Thursday, January 26, 2012
Maybe the lack of sleep the night before but had a down day. Events seemed to bring me down and it wasn't a difficult day. Went to bed early and read for awhile. Then when Hubby came to bed I was awake for awhile but was able to get back to sleep eventually. Hopefully today I'll be more rested and able to roll with things.
Seems like I'm having trouble this winter. I feel emotionally tired with work, Mom, my brother, hubby out of work. I'm usually the positive person and people still see me as positive. Just not feeling it this year and I know better than that. Hubby is a half empty glass person. I am so looking forward to our get away with BFF's and hubby's like it's two weeks and then you are back where you started from...is it worth it. I still say YES! He says vacations aren't worth it to him...there is no rest and relaxation it's go! go! go! But to me it is a break...lots of laughter, memories and yes it will be a long year without as many days off. He says all those things and he'll be enjoying himself the most.
Know that a different job may not solve my issues. Maybe I'm changing inside and have to deal with the changes in life and that makes me emotional. My life has been turned upside down with me being the major bread winner and hubby at home. I know it's not where he thought he/we would be at this stage of our lives. It has been going on for the last 10 years off and on but this time it seems harder for him to get back into a job.
Takes me awhile to process thoughts. Hubby kinda lets it all dump out. I try to be quiet and think through things. I don't want to say things I will regret and things I might not be able to take back. The things he spills out tend to run over and over through my head.
So a rough evening last night! Determined to keep going and get through the rough spots. Trying to learn about myself and the stages I am going through and remember my value through Christ and not what I perceive others to think of me.
I am off to make it a great day! Learning as I go!