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and I'm back

Friday, September 17, 2010

I have been terrible about sparking lately. I just started graduate school and with all the craziness associated with that I just haven't had time to spark. But while I haven't been tracking my food, I have been mentally watching what I eat and trying to add more exercise in everyday. I've been biking to school, taking the stairs, and skipping dinner if I'm not hungry.

I've been really trying to listen to my body and take cues that way and it has been amazing to see how my eating habits change. I'm not always very good at it. (sometimes my body tells me one piece of pizza is enough but I certainly don't listen to that emoticon )

I thought that I wasn't making any progress. But this morning on a whim I pulled out a pair of capris that a month ago were too tight and pulled them on. Then I rechecked the size tag.... size 12. What!!!! I haven't fit a size 12 in a year. They fit perfectly- not even a little bit too tight. I will definitely be wearing these capris all week...

Anyone else having success with trying to listen to their body cues when it comes to eating instead of just counting calories?

  
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ISHIIGIRL 9/17/2010 12:05PM

    Glad that is working for you. Great job!

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When she was good she was very very good but when she was bad she was horrid...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

So I fell off the wagon as it were last week. It was disappointing to say the least. I got sick and exercise kinda went out the window and then eating followed closely thereafter. I don't know why those two things are so intertwined but if I am not exercising I tend to not eat well either.
But by not eat well I really mean eat horribly. I seem to only do extremes. I am either eating healthy and making good choices or I am making really really bad choices. Binge eating style choices (ie- and I am ashamed to admit this- whole frozen pizzas for dinner plus ice cream, chocolate and cheese bread style choices). I don't know why I do it. It doesn't make me feel good. I wake up feeling gross, guilty and out of control which sets me up for another day of bad choices. Its a vicious cycle.
Sparkpeople has helped me to limit these sort of binges but they still happen and they leave me depressed and not progressing in my weight loss.
The worst thing is that as I am about to make the choice I think- "this is stupid and you will regret it" and then I go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't really know how to stop these from happening.
Any suggestions?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISHIIGIRL 6/15/2010 1:49PM

    I think you need to dig deep and ask yourself why you are doing it. Why do you self sabotage? There are some articles on spark that you can look at to help identify the feelings associated with this. As I lost more and more weight old memories would surface for me. It was like peeling an onion. As the layers came off and I was confronted by old memories and the feelings they involked I had to face those feelings. Once I faced those feelings the weight would also come off. You have to stop the behavior and the best way to do that is to determine why you are doing it. Journaling is a big help. Join some sparkteams to help you get in touch with those feelings.
We all go through this. i think it is part of the process. Hang in there. I think this website is awesome and you will find the answers you need if you search around. Hope some of this helps. Are you doing any of the fast track goals on the start page? They can help keep you centered. Make some goals that are easy to reach and aren't going to derail your efforts. You are worth it! I know you can do it!

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Discipline

Monday, May 24, 2010

I recently read a book where the main character expressed her appreciation for her early training in discipline allowing her to accomplish other things later in life. This has led me to think a lot about discipline lately (especially after a weekend when my discipline in eating kinda went out the window).
Discipline is something I struggle with. It is hard to make myself do things that are uncomfortable or unpleasant no matter how good you know they are for you. Its easy for me to tell myself "I deserve a break" or "One cookie wont hurt me." But that attitude gets me in trouble because it breaks my discipline. Its true that one cookie wont hurt me but that one cookie leads to 6 more cookies and that does hurt. For some reason I seem to be an all or nothing kind. I either eat well and exercise well or I don't at all. I don't seem to do moderation well. This leads to a lot of up and down swings in weight loss and is very frustrating.
But back to discipline. I have noticed that if I can discipline certain parts of my life I do better in others. For instance if I wake up early and exercise first thing my day goes much more smoothly. I eat better, I feel better, and I get more things done during the day. Contrast this with days when I hit snooze for an hour or two. Don't exercise until 11 am and then end up eating whatever I want that day. The simply act of starting my day off in a disciplined manner seems to help me keep that attitude throughout the day. So from now on wake up time is 6:30! We'll see if it helps me be less of a slacker.

