Saturday, June 15, 2013
What would you do if...
everyone knows the end of that sentence...if you knew you could not fail.
What if the reason we fail sometimes is because we expect to?
Let me tell you a little story of a conversation I had with a friend a few days ago:
Me: "I need to get started running again or I am not going to be able to race this summer."
Him: "What are you training for, 10K or a half?"
Me: "No just a 5K, then a sprint tri."
Him: "Why are you training for a 5k?"
Me: "I haven't run in over a year, since I had PF- I couldn't run a mile right now."
Him: "What is PF? Wait a minute...you actually believe that don't you?"
Me: "I know it. I can run for about 5 minutes before I feel like my lungs are on fire and I have to walk."
Him: "That's bull_____(insert spark unfriendly term here) Hollynn. You don't really believe that do you?"
Me: "Um, yeah...I think so"
Him: "So you cycled 60 miles yesterday and you think you can't run 3 miles. You're kidding right? You are in shape. Put on your shoes and just keep going. "
Me: "Really, you think I could run 3 miles? Without training? I am not a naturally athletic person like you are."
Yeah, that's where the conversation became silence. Followed by more conversation of "you don't really believe that do you." But I do, or....I did.
I went home and for two days I couldn't get that conversation out of my head. I have never liked running. My lungs burn, things jiggle and in general I hate every second because I feel clumsy and slow. It NEVER would have occurred to me that I could run that far without training. Now fellow sparks I am not advocating for advancing your running too fast or in general avoiding training, but you have to understand - I just wanted to know if he was right. I wanted to know if I was an "athletic person" who could just put on tennis shoes and run a 5K because I felt like it.
So tonight, I got on the treadmill.
I know you know where this is going...
But it is still amazing me...
I turned up the music on the ipod and tried to ignore the numbers. The first two minutes were hard, but I just focused on keeping my feet moving. After about 15 minutes I was amazed and actually started to settle down into a pattern. About 30 minutes in 1 felt a little tired but not so bad I had to stop, especially given I felt like I was doing so well. And the next thing I know - my 5K run is done. It wasn't my best 5K time ever, but it wasn't bad either.
So my brain is still reeling from the implications of this:
How long have I been able to do this?
Am I an athlete?
How much further could I have gone
More importantly : I wonder what else I am capable of. Yeah, I totally want to find out.
Apparently this blog has created some negative feelings about me for a few people who commented on my now deleted status posts, posted here (some deleted) or sent emails.
I have run MANY 5K and 10K races as well as triathlon. That doesn't make me a confident runner necessarily. I do consider myself athletic in skiing and cycling, I just think that I still feel limited by my weight somewhat (I am still 30-40lbs overweight, even with my muscle mass and yes, I know what my fat percentage is and it isn't low - so things jiggle and shake). I am also asthmatic and quite honestly, running just makes me anxious. One of my long term goals is overcoming my aversion to running and I thought this was a positive step in the right direction - and I thought it was something others might identify with. It does NOT mean I have a huge self identity or self esteem problem. I try to keep my posts positive and was surprised by the backlash on this one. If you feel the need to write something negative please send to my email and don't post publicly.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Yes, I promise Ghana blog is still coming...I always have a little reverse culture shock when I return to the states and it takes me a week or two to process the disparities in the world. I have great pics and stories and look forward to sharing them.
In the meantime - my most eventful things this week include
1. The joy of getting rabies shots (yeah, I know I am a doctor but I am still afraid of needles)
2. Two new pierces - love 'em (ironic, I am afraid of needles, but have many pierces)
3. Finally got back on my cycle today after a month away - 35 miles in!
There were about 50 of these bats in the tree outside our house in Ghana - that didn't bother me too much - it was the one living in our house - swooping around that made me nervous. That and the fact that I have had several patients there die of rabies. Rabies take 60 days to develop and is 100% lethal. So...the first thing I did on arrival from the airport was go to the ED and get rabies shots...
Yeah, that was super fun
And that was just the shots on day 1! Additional shots days 3, 7 and 14
Yep, I am a typical Gen- Xer in that I enjoy body modification as a way of expression. No tattoos, but plenty of pierces. After seeing very beautiful body modifications in Ghana (scarification, tattoos, waist beads, etc) I decided that it was time for some new jewelry myself. I replaced a vertical tragus pierce that rejected several years ago (picture one - purple bar in front of my ear canal) and I got a pierce I have wanted for years - nape of the neck. Say what you want but I *love* it - pics below
In answer to the obvious question...Yes, it hurt
Took a virtual ride with Marty (GIANTOCR1) today. This was my first time on the cycle in the past month - so it felt a lot like a first ride of spring - need to get back on the bike more this week! Despite this, still managed to get in 35 miles of beautiful WV country roads. The air was crisp (mid 50s) but it was sunny and beautiful. Hope you enjoy the photos from my ride.
Hope you enjoyed my adventures this week
Lots of love
Hollynn aka SpunkyDucky
Friday, April 19, 2013
This is just a quick note to let you all know that I am back from Ghana. I missed all of you and being able to catch up with things on Spark. Got home yesterday and promptly went to the ER for rabies shots since I had a bat living in the house with me in Ghana and think I got bit. 7 huge shots - ouchie! Today I am a bit jet lagged and trying to get unpacked and organized -back to work tomorrow!
I promise to put some pics up from my time in Ghana, but I need a little time to process things.
Right now - just happy to be back
Friday, March 29, 2013
I really didn't have time to ride today. The last 24 hours have been spent rushing around trying to make sure that all of my last minute things are in line for my trip to Ghana.
Antimalaria pills, antibiotics - check
Sunscreen - check
Medical supplies - check
etc, etc, etc
Flight leaves tomorrow at 4pm and I won't be back until April 18th!
However, peaking outside I noticed a few rays of sunshine trying to break through the clouds and decided that a quick ride was exactly what I needed. Geared up and headed out. I only managed to sneak in a 20 mile quick ride, but already my stress feels better.
I am willing to bet I am MORE productive tonight because of that ride!
Hopefully by the time I return from Ghana I won't have to wear my winter cycling gear anymore!
Happy weekend & Happy Easter everyone!
Hollynn aka SpunkyDucky
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