Did I Miss a Class?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Is it just me, or does it seem that men go out of their way to misunderstand women? AWWWWWW It makes me crazy to see how a guy absolutely insists on misunderstanding everything to a ridiculous extreme! To make it worse, he tells others and it makes me look like a sleaze, or an idiot or something. How can one person be so far out of reality? Seems I missed a class somewhere on how to relate to men. Of all the crap I've been through with this guy, he still insists on being wrong about me. Why is it so important to him that he sees things wrong? And to think I still have feelings for him... maybe I am an idiot... for a whole different reason. Truth is... I see a little boy inside him that needs love, and I would so very much like to be the one to give it to him, but in his eyes, not only am I ugly, but I'm not even human; and certainly not worth the energy it would take for him to be himself and stop working so hard to try to make others believe he isn't... or maybe it's himself he's trying to convince. Either way I pray for him every day...and I always will.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSDAVIS09 1/17/2011 5:02PM

I think this guy is absolutely not worth losing any sleep over, Carley! Hang in there and it will get better :) Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLINGDREAMS 11/19/2010 3:39AM

Sorry for my late posting, I have been away for a bit. We are all on different journeys, learning different things at different paces. So in other words, as much as you would like to help him "see the light", he will not see it and perhaps he may never will. However you know the way that you want to be treated, and it means that you are willing to say goodbye to someone who is not willing to be on the same page as you are. You know that you are worthy, and you are wonderful inside out, and no one is perfect, so its ok we all have our flaws but you simply cannot be hand in hand with someone who is so FAR OFF the place you come from. One of the hardest things in life, is to disconnect from our emotions and say goodbye to someone we hoped to be a certain way, or hope that things can be different. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for someone to change (a good example is my sister who is in a destructive relationship) and it has already been 8 years and still there is NO change in him. The only real problem is that she is dealing with the abuse, so I understand how difficult it can be to disconnect your own emotions from someone you care deeply about. I read the book " The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it really helps you to understand that people are really operating from their own place, and there is just SO MUCH MORE that you can get from this book. I have heard it on Audible several times, and I always "get it " more as I listen to it more. Mr. Ruiz does not try to impose any of his thought patterns on you, but you can see for yourself how life is so very different when you expand your thought patterns and see a lot more concerning yourself and others. He has another great book about love, which I recommend as well. I usually don't like to give "advice" to anyone, because I think that your path is very much your own, and you will learn things on your own pace, and from our hardships, we learn and grow, but if my words mean anything today, it just means exploring more and reading more materials can be very enlightening if you open yourself to much more ;) Hope you are doing well, and sorry for my long post, but I really wanted to share some thoughts with you today. Report Inappropriate Comment

ANSING 10/25/2010 6:13PM

Carley, this guy sounds like a real loser. If he can't show you the respect you deserve, pray for him and move on. When the time is right, you'll find the RIGHT guy, the one that will treat you with love AND respect. Hugs! Report Inappropriate Comment

SERENEMOM71 10/25/2010 12:02AM

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harms you, plans to give you hope and a guture. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile..." I truly believe that God has the best, the most perfect gentleman picked out for you! Just trust the Lord and seek this man by placing yourself in different Bible studies, charity events, any thing else that God leads you to participate in so that you can meet this man of God that God has picked out for you! He will treat you like a queen and you will be best friends. I will hold this belief for you! until you can believe it for yourself!!! I know that this is true for you as I have been praying about it for a while! Write down your list of what you want in a man and God will fulfill it for you! You deserve it! Do not settle for anything less! Love, your sister in Christ, Amy Standing on the Promises of God! I continue to think of and pray for you daily! Report Inappropriate Comment

PAMAPPLE 10/24/2010 11:24PM

Anybody who who treats you as this guy does is not worthy of your attention, much less affection. Stand strong and know that you are deserving of much better and move on from this disrespectful person. God loves you and has a plan for your life and I believe this person is not in His plans. Report Inappropriate Comment

GodStops

Monday, July 19, 2010

Earlier this year I did a 10 week very in-depth bible study program by Beth Moore called "Believing God", which is based on the book of the same name. In this study, Beth, opens with an explanation of something she calls a "GodStop". Her description of a GodStop is “any way God discloses Himself to you”. Of course it takes time to build your faith, to not only believe 'in’ God but to 'believe God'. That is; to believe Him about who He says He is, what He can do, who you are, and what you can do. There are many, many times in the average week when God shows Himself to each of us. Do we always recognize those moments? Probably not. Most of us, unless there's a situation boarding on 'miracle' or divine intervention that is outrageously obvious, we quite often don't recognize God's input, or hear His voice in our situations.

