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Getting back to basics: 11 Month Reflection

Sunday, June 27, 2010



Today is my 11 month Sparkversary! It is also the first month that I have not lost any weight since starting this journey. 95 lbs in the first 10 months and 0 this month. AAAAaaarrrrrgggghhhHHH! So this month instead of reflecting on what I am doing well, I spent some time thinking about what I need to do to get back on track.

In the beginning I worked very hard to center myself each day on the Spark. I logged in, logged my food and read articles. Over time I spent less time on the Spark because I needed to catch up on life, especially this spring when several difficulties have arisen in my personal life. I stopped making small goals and did not journal as often, there were many things I did not want to journal about so I set it aside for much of the last two months.

Looking back I think it was a few simple things that helped me center myself daily. These are the things that I am going to focus on each day for the next month to see if I can get back on track:

1. Log into Spark daily
2. Review other people's Spark pages for motivation and to remind myself that other people struggle and triumph as well
3. JOURNAL! Focus on one thing I am proud of for that day
4. Make several small goals
5. Reward myself for meeting my goals

That's it actually. I have exercised every day this year, so keeping that part up will be easy. Any help and encouragement from my Sparkbuddies is greatly appreciated. I really want to be proud of my progress 30 days from now!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4DOGNIGHT 6/29/2010 2:45PM

    You look fabulous! Something is working.

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DONNA2238 6/28/2010 10:58AM

    emoticon Those are great goals. I know that coming to Spark makes such a difference to my consistency. Sad thing is, I am SO inconsistent :0). 90 pounds is just AMAZING! You really encouraged me as my goal is to lose 80-90 pounds! One step at a time, right?

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JSTCHLIN 6/28/2010 9:21AM

    You are doing such a great job. I too have stopped Sparking as much as I did in the beginning and I see the negative results because of it. Let's get back on track and lose some more weight together.

Take care and stay healthy
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NEWME0519 6/28/2010 8:23AM

    Be proud of what you have accomplished thus far and not just what happens in the next 30 days!
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IPATRICIA 6/28/2010 6:56AM

    95lbs in 10 months.... emoticonWell you've got two months to lose the 5lbs which will make it 100lbs in a year. emoticon

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DABINEXIAN 6/27/2010 9:43PM

    95 lbs in 10 months! That's amazing. It's not so surprising that you have hit a plateau this month. You are right to look forward and not backward. As your body adjusts, it will become harder to lose weight. Recognizing what made you successful and setting up small goals is a smart way to jump start your weight loss. Just don't get down on yourself. You have accomplished so much and you should be so proud of yourself.

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 6/27/2010 7:59PM

    You look so amazing! I can see your soul smiling and love it! Don't fret about this first month of no weight loss... given your HUGE success to date!

Keep doing what you are doing and you will continue to shine as brightly as you do in that picture! You Rock!

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123BETTERME 6/27/2010 7:16PM

    95 lbs in 10 months is a huge accomplishment!!! We all get in a rut the important thing is that we recognize when we are and get back on track!! Which it seems like you are doing, awesome!! I am sure that the next 30 days will bring sucess : ) You can do it, look at all you have done so far!!!

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MAMMA_MIA1 6/27/2010 7:00PM

    You look fabulous!!! Keep up the good work!

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ANNE7X7 6/27/2010 6:19PM

    Oh and PS: you look fan-freakin'-tastic!!

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ANNE7X7 6/27/2010 6:18PM

    Glad you took some time to regroup and refocus! With the small, achievable goals you've set, you are sure to have a successful month! Congrats on a month of maintaining too!! That right there is an accomplishment!



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LOOZINITNOW 6/27/2010 5:15PM

    You bet that I will be right here cheering you on every step of the way! emoticon

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LEAG0628 6/27/2010 4:39PM

    Wow! 95 lbs is a great accomplishment! You got this... you know you do!

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 6/27/2010 3:39PM

    Even though you're in scrubs, you're glowing and beautiful! Whenever I feel my spark dimming, or need an extra push, I always look to other's pages. Keep fighting the good fight. Next month will is just around the corner and waiting for you to knock it outta the park!

