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A Morning In The Life Of Me

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My times in the early mornings are strictly for ME. My days usually start at the ripe hour of 5:00 a.m. to spend time with Brian before he sets off to work. Not soon after that begins the inner dialog of whether or not I should exercise. Usually after a 15-minute heated debate with myself, the need to exercise wins out. Like a child who is forced to do something he/she doesn't really want to do, I forcefully slam my feet into my shoes and sigh. Pulling my hair up into a haphazard ponytail, I set out the door, slamming the door shut behind me.

The first five minutes I am thinking, "Why do I even bother? The scale hasn't budged in over two weeks and I'm just going to go home and dive head-first into the Crunch-n-Munch." Ten minutes later I'm wondering, "Maybe I just DON'T TRY hard enough. Maybe I'm slacking." Usually fifteen minutes into it, I'm throwing my body so hard into the uphill climb that I'm not thinking of ANYTHING. I'm too busy trying to get enough oxygen into my lungs to conquer the next hill on the next mile. Then something happens. Just when I tell myself I can't go any harder, my rebellion wins out and I'm running.

While I'm running, my thinking returns. I begin thinking about all the little things that are bugging me, the things that are giving me a struggle in my day-to-day relationship with God. Or I think about the weaknesses that I have as a person and I get so frustrated, so annoyed that I think if I slam my feet into the soil hard enough, fast enough, it will trample them away. Before I know it, I'm so out of breath and my heart is beating so fast that my head swims. I have to take a breather. I have to usually sit on a rock that overlooks a little stream and allow my lungs to catch up. It is then that I usually see the sun rising over the pines, I hear the birds greeting each other in harmony and I look at my hands as they rub my thighs in comfort.

It is then my soul is usually quieted. The storm in my spirit is usually soothed by that point. My frustrations and anger spent, I look to the sky and tell God that I'm doing my best and that I long for the day when these torments, these doubts and and confusions will no longer be a source of contention for me. As a lone ant or some other "creepy-crawly" makes its journey atop my sneaker, I am mesmerized by the masterpiece that God has placed me in, this earth that He has created for me to live in. Maybe I just DON'T TRY hard enough to appreciate these things that God has given me.

Sighing, I usually get up and before I know it I have a renewed sense of strength. I tell myself, "I can do anything I set my mind to." I slowly pick up the pace and suddenly I am running the last fifteen minutes back to my house, the place where I left in such a fitful way. My mind suddenly starts filling with things I can do to try to make a difference in my family's lives, in my life and, perhaps, the lives of others. By the time I throw myself into the back door, I am anxious to better myself, to share a smile with someone, to pray. No, I'm not going down for the count...not today.

This is a typical morning in my life. I'm not saying that EVERY day I manage to make it out the door but it's becoming a little easier to make it five times out of seven in a week. There is something about exercise that not only feeds the body but it feeds the soul as well. It makes me rebel in the best of way, whereas before, I rebelled the wrong way by eating my way out of emotional strife. I'm not perfect in that area either. But I accept that's who I am.

Today is a new day. It always is. What will come, will come, but it better be ready to face me.

At least for today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADDEELOU 7/10/2010 10:26AM

    Great blog. I think we are all plagued by doubts but few of us admit to them, let alone describe them so eloquently. Thanks so much for sharing and giving us all that gift. Stay strong!

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AZCUPCAKE 7/3/2010 8:52PM

    You have me laughing and crying at the same time. YOU are a MORNING PERSON, TOO?!?? WOW. It just gets scarier and scarier! I get up before Philip does (around 5 a.m.!!), putter around and do some quiet chores, read, think about what needs to be done that day, and then get Philip's oatmeal and coffee ready for him before he heads out the door. I get a lot of heat about that step from some of my friends, but I figure it is the LEAST I can do for a man who is so loving and patient and kind to the PSYCHOTIC CRITTER he has chosen to spend his life with!

Then I, too, think about getting out the door to the Y, or to take a giant hike, or on a lazy day, just taking the dogs on their daily 'sniffing tour!' The same thoughts go through my head -- self-defeat, anger at myself for my lack of discipline when faced with a bag of cheese popcorn, remembering my friend Jeff and all of the ways I blame myself for not being able to help him when he needed someone, etc. etc. I, too, pound myself through pounding the trail or pounding the treadmill, sometimes trying to hide my tears behind my sunglasses or my sweaty workout towel. It is so hard. And on top of it, that scale number has refused to budge for what seems like months. But you are right -- there is a moment where everything sort of "comes together" and I feel a surge of strength and a feeling of empowerment that always (ALWAYS!) surprises me, and I wonder why I don't hurry out the door to get to this feeling more often. I seem to forget that activity and exercise are NOT just for losing weight, they are for keeping one SANE. One's mental health is just as important (if not MORE important!) than one's pants size. So, I will try again to recommit to this way of life that includes moving out of my little comfort zone of the couch, the kitchen, and my own backyard.