Well, Beth Moore, through this bible study asks people to start recording their GodStops. Carry a notebook in your purse, and jot down your GodStop moments as they occur. I do this with some brief notes that will allow me to remember the details later so I can go back and journal about them. It's an awesome practice. In the end by the time these 10 weeks are complete Beth leads you through YOUR whole lifeline and lets you go back and see God's intervention from the beginning of your life... even BEFORE you were a believer! This study is one of those rare, once-in-a-lifetime studies that is life altering. Not many studies can claim that, but I can assure you this study will change your life. Looking back on all the times that God has stepped into your life with not only the big moments but all the many small moments is completely overwhelming.

It's been quite a while now (probably close to a couple months) since the study has ended for me, but I've kept up, for the most part, recording my GodStops in my little notebook. No matter how many of these moments I record, it never ceases to amaze me just how awesome God is! I am simply dumbfounded at His perfect timing (I mean how EXACT it ALWAYS is, and how He NEVER misses one opportunity), His ability to never miss a detail, and to have the most incredible plan with details that I never could have come up with if I tried! I am always awe-struck. My breath is always taken away at how much better things work out when I let go of all my reservations and just let God take over. It always works out to be a way better plan than I ever could have conjured up!

Well, today I had a GodStop moment like that again. If you read my blog from yesterday you'll remember that I talked about how I feel I've backslidden a little when it comes to my counselling; because our beloved lead pastor has moved. I had some upsetting moments and it's in my nature to push everyone away when I'm feeling rejected or hurt; so I wasn’t sure counselling was a good idea anymore. I was thinking “maybe I just need to handle this (my life) on my own”. So, anyway, after talking about all this yesterday with you guys, my SP friends, I went today, and did my usual Monday volunteering at the church office. I love doing it. It's one of the highlights of my week. I do a couple days per week there all the time. Well, today, I'm busy working on my ongoing projects that have been assigned to me; when the phone rings. I answer it, and wouldn't you know it... it's our not-so-long-lost pastor. He asks me how are things going, what's new, and such things. I told him not much is new. I guess I've talked to him too much and he knows me well by now 'cause he asked me "really!?". So I started talking to him again. We had a great conversation. Plus, I told him how I had some fears about moving my counselling to another person; and a couple other issues. Well, by the time I hung up the phone I was feeling OK with the idea of going to this new counsellor.

So my GodStop moment today was that God sent me the one man who could get me past this... the man I felt safe talking to... just when I needed it. God came to my rescue again, just in the perfect moment!

Here’s more about the bible study. I highly recommend it. If you can’t find a church in your area that is hosting this video bible study, you can do it online. It comes with massive amounts of homework for the whole 10 weeks, but I assure you, it is worth every single minute! I addition to the rather thick workbook with spaces for your homework assignments, I, personally, wrote an additional 80 pages of homework, all typed on the computer; simply because I found that the spaces provided in the workbook were nowhere near enough to write as much as I wanted to write to complete the homework.


www.lifeway.com/believinggod/




Oh... today was the 1st day for our interim lead pastor who will be taking over until a new permanent pastor is found. He's already a member of our congregation and was a pastor in another church once, so he has lots of experience. Him, his wife, & family are already very much loved members of our church family. Today, though, she shows up on his first day at work with us... with a batch of hot muffins straight from the oven! I told her "wow, don't we just love you already?!". LOL Then I told him "I think she's a keeper!". He agreed! lol

