Monday, July 23, 2012
Still recovering from adventure with Mom yesteray. I know she's elderly...our only parent left. She can be so difficult which is why she probably rarely hears from her daughter far away in Texas. For some reason I want to please her and make her happy and we have a fun time. She asked me to take her and then tells me...I didn't bring my coupons because no one told me we were going shopping. I try to realize it's all tied into the dementia and early Alzheimer's yet I still end up taking it personally when she snaps at me. I end up feeling like I wasted my day for nothing. It makes me want to take her less and less and there are times I need to take her out and get things. Yesterday she's starting to talk about needing new underwear. I have taken her out to get fitted by experts so they fit well and paid big bucks for expensive ones and they don't fit she says.
I'm thankful she lived far away for most of our lives. Yet I long for her to be comfortable, loved and enjoy the latter years of her life. We have had good times together and I long for those days to just be buddies. I know she appreciates what we do...as she tells us frequently but it wears me out being around her much any more. I come back drained, frustrated discouraged and worn out.
Yet I know I shouldn't take it all to heart and add the burden to my load. I also get discouraged as I come home and her son (my hubby) carries so many of her difficult traits I wonder if after she's gone...I will have the newer generation of her left to deal with. He's repicking up all her traits being around her.
Boy I am on a bummer today. Woke up early and need to get in God's word to soothe the soul and refocus.
Meeting tonight after work so will be a late evening. Trying to decide whether to squeeze in Curves tonight after work with MOM. Probably will do us both good.