Thank you for this lovely simply amaze me time and again, and I will never be able to repay you for all that you give me through your words and friendship!

Sending snot-filled hugs your way,

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FLEMIDG 7/3/2010 1:42AM

    Wonderful Blog, Michelle. You are doing so great to get out there as often as you do. Keep up the great work. Have a great weekend.


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CARTOONB 7/1/2010 11:12PM

    Great blog! You run?? That is awesome!

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TRENTDREAMER 7/1/2010 9:06PM

    Awesome blog! I know the struggle and I know the feeling of it getting easier. I'm proud of you for sticking with it.

Thank you for being there for me. I really appreciate it!


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DIETSAFARI 7/1/2010 5:05AM

    You have me itching to start gyming again, but will sit down until it passes.
That was really inspiring, Friend.
Bless you

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JUNIAATROME 7/1/2010 1:00AM

    It is so rewarding to get out there before the sun, so why is it so hard to get out there every time? Wished I knew,but today I'm just too tired to think. Will get back to that later... when I wake up.

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DONNAORLENE 6/30/2010 11:39PM

    Great Blog! Don't be so hard on're one of the greatest inspirations on this site! And your testimony and Christian witness is outstanding. Your image as a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and friend is awesome. And on top of that you work your behind off! So keep up the GREAT job! And the positive Attitude! It's contagious!

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GEEMAWEST 6/30/2010 9:21PM

    Awesome Blog!! Thanks for sharing.

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/30/2010 12:48PM

    Great Blog! Love it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ENILLA 6/30/2010 11:01AM

    GREAT BLOG! I have been considering running because I want to do a 5K in October so perhaps I should do some early morning runs. I LOVE the way I feel after I workout regardless of what I do it makes me feel AWESOME. Now why don't I do it on a consistent basis? That answer is too deep to post on one blog post. emoticon


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Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates...

Monday, June 21, 2010

It seems these days I am speechless and have nothing of real importance to say. I could talk about how I really hate it when I get the squeaky grocery cart at the store. You know the ones that are kind of "off-kilter" and sort of rock as you push them, all the while squeaking with every other revolution of the wheel? Don't you hate it when people look at you like, "Are you DEAF? Don't you HEAR that?" "Yes, miss, my goal today is to annoy you! Suck it up!" Squeak, squeak, squeak....

I could also talk about how I fell through our front porch yesterday. First of all, Brian decided it was time to get the siding replaced on the house. Like I've told a few friends earlier, it was either Hershey, Pennsylvania to tour the chocolate factory or siding. Brian picked siding. He said the other stuff was getting warped and it needed done. I argued that warped siding gives a house character and that the chocolate couldn't wait! That's when his selective hearing kicked in and he grabbed a bucket of nails. Soooo, yesterday I went out to the front porch to check his progress and CRACK BAM! My right leg went through a board while half of the board swung toward my face and clocked me in the forehead. Plus my left leg was abnormally stretched up to my chin. Needless to say, the porch must be redone now. (And I made a mental note to lay off the carrot cake for a few weeks.)

Don't you hate it when you go all the way into town (especially when you live out in the boonies) to rent a movie you've been DYING to see and it's OUT? Or, worse yet, you rent it, bring it home, get halfway through it and it skips?? Right before Gerard Butler takes off his shirt? That really hurts, man. Deep inside my heart.

Local commercials really bother me, too. We have this one where the car deals are so low, it's a "CRIME." The police chase the car dealer around the car lot with a butterfly net until they find him laying, hiding in the back of a used truck. If you look really close you can see a crumpled up beer can and a half-eaten bag of Cheetos. Ya gotta love southern Ohio.

Breanna got a letter Friday concerning her housing arrangements at Ohio University. Everything is fine but she has to order special sheets to fit her bed. Apparently THEIR beds are a foot longer and slightly narrower than regular beds but not to worry! They have "special" sheets you can buy for only $119.00 a pair! Oh, thank goodness! Standard bed sizes are so YESTERDAY! Okay, I know that it's not really that abnormal to pay a significant amount for good sheets, but C'MON! We're talking kids here! Spilled pop, streaks of pizza grease and busted ink pen stains. And WHY are their beds weirdly-shaped? These questions and more will be answered at student orientation in August. No need to pay for the $350 orientation fee up FRONT. No, it will be billed to your student's account. That way you can pay for it LATER.