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 7/20/2010 7:05AM

Thank you all so much for your comments. I feel like I am the one who is blessed. The love and support that I get from you guys, my SP friends, literally overwhelms me to tears sometimes, as it is right now. I've never in my whole life felt anything like it. It's one of the reasons why I feel so at home with this church I've found in the past year. The support and their ability to be non-judgmental are phenomenal. It certainly isn't the world that I've known in my lifetime. You guys have taught me so much more than weight loss. Thank you for the blessings. SERENEMOM71 - I'm sure you could do this bible study on it's own. All through the video series Beth Moore talks about how, when it was taped, that she had 2 audiences... the physical audience in the building where she was recording the series; and the online one. There was a huge online study group that also took part. Her own daughters included! Go to the website and see how this works. I can imagine that the study is likely still being done online... the only difference now is the videos are recorded and not being done live as they were for that first group. I have no idea if there's a fee or not. I just know that to purchase the series for your church to do they to charge for it; plus, as students, we had to purchase our workbooks. Check with other churches in your area. Maybe another church is doing it and you could take part in it. Comment edited on: 7/20/2010 7:11:44 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

SERENEMOM71 7/20/2010 1:49AM

I've been wanting to do a Bible Study for a while. Could I do this on my own (although it sounds like it was meant for a group)? I will ask our church if they are going to have one for the fall or spring but they don't have a woman's ministry except for a retreat every fall and spring - which is a shame since it is a big church. Carley, remember that you truly are blessed to be a blessing in the lives of many people. including me! Please keep posting on our website - you are so interesting and have much to say! I enjoy reading your blogs. God bless you. I continue to pray for you daily. Let me know if there is anything specific I can pray about. Love, your sister in Christ, Amy L Report Inappropriate Comment

-WISPY- 7/19/2010 9:28PM

Ao pleased things are going well for you Carley. Hugs Wispy. Report Inappropriate Comment

ANNIE924 7/19/2010 8:00PM

I love the Beth Moore studies. We have done one a year at our church for the past several years, though I don't think they did Believing God (I lived away for a couple of years). I will have to check with our women's ministry coordinator to see if we've done it. Glad you feel more comfortable about your counselling. Have a great week. Report Inappropriate Comment

Paranoid?

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Whatta ya know about paranoia?! I mean... can anyone help me and give me some advice on this. I have a friend that I've been noticing more and more is either just plain ol' mean and nasty or he's suffering from some serious paranoia. How do I know the difference? How do I know if this is just a personality flaw or some kind of symptom to something much more serious. It hurts; the nasty stuff he says, but it's so over-the-top off the wall, and sometimes creepy, that I'm just in shock. He says stuff that isn't logical and makes no sense to me. I'm just concerned for him, and for myself too. How far could this go? How big of a deal is this? Could he potentially hurt someone, or himself? I've tried to do some reading on this but it didn't really help me much. Of course, the obvious final question is "am I the one being paranoid thinking about this?" lol

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1_AMAZING_WOMAN 3/4/2010 12:29AM

Listen to your gut. Don't try to talk yourself out of it, or rationalize why it may be something else. Don't take the risk. There are plenty of people out there to associate with and have as friends that you don't need to put yourself in risk with one person. Take care, Amber Report Inappropriate Comment

ANSING 3/3/2010 11:08AM

I hope your friend is getting some kind of care for his problems. But unless he WANTS help, there isn't anything you can do for him, except pray. Try not to take what he says seriously. Whether he's paranoid or not, it is HIS problem not yours. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLJ35 3/3/2010 10:51AM

I was just ready to write, and see Dawn has said exactly what I wanted to say. Better to be safe than sorry, you know. Report Inappropriate Comment

DAWNO64 3/3/2010 10:08AM

If he's being over the top and creepy, he's probably got some serious mental issues. You might want to distance yourself as much as possible, for your own sake. Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling A Little Homesick

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Once in a while... in the blue moon of blue moons... I actually get homesick when the sky is about to fall in with no hope. It's during these times I just wanna go home. This is an awesome video & song! It helps take me home when I can't otherwise go.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=saDsP8c4-rE&
feature=PlayList&p=8027043103AFFAC9&in
dex=2

I hate to admit it but I think Paul is right yet again. You can take the girl out of Newfoundland, but you can't take Newfoundland out of the girl. He always called me his tough little redneck Newfie girlfriend. LOL Sometimes I think maybe he was right.



