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surpassed ALL of my goals

Saturday, February 19, 2011

so.. here's a list of my goals-

lose 100lbs
weigh 150
reach normal BMI
reach my surgeon's goal of 137
reach my own last little goal of 134 (weigh as much as i've lost)

i weigh 126lbs. i've surpassed all of those goals. it took me 3 years. but i did it. now, i'm maintaining. i haven't had plastics yet, so i like to stay around 130 (15lbs of skin on me). i have to eat gluten free pasta and gluten free bread maybe once a week to keep my weight up or it'll dip below 126 and i look gaunt. just the minute amount of those carbs is enough to keep my weight up. i've come to realize that my body hates carbs. HATES. also, i have a terrible metabolism and low BMR.

i update my youtube channel and talk about everything there- 3foldutopiandream

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 2/21/2011 6:05AM

    Congratulations on your weight loss!

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STARSBELOW 2/19/2011 11:58PM

    my goals now are just maintaining this... keeping my labs up... and getting plastic surgery in the future to get my excess skin removed. that's it. =) oh... and doing some 5Ks, 10Ks... =)

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TACONES 2/19/2011 9:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    I have watched your you tube channel and I think you have done an awesome job and you look great. I will be having my surgery next Friday and I am still debating whether or not to do You Tube videos...did it cause any fights in your marriage or did anybody just walk up to you on the street...those are the only two things that hold me back. Keep up the great work!

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/19/2011 8:03PM


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SALEX52 2/19/2011 7:31PM

    Congratulations. What goals are you setting for yourself now? I'm sure maintain is at the top of your list, but I'll bet you've made some goals in other areas of your life.
Again, congratulations.

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back to basics, once again...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

okay. i had a really good streak going when i got back from NYC last month. i had gotten back down to 171 from 179. then, i had a huge fight with the husband, that prompted us to seriously talk about divorce, and i took up drinking alcohol nightly again, plus eating horrible food choices and fast food. i can't eat much with my pouch, but i think WHAT i eat affects me more than the QUANTITY i eat now. i still have restriction, but i honestly feel that i have the restriction a "normal" person has... one that has never had a weight problem and knows when to stop eating. i dunno.. maybe that's just me.

so, a few days ago, my weight got to 178 and i told myself "that's enough!" and got back to business. i quit drinking and started watching what i ate and logged food and it's coming off again. and every single time i do this, i ask myself WHY? WHY do you let yourself stop this? WHY can't you let yourself get to goal? i've never seen below 170. the only time i've been in the 160s has been when i was a child. so why am i so scared to see the 160s and lower? i have no idea... but, i realize that i'm self sabatoging. maybe it's a defense mechanism... i get all this attention now.. that i LOATHE. what'll happen when i get to goal?

so yeah. every time i start getting back to basics, it feels like i'm "dieting" again. "fallen off the wagon". i did not have surgery to go on a diet again! surgery is for life! it's a lifestyle change! i'm falling into bad habits like i had before surgery. obviously, i didn't learn what i needed to learn during the honeymoon period. i feel like i can give advice till the moo cows come home, but i can't follow it. it's just food!!! but, you can't just give it up. you need it to live. i just need to decide what my relationship with food actually is and will be.

pork has been on my list of NO FOODS ever since WLS. i've never been able to eat it in any form... shredded bbq, sausage, bacon, ham, etc.. i tried bbq pork in the crock pot the other day... and i've kept it down! i feel like celebrating. so, even after almost a year and a half, keep on trying to eat stuff that has thwarted your pouch!

so, those are my thoughts for the day. i'm going to daytona beach in 3 weeks and i want to look decent in my new swimsuit. if that's not a motivator, i dunno what is!! =)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUDRAS 5/4/2010 10:37AM

    I was so greatfull to see this particular blog. I have very similar issues, and concerns. It was awesome to feel like "I am not alone". Thank you for being truthfull!

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TANYAD2010 1/1/2010 8:33AM

    Emotional Eaters are also perfectionists about most things. We also put others first with the hope that others will BE THERE for us. We look for strength in things outside ourselves. So your husband issues (if they still apply) would definitely add to the disappointment hence looking for the "food" to "fill" that void. The external strength.

The question then is...what else can I do when I get upset? Paint my nails. Go dancing? Something as a release. Something that also gives us inner strength.

For me, I realized that I come that I can be better for others in a wholistic and holistic sense. So I re-established my spiritual side. (note I didn't state religious). A connection with something greater than yourself and life in general. A connection with something that made you BE here in the first place. That then makes you place value on yourself and then makes you no longer seek strength in things that really cannot help the way we would like it to.

So...don't be so hard on yourself.

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tuna salad. curses!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

so, since i had surgery, there are a few things that i've never been able to tolerate. some of them are: eggs, deli meat, any kind of pork (ham, BBQ shredded, chops, sausage), and tuna. i've tried all of the above several times, with the exception of tuna. they've all promptly induced foamies and then vomitting. every single time. i tried tuna salad again today. and promptly threw it up. i'm guessing it's too dense for my pouch. so, there it goes on the permanent DO NOT EAT list. meh.

i stayed the same this morning. 172. i was kind of let down. but then again, i look at my loss for the week and i'm pleased. i'm still motivated. we'll see tomorrow how i am when i start the new semester. i posted in my LJ recommendations for portable foods... i have access to a micro and fridge in my biology lounge, but i don't really like using them. but i will use the comfy couch for 2 hour naps though! LOL.

got any recommendations or suggestions? i've got protein shakes, campbell's soups at hand, cheese sticks, south beach high protein bars... it's way too easy to go to the vending machine and get peanut butter crackers... so, i'm going to try to not have cash on me. *crosses fingers*


holy smokes!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

so, i weighed 175 the other day. i've been tracking protein and calories and adding tons of water. and i've been losing weight steadily! emoticon

here are my weights for the past few days:
1/5/09: 179
1/6/09: 177.8
1/7/09: 177.4 ** (started eating right again)**
1/8/09: 175
1/9/09: 174
1/10/09: 172

holy smokes! 5.4 lbs in LESS than a week! i can't believe it!!!

i bought a super duper grown up planner yesterday that i'll track my weight and calories and such in and take it with me everywhere. time to get the treadmill decluttered again.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELARUTI 6/19/2013 11:36AM

  Please share what type of planner did you is time for me to get back on track

Comment edited on: 6/19/2013 11:37:14 AM

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Motivation! Finally!

Friday, January 09, 2009

so, the past 2 days, i've been tracking what i've been eating and drinking. easily! and i've made a few things to eat this week and posted them on youtube and in my recipe box. i just hope i stay motivated.

i got back from NYC and weighed 179. 2 days later, i weighed 177. after starting my healthy eating and calorie and protein counting yesterday, i lost 2 lbs this morning. so, i'm at 175 now. i've gotten in over 64oz of water today and around 700 calories and 90g of protein. i'm getting on the right track! now i just need to clean up the living room and get my treadmill dusted off. squee! i'm so excited. i hope this lasts.

oh! and i've also taken my b12 shot this morning and all of my multis and calcium supplements. go me!!