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Wacky Wednesday

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Had a melt down at work yesterday. Co-worker had lunch meeting with boss and came back and shared what they talked about. He's really going to crank up pressure to sell. Maybe all the emotions just came out...I feel so angry I just started crying. I am so frustrated in my job. I don't like what I do...sales isn't my make up. My last boss he never saw me cry...I am rarely a cryer. Don't know if it's hormones, frustration with my job, changes with work and more pressure, daughter going home, frustrations with mother in law. But I let loose and told co-worker I don't like my job. May be a big mistake. She may run to boss with it. We are good friends...I think but don't put it past her to tell him how I reacted. Hubby is out of work and I wonder if he'll ever get a job and I feel like it's foolish to walk away.

Listened to John Maxwell's video conference last night and in my gut I know I'm not where I'm gifted and talented. Yet not sure what to do. So I lay it at Jesus' feet and pray for wisdom and guidance.

Our boss is young 36 and doesn't deal with emotions. I tend to get emotional around him and I don't know why. Hubby says I read too much into everything. I really feel like he thinks I'm 55 and over the hill and won't be there long. It's been a hard transition from being my last boss' right hand person to the low peon. I know I get myself all worked up and it seems like I make mistakes around him all the time...even for vacation time...I double checked my calendar and I hadn't turned it over to October. He never says anything...just states my mistake..the 6th is a saturday...and I end up feeling really stupid.

I also think at this stage I don't want to work where I'm so miserable. It's been a long process 2 1/2 years of struggle.

Then I think I need to bloom where I'm planted. God may have me here for a reason. Maybe I'm to get good at keeps my mind racing with all the toughts. So goes my thoughts and emotions for the day!

Off to make it a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGFOWLER 10/11/2012 6:40AM

    Kathleen my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine being in a job that I didn't enjoy. I know you had that at one time. Perhaps it is time to step out and start looking for something else. Certainly even in this economy there has to be something that you will be a good fit and that will help relieve some stress. Being the only bread winner has to be hard and a caretaker on top of that. I don't know how you do it. emoticon Donna

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AVANELL 10/10/2012 10:43AM

    Your situation so reminds me of mine at that point in my life when I realized that insurance sales just wasn't for me. I hated my job as well and yet I stayed in it for 14 years. It wasn't until I began to realize that if I wanted a difference in my life I would have to trust God and step out in faith to look for something different. He will let us stay where we are until we decide to trust Him for change. I learned a lot during those years about relationships, how to communicate with different personality types and, of course, myself. I pray that God will show you what you are to take from this experience that will benefit you for life and that He will give you the grace to either stay or go and that He will provide the way of escape for you to move on to something else. When I prayed about my job there were times that He encouraged me to stay and allow Him to develop perseverance within me, but when it was time to move on He provided a much better position in agricultural lending where I still was able to utilize my insurance training but wasn't consumed with the sales aspect of it. He has a good plan for your life, as well! He will provide!

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CLWALDRO 10/10/2012 8:26AM

    What I think you are experiencing is stress fracture. You seem to be the one who is trying to hold it all together for your family.
I am going to say a prayer for you right now that God in his infinite wisdom will show you the path he wants you on. Listen for his answer and then have faith to walk the path he will show you

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Terrific Tuesday

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Struggling with my attitude at work. Not liking all the pressure from making sales calls now and work piles up. Putting off doing things I don't like to do. I know do them first. Really not liking my job but know I should be thankful for the job I have. We have people coming in struggling looking for jobs and I grumble and groan about my job. Trusting God to help me through this season. When I think about it I feel like God has provided and I'm so ungreatful. Going to bloom where I'm planted. Hubby still struggling to find a job and I'm wanting to quit my job....

Boss will be in today...with God's help we can get through the day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGFOWLER 10/10/2012 5:49AM

    I'm lucky to work somewhere that I enjoy. I will be praying Kathleen for your situation. It's tough going to a job everyday that you don't enjoy. Hang in there. God will provide!!!!.. hugs,, Donna

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RSSSLHB 10/9/2012 9:52AM


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AVANELL 10/9/2012 7:55AM

    I can understand your feelings. I spent a lot of my working years in insurance and I never liked making the sales calls. But God got me through it and He will you, too! Keep looking to Jesus and depending on Him. This, too, will pass!