God bless Newfoundland

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALGARYNEWF 3/4/2010 11:43AM

Now I'm homesick..LOL Thanks for sharing the video and song. It's awesome! Comment edited on: 3/4/2010 11:43:46 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

_FALINE_ 3/2/2010 10:03PM

Sounds like a great place. my internet is running slow so I have yet to see the clip, but I am waiting. Have a great day! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKYCARLEY 3/2/2010 6:24PM

Thanks. I highly recommend it for a vacation! Awesome scenery. You'll never get more friendly people anywhere! They are a unique culture. They're also a unique gene pool. Scientists study Newfoundland people because the gene pool is unique from anywhere else. You'll never go to Newfoundland and come with your whole heart. Part of your heart will always stay there! Report Inappropriate Comment

JENNY888 3/2/2010 5:10PM

Thank you for sharing the YouTube link. I have just gone on a mini virtual vacation for less than five minutes to a land I haven't seen before. I can see why you are homesick. It is beautiful there. Report Inappropriate Comment

Small Goals! Are They Really?

Friday, February 26, 2010

As Sparkers we've all been well educated on the importance of setting small goals. I feel like we’ve been let in on some special life’s secrets that the world doesn’t know about. That’s how much I’ve learned since joining SP. I want to shout and share it with the world. SP has taught us that we're not out to lose 50 lbs, 75 lbs, 100 lbs, 200 lbs, etc. We're out to lose 10, or maybe even 5! Then when that's gone, we're set out to lose another 5 or 10 & so on! We've been well taught how important it is to take small steps, don't 'bite off more than you can chew', be patient, don't give up when you have set backs (which you will), and to REWARD yourself. SparkPeople.com and their awesome team have taught all of us these things. It's so important to set small, achievable goals for yourself with rewards planned for each mini-goal reached.

For so many decades weight loss has been a struggle for most of the civilized world. SparkPeople.com has discovered the secrets! They're awesome, yet at the same time, when you look at it; it's all common sense! You put healthy stuff in, you’re gonna get healthy stuff coming back! Work hard and you will get results! The only thing we really need is the motivation and determination behind us to JUST DO IT! You need to have 'that' vision in mind of a goal that you want to achieve that's TRULY more important to you than eating is! Whatever your reasons for over-eating or being over weight... it's there for a reason. When you find the reason in your life that's truly more important than your reasons for eating... you WILL succeed! If you're not progressing, than what you think is more important isn't really! If it were you would be succeeding. So if you're trying to lose weight because you want to be alive for your family, but you're not making much progress in your weight loss, than you really have to wonder... why not? Weight loss is all about the psychological issues more than the physical. Overall, it's a small percentage of people who are overweight for medical reasons over psychological reasons. Once you’ve figured out your subconscious reasons for the need to eat and you’re willing to let go of whatever it is that you’re getting out of overeating, than you will succeed. These important SparkPeople theories about weight loss, I have found can be applied to other areas of my life as well. I’m learning so much about how to be a strong, capable, independent person from SparkPeople. This website has changed me in more ways than just the physical!

Back in the early 90’s (Christmas 1992, to be exact) I was in a major auto accident that changed my life. I was the passenger in a car with my (then) fiancé on an icy highway in central Ontario. It was Boxing Day. We were on our way north to visit his family for the remainder of the Christmas & New Year Holiday season. We lived in Barrie, and were on our way north on Highway 69 toward Sudbury; a drive that typically took us about 3 hours. We got as far as North Bay; and we drove around a large turn in the road, and suddenly we hit a pile up of cars that had already been crashing. We were the last car on a pile of 6 vehicles. They had to use the jaws-of-life to cut us out. They told us that we were extremely lucky for many reasons, but one being that our car was a rag-top convertible. It was a very nice sports car, and well built. Though our car was completely totaled, it was strong enough to withstand the crash, and protected us from being crushed. That was my lifestyle back then. If it wasn’t for that well built Chrysler I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this to you right now. In the emergency room later that evening, he said to me “Now you know why Highway 69 is called The Highway to Heaven”. I said to him “Oh great, so now you tell me!”.

