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Pick Yourself Back Up. You're Strong.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Need to feel a little inspired? Try these on for size.







































But even when you feel you can't, just remember....



God bless you today. You are loved.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRIANGLE-WOMAN 8/30/2012 6:25PM

    Love this so much.

"Trust Your Struggle" made me pause and catch my breath. Liked that one a lot...


..ღ
734;
(`♥) .♥.*`*♫.♥
.*..♥ Spread the Spark


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SHARON10002 8/26/2012 1:59PM

    These were all great! Thanks for the inspiration and motivation today. Love the Marilyn Monroe quote and picture. I've been thinking about her these last few days and how when I was growing up she was the ultimate sex symbol. She wasn't "thin skinny" like many of today's models and stars ; she was curvy. All our young girls want to be a size 0 these days.
All emoticonquotes. emoticon
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KAILYNSTAR 8/25/2012 7:03PM

    Thanks for the inspiration. I really like the Marilyn Monroe one!

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SCOTMAMA 8/25/2012 11:34AM

    Wonderful inspiration! I copied a few of them, so Thanks!

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OLDERDANDRT 8/25/2012 9:14AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOLAINSC 8/24/2012 8:38PM

    Very inspirational indeed. Thanks for sharing--who doesn't need a little nudge.
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GIRANIMAL 8/24/2012 1:23PM

    Great stuff! Thanks so much for the nudge. emoticon Always appreciated!

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ASTALANYA 8/24/2012 9:12AM

    What a great collection. Thanks!

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46SHADOW 8/24/2012 9:03AM

    Great quotes. Even quoted you on my status update.

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JOHNTJ1 8/24/2012 8:09AM

    "A jug fills one drop at a time."

Good stuff

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AJDOVER1 8/23/2012 11:12PM

    great selection! really inspirational

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CARTOONB 8/23/2012 10:19PM

    The lion in the mirror is my favorite!

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BKNOCK 8/23/2012 7:57PM

    emoticon

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JADOMB 8/23/2012 4:20PM

    You left out, "shut up and sweat". LOL But the others work too. great job.

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HOLMGIRL4 8/23/2012 4:12PM

    I loved this blog! Thank you for the inspiration!!


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REDDOGMOM 8/23/2012 1:21PM

    Very inspiring! Thank you!

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MRE1956 8/23/2012 7:02AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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MYTURN11 8/23/2012 6:57AM

    Awesome ~ thank you for posting this morning! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FAERY_FACE 8/23/2012 5:52AM

    Thank you much. It is amazing!

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BRADMILL2922 8/23/2012 3:13AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRITTERKEEPERS 8/23/2012 2:41AM

    emoticon

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THEBETH43 8/23/2012 2:33AM

    Excellent!

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VIMVIGOR 8/23/2012 1:58AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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A Slice Of Realization

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I ran across this old photo of me...



Note the fruit on the table. Note my look of pure joy as I disregard the fruit and eye up the cake. Do you notice my right hand pulling up my left sleeve?? I was thinking, "Just say 'when,' Momma, and I'm IN that!"

My mother was a beautiful woman. She had the patience of a goddess (with six kids, nonetheless) and was an INCREDIBLE cook. As much as I know she meant well by baking up a storm for us while we were young, I have to "blame" her for my love of all things sweet. For every occasion there was a pie, cake, turnover, homemade rolls, etc, etc. From funerals to graduations, to getting "A's" and "B's" on our report cards, we celebrated. With food. And we traded recipes like baseball cards. I was willing to draw blood over the pecan pie recipe. (I think I DID, come to think of it...)

I look back now and see that I did the same thing with my kids. Everything had to be "made better" with food. For whatever ailed you, I had a recipe, for learning to swim, I had a recipe, "you-broke-up-with-who?," I had a recipe...food, food, food. And not just any food. Pretty decorated cupcakes, gorgeous big cookies, the bigger the better. (Note picture above again...is it just me or is that cake really tall???)

