Saturday, February 19, 2011
so.. here's a list of my goals-
reach normal BMI
reach my surgeon's goal of 137
reach my own last little goal of 134 (weigh as much as i've lost)
i weigh 126lbs. i've surpassed all of those goals. it took me 3 years. but i did it. now, i'm maintaining. i haven't had plastics yet, so i like to stay around 130 (15lbs of skin on me). i have to eat gluten free pasta and gluten free bread maybe once a week to keep my weight up or it'll dip below 126 and i look gaunt. just the minute amount of those carbs is enough to keep my weight up. i've come to realize that my body hates carbs. HATES. also, i have a terrible metabolism and low BMR.
i update my youtube channel and talk about everything there- 3foldutopiandream
Thursday, February 26, 2009
okay. i had a really good streak going when i got back from NYC last month. i had gotten back down to 171 from 179. then, i had a huge fight with the husband, that prompted us to seriously talk about divorce, and i took up drinking alcohol nightly again, plus eating horrible food choices and fast food. i can't eat much with my pouch, but i think WHAT i eat affects me more than the QUANTITY i eat now. i still have restriction, but i honestly feel that i have the restriction a "normal" person has... one that has never had a weight problem and knows when to stop eating. i dunno.. maybe that's just me.
so, a few days ago, my weight got to 178 and i told myself "that's enough!" and got back to business. i quit drinking and started watching what i ate and logged food and it's coming off again. and every single time i do this, i ask myself WHY? WHY do you let yourself stop this? WHY can't you let yourself get to goal? i've never seen below 170. the only time i've been in the 160s has been when i was a child. so why am i so scared to see the 160s and lower? i have no idea... but, i realize that i'm self sabatoging. maybe it's a defense mechanism... i get all this attention now.. that i LOATHE. what'll happen when i get to goal?
so yeah. every time i start getting back to basics, it feels like i'm "dieting" again. "fallen off the wagon". i did not have surgery to go on a diet again! surgery is for life! it's a lifestyle change! i'm falling into bad habits like i had before surgery. obviously, i didn't learn what i needed to learn during the honeymoon period. i feel like i can give advice till the moo cows come home, but i can't follow it. it's just food!!! but, you can't just give it up. you need it to live. i just need to decide what my relationship with food actually is and will be.
pork has been on my list of NO FOODS ever since WLS. i've never been able to eat it in any form... shredded bbq, sausage, bacon, ham, etc.. i tried bbq pork in the crock pot the other day... and i've kept it down! i feel like celebrating. so, even after almost a year and a half, keep on trying to eat stuff that has thwarted your pouch!
so, those are my thoughts for the day. i'm going to daytona beach in 3 weeks and i want to look decent in my new swimsuit. if that's not a motivator, i dunno what is!! =)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
so, since i had surgery, there are a few things that i've never been able to tolerate. some of them are: eggs, deli meat, any kind of pork (ham, BBQ shredded, chops, sausage), and tuna. i've tried all of the above several times, with the exception of tuna. they've all promptly induced foamies and then vomitting. every single time. i tried tuna salad again today. and promptly threw it up. i'm guessing it's too dense for my pouch. so, there it goes on the permanent DO NOT EAT list. meh.
i stayed the same this morning. 172. i was kind of let down. but then again, i look at my loss for the week and i'm pleased. i'm still motivated. we'll see tomorrow how i am when i start the new semester. i posted in my LJ recommendations for portable foods... i have access to a micro and fridge in my biology lounge, but i don't really like using them. but i will use the comfy couch for 2 hour naps though! LOL.
got any recommendations or suggestions? i've got protein shakes, campbell's soups at hand, cheese sticks, south beach high protein bars... it's way too easy to go to the vending machine and get peanut butter crackers... so, i'm going to try to not have cash on me. *crosses fingers*
Saturday, January 10, 2009
so, i weighed 175 the other day. i've been tracking protein and calories and adding tons of water. and i've been losing weight steadily!
here are my weights for the past few days:
1/7/09: 177.4 ** (started eating right again)**
holy smokes! 5.4 lbs in LESS than a week! i can't believe it!!!
i bought a super duper grown up planner yesterday that i'll track my weight and calories and such in and take it with me everywhere. time to get the treadmill decluttered again.
Friday, January 09, 2009
so, the past 2 days, i've been tracking what i've been eating and drinking. easily! and i've made a few things to eat this week and posted them on youtube and in my recipe box. i just hope i stay motivated.
i got back from NYC and weighed 179. 2 days later, i weighed 177. after starting my healthy eating and calorie and protein counting yesterday, i lost 2 lbs this morning. so, i'm at 175 now. i've gotten in over 64oz of water today and around 700 calories and 90g of protein. i'm getting on the right track! now i just need to clean up the living room and get my treadmill dusted off. squee! i'm so excited. i hope this lasts.
oh! and i've also taken my b12 shot this morning and all of my multis and calcium supplements. go me!!
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