Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Have you ever felt like you don't know what's worse... the sickness or the cure? That's kinda how I feel now & then.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision last year by moving. Not that I am not overwhelmingly pleased about my current place... because I am. It's better than anything I ever had in my own mind... but then God has a tendency to do that when you keep faith.
The thing is, I miss a certain someone... a lot... even though we made each other nuts.
Plus I miss my doggie. And, worse than missing him, is the stress that I have over trying to find a place for him to live. I don't want to have him put-down just because of lack of a place for him to live. When the time comes I would like to think he will either die of natural causes or I will have him put down due to illness. But to end his life over living arrangements would probably kill me too. I, really, would never allow myself to own another dog if that happened.
Anyway, I guess I have to take my own advice and keep faith. God will help my baby... and somehow he will either help my heart let go of this guy, or he will turn it into something good.
I just had to get all that stuff out right now. If I sound like I'm rambling it's because I am. Thanks for listening Sparkers. You guys are awesome. Oh, and thanks for helping with the great response on my Worship Melodies blog site lately. It really means sooooo much to me!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I had a weird dream last night. I'm wondering what it means. Anyone have any knowledge or education in how to properly interpret dreams? Here's how it goes... what I remember about it.
There was a guy... someone I started dating. It is someone I know in real life, but I don't remember who. I just remember that I like him a lot and was excited to be with him. It is possible that it is a guy I had one date with recently and it didn't work out. I thought it did, but apparently he didn't. He sent me a nasty email the next day. I was very hurt.
Anyway, in this dream, we were going back to my place one day. We were driving a mini-van. Someone else was with us. I'm not sure who, but I think it was my friend from church... who is like a best friend for me now. She's 14 years older than me. She was my mentor in the mentoring program. Anyway, in the dream, when we got back to my place, the apartment wasn't in the the building I'm living in now. It was the house I used to own back when I was married... except I didn't own it in the dream. I was renting the downstairs apartment (which is where my ex-husband lived when I met him, before we purchased that same house together.) That's what I remember about my dream.
And, a side note... today (July 24th), would have been our 18th wedding anniversary if we were still together. I'm not dealing with it well. Which is 2 days after my birthday which I am also not dealing with very well. There are a few other things that piled up on me this week besides, but that's another story.
Back to the dream. We all got out of the van and went into the garage so we could go into the apartment (the separate entrance to the apartment is inside the garage of that house). Anyway, when I opened the garage door to start in, my ex-roommate was there. The one I talked about in my SP blog a while back called "Stockholm Syndrome". I was sooooooooooo happy to see him, and he was happy to see me. It was like we were in love or something, and I was happy that this other guy was going to see that. I suddenly wanted this new guy to see me in love with someone else because then maybe he would go away, or maybe he would suddenly want me and I could tell him "you're too late".
Oh, a few other small points... I think the mini-van was burgundy... not sure where that came from. Either that it was light-blue (same color as the one my dad used to own). Finally, this happened on a bright sunny day.... which considering the super hot temps we're having lately, is not so far fetched in a dream... besides, I loveeeee summer! :-)
Saturday, July 16, 2011
OK... last time I talked about "20 Things that Make Me Happy"... which really wasn't a concept that I came up with myself. I saw it somewhere. However, it did trigger this new topic.... "20 Things that I Just Do NOT Get!". It's sorta like the flip side. Except, to me, the flip side, really, would be things that make me angry, or things that make me cry. Though that could be a couple blogs on their own, I really don't want to write about them. My best writing comes when I'm 'in the moment'... and I just don't want to get myself that upset. So here's the next best thing. There are some things in this world that I don't understand. For the life of me I just simply cannot wrap my brain around them. Things that make you go "hmmmmmm?!"
I''m going to start from the last one, first, and work my way up to the number one thing that I just do not get!
20. How to cook bacon without having the house full of smoke and the smoke detector going off saying ďFire. Food. Fire. FoodĒ in that annoying voice!