Okay. So, I could sit here and "blame" Mom for what I know is the right way now. But, I'M the one who has been slipping up. I've been feeling crummy, too, and my energy levels, although still somewhat high, are lagging behind. It seems like I've been gaining, losing, regaining, the same eight pounds for a year now. All because I can't put down the chocolate or the pecan pie. Yeah...it's okay to have a slice here or there. But my "here or there" has been coming about two or three times a week!!

A Spark friend uses the term, "Just shut up and sweat!" He's got the right idea. Quit belly achin' about it and just close your mouth and get to it. Looks like it's my turn now.

Sigh.

Okay, before signing off for now, I just want to share one more pic of me. That is my mother on the left. She is the angel that came to take me as her daughter two weeks into my life. I think she would be proud of the way I've been living my life now. In fact, I know she is...



God bless you all. You are loved. Big time!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 8/27/2012 10:10PM

    Food was big in my house too. I think it was part of the time and the culture we grew up in. Women were coming out of a major war time with rationing shortages, and then they had all of this food again.
I have a real sweet tooth to so I can definitely sympathize. I actually envy people who say, "I don't like sweets."
Your pictures are so cute, and you can tell you were so loved by your mom!
I believe the saying - everything in moderation, and yes, it is hard to do.
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GIRANIMAL 8/24/2012 1:30PM

    Ah, yes, I had that mom too! These days I "can't" enjoy any of those goodies because I've given up gluten, dairy and eggs to tame my fibro-related IBS. It has helped, but I sure do miss the occasional celebratory goodie! Of course, like you, I have a hard time with moderation, so I'm thinking this might be for the best in the long run anyway. But it's in those moments that I also realize I wish I had more non-food-related feel-good memories of celebration and such! Our loving moms sure meant only the best by sharing their amazing talents with food, though, didn't they? How can we "blame" them for that?
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FITGRL124 8/20/2012 8:50PM

    I have one of those types of Mom's too and as much as I love her dearly, I wish we could have celebrated without food.

Your pictures are quite lovely. You can do it!! Just keep going!

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TRENTDREAMER 8/20/2012 8:39PM

    "Note the fruit on the table. Note my look of pure joy as I disregard the fruit and eye up the cake. "
* Fruit does not give the same sugar rush as cake. If a small child were eyeing the fruit instead of the cake, I would be really confused.


"As much as I know she meant well by baking up a storm for us while we were young, I have to "blame" her for my love of all things sweet. For every occasion there was a pie, cake, turnover, homemade rolls, etc, etc"
* Her generation hadn't seen the obesity levels and activity levels of the American children respectively rise and plummet as they have.


" And not just any food. Pretty decorated cupcakes, gorgeous big cookies, the bigger the better. (Note picture above again...is it just me or is that cake really tall???) "
* hugs.


"All because I can't put down the chocolate or the pecan pie. Yeah...it's okay to have a slice here or there. But my "here or there" has been coming about two or three times a week!! "
* You use the word "can't"... (see next *)

"Quit belly achin' about it and just close your mouth and get to it. Looks like it's my turn now. "
* ...and yet your very next paragraph is about how you are going to just have to do it...

...You know, the thing that you just said that you can't do.


Question:
Where does it come from?

Not "just sayin'"

Much love,
- TD

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OLDERDANDRT 8/20/2012 4:44PM

    What a beautiful baby you were. Not surprising as you grew up to be quite the beauty!! No, I'm not just asying a nice thing here, you are beautiful inside and out!! emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/20/2012 11:49AM

    I loved these pictures. I had one of those baking/cooking moms too. I find food is still where I turn for comfort. I need to fix that.

Thanks for posting these!

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FATHINSN 8/20/2012 2:45AM

    I guess we still have lots of things to learn ourselves other than what we seen from our parents

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IAM_HIS2 8/19/2012 7:03AM

    Thank you for sharing this blog...so much love in your words.

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GEEMAWEST 8/18/2012 11:40PM

    What a cutie you were. That explains why you're so beautiful now. We learn so much from our mothers and your mother would be so proud of you now.

You've come a long way baby! emoticon

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SLS-NY2IN 8/18/2012 10:19PM

    emoticon

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REDDOGMOM 8/18/2012 6:18PM

    What wonderful pictures. You must know you were truly loved and delighted in. Thanks for sharing.

