Monday, November 05, 2012
Mom was difficult yesterday morning. Not sure if she was up all night afraid she'd oversleep with time change or what but she was so moody at lunch. I was dreading the Harvest meal yesterday evening...I just withdraw...afraid I'll say something I'll regret. She had to sit on a wooden chair instead of a booth as they were crowded and busy...she sat next to a window and wouldn't change sides because she would face the wrong direction and said she was cold by the window. Offered to put my coat behind her and so did hubby but no she wouldn't do that...wouldn't change seats either. Made a big deal about waitress spilling coffee on her and burning her. Waitress was just helping her as she was unable to pour her own coffee....and waitress apologized and when she left Mom complained the coffee was too cold to drink!!!!!
Trying not to become unglued but I feel the stress weighed me down when she pulls stunts like that. I want to say change seats so we can stop hearing you belly ache about how cold you are...just do something about it. Stop whining and complaining like a little child. But I didn't. She talks about days going by so slowly...asked if she was going to go to her retirment complex Thanksgiving dinner. No it's already happened...no Mom it's the 17th...well I haven't signed up so I can't go. Now I know she could still go. She tells me she won't accept rides from other neighbors down to breakfast because she doesn't want to put anyone out...and yet she piles a huge load on us by expecting us to entertain her...ugh!
Anyway was dreading last night but she must have rested some yesterday afternoon because she was in pleasant mood last night. Ate with co-worker and hubby at our table and had a nice evening. Got to see minister's new son...lots of hair. Great time of Praising God!
Know I need to work through all this. Used to take Mom shopping for clothes and out doing girl things but she is growing so difficult and cranky I dread going. We shop and purchase things and then she'll say they don't fit or she can't find where she put them and forgets she got them or decides she doesn't like them and I feel like my time has been wasted. I dread taking her out for a precious day off...and she gripes and grumbles the whole day and I'm left drained and frustrated with her...so I have less and less time for her. I feel guilty about it. Nor sure where I would find the time for it...but I would make time to do some little things with her....like go to the coffee shop and just talk. I no longer have the energy to try and cajole her and tease with her...I just grow quiet. I know she'd like to spend a day just shopping around and adventuring...just not able to right now and if I have time...I can find something better to do.
Looking forward to time away with son and daughter in law. Hopefully I won't download too much on them about their Grandma. Not sure how to process through this. Mom wanted to go to our little town's Christmas Open House this coming weekend. Don't think hubby's told her we're out of town. Will try and take her to Christmas Open homes in December.
Hopefully daughter will take her out while they are home at Christmas time. They enjoy time together and it's good for both of them. When she was back she acted so much like I once used to with her and had a wonderful time. Made my heart swell with pride to see what a wonderful lady she is growing into.
So will work on trying to understand what stresses me out so much about being around Mom and how I can learn to love her where she is and not let it get to me and let her words roll off and not make me feel so guilty and a bad daughter in law.....a learning process....
The journey of life is an adventure. Thankfully we have had Mom around so I can work on these issues in my life.
Been about two weeks...hubby hasn't heard about last interview. Wonder if maybe we need to do something else but not sure what that would be. This time been about a 2 year stretch. I know it allows time for hubby to take care of Mom and maybe that is part of it....