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Ashamed

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I don't have much to say other than I'm ashamed of how out of control I got this month. I'm determined to get back on track, but it's been a rough couple of weeks. I let my peers influence my eating habits and let my emotions control my better sense.

On a positive note, I'm definitely going back down in weight and hope to be back where I last left off soon. Also, here's a picture of me in one of my LARP costumes. This corset was SO hard to lace up just a few months ago and now it almost closes all the way. It inspires me to keep going.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/3/2014 6:28PM

    Love the outfit.

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RITEEBEE 3/27/2014 8:33PM

    We all have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, even good months and bad months. Don't be ashamed or discouraged! Just get back at what you were doing!! You look great!

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WHOVIAN3 3/26/2014 8:29PM

    i was thinking of going to a SCA event,you ever go to one? love the outfit!

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BEEANDHAM 3/26/2014 2:24PM

    It's a lifestyle change and that means falling off the wagon sometimes, As long as you run to catch up with it and jump back on, no harm. :) emoticon

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WOUBBIE 3/26/2014 2:06PM

    You are Mata Hari grade seductive!

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Make sure that what you're doing to lose the weight initially involves minimal deprivation. It's fine to have to think and plan about what you can and can't eat, but as soon as you have to use willpower to accomplish it you set yourself up.

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JESVARNER 3/26/2014 12:41PM

    That outfit is amazing & you look great in it!
Don't be ashamed, you acknowledged the problem & you're making strides to fix it, that's what counts!

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Complex Carbs

Monday, March 17, 2014

I cut them out to make my life simpler.



Just made me giggle this morning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/3/2014 6:27PM

    Love it.

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CLPURNELL 3/19/2014 4:45PM

    emoticon

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ONESPOTLEFT 3/18/2014 7:09PM

    interesting

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RUSSELL_40 3/18/2014 4:58AM

    emoticon .... " I'm red! ". Such a simple carb.

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NAYPOOIE 3/17/2014 4:28PM

    emoticon

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LAURAOLOGY 3/17/2014 11:57AM

    That's pretty funny!

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BOB5148 3/17/2014 11:28AM

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DELIA38961 3/17/2014 11:22AM

    emoticon

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SKATER787 3/17/2014 10:55AM

    emoticon

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JESVARNER 3/17/2014 10:47AM

    Cute! Happy St. Patty's Day! :-)
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WOUBBIE 3/17/2014 10:41AM

    LOL! I just pictured a bowl of pasta pondering "Why is there something rather than nothing?"

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Willpower Workout

Friday, March 14, 2014

I'm needing to do a few willpower pushups before the weekend. I have a feeling that this is gonna be a tough one!



I'm still recovering from my fall off the wagon earlier this week. I have to keep reminding myself that it was ONLY THIS WEEK that I made the mistake so I can't expect to turn things around right away. I need to be realistic about my expectations, but I'm so very happy to be back in the swing of things. I'm even *almost* back to where I was weight wise before the wagon incident. I'm not, however, back where I was mentally.

My willpower before was tough as iron and now I'm working to patch it back up and get it back to where it was, but wow is it slow going. I not only need to work on my willpower, but I think my confidence was shot and I need to work on that again too. The real challenge will be this weekend.

Saturday I'm going to a Disney themed drinking party. A friend found cocktails designed from Disney characters and got the idea to host a themed party. I'll need to overcome two major challenges:

1.) Don't drink. I don't need to and it really just lowers my inhibitions so that I'm more likely to give into my second challenge.
2.) Don't eat junk/unhealthy snack food. The real challenge here is that the party is starting relatively early (5 PM) so I'll need to eat dinner before we get there to fill up and then make sure to bring healthy snacks along with me.

Hopefully planning ahead by bringing my own drinks, snacks and eating a satisfying dinner before we get there will help me stay on track.

Are you struggling right now? What are your struggles? How do you plan to overcome them?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/3/2014 6:27PM

    My struggle is eating healthy and not overeating. My plan is to track before I eat and to track everything I eat so I can see the truth no more hiding what I'm eating.

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CLPURNELL 3/20/2014 10:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WHOVIAN3 3/19/2014 11:38AM

    I can relate! the weekends have killed my progress! But I have come a long way this week. I am determined to not go over board this weekend. Good luck at your party,it is hard to go around people drinking and not drink! But you can do it!