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GRANDMAMAOF3 6/27/2010 2:47PM

    You are doing such a great job. Mine seems to be taking so long that it sometimes gets discouraging, but you and other friends are what keeps me going. I know I can be successful because so many of you are already successful. You have always put great time into SP. You have been and continue to be an inspiration. Thanks for all you do and like my other friend said; pay more attention to the direction and less to the speed.
(I believe that was put there for me.)
Again, thanks for all you do!
Have a great week. emoticon emoticon

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FRENCHTOSD 6/27/2010 2:15PM

    "From now on, try paying attention more to your direction and less to your speed."

That was a quote that struck me from yesterday's Healthy Reflection email.

Hopefully we all can enjoy the ride of losing and not just the outcome. You look fantastic, and I seem to remember a little surgical procedure that may have some impact on your weight loss!

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BBLUNDON 6/27/2010 2:05PM

    you look awesome!

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SWEETNEENI 6/27/2010 1:00PM

    You look beautiful and I am jealous of that upper arm. That is all.

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BARBARAROCKSIT 6/27/2010 12:26PM

    muscle probably caught up with the scale since you've begun your triathlete training.

Now it's onward to the 180's!! 190 can just move out of the way you are bashing on through that barrier!

Keep rockin' the journey Hollynn!

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Cycling in one helluva storm!

Friday, June 25, 2010



The last few days have been hard for me and although I exercised daily, I did it half-heartedly (see prior blog). Today I was scheduled for outdoor cycling as part of my prep for my August 28th triathlon. As I left work I looked at the sky: yup definitely going to rain soon. Usually that means hitting the treadmill and watching old 24 (love Jack Bauer) reruns on tv. But today, I knew I needed to get outside and maybe even break through some barriers. So I said "to heck with it, a little rain never hurt anyone." Fast forward 3 miles onto the trail, the heavens open up and torrential downpour to the point I had to stop a few times because I could not see 2 feet in front of me. I think it was so ridiculous I actually laughed out loud for the first time in several days. And I continued onward...Hard to imagine one year ago I wouldn't venture outside, let alone exercise out there if the weather wasn't perfect. The picture above is me in the last mile of my 16 mile ride when the rain finally let up and all that remains is me, dripping wet and satisfied because I stuck it out. In all fairness, it was a killer workout!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FAITH0405 6/27/2010 10:37AM

    So proud of you!! You are a true inspiration, and I can't wait until I get to the point where I go ahead and exercise regardless of the weather! Thanks for being such an encouragement to all of us!! GO HOLLYNN!!

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IPATRICIA 6/25/2010 6:42PM

    O... I just love the way you just brush past those obstacles. emoticon

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ATROTTIER 6/25/2010 2:08PM

    WOW!! That is an amazing accomplishment and to do it outside of your comfort zone is so cool!!! GREAT JOB!!! =)

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RESA71 6/25/2010 9:51AM

    I am so glad you found something else that you love too. Stay with it and I hope your heart heals.

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ANNE7X7 6/25/2010 8:41AM

    You are such a trooper! Way to break down those barriers and do what you gotta do! I'm so inspired right now!! I will keep you in mind next time I want to go on the treadmill instead of facing the rain outside (after all, I better get used to it!! It might rain on race day emoticon)

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LOOZINITNOW 6/25/2010 8:38AM

    So proud of you! It had to be very therapeutic to get out there and ride after a hard week.

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 6/25/2010 6:10AM

    emoticon You Rock!

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BARBARAROCKSIT 6/25/2010 12:42AM

    emoticon

As wrong as it is .. I'm actually a little bit jealous. Rain and bike rides are two of my favorite things.

You are rockin' this journey!

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Feeling a little sad...

Thursday, June 24, 2010



I lost a good friend this week and I am having a hard time. My cat Oliver, died 2 days ago after being with me for the past 18.5 years. I rescued Oliver from a shelter back in early 1992 when I was a second year college student. I snuck him through years of dorm living and multiple moves since that time. Since I am more of a "dog person", I raised him like a dog. Oliver has met me at the door everyday for decades, sat in my lap at night, and cuddled with me even in my worst moods. My husband and I don't have children but spend a lot of time with our animals (we also have a deaf boxer and a mildly neurotic doberman). So, that is why I have been so quiet on the Spark for the past few days. I miss my friend...



