Wednesday, January 27, 2010
I LOVE Target. I mean it. If SuperTarget were the only store in town, I could live with that. I'm not crazy about the food side but I can make do there, and I love the rest of the store. I love their clothes stuff, I love their kitchen stuff, I love their 'stuff' stuff...
Anyhow, my absolute favorite Target store has magic mirrors in the dressing room. I am serious. I look FABULOUS in these mirrors. First of all, they have two mirrors in every dressing room, and they are angled so you can see how what you are trying on looks from both the front and back. Plus they are "skinny" mirrors although I can't figure out how...you know how in some stores (Ross, I'm looking at you!), the mirrors are actually slanted so that you look thinner? Well I can't see how these are slanted but for some reason I am ALWAYS pleasantly surprised at how I look in these mirrors.
Anyhow....I decided to take a PHOTO today just to see if I really looked as good as I thought! (I have a little digital camera I always carry in my bag).
Do you think Target would notice if I tried to take one of these mirrors home with me?
Monday, January 25, 2010
I was such a klutz this morning. Definitely going to be Monday all day today. I have already tripped over my own feet at least twice and banged my head on the corner of a cabinet in the office. I wish I could just go home, get back into bed, and pull the covers up over my head!
I did ok this weekend. Not great, not terrible. I didn't eat myself sick, which is good. We did have pizza Saturday, and I ate too much pizza, more than I needed, but not so much that I felt stuffed. And when we got home, I did have a mini-binge....but it was on dried pineapple, which yeah, is loaded with sugar, but at least it was fruit! Yesterday I did ok until after dinner, but the snacking wasn't awful---a 100-cal pack, a bowl of puffed wheat and rice with Splenda, some popcorn...it could have been worse.
The daughter and I did go and see "Sherlock Holmes" again, because I was tired of listening to her beg me to go! It was good, but true confession time....I fell asleep for a little while in the middle. What can I say, I had seen it before! And I was tired! Here's the funny bit; I woke myself up with a big....SNORE. Thank goodness the theatre was not very full so there was no one sitting near us, although my daughter got a big laugh out of it.
I am really having mixed feelings about this weight loss thing. Clearly what I am doing is kind of not working---I do ok during the week but not so good on the weekend. Sometimes I think I should just give it up and try to maintain where I am at, sometimes I am not sure I even know how to do that....I am pretty much just confused about the whole deal. I do want to lose these last 5 or so pounds because I fear that if I don't, I am just going to go off in the other direction and gain a bunch more. But I absolutely HATE how I feel so hungry all the time, how I think about food all the time, how cranky I am, how defeated and guilty I feel...I am not sure it's worth it anymore.
I feel like I don't know this person I see in the mirror every morning anymore, and I don't particularly like her. I suspect a lot of what is going on is physical and possibly out of my control, or maybe that I just don't know what to do because of what my body is doing to me lately. Between the perimenopause and the back problems, I just feel really defeated and powerless a lot of the time.
Those aren't very positive thoughts first thing in the morning. I do feel like I can get through this week and do ok with my eating. It would help if I could at least get back to where I was when I weigh-in on Friday. I didn't record my 1.5 pound gain last week because I just can't face seeing that number go up on my ticker. I am kind of dreading weigh-in on Friday.
Friday, January 22, 2010
I was up a pound and a half this morning. Kinda sad, really, given how hungry I felt all week. On the other hand we did eat out a lot this week, so it could be water retention from all the sodium. I did make healthy choices when eating out! And no dessert! So I am trying to keep my chin up about it, but really it's pretty discouraging. I honestly had just hoped to have stayed at the same weight. Oh well.
The season premiere of "Burn Notice" was last night. I love that show so much! Thank goodness it looks like Gabrielle Anwar has put on a little weight. That girl has been way too thin---there was one show either last year or the year before where she was wearing a bikini and honestly it was kind of disgusting looking. She looks healthier this year at least so far. They have said the show is so physical that they tend to get thinner and thinner as the season progresses. Jeffrey Donovan also looks a little beefed up (NICE!).
I am ready for another quiet day at work. It has been like a ghost town lately. Not much going on. I guess I don't mind except that it makes the day go by really slooooowly. Thankfully today is my short day and I am off at 1pm, so then I am going to get a pedi, which I am really looking forward to. My back is still bad enough that I can't reach my own toes, so---SHUCKS--I have to go and get someone to do it for me. Yeah it's a real hardship to sit for 45 minutes and soak my feet and be pampered!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I was thinking last night about the struggles I have been going through with this weight thing. I realized that my attitude is SO different than it was a couple of years ago.
Last night, I was at the local shopping center with my son, and we came out of Target and he wanted to go to GameStop. He said, "why don't we walk, Mom?" Well it was a ways across the parking lot, but I felt fairly energetic, and the weather was nice, so I said ok, and we walked instead of driving. And I got to thinking and realized that in general, that was my attitude a couple of years ago when I originally started on this weight loss journey and did so well. If there was ANY opportunity for extra activity, I was all over it!
But over the past year, I have gotten to where I just feel too darn TIRED and just frankly uninspired. It doesn't even occur to me to walk across a parking lot instead of drive! I do have to chalk this up a little to my job; prior to Feb 09 I wasn't working, I was a full-time stay at home mom, and I was very active and energetic. Now that I'm working about 25-30 hours per week, I just don't seem to have the energy or impetus to do anything 'extra'. When I get off work, I pick up my kids, get home....and usually lie down on the couch until suppertime. Yeah, I am THAT tired.
I am trying to figure out what to do about this. I WANT to be more active. I WANT to have the energy to take the dogs for a walk. I WANT to play Wii games with my kids. I am just too darn tired.
On the good side I did work out in our garage, tidying things up, moving things into the attic, etc. for about 45 minutes yesterday. Worked up a pretty good sweat. I have to be so careful because I feel like my back is finally FINALLY improving and the last thing I want to do is go the wrong direction with that. The past two nights when I have gone to bed, the sciatic pain has actually been bad enough that I have trouble falling asleep, which is a completely new thing---usually bedtime is my best time of day, and I have a cessation of pain when I lie down, so I am not sure what is up with that.
I am also trying to strategize on my calories and eating----I need to find a better balance between diving way below calories during the week and then going completely bonkers on the weekend. I will weigh-in tomorrow no matter what so we will see....
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Both of my kids got their braces off today. Yippee! They are pretty excited, especially my daughter. They go back next week for their retainers and I am hoping that after that, we won't be having to go back to the orthodontist for a while!
Today is my day off and I have done ok with my eating. I think we are going to Taco Cabana tonight which is good for me because I can get a rotisserie chicken breast, which I really like, and it's low-cal and low-fat. I might even splurge and have a flour tortilla, I don't know; usually the chicken is enough.
It is warm here today, in the low 70s. What psycho weather for January. Was it just a week or so ago we had temps in the teens? I hope we have a little more cold weather, just a little!
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