds. I began feeling like GPS Lady was family and each time she told us a new route to go I said, "Aww, bless her heart."

But this year, alas, we are traveling by air. My sisters are nervous about it as they have never flown before. That will be interesting. They each have called me several times to get the inside scoop on what it feels like to drift in and out of the clouds. After the initial shock of my telling them they will be strip-searched (for security reasons) and that turbulence feels like a bad roller coaster ride on acid, they have bought enough dramamine to knock out an elephant. Hee hee. I know. My bad. But it just feels necessary. (I even reminded them of the Twilight show with William Shatner that portrayed the thing straddling the wing of the plane, throwing things into the engine. They didn't crack a smile. Apparently they didn't like that episode.)

Ohhhhhh, they will be fine. Once we land I may have to push them through the airport on the luggage rack, but they will be OKAY! I will even be nice and let one of them have my window seat on the way there. See? That's what I will tell them. "See? Down there. Waaaaay down there. Way waaaay down there. Aren't you glad we didn't drive? I AM!!"

Have a beautiful Sunday, folks. God bless you all. You are loved.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARTOONB 8/5/2012 2:05PM

    I'm sure you'll be able to continue to reassure your sisters as the trip nears. Please do share with us those "assurances". Siblings deserve all of the "love" we share with them!! LOL!

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REDDOGMOM 8/5/2012 12:13PM

    You are evil! lol Too funny. Have a great time.

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KATRINAKAT23 8/5/2012 11:56AM

  Have fun!!

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WORKNGONMENOW 8/5/2012 10:47AM

    Have fun in florida, stay away from those jellyfishes.
love ya

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BKNOCK 8/5/2012 9:45AM

    Wow you really crack me up! I am sure you will have fun!

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SLS-NY2IN 8/5/2012 9:19AM

    Have a fantastic time!!! Never try drying a starfish in a microwave!!!!!to transport home. It is a smell of ocean you will neverrrrrr forget. I don't know how they do the ones they sell but I can tell you never try this.

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JOHNTJ1 8/5/2012 9:01AM

    Namaste my dear friend. Enjoy your vacation and its memories

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JUNIAATROME 8/5/2012 8:24AM

    hate turbulence! Due to fly to Prague on the 24th. Will see sister the week following and LOOKING forward to that. Sisters are special! emoticon

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SALGUOD2 8/5/2012 7:12AM

    yeah, drove to Tampa once, never again.

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IAM_HIS2 8/5/2012 4:39AM

    Have a wonderful trip!! Yep, you sure are loved!!!

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JADOMB 8/5/2012 2:11AM

    Yep, sure am. ;-)

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