struggles and triumphs of the last month

Saturday, November 20, 2010

When I stayed with my grandma and uncle for the week leading up to Halloween, I fell off the wagon big-time. Only one day of exercise and a LOT of bingeing = 3 pound gain. I had been doing pretty good exercising out there the past couple trips, but this time it seemed like one thing after another went wrong. I'm not gonna go into all the details since it's been almost a month since it happened, but suffice it to say, I really struggled to get back on track when I got home again. I felt "the void"--which I didn't feel for months--and I just wanted to fill it and stuff all my other negative emotions with a lotta lot of junk food. I didn't hit my exercise goals that first week back, either.

Last week, I made multiple bad decisions regarding food, but it was a major improvement from the week before. I ate rather sensibly for the most part. I got in all my cardio, even though it meant going 5 days in a row. I don't like to do that because I get so tired by the last day, but I took Monday and Tuesday off and it was the only way to get my 5 days in. Most importantly, I finally felt like I was back on track!

This week's been awesome so far. I've eaten very well. (I probably ate too little, actually, because I've been so busy.) I went out to eat at Cracker Barrel last night. I really wanted something ridiculously unhealthy--the cinnamon French toast with cream cheese icing looked so amazingly delicious, as did my mom's hush puppies and the neighboring patron's bacon--but I ordered a grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side. I wholeheartedly wanted to stay home afterwards, but I went to the gym and did my cardio and ST anyway. Tomorrow will be my 5th day of cardio in a row again; you can get your butt I'll be there hitting that goal, though.

It took me 2 weeks to get back to my pre-visit weight. I dropped the extra 3 pounds last week. THIS week, I hit both my 30% lost and 80 pounds lost milestones. It feels so good to be back.

Now I just have to devise a plan of attack for Thanksgiving dinner.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALIGIRLDIANA 11/22/2010 11:08AM

Oh girlie so glad to hear you are back on track and that you hit your goals! WAY TO GO!!! Good choice on your meal by the way! (: Keep it up girlie!!! (: Report Inappropriate Comment

UNSTOPPABLE_ 11/21/2010 9:03PM

Little Star, Great job in realizing the trouble & fixing it. We've all been there...me, well I ate enough Halloween candy for 4/5 kids. I don't know why. I just wanted it, I guess. I struggled to get back to healthy eating. It was harder than I expected. You did great my skinny friend! Woo Hoo for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

GGRANLDY 11/21/2010 6:37PM

Good Job coming back!!!!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 11/21/2010 12:12AM

1 step back TWO steps forward! Great comeback! :-) Don Report Inappropriate Comment

BLC goals revisited 4 wks later

Saturday, October 23, 2010

• Lose 5.2 or more lbs to hit my goal of at least 14 lbs lost
Lost 5.8 more lbs for a total of 14.6 lost during the challenge

• Cardio: at least 220, preferably 275, mins per week (880-1100 total)
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

• Measurements: Not going to set specific goals because my body WILL lose where it wants to. I just want the numbers to go down or at the very least stay the same (no increasing!).
Waist Went down 7/8 inch
Hips Went down 1 ½ inches
Bust Went down ½ inch

• ST—Abs: 2 sets of 15 reps each of regular and reverse crunches, 2x a day, 2 days a week (Add more exercises or more reps as strength increases)
Week 1
Week 2 Didn’t do any this week
Week 3
Week 4 (Note: I have to do these tomorrow in order to get 3 sessions in, but I have to post this blog early. I’m being optimistic.)

• ST—Legs: 2 days a week of ball squats, calf raises, hamstring curls, hip ab/adductions
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

• ST—Upper body: 3 days a week of chest, back, and arm machines
Week 1 Hit goals 2x this week.
I took Sunday off as an extra knee rest day due to my knee and therefore didn't have access to the machines at home.
Week 2 /
Chest & Back 3x this week/ Biceps 0x & Triceps 1x
Week 3 Hit goals 2x this week.
I took too many days off from gym to ST upper body on non-consecutive days
Week 4 (Note: I have to do these tomorrow to get 3x in, too.)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“ Has your life changed any? Is it better? Is it worse? List how you feel.”