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NO_SNOW_BODY 8/18/2012 5:21PM

    precious picture, you are on a fantastic journey because of your momma's love

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JADOMB 8/18/2012 3:57PM

    I feel your pain. I was raised on a ranch. Steak, 3 times a day and lots of other food along with it. The thing is, that generation came from a generation that worked off all that food and actually needed it. Our generations after that have slowly become the "lack of exercise" generations. The only way folks can work it off nowadays is to be active in sports.

It has just taken a few overweight generations to finally start to realize that we just don't need all that food for what we do now. So don't be too hard on our loving parents that just didn't know we were going to have it as easy as we do today. Keep the faith. And SHUT UP AND SWEAT. ;-)

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KAILYNSTAR 8/18/2012 7:55AM

    Going up in that attic brought forth some major memories!

I love the pictures. You were loved so much!

I know that I didn't suffer from cakes, cookies, rolls, etc. My Mom didn't make them that often and when we were old enough to bake and cook...That's what we did. Otherwise, we would have STARVED!!!! emoticon

Thanks for sharing. One day, I'm going to have to blog about my Mommy.

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BKNOCK 8/18/2012 7:29AM

    Wow, what a cutie pie you were and you can tell your mama loved you just by the look on her face. What a precious memory!

That is still the way inmy family. You just have to learn to say no! Can you imagine celebrating your birthday with a spinach salad?

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BOB240 8/18/2012 3:53AM

    In defence of your mom.... There was a big bowl of fruit there... many wouldn't do that!

You're a grandmother!!!! no way..

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JUNIAATROME 8/18/2012 1:49AM

    I think this 'mend it with food attitude' must be a mom-delusion thing! So hear you on this... so done it myself. But: my kids have already learned and they do not have their own kids yet. Hope that's a cycle broken there :)
And yes, you've got a lovely mom and I agree with Barbs you are very cute!

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FLEMIDG 8/18/2012 12:59AM

    Thanks so much for sharing the lovely pictures and stories. God bless you.

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JANTWO 8/18/2012 12:30AM

    How precious you were and are!!!! You were blessed with a wonderful mother. Great blog!!!!

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CHERIRIDDELL 8/18/2012 12:28AM

    I was going to say you were cute as pie until I realized what I had said .I think all our Mum's medicated with food mine sure did .You are a loveely child and still lovelier now !

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CARTOONB 8/18/2012 12:21AM

    Awwww! Look how cute you were! (you're still cute, with a touch of goddess thrown in). Love the look on your face, getting ready to serve the cake! I still get that look! Ha!

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What's In YOUR Attic?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I got a great walk in early this a.m. and decided to go rummage around in the attic. It's been a long time since I've been up there. Like years? The possibility of finding some old photo albums aided me in overcoming my fear of "something" living up there and biting the tar out of me. So, after smashing a few of my toes with the ladder, I crawled through the door of the ceiling and looked around hesitantly. Wow. Once I saw the cedar chests and boxes stacked neatly around, I couldn't wait to dig in. So many years of accumulated "treasures" beckoned me and I felt my heart begin to race.

I saw my old roller skates hanging on a nail on the wall and I immediately tossed them through the door, hearing them "clunk" and "clank" on the floor below. Opening the top to one of the chests I immediately saw my Dad's World War II medals. Sitting on the floor I picked up each one and held them in my palms...he was a Prisoner of War, ya know. A paratrooper in the U.S. Army. Once he retired from the service he worked on the railroad. I have precious memories of him...he passed away when I was three but I remember him coming home from work and grabbing me up in his arms. Before bed every night he would brush my hair and sing to me. Next to those were photo albums, very old ones, of my grandfather and grandmother. They were huge travelers. They had this giant silver RV that went everywhere from the west to east coast and she had the most awful collection of sea shells and little tin trays with pictures painted on them. I laughed when I saw the picture of Grandma hiking her skirt up just above her knee and Grandpa touching it and grinning like a cheshire cat. He knew he had a sexy mama. :)

The more I looked around, I became a little nostalgic for the past years. I had boxes upon boxes of my kids school papers and little crafty things that they had made me over the years. Their hands were permanently imprinted in molds and painted a variety of colors with the little labels, although somewhat faded, of the year they were made in. Little faces glued on Christmas bulbs. Little faces glued on rocks that were bathed in psychedelic glitter. Little faces glued on everything that anything could be glued on...sigh. I found some of their old toys, too. Breanna's Barbies looked as if they had a terrible rough life. Some were given haircuts, Crayola marker makeovers and tattoos in the oddest places of the oddest things. But I had kept them. Even the Ken who was wearing Barbie's bikini. (What is it with this family and wanting men to look like women???)