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WOUBBIE 3/15/2014 12:12PM

    You can't live on willpower-based habits for very long, and that's the key word: "habit". The positive changes you make have to be integrated into your daily life and the things that are bad for you have to one-by-one become those things that "I used to do..."

You also can't have a battle of wills with physiology and organic chemistry and win. If you try to fuel your body poorly it will ALWAYS find a way to get what it wants - even when that fuel is also poor. If you are low carb and go off the wagon the carb addiction will always return and you'll just need to detox all over again. :(

You're doing the right thing, though: planning and evaluating and regrouping! Be the one who stays sober enough to laugh and eyeroll at all the others!!

Comment edited on: 3/15/2014 12:13:21 PM

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BEEANDHAM 3/14/2014 3:59PM

    This is seriously me too right now. And I'm so close to my goal which is even more frustrating. Trying to reset today but all the wedding craziness is making it hard!!

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JESVARNER 3/14/2014 2:54PM

    It can be so tough to go to a party and be the only one not drinking and not eating goodies too! You have a game plan in place & plenty of motivation! You can do it! Fruits & veggies are your friends! :-)

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PROPMAN1 3/14/2014 1:57PM

  My struggle is to lose at least 10 lbs. The major struggle is that the fat doesn't want to go. My plan is to keep trying.

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Never giving up: Falling off the wagon.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Yesterday was the first day since I've started this journey (this year) that I've really fallen off the wagon.



I've broken a promise to myself that I would never lose control like that, but I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm determined to learn from the experience and move on. I don't want to gain the weight back after all of that hard work and sacrifice. So let's go over what went wrong, shall we?

Breakfast: I had a doughnut. It was NOT worth it. All of that anticipation that was built up in my head about having a doughnut after so long was so entirely wrong. It was too sugary, near stale, and not filling at all.

Snack: Peanut butter pretzels. They were partially worth it. Around half a bag they became too rich for me and stopped being satisfying, but I continued to eat them anyway. Why? Because that voice in my head said that I was going to be back on track tomorrow so I shouldn't waste perfectly good snack food I continued to eat beyond need and satisfaction. I need to learn that it's better to "waste" food than waste my weight loss progress. I wish I had seen that before, but I think it's a very valuable lesson learned.

Lunch: Small salad. Great choice and no regrets. Lunch is almost a no brainier for me at this point and I always feel satisfied and full. It's amazing to me that I look forward to my lunch salads. That would have NEVER happened a year ago!

Dinner: Thai food - chicken pad see ew. No regrets. I had planned to eat this, but at dinner we skipped an appetizer and didn't feel bloated and stuffed at the end of the meal. I felt satisfied, but today I'm not dying to have more Thai food. It was a nice splurge that I would take again in a couple of months. It was nice to see that I had some self control here and I was fully prepared to box away or leave leftovers when I got full, but it didn't happen.

Desert: Sweet Frog, frozen yogurt. I mostly regret this one because of my poor choices from the morning. This was also ridiculously sweet and because the cups are pretty big I ended up getting more than I needed and ate beyond satisfaction. I think if I stick to one flavor and one topping next time I would be much better off. Good treat, but I need to learn how to portion out better for next time (if/when there is a next time).

So today I'm reaffirming my promise to myself that I will not give into temptation. I will not let my mistakes yesterday determine my actions today (ie. poor choices) and I will only eat until satisfied. That is the biggest lesson I learned from yesterday.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/3/2014 6:24PM

    We can do it.

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BEEANDHAM 3/11/2014 3:14PM

    We must be in sync somehow because that was me Sat afternoon-Monday afternoon. I felt awful but I know it's different now because I'm aware like you that the cravings I build up in my mind aren't always worth it and I will just pick myself up and move on. Great post. You should be very proud of yourself. :)

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JESVARNER 3/11/2014 12:08PM

    Sometimes it takes a binge of some sort to make us realize that it's not worth it. I did the same thing last week when I decided that a 4-cheese chicken alfredo dish was a good idea. I felt so bloated and gross afterwards, and I only ate half of it! I think these experiences just make it easier to resist the next time that temptation is in front of you!
You've learned a lesson, you're back on the wagon, and good to press forward towards your goals!