Well, that's about all I have to say for now. By the way, Brian wasn't totally oblivious to the fact that I really wanted to go to Hershey's. He went to town last night to return the botched movie and picked me up a couple of Hershey's candy bars. Aw! Suh-WEET! However, they're still sitting on the counter. Ya know, it's like I really need them....

But they're going to STAY there until he rechecks the strength of the remaining boards on the front porch. I'm not taking another chance! :)

Have a great day guys!

The actual hole I created:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/12/2013 7:46PM

    You paint the wildest and most vivid mental pictures with your wonderful writing. I feel like I need a seatbelt if I'm to keep reading, lol!

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DIETSAFARI 7/1/2010 4:31AM

    Dear Mom in Law got us a new odd sized King Extra Length bed for our 10th wedding aniversary. I can think of a couple of jokes that could fit in here nicely, but will refrain. Yes she maid DH pay for it, but it is the thought that counts.
I am with you on odd sizes. Had to have sheets made at a special factory that has the right thread count. MIL is a dear little Martha Steward. No seams allowed on the sleeping surface.
Pulled my hair

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LMB-ESQ 6/27/2010 11:04PM

    I have a craving for a Chunky. Do you remember those? Thick, little square chocolate bars that you can break into four sections? I want one with raisins really bad! And I can't find one anywhere! Did they stop making them?

As usual, your blog is great. You could give Letterman a run for his money in the monologue department. emoticon

Oh, and forget the $119 sheets. Go to Walmart and look for extra long twin sheets. They won't be perfect, but they'll fit good enough. And that's all you need, as you'll see when you get a load of those mattresses. (Uh oh, I can see it now... perfectionist mom Michelle... you're gonna hate those mattresses LOL) Do get a good mattress pad though, it will make all the difference in her being able to sleep versus not being able to sleep. If you get one of the ones with extra deep pockets, it should fit the long mattress.

Out of curiosity, which dorm is she in?

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JUNIAATROME 6/23/2010 4:55AM

    Long and narrow beds? I bet they only have basketball players in mind. and you cracked your porch - congrats but I'm better! I did manage to sit on a bed and it collapsed! I am glad that I am 20 pounds lighter now then than. But I am very careful with beds since. Very careful.

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DEE107 6/21/2010 11:16PM

    ouch and ouch I would have my foot stuck in the hole,, but then it was you .. I feel your paing and hugs

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MUSIC66 6/21/2010 11:09PM

    omg yikes.

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CARTOONB 6/21/2010 9:07PM

    You start by saying how speechless you are but then go on to show how very un-speechless you truly are! Which I appreciate, by the way! LOL!

I pulled a Michelle on Saturday. I was loading the pickup after the yard sale, backed up a little to get the next box and fell off the tail gate! Landed on my bum, no serious injury, but it did hurt! Now I'm sore but don't have a bruise so I am NOT getting the sympathy I deserve! emoticon

Glad you got some Hershey chocolate. Hope you get to enjoy it soon!

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USFBULL 6/21/2010 7:06PM

    emoticon Time to cut back on the carrot cake, to funny, glad you were not seriously hurt , but I know the pride just got stomped. Now you know why I like netflix , no going to the store, but sometimes you do get unplayable discs but with the Roku streaming that is not ever an issue. All part of the netflix deal. Check it out online at Enjoy and watch your step,.... what were we talking about ... LOL emoticon

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/21/2010 4:10PM

    I love the blog and the striped socks in the pic emoticon

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FLEMIDG 6/21/2010 3:38PM

    Oh, Michelle, I missed your blogs. You have brighted my day again. I do hope you weren't hurt in your mishap. I can't believe the things they can get away with charging you for with regards to college. It's not like it hasn't already cost an arm and a leg to pay for the actual courses. Check around on-line, maybe you can find the sheets somewhere else. Enjoy those Hershey bars. I think you have earned at least one, or part of one. Have a great day and a wonderful week.
Remember you are loved lots and lots.

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AZCUPCAKE 6/21/2010 1:15PM

    You are as sweet as a semi-load of Hershey bars!! So sorry you 'slipped between the cracks' of your front porch! Yikes! I hope you didn't hurt yourself! What a SCARE! Seriously, don't blame that on your carrot cake consumption....wooden planks don't last forever, unfortunately! Houses are such money pits, aren't they?! Always something....and THEN it is time to buy special sheets for dorm-room beds! WHY in the world are these sheets so very expensive?! I have been looking with one eye closed, one eye open at all of the "stuff" college-bound students need! The list is like a BRIDAL REGISTRY! Oh well, maybe it is time for me to start shopping EARLY so I don't get that sticker-shock illness from which none of us parents are immune!

