Today is my 11 month Sparkversary! It is also the first month that I have not lost any weight since starting this journey. 95 lbs in the first 10 months and 0 this month. AAAAaaarrrrrgggghhhHHH! So this month instead of reflecting on what I am doing well, I spent some time thinking about what I need to do to get back on track.
In the beginning I worked very hard to center myself each day on the Spark. I logged in, logged my food and read articles. Over time I spent less time on the Spark because I needed to catch up on life, especially this spring when several difficulties have arisen in my personal life. I stopped making small goals and did not journal as often, there were many things I did not want to journal about so I set it aside for much of the last two months.
Looking back I think it was a few simple things that helped me center myself daily. These are the things that I am going to focus on each day for the next month to see if I can get back on track:
1. Log into Spark daily
2. Review other people's Spark pages for motivation and to remind myself that other people struggle and triumph as well
3. JOURNAL! Focus on one thing I am proud of for that day
4. Make several small goals
5. Reward myself for meeting my goals
That's it actually. I have exercised every day this year, so keeping that part up will be easy. Any help and encouragement from my Sparkbuddies is greatly appreciated. I really want to be proud of my progress 30 days from now!
The last few days have been hard for me and although I exercised daily, I did it half-heartedly (see prior blog). Today I was scheduled for outdoor cycling as part of my prep for my August 28th triathlon. As I left work I looked at the sky: yup definitely going to rain soon. Usually that means hitting the treadmill and watching old 24 (love Jack Bauer) reruns on tv. But today, I knew I needed to get outside and maybe even break through some barriers. So I said "to heck with it, a little rain never hurt anyone." Fast forward 3 miles onto the trail, the heavens open up and torrential downpour to the point I had to stop a few times because I could not see 2 feet in front of me. I think it was so ridiculous I actually laughed out loud for the first time in several days. And I continued onward...Hard to imagine one year ago I wouldn't venture outside, let alone exercise out there if the weather wasn't perfect. The picture above is me in the last mile of my 16 mile ride when the rain finally let up and all that remains is me, dripping wet and satisfied because I stuck it out. In all fairness, it was a killer workout!
I lost a good friend this week and I am having a hard time. My cat Oliver, died 2 days ago after being with me for the past 18.5 years. I rescued Oliver from a shelter back in early 1992 when I was a second year college student. I snuck him through years of dorm living and multiple moves since that time. Since I am more of a "dog person", I raised him like a dog. Oliver has met me at the door everyday for decades, sat in my lap at night, and cuddled with me even in my worst moods. My husband and I don't have children but spend a lot of time with our animals (we also have a deaf boxer and a mildly neurotic doberman). So, that is why I have been so quiet on the Spark for the past few days. I miss my friend...
Oliver posing in front of the fireplace
My cat must have loved me a lot to put up with some of these things (bumblebee costume above, sitting in a giant teacup below) I miss him a lot!
Take a good look.
Do you recognize the couple on the left as the same as the couple on the right?
I can honestly say I don't...
It was actually this photo of me last year at our Residency Graduation banquet that made me realize how out of control my life/weight had gotten. I stared at it looking for myself in there somewhere. Then I asked my husband: is that what I look like? His answer was something like: yes, but I love you anyway. I was depressed for a month and then when I saw similar photos at our new resident orientation dinner a few weeks later it was over. I was DONE being the fat girl. Thus began the journey over the past 11 months on the Spark that leads us to the couple on the right. Total differnce in weight ~ 125 lbs. Total difference in attitude: complete. We have become the couple we always wanted to be. We work together in everything and now enjoy new challenges beyond just losing weight for aesthetic purposes. In fact, our new goal this summer is to complete our first triathlon on August 28th.
It is nice to begin to say goodbye to the girl on the left. She was a good person, but she forgot to prioritize herself in the midst of other busy things in life The girl on the right knows exactly who she is and what she wants, and more importantly she knows that hard work and consistency will continue to get her to where she needs to go.
Whoo-hoooo! I am back on track! I have had a million tests, seen specialists and as of today, I am clear to return to all full tilt cardio! I was so excited I decided to run treadmill sprints, followed by a half hour of yoga. It felt so GOOD!! The picture above was taken about 30 minutes after my exercisapalooza, and you can tell how great it felt by the smile on my face.
Now that I am able to kick it up a notch, I am going to attack the 5lbs between me and my 100 lbs off marker.
Look out scale...It is over.
186 is in sight!