Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My times in the early mornings are strictly for ME. My days usually start at the ripe hour of 5:00 a.m. to spend time with Brian before he sets off to work. Not soon after that begins the inner dialog of whether or not I should exercise. Usually after a 15-minute heated debate with myself, the need to exercise wins out. Like a child who is forced to do something he/she doesn't really want to do, I forcefully slam my feet into my shoes and sigh. Pulling my hair up into a haphazard ponytail, I set out the door, slamming the door shut behind me.
The first five minutes I am thinking, "Why do I even bother? The scale hasn't budged in over two weeks and I'm just going to go home and dive head-first into the Crunch-n-Munch." Ten minutes later I'm wondering, "Maybe I just DON'T TRY hard enough. Maybe I'm slacking." Usually fifteen minutes into it, I'm throwing my body so hard into the uphill climb that I'm not thinking of ANYTHING. I'm too busy trying to get enough oxygen into my lungs to conquer the next hill on the next mile. Then something happens. Just when I tell myself I can't go any harder, my rebellion wins out and I'm running.
While I'm running, my thinking returns. I begin thinking about all the little things that are bugging me, the things that are giving me a struggle in my day-to-day relationship with God. Or I think about the weaknesses that I have as a person and I get so frustrated, so annoyed that I think if I slam my feet into the soil hard enough, fast enough, it will trample them away. Before I know it, I'm so out of breath and my heart is beating so fast that my head swims. I have to take a breather. I have to usually sit on a rock that overlooks a little stream and allow my lungs to catch up. It is then that I usually see the sun rising over the pines, I hear the birds greeting each other in harmony and I look at my hands as they rub my thighs in comfort.
It is then my soul is usually quieted. The storm in my spirit is usually soothed by that point. My frustrations and anger spent, I look to the sky and tell God that I'm doing my best and that I long for the day when these torments, these doubts and and confusions will no longer be a source of contention for me. As a lone ant or some other "creepy-crawly" makes its journey atop my sneaker, I am mesmerized by the masterpiece that God has placed me in, this earth that He has created for me to live in. Maybe I just DON'T TRY hard enough to appreciate these things that God has given me.
Sighing, I usually get up and before I know it I have a renewed sense of strength. I tell myself, "I can do anything I set my mind to." I slowly pick up the pace and suddenly I am running the last fifteen minutes back to my house, the place where I left in such a fitful way. My mind suddenly starts filling with things I can do to try to make a difference in my family's lives, in my life and, perhaps, the lives of others. By the time I throw myself into the back door, I am anxious to better myself, to share a smile with someone, to pray. No, I'm not going down for the count...not today.
This is a typical morning in my life. I'm not saying that EVERY day I manage to make it out the door but it's becoming a little easier to make it five times out of seven in a week. There is something about exercise that not only feeds the body but it feeds the soul as well. It makes me rebel in the best of way, whereas before, I rebelled the wrong way by eating my way out of emotional strife. I'm not perfect in that area either. But I accept that's who I am.
Today is a new day. It always is. What will come, will come, but it better be ready to face me.
At least for today.
Monday, June 21, 2010
It seems these days I am speechless and have nothing of real importance to say. I could talk about how I really hate it when I get the squeaky grocery cart at the store. You know the ones that are kind of "off-kilter" and sort of rock as you push them, all the while squeaking with every other revolution of the wheel? Don't you hate it when people look at you like, "Are you DEAF? Don't you HEAR that?" "Yes, miss, my goal today is to annoy you! Suck it up!" Squeak, squeak, squeak....
I could also talk about how I fell through our front porch yesterday. First of all, Brian decided it was time to get the siding replaced on the house. Like I've told a few friends earlier, it was either Hershey, Pennsylvania to tour the chocolate factory or siding. Brian picked siding. He said the other stuff was getting warped and it needed done. I argued that warped siding gives a house character and that the chocolate couldn't wait! That's when his selective hearing kicked in and he grabbed a bucket of nails. Soooo, yesterday I went out to the front porch to check his progress and CRACK BAM! My right leg went through a board while half of the board swung toward my face and clocked me in the forehead. Plus my left leg was abnormally stretched up to my chin. Needless to say, the porch must be redone now. (And I made a mental note to lay off the carrot cake for a few weeks.)
