Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Good question. I've been doing WW since 2002 (except for the year I took off, we won't go there yet). Took me some time to figure out that sometimes when there was a gain at the scale were weeks when he cooked often. He was the ultimate saboteur. I think he took pleasure at keeping me the way I was. Well honestly, I think he was afraid that when I reached my goal that I would leave. We went through many battles over this. I was at the stage where I had lost 75 lbs. He would ongoingly tell me I looked sick. Maybe I did, but I felt so healthy. My back didn't hurt, I was able to breath better( at the time I smoked).
Then came the year I had some miner health issues, other things happened, I quit smoking, etc...... I gained back about 80-85 lbs. It took me about one year to work up the nerve to get back into a Weight watcher meeting. I felt like it was the lowest place in my life ever.
It was at this time my husband and I had the old conversation about me "not getting to thin that I looked sick again," that I cried. He didn't get it. When I explained to him the reasons I wanted to lose weight had nothing to do with being "thin." When I explained to him that I would probably die if I didn't, I think it scared him. There were so many things that happened during the year I gained back all that weight. the fact that I did....But now I was a non smoker on a mission. I want to live and see my family grow. I need to have the pressure of this weight off my neck and back. If I'm active more, maybe my thyroid and cholesterol levels will come down.
It's funny sometimes to see him in the kitchen trying to figure out if what he cooks, can I eat it. He has come a long way from hiding the butter and oil in everything he cooks. I have also figured out that when he cooks... if it's over the top delish... take a bite and find something else to eat.
He also now questions me when he sees me with something he knows I shouldn't have. He's become my conscience.