Sunday, June 08, 2014
I was emotionally hurt by someone, and haven't had an easy time with it. It's been a couple weeks or more feeling like this. Friday I had a student majorly disrespect me. I was very respectful to her, but had let her know that she was not following the rules the teachers had set out for her, and yet she continued in various ways to do what she wanted, ignoring my reminders. I got out my phone when it was break time. I planned to call one of the teachers, and she asked if I was mad at her. I said that I was. I let her take her break alone (first time ever), while I paced, not believing I didn't have the phone number with me (I normally do, but recently took things out of the bag I use, and must not have put it back in--should have had it in my phone though...arg). When her break was up, I kindly let her know. She was very quiet the rest of the time, and did her work well, but she definitely took the food with her as she waited for the bus (that she'd been told never to hint for, but that the boss said she could have after she did). So I waited outdoors, looking for the bus (I could still see her). When it was time for her to get on the bus I did nicely tell her to have a good weekend. We have only two days together this week and that will be that. She's done with the program. I do hope that she will behave well those two days.
I say all that to say this- I was sooooooo mad at all she'd done, and then three different drivers did three different things that were so wrong too, on my way to my next student's work site...that I screamed! Now all this is not me normally. Between this reaction, and all the songs about forgiveness I've been hearing on Christian radio lately, I was certainly getting the hint. God is so kind though. On the way home that day, I stopped to grocery shop, and while almost done checking out, someone offered me a 40 cents off per gallon coupon to use. Wow! Then as I was leaving the parking lot, a young woman let me out to take my right and she didn't have to, since her line was already moving due to the light having just turned green (plus no one was behind her). It just somehow really touched me. THEN I got home and something I'd ordered for a friend (who I was to see that evening) was sitting right in my entryway (it wasn't supposed to be there for at least another week yet). I was so ecstatic about that. She was even more ecstatic when she got her early birthday gift. :) Yay Well, the person that hurt me told me yesterday that they are very sorry, and though they had already said that previously, and I stated why I had a hard time believing them (not the first time they did this), all day long I kept realizing that being unforgiving is just hurting me- I just physically feel awful, not to mention emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So...I told them today that I will try. I got a tearful thank you. I do feel better. Not great, but better.