Oliver posing in front of the fireplace



My cat must have loved me a lot to put up with some of these things (bumblebee costume above, sitting in a giant teacup below) I miss him a lot!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETNEENI 6/27/2010 1:03PM

    Losing a pet is the pits but you were so blessed to have each other for 18 years.

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Comment edited on: 6/27/2010 1:03:36 PM

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FAITH0405 6/27/2010 10:33AM

    I am so very sorry about your loss!! He sounds like a great friend, and it looks like you had lots of fun with him. You and your husband will be in our thoughts and prayers! HUGS!

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 6/27/2010 9:20AM

    Sorry for your loss. :(

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ATROTTIER 6/25/2010 2:10PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss - he looks like he was quite a wonderful friend!! Treasure those wonderful memories that you shared with him - thinking of you today!

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LCHADBOURNE 6/25/2010 12:25PM

    I'm so very sorry. Losing a family member is so very hard. He was such a beautiful kitty. I'll be thinking of you and your dear sweet Oliver.

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KARVY09 6/25/2010 9:13AM

    Awww... he lived a good, long and happy life with you. I lost my cat this year too and I know how heartbreaking it can be. Hold on to all the precious memories you guys had together and stay strong.

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ANNE7X7 6/25/2010 8:38AM

    I'm so sorry you lost your pal! Losing an animal is one of the hardest things! They are there with you everyday, through thick and through thin. I feel your pain!! emoticon

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LUNADRAGON 6/25/2010 1:11AM

    I am sorry you lost your special friend. Your photos of your kitty are really beautiful. emoticon

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BARBARAROCKSIT 6/25/2010 12:45AM

    emoticon

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DABINEXIAN 6/25/2010 12:27AM

    I'm so very sorry. I have had to put cats to sleep and even when you know it's the right decision, it's still difficult. Try to find comfort in the fact that you gave this kitty a wonderful loving life and received love in return. Know that we are all here for you and sending you our thoughts.

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GLAMIT 6/24/2010 10:46PM

    Oh honey, I know what you are going through. The loss of a loved one is so terrible, they are our children. What a great life he must have had. You were both lucky to have each other. I love your pictures, he is beautiful. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I am here if you need an ear or just need a hug. God bless your Oliver.
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WEN@TBAY 6/24/2010 10:41PM

    So sorry about Oliver's passing. What a wonderful and beautiful friendship you shared. Sending prayers your way for comfort during this time of grief.

Hugs,

Wendie

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HARMONYBLUE 6/24/2010 9:56PM

    Awe, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have never seen a cat dressed up as a bumblebee or sitting contently in a teacup, so it is quite evident that he loved you LOTS and also that he was very loved. It's wonderful that he was rescued into such a great long life!

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SGKAYLOR 6/24/2010 9:56PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, my animals are my children & losing them would be like losing a child. Just remember all the good times you had with Oliver emoticon

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GRAMMIE1959 6/24/2010 9:14PM

    I am sorry for your loss
I know you will find comfort here and can memorialize your lives together in the most wonderful community of others who have been in your shoes. the stories will make you laugh and some will make you cry. Take your time there. don't try to take it all in at once. I spent many months visiting the site after my Precious dog Kayla died.



http://www.rainbowbridg
e.com/



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BRENDY_28 6/24/2010 8:49PM

    emoticon

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SGRAY478 6/24/2010 7:50PM

    So sad to hear about Oliver. I am a huge animal lover and I take the loss of my pets really hard too. He was certainly cute!

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GETFIT2LIVE 6/24/2010 7:38PM

    What a sweet, beautiful boy; i am so sorry. Our pets fill a very special place in our hearts and leave a void when we say goodbye. What a gift to be able to rescue him and have him so many years! May you find comfort in your memories, your husband, and your other furry friends.

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KITHKINCAID 6/24/2010 7:16PM

    What a sweet boy. I'm so sorry for your loss. Happy to hear he had a good long life with you, though it's never easy to see them go.