I found Paul's old student microscope and his little trousers. Breanna's baby shoes and dresses. My gosh, so much stuff in such a little amount of time. Why does life seem so long at times but in retrospect seem so short? It just seemed like yesterday Brian and I went to the Scorpions concert and I accidentally busted his chin with my gyrating-pumping-to-the-beat moves. I felt so bad that I bought him this Scorpions t-shirt.

Other things just didn't make sense to me. Why were Spiegel catalogues up here? Do they even make Spiegel catalogues anymore? And why did I keep that old Halloween costume from my senior year? I was the Bride of Frankenstein. (Please. No, smart aleck remarks here. Brian gives me enough of those already.) It was then I also ran across something else that I am deeeeply ashamed of. I could barely look at them with both eyes. In fact I closed one eye and glanced at them intermittently and from a side angle.

My "X-Files" Mulder and Scully dolls. They were still in their packages because I was sure they would be worth something some day. And beneath them were my VHS tapes of every episode of the show. I had an incredible crush on David Duchovny at the time. Ewww. Just....ewwwww, okay? I can't begin to tell you how disturbed I feel right now.

8-tracks, cassette tapes, vinyl, it was all there. An old record player to play them on. Credence Clearwater Revival 45s and yearbooks from days gone by. An old iron and ironing board. Tools. (TOOLS!!!!??! Throwing them through the door in the floor, I was gleefully reminded that finders are keepers!) Pots and pans, an old vacuum cleaner and a spittoon. Yes. A spittoon.

That's just one side. I had to get down from there so I could make lunch (and hide my tools!) before Brian came back in. OH! And remind me later to ask Brian why there is a stack of 1970s and early 80s Playboys next to the old dehumidifier up there? He isn't getting much for dinner. I can tell you that.

Off to try out my skates. If you don't hear from me in a few days you know I'm in a sling somewhere, grinning from ear-to-ear because it was fun while it lasted. Pretty amazing how memories can suddenly give you a Spark of energy, huh? I wonder how many calories you burn roller skating?

Have a great day, Sparkloves. God bless you! Abundantly. Over and over again.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 8/26/2012 2:06PM

    If you still like David Duchovney you need to watch "Return To Me". It's one of my all time favs that I can watch over and over and over again.

I had an old stereo record player too until the mid 70s. Had metal roller skates with a skate key, ice skates from when I was in high school, an old baseball mitt, lots of things. It's such a trip down memory lane when you find these again. I've long gotten rid of all of this, but your blog brought all these nice childhood memories back. Being a military family for 20 years did not allow for much accumulation because we moved every 2.5 years.

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SCOTMAMA 8/25/2012 11:44AM

    What a wonderful stroll down memory lane! I don't actually have an "attic" so all my stuff would be in my head. But I look at my meticulous files every so often to recollect what is there. I do that also to try and keep Alzheimer's at bay. lol

I was also a fan of the X-Files -- and if they were still on, I'd still be there glued to the TV watching!

Hugs, Eve

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CHERIRIDDELL 8/16/2012 12:24AM

    LOL if I got on my roller skates (all the while singing Melanie'sI've got a brand new pair of roller skates you've got a brand new key.....) my husband would have me committed !!!!!!

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JUNIAATROME 8/15/2012 3:54PM

    Please, I've got an attic here and would need a courageous lady to climb up there and tackle it! I've been looking for my Greek language diploma for some years now and I am sure that it has sneaked up there to the dangerous place!