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Mind over matter: the scale

Friday, March 07, 2014

This week has been a mental battle between myself and the scale. My weight has fluctuated so much this week it's been driving me batty.



Let me preface this by saying that I don't blame the scale at all. Obviously the problem lies with my diet, but I haven't quite figured out where. I had a cheat meal on Monday which of course would affect a few days early in the week. I think since then my body has been trying to stabilize itself. I also haven't been drinking enough water and I think it's nearing that "time". Lots of possible factors that I need to think about, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

The upside is that besides feeling bloated and frustrated, I am still insanely happy about my progress thus far. My clothes are fitting better, Kung Fu has been much more enjoyable, and I'm not as afraid to look in the mirror anymore! I just need to step back and not focus on the scale so much right now until I get a handle on what is going on!

I promised my friend that we would have a celebratory Thai food night next week so I'm anxious about that because while I LOVE thai food, it's definitely not on "the plan" and I've already been having issues with the scale this week but I can't let her down. I'll just have to eat accordingly before dinner and hope for the best and vow to myself that I won't look at the scale for a week afterwards.

How have you all been doing? Have you had any victories or setbacks? I wanna hear!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 3/10/2014 8:30PM

    Well so far this year has been up and down mostly down. But I haven't gained as much since I kind of been taking charge again but I put on fourteen pounds. But we can do this.

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RAINBOW_BRIT 3/7/2014 3:17PM

    Hey, great to hear you're having success low carbing. The scales, ah, the scales. Your best friend or your worst enemy. I've put mine away because I've been fluctuating around my goal, and so many times I've been a tiny bit heavier than I expected, and have gone off on a binge and had to start all over again. So frustrating. So this time I am measuring my success by how I feel and how my clothes fit. I may never know how much I weigh, but I don't care if I can get into a little dress. I'm freeeee!

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WOUBBIE 3/7/2014 1:28PM

    Your weight is simply not a single number. Ever. It's the conglomerate of water you drank, water you retained (or flushed out), food you just ate, food you ate 14 hours ago, etc., etc., etc. Your weight is ALWAYS a range, not a number.

If you must weigh daily, one method to help you keep your sanity is to weigh daily, but average weekly. That smooths out some of the roller coaster. Add up 7 days of scale numbers and divide by 7. Add 2 pounds to that and subtract 2 pounds from that and there's your 4-pound current range. It's STILL gratifying to see your range go down, but the mirror and the pants are even more gratifying!

There should be plenty of yummy Thai food you can eat. Here are some ideas:

http://www.myfitnessp
al.com/topics/show/607956-thai-
food-help-please-low-carb

Comment edited on: 3/7/2014 1:29:05 PM

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PENNYSAVER2 3/7/2014 11:10AM

    Stay consistent with eating better and exercising. Don't let the scale drive you crazy.
I used to weigh weekly, but that became an issue to me. So, I record my weight monthly. I just continue to eat closely to my plan as possible and keep exercising.
When you get off your plan, just get back on it at the next meal. Best wishes.
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BOB5148 3/7/2014 10:54AM

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TRAVELGO 3/7/2014 10:48AM

  I now usually weigh every day just to keep myself in line but I do get a little down on myself if there's no change or I gain. I think I'll try just twice a week to see if that works. I sure don't want to see a creep upward which is what used to happen if I didn't keep a close eye on things.

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JANETV99 3/7/2014 10:46AM

    It would be better if you only stepped on the scale once a week since weight continuously changes. It is putting too much pressure on you. Might I suggest "celebrating" your success with a night out at the movies instead of dinner?

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JESVARNER 3/7/2014 10:42AM

    I think taking a break from looking at the scale is a great idea! I really need to get out of the habit of stepping on it every single day. A once a week weigh-in should be sufficient! I've been hovering right around the same area, but I've just started a new exercise routine, and it's going to build muscle as well, so I know that will hinder weight loss. I need to do better about eating fruits & veggies more! I'm glad that you're seeing improvements in areas other than on the scale! In the long run, those are the changes that will make the most difference, even though we have a tendency to focus on that foolish number!

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