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MRS.CARLY 6/24/2010 7:01PM

    I'm so sorry to hear that! I love love love my doggies so much...pets are so wonderful.....they help us through some of the hard times that humans sometimes can't help us get through. My dog is 9 now and she has been through A LOT of things in my life...I don't know how I would have gone through them without her.

So sorry to hear about your kitty emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 6/24/2010 6:38PM

    I am so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. I can tell by your pictures that he was a very special kitty. emoticon

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KELLBELL51677 6/24/2010 6:30PM

    Awe, so sorry about your loss. I too have a cat (male and female) I know crazy but this cat is the best thing in the world to me and I dread the day he/she passes. I can tell you really loved your cat. Good luck to you my prayers go out to you. God Bless!!


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HPYGRL09 6/24/2010 6:04PM

    Sorry for your loss. It's obvious Oliver was loved and lived a wonderful life. Till you meet again......

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STEELMAGNOLIA10 6/24/2010 5:59PM

    I'm sorry for your loss. I had my kitty killed by a dog in our front yard while she was sunbathing. It was horrible. I feel your pain and you know your baby's spirit lives in your heart. emoticon

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KERANCE 6/24/2010 5:54PM

    I'm sorry for the pain you must be in, our pets are like our children.

Oliver was very beautiful, I love the photos, they're too cute!
Keep you chin up!
xXx

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TADTURC 6/24/2010 5:49PM

    sorry to hear about your loss. Oliver was beautiful.

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IPATRICIA 6/24/2010 5:47PM

    I am so sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful cat after all those years. Oliver, what a lovely name. Beautiful photos.
Still he lived a great life, God bless him. emoticon

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CAPECODLIGHT 6/24/2010 5:27PM

    Sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved cat, Oliver. He was a beautiful tuxedo cat - one of my favorite types of cat. Hug your pooches tight - that will help.

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AUNTIELES53 6/24/2010 5:16PM

    sorry to hear about your loss

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FINDING_JESS 6/24/2010 5:14PM

    So sorry for your loss, what a long wonderful life he had though. Memories are the best things a pet can leave us with. Take your time to grieve, in time you will smile about the memories rather then cry. Sorry for your loss.

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JBMT08 6/24/2010 5:14PM

    Aww, I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you take this time to focus on all of the good times you had with your little darling! emoticon

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KEEPGOING87 6/24/2010 5:13PM

    emoticon emoticonso sorry about your loss~

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GETYOURSHINEON 6/24/2010 5:05PM

    I am so sorry to hear that, pets literally become your family members and you grieve just the same as you would a human being. I wish you lots of comfort, and remember there is a kitty heaven :) emoticon

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SHERYLDS 6/24/2010 5:00PM

    You gave him a wonderful love filled life. We should all be so lucky emoticon

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MINENA1 6/24/2010 4:59PM

    Awww! So sorry about your loss. emoticon emoticon

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What a difference a year makes!

Monday, June 21, 2010



Take a good look.
Do you recognize the couple on the left as the same as the couple on the right?
I can honestly say I don't...

It was actually this photo of me last year at our Residency Graduation banquet that made me realize how out of control my life/weight had gotten. I stared at it looking for myself in there somewhere. Then I asked my husband: is that what I look like? His answer was something like: yes, but I love you anyway. I was depressed for a month and then when I saw similar photos at our new resident orientation dinner a few weeks later it was over. I was DONE being the fat girl. Thus began the journey over the past 11 months on the Spark that leads us to the couple on the right. Total differnce in weight ~ 125 lbs. Total difference in attitude: complete. We have become the couple we always wanted to be. We work together in everything and now enjoy new challenges beyond just losing weight for aesthetic purposes. In fact, our new goal this summer is to complete our first triathlon on August 28th.

It is nice to begin to say goodbye to the girl on the left. She was a good person, but she forgot to prioritize herself in the midst of other busy things in life The girl on the right knows exactly who she is and what she wants, and more importantly she knows that hard work and consistency will continue to get her to where she needs to go.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITTYKITTEMMING 6/23/2010 11:55PM

    You look great. emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 6/21/2010 9:41PM

  emoticon transformation, you look wonderful. emoticon and continued success.