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OLDERDANDRT 8/15/2012 11:39AM

    What great finds in your adventure to your past! And I'm thinking roller skating burns plenty of calories! (Congrats on nabbing those tools!!)
Can't wait to hear what you find on the other side!!! But you should check that out before you mention the Playboys to Brian........just sayin'! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FATHINSN 8/15/2012 12:38AM

    My house don't have attic but we have a small building outside our house to store old things and inside the house, in hidden areas or some boxes. Whenever I do cleanup and found old stuffs, it's make me warm and fuzzy to see those memories, even those bad :D I also have old roller blades (the only one I ever have in my life), perhaps I can try to find them and see if I can survive the experience, hehe.

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AJDOVER1 8/14/2012 11:02PM

    If you're the Bride of Frankenstein, what does that make Brian?

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CARTOONB 8/14/2012 10:48PM

    Now I want an attic so I can go explore!

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TRENTDREAMER 8/14/2012 10:22PM

    "So many years of accumulated "treasures" beckoned me and I felt my heart begin to race. "
* :)

"Why does life seem so long at times but in retrospect seem so short?"
* Because time is a sifter that great golden moments and memories of life sit in while the bad sandy ones fall though and descend back to the ground from whence they came.

(or in my case it's just repression. Most of the 2000's before 2007 are long gone.). Just sayin'

"Why were Spiegel catalogues up here? Do they even make Spiegel catalogues anymore? "
* Better! They're on FaceBook.
http://www.facebook.co
m/Spiegel


" I had an incredible crush on David Duchovny at the time. Ewww. Just....ewwwww, okay? I can't begin to tell you how disturbed I feel right now. "
* I watched that show once. It didn't seem weird at the time. When I saw previews of it on Hulu recently I was like, "Whoah, that's strange. was it in the two main actors' contracts that they couldn't film an episode if either of them had slept in the last 72 hours?"


"And why did I keep that old Halloween costume from my senior year? I was the Bride of Frankenstein. (Please. No, smart aleck remarks here. Brian gives me enough of those already.)"
* OK, I'll be good (this time)

"before Brian came back in. OH! And remind me later to ask Brian why there is a stack of 1970s and early 80s Playboys next to the old dehumidifier up there? "
* OK, don't forget to ask him that. See? I'm honoring requests today.

"Have a great day, Sparkloves. God bless you!"
* You as well!

Comment edited on: 8/14/2012 10:25:11 PM

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BKNOCK 8/14/2012 9:43PM

    Please be careful on those skates! Wow, your attic sounds like a lot more fun than mine!

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SLS-NY2IN 8/14/2012 7:47PM

    emoticonWhat a fun time and emoticonfor sharing with your emoticon's. emoticonSherry

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STARPESCADO 8/14/2012 7:29PM

    Hee hee heee - I had a crush on Mulder too!

Glad U had fun with the memories ; )

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IAM_HIS2 8/14/2012 4:59PM

    Enjoyed hearing about your memories. They are so special--no one can take them from us. emoticon

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KAILYNSTAR 8/14/2012 4:54PM

    How nice of you to share your memories with us. My memories are still scattered around the house. I still have dirty handprints on my walls. I have Mother's day presents in my bedroom.

My oldest child is 16 now and my youngest is 11. Time is going so fast and I just wish that I could savor it more.

Good luck on the skates. I don't have any, but one day...I'm going to take out my bicycle and see if I can still ride it. emoticon

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JADOMB 8/14/2012 4:02PM

    Oh the treasure trove. Someday I'll have to do more deep investigating of things of old. I too love to have my memories brought to surface. Most the time I can't hold back my tears. Most of our things are of the kids and all their things, but still some is ours "before children". Oh the days of low responsibilities and carefree choices.

Which reminds me, where did I put my old playboy book collection? I digress, hmmmmm............OK, on with the search, I know I put them somewhere. LOL



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SHARON10002 8/14/2012 2:28PM

    Wow, you have quite a bit in your attic. While we have some "stuff" we don't have as much as we would probably have because being in the military forced you to "hoe out" every couple of years. We had weight allowances, and if you went over you paid for the overage, and it was not cheap! So you shipped only what was absolutely necessary.