Don't you hate it when you go all the way into town (especially when you live out in the boonies) to rent a movie you've been DYING to see and it's OUT? Or, worse yet, you rent it, bring it home, get halfway through it and it skips?? Right before Gerard Butler takes off his shirt? That really hurts, man. Deep inside my heart.
Local commercials really bother me, too. We have this one where the car deals are so low, it's a "CRIME." The police chase the car dealer around the car lot with a butterfly net until they find him laying, hiding in the back of a used truck. If you look really close you can see a crumpled up beer can and a half-eaten bag of Cheetos. Ya gotta love southern Ohio.
Breanna got a letter Friday concerning her housing arrangements at Ohio University. Everything is fine but she has to order special sheets to fit her bed. Apparently THEIR beds are a foot longer and slightly narrower than regular beds but not to worry! They have "special" sheets you can buy for only $119.00 a pair! Oh, thank goodness! Standard bed sizes are so YESTERDAY! Okay, I know that it's not really that abnormal to pay a significant amount for good sheets, but C'MON! We're talking kids here! Spilled pop, streaks of pizza grease and busted ink pen stains. And WHY are their beds weirdly-shaped? These questions and more will be answered at student orientation in August. No need to pay for the $350 orientation fee up FRONT. No, it will be billed to your student's account. That way you can pay for it LATER.
Well, that's about all I have to say for now. By the way, Brian wasn't totally oblivious to the fact that I really wanted to go to Hershey's. He went to town last night to return the botched movie and picked me up a couple of Hershey's candy bars. Aw! Suh-WEET! However, they're still sitting on the counter. Ya know, it's like I really need them....
But they're going to STAY there until he rechecks the strength of the remaining boards on the front porch. I'm not taking another chance! :)
Have a great day guys!
The actual hole I created:
Thursday, June 17, 2010
What a week! Well, what a week and A HALF! I've been wondering about what to write but I think I know. I want to take a few minutes to tell Betsy, Barb, John, LINDA (MY DEAREST AZCUPCAKE) G-Ma and all the others who so steadfastly believed in me and urged me to come back THANK YOU. Most of you know the circumstances that unfortunately took place, why I left, so I won't go back into those. I am just so happy to be back amongst you all.
I have to admit, at first, I was upset that I lost all of my blogs, points, goodies, etc. But nothing compared to feeling like I lost all of my wonderful friends. You guys are really the bread and butter that kept me going for the last year and a half. John, you have been THEE best brother that anyone could have. Your encouragement, your faith, your love of reminding me that I'm a klutz, got me through some of the most difficult times. Barb, you've been one of the greatest little sisses ever. You're the only person other than me that gets excited about explosives. I love it! But, BITE ME, okay? Bets, you and I have an appointment with the Gypsy Queen Cruise Line and I get first dibs on the TOILET. Eulla Belle and Krissie say so. G-Ma. Do you know how much respect I have for you? I can't believe how much emotion we had during that time I got out of hand. I'll never forget my daughter taking your side, LOL! I love you to pieces; after all, you ARE my SparkPeople lover. :)
AZ, you have been the voice of reason. I'm not saying the others weren't, but Linda, you have a way of making me feel calm during the storm. I can only imagine the steadiness of your voice, the warm tone, the firm yet gentle reassurance in your demeanor as I read your words. I feel like we've shared so much with one another, yet we haven't gotten the chance to meet yet. HURRY UP AND COME summer of 2011...the day Phoenix will never be the same again!! I can hardly wait until we squeeze the beloved goobers out of one another and tear up the town. You are one of the most beautiful people I know.
To my Victorious Secret team... it seems like only yesterday that John and I wanted to come together and make a place for you to come. Your prayers, your faith, your belief in me is what brought me home to you.
I love you all dearly, from the bottom of my heart. Amazing grace, that's what this is...God bless you, each and every one of you.
Get An Email Alert Each Time STEELKICKIN Posts