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SPARKYCARLEY's Recent Blog Entries

What Weapons are More Dangerous?

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Ever wonder what weapons do the most destruction or who your worst enemy might be? I think the answers might surprise you.

SPARK FRIENDS... there's a special note to you all at the bottom of the post on this one. Many blessings to all of you. I love you for the support. So many days, you guys are all I have to turn to. Thank you for being there, and for not judging me. HUGS..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 8/27/2012 7:39PM

    Thank you for reading, and thank you so very much for the support. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

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MICHELLE6468 8/27/2012 11:22AM


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SANDRALEET 8/27/2012 6:24AM

    Take your medication and get better my friend I will pray for you.

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The Carley Show

Saturday, August 25, 2012

You know that movie with Jim Carrey where he is living inside a bubble and the whole world is watching him; laughing at him because he is unaware that his whole life is just a TV show? I had to go look it up; it's called 'The Truman Show'. Nothing is real in Truman's world; not the people, his life, love, everything in his existence is fake. He belongs no where and to no one real.

That's me and my life. Jesus and my parents love me, and my wonderful Sparkly friends inside my computer love me. No one else does. No matter how much I try to give them all what they want, it's never good enough. I want to run away and just drop off air completely. I want to leave the bubble, and I want my show cancelled.

Why wouldn't I? It's not like I'll be missed (outside of SparkPeople). Even with you guys I think if I really cared about you at all in return the best gift I could give you is to let you have your SparkWorld exist without me in it. Granted, if The Carley Show was cancelled they would all miss their entertainment, but someone new will be along soon with a bigger and better show. Likely someone who is funnier, prettier, more real, more creative, sexier, more desireable over all. They will be less of a freak of nature. Not so much of a comedy show, more of an action, drama, and suspense person. Someone who can hold their attention outside of a laugh. Much more exciting for certain than any comedy ever was.

They won't be so broken. Not like me who's been broken and shattered and glued back together so often that I don't even look anything like the original piece I started out to be. I am useless, mean, horrible, ugly. My big talent in life is breaking hearts.

Every time I walk out my door these days I wonder if I'm making a mistake. Maybe I should do the world and myself a favor and stay home. Every time I turn on Facebook or SparkPeople I wonder if I should delete all the profiles instead. Every post I write I wonder if I should just shut down my blogs instead. Maybe they've run their course already.

For now, the world will have to live with reruns. I don't have the energy to produce new ones.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 8/27/2012 7:02PM

    Thank you Evelyn. Part of my continuing struggle is my refusal to give up. Call it good faith, call it stubbornness... or a bit of both. When I'm in my weakest points I tend to make harsh and hasty decisions based on my emotions. God has been working on that in me for a while. When I'm in the darkest places lately my instinct is to shut off everything and disappear. Running away, though, never solved much in this world; and, like I said, I'm trying to follow God's leading on not making emotional decisions. It's hard, and even harder when one can't see clearly what they're shooting at. I'm also trying to work on my instinct to retreat from everything and everyone when I'm in a bad place. I pull away to try and fix things myself, and even lash out to others telling myself that it's better for them to hate me & leave than to stay here and see me broken. I guess that's a pride issue. Anyway, thank you for the support. I won't shut down my sites without a good strong leading from God. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

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EJOY-EVELYN 8/27/2012 6:42PM

    I think I may have just answered my own question here with your blog: Is this your way of saying you're going to take a Spark break? Whatever you decide, I pray God gives you a little extra favor and grace to understand how important and precious you are. Thank you for gracing our pages with your worship blogs. Take care, Carley. I wish you well in whatever your endeavors. I cannot say I've met anyone who struggled so with life yet found such incredible light to share with the world.

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/25/2012 8:38PM

    Thank you dear SparkFriends. I just referred to you all as Sparklers in a couple other thank you notes I wrote. You are like bright little sparklers in the dark for me today, reflecting back the glow of the glory of Jesus. I'm feeling much better this evening. I have a special friend / mentor who stopped by and talked with me. We went out to dinner after and tomorrow we're going to see a couple of other friends.

I'm battling Bipolar Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder (which are much like conflicting sides of the same coin), plus spiritual warfare... and I'm doing it without a spouse in my life. I'm tired. Sometimes my strength runs dry. Thank God that Jesus is with me, even when I don't see Him. Thank God for my Sparklers!!!

MANY Blessings to you dear friend. HUGS.

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    That mind set is not you...You are having a spiritual attack and satan is the master at lies so don't listen to that negative talk. YOU are doing GOD's work and so you are being attacked in ways that evil knows will make you ineffective....don't allow are strong because Christ in you is victorious! Let the light shine in you....think only positive thoughts and keep your eyes upon Jesus! Please I know where you are in that dark place...I get attacked like that too....if you weren't following the path of light you wouldn't have issues but you are doing GOD's will so you are going to have these spiritual battles....pray....praise Jesus and know you are not alone ever!

GOD bless you and surround you with the Holy Spirit of truth!



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_RAMONA 8/25/2012 12:15PM

    My dear Carley.... you've been here before (likely will be again)... and you've moved beyond. This, too, shall pass. Just be kind to yourself and let God transform the pain.... and go read my blog... and especially the comments. Lots there for both of us!

A sister in prayer and faith....


