Thursday, March 08, 2012
.....yeah, just forward all my mail to any of a variety of doctor's waiting rooms around town....
I last posted here in September. Since then I have been fighting an uphill battle with my weight, and my health in general.
To cut to the chase, found out yesterday I have Epstein-Barr virus. Probably in the recovering phase, or possibly chronic....they will test again in six months to see where my levels are at.
This would explain the extreme (EXTREME) fatigue I have been experiencing since the first of the year. For those who know me, you will understand what I mean by extreme when I confess to you here and now that I HAVE NOT EXERCISED AT ALL IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS.
Yeah remember me? The girl who worked out 30-45 minutes seven days a week? HAH.
I can barely get out of bed some mornings. It is strictly my stubborn mid-west do-or-die attitude that gets me up and around most days. To put it in blunt terms, at the very bottom of the well (about mid-January), I told my husband, "I feel like I'm dying."
Some of my other health issues over the last 1-2 months -- sore joints, achey feet (my feet are KILLING me most days), severe heartburn and indigestion, night sweats, lack of focus (I like to call it 'brain fog' -- raise your hand if you get the movie reference!)....geez the list goes on. I don't suppose I need to add "weight gain" to that list, isn't it a given? :/ (yep, now at 145, a number I hoped I'd never see again in my life)
I have also found out that my Vitamin D levels are dangerously low, my bad cholesterol has gone up, I have blood in my urine (am off to the urologist in the near future, oh joy), and there may be something going on with my heart (a 'functional' murmur, a valve problem...?....the cardiologist appt is next week).
I am awaiting further blood test results from my visit to the endocrinologist yesterday --- they are testing for Hashimoto's, Celiac, and I am not sure what else.....will go back in a couple weeks for an ultrasound on my thyroid, as the doc said it's enlarged, although she said not to worry about it, that it was nothing "ominous". Gosh don't doctors know better than to use words like "ominous" with their patients!? Even when they are telling you something is NOT ominous!?
You know what was ominous to me? When I noticed the petechiae on my torso...first one side, then the other... then on my legs.... RAN to the hematologist only to find my platelets are fine -- well, as fine as they get for me, 'normal' for me, which is low, but not dangerously so. So what is up with the petechiae?! No one knows or seems to care.
I think that's enough. I needed to vent. :) I am still kickin', just not HIGH kickin'..... :-D
Monday, September 12, 2011
I can't believe I haven't blogged since May.
Actually I kinda do, because good golly miss molly it was a long, strange, difficult summer!
To cut to the chase, I found myself 3 weeks ago at a full TWENTY pounds above my "happy" weight of 120.
Folks I have been chasing the elusive 120 since the summer of 2009 when the stuff hit the fan in terms of my life in general and stress started kicking my butt big time. I hovered a little above and a little below (and a little above...) 130 for a LONG time, once getting down to 125 (for about 2 seconds!) It's been a struggle to say the least.
So what happened this summer? More like, what DIDN'T happen.
My teenage daughter started dating (need I say more?) She is also suddenly majorly hormonal, and between her PMS and my perimenopause ... oh, it is FUN around our house!
My husband ruptured his appendix in late June, waited 2 weeks before going to a doctor, and ended up spending the better part of a week in the hospital recovering. Wait, it gets BETTER. Then 8 weeks later he went back to have the appendix taken out, only to find out....drum roll please....his appendix hadn't ruptured at all! There is something else going on, they don't know what, he is scheduled for a colonoscopy on the 26th to find out, and the GI doctor is telling us it is probably Crohn's disease. Stressed, who me?
My SIL died very unexpectedly in July. She was my age. :-( My brother is beyond devastated, as is the whole family.
My dad tore a tendon (ligament?) in his knee and had to have surgery to fix it -- the same week my husband went in for his appendectomy.
Yeah, so....maybe there is some justification for eating my way across town at every restaurant and/or fast food joint in my path. :-/ In addition I believe I may have been on the brink of having my mail forwarded to my pantry since apparently I had practically moved into it full-time.
That is it.
Guess what though?
God is still God, He is Good, and I know it. :-)
I have been eating thoughtfully even though not tracking for 3 weeks now, and have lost 5 pounds.
I just have to keep going. :-)
I have missed my CK and SP friends.