My life changed in so many ways that day. I could, literally, write a book on the spinoff that affects my life to this day. For months after I was almost bedridden. I was able to get up and about but it would take a quite a while and I needed help. Getting to the bathroom alone or putting my clothes on without help was impossible for weeks after the accident. It took a long time for me to recover. I remember the day that I went to the bathroom alone. Then I came out and walked toward my bed, sat down and put my own clothes on… by myself! It took me quite some time to achieve all this… but I did it! ALONE! Just me, with no help from anyone! I truly and honestly felt like I could conquer the world. I sat there alone crying with joy and said out loud “look out world. I’m back & there’s no stopping me now!”. I called everyone I could think of to tell them how excited I was. I got responses that raged from “Yea, Ok… good for you” with a tone of “so what?”; to “Yea OK… Good for you” with a tone of “I’m so proud of you and so happy for you”; to a sarcastic “some of us have been doing that for quite some time now”. Yea, I know… there’s always the comedian in the bunch, especially in my family! There’s no end to the comedians! LOL

My point is that it was a small thing in my life… yet it wasn’t! It was HUGE! Just like each pound lost with SparkPeople. It’s a big deal! Nothing is a small achievement. It’s important and each step is important to changing the whole YOU! Weight loss isn’t just about changing your size, your weight, your clothing. It’s about changing who you are on the inside. There’s only one right way to change YOU... and it has to be done in 3 parts… body, mind, and spirit! If you don’t complete all 3 parts, or if you do a flimsy job on anyone of the 3, than the whole package will not be complete. You need to set your goals. You need to know the steps to achieve them, and the route you need to take to get there! And if you don't know, than you need to reach out to someone who can guide you in the right steps. Just like my journey north on that day after Christmas 1992. We could have gone a different route to Sudbury. We didn’t because the other route would have been about an hour extra, and being a snowy Ontario winter day we didn’t want to be on the road any longer than necessary. But guess what? For an extra hour, my whole life would have turned out completely different! Know what you want. Don’t be afraid of hard work, or how much time it takes to get there. The goal is to get there… alive and happy!

This week I had a couple things that got me excited, and made me feel proud like I just accomplished a goal. They were also small things, yet big things.

First, I learned to accept that my friend that I talked about in the last couple of blogs that’s leaving my life isn’t the end of the world. It’s my pastor. He’s been vital in my progress since last spring. He’s my pastor, my counselor, my greatest confident, and most of all he’s my friend. He’s leaving town. It devastated me to find this out. Thankfully God is good and didn’t leave me to learn this news with the rest of the masses. That would have been more than I could handle. This week, I’ve come to realize that life goes on. There is life after Cliff, and I will survive and be OK! He will forever be in my heart, and will forever be a vital person in my progress in my journey. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to Timbuktu… he’s just going to Whitby… a couple hours down the highway! He’s not leaving until the end of June and there’s already people talking about when they’re going to go & visit him. Plus his family is here in town & he assures me that he’ll be back to visit. So, you see, all is not as dire as my dragon would have me believe sometimes.

I’ve been super sick this week. It’s been many years since I was this sick. I couldn’t keep any food down for several days. I had, literally, no energy. Getting across the hall from my bedroom to the bathroom was a big deal. Honestly! I even passed out in the bathroom at one point. It’s been almost a week now since it hit me suddenly. My stomach is still unstable, but I’m eating. My legs are still jelly-like, but I’m getting up and out. So, my next big accomplishment this week… getting from my bedroom all the way to my kitchen without passing out or throwing up again! Woo Hoo! Look out world… here I come! It’s all a matter of perspective. Who’s to say what is truly a small goal or a small step, or what is a big one?

Love you SparkFriends for being such a vital part of my progress.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 2/27/2010 12:03AM

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments. It's your feedback and support that is my inspiration to keep pushing myself so hard all the time. Thanks so much. Report Inappropriate Comment

SERENEMOM71 2/26/2010 11:49PM

Good for you! It is hard to let go of the people we really care about and depend on. I'm so sorry that you are ill. I hope that you recover soon. Report Inappropriate Comment

ANSING 2/26/2010 6:04PM

You are so right about the small goals. We need to celebrate each and everyone. I'm sorry you've been so sick, hope you will get your strength back soon! Report Inappropriate Comment

KEEPSAKES66 2/26/2010 2:18PM

Carley, I loved this blog! It's so true and touches on so many levels. It really is a complete makeover when you do this the right way. I am so encouraged by you and all you have overcome. Report Inappropriate Comment

ROYALQUEEN0708 2/26/2010 12:22PM

Excellent post. I like the part about when we have to let go of people we care about that it is not the end of the world. You are also right about celebrating the appearing small accomplishments as big deals in our lives. I really needed to read this. Thanks Report Inappropriate Comment