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BARBARAROCKSIT 6/21/2010 6:59PM

    emoticon

Congrats on finding your athletic side and for moving beyond weight loss - even though that part rocks too!



emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EPIPHANYANGEL 6/21/2010 6:49PM

    wow, congratulations, you look amazing. emoticon emoticon

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 6/21/2010 4:35PM

    You look absolutely gorgeous girl!!!

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KARVY09 6/21/2010 3:32PM

    You look great!!! Well done to both of you!

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KITHKINCAID 6/21/2010 3:29PM

    Congratulations! You guys look fantastic and I'm sure you feel it too.

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BBLUNDON 6/21/2010 2:09PM

    I totally get it .. if you look at one of my blogs I did the same thing and it was my anniversary pictures last may that got me thinking. I started my journey last August in earnest and can't wait to see what happens in the next month !!!

My ONE year recommitted anniversary is Aug 13 so we'll see where we are then

awesome pics

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RACHELLY0724 6/21/2010 2:08PM

    Congratulations on finding you!!!

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MICKEYMAX 6/21/2010 12:46PM

    You look a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! Wow! Love your story and your attitude!

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ATROTTIER 6/21/2010 12:29PM

    Your story is incredible!!! Great JOB!! =)

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 6/21/2010 11:33AM

    Good looking couple. Your confidence is showing through. I'm happy for you & hubby!

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KYMMC3 6/21/2010 11:13AM

    Wow, you look amazing. I am glad to hear what an experience it's been for you both! Good luck with the trialthon.

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 6/21/2010 11:07AM

    Wow! You both look so vibrant!

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HIPPICHICK1 6/21/2010 10:31AM

    You both lost weight, no? Looking good....no. Looking emoticon

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LCHADBOURNE 6/21/2010 10:07AM

    Amazing! You look so simply amazingly beautiful and happy and radiant! :D Congratulations on all your hard work!

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LAYLARENEE84 6/21/2010 9:56AM

    I'm so happy for your weightloss, but I'm more happy about the fact that you two have become stronger as a couple! That's a wonderful thing. I'm sure you know this already, but if for any reason you didn't, it's absolutely wonderful!

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LOOZINITNOW 6/21/2010 9:56AM

    You inspire me beyond words! What a beautiful, happy looking couple!


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JBMT08 6/21/2010 9:04AM

    This is an awesome blog post! I am glad that you took the time to look at yourself physically and mentally, make the comparison, and charge forward! What a way to cap off our year in August - TRIATHALON!!!!! WOOHOO!!

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HARMONYBLUE 6/21/2010 8:38AM

    Your transformation has been amazing/inspiring. I can't wait to hear all about your triathlon. It is actually the same day as my first 5K.

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BRENDY_28 6/21/2010 7:22AM

    congratulations. you have done so much progress. you are an inspiration to me :)

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SALUBRE 6/21/2010 6:53AM

    You look INCREDIBLE!
Well done!

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ANNE7X7 6/21/2010 6:50AM

    Wow! What you have accomplished is amazing! I think you look beautiful in pic1, but you look absolutely radiant in pic2! You are such an inspiration!

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JSTCHLIN 6/21/2010 6:42AM

    Congratulations on your new life. You both look great. Good luck in your triathlon as well.

Take care and stay healthy
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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 6/21/2010 5:18AM

    emoticon on your emoticon achievements! You look positively Radiant!!

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TGREERM 6/21/2010 4:55AM

    Congratulations! You look amazing!

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MOMORAMA 6/21/2010 4:06AM

    Thanks for taking the time to write this blog - you guys are completely inspiring :)

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BABYBEARY 6/21/2010 3:51AM

    You both look amazing. Cheers to your effort. Enjoy the fruit of your labour. =)

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5...4....3....2....1 Countdown to 100 lbs

Friday, June 11, 2010



Whoo-hoooo! I am back on track! I have had a million tests, seen specialists and as of today, I am clear to return to all full tilt cardio! I was so excited I decided to run treadmill sprints, followed by a half hour of yoga. It felt so GOOD!! The picture above was taken about 30 minutes after my exercisapalooza, and you can tell how great it felt by the smile on my face.

