Friday, June 13, 2014
I went out for lunch with a friend yesterday. She and I had a good visit. She brought to my attention something that I needed to realize (not that she put that in those words), she said that she noticed that I am either all in or all out. That is so true. So, for example, when I first joined spark people, I was all in, and I lost that weight- got to that goal that the doctor wanted me to get to. Then I got discouraged, and I was all out- just "comforting" myself with food. I've been in that up and down pattern ever since. More down than not. It's not just in the area of food either. Today is my last day of job coaching, and so I'll have a few weeks off (at least- since I'm not yet sure if I will be doing summer school or not), and I have various ideas of what I'd like to accomplish during that time. However, I tend to be the type of person who gets overwhelmed and so doesn't do it, or starts it and that's it after a day, or a week or whatever, depending on what it is, and what's happening around me -or not happening around me.
She went on to say "Be strong!" "Let's both be strong". I said okay, but even while saying it I didn't think I could be, and I know she knew that was what I was thinking. She said it again. "Be strong".
I told her that I figured I'd start Monday to eat right again (should have the not so good food done with by then) and that she's welcome to ask me how I'm doing. She said she will. I think I like all this encouragement. :)
So, I saw some shelves in my bathroom I've been wanting to have neatened, and find something I didn't know what happened to, that I could really be using. I told myself- be strong and just do it (another thing she's told me before- "Just do it!"), and....I did. It took hardly any time at all. What a good feeling. I went and made a phone call that needed to be done, that I had been "dreading"- and that was done and over with in no time flat. I still have to go to work yet, but these things got done already. Good feeling! :)
Sunday, June 08, 2014
I was emotionally hurt by someone, and haven't had an easy time with it. It's been a couple weeks or more feeling like this. Friday I had a student majorly disrespect me. I was very respectful to her, but had let her know that she was not following the rules the teachers had set out for her, and yet she continued in various ways to do what she wanted, ignoring my reminders. I got out my phone when it was break time. I planned to call one of the teachers, and she asked if I was mad at her. I said that I was. I let her take her break alone (first time ever), while I paced, not believing I didn't have the phone number with me (I normally do, but recently took things out of the bag I use, and must not have put it back in--should have had it in my phone though...arg). When her break was up, I kindly let her know. She was very quiet the rest of the time, and did her work well, but she definitely took the food with her as she waited for the bus (that she'd been told never to hint for, but that the boss said she could have after she did). So I waited outdoors, looking for the bus (I could still see her). When it was time for her to get on the bus I did nicely tell her to have a good weekend. We have only two days together this week and that will be that. She's done with the program. I do hope that she will behave well those two days.
I say all that to say this- I was sooooooo mad at all she'd done, and then three different drivers did three different things that were so wrong too, on my way to my next student's work site...that I screamed! Now all this is not me normally. Between this reaction, and all the songs about forgiveness I've been hearing on Christian radio lately, I was certainly getting the hint. God is so kind though. On the way home that day, I stopped to grocery shop, and while almost done checking out, someone offered me a 40 cents off per gallon coupon to use. Wow! Then as I was leaving the parking lot, a young woman let me out to take my right and she didn't have to, since her line was already moving due to the light having just turned green (plus no one was behind her). It just somehow really touched me. THEN I got home and something I'd ordered for a friend (who I was to see that evening) was sitting right in my entryway (it wasn't supposed to be there for at least another week yet). I was so ecstatic about that. She was even more ecstatic when she got her early birthday gift. :) Yay Well, the person that hurt me told me yesterday that they are very sorry, and though they had already said that previously, and I stated why I had a hard time believing them (not the first time they did this), all day long I kept realizing that being unforgiving is just hurting me- I just physically feel awful, not to mention emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So...I told them today that I will try. I got a tearful thank you. I do feel better. Not great, but better.
Monday, May 26, 2014
It went pretty well getting there and back. Nice to sit and watch it and the gurgling brook below. Peaceful sounds. :)
Friday, May 23, 2014
It'd been a couple weeks since I'd exercised, due to my back being nasty. Been having other stuff going wrong too, and I got into a kind of mantra of "what difference does it make" to just about everything. I got to the chiropractor the other day. Yesterday my back didn't feel good again, but I think something went back into place overnight, because I felt I could do walk away the pounds workout at least- with no pain, yay. So got to do that this morning. Two miles. So that's a bit uplifting. It's nice to have something that is.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Yesterday, after my pushing through brush (probably losing the tracker that way) and all, I found a tick on my arm- but it wasn't attached. Today, I felt something on my neck- my husband thought it looked like a scab to him- I asked him to please use the tweezers to remove it. When he did- it was obvious to both of us that it was a tick. Great...that one HAD been attached. UGH
I'm praying that nothing bad happens from it having been...
Get An Email Alert Each Time STARTINGINLIMBO Posts