Friday, May 13, 2011
The story of my life the past two years, the weight-loss rollercoaster!
It's a five-pound fluctuation, so it could be worse, but STILL...!!!!
Back on it this week, weighed 132.5 on Monday, weighed 129.0 this morning -- yeah, mostly water for sure. However I have been NETTING around 1100 all week, so I should lose, HECK YEAH. (this means my intake is around 1400, so before anyone suggests it, no, I'm not lowballing my calories!)
Been hungry all week, FUN. Don't you love it?
We will do movies this weekend and I will have popcorn, wanna make something of it? ;-)
I want to feel moderately good about myself and have my pants fit right before we go out of town Memorial Day weekend. That's as far ahead as I can look.
The 1100 thing is kind of a jump start. I can't do that indefinitely. I was so hungry yesterday afternoon I was an absolute train wreck. Plus hormones. Yeah, lovely to be around. I finally just shut myself up in my bedroom because I was such bad company.
Monday, May 02, 2011
So....I see I haven't blogged for almost 3 weeks. That's almost 3 weeks of not blogging OR logging!
I am holding steady at about 129-130 pounds. It feels like this is all I can do right now. The thought of going back to 1200 calories per day, feeling famished all the time -- frankly it makes me feel really depressed. And it seems that's what I have to do to drop a few pounds. And I know realistically it would take me probably 6-8 weeks just to get back down five pounds to 125, which is still the top of where I like my weight range to be.
Emotionally I'm just not up for it.
On the home front we are tooling along. 4 more weeks of school and then summer, and I can hardly wait. I need a break from the school routine with the kids for sure. The driving, the homework....it's exhausting.
I just want to make it to Memorial Day -- we are going out of town to visit my sister-in-law and will get to see my new niece again, the first time since New Year's. She has now had two surgeries for her cleft lip and cleft palate, and if the pictures are anything to go by, she is doing well. Can't wait for this trip!
I am still exercising, 45 minutes on the treadmill every day. I literally don't have the energy to even attempt to jog, so I have been playing with the incline to try to increase the intensity of the workout. I am still having problems with insomnia, which doesn't help -- I fall asleep ok but can't seem to STAY asleep. too much on my mind. This makes it hard to find the energy to work out HARD. But at least I am moving on a daily basis!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Yeppers, down five pounds from my high of 132.5 a week or so ago.
Definitely some water retention there, plus my IBS was giving me fits so that factored in.
The IBS lasted for several days and basically every time I ate, I felt sick and had problems.....so at some point, I just cut way way back on my food intake out of self-defense.
Yeah, apparently when you don't eat....you lose weight ... go figure!!!
Realizing how very stressed out I am, mostly due to my daughter. She is 14, about to turn 15 .... need I say more? She is an awesome kid, seriously, it's not really anything she's doing wrong. Basically, I have come to the realization that things are going to change, she is entering a new "phase" of her life, and I am literally having anxiety attacks over it!
She is not allowed to "date" until she is 16 but we have been letting her spend SUPERVISED time with a boy from her youth group at church. She really likes him, he really likes her, and believe it or not, WE really like him too, but...I think I am in denial that this part of her teen years is actually upon us! YIKES.
I wish I were kidding but this is literally causing me sleepless nights. Like last night, I think I got maybe 4 hours of sleep -- my brain will NOT shut up, and then there were the thunderstorms that rolled in and woke me up around 4am. Great. I was up at 4:45 am Sunday morning because I had to get up and go to the bathroom and just plain couldn't get back to sleep although my alarm wasn't set to go off until 6:45 am. What a bummer that was.
Oh also and more apropros to eating, exercising, food intake, etc. I have decided not to log for a bit. Basically when I began having these IBS problems lately (I think linked to my surgery last month), I intuitively began to 'listen' to my body to try to figure out what to put into it to make myself feel better! So I tried to eat very light, bland, and only when I felt I really needed the food. I naturally found myself eating less, which explains some of the weight loss.
It has given me the confidence to feel I might be able to eat when hungry, stop when full, etc. without the crutch of the food diary. We will see. I am not sure how much of my loss of appetite is due to stress, and how much due to my IBS issues, but I am trying to make lemonade out of these lemons and re-train myself to eat thoughtfully.
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