  
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GRANDMABABA 5/24/2010 5:43PM

    Discipline is an issue for me as well. I, too, sometimes think one cookie, cracker, chip, etc. is o.k. and then go on with more and more. It's helped me to realize one slip up doesn't have to ruin my whole day. I get back on track until the next slip up. I don't think I'll ever be rid of food addiction, but I do make better choices these days about what I end up bingeing on. Most often it has some nutritional benefit somewhere. Good luck. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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FAIRVIEWBONNIE 5/24/2010 2:26PM

    Sounds to me like you are doing just fine. We all have issues to work through to change our behavior. I have to keep thinking about "healthy eating." I try to remember that I do not want to eat the sugar stuff to makes my appetite soar. I am in much better control of making the right choices during difficult times when my hunger is under control. Good luck with your journey.









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Fear and running

Saturday, May 15, 2010

This morning was my first 5 mile run in my half marathon training. As my alarm went off at 7 I proceeded to hit snooze for an hour and half; each five minutes buying me time in which I didn't have to go hit the trail. My anxiety about running that far kept growing with each alarm. My fears did have some basis. Last time I tried to run this far (about 4 years ago) I was a limping, blistered, tendinitis pained mess by the end. Reluctantly I managed to get myself out the door by 9 and off I went.
As I was running along thinking about other things to ignore the fact that I was doing this to myself I suddenly realized that I was almost done. Not only was I almost done but I was running fast. I felt like a machine running along- not tired, not winded, no blistering, tendonitis, or limping. I finished a full 10 minutes faster than I had anticipated and felt great!
This whole thing got me thinking about others things that we feel scared of (ie- losing weight, school, new jobs, trying something totally new etc). The fear is almost always worse than the actual event. Sometimes we just need to put on our shoes, get out the door and get going. In the process you might actually find yourself excelling at the very thing that frightened you.
Sometimes weight loss is a frightening experience. We all want it so badly but are afraid of failing in the process. For me at least each time I gain or don't lose at much as I think I should I feel like I did when trying to run those 5 miles 4 years ago- beat up and disappointed. But just because we have a set back once doesn't mean that it will happen again and that we should just stop trying to lose weight altogether. We need to just get up and keep going. Perhaps the next time we will be weight loss machines. Perhaps weight loss is like trying to train for a half marathon. We need to use our weight loss plan just like a training schedule. We just need to trust the training schedule and keep going and we will be amazed at where we find ourselves at the end.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ON2VICTORY 5/17/2010 11:22PM

    nice job... "We all want it so badly but are afraid of failing in the process." I have found in my experience that you cannot succeed until you are willing to fail. There is alot of truth to that if you think about it. most times we cant stretch to out potential because we are afraid someone will see us walk the last lap, trip on the jump rope, get off the bike and walk up the last hill and so on....... once you accept failure as a part of your ultimate success, you will never lose.

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ISHIIGIRL 5/17/2010 1:02PM

    Good job! You will be doing that half before you know it! Wat to go!

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TO_BE_FIT 5/15/2010 7:39PM

    Congratulations on your 5 miles run, great job!!! This post sure makes alot of sense, thank you. I am myself just starting to jog, a walk jog and am very scared that I won't be able to ever be able to jog even 5 minutes. This blog puts it in a different light, Thank you!

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Healthy Habits Week 2 and a bad weekend

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

This week I am going to be focusing on measuring my food. I am pretty good about eating good things but I'm not sure if I am eating the correct portions. I use to measure my food religiously but have slacked off in the last couple of year. I use the eyeballing estimates but I think it is a good idea to go back to measuring for a week or so just to reset portion sizes. (they tend to get bigger I think.)
In other news. I had a rough weekend food wise. I had a personal crisis on friday and I didn't deal with it well. Instead I turned to food and basically ate whatever I wanted all weekend long to deal with the depression. I felt horrible but I kept eating anyway. I would eat until I was sick and then as soon as I felt better I would eat again. (gross I know). I don't know why I do that. Apparently it is my coping mechanism when things go wrong in my life. Any ideas on how to avoid a food bender when you are down?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISHIIGIRL 4/6/2010 4:50PM

    Sorry to hear about your rough weekend. That is one of the hardest things to overcome, emotional eating. You can't stop eating but recognizing what you are doing is part of getting it under control.
Try to stay out of the kitchen and get out of the house and away from the food. I know it didn't help with the crappy weather. Saturday wasn't bad but Sunday was terrible. You need to find something else to sooth with and not food. Make a point to get a massage or have your nails done. I like to go over to BonLosee Academy ( Marinelo now) and have my nails done or get a deep condition. It isn't too expensive and I feel really pampered. Sometimes shopping helps as long as you aren't replacing one addiction with another. Just getting out of your environment is sometimes enough.
Hope things get better for you soon! Paige

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