19. Rap or Punk Music. Itís just noise. Isnít the part about Ďmusicí supposed to have some? This doesnít.
18. Pointy toe shoes.... ewwwww! Ugly. Points are for weapons, not wardrobe!
17. Why anyone would want to wear wool! As much as I really hate Ďcoldí, no amount of warm is worth that much itching!
16. Older... OK, maybe that one is wishful thinking! I am a dreamer, after all! LOL
15. The fascination with Hummers... letís face it, theyíre ugly!
14. Clock faces without numbers. I mean... really... isnít the numbers kind of the point of the thing?!
13. Why God made coffee. The stuff stinks!!!!!!!! How can you people drink that stuff?!
12. Why JR doesnít like me. So... I nearly made him as crazy as he made me... is that a good reason to be so pissed?! LOL
11. Atheism. It takes wayyyy too much faith to believe that all the world... itís perfect order, the incredible detail right down to the atom, how it all works together; right down to all creatures recognizing their own kind... was all created out of nothing. To believe that some huge cosmic burp suddenly happened, out of nothing, and created all that there is in amazingly perfect detail is just not logical to me. My thinking is that Someone had to have made it, or at least started the ball rolling. Besides... Iíve seen presentations that show that science backs up the bible. I can send you some links to do some reading on it if youíre interested.
10. Star Trek.
9. Laid... I know TMI. I need a husband. Anyone have any spare single male friends? Iíll pay for shipping. Even a hubby youíre about to kick to the curb would do right now! LOL
8. Men. Nuff said! Hmmmm? I wonder if this is related to #9?
7. Why God made winter. Itís cold! Cold = Very uncomfortable = Not good!
6. Slapstick Humour or Bathroom Humour. I donít see where the funny part is in that.
5. Tapioca. Itís gross. My Grandfather said it best ďwhoever ate that the first time can have it backĒ. Again, Nuff said!
4. Why God made cats... or Mosquitoes. Some things just donít seem to have a purpose... outside of annoyance.
3. Golf. Itís just weird.
2. Twitter. Why do I care what someone else is doing? Why do they care what Iím doing?
...aaaaaaand, drum roll please, the number one thing that I just do NOT get...
1. The Facebook 'Poke'. Seems to me itís as annoying as someone being next to you poking you with their finger. I mean, seriously... doesnít that make you wanna just smack someone?!
Well, I hope you enjoyed my list. Or maybe, I've caused you to start wondering! Either way... see if you can come up with 20 of your own! Even this topic, was kinda fun putting it together.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
No matter what my day has been like, no matter how low my mood swing may have dropped, I can always count on my SparkFriends to bring me up. SparkPeople doesn't even feel like a website. It feels like a whole world by itself. It is a wonderful world filled with wonderful people. Thank you for that.
I got this idea for a blog topic somewhere else a while back. I thought it sounded like fun... and today I need that lift... so writing this list and writing it for my SP friends is what I need right now to give me that lift.
20 Things that Make Me Happy...
1. My church
2. My new apartment
3. Cheesecake... sorry, but there has to be at least one sinful food in that list! :-D
4. SparkPeople Team "THE RED BRA PHILOSOPHY - for tough life issues"
6. Sunny days of summer
7. Puppy kisses
8. A bottle of vodka! Oh, wait, maybe that's a different kind of 'happy' LOL
9. Pics of Vince Neil or Tom Cruise. Oh, or Axel Rose in the 'Sweet Child of Mine' video!
10. Good hair days
12. Dance music... the good stuff... not the stuff they call dance music now-a-days
13. A good, comfy support bra... and yes, I love the under-wires... and a smooth seamless cup
14. Remembering my Grandma... especially when she started to giggle!
15. Hearing "I love you"
16. Hot dates at the drive in... oh wait, scratch that one. Make that, watching great movies with a good friend. :-D
17. Listening to Gary Allen music..... AWWWWW Oh My GOSH... He is sooooo hot it just makes me crazy!
18. The little plastic pick thingy they make for flossing teeth! They're soooo much better than regular dental floss!
19. Exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!
20. How much Jesus loves me. :-D
OK... Done... I'm 'lifted' and happy. Thanks so much!
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