Breanna is off to camp soon! The time will fly, Girlfriend! Some days go faster than others, but boy, did I ever see a difference in Bill when he got home. Okay, he is actually sleeping alot, but that is to be expected, I suppose. He DOES seem a bit more "adult-ish"?? We'll see how long THAT lasts--! Being nice to his little brother and all! emoticon

Oh, and THIS: you call soda "pop" too! I am dancing in my chair about that! NOBODY here calls it "pop", and I ALWAYS get made fun of when I say, 'Who wants a pop?' Just one more reason I love you so muchly much, Michelle! emoticon

Now I am off to the grocery store, where I will probably get the squeaky-wheeled cart! It is Philip's birthday today, and he has requested pot roast and vegetables for dinner.....simple, yes, but whatever happened to going out for birthday-dinner pizza??? But then, I would be calling EVERY night birthday-dinner pizza night if I could get away with it....!

Love you lots, don't let the world drive you crazy, and know that you are being hugged a whole bunch from across the country! emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/21/2010 1:16:51 PM

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LESSOFJEN 6/21/2010 12:45PM

    Oh boy never a dull moment in your house I think! And it amazes me the things they charge us for...what is the world coming to?!

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BKNOCK 6/21/2010 11:48AM

    Oh my gosh, thank you so much for the much needed laugh! How is your body this time? Did Brian witness this? Lol!

I have been dealing with budget talk and oh how depressing!

I could use a piece of carrot cake about now!

How was the rest of the movie? I would go sheet shopping somewhere else, don't you know anybody that just graduated? Maybe they can pass them on? They get you coming and going!

Have a great day and maybe you should use bubble wrap on your body? Please be careful. Thanks again for the laugh! By the way I don't recall ever seeing you speechless and this blog was far from it!

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ENILLA 6/21/2010 10:38AM

    OK I am cracking up about the porch because all I can see is the Subway commercial!! That is very funny. (I'm only laughing because I know you are fine, if you were seriously hurt, I wouldn't be cracking up...just chuckling softly.) My daughter's orientation is tomorrow. I have been OK with it but now that her leaving is looming, it makes me sad. I will undoubtedly be a mess the rest of this week. Excited for her but sad that my baby will be gone.


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Thursday, June 17, 2010

What a week! Well, what a week and A HALF! I've been wondering about what to write but I think I know. I want to take a few minutes to tell Betsy, Barb, John, LINDA (MY DEAREST AZCUPCAKE) G-Ma and all the others who so steadfastly believed in me and urged me to come back THANK YOU. Most of you know the circumstances that unfortunately took place, why I left, so I won't go back into those. I am just so happy to be back amongst you all.

I have to admit, at first, I was upset that I lost all of my blogs, points, goodies, etc. But nothing compared to feeling like I lost all of my wonderful friends. You guys are really the bread and butter that kept me going for the last year and a half. John, you have been THEE best brother that anyone could have. Your encouragement, your faith, your love of reminding me that I'm a klutz, got me through some of the most difficult times. Barb, you've been one of the greatest little sisses ever. You're the only person other than me that gets excited about explosives. I love it! But, BITE ME, okay? Bets, you and I have an appointment with the Gypsy Queen Cruise Line and I get first dibs on the TOILET. Eulla Belle and Krissie say so. G-Ma. Do you know how much respect I have for you? I can't believe how much emotion we had during that time I got out of hand. I'll never forget my daughter taking your side, LOL! I love you to pieces; after all, you ARE my SparkPeople lover. :)

AZ, you have been the voice of reason. I'm not saying the others weren't, but Linda, you have a way of making me feel calm during the storm. I can only imagine the steadiness of your voice, the warm tone, the firm yet gentle reassurance in your demeanor as I read your words. I feel like we've shared so much with one another, yet we haven't gotten the chance to meet yet. HURRY UP AND COME summer of 2011...the day Phoenix will never be the same again!! I can hardly wait until we squeeze the beloved goobers out of one another and tear up the town. You are one of the most beautiful people I know.

To my Victorious Secret team... it seems like only yesterday that John and I wanted to come together and make a place for you to come. Your prayers, your faith, your belief in me is what brought me home to you.