However, when my parents passed away, I got to go through all of the stuff they had kept. I don't think my Dad threw anything out! I found toys and games from my childhood, baby things for me, and old suitcases of theirs, and more. Found an old skateboard I fashioned out of a piece of wood and the front and back wheels of my old metal roller skates - the kind that use a skate key. While we find some treasures, we wonder why in the world we kept some of this stuff for so long!

Hope you have fun skating!

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BELLYDOG 8/14/2012 2:15PM

    And now I am feeling deprived because I don't use my attic for storage. And hubby is thanking his lucky stars! Actually, when we moved from Africa to the UK our shipment got moldy. I was in shock for awhile, all sorts of stuff had to be tossed. Wedding gifts we'd had for 28 years, college notes, clothing, books, boxsprings and mattresses, et cetera. Had to have the furniture cleaned and sterilized. We took lots of photos of the damge. Did manage to recue all 300 African fabrics though. Most were mold free, but the few that weren't I had cleaned and sterilized. Thank heavens that the photo albums and keepsakes were already here as we took them with us. Memories are important.

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 8/14/2012 2:09PM

    Great blog!

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It's All In The Weeds.

Monday, August 13, 2012

The last few days have been beautiful chaos for me. I was able to get so much accomplished in my department at work and it gives me GREAT satisfaction to be part of such a hard-working team. Without them, I would not have been able to pull off the tasks assigned and call them a complete success. Not the type of person to just carry a clipboard and delegate these tasks between them, I got knee-deep in with them and, well, made myself stiff and sore!

Today I'm off. I miss it. A couple of my coworkers have already called me and updated me on the progress of my modular changes and have asked me key questions about moving forward in certain areas. I'm almost sorry that I am leaving now. And John, my pharmacy manager, called to remind me of coming in Friday morning for him. I had to giggle a little. As if.

Crazy man.

I indulged in a little of R & R this morning. I slept in, did a lazy stretch upon awakening and allowed the sun coming through the slats of my blind to warm my face. Then I smiled. Then I texted Bre. Then I got up with intentions of going to the recliner and busying myself with the remote control. Then I saw these.



Staring at them, I scratched my head. Then I promptly sneezed about four or five times. I am pretty sure they are weeds but my heart suddenly jerked with the realization that my husband picked them for me. (Uhhh-chooo.) I looked for him everywhere, but no Brian. (Uhhh-chooo.) Just as I was about to call his cell (Uhhh-chooo, uhhh-chooo) he walked in the door dirty, sweaty and out of breath.

"I'm up on the hill clearing out that brush...what are we eating today?"
"Uhhh..."
"You cookin'?"
"Chooooo!"
"Whatsa matter with you? Getting sick?"
"No. I just got a little dust up my nose. Did you pick the flowers for me????"

For the first time in a long time I saw him blush a little. Putting his hands on his hips to look "all manly" he did a quick nod and changed the subject.

"Well. Get dressed a little and do something with your bed head. Can't have you goin' in public like that. I've got a reputation to uphold here as having a gorgeous wife."
Smiling, I put my arms around his waist. "What's the occasion?"
"Nothing. Just a little proud of you, is all."

And with that he was back out the door.

I couldn't tell him they were just weeds.

They really aren't anyways. He made them into the some of the most beautiful flowers I've seen in awhile...

Wednesday I return to work to finish out my current position then Friday begins my new chapter. I am excited and, in the midst of the chaos, I am content. Do I dare say even a little peaceful? Perhaps chaos compliments my ever-churning mind? I don't know but I wish I could bottle it like I did the sands of the beach I turn to every now and then to remind me of God's gracefulness.

God bless you all today. (Uhhh-chooo!) You are loved! Thank you for all of your support and prayers. You have made a difference in my life!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 8/26/2012 2:12PM

    What a sweet gesture. Doesn't it just make your heart melt when they do something like this?!
Good luck with your new position and responsibilities. I know you'll be missed by your former co-workers.

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SCOTMAMA 8/15/2012 12:36PM

    He sounds like a keeper, and you have a beautiful marriage!

