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Terrific Thursday

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Went to bed at 8:30 last night. Storm was just starting and oh so tired. Have gotten Mom to Curves twice this week...planning to get her there again tonight. We both need it.

New phone system at work. Yesterday we did some training and today they are supposed to be up and running. Now we can transfer to other location and it's like we're all under one roof. The plan is to eventually eliminate some of the incoming calls. When our home office hooks up billing and claims will automatically go to Home Office. I'm sure people may not always like it but we're hoping the call volume will be less so we can focus on other things and maybe have some uninterrupted time.

Knee is limping along. It is doing OK but not where it used to be. Trying to baby it and praying it gets stronger....

Have to deal with difficult issue at work today..but we will get through it.

Off to make it a great day!

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EDITOR 7/26/2012 6:02AM

    Mom sounded positive even with swollen ankle. I have that from BP at times. Hope a follow up will make her realize she is in good hands all around.

Hoping work eases up with new system.

Wanting that knee to recover. Blessings today and always. emoticon

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Terrific Tuesday

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

On my way to work always call Mom and she apologized for the way she was Sunday and how she treated me. It went a long way in diffusing my hurt. Poured my heart out to God and he answered. Fortunately I've been growing quiet when she gets that way and I don't have words I'm sorry I said back to her.

Took Mom to Curves last night after work and she had had a good night sleep and was in a very good mood. Had done her laundry, has a hair appointment today where she can walk down to it. Getting her out and being with her elevates her moods so much. I just can't do it as much as she would like. She is so draining. They have so many activities in her retirement community if she would just participate she would feel so much better. We try and take her to events if we can so she will go to them and enjoy the music or entertainment. They always have something nice for each holiday.

Mom called me Saturday night at 9 pm and wondered where I was...she was dressed and ready for church. Guess she fell asleep and thought it was morning time and got up and got ready. Maybe down the road I can look back and laugh at some of the humorous things. She is able to live by herself for now and I am thankful for that and get around on her own...for now and I'm thankful for that.

Got home from exercise changed my clothes and off to meeting until 9:30. Makes for a short night.

Was able to get in a noontime walk and knee did OK yesterday. Had the song "How Great Is Our God" rolling through my head as I walked and was so blessed by the nature all around me. Saw a doe and fawn, lots of ducks and geese around the pond with their growing babies, hear the booming voices of the bullfrogs croaking and saw such beautifu flowers blooming even with all our hot weather. Saw some beautiful pink hollyhocks growing in some of the ditches. The Nature preserve must spread seeds or plants...because I can't imagine them growing naturally in those areas...but they were such a joy and blessing to see such beautiful big blooms. Instead of walking it is more of a Praise Walk...I am just truly blessed and in awe with what I see all around me.

Bought a velcro knee brace and that really seems to help. Kept it on all day and that really seemed to help also. Fortunately it fits under my slacks.

Company coming Saturday and we are hosting dinner out with Corvette Club Saturday night. Never a dull moment around here. Then Sunday afternoon have some friends over for lunch so they can chat with our company and help to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Got a menu in my mind so will try to figure out what all I will need and make up my list.

Off to make it a great day! If weather permits hope to get in a walk at lunchtime

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYJOANNA 7/24/2012 5:54AM

  You are showing your Mom signs of a true Christian. How nice it is of you to include her in your many activities. It seems the table turns when parents get older and we become the caregivers.

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DGFOWLER 7/24/2012 5:44AM

    Good morning Kathleen. So glad you had a Motivating Monday and that your Tuesday is going to be terrific. Keeping a positive attitude and your faith is seeing you through the rough times you are having. You are lucky to have your mom with you right now. I would say you are making memories that will last a lifetime and even though you run across some rough patches you get through them eventually. A few weeks before my dad died I wrote this poem.

Making Memories of You

I stood at the door of your bedroom
I watch each breath that you take,
I wonder what you are thinking
But its memories dad I need to make.

Cancer has been with you so long
Oh, the toil it has taken on you,
all I want to do right now
Is make memories to get me through.

I remember when I was growing up
dad you were hard to take to reach,
I know now as I look back
lifes lessons you were trying to teach.

When I had a family of my own
dad you were always there,
now its you that is leaving me
my heart breaks its so hard to bear.

