Tuesday, December 03, 2013
I have been tracking my food and actually trying to eat within range since about the end of October. I have lost 9 pounds after being my highest weight this year. It was enough to scare me because it made me realize how close to 300 pounds I was!! I didn't track over the holiday weekend (visiting family and whatnot), but I started tracking again on the first. I ate waaay over, but the important thing was I tracked it. I also didn't go to the gym on Sunday. That's okay though because I was still in "vacation mode". On Monday I did go back, and jogged as well as rode the stationary bike and did some strength training. I also stayed relatively well within my calorie-range.
Overall, I feel better about myself. I realize that the only thing that has ever worked for me with regards to losing weight, is tracking everything, and just eating smaller portions. I have to track my food, and reduce my portions. That's what I did every single time I have lost weight successfully. I actually never completely eliminated foods. I realize that wanting to do that right now is a little too "all or nothing". I have to ditch the "all or nothing" attitude, and that's how I've been successful.
Ideally, in the future, I'd like to completely eliminate processed foods, but right now, I'm a student, and can't afford to go completely organic. I do have a freezer full of frozen veggies, lean ground turkey, and chicken. I also have dried beans, quinoa, millet, oatmeal, and brown rice. I know I can do this. I am hoping to get back down to 230 pounds by April. I can do it! I just have to keep going, and keep tracking NOW.
Time is going to pass anyway, and while April seems like a LONG time away, but it will come. I just have to make this happen.
The 2nd was my brother's birthday. We had ice cream and cake. I tracked it, and I even went for a walk with my dad after wards. I feel like I'm back to my old (better) self. I'm optimistic about everything.
This week is my last week of school. Next week is final's week. I have quite a few things to do between now and then but once that's all done, I'm through for the term, and then I'll only have 2 more left. I'm also going to start building my resume and cover letter. I am going to start applying in February. It's exciting, and it's nerve wracking. I just hope that the volunteer experience I gain from next term and spring term is enough to help me get a job.
I feel really good about my future.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Hello everyone! I just finished week 7 of fall term! After this term, I'll have two more terms, or approximately 20 weeks of school left until I graduate. SO EXCITING!
I wanted to go the route of law school after I earn my BA, but I have this really strong feeling that I should find a job first, and then later on, if I want to pursue law school, I will then.
I am actually relieved to make that decision. My fiance is still going to apply, but that was his plan form day one. I want to be able to focus on getting this year taken care of with good grades, and start volunteering somewhere so I can start gaining some experience.
Next term I am going to be taking a volunteer class. I will have the opportunity to work with juveniles, or in schools. I'm so excited! I miss having something to do besides school. I miss helping people, and earning money and dressing in cute office attire. I miss that feeling of having spare cash to go shopping too! I'm not saying I'm going to be rich, but it will be nice to have some money!
As far as weight loss is concerned, I'm doing quite well in spite of the stress of this term. I've managed to lose 16 pounds. That was another reason why I wanted to hold off on graduate school. I want to get to my goal weight by the end of 2014, and I know that the amount of work that law school requires, I won't be able to focus on my health. I really want to continue working on my health.
I have been doing really well with eating, and I've been paying attention to my body and feeling my feelings instead of eating them. That has been truly helpful to my progress.
I also feel like I want to get back to the other sides of me. There's the artistic side that I have neglected, and the musical side of me. I want to explore that side of me again. Without having to do homework, I'll be able to get in touch with those hobbies again.
I am feeling really optimistic about my future. I feel that the volunteer class next term and spring term will help me look for work once I graduate. That means I also need to get letters of recommendation for potential employers. I'm going to start applying for work in February or March. I know that can be a long process so I want to get started earlier.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
I went for a jog today. I decided to see if I could jog five miles nonstop still (It had been a long time, and to my recent memory, the furthest I could go was 4 miles nonstop) I ended up jogging a route and by the time I got closer to my house, I had already jogged about 7 and 3/4 miles. I was already quite surprised that I had gone that far. I realized that if I could just jog a lit bit further, I would finally be able to make 10. So, I ended up finishing on the school track. It took me nine laps around it but I ended up jogging a total of 10 miles nonstop! I am SO proud of myself! I have seriously never done that before. I remembered the triumph I felt when I jogged my first lap around a high school track, and there I was jogging a full 10 miles!