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EDUCGRAD 8/25/2012 11:04AM

    Big hugs to you.SP is real.When I first started here ,I had gotten to meet some of my fellow sparkers from my local team.That was such a boost. I do understand about a broken heart as my husband and I lost our very godly son suddenly on Dec. 31,2011.So our hearts are broken.I do feel as though I can't please my inlaws,but I am righteous through Jesus.He died for my sins and has given me his righteousness.I do a Godwinks journal of little things I see such a rainbow,a heron,etc.things I usually don't see. Keep in the Word and keep on SP emoticon emoticon

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EDITOR 8/25/2012 9:42AM

    Was on TV last night. Can't depend on fantasy. The Lord Jesus is reality.

Carley, you never followed up with a praise report or update on Mom.

Just sending my best to you and hoping you will do what is right and good.

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SWIMLOVER 8/25/2012 9:34AM

  Yes, please get help. You are worth it! You are worth a lot in GOD'S EYES! GOD is with you every step of the way. I am praying for you. GOD will give you the right help. You have a lot to give to the world so please do not give up. You are made in the image of GOD and that says a lot!

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SANDRALEET 8/25/2012 8:50AM

    My friend please get help you are not bad It is your Illness taking over your life .There is help out there .Do not give up God is with you. He will be with you all the way .I will pray for you and ask God to send you help.

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RUTHIEBEAR 8/25/2012 8:47AM

    Oh sweetie, I felt so sad when I read this. I have similar feelings a lot of days. I won't go into all of my stress issues, but I feel like my life is a nightmare and I can't wake up. SP is real, not a bubble like the Truman SHow. People here are caring and encouraging. I find the more I support others, the better I feel.
ANother thing I do is keep a running blessing journal. Every day I start the day reading all of the positives written so far. At the end of the day I read it again, and add one positive from that day.
Please do not leave us. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

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Forgiveness: Is Getting it as Important as Giving it?

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Thank you for being my friends. I'm sorry if I've hurt or disappointed any of you.

Here's what I'm thinking about today....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 8/20/2012 6:23PM

    NELLIEC - Thank you for sharing. I went for some blood-work today. It could be medications side effects. It could be a nutrition issue. When I'm stressed, I tend not to eat much. I know when I had these issues before (about 8 years ago), it eventually went away when my stress load was decreased and I started eating healthy. It is rather fascinating that you remember about the same time each day. I'm a firm believe there are solutions to be found when one can see definite patterns in things. Many blessings to you, and thanks for the support. HUGS.

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NELLIEC 8/18/2012 3:49PM

    About the gaps in memory, I have those at times. Some people might say it is because I am getting older, but this has been occurring ever since my twenties when I had a stroke and didn't know what happened. Later a brain scan showed its effects. What is interesting is that usually about midnight or 1 AM, I remember what it was that had escaped me!

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/18/2012 12:07PM

    Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you. HUGS.

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1FAVOREDLADY 8/18/2012 12:04PM

    Hi CARLEY , I love forgiveness. Thank you. I sure need it! emoticon

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/18/2012 11:54AM

    Thank you for the support friends. Hugs.

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SANDRALEET 8/18/2012 11:45AM

    You my friend did not hurt or disappoint me.We are who we are God made us and loves us If he dose who can not each other unconditionally love like God dose.

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WALLINMW 8/18/2012 11:45AM

  Thanks for sharing!

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I Need Some Help

Thursday, August 16, 2012


I need your help! I'm doing research for one of my book projects.

I'd like to know what your favorite scripture verses are; and why? What do you get from those verses? Do they help you with anger, peace, temptation, sin, self-confidence, faith.... ? I'd love to know.

Share this with your friends.

Leave your replies here in the comment section, or message me.

Thanks. Many blessings & Thank you's to all of you. HUGS.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 8/19/2012 1:58AM

    FOr today it is:
A Time for Everything
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/18/2012 8:56PM

    LITTLEGUYSMOM1 - Thank you. It's amazing that you quote that scripture to me. It's come across my path so many times in the past 2 days. It's gotta be 7 or 8 times or more. God wants me to hear Him; I'm trying so hard. Thank you. Blessings to you. HUGS.

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1 8/18/2012 8:44PM

    Psalm 46:10a Be still, and know that I am God...

It is a comfort in hard times, a reminder when I get anxious, brings peace to my heart when I follow it. I chose it as my life verse many years ago and go to it often.

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/16/2012 9:57PM

    Thanks so much for your input. Blessings to you. HUGS.

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SANDRALEET 8/16/2012 7:55PM

    Mathew 5 6 7 It tells me so much.

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Think Your Home is Safe? Think Again!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Home isn't always the safe place we wish it was. Family & church family alike can be influenced by the snakes that sneak in; and we get hurt when we're not looking and least expect it. Here's your escape plan!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 8/14/2012 6:08PM

    NELLIEC - Thank you so very, very much for sharing your story. Every story of escape that gets told, is another bright spot of hope for those who are still caught in it. You are a blessing. I encourage everyone to pray for abused people, and for the abusers, that are all around us. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/14/2012 6:06PM

    GODDREAMDIVA1 - Thanks for replying. It helps to keep me motivated to look forward and to keep writing. I pray all the time. I can't imagine my day without it. I'm not sure how I ever got along without it in my BC days. Funny how one tends to forget the worldly things after a while. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

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SPARKYCARLEY 8/14/2012 6:04PM

    WILLINMV - Thanks for replying. It helps to keep me motivated to look forward and to keep writing. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

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NELLIEC 8/14/2012 3:49PM

    I know that when I finally decided to leave my husband, I made very careful plans to leave. I kept hoping that it would change, but when I knew for sure it would not and it was getting worse, I left with my children and our pets. After a time in a women's shelter, we traveled 3000 miles away.

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/14/2012 1:54PM

    Pray, Pray, Pray...

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WALLINMW 8/14/2012 1:27PM

  thanks for sharing

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