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Magnificient Monday

Monday, October 08, 2012

Had a good rest and ready to start the week. Planning to go to Curves after work. Mom stated several times she WASN'T going to go today...not sure we'll see what she says this AM when I talk with her.

House a little chilly this AM may need to think about turning on the heat. Fall is sure here.

Off to begin my week!

Daughter made it safely home around 9 pm...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGFOWLER 10/10/2012 5:48AM

    Good to hear that your doctor made it home safe and sound. Like most of us mom will probably changer her mind about Curves.. we have a Curves here in town too, but I've never been there...

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SUNSET09 10/8/2012 6:33AM

  It's the start of a great week. Way to go and hopefully, Mom goes with you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Sunday Evening

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Daughter in flight home. She should get there around 8:30. Had a wonderful time with her. Got to spend a lot of time with her, Grandma got to spend time with her, got to spend time with her dad and with her friends. Hard to see her go but know she's become the beautiful lady she is by doing what she we give them wings to soar.

Hopefully she and boyfriend will be home in 2 1/2 months for Christmas. Just when they become wonderful people to be with...they move far away.... emoticon

Mom was a pill today. I woke up and thought about calling her and then forgot. She called us at 8:30 and wondered where we were...we had told her 9 -9:30 and we always call before we come get her...and she called on my cell phone and boy was she mad at me because I'd told her 8 am. Daughter and hubby and I had together told her 9 - 9:30 but she was hot at me....probably why she called my cell phone. Guess it's part of the Alheimers...used to let it roll off but it really ticks me off. I try never to say anything and tend to get quiet and take it. It does no good to argue as she gets more upset and angry. Guess it's another clue that moving her in with us would be a very bad idea down the road. Not sure I want to live with all the anger and confusion...will have me thinking I'm right there with her. It would be so much easier if she was easy to get a long with but she has always been and Extra Grace Required and it's growing worse as the disease progresses. My dear sweet aunt at 90 is such a joy to be around and my mother in law is 76 and so contankerous and difficult and moody and seeminly so ungreatful. She is always complaining about something and my Aunt is always talking about her blessings....and dwelling on the positive.

I sound like her right????? I have felt so blessed with this visit from my daughter. She is so good with Grandma...more like I used to be. I enjoyed my time with my daughter. God knows doesn't He! It seemed just what my heart needed. A good long visit. And time with my son here as his wife was traveling. How precious to have them both under our roof once again. How very blessed and special memories I have to treasure. Daughter and I got many early walks in before I went to work. Precious times together. I am so thankful and feel so blessed, Our God is truly awesome. He sometimes blesses us in ways we never dreamed or beyond or dreams and thoughts.

I do try to remember that Mom is so precious to us as our only living parent. I try to remember how fragile and fleeting this time is with her. One day she too will be gone and I will wish for the aggrevations back just to have her around once again. I try always to remember that which helps to keep my mouth shut when I want to argue or speak back when she is angry with us or mean., I know this is a scary season of her life and control is slipping out of her reach.

I'm in this seaon for a reason and planning to learn and grow from my experiences.

Have a report to type up for work tomorrow. So hard to focus with phones and customers coming in to think it all through and put it down.

Off to enjoy the evening and treasuring memories of a lifetime.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNABOY 10/7/2012 11:30PM

    Bitter sweet is still sweet.

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NDTEACHER1 10/7/2012 9:33PM

    Glad you had some good memories and hopefully your mom will have a better day tomorrow. Hang in there and just love her even when she is unlovable. Too bad you get the brunt of her anger.

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DLDROST 10/7/2012 8:33PM


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CSDAYS 10/7/2012 8:18PM

    Glad to be with your daughter and I had a day with my granddaughter. We baked her first pumpkin pie together (she's 11), went shopping, and of course enjoyed each other.


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Terrific Thursday

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Took the day off and am going to spend it with my daughter. There is a little town Waynesville about 45 mintues away that is full of lillte antique shops and gifts shops. It's really a neat little town. Daughter doesn't remember ever going there and we are going to spend the day wandering around it. It has little restaurants and one I especially like. It will be fun just spending the day with her.

I have enjoyed her visit so much. Usually she is just here for a few days...the 10 days has been wonderful...a very good visit. She's gotten to spend time with Grandma and she just loves time with her Grand daughter. They have had a good time together.


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