Now that I am able to kick it up a notch, I am going to attack the 5lbs between me and my 100 lbs off marker.

Look out scale...It is over.
5...4...3...2...1
186 is in sight!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWANGEL99 6/18/2010 2:39PM

    Your journey & obvious determination is very INSPIRING! emoticon on your loss so far... looks like 100 loss will be along very soon emoticon

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SMOKINGUN 6/16/2010 7:40PM

    You indeed look beautiful. Keep up the good work. ou deservew all the positive feedback as you actually do earn it. None of this has been easy but indeed it agrees with you.
I hear there is an art festival this weekend. Might be fun to walk around. used to enjoy Artfare on the Green in WI. a hundred years ago.

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HARMONYBLUE 6/12/2010 11:02PM

    I would just say that you look fantastic (which of course you do), but seriously what kind of superwoman telephone booth quick change did you pull off to look so put together 30 minutes after a workout? 100 pounds lost, here you come!

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CAROLX914 6/12/2010 2:17PM

    That is awesome!

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GETTINHEALTHY87 6/12/2010 12:22PM

    You look amazing

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 6/12/2010 11:50AM

    Beautiful pictures girlfriend! That smile looks wonderful!

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KITTYKITTEMMING 6/11/2010 8:54PM

    You go, girl!!

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FRENCHTOSD 6/11/2010 8:49PM

    emoticon

What a fantastic day for you.

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COACHDNUKE 6/11/2010 3:56PM

    RAWKSTARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

GO GO GO GO GO

ENJOY THE RIDE
Dennis
inspiredtorun.tsf
l.com

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MAGNORK517 6/11/2010 1:38PM

    You inspire me more than you know! Knowing that you've been where I am and have had such success is such inspiration. Thank you! And I look forward to celebrating your 100 pounds lost with you!

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MAMMA_MIA1 6/11/2010 12:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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13-1GIRL 6/11/2010 12:10PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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APATRICIAO521 6/11/2010 12:02PM

    Congrats!!! keep it up!!!! You will reach that 100 pounds lost in no time!

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SPARKGIRL32 6/11/2010 11:55AM

    Awesome job!!

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LETMEBME 6/11/2010 11:52AM

    AWESOME! What a great pic!

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ANALYZETHIS1 6/11/2010 10:10AM

    I'm so happy for you. You look great!

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SUZEQ09 6/11/2010 9:19AM

    Good luck and you are looking fabo!!!

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LOOZINITNOW 6/11/2010 8:48AM

    I am awe struck! You look so beautiful! Love the top! You have been a constant source of inspiration to me and because of you, one day, I am going to see that 100lb mark too!

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ANNE7X7 6/11/2010 8:41AM

    My God, Girl!! You look AMAZING! Seriously, you are G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S and you look so slim!

You will be at that 100 pound marker in no time!! Rock it!!

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KARVY09 6/11/2010 8:35AM

    You are looking wonderful! I have 2 lbs to go til 100 lost and 4 lbs til 186, so we're in the same ballpark. Let's keep each other motivated and rocking to hit our goals!!!

Have a great weekend!

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HIPPICHICK1 6/11/2010 8:06AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEWME0519 6/11/2010 7:49AM

    You look amazing!

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JBMT08 6/11/2010 7:34AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LAURELSPARK 6/11/2010 7:31AM

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Keep up the good work!

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BARBARAROCKSIT 6/11/2010 7:13AM

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Glad you have the no stops ahead .. go go go sign!

We know you can do so let's start dancing now to celebrate!

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SOOTHINGGLOW 6/11/2010 6:18AM

    You look beautiful! emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 6/11/2010 5:09AM

    emoticon emoticon Cheering you all the way! You look amazing in your pictures. Your smile radiates the health that you are in NOW!! emoticon

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PENGUITO 6/11/2010 12:33AM

    Whoo hoo! Almost there! Way to go on the sprints!

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DABINEXIAN 6/11/2010 12:28AM

    You can do it! Keep up the great work and you will reach your goal before you know it.

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KATYBUG48 6/11/2010 12:23AM

  Good for you. One day at a time.

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