On the department store -- didn't I tell you they knew you could handle it!
And you not only handled it -- you Ace'd it! emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/15/2012 11:50AM

    Awwwww! Brian is a dear love. A typical man, he just wanted to surprise his beautiful lady and make her......smile! (Never dreaming they'd make her sneeze......hehe) He sure loves you .
Glad you are happy in your new position of work!
Have a super day, my friend! emoticon

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JADOMB 8/14/2012 3:53PM

    Crystal is correct. The horticultural definition of a weed is an unwanted plant. Therefore, if you find a rose in your impatients, it can be deemed a weed. Or, grass is growing in your plant bed, they are now, weeds.

And that weed actually is pretty. Good on him. Have a great day.

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AJDOVER1 8/13/2012 10:51PM

    Dang, he's sweet! Sounds like you're both blessed to have each other! Hope the rest of your day was just as special

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CARTOONB 8/13/2012 10:20PM

    Sometimes the men in our lives surprise us. So good that yours did...in a good way!

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GEEMAWEST 8/13/2012 9:50PM

    When my husband once asked me how you tell the difference between a weed and I flower I repeated to him something I read once - "one person's weeds are another person's flowers." Sounds like it's very true in this case.
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Comment edited on: 8/13/2012 9:51:02 PM

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REDDOGMOM 8/13/2012 8:14PM

    Awww. Glad to see you had an awesome day! I know you've been needing it.

Beautiful weeds emoticon

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BKNOCK 8/13/2012 7:52PM

    How sweet! How is Brian feeling these days?

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NAOLEE 8/13/2012 4:38PM

    The intentions it is what count and your husband had a good intention. He did a work of art emoticon from something we think is not value. emoticon
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.

A garden is a complex of aesthetic and plastic intentions; and the plant is, to a landscape artist, not only a plant - rare, unusual, ordinary or doomed to disappearance - but it is also a color, a shape, a volume or an arabesque in itself. Roberto Burle Marx

A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them. Liberty Hyde Bailey
Your husband did it.
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EILEENXO 8/13/2012 3:10PM

    God bless you, for the sneezing and all. What a wonderfull husband. Continue to enjoy each day as it unfolds.

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CRYSTALZ1 8/13/2012 3:05PM

    By definition, a weed is any plant that grows where it is unwanted. Therefore, your enjoyment and want of this plant makes it not a weed:)

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A Quick Post...

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Everyone that knows me, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve. When God made me He didn't give me any filters in that area, at least I don't think so. I've tried to shush my inner wonderings, workings, questions about life. I've tried to be reserved and "normal," more times than I can count, but then I wake at 2 a.m. either giddy from excitement or reading His Word, trying to find answers or reassurances. I have learned that I cannot stop being who I am, no matter how hard I try, and there are times I really wonder if that is a blessing or a curse.

Am I a good person? Am I really? Am I capable of being a good mother, wife, friend, servant of God? And am I capable of doing this promotion that I received? I look back over the last few years and see where I have fallen short. And with that, I have seen people that I love so very much leave either by death or choice and it hurts to the very core of my soul. I am afraid. I am afraid of losing more loved ones. I am afraid of failing. Perhaps right now I am going through a period of self-doubt like everyone does at some point, yet I am incredibly hard on myself. I recognize that. I know who I am and why I do it but it doesn't make it any easier.

I miss Bre. I miss my youngest son who decided to make choices that were detrimental to his well-being and not contact home. I miss my brother who went Home to be with our Lord. I could go on but I won't. It doesn't serve any purpose but to make others feel bad or myself worse. I know that things happen for a reason but again...it doesn't make it any easier. Nor should it. God allows these things so it will make us stronger. Somehow. Someway. That is my purpose right now...to get to "somehow" and "someway."

I ask for your prayers right now so that I may get back to being your good SparkFriend. So that I may look in my mirror and feel worthy of that friendship. I want to be able to love without smothering, with peace and a gentle calmness. To be able to throw the doubts aside and trust. Trust, especially in myself, is not coming easy right now. Self-worth is also at stake.

Thank you for allowing me to express my concerns. For me, blogging is therapeutic and I never do it for pity or for a stroke to my ego. I do it because it helps me to sort out the good from the bad and MAYBE to just make sure I am normal. I don't know. But, I do know that I don't have to do it alone because I am never TRULY alone as long as I keep God by my side. Let me rephrase that...I am never truly alone as long as I recognize God is at my side, even if I can't "see" Him at the time. He never leaves. Never.