My life hasn’t changed for the better or worse but I feel very proud that I managed to achieve as many goals as I did. Having a weekly checklist of exercises to do kept me on track. I learned where my strengths and weaknesses are, and I think this goal list is going to give me some opportunities to brainstorm on future improvements.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GGRANLDY 10/25/2010 4:04PM

great job keep on moving!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TWEAVER0715 10/24/2010 9:27PM

Great job. Keep up the good work. Report Inappropriate Comment

KELLYMARIEHYMAS 10/24/2010 2:44PM

well done for taking part and putting all the effort in x x x Report Inappropriate Comment

I found out what's wrong with my knees

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

This intermittent, sometimes severe/sometimes mild pain thing with my knees was really beginning to worry me. Last week I decided to bite the bullet and schedule an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. If I had to dip into savings to pay for an MRI, so be it. Today was my appointment. First off, I got x-rays done; after examining them, the doctor told me it was a very straight-forward problem and I don’t even need an MRI (phew!). I have runner’s knee. [I find this very ironic because I’ve had these knee problems since before I started running and they were the very reason I didn’t think I should start.] Anyway, my anatomy is such that I don’t really have a “running body.” The doc said that if I were to tell him that I wanted to run a marathon, he’d tell me to expect a LOT of pain; running is basically always going to hurt me but it won’t cause damage. He gave me the go-ahead to run again. Yay!
The doctor also told me that I could try wearing braces if my knee straps don’t help. If I want, I could get cortisone injections for pain and inflammation or joint fluid injections for lubrication shot into my knee(s) if I wanted. I decided to pass on the big needles and just took a one-time prescription for physical therapy to learn what exercises I should and shouldn’t be doing. That bill’s going to really hurt to pay out-of-pocket, but I think it’s probably a good investment for my health.

In other news, I had a $10 gift card from Sears that expired tomorrow so I went shopping after my doctor’s appointment. I bought 3 pairs of (smaller) underwear and a super cute bra for my shrinkified boobs that originally totaled $42. They were on clearance; I only had to pay $1.16 total.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGNIFICENTMAGG 10/20/2010 7:55AM

Great shopping. 70 lbs, great job! you really motivate me!!! I am glad you got your knees checked out and it will pay for itself in the long run. Report Inappropriate Comment

CALIGIRLDIANA 10/19/2010 8:56PM

Great to hear that your knee problem isn't a serious thing! I'm sure you must be glad it wasn't anything major! I'm happy for you girlie!! Wow!! You totally got a good bargain at Sears good for you girlie! (: Report Inappropriate Comment

TWEAVER0715 10/19/2010 6:37PM

Glad the problem with your knee isn't to serious. Make sure you take care of it so it don't get worse. My daughter never followed through with her physical therapy after weeks of doing it so of course she still has problems from not keeping it strengthened. Sounds like you shop like I do. Go for the clearance and save lots of money. Report Inappropriate Comment

KELLYMARIEHYMAS 10/19/2010 3:18PM

Aww that is really good i think i will have to get myself there about my knee too but i will when i get my little boy sorted make an appointment for me. but he comes first at the moment. but way to go at least now you know why and what is wrong and well done for not giving up on fitness x Report Inappropriate Comment

UNSTOPPABLE_ 10/19/2010 11:45AM

Little Star, You've done well my skinny friend...I love hearing that you are taking care of yourself! You are worth it! How long will the PT last? I'm glad you know what is happening...that is a relief, isn't it? Later SKINNY girl! Report Inappropriate Comment

GGRANLDY 10/19/2010 11:13AM

Glad that you bite the bullet and went to the Doc's. How long will you have to do the physical therapy? In the end I am sure that it will be better for you. Gotta take care of those knees and feet for that matter. It's what holds us up!!! WooHoo on the smaller sized undies and only spending $1.16 over the gift card...Awesome!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

I almost let myself get derailed this week. Almost.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My goal is do cardio 55-60 mins a day, 5 days a week. This past Monday was a scheduled rest day from the gym. My workout buddy and I decided to skip Tuesday as well; this meant I'd have to go Wednesday straight through Sunday. I went Wednesday, and then Thursday rolled around and my buddy ditched at the last minute. It was cold and rainy and I did NOT want to leave the warm blanket I was curled under. After much internal debate, I decided to skip.

I wasn't happy about this choice. (For the last 2 weeks, I haven't met my cardio goals because of knee problems.) I wanted to meet my goal this week. How was I going to meet this goal? It was already too late to do 5 days this week. But it was NOT too late to do 300 mins.

Yesterday, I did an hour and 46 mins of cardio. Today I did 60 mins. And tomorrow, I WILL do an hour and 14 mins.

Every minute I spend pushing myself past what I thought was my breaking point, I grow stronger. I will be proud of my diligence and hard work this week. I will meet my goals.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 10/18/2010 10:39PM

Kudos to your pouring on the cardio steam! Keep the SPARK! :-) Don Report Inappropriate Comment

CALIGIRLDIANA 10/18/2010 12:51PM

That's so great girlie that you did not give up after skipping a couple of days! You are wonderful I know you can do it. So good to hear that you still kept at it and pushed through till the end! Awesome!!! (: Report Inappropriate Comment

GGRANLDY 10/17/2010 9:34PM

Way to Go!! Keep on Moving! You can do it!! Yes YOU can! Report Inappropriate Comment

VICIOUS421 10/17/2010 5:45PM

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KELLYMARIEHYMAS 10/17/2010 1:12PM

well done you are really pushing yourself keep at it x Report Inappropriate Comment

MAIZY243 10/17/2010 2:36AM

What a wonderful save!!! I like your positive attitude. I will be keeping this in mind!! Report Inappropriate Comment

I binged and it wasn't even worth it

Friday, October 08, 2010

I was at the grocery store with my mom and of course, they had Halloween candy at the entrance (right next to what we went there to buy in the first place). I looked at the candy but wasn't planning on getting, remembering how badly I lost control last time when I got candy corn. Well, my mom and I have both been craving crap lately and were both hungry at the time on top of that. She picked up a bag of gummi pumpkins and I was thrilled to throw my resolve out the window. [God, do we enable each other.]