I love you all dearly, from the bottom of my heart. Amazing grace, that's what this is...God bless you, each and every one of you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/12/2013 7:19PM

    Wow. Love. So incredible! I've started my unguided tour through the last few years of your life on spark people... what a way to start! You clearly are full of devoted love for the special people in your life, and that's, well, a beautiful thing. Ok, let's see where your road leads! :-D

Comment edited on: 11/12/2013 7:19:33 PM

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LESSOFJEN 6/21/2010 12:42PM

    I am glad you are back!

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ENILLA 6/21/2010 9:46AM

    WELCOME BACK! SP was not the same without you...even if only for a short while!!! I hope you know how much we love you.


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MUSIC66 6/20/2010 10:07PM

    i am so glad to see that you are back you no iam always here for you . did you know i live not that far away from dutchie as the sunshine coast is only about 2 and half hours away.

Comment edited on: 6/20/2010 10:07:52 PM

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BKNOCK 6/20/2010 9:57PM

    Cruise???? I am ready but not that cruise! I want a fun cruise where we can just chill and talk sort of like here on Spark but face to face!

Welcome back Sis and please don't ever leave us again! We need you way too much!


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IAM_HIS2 6/20/2010 5:18PM

    Glad you are's a new beginning all the way around and a wiser you.

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CALIMAN1 6/20/2010 5:07PM

    How in the world did I miss your first blog???? Well, I am thrilled you are back so the world can once again spin properly on its axis....or because you are back, is it spinning slightly to the left, maybe a little awkwardly, not like fall on your face and skid on the ice awkwardly, or roll into a car awkwardly, but still a little different than normal!

WHatever....welcome back glad you are STEEL here! and STEEL kickin! Hmmmm, catchy name! emoticon

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JUNIAATROME 6/20/2010 1:15AM

    I'm sorry things colided and I missed what ever made you go away and come back. I was kinda wondering that there was no word from you anywhere. Whatever, I am glad that you are here. SP would not be half of SP if you were not around... Hope you have a great Sunday.

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JUNIAATROME 6/20/2010 1:15AM

    I'm sorry things colided and I missed what ever made you go away and come back. I was kinda wondering that there was no word from you anywhere. Whatever, I am glad that you are here. SP would not be half of SP if you were not around... Hope you have a great Sunday.

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LMB-ESQ 6/19/2010 8:17AM

    emoticon Welcome back! emoticon

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CARTOONB 6/18/2010 11:45PM

    BITEME2!!!! I'm so glad to see you're back!

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WALKOFFWIN 6/18/2010 8:35PM

    Welcome back, Steel-Kickin! And very good to know that you're steel kickin'... Wasn't sure for a while there. My basically lousy day is much better now!

Thank you!

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TRENTDREAMER 6/18/2010 6:09PM

    "I love you all dearly, from the bottom of my heart. Amazing grace, that's what this is...God bless you, each and every one of you. "

* We love you also. May He bless you as well. Welcome back. emoticon

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AZCUPCAKE 6/18/2010 1:47PM

    I am crying too many *HAPPY TEARS* to write anything that makes a lot of sense right now...! You really know what is important in life, Michelle, and that the most meaningful things in life aren't THINGS-- they are PEOPLE. We need you just as much as you need US! I am so happy you are back and all in one piece and feel secure within your circle of SparkPals who love you to PIECES....okay, snot-filled sometimes! It's all good!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/18/2010 8:58AM

    Welcome Back!!!!!

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DIETSAFARI 6/18/2010 4:19AM

    Hey There! Sounds like you have gone undercover!?
I just love your cheecky fun way and that you don't give up. Can't let them win- whoever they are.
Sparks would not have been the same without you.
So I have decided to blow all my spark points on you. Have to get that goodie larder full again.
I feel that the Lord wants you to hear this too:

The mouth of the uncompromisingly righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks with justice. The Law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

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DONNAORLENE 6/18/2010 12:35AM

    I'm so happy that you came back! And I sure am thankful that God answers prayer! You're an amazing person and I can't imagine never hearing from you again. And I know John was guys make a great team for Victorious Secret Sparkin in Faith. But mainly I think I'd miss the joy you bring into my life more than anything! So thanks for coming back and remember You're always in my heart and in my prayers!

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God Bless You,
Donna Orlene

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DEE107 6/17/2010 11:14PM

    Michelle we are Bless to have you ..God bless you ..did you hit the button that took you out of sparks competely... ugh ... I missed you and thought you were just away till they mention off of sparks ..I know you have been going thru a lot with hubby sick and all .. and was praying you were fine.. Glad you came back to us..Love ya kiddo Dee

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GEEMAWEST 6/17/2010 11:09PM

    Ditto, Michelle, Ditto!! So glad to have you back.

P.S. I won't tell anyone you're here, OK? emoticon emoticon emoticon

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