I wish you all a good day from the bottom of my heart. You truly mean very much to me and since joining this site I have felt like I have belonged to something greater than myself. You are all wonderful people and I am so very thankful for you, each and every one of you. You bring a brightness to my day that is immeasurable.

God bless you so much. You are loved. So very much.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEMAWEST 8/13/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/10/2012 9:24AM

    You sound so much like me. It's scary to lose the ones you love, even if they are just going "down the road a piece." I love that you feel you can confide in those of us here who care so deeply about you. I know you have a lot going on right now and it's hard. Remember, two rules: 1. breathe in 2. breathe out. The rest will come. I'll be praying for you my friend!

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CARTOONB 8/10/2012 12:11AM

    You're welcome! Tee hee. I'm glad you feel safe enough to blog. You write very well and I enjoy your posts.

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IMREITE 8/9/2012 9:45PM

    we all have doubt.,sometime we ignore it, cover it up lie about it or are brave like you and open up about it and ask for support. I tend to talk/babble to much to cover my fear and doubt.

I like your idea of praying about it instead.

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TRENTDREAMER 8/9/2012 9:37PM

    "Am I a good person? Am I really? Am I capable of being a good mother, wife, friend, servant of God? And am I capable of doing this promotion that I received? I look back over the last few years and see where I have fallen short. "
* What's God's take on all this?

"I miss Bre. I miss my youngest son who decided to make choices that were detrimental to his well-being and not contact home. I miss my brother who went Home to be with our Lord. "
* emoticon emoticon Really sorry to hear about your son and brother.


"I ask for your prayers right now so that I may get back to being your good SparkFriend. So that I may look in my mirror and feel worthy of that friendship. "
* I've never said this before ever in my life, but I think that this needs to be between you and God.

I don't know what to make of a situation that involves both a God who has made us in His image, redeemed us, sanctifies us and strengthens us and such a sense of needing to feel worthy of friendship.


" Let me rephrase that...I am never truly alone as long as I recognize God is at my side, even if I can't "see" Him at the time. He never leaves. Never."
* John 14:15-20.
Don't settle for Him just being at your side. God totally doesn't want you to.


"God bless you so much. You are loved. So very much. "
* Much love back at you!

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REDDOGMOM 8/9/2012 8:19PM

    I will keep you in my thoughts. emoticon

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JADOMB 8/9/2012 7:27PM

    Never fear my dear friend, God is always with you. It's just that worldly feeling that sometimes confuses us. We all have to go through it from time to time and it's tough, but totally controllable. As long as you lean on God, you always know you are on solid ground. May God continue to watch over you and to comfort you.

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KRITTERKEEPERS 8/9/2012 7:12PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BKNOCK 8/9/2012 5:48PM

    emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 8/9/2012 4:02PM

    My dear friend, you are so special. The doubts and fears you have are completely normal. God is always by your side, so be comforted. You are so very loved and appreciated. You are totally worthy of your promotion. So love and be loved in that knowledge that God gave you a loving heart and personality to match. emoticon

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IRP1114 8/9/2012 2:20PM

    To me you are completely normal with these thoughts. The people that don't think this way are the ones I do not understand. You are an awesome spark friend and an obviously amazing person. Keep thinking positive and you will continue to make it through any tough times that come your way.
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SCOTMAMA 8/9/2012 1:41PM

    First of all -- you are an individual; and a very interesting one, I'd say. Do not run yourself down. Emotions are good,you are a good-hearted, loving Christian lady who has had both good and bad in your life. It seems that in most families there is always one child who goes astray,sometimes it is drugs, sometimes alcohol, sometimes some other addiction. We can't keep them from doing what they want to do, the same way we can't control another person's life. That's why it is important for you to be the best person YOU can be, and try to let the rest of it go.

Look for the silver lining in every cloud -- it's what I try to do! emoticon

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KATRINAKAT23 8/9/2012 1:41PM

  I get your blog . We all go through times of doubt about ourselves. You seem to have a good handle on it and will come through it with flying colors. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/9/2012 1:41:52 PM

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