Wednesday, March 09, 2011
So much for good intensions...took Mom to new hairdresser so she could walk there in the future and wouldn't depend on me...that was her whole reason for changing. So we go and new lady is so nice and we scheduled her a perm and mom says...schedule it around her schedule so she can bring me...I'm like Mom the whole purpose is so you can come on your own...and she said..what if it's rainy or cold I can't walk down here...will you come with me...>UGH! So it was all for not...plus we had a 40 minute wait because others were slow getting there so backed up our appointment. It was of NO savings of time for me...except now we can't get in and out as quickly. Then afterwards took her to dinner. I know she enjoys time together. Taking her out for a girl's day Saturday. Going to get undergarments. Everytime we do she won't wear them...they don't fit right. UGH! Love her dearly yet she manipulates to get more time with me. She makes me feel guilty that I'm not over there every day. Hard to find balance. We haven't spent as much time with her as we used to when they first moved here. There are things we need to get done and we've been traveling some weekends this year. Some times I feel frustrated spending time with her when I need to get things done at home. I come home and I'm exhausted....I'm drained and used up. I know she's a priority. Some day when she's gone I can declutter and get things done at home all I want. Guess it would be easier if she wasn't an EGR person. I realize that I'm one of those people that she wants to be around...I'm a positive, confident person who she feels safe with and we have fun and laugh. I make her feel good...I'm not critical. My memory is usually no better than her's and I don't think I have Alzheimer's yet She wants to be around me because I energize her and brighten her day. I struggle because afterwards I'm drained and all my effort for the time seems at times like it was useless. We spend all Saturday looking for the right bras...and a month later she'll be like...They don't fit...we need to go look for new ones. Stop complaining and move forward. I won't regret spending time with her someday when she's gone. I desire to make her latter years comfortable and enjoyable. I will do the right thing...just need to find ways to recharge afterwards. I know she knows we will take care of her and we are there for her. She does get bored...because she won't join any activities in her community. She is more comfortable with us. I need to take advantage of her physical ability to move easily. Some day she won't be able to go shopping with me and keep up. Then it will be a struggle to take her places. She tires now...but she can walk the malls or shop all day with rest breaks. After a day out...she is alive and more energetic and her mind is so much better. She has been stimulated.
Work went OK. Boss had me out running errands...out of the office for a couple of hours...Yipee! By the end of the day co-worker actually came in and talked with me...about purchases for the baby. Guess she was finally social by the end of the day. I try to be respectful and polite to her all day...and respect not talking to her until after 10:30 except I greet her when she comes in the AM.
Lots of issues working on. Know God has me right here for a reason. Need to work on dealing with difficult people..mother in law and co-worker...ha! ha! Off to seize the day!