It is especially rewarding because I am heavier than the lowest weight I have ever been, which tells me that even though I've been this weight before, I was NOT as healthy as I am now even with the extra weight. I guess this eases the anger I had towards myself about gaining weight back. The gain didn't take away the fitness that I had been working so hard for.
Another thing that I credit to being able to endure that jog in the first place was swimming. I have been going a couple times per week, and it's been helping me train to temper my breathing so I am more comfortable and able to handle it when I push myself.
I'm definitely sore. I was smart enough to walk around today rather than sit around after something like that. One thing I thought was weird was I actually had salt crystals all over my arms and legs, and it was on my face too. Weird. I have my base time now, so while I'm not going to jog 10 miles every weekend (only because I don't wan to hurt my knees) I will continue to train so that I can shorten my time.
I will admit, it was slow, but the key is I jogged the ENTIRE 10 miles!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Things have been going alright. That is, exercise wise. I struggle with eating-as do most people on this website. I can't seem to get this idea out of my head that I somehow 'deserve' to eat what I do, justifying it with stress from school, and the upcoming entrance paperwork for law school. Most days, I've been able to exercise enough to outweigh the high calories of the food. Others, not so much.
I have been spending about 2 hours there 3 days out of the week. I have been going swimming every other day-to loosen up my muscles and take a break on my joints.
Exercise-wise, I feel great! I really do! But I think part of my struggle is that I spend so much time at home. Only Tuesday and Thursday are really heavy school days that end at 5:20. Monday, I am done for the day class wise at 9:50 as I only have one class. On Wednesdays, I have that same class, and maybe, a class from 4-6:50 if my teacher wants us to meet. It's the senior seminar class so we don't actually meet every week. Even still, there's a huge chunk of time there too. On Fridays, I have no class.
I am definitely grateful to have that much free time-to get to the gym in the first place. I was so disappointed in myself for having gained, but the fact that I can hit the gym makes me less harsh on myself.
Anyway, those large chunks of time when I'm not in class....I am at home, whether it's reading or otherwise. I guess I'm going to have to structure my days differently. I'm going to have to spend a lot of time in the library so I'm not tempted to veg out and just eat. It isn't that I don't have a lot to do-I really do have a lot of reading and research to do. I just come home, and my habit is to watch television and eat.
I am going to try spending more time at the library so I'm not tempted.
I am just glad that I didn't gain all of my weight back. There is still hope. I can still get to a healthy weight by the time I graduate from WOU. I want to also make sure that I always have some kind of access to a gym. Either that, or get an exercise bike for my house. I will NOT let this slip from my fingers.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
Last Monday I started going to the gym again. It's SO NICE to have access to a gym again! I have already spent so much time there. I plan on spending much more. One thing I am going to do differently however, is use the pool more. I have already gone twice, which is more than I had used it last year already. I wish I had been using it sooner. I guess I wasn't as confident in my body as I thought. I finally just told myself to get over it. I'm there to exercise, no one is going to look glamorous at the gym. No, I'm not at my ideal weight, but the only way I'm going to get there is if I keep exercising. Swimming just happens to be a great form of exercise.
Food wise, things have been going quite well. I have been paying a lot more attention to how I feel. I'm finding that I'm not as hungry as I thought I would be. I still have a coffee here and there, but I'm doing so much better overall.
I wanted to to weigh myself, but I decided that I am not going to do that until I feel like I am at a healthy weight for my height. I have lost weight before without weighing myself. I will just listen to my body and when I get to that point, I'll weigh myself. I'm done obsessing over it like I always seem to do. It just leads to misery. Weight loss isn't the only thing I can be good at.
For example I have a lot to do for school this year. I'm thinking "one assignment at a time" so I don't get stressed out and just quit. Well, why can't I apply that to my weight loss? One workout at a time, one meal at a time...It's the same thing.
I am motivated. I feel awesome.
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