Sunday, August 14, 2011
I am realizing more and more how much healthier it is to cook food at home rather than have some stranger, or some stranger operating a machine do it for me. I should be getting my ingredients as close to fresh as possible and with as little processing as possible. I don't want to eat any of this processed crap anymore. I'm tired of boxed dinners and canned beans. Why can't I just cook my own damn beans? hell, I've got the time and there'd be a hell of a lot less salt in it. I want to change. I know this is part of what's keeping me from continuing to lose weight. I'm doing great on the exercise! I've been going strong and steady. I just need to adjust my eating. Every day since I started tracking my sodium, I've gone over-and not by a small amount! This is what really made me realize that things had to change. I also recently read the Men's Health article of top 20 worst foods and I cannot BELIEVE how many calories and how much sodium and sugars are in these foods!! It's almost as if our taste buds are being dumbed down so much so, that we can only appreciate the taste of a meal if its bombarded with salt, fat and sugar.
I can't avoid this anymore. It's so terrible. I need to stop pouring sand in my 'fuel tank'. I need to eat more nutritious foods-no I WANT to eat more nutritious foods. I deserve them.
I do have a small dilemma. My birthday is on the 22nd followed by Adam's birthday exactly a week later (to the day! No joke and the same year too!). I still want to have some sort of celebratory meal. That's just what I do. Also, his parents want to take us out to dinner too some time soon. I suppose for those days only, I can eat whatever I want provided it's within my calorie range and strive for something home made on the regular days.
I really want to do this. I always knew in the back of my mind that my eating couldn't be this way forever if I wanted to get healthy and lose weight. I'm tired of putting straight chemicals in my body. I won't deprive myself, but I'm going to severely rethink what I consider a treat. I don't want this poison in my body anymore. I can almost literally feel the water retention that's causing my ankles to swell. It feels heavy and uncomfortable. I am not longer interested in sacrificing nutrition for what I currently think tastes good. I know it's going to suck at first, but over time, my taste buds will adjust and after a while, I won't even want the same stuff. It's just a matter of 'getting over it'.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
I can finally buy panties at a store in the 'regular people' section! Granted, it's size XXL, but it wasn't at Lane Bryant or Torrid. I went to JcPenneys and bought some well-deserved cute panties. Yay! I'm happy, I feel sexier and I am motivated to keep working out.
I also tried on a pair of size 16W jeans, and they fit! That also makes me happy. I was getting really frustrated because I could wear SOME size 16W capri pants, but I was having difficulty with jeans-until today.
I started drinking more water. I think it was a problem I was having before. I wasn't hydrating myself enough. I read somewhere that for every 25 pounds a person is overweight, they have to drink an additional cup of water which leaves me at 11 cups a day of water. I managed to pull it off yesterday, and I'm at 10 cups for today. Even if that information is inaccurate, it's warm out, and the more water, the better in these conditions.
I'm feeling much more optimistic about my future.
I've got a final tomorrow in Science and I have to turn in a final on Tuesday, then Saturday.
I'm so happy!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, my two sisters, a long-time friend, and myself went to Cottage Grove to visit my grandparents for the night. Of course, my grandma loves to spoil us-mostly with food. It was a real eye opener. Normally I say I'm going to write everything down, but I end up losing count, or measurements, or conveniently forgetting, and I just say "screw it" sometime mid day.
I always say "next time it'll be different" and sure enough. It really was. The eating wasn't that different. I still felt the social pressure to eat (though I have to say it really wasn't as terrible on paper as I thought it could have been, I thought it was going to be about 6000 calories, but it was actually 4661 for the whole day ). Every time I ate something, I took out my little notebook and pen, and I wrote down what it was, how much of it, and if I could get calorie information, I wrote it down. I seriously did it for every bit of food, beverage, and cup of water-I even counted the alcoholic beverages that I had last night. The numbers as I said weren't pretty, but I am proud of myself because I diligently wrote down everything accurately and honestly. With practice in scenarios like this, it'll become a habit soon enough.
This morning, as I promised myself, I went for a walk. Sure, it was barely a mile and a half, but I broke out into a sweat, and I did it. It's a really steep area, so it was actually a bit of a challenge. I also did some sit ups and push ups. Another good thing is I actually exercised for an hour yesterday before I left to get it out of the way.
These last two days are definitely a learning experience. In fact, I used what I learned from last night today. I had a banana, an orange, some strawberries, and grapes all in a fruit salad-no sauces or anything- with my breakfast. For lunch, I specifically had the half-portion sandwich with a small portion of fries and a salad with light dressing.
I can do this. I am still learning and creating healthy habits. I have to be sure and learn to incorporate these habits with every part of my life. I can't use "I'm out of town" as an excuse not to do this anymore. I seem to have it under control when I'm at home whether I'm at school or it's a weekend. I just have to make this a habit when I'm not at home.
I do have to say that part of the reason I'm not going on a week long road trip to Idaho with the same people I went to Cottage Grove with is because I know for a fact that I wouldn't have a good way to workout comfortably. I know that they'd more often than not eat out at small non-chain restaurants with HUGE portions, and NO calorie information. I'm just not ready for that yet. That, and I don't have the money.
I also had a good chance to talk about things that had been on my mind, so that was good. Better get it out than hold it in and keep eating it. I was glad I could share.
As I said, I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I've managed to eat only 1992 calories so far today. I've got room for one small dinner type thing, and I'll be finishing homework, and off to bed.
Monday, July 25, 2011
In spite of the fact that I've been going over my calories more lately, I'm still exercising. I still eat less than I used to, and I still haven't lost my motivation. In my opinion, I still consider myself successful.
On Saturday, I went with my sister to Woodburn to meet up with some friends. We ended up going to the outlet mall and trying on some clothes. I was really happy when I could fit into the size 16 capri pants. I didn't buy anything (joy of being poor) but it was good to know that I can still fit into those clothes. I even tried on this size 20 dress that was WAY too big! I'm so happy that I'm no longer in the "20's" for sizes.
On Thursday I'm going with my sisters and a friend to Cottage Grove to visit my grandma and have a 'ladies night'. We're going to go to the mall then, so I'll buy some cheap capri pants at Ross or something.
Even though my progressed has slowed down-like significantly, I am still losing. I guess I just feel like this second half of weight is going to be so hard to lose. I don't know how much more to exercise to make sure I keep losing at the pace I was.
Either way, I'm still on this, there is no 'wagon' to fall off of or get back on to. I'll do fine. Even if this does take a little longer than I originally 'planned', I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing and let things happen.
I'm still doing great. I can still consider myself a success.
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