I was expecting gummi worm consistency but they were more of a mix between Jujubes and gumdrops, minus the sugar. NOT at all what I like. And yet I ate a lot of them. To make matters more interesting, the nutrition info only listed the serving in grams, not fractions of a cup. I have no clue how many friggin grams I ate. I did my best to guesstimate how much I ate based on the number of servings in the bag, and I tracked the calories for my estimate. But now I'm hungry and I'm already over my calories for the day--which I wouldn't have been had I not ate those damn things.

Why do I do this? If I'm going to binge, I should at least limit it to things that I genuinely enjoy. I'm trying to be positive and give myself credit for at least tracking the calories as best I could. Hey, I'm still staying accountable to myself. But I'm still mad and disappointed in myself that I did it. It's not like this was some great quality cuisine like in NY. This was just junk. Junk that didn't taste good. Junk that wasn't even worth it.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGNIFICENTMAGG 10/15/2010 7:34AM

It is a bummer when you eat something that you think is going to be better than it actually is. You have done so well on your journey and you inspire me. Today is now so let's go! Remember we are all winners. Report Inappropriate Comment

MARSHASTAR 10/9/2010 1:22PM

Looks like one of those bad habits is trying to creep back into your life, but you see what you did and are going to be okay. It's harder when we are with an enabler. . or a co-enabler. . . . I look at the progress you have made, and I'm motivated to work harder. Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 10/9/2010 3:53AM

Here's how to make your binge worthwhile: LEARNING from a binge...looking closely at the little decisions and choices which led you down the path to a binge. Nailing down those decision points at which you could have chosen a different course for yourself. Making up your mind that if ever in the same situation you will choose plan A...B...or C if you need to! Mistakes are Opportunities for Learning! You can DO IT! :-) Don Report Inappropriate Comment

VICIOUS421 10/9/2010 2:43AM

I have done that before too & it was so disappointing. Now I try to plan a special treat each week and I ask myself before I go too far into a binge if the calories I am going to eat are really worth losing all the hard work I have done to lose weight. It doesn't always work but it is working more than it use to. Report Inappropriate Comment

WANDAC2013 10/8/2010 11:12PM

I hear you too! All I can say is just keep moving forward....do you journal at all? That might be a really good idea for you...write your feelings, motivations, fears...everything surrounding what and when you eat...this may help you find some answers to why you do this. In the meantime, please remember we all slip a bit sometimes...and, most importantly, Report Inappropriate Comment

ROCKYJAY 10/8/2010 10:36PM

My mother and I enable each other as well. I remember earlier this year I was doing a pretty good job losing weight and I was visiting my mother. My mom wanted to order a pizza and asked if I wanted anything, I told her no. I actually called it a night and went to bed to try to avoid the temptation of the pizza. When my mom came home with the pizza it was almost as if she was rubbing it in (not intentionally) for me to eat pizza with her. She kept calling me to eat and telling me how hot, cheesy and delicious the pizza was. It was really weird because she kept trying to get me to eat with her for a while even as I continued to tell her no. It was then I realized how dysfunctional we both were. She just wanted me to eat with her, I don't even think she realized what she was doing as she knew I was trying to lose weight. I mean. It kind of almost made me angry just thinking about and made me even more determined to stay away from that pizza. The advice I can give to you from someone who just had a binge yesterday (me) is that tomorrow is always a new day. Nip it in the bud and continue on with your weight loss journey. It happened, it's over with, lets keep moving forward. I agree with DARACOX that even if you are over your calories if you are hungry you need to eat. I am trying to listen to my body more and if I am hungry I will not deny myself food. I also will not feed my body food if I am not hungry. It doesn't have to be much. Something healthy and yummy that will satisfy you so you wont go raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night because you are so hungry. Report Inappropriate Comment

DARACOX 10/8/2010 10:10PM

I totally hear you. I usually try to limit my treats to really good stuff that's worth it, but every once in a while I think I want something that I really don't. Then I don't really like it, but then I get mad because I feel like I wasted a treat so I eat more out of spite. (Spite against what I don't know...). Good for you for tracking it anyways. Eat a healthy dinner and don't worry so much if you go over your calories just for today. You have a good attitude about it. The important thing is to get right back on track! Report Inappropriate Comment