I know well meet again someday
In heaven bright and fair,
where we will never have to part
our lives once more well share.

Have a great day Kathleen. emoticon Donna

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EDITOR 7/24/2012 5:33AM

    I am so sorry that it appears I missed a day. I haven't and I am glad you are still being more generous to Mom than anyone else could possibly be.
I can not say that she will improve. Not going to happen at this stage. But your walk of kindness, gentleness,s and memories are what is important to her as quality of life diminish.

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Magnificient Monday

Monday, July 23, 2012

Still recovering from adventure with Mom yesteray. I know she's elderly...our only parent left. She can be so difficult which is why she probably rarely hears from her daughter far away in Texas. For some reason I want to please her and make her happy and we have a fun time. She asked me to take her and then tells me...I didn't bring my coupons because no one told me we were going shopping. I try to realize it's all tied into the dementia and early Alzheimer's yet I still end up taking it personally when she snaps at me. I end up feeling like I wasted my day for nothing. It makes me want to take her less and less and there are times I need to take her out and get things. Yesterday she's starting to talk about needing new underwear. I have taken her out to get fitted by experts so they fit well and paid big bucks for expensive ones and they don't fit she says.

I'm thankful she lived far away for most of our lives. Yet I long for her to be comfortable, loved and enjoy the latter years of her life. We have had good times together and I long for those days to just be buddies. I know she appreciates what we she tells us frequently but it wears me out being around her much any more. I come back drained, frustrated discouraged and worn out.

Yet I know I shouldn't take it all to heart and add the burden to my load. I also get discouraged as I come home and her son (my hubby) carries so many of her difficult traits I wonder if after she's gone...I will have the newer generation of her left to deal with. He's repicking up all her traits being around her.

Boy I am on a bummer today. Woke up early and need to get in God's word to soothe the soul and refocus.

Meeting tonight after work so will be a late evening. Trying to decide whether to squeeze in Curves tonight after work with MOM. Probably will do us both good.

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    Hang in there. It sounds like you're doing your best. She is very lucky to have you. emoticon

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SHARON10002 7/23/2012 5:40PM

    I agree with all that has been said here. You can't change your husband, but perhaps you could sit down and discuss some of his "traits' that are bothering you. You could ask God to intervene now to open your eyes to seeing him differently.

I know how hard it is to take care of an aging parent. It is so very hard to see our parents, our pillars of strength, as they age and we watch them decline.

A couple of suggestions you might try...
One of my friends leaves little post its around for her mother with gentle reminders; i.e "Take the bus to the store at 10:00 AM Tuesday"; "Concert in dining room Thursday 7/18 at 7:30 PM"; "Robert (her brother) coming tomorrow." She also bought her an alarm click that tells, DAY, DATE, and time so her mother knows what day it is. She calls her every time before she goes over, to let her know that she is coming, and reminds her of things she knows will be happening that day, and asks if there is anything she needs to bring. This might help you to help her with the things she wants to remember if you do this. She also has taped directions to her answering machine to help her use it. Your mom probably knows that she is not remembering things as she should, and feels confused. They don't want anyone to know.

I hope that God will give you the patience and compassion to help you deal with your feelings as you help her during this time.

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AVANELL 7/23/2012 10:20AM

    You have a lot on your plate with working and caring for an elderly parent. I pray that God strengthens you for your journey and lightens the load that you are carrying. Don't anticipate a rerun of her life through your husband. The past doesn't have to determine the future if we don't let it. He may carry some of her traits but he is an individual of his own and God is able to change the negatives into positives in his life. The devil would like for you to see your situation as never changing and the curses of one generation flowing down to another, but be encouraged in knowing that God is able to make a way where there seems to be no way. He is there with you to help you, to give you hope and to fulfill the good plan that He has for your life. God bless you! May you have a great day today!

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KALLIE1958AR 7/23/2012 8:23AM

    Hi .. I do understand how you feel .. I can imagine what my daughter feels alot . She is my caregiver and I live like right here .. But I think the thing to remember is I know yo u love her and she took care of you for the first years of your life Smiles .. Funny how you get to repay huh lol .. I pray you get strength to share the time you have left I lost my dad last year and it is hard .. You love them want what is best for them same as we did our Children growing them up .. I get to help with my Grandchildren and I enjoy .. it .. I have a granddaughter Amber whos off to camp today .. will miss her but I say its only a week not forever .. I guess you understand .. embrace each day you never know when it will be the last day .. God Bless .. emoticon

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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Praise Team went well. Took Mom to breakfast/lunch and then we went shopping for shoes for her. Drove to two different malls and knew we weren't going to find anything to go on her ankle. It still swells. She was picky about shoes before and now she's impossible to fit. She was in a difficult mood. She asked me to take her. I was dragging my feet on the inside but tried to make the best of it. I know time with her should be precious. I want to go out and have fun with her. Yet she snaps at me a is grumbling and moaning the whole time. Then on the way home she apologizes and knows she is difficult and how much she appreciates me. I know all that but the more experiences we have the less I want to do for her. I want to have fun like we once did. I try to hold it all in and just be quiet. She gets more upset if I argue something with just try to stay calm and quiet. I am becoming more and more quiet. She gets more and more twisted and turned around. Part of the process I guess. I pray I never become this difficult to be around.

Hubby will be taking her to foot Dr when they schedule appt. See if they can do anything for her swelling ankle. But if she won't take care of it...gotta keep her moving or it will be more difficult to care for her.

Off to make it a great evening....

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EDITOR 7/23/2012 5:31AM

    My Dad had ALZ and my MIL had ALZ and moved in with us. No more difficult times than that in my life and they both suffered within months of each other. It stripped me of my independence. I did resent, quite truthfully, the buden I bore. DH and I were sometimes at odds and I couldn't leave the house. My families were at odds over who was or who wasn't doing enough. One thing I did learn from that is that God never gave me more than I could bear, and looking back it was not top one of my hard times in life.

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MARYJOANNA 7/23/2012 5:05AM

  The important thing is that you are standing by her and try to help her in every way. Have you ever tried saying,"God loves you and so do I?" Maybe that would jar her into a bit more of reality. All we can do is pray to God for endurance and strength. Best wishes to you.

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EDITOR 7/23/2012 3:54AM

    It is rough. Be quiet if you have to. Hope the foot doctor can help. Just let Mom know you are doing the best you can and be assured that you are.

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AVANELL 7/22/2012 10:16PM

    I know it's a difficult time for you and for your mother as well. I remember when my mother went through all that and I didn't enjoy the times with her as much as I would have liked. But now that she's gone, I would take even the difficult times just to be able to be with her again and to be able to hug her and tell her I love her. God will strengthen you for the task ahead of you. Enjoy her as much as you can because someday she will be gone.

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LDMCNIEL 7/22/2012 8:31PM

    emoticon. I can't imagine what that is like. I witnessed my mom and aunt go through that with my grandmother. I wish you all the best and will pray for God to give you all the strength and patience you need.

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Lovely Saturday

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Went to Farmer's Market this AM and got fresh cantelope, summer squash and stringless green beans. Yum! Yum!

Got some cleaning done as we have more company coming next weekend. Hubby and I went for a ride. The weather is gorgous 82 with a nice breeze. The sun felt so good. Went to Arboritum and went through Butterfly sanctuary. Really interesting and then walked in the woods on trails. Surprised Hubby heard about it and wanted to go. Really enjoyed being out in nature. The flowers were gorgeous and such pretty butterflies...AWWWW

Praise Team tomorrow and then taking Mom shoe shopping. Not sure I'm up for that but we'll see. Not sure what she will want as she doesn't know. Her foot is still swelling. Had regular Dr visit Friday and she told her that since she won't ice it or wear a brace or bandage around will be very slow to heal if it ever heals. She is not happy with Dr so has referred her to foot specialist. Glad hubby is in charge of this Dr visit. We had it re-x-rayed to make sure it wasn't broken awhile back and it wasn't. Now Mom said their machine must have been broken because she KNOWS her foot has been broken. You can't get that out of her head. Maybe a new Dr will make her happy...or NOT. At least we are getting it checked into further.

Nice realxing day! Enjoyed myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDITOR 7/22/2012 2:59AM

    A great day and you bought good foods for the week.

It was a gorgeous day her yesterday too.

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MNABOY 7/21/2012 10:51PM

    Must be cooler or less humid than here. The butterflies are staying in the shade!

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LDMCNIEL 7/21/2012 8:52PM